We were downstairs, having breakfast, when Howard came down. "You two even beat me out of bed this morning. I've heard a lot about you, Chuck, but didn't really know what to expect. John was always so straight and you are too, but you just feel looser, more on your toes. One footed toes, that is."
"This is an important day for you, Howard, getting introduced to your first station as the Chief, then representing the service and your station at a major meeting. Let me be the heavy today so you can get a working relationship with these people. Hopefully, we'll get everything put together the way it needs to be."
The meeting and introductions to the men went well. There were a hell of a lot of deputies, so many that we ended up having the meeting outside on the lawn in back of the building. Everyone could hear if we spoke loud enough, and everyone was saddened by the loss of Randy, but happy for one of their own for his promotion.
The men were all assigned and out by nine thirty. I called the Bureau Chief to check on our attorney and was told the man was already on his way to the convention center.
I said goodbye to Glenda, in case we were able to get out of there this evening, then we headed out to the convention center. I made sure we all stopped at the Texas barbecue stand to get a couple of sandwiches. We ate standing up, then proceeded to the convention center. We were in place with our attorney and a federal judge at twelve fifteen. I asked the attorney to open the book I would need, and highlight the statutes I wanted to quote.
The federal people, with additional attorneys, began showing up and were all in place by twelve thirty. I quickly explained how I was going to handle the meeting. They agreed with me and told me to handle it.
At twelve forty-five, the Texas Ranger contingent came in, glad handing everyone, happy to get the meeting underway. At twelve fifty, the county people showed up, apologizing for being late and sat quickly.
People had a piece of white, heavy, stock paper with a black crayon to write their names and departments on. They folded it and sat it in front of them so it would show like a nameplate. Everyone would know who they were talking to.
At one, I stood and said, "It is important that we start all together, so we will wait for Dallas. To let you know, we will break for ten minutes out of every sixty. There is water and soft drinks along the wall. Feel free to get up at any time and get another drink. I'm told it's too difficult to have coffee, so we don't have that for us addicts. Don't worry about getting hungry. We have sandwiches ordered and they will be served at every break from three o'clock on. We will need the food for energy."
There was a mass exodus from the tables to get water or soft drinks. I had a water and a juice for energy. Come on, Dallas.
About thirty people came in the door at one twenty. They all had their noses in the air and sat at the central tables the others had left for them, knowing what would occur.
One guy didn't wait till his people were sitting and said, "When are you going to get your head out of your ass and release our funding?"
"If you will have a seat, Sir, the meeting can start. I've already gone over that refreshments are available all the time and that we will break ten minutes of every hour. I will provide food after three so we have the energy to continue."
I stood in front of my table waiting for the group to sit. When they were finally settled, I said, "My name is Charles Johnson or Chuck Johnson. I am with the U.S. Marshal's Service. We are here to define what each of our responsibilities are and how we will interact. I'm sure that by the time we leave, we will all be satisfied."
I went for the big book with pages marked and statutes marked. "First, I will read some statutes that I and the Marshal's Service must live by. When I've read all the statutes that pertain to our meeting, I will address each issue one at a time. We will fully and unanimously agree on each issue, then go on to the next item."
"Keep in mind that the agreements we make today will be good only until our new facilities are open. After that, we will either abide by all statutes or have another meeting much like this one."
I read the statutes slowly. I read each one twice, with emphasis on the phrases that were important. I read the statutes as to how the federal departments must interact with the state, county, and city departments, and what support we must give them and what support we could expect from them.
"First, now that you've heard how we must protect our judges, I want to address the bailiff issue. If you want to have a bailiff to accompany a deputy, that is permissible. If a bailiff obstructs a deputy, he will be held in contempt, as the statute states. I suggest a trade off for right now. Until our new facility is built, our office will use the county and state court bailiffs to serve our subpoenas and the bailiffs will stop trying to impede our deputies while attending to our judges. That will actually give your bailiffs more income than standing around the court house."
I pointed to the county guy that represented the bailiffs. He said, "I don't know if the membership will go for that. We can take over your subpoena business anyway; those should be ours."
The federal judge stood up and said, "Dick, you stupid little shit. When you learn the law, then you can get in front of a group and blow smoke up our asses. Until then shut up and let your attorney talk for you."
The man, "Dick" was still standing, red in the face, and yelled, "I'll have you that know I went to law school for three years."
The judge just said, "And flunked every course you took, I know the story, Dick. Now shut up or I'll have you jailed on a federal Baker act."
The county attorney stood up with a book in his hand and said, "It says within our statutes that all subpoenas served within our jurisdiction will be served by our bailiffs."
My attorney said, "Read him his own statute under that blue page marker."
I said to the attorney, "Sir, you forgot to read the next paragraph. It says that all federal subpoenas will be served by U.S. Marshals, or as directed by the federal judge issuing the subpoena. As a note, you are also to have a Ranger accompany you on all state issued subpoenas, and I understand you are not doing that at this time."
The county attorney was reading the next paragraph again and finally said, "You're right on both counts. Okay, but how can our bailiffs do this?"
The judge said, "Charlie, read that last paragraph again out loud for me."
He read the paragraph and when he said "federal judge" his voice trailed off and he just sat down.
"Okay, your bailiffs will take a powder at the courthouse when the federal judges hold court, and we will in turn give your bailiffs some extra money until our new building is built."
The idiot, Dick, stood up again and said, "Yeah, but we've always done it the other way."
The judge said, "No, Dick, only since we've not had a building have we had the disagreement. You've only worked for the county bailiffs for a year and a half, now please be quiet."
I looked at the attorney and asked, "You okay with that? You agree?"
When he agreed, I asked each of the attending attorneys and didn't begin the next topic until they all agreed.
"The next item on the agenda is prisoners. Out of one hundred and eleven federal prisoners housed within your group, twenty-eight escaped, and eighty-four times, they were late getting to court. I want our deputies to transport all prisoners and for all prisoners to be appropriately chained within your jail. Each prisoner will have both a waist chain and cuffs, and an ankle chain and cuffs. These will remain on at all times so we don't lose these men. We will provide coveralls for our prisoners so they stand out. We will also pay the appropriate per diem for them. It would be nice to keep them together, but you can mix them if you wish. I will not change my mind about having a deputy marshal transport a federal prisoner to court."
"Sheriff, how do you feel about what I need to have happen?"
"I didn't know that we let twenty-eight escape. I also wasn't aware of the eighty-four times we held up court because we were late. If we did that to our judges, we would be held in contempt. Can you give us a hand supervising these prisoners if we keep them together?"
"It's a done deal. Work with the new Station Chief."
I went around to everyone and asked if they agreed.
We took a break, peed, got more water, and started again. I reread the statutes on the next group of items again and began.
At the three o'clock break, a bunch of sandwiches appeared. More came each hour, all different.
Around six o'clock, I asked each of the Federal people with me, "Any more requests?"
I asked the Ranger in charge, "Do you see that we want to work together? Can you work with the Bureau and Marshal's deputies now? The DEA, ATF, and Homeland Security all have jobs they must do. They want to work with all of the departments here, but some activities must be held close and not shared until the deal is done. This avoids dead people on both sides. Please work together. I will release funding for one month. At the end of the thirty days I will either hear that you guys are playing nice together or we will be back here. None of us owns the sandbox; it belongs to all of us. Let's get the job of protecting our citizens done, and let's have fun doing it together."
I went around the room while they were still sitting and shook hands with every person attending, even the idiot, Dick. When I was done, I went to get another bottle of water and another little sandwich. I turned and said, "We're done; let's get the hell out of here. You will all receive a transcript of every word spoken here. Let's use this as a starting point and get going."
At my table, Howard and Wanda asked, "How are you going to give them a transcript?"
My laptop was open with the keyboard facing all the people. I pushed a couple of keys and the beginning of the meeting began playing on the screen. I smiled and said, "Should be easy to make copies of the meeting."
Wanda laughed and said, "I wondered how you were going to keep track of who said what?"
I shook hands with our attorney and thanked him. I told the judge, "I love ya, I wish you were in Tampa with me."
"You're a good kid. A little mouthy, but you have your ducks in a row. Come back and see us."
I shook hands with the Bureau Chief and all the other Station Chiefs, thanking them for coming. Lastly, I shook hands again with Howard and Dennis. "Take care of this branch. Get that new clerk trained and Glenda retired if she really wants to be. If not, find her some projects to work on, such as coordinating the different groups to work together. Play nice with the others, and do a good job for the citizens, OK."
I took a deep breath as I put my laptop away. "Wanda, it's six twenty, call John and tell him to warm up the plane. Let's go home."
Ben had been sitting on the side of the room with the food, of course, and got up to accompany us out. He said, "I wondered why you two had your bags this morning. You done did everything huh?"
At the airport, the plane was sitting there with the right engine running and John was waiting for us to board before cranking up the left. As soon as our bags were thrown in the back and the door was closed, the engine was started and John was calling for instructions. I called Bobby on my cell phone. She said they had just finished swimming and were getting ready to eat. I told her we were on our way and she whooped. I told her, "Hold that thought, we'll be there soon."
As soon as the plane was off the ground, I got John some coffee, and then Wanda and I raided the liquor cabinet. We each had two tiny bottles of Beefeaters on ice, while we both wrote reports. I was going to give John the whole thing and thought I might transfer the file for the video from home instead of trying to from the plane. It was too much to ask from a moving airplane. I answered all my e-mails and dictated a note to be sent to the agencies to remind them that this was a thirty-day trial.
Wanda and I decided on a second double martini, sitting back to enjoy the ride. She said, "This is really dumb; just that one time up front reading off that checklist, and I'm fine with flying. I'm scared, but not paralyzed. It's great, especially on this little plane." She looked around and asked, "Can we shut that cockpit door and join the mile high club?"
I laughed, "More like the six mile high club, I'm sure we're probably around thirty thousand feet."
"Well?"
"Patience, Wanda, we don't want to start any rumors at the charter service."
"My ass we don't, I want to start a rumor."
She got up, spoke to John while handing him some more coffee and shut the door. On the way by my seat, she was tugging her panties and pantyhose down saying, "These seats in the back are more comfortable."
We joined the club together.
We were appropriately dressed when we landed, and had even sprayed some deodorizer around the cabin. We now knew why it was in the tiny galley.
When we parked, I opened the door, let down the built in steps, helped Wanda out, and grabbed our bags. We shook hands with John, put our stuff in my car, and took off.
At home, everyone welcomed us and we ate some leftover pork chops they had. With that and a beer, holding my big babe in my arms, the world was my oyster. I never understood that saying, but it was.
When it was time for bed, Bobby said, "My guy needs to take care of a fire. As soon as he hoses it down, anyone else is welcome. Come on, Fireman, put my fire out."
We did play for a long time. By the time we were done, I was totally finished and slept snuggled up to my babe with a smile on my face.
Primary editing by Pepere
Proofing by Sagacious