A Note From Alan December 14th, 2001 ---------------

   I wrote this story long ago, or so it seems.  It was back in 1996 that I
first posted this story, and to be honest, it changed my life.  I don't
think my life would be anything like it is now if it hadn't been for the
people I met after posting this in alt.sex.stories on Usenet back in the
dark days of November of the mid-1990s.  I'm stunned that the "5 year
anniversary" of the first posting of this story has come and gone.  It
makes me wonder at how long it will be before I'm an old man squinting at
the computer screen and cursing small fonts.

   The 'net was different in the middle of the last decade of the previous
millennium.  There was less spam and less traffic.  For those of you newer
to alt.sex.stories, you could not imagine how it was back in the first days
when I started reading it in 1994.  You could post there with a real e-mail
address and not end up with your inbox full of porn spam, you could
download a header list and not have half of them scream about "free xxx
pics", you could even find more than 50 line "Bobby gets a blowjob" stories
more often than not.  Hell, I remember doing a search for "sex" on
yahoo.com using an early version of Netscape and mostly only finding
articles on gorilla genitalia.  Seriously!  Now, bordering on 2002, it is
little more than a spam-filled mess.

   But I digress.

   Many of you wondered where I disappeared to over these last few years.
The truth is, I've been lazy.  I let the stories just sit, book three still
floating in my mind.  The images of what I want to write float in and out
of my mind while I lay in bed alone at night.

   So, you ask, "Why Alan, why haven't you finished it then?" The problem
is getting myself in front of the computer to do so.  I also need to
recapture some of what made "Watching" special to so many people, and in
doing that, I decided to edit the first two books again.

   This brings us to what this "special edition" of Book One that follows
is all about.  Some of you may not like the new form of it; I toned down
the sex for one thing.  My goal was to make this something that a wider
audience could appreciate, and to modify it so that the sex scenes fit the
overall 'tone' of the book.  Not to mention I also fixed some glaring
errors that I winced at not spotting sooner.

   How much you like this version I suspect will depend on what you liked
it for originally.  If you read it for the sex, you'll be disappointed.  If
you read it for the love story, I think you'll be pleased with the
modifications I've made.

   Reading your own writing over again several years later makes you
realize how much you've grown as a writer.  If you compare the first
chapter of Book One to the last chapter of Book Two, you'll immediately see
the difference in writing style.  This was the first time I ever attempted
to write anything of this length, and I learned a hell of a lot doing so.

   I'm currently in the middle of editing Book Two, which hopefully will
appear soon in a revised state as well.  And yes, Book Three is still going
to appear -- just don't ask me when.  When it does arrive, it will be a
long one, I promise.

   Meanwhile, enjoy this.  Perhaps you've not read it for a long time;
perhaps you've never read it.  Either way, it's a story about a couple
falling in love, a story about the importance of family, and a story about
life.

   For those of you with a wife or a husband and kids, you probably have no
idea how lucky you are, or if you do know, maybe you've not spent as much
time with them as you should.  Considering we're in the middle of the
holiday season, I hope this makes you think more about your own family, and
how you can bring them closer to you.  Too many of us (myself included)
don't have the joys of marriage, or the joy of having children in our
lives. Of course there are trials, but as someone I once knew said, "Boy
it's hard, but it's a whole lot of fun too!" As I spend more time with the
children of my friends, the more I realize how important such things are in
life.

   Just remember that in the end all we have are the good times, and those
are frighteningly rare.  Enjoy them while you can.

   Merry Christmas,
Alan alanmath@brain.org http://www.asstr.org/files/Authors/Alan.Mathews/

   Original Authors Note For Watching Book One: The Meeting
-----------------------------------------------

   This is the first story that I've posted to a.s.s.  This work has taken
over a year to write.  It was written for myself, and no one else.

   You see, I write because I get a story line in my head and I can't get
it out until it's on paper, or in this case, on a computer screen.  If I
don't get it out it haunts me, floating around in the back of my head until
I'm trying to fall asleep or just waking up.  Damn annoying sometimes,
having a story line pop into your head at 1am and not being able to fall
asleep until you've let it run it's course by writing the idea down on
paper to be worked on at some later date.  Or in the case of this story,
compelling enough to drive you out of bed and in front of the computer at
3am.

   As I said, I write for myself.  I write the way I like to read.  And
it's long.  Just like my favorite books and stories are.  If you like
short, to the point,
fuck-screaming-orgasmic-mind-boggling-never-stopping-sex type stories,
you've picked the wrong story.  Sure it has sex, but (gasp!) it also has a
plot.  (At least I like to think it does.)

   Why has it taken over a year for me to get even book one out?  Well,
editing for one.  I hate it, but know it's necessary.  But the story is
better for it.  Two, I wrote it when I wasn't busy, or had an idea for the
plot line that just couldn't wait.  Sometimes it came in 50 line bursts
every other night, sometimes a chapter a night.  One memorable time was
when I wrote five chapters in one night.  Some chapters I agonized over.
Others seemed to flow from my fingertips.  Some chapters are full of pain,
some full of joy.  Just like life.

   The first words of this story were written late at night, in late
September of 1995.  My Grandfather had just had his first heart attack.
The kids were barely settling into the new school year, and I was dead
tired, laying in bed, alone, when the old memories of one of my few
schoolboy crushes came to the surface.  I do remember the name of the girl,
which, of course, has been changed.  I was eighteen, she was fourteen.  We
rode the same bus.  I was very shy (I didn't go out on my first date until
I was nearly 23), and a self admitted nerd.

   She, on the other hand, was what I would call 'normal'.  She was pretty,
and mostly matched the physical attributes of the girl named Jenny in this
story.  She caught my eye literally, and the memory stays with me even
after the years that have passed.

   She was sitting in the seat in front of me, and dropped a piece of paper
on the floor.  It drifted until it lay at my feet.  I picked it up and
handed it to her.  Our eyes locked for a second, and I froze.  She had the
kind of brown eyes that were so dark that you had to look closely to find
where the iris and pupil met.  She smiled and said thanks, and I nodded
politely, pulling my eyes away from hers.  I sat back and thought, only
being pulled out of my reverie by the bus pulling up in front of the junior
high.  (I was a Junior in High School, she an eighth grader) I watched her
leave the bus, but before she turned to climb the path to the school
entrance, she turned and our eyes met again, just for a few seconds.  Then
she turned and walked up the path.  I watched as she entered the building,
then the bus pulled away.  That was the beginning.

   For the next two years -- until I graduated, that is -- I would live for
the moments I had to sneak glances at her when she wasn't looking.  She
caught me looking once or twice, much to my embarrassment.  I never did
anything about it.  (Now you know why I call this story "Watching".)

   High School ended, I went to college, and I never saw her again.  That
was what I was thinking about that night in late September, wondering about
how my life may have turned out if I had actually spoken to her.  I was at
a low point in my life, and I wrote to try to help myself feel like there
was hope somewhere, even if it was in a fantasy world.  Before I knew it,
this story was in the preliminary stages of forming.  It soon departed from
that initial fantasy and grew into something much more important to me.  I
have no one to share this with; it deals with issues that I would most
likely be condemned for, especially with my highly religious family.  (A
religion that I don't share.) The few friends I have simply wouldn't
understand.  So I post this for you, in hopes that someone will read it,
enjoy it, and maybe even learn something from it.  Enjoy.

   Alan Mathews (alanmath@brain.org) November 1996



   Watching By Alan Mathews



   The Watching Trilogy Timeline -----------------------------

   (January 1995)

   o Book One: The Meeting begins



   Book One The Meeting ----------



   Chapter One ----------

   I heard someone crying quietly toward the back of the bus as the cold
January wind seeped in through the loose panes of the school bus windows.

   The trip home from school had taken a turn for the worse when the engine
of the old bus had finally ground to a halt.  We were stuck on a dark back
road as night fell.

   Our bus driver had left thirty minutes before to see if he could find a
phone to call for help.  Our small, poor school district wasn't even able
to afford proper maintenance of their busses, much less pay to put CB
radios in them.  No help had come, and I was beginning to fear that he may
have gotten lost in the swirling snow and encroaching darkness.

   The temperature had dropped rapidly after the sun had disappeared behind
the dense foliage of the surrounding forest, and now even the children in
jackets were beginning to shiver.  I had a heavy winter coat and was
decently comfortable thanks to the foresight of my grandmother, who had
given it to me as a Christmas present.  (One of the few presents from her
that I had ever found a use for.) I heard teeth chattering from the seat in
front of me.  Leaning forward, I peered over the back of the seat.

   One of the girls I recognized from school was shivering in the seat in
front of me in a light jacket that wouldn't keep out spring weather, much
less the deep freeze of January.

   I had noticed her before.  Hell, I had been watching her on the bus for
well over a year, sneaking glances at her when I could get away with it,
appreciating her long dark brown hair and slim form, as teenaged boys are
prone to doing to attractive members of the opposite sex.

   Of course, there are a lot of pretty girls wandering around, but
something about her was special, unique; I seemed to be drawn to her.
Something about her made me want to hold her close, to be near to her.
Perhaps it was something in her large, dark eyes that brought out the
protective instincts in me.  I had never felt that way about anyone before,
and frankly it frightened me a little.

   I had never spoken to her, although I'm certain she had caught me
looking at her once or twice.  I'm not all that talkative to anyone, much
less girls.  I suffer from the classic problem of stuttering, cold sweats,
and blushing most "shy" people face when around the opposite sex.

   Mustering up my courage, I spoke.

   "Are you cold?" I asked.

   "Just a little." she replied, looking up at me.  She was huddled in a
ball with her legs curled up beneath her, body shaking visibly from the
cold.  I caught her eyes for a moment and made up my mind.

   "Just a second." I said.  I unzipped my coat and pulled it off my
shoulders.  "Put this on." I said, holding it out to her.

   "I...I can't." she said shyly.  "Then you'll be cold, and it's your
coat."

   "Well, I can handle the cold better than you can.  If you don't get warm
soon you'll end up with hypothermia.  Then we'd need an ambulance to get
you out of here, and I'd end up giving the coat to you anyway once you
slipped into delirium." I stated, with my best attempt at a smile.

   She grinned, and reached for the coat.  "Ok, I'll take it," she said
while slipping the coat on.  "But won't you get hypothermic too, although
I'm not entirely certain what that means?"

   "Not for a while.  After all, I'm male.  Males are stronger than
females." I joked.

   "Oooooh!  Sexist pig!" She flashed me a smile and huddled up under my
coat, her teeth no longer chattering and her shivering fading slowly as she
warmed up.

   I slouched back in my seat, enjoying the afterglow of that smile.  But
after a few minutes I started to feel the cold, my body beginning to shiver
as the temperature continued to drop.  I managed to keep my teeth from
chattering for a few minutes, but soon I could no longer contain it, no
matter how hard I gritted my teeth.

   Her head popped over the top of the seat back, and seeing my obviously
chilled state, gave me a concerned look.

   "Are you all right?" she asked, a concerned look on her face.

   "Fine, fine." I said, making a superhuman effort to stop my shivering. I
failed.

   She looked unconvinced.  "Well...  maybe we can share it, that way we'd
both be warm.  It's big enough I think." she said, looking nervously at me.


   "Are you sure?" I asked, uncertain.  It certainly was big enough.  It
was slightly to big for me, even on my 6'2", 210 pound frame.  While it
reached slightly above my knees it looked like a long dress on her, as she
was barely over five feet in height.

   "Yes." she said and got up, moving to my seat.  She took off the coat,
and all business, told me to get up.

   "Now, if you put it on and leave the zipper open..." I followed her
instructions and we ended up comfortably situated, me with my arms in the
sleeves of the coat, her huddled up against my side with the excess
material wrapped around her.  She moved a little closer to me, sharing body
heat.

   "What's your name?" I asked.

   "Jenny.  What's yours?"

   "Alex." I replied, trying to relax; difficult to do with someone you've
had a mild crush on for over a year huddled against your side.

   "Hmmm, Alex.  You're a comfortable pillow." she said, resting her head
against my shoulder.

   I laughed, and the conversation continued from there.  We talked about
school, and people we knew.  Well, actually, she talked, I listened.  I
didn't much know anyone at our school, despite my going to the same school
district from kindergarten up to my current grade.

   "What are you going to do after you graduate?" she asked.

   "I was thinking about going to college...  there's a pretty good school
down in New Mexico I was planning on going to.  After that, hopefully a
good job.  I really just want to get out of this town.  What are you
thinking about doing after high school?"

   "I have no idea what I'm going to do tomorrow, much less three or four
years from now." she sighed.

   "You have plenty of time.  Don't worry about it.  Don't push yourself
into anything, pick something you like." I suggested.

   "Maybe." she said noncommittally.

   We spoke for a few minutes longer, until the conversation finally died
out into a comfortable silence.

   "Boy, I'm tired." she yawned.

   "Go ahead and sleep." I said.

   "Thanks, but then I couldn't keep the coat closed." She paused and
considered.  "Hold still." she said, moving herself until she was sitting
on my lap leaning against my chest.  She grabbed my arms and wrapped them
around her again.  I was surprised at her boldness, but it felt
surprisingly good, feeling her warm body pressed against mine.  She managed
to zip the coat up somewhat, keeping us pressed closely together whether we
wanted to or not.

   "There.  Now it'll stay closed." she said, shifting slightly in my lap.
I said nothing, too stunned to do more than sit there.

   She rested her head on my shoulder again, her soft hair brushing my
cheek.  She sighed, and a few minutes later her breathing evened out to the
whisper of her even breathing.

   I watched her sleep, the ghostly light from the bus window illuminating
her face.  I knew that I had a crush on this girl whom I barely knew, I had
for months.  And here I was, holding her as if I had known her for years.
In fact, it had been the only real physical contact I had had with anyone
in years.  I was in shock, to put it mildly, but managed to decide not to
overanalyze the situation and just enjoy it while it lasted.  I hugged her
tighter against me, relishing the heat of her body contrasting to the
freezing air of the bus.  Then I drifted off into sleep as well.

   End Chapter One

   Chapter Two -----------



   I awoke to the glare of headlights shining through the grime covered
windows and the muffled creak of tires rolling through fresh snow.  The
driver had managed to get through, evidently.  I found myself almost
wishing that he hadn't.

   I gently shook Jenny, and she slowly came awake and looked up at me.

   "Good morning." she said with a lazy smile, and stretched as much as she
could in the confines of my coat.

   "Hardly morning.  The new bus just pulled up, finally."

   "To bad, I was just getting comfortable." I could tell she was smiling,
even without being able to see her face.

   I chuckled, and she slowly got up.  I thought I had never seen anything
so beautiful as her standing in the dim light of the bus, shivering in the
cold, hair slightly out of place from her hour or so of sleep in my arms.

   "We'd better go." I said, noticing that the bus was now nearly empty,
everyone else having boarded the other bus.  She nodded, and we clambered
down the steps of the old bus, walking slowly over to the new bus together.


   We boarded the bus, the powdery snow already having left a thin coat of
snow on our heads.  We took separate seats again, her in front of me, as
always.  We rode until her stop in silence.

   When she got up to leave, she paused for a moment and leaned toward me.

   "Thanks for letting me share your jacket." she whispered.

   "You're welcome.  You kept it at just the right temperature." I grinned.
She grinned back, and suddenly leaned forward and kissed me lightly on the
cheek.

   "Bye." she whispered again, and climbed off the bus.  I watched her run
toward her house, rushing to get out of the cold again.



   ****



   I spent the couple of weeks thinking about what had happened, trying to
figure out how I had somehow fallen in love with a fourteen year old girl.
Yes, I felt I loved her, no matter how odd it seemed that a person could
love someone after a single hour of holding them.  Don't ask me to explain
it, I couldn't explain it myself, much less anyone else.

   She was four years younger than I was, for god sake!  Four years might
not make much difference to someone in their twenties, but a senior dating
an eighth grader was considered criminal by many, dubious at best.  My
father was among the first category, despite the six year age difference
between my mother and father when they were married.  I was sure that
Jenny's parents also fitted the "criminal" category.  The morals of people
seem to run in all the same directions in a small town, and the one we
lived in was no exception.

   I still saw her every day on the bus, but now when she saw me she would
smile at me and say hello.  I began to watch her more, and she caught me
more often, each time greeted with a warm smile.  I started to recognize
her moods, when she was happy, when she had had a bad day...  it was
driving me crazy thinking about her all the time.  I couldn't go on the way
I was going.  I knew I had to do something about it, but was stopped by the
fear of the reactions of her or my parents, as well as the general public.

   Hell, I was just scared that she didn't feel the same way I did and only
saw me as a friend, or possibly just the nice guy who shared a coat with
her once.

   I was buried in a book one day when Jenny boarded the bus.  I didn't
notice her until I happened to glance in her direction.

   The look on her face tugged at my heart.  She was curled up in one of
the seats across from me, looking alone and forlorn.  She had her knees
pulled up to her chest, head resting on her arms, eyes hidden from view.  I
could tell she was very close to crying just by looking at her.

   Knowing what it would look like but finally not giving a damn one way or
another, I stepped across the aisle and slid into the seat beside her.  I
gently placed a hand on her shoulder and asked, "Jenny?  Are you all
right?" I could feel her body shaking under my hand.  The shaking grew
worse as my words registered and she fell apart completely, loud sobs
wracking her body.  I slid closer with concern.  She wrapped her arms
around my neck and buried her face in my chest, her tears soaking through
my thin cotton shirt in seconds.  I was surprised, but reflexes kicked in;
I picked her up and wrapped my arms around her, trying to comfort her.

   "What am I going to do?" she sobbed.  "I can't go home, not now...  not
now that she knows."

   "Don't worry, it'll be fine.  We'll work something out." I said, not
knowing what she was talking about, but being more concerned about getting
her calmed down than dealing with what her problem was at the moment.

   "But how?  What will I do?"

   "What will we do." I said firmly.  "I'm not leaving you like this." I
definitely wasn't.  I wouldn't leave anyone in the state she was in, much
less someone that I felt as strongly for as I did her.

   "Why?  You don't even know me...  if you knew, you wouldn't even want to
be near me, much less help."

   "I've helped you before, haven't I?  Trust me.  We'll deal with whatever
is wrong." (Taking on a lot for someone I barely knew?  Sure, but I've
always been a soft one for someone in tears.  It's gotten me in a lot of
trouble over the years.  But usually it ends up being worth it.  In this
case, it certainly was.)

   She didn't reply, but her sobs began to slow some, and soon faded to an
occasional gasping shudder.  She stayed huddled in my arms as if trying to
avoid the world.



   We rode the rest of the way to my house like that.  When we approached
her stop I waved the bus driver on, thankful that Jenny's younger sister
wasn't on.  Within a few minutes the bus slowed to a stop in front of the
driveway to my house, and I helped Jenny up.  She got shakily to her feet,
gripping my arm for both physical and mental support.

   Ignoring the odd looks from the driver and other passengers, we climbed
down the steps of the bus, and walked slowly to the front door.  Unlocking
it, we stepped into the relatively warm living room from the cold January
air.

   I led her to the overstuffed couch that sat near the large fireplace,
and she slumped into it, staring blankly out of the bay window and into the
woods beyond.  I quickly piled a few logs onto the few embers left of the
morning fire and soon the room was filled with warm flickering light.
Night was beginning to fall in the early January fashion, making the
shadows of the furniture grow slowly longer.

   "Just a second, I'm going to make us a little hot chocolate." I said.
She didn't respond and just kept looking out the window.  I looked at her
worriedly, and hurried to the nearby kitchen.  I was a bit nervous about
having her in my house, so few people had been there in the years prior to
then, but at the moment I was more worried about her than about how I felt.
I quickly microwaved some water and added the instant cocoa mix.  Not as
good as homemade, but I was in a hurry.

   When I walked back into the living room I saw that little had changed,
other than her gaze had shifted from the window to the fire.  I sunk slowly
on to the couch beside her, balancing the nearly full mugs in my hands.  I
offered one to her, but she didn't seem to notice, so I took her hands and
wrapped them around the mug.  Her fingers were cold, and she made no move
to drink.

   "Just drink a little, please?  You might feel better." she turned
towards me, and I felt a tearing sensation in my chest as I saw the look in
her eyes, wondering what could make someone feel so alone.  But she took a
sip, then a long drink as it warmed her insides.

   "Look, I meant it when I said 'we', Jenny.  Whatever is wrong, I'll help
you through it."

   "Help me?  If you knew what this was about, you'd hate me...  everyone
else who knows does.  My Mom won't let me come back because of it..."

   'Ah,' I thought to myself.  'No wonder she can't go home, her parents
are angry with her.'

   "I doubt that.  I've heard and read a lot of weird things in my time,
and I've never hated anyone for it.  Just tell me and see."

   "NO!" she almost yelled.  "You're the only person who...  has been nice
to me.  No one at school...  and especially not her..." she trailed off.  I
was wondering who "her" was, but I obviously couldn't ask her now, not
while she was in this state of near panic.

   "Ok, ok," I said soothingly.  "You don't have to tell me anything." She
at least relaxed somewhat upon hearing this.

   "Well, since you say you can't go home, you'll just have to stay here
for a while." I said matter of factly.

   "You'd let me stay?" she said hopefully, a glimmer of hope shining in
her eyes.  "What about your parents?"

   "Well, Mom...  left...  years ago, and my Dad's out of town for a few
weeks.  Even if you need to stay longer than that, I can arrange it.  My
Dad pretty much leaves me alone, and since he's only here about a month
total a year..."

   Her immediate problem solved, Jenny seemed to liven up a little.

   "Thank you so much, Alex." she said and hugged me.  I basked in the glow
of her hug.  "Ok, now that that's taken care of!" I said cheerfully, that
simple contact with her raising my spirits considerably.  "Let's get
something to eat and turn in early.  I think we both need it." I stated as
she gave a wide yawn.

   "Yeah, sure." she said sleepily, the warm cocoa having it's desired
effect of relaxing her a bit.

   "I'll go dig out some leftovers or something, then."

   "Let me help, I'm at least good at using a microwave." she smiled, and I
was glad to see she was cheering up.

   "I'm not sure about this microwave.  My Dad bought a new one after he
blew up the old one, and it's pretty complicated."

   "Blew up the old one?" she asked, wide eyed.

   "Yeah, he wanted hot apple pie, and forgot that the tin was made of
aluminum.  Walked away to read in his study, and left it until he was
reminded when the smoke alarm went off." I was trying to keep a straight
face, but her expression was to much.  I burst out laughing.

   Her open-mouthed look of surprise faded.  "You're joking!" she yelled,
and punched me lightly in the shoulder.  I continued to laugh as I held my
shoulder, and she started laughing as well.  She jumped on me and it turned
into a free-for-all, my six foot two frame easily holding her off.  We
ended up a giggling, laughing tangle on the couch, her on top of me, my
hands gripping her wrists.  We locked eyes, and froze.

   We were stuck like that for a few seconds.  Then I cleared my throat and
sat up, easing her slowly back onto the couch.

   "Yes, well, let's get dinner.  I'm sure you can operate the microwave
without blowing anything up." I grinned, trying to cover up how flustered I
actually was, and the trembling I felt inside at being so near to her.

   "We'll see." she said, giving me another playful punch in the arm.

   I tried to help her, but she insisted on figuring out the microwave
herself.  My Dad had destroyed the old one, but not by blowing it up.  He
managed to somehow spill a cup of coffee into the innards of the microwave.
It was an old one, and rather than have it repaired, we replaced it.  The
new one, as I said, was complex.  When she figured it out within ten
minutes, I was impressed.  I had played with it for half an hour, and still
had to look in the manual in the end.

   She heated up some leftover spaghetti while I hunted around for the
silverware.  With one person in the house most of the dishes tend to go
unwashed, and silverware disappears over time.  I managed to hunt down two
chipped plates and a couple of forks by the time she had finished, and we
sat down to eat.

   "How can you handle living way out here, alone so often?" she asked
between bites.

   "You get used to it.  I've been doing it since I was ten.  It's nice,
you don't have any parents telling you what to do, when to clean up your
room, or what to wear."

   "Don't you get lonely?  I mean, it can't be easy to be away from your
friends, and have no one to talk to."

   "I don't have many friends." I said flatly, trying to keep my voice free
of emotion.  Friends?  Me?  Ha!  But I wasn't going to tell her that.  "If
you haven't noticed, I don't talk much." I took another bite of spaghetti
and smiled.

   "Yeah, I noticed, but I figured that you just didn't want to talk to a
bunch of kids years younger than you.  Besides, you're talking now, aren't
you?"

   "Yes, well, I know you better now.  It's easier to talk to someone you
know.  Otherwise, I just don't say anything.  It's easier that way."

   "Easier, yes, but it sure makes it hard to make friends, especially
girlfriends." She said, spearing a meatball.

   "Well, that would probably explain why I've never had a girlfriend,
wouldn't it?" I forced a light tone into my voice as I looked down at my
plate, swirling the strands of spaghetti around my fork.

   "You've never had a girlfriend?" she said, incredulously.  "How old are
you anyway?"

   "Eighteen."

   "You need to get out more." she said bluntly.

   I shrugged.  "I'm happy the way I am."

   "Every lonely minute of it?"

   "I'm not lonely...  just alone." I said defensively.

   She sighed, and continued to eat.

   I finished quickly, and sat watching her eat.  She would wind the
spaghetti around the fork like a little kid, and then scoop it into her
mouth.  After each bite she would wipe her mouth daintily on a paper towel.
She looked up at me.

   "What's wrong?" she asked innocently, giving me a questioning look.

   "Nothing." I said quickly.  "I was just thinking about how long it's
been since anyone besides myself or my father had been in this house."

   "How long has it been?"

   "Oh, I'd say seven, eight years." I said offhandedly, leaning back in my
chair.

   "That long?"

   I nodded, and noticed that her plate was empty.

   "Want a refill?" I asked.

   "No thanks, I'm full." she said, patting her stomach.  I got up and
grabbed the plates.

   "Wait a sec, and I'll grab you some towels so you can take a shower
before you go to bed." I said.

   "That'd be great." she smiled, looking haggard, at least as haggard as a
fourteen year old can look.



   I tossed the dishes in the sink and walked back to the dining room where
she was sitting with her head on her arms resting on the table.  I paused
for a moment, enjoying the scene and the contrast of the scarred surface of
the light pine table against her dark hair and fair, pale skin.  I moved
over to her and touched her on the shoulder.  She gasped in surprise and
almost jumped out of the chair.

   "Easy!  It's just me." She relaxed.  "Come on, I'll show you where
everything is." She nodded and followed me.

   I climbed the stairs with her close behind me.  Stopping at the
cupboards where I kept the clean towels, I pulled out a couple for her.
Then I headed for my Dad's room.

   "You can sleep here.  It's my Dads room, but he won't be around for a
while.  We have a guest room too, but it hasn't been used in a long time.
What I don't use, I don't clean." I grinned.  "Besides, this bed is a lot
more comfortable."

   "It'll be fine." she said, looking around the room.  I walked over to
the chest of drawers and pulled out one of my Dad's T-shirts.

   "This should work for something to sleep in." I handed it to her, and
she held it up against her chest.

   "I see your Dad is as big as you are." she said, as it drooped to well
below her knees.

   "Actually, he's a couple inches taller." I said as I led her across the
room to the master bath and opened the door.

   "Take a shower, bath, whatever you like.  My Dad always hated running
out of hot water, so we have five times as much as we've ever needed.
Don't worry about running out.  Oh, and toss your clothes out, I'll put
them in the washer so you have something clean to wear tomorrow.  We'll
worry about getting you more clothes later."

   "OK, Thanks."

   "You're welcome." I smiled.  "I'll be in my room if you need anything.
It's just down the hall, first door on the left." She nodded and walked in,
shutting the door.  I wandered back to my room, looking for a book to take
my mind off the current situation.

   Five minutes later I walked back into the room and grabbed her clothes,
which were lying on the floor just outside the bathroom door.  Wandering
down to the laundry room in the basement, I chucked her clothes into the
washer, added detergent and started it up, slamming the lid and returning
to my book.

   I lost track of time, and it was nearly eight thirty when I heard Jenny
walk in.  I looked up and immediately my mind went numb.

   Jenny was, in a word, beautiful.  Her long, freshly brushed dark hair
was glistening from the shower, and I caught a whiff of the soft lavender
soap that my mother used to use that she must have found somehow.  The long
white T-shirt billowed around her, falling from there to a few inches above
her knees where it revealed the rest of her legs.  I felt a blush coming
on, and tried to fight it with little success.

   "Something wrong?" she asked, leaning against the door frame.

   "Oh, nothing, nothing." I stammered.  "What can I do for you?"

   "How do you work the heater?" she said.  "It's a little cold in there,
and I wanted to turn up the heat a bit."

   "Oh, it's on full.  My Dad might have planned ahead for hot water, but
he underestimated how cold it could get around here.  I'll get you an
electric blanket."

   "Ok, that'll work." she said with a shrug.

   Walking past her to the hall closet, I tried to shake the image of her
from my mind.  I grabbed the blanket, and she followed me back to her room.
It was amazing how quickly I had come to think of it as 'her' room.

   "I can put it on, no problem." she insisted.

   "Yeah, but you'd never find the outlet.  It's a little tricky."

   She shrugged an motioned me towards the bed.  I pulled back the
comforter and spread the blanket out on top of the top sheet, and then
pulled the comforter back over the blanket.  Grabbing the control box and
the plug I got down on my hands and knees, fishing under the bed for the
outlet that was built into the wall behind the headboard.  I fished for a
few second, cussing mentally to myself at my Dad for putting the bed in
front of the only outlet in the room.

   "See, I told you it was hard to find." I smiled weakly up at her, then
finally found it and plugged it in.  "There." I said triumphantly, pushing
the plug home.  Turning on the blanket, I pulled back the covers.

   "Climb in, and I'll tuck you in." I said.  She smiled at me and climbed
into bed slowly, giving me a flash of leg that dazzled my eyes and almost
made me loose what little composure I had left.  Pulling the blankets up
over her, I tucked her in tight.  "Comfortable?" I asked.

   "Very." she said sleepily, and yawned.

   "OK, I'll see you in the morning then." I walked to the door and turned
out the lights, drawing the door closed until it was open just enough to
let a little light from the hall in.

   Walking slowly back to my room, I decided to skip the shower.  I was
drained from the day's events, and I nearly fell asleep while stepping out
of my clothes.  I opted to wear the bottoms of an old pair of pajamas,
considering the company in the house.  I turned out the light, climbed into
bed, and fell asleep almost immediately.

   *****



   "Alex, can I sleep in here?" a voice said, ringing through my dreams as
the light clicked on.

   "Huh?" I sat up groggily, blinded by the bedroom light.  "What did you
say?" I could see her blush even through the blinding light.

   "Well, I was wondering if, well...  I don't really want to be alone..."
her voice seemed to choke off.  She seemed near tears.

   "Bad dream huh?" She nodded.  "Sure, sure." I said, still not quite
thinking straight, still trying to shake my sleepiness off.  Looking back,
I don't know what I would have done if I was fully awake when she asked me
that.  But I wasn't, so I said, "Climb on in."

   "You...  don't mind?" she said hesitantly, taking a step towards the
bed.

   "No, I don't mind.  It's cold, come on.  Turn out the light first,
though." I added, still squinting against the light.  She turned off the
light, and I was blinded again as my semi-adjusted eyes had to adjust to
full darkness again.  I heard her padding towards me, and then a squeak of
bedsprings as she sat down.  She leaned back to lie down, and discovered a
quirk of my bed.

   "Woah!" she squealed as she rolled toward me, then bumped against me,
the front of her body pressed against my side.  "Interesting bed." she
said, breathing hard from the adrenaline rush.

   "Yeah, fascinating what happens to a mattress when you sleep in the same
spot every night for fifteen years." I chuckled.

   "I like the result, though." she said, laying her head on my chest and
draping her arm across my stomach.  "I don't know how I'm going to sleep
with that heart of yours beating all night long, though." she giggled.

   "I sure hope it'll keep beating, even if it keeps you up." I joked.

   "Don't bet on it." I could almost see her grin even in the dark.

   "Maybe I made a mistake here!" I said, feigning terror.

   "Don't worry, I won't kill you in your sleep...  but I might do
something else."

   "Like what?" I asked, interested.

   "Like THIS!" she cried, and tickled me in the stomach.  I rolled over in
uncontrolled laughter, and she followed.  Once again, I don't know what I
would have done if I had been fully awake, but...  I grabbed her arm, and
quickly but gently pulled her hand away, quickly twisting myself to face
her, counterattacking with a tickle to her side.  She rolled away laughing,
then fought back.  We wrestled for a while, then she ended up on top again,
both of us breathing heavily.

   "We seem to end up in this position a lot." I said.

   "Probably because I always win." she said triumphantly.

   "Ok, so what did you win?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow at her, even
though we could hardly see one another in the dim light from the hallway.



   Then she kissed me.



   I was caught by surprise, but quickly responded with equal intensity.  A
few seconds later she broke the kiss, both of us breathing hard, but this
time not just from physical activity.

   "What was that?" I gasped.

   "My prize."

   "Really?" I said, considering.  "I think you're forgetting something."

   "What?"

   "I came in second place." This time, I kissed her.  I felt her jump
slightly in surprise, then her tongue came into play, pushing between my
lips and dancing across the roof of my mouth, then entwined with my mine.
She started to subtly grind her body against mine.  My hands slid down to
her waist, holding her gently as we continued the kiss.  A few seconds
later she relaxed, letting herself settle against my side, letting the kiss
slide into a warm, easy motion.  Finally she broke away, settling back and
laying her head on my chest.  I hugged her against me, feeling the rapid
in-out of her breath slow as she recovered.  We lay there for a few
minutes, resting, while I slowly ran my hands up and down her back.

   "How are you feeling?" I asked tenderly, pushing strands of her hair
back from her forehead.

   "Sleepy, exhausted, and happy." she murmured.

   "Quite a list." I murmured back.  She just lifted her head and kissed my
chest, then settled back down, holding me like I was the last thing keeping
her from drowning in the ocean of life.

   I lay there, running my fingers through her fine, straight hair, and
reflected on all that had happened that day, and the weeks before.  I still
hadn't figured out how I had managed to come from longing for her whenever
I thought of her to her laying with me in my bed in only a few hours.  But
who was I to question my good fortune?  It was about time that I had some
type of good luck.

   Then I started to worry.  What would happen if her parents came looking
for her, or called the police when she didn't show up at home?  I was
significantly older than she was.  What would they do if one of us let slip
that we'd slept in the same bed all night?  After all, I was eighteen, and
people being what they were...  My heartbeat quickened in panic.  What if
she woke up in the morning and regretted what had happened?  I was actually
considering getting up and calling her parents and having them come pick
her up.  And then she wriggled in my arms, waking from her half-sleep.

   "Alex, is there something wrong?" she asked, concerned, feeling how
tense my muscles were beneath her.

   "Nothing." I responded.  "Just thinking."

   "About what?"

   "What's going to happen when your parents call the police and have me
arrested."

   "What!" she pulled out of my arms and turned to face me, eyes wide.
"What do you mean, 'arrested'?"

   "It's just that I think that most people would think the worst if they
knew we were here together like this."

   "I don't _care_ what the idiots who made up that law think.  I know I
like what happened, and I intend to continue to be with you." her eyes
flashed angrily, and then faded.  "That is, if you want me to." she added
softly, looking into my eyes.

   "Want you to?  Of course I want you to...  I'm just worried."

   "How can they arrest you if they don't know what happened or where I'm
at?  I'm not going to tell them."

   "Okay, I trust you.  But can you do one thing for me?  Call your parents
and tell them that you're ok and staying with a friend?"

   A look of fear washed over her face, her eyes brimming with tears.  "I
can't do that!  They'd...  they'd..."

   "Easy." I said, not wanting to get her any more upset.  "Can you just
call an aunt, or something?  Then they can pass on the word."

   "But what if they trace the call somehow?" she said.  I thought that was
a little paranoid, but hey, you can never be to careful.

   "Don't worry.  I know a few tricks from some...  earlier activities I
was involved in a few years ago.  They won't be able to trace it."

   "Okay.  I'll do it, if you want me to." she hugged me, then gave me
another deep kiss.

   "You sure know how to change the subject, don't you?" I said after
coming up for air.

   "Do I?" she asked innocently and sliding up to give me a quick peck on
the lips, then snuggling up again, her head tucked under my chin.

   I sighed, pulling the covers up tighter around us to ward off the chill,
my first lesson in learning never to argue with a woman complete.  I
settled back into enjoying her presence, not knowing how long I'd have her
in my life.  I felt her breath disturbing the hairs on my chest, a tickling
sensation that was yet another new experience for me.  She fell asleep
quickly, her exhaustion catching up to her.  I raised myself up slightly
and looked down at her, lying peacefully in my arms.

   You don't know true loneliness until you've been close to someone after
all you've ever known is being alone.  Jenny and I were closer than I had
ever been to anyone, despite our short amount of time together, and now I
could see how lonely a life I had led before she had stumbled into it.  I
didn't know how I would deal with it after she left.

   I loved her.  I came to that conclusion and accepted it, no matter how
silly or sudden it may have seemed to anyone else.  She was part of my
life, the only person that had been in it for a long time.  I sighed and
brushed her hair back from her forehead and ran my hand across skin of her
cheek, tracing the graceful arc of her jaw.  I lay my head next to hers and
eventually fell asleep.

   End Chapter Two

   Chapter Three -------------



   I awoke the next morning to the sun shining though the blinds on the
window beside my bed.  It was one of those crystal clear but freezing cold
days, the type only the northwestern states can provide.

   It was cold enough in the room for me to see my breath, but I was lucky
enough to have a delightfully soft bed warmer cuddled up next to me.

   Lying there, I appreciated her warmth.  Running my hand over her
shoulder and down her torso, I let my hand rest on her stomach, feeling her
breath move in and out.  She fascinated me like no one I had ever known.
Not that I knew many people.

   Her lips were slightly parted; I kissed her lightly.  Eventually she
kissed me back slowly coming out of sleep.  By the time we separated she
was blinking sleepily, smiling up at me.  I smiled back.

   "Good morning." she said and stretched, breathing deeply in the cold
air.

   "Definitely good, I think."

   "I think so, too." she agreed, moving closer to me and rested her head
on my chest.  She started to play with my sparse chest hair, roughing it up
and then smoothing it out again.  "Let's just stay here all day."

   "I like that idea." I smiled.  "But we'll have to get up sometime."

   "As long as it's not right now." she sighed, closing her eyes.  We lay
there for a few minutes, enjoying one another's company.  My mind wandered
to the question that had been bothering me me since she kissed me the night
before.

   "Jenny, you don't have to answer this, but I need to ask you."

   "What?" she asked.  I felt her muscles tense.

   "Why are you here?  I mean, why did you stay?  You could have left..." I
sighed.  "What it boils down to is this: why did you kiss me last night?"

   She was silent for a moment, staring at the half closed blinds on the
window.

   "I kissed you because you're the only one who has ever seemed to care
about me, or what happened to me.  You gave me your coat, you comforted me.
And if that wasn't enough, you gave me a place to stay.  You're just so
kind and I just felt I had to repay you for all you had done somehow." she
trailed off.  Then I realized the implications of her words.

   "You mean last night...  all of it, was just payment?" I asked slowly,
anger and pain rising in my chest, threatening to choke off my throat.
"Here I was, thinking you actually felt something for me, and all it
was..." I couldn't think about it anymore.  I jumped out of bed, only
pausing long enough to grab my robe, then walked swiftly out of the room
and down the stairs.  Sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace, I
stared at the cold ashes of the fire, shivering in the freezing air.

   All I could think about was her, my mind buzzing with thoughts of last
night, not being able to believe that all of what had happened had no real
love in it.  It was just pity for some lonely nice guy who had never been
kissed before, much less had a girlfriend.  Now something I had cherished,
even for just that short time, was gone, taking her with it.

   I heard the bed squeak upstairs, then the pad of feet on the hardwood of
the stairs.  I closed my eyes and put my head in my hands as she approached
the couch, not wanting to look at her, not wanting her to see the pain and
the tears in my eyes.  She stopped a few feet behind me and stood there
silently hunting for the right words to say.  I didn't give her the chance.

   "Why?" I asked her.  "Why must everyone who ever gets close to me have
some other reason for being there?" I raised my head to stare at the wall
as tears blurred my eyes.  "No one really cares.  My Dad doesn't, we barely
speak to each other even when he is here.  My Mom didn't.  My relatives?
They don't even like having me around, like I'm some burden to them.  You
don't care either.  I let someone in and they leave, or hurt me in one way
or another.  People wonder why I don't have friends.  This is why.  It's
just not worth the pain."

   I heard a sniff behind me.  I turned to see her standing behind me in my
father's old robe, tears running down her face.

   "I didn't mean it the way it came out!" she sobbed.  "I do like you, a
lot.  I've had a, I guess you could call it a crush on you for a long time,
and then all this happened.  It just seemed so right.  I didn't mean to
hurt you.  I'll get my things and leave." she turned and ran back up the
stairs.

   I was numb for a few moments as her words sank in.  I considered what
she had said.  If she really meant what she said, it meant I had been a
total ass, jumping to conclusions because I was so sure that anyone who got
close to me would only hurt me sooner or later.i

   Getting up, I climbed the stairs.  I could hear her crying and followed
the sound to my room.

   I couldn't see her when I walked in the door and looked around for the
source of the sobs.  I found her huddled in a corner, the robe pulled
tightly around her.  I walked over to her.

   "Jenny?" I said gently.  She didn't respond.  "I'm sorry for what I
said. I misunderstood.  Please don't leave."

   She looked up at me in surprise, her eyes red from crying.  "You want me
to stay?"

   "Yes.  You're...  very special to me." I said with difficulty.  "You are
the only one who's ever actually wanted to touch me, or be near to me for
as long as I can remember.  I hadn't even had so much as a pat on the
shoulder in over a year before you shared my coat.  When you've been alone
as long as I have, you become afraid of letting anyone near you.  I let you
in against my better judgment.  I've been attracted to you since the first
day I noticed you when you climbed aboard that bus almost two years ago,
but was afraid of what would happen if I talked to you, what you would
think, what others would think.  What I'm trying to say Jenny is that I
think I love you."

   "You what?" she said in shock, looking up at me with her face streaked
with tears.  I collapsed against the wall and slid down until I was sitting
a few feet away from her.

   "I...  love you.  Don't ask me how I could come to love you in such a
short time, but I have." I said while staring at the floor, afraid to look
at her.  Afraid of rejection.

   "Really?" she got up and sat down next to me.  "You love me?" The tone
of her voice was was a mix of amazement and disbelief.

   "Yes." I sighed, finally looking at her, expecting to see rejection and
incredulity.  Instead she started to cry again, wrapping her arms around me
and burying her face in my chest.  "Thank you." she sobbed.

   I hugged her to me, amazed but happy to not have been rejected.  I
stroked her back, tears dripping out of my eyes and soaking into her hair.

   "So you'll stay?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

   "Stay?  I couldn't have left if I wanted to.  I don't know where you put
my clothes." she said through the tears.  I tried to keep my face straight,
but I couldn't help myself and burst out laughing.  She joined me and soon
we were a laughing, crying heap in the corner of the room.  I never wanted
it to end.



   *****



   Fifteen minutes later, she was still cuddled up in my arms, still
sitting in that same corner.  It was cold and uncomfortable, but neither of
us wanted to move and break the warmth and love flowing through our
embrace. When we both began to shiver despite our shared body warmth, I
decided it was time to move.

   "What do you say we get up and catch a quick shower, and then eat
breakfast?" I asked her.

   "Sounds good to me." She hopped up, and I followed.

   "You get take the first shower.  I need to toss your clothes into the
dryer so you have something more to wear than just that ratty old robe."

   "What, don't you think I look beautiful?" she said, doing her best to
pose provocatively.

   "Well, when you wear it that way..."

   "If I wore it like this in public I'd be arrested for indecent
exposure." she cut me off and grinned.

   "I'd visit you in prison." I said, hugging her against me.  We kissed. I
held the embrace for a few seconds.

   "I love you too." she whispered into my ear, then ran off in the
direction of the master bathroom, her hair flying out behind her.

   I stood there, stunned.  I knew she meant it.  I could sense that she
did.  I almost danced my way to the basement.  Tossing her clothes into the
dryer, I ran back upstairs.  I got a fire going, stoking it high with wood,
trying to beat back the cold in the house.  After I had a good roaring fire
going, I headed upstairs to see if Jenny was finished yet.

   I could hear the water running as I approached the bathroom; I sat on
the bed, waiting for her to finish.

   Five minutes later the water was still running.  Finally I walked up to
the door and knocked, yelling playfully above the sound of rushing water,
"Hey you, fish girl!  Some of us are freezing out here and would like
showers too!"

   Apparently she had heard me, as I heard the shower door slide open.  A
few seconds later, the door opened, revealing Jenny in a manner of dress,
or rather lack of it, that made my jaw drop open, my face flushing bright
red.

   Jenny noted my look, obviously restrained an urge to laugh, and said,
"Well?  Do I look like a fish to you?"

   I tried to say "Certainly not!" but what came out was more like,
"Unganagah" as my mouth was refusing to work correctly.

   She giggled.  "Alex, you didn't strike me as a prude." she said, her
tone of voice obviously teasing.

   I finally managed to stammer something.  "I'm not a prude, I'm just
surprised is all."

   She sighed.  "Alex, if we're going to live here together, and if you
really mean what you said about loving me, why should I worry about what I
wear or don't wear around you?"

   I was quickly learning that Jenny had no idea what "body shyness" and
"modesty" meant.

   "I'm not complaining Jenny, this is just rather sudden, and, umm..."

   "You mean you've never seen anyone nude before." she stated flatly.

   "Umm, no, not really." I admitted, blushing.

   "Then it's time you learned that nudity doesn't always imply sex.
Sometimes skin is just skin."

   I nodded dumbly.

   "So," she continued, "Come in here with me, or stay out, but I'm
freezing!" She held out her hand to me.  I took it hesitantly, and she
started to pull me into the bathroom.  I gave little resistance, my mind
still not quite fitting around the attitudes of this person who had just
stumbled into my life.

   With the bathroom door closed, we were immersed in a steam bath.  As I
soon learned, Jenny liked her showers scaldingly hot.  She walked over to
the shower and climbed back in, stepping under the shower nozzle.  The
water slicked back her hair, and she turned to look at me.

   "So are you going to come in or are you just going to watch?" she asked.

   "Uh, I'm not sure." I mumbled, trying to keep from blushing again.  She
sighed and looked up at the ceiling as if thinking 'What am I going to do
with this guy?', then stepped out from the shower, and gave me a hug,
quickly soaking the clothes I wore.

   "Now," she said firmly, "You either sit there in your wet chilly
clothes, or you come join me in the nice hot shower.  I don't bite and I
won't laugh at you.  So come on."

   I stood there for a moment, then giving in to her looks and prodding,
undressed slowly and shyly.

   As she promised, she didn't laugh, though she did give me an appraising
look up and down.  Apparently I met her standards since she smiled and
pulled me into the shower with her.  I quickly learned that having someone
to wash your back in the shower was a pleasant experience, and ask she
said, nudity didn't always mean sex.  Even if the person in the shower is
the most beautiful person you've ever seen.

   A few minutes later we stepped out of the shower.  We dried each other
off, and I tossed the towels in the customary corner of the bathroom to be
picked up whenever I got around to doing a load of laundry.

   "I see I'm going to have to house train you." she said, eyeing the
sizable stack of mildew covered towels.  I shrugged and walked out the door
and turning into my room and began to get dressed while she stood watching
me.  It's amazing how quickly body shyness can disappear around the right
woman.

   "Where are my clothes?  I can't just walk around nude all day." she said
impatiently.

   "Why not?  I prefer my women to be nude and barefoot.  Makes them easier
to manage." I said, fighting to keep a straight face while stepping into a
pair of jeans.  I could almost hear her teeth grinding from across the
room. I guffawed as I turned and saw the expression on her face.

   "That's twice I got you." I laughed.  I stumbled as I tried to pull up
my pants and fell backwards onto the bed, still laughing.

   Up until then she had just stood there glowering at me, but when I fell
over her face melted into a grin.  She walked over and lay down beside me.

   "You may be a clumsy sexist pig, but I still love you." She laughed and
kissed my cheek.  She rested her head on her arm and looked at me.  I gazed
back, aglow inside at her saying she loved me, memorizing every detail of
her face.

   My eyes drifted into hers and stopped.  We stared at each other,
enjoying the closeness and the quiet of the moment.  Then my stomach
rumbled, breaking the silence.

   "I guess we'd better go get something to eat." she said, smirking and
looking at my stomach.

   "And get your clothes." I reminded her.

   "Yes.  I have to admit that this is pretty comfortable, but damn cold."
She rolled onto her back and stretched, then relaxed with her hands resting
above her head.  Once again I shook my head at her brazenness.

   "How do I look?" she asked with a lazy smile.

   "Just wait a second while I roll my tongue back in."

   She laughed and rolled off the bed.

   I was amazed at her change in attitude, though later I realized that she
was pushing my limits, trying to figure out when or if I'd crack and call
her names or hate her for her attitudes.  I don't think she was doing it
consciously, and despite her maturity for her age, she was still scared of
rejection, the same as I was.  She'd been hurt badly in the past by people
who didn't understand her, and she was scared to death I'd end up the same
way.  But at the time, I didn't know her well to understand this, so I just
shook my head and kept going.

   "Let me get my pants up." I stood up and almost fell over again.  Jenny
giggled.  Eventually I managed to get my pants on, and we headed for the
basement.

   End Chapter Three



   Chapter Four ------------



   A few minutes later I was thumbing through a cookbook looking for the
pancakes recipe.  Jenny was fishing through the fridge searching for eggs.

   "You know that the expiration date on your milk was two months ago?"

   "Really?" I asked, "I don't drink much milk.  Does it smell sour?" She
grimaced at me, and I grinned.  "Don't worry, I don't get much of a chance
to shop around here, so I buy in bulk.  There's a freezer out in the garage
that I keep it in until I need it.  I took that gallon out a few days ago."
I dumped the needed ingredients into a bowl and turned on the mixer, then
leaned against the counter.

   "Ah.  So when do you go shopping?" She grabbed a carton of eggs from
where it had been hiding behind an empty jar of pickles.

   "Every couple of months.  I eat a lot of canned stuff.  Meat and other
stuff that goes bad goes in the freezer."

   "So how old are these eggs?" she asked as she opened the carton.

   "Not too old.  A farmer down the road a ways drops off a dozen or so
every couple of weeks."

   "Nice setup you got here.  No wonder you don't see many people.  You
never get out."

   "Just the way I like it.  The wonders of mail order.  Toss me a couple
of those eggs." She did so and I cracked them into the mixing bowl.  Then
she broke a couple more into a frying pan and turned on the burner.  That
done, she turned and looked at me.

   "So, you've been pretty much alone out here for almost ten years.  You
have no friends.  You don't have any family you care for.  How can you love
me?  I'm surprised you know what love is."

   "A person knows.  At least I know.  I've been loved before, just not for
a long time." I turned off the mixer and plugged in the waffle iron.

   "Your father doesn't love you?" she asked.

   "How can he love someone he hasn't seen for more than two days at a time
in eighteen years?  Besides, I don't love him."

   "What about your mother?" she asked gently.  My hands gripped the
counter edge tightly and it became hard to talk.

   "My mother...  left...  when I was ten.  She couldn't take having him
around so rarely.  She left one night when my father was away.  I woke up
the next morning and she was gone." I managed to choke out.  I couldn't
manage to admit the truth to myself, much less to her at that point.

   "She just left you there, when you were ten?" she said, horrified.

   "It didn't matter much to me.  I had been taking care of myself since I
was eight, anyway.  All she was interested in was her soap operas and talk
shows.  My Dad found me a couple weeks later, sitting in the living room
reading a book." I stopped and sighed, releasing the counter.  "It doesn't
matter.  It's all in the past now."

   She turned off the burner and hugged me.  "I'm sorry."

   "Don't be.  It's pain so old it's little more than an ache now."

   "It's still there, though." she murmured into my chest.

   "Pain like that never goes away entirely.  You just learn to live with
it." I let her go and turned to the waffle iron.  "Let's get this finished,
I'm starving."



   We sat down to breakfast a half hour later; it was more of a brunch than
anything else since it was well after 11am.  The sun was shining through
open curtains on the window beside the table.  The sun reflected off
Jenny's hair, making it shine in different patterns as her head moved in
rhythm to her bites.

   "You know a lot about me Jenny, and I know next to nothing about you." I
asked, watching her eat.

   "There's nothing much to say.  I have a younger sister.  My parents are
really religious, but I never cared much for it.  I guess I saw my parents
blindly following an old book and a myth and decided it wasn't for me.
They're pretty strict.  I'm kinda the black sheep of the family, to tell
you the truth.  I'm always off in a corner doing my own thing, with friends
my parents don't approve of because they aren't religious."

   "I'm sure they'd be thrilled with me." I said wryly.  "My grandparents
tried to get me to go to church with a them a few years back.  Let's just
say that the other church members and I didn't get along to well.  I ended
up taking a swing at one of them when they tried to force me to do
something I didn't want to do, and that was that."

   "If I did something like that, my parents would disown me.  With what
happened, I wish I had slugged a few." she grinned at me.

   "So what did happen?" I asked, trying my best to ask casually.  Her face
fell immediately and she set down her fork as if she was no longer hungry.

   "I'm sorry.  You don't have to answer that, I shouldn't have asked."

   "No, no.  I think you have a right to know, with all that has happened.
I just hope you understand.  No one else has.  But if anyone can
understand, it will have to be you." She leaned back in her chair and
looked at the ceiling, avoiding my eyes.

   "I was staying the night over at a friends house last weekend.  We were
ready for bed, and we were both laying in bed talking and watching the TV
she has in her room.  Well, we started talking about some boys at school,
and we started talking about kissing and such.  My friend had kissed
someone before, I hadn't." she looked down at me and smiled, "Well, at
least until last night." she turned back to looking at the ceiling.  "So I
was curious about it, and was worried about doing it right whenever it
happened, so she offered to show me how to do it.  I thought she meant
she'd show me using a pillow or something, so I said sure.  But she leaned
over and kissed me on the lips.  I was shocked of course, but she's a
really good friend so I let her show me how.  We were really getting into
it when one of her little brothers walked in without knocking.  He stared
at us for a second, and then turned around and walked out without a word.
We panicked for a few minutes, but when her parents didn't come barging in
yelling and screaming, we figured it was OK and he'd not tell anyone.

   "Then a few days later rumors about me and her being lesbians started
floating around school.  We of course denied it, but rumors get around.
Then yesterday morning at school my Mom called the school and demanded to
talk to me.  So they called me up.

   "When I got on the phone she started screaming at me..." She choked up
and couldn't go on, tears were dripping down her face.  I got up and hugged
her.

   "There was nthing wrong with what you did Jenny, no matter what your
parents may think.  I don't think what you did was wrong.  It was perfectly
natural, something a lot of girls do.  If anyone needs to be yelled at, it
should be your parents and the others for making you feel this way."

   "You don't think I'm sick, or need help, or anything like that?" she
gasped through her tears.

   "Just because a lot of people think something is wrong doesn't mean that
it is." I told her firmly.  "Besides, if you're looking for proof that you
aren't a lesbian, remember last night, or this morning.  You obviously
enjoyed kissing me, after all."

   "Tell that to my parents." she sniffed.

   "I doubt it would help.  Your parents don't seem to trust you very much,
considering they took a rumor like that at face value."

   "You wouldn't believe the names she called me.  I didn't even think she
knew those words." she shivered.

   "Hate or fear of someone or something different is a failing of our
species, especially in the overly religious and the uneducated.  It brings
out the worst in people."

   "So what am I going to do?"

   "Stay here, I'm not going to throw you out.  Wait for your parents to
cool down, if they do.  I doubt there is a way to get through to them,
though.  If they care more about you than their religion or moral beliefs,
they will accept you as you are.  Or at least what they think you are.  If
not you're better off without them, at least if they continue to be as
abusive as your mother has."

   "But I can't stay here forever.  Your Dad will come back eventually."

   "Don't worry about my father.  I can deal with him, I have before.
We'll work something out.  I'm not turning you over to child protective
services, especially not in this town.  You'd be tossed in a foster home
until you're eighteen, and I couldn't bear that."

   She wrapped her arms around me, "One more thing I want to know." she
said, looking up at me.

   "What's that?"

   "How did I get lucky enough to end up with you?"

   "I don't know.  Not many guys are as intelligent, witty, or as handsome
as I am." I joked.

   "Oh, and you're not self-absorbed or egotistical in the least." she
giggled, laying her head against my chest.  I slowly started to stoke her
hair.

   "I see you're feeling better." I said.

   "A little.  Just hold me a while longer."

   It was the least I could do.

   End Chapter Four



   Chapter Five ------------



   By the time we separated the food was long cold.  Since neither of us
were hungry anymore, so we cleaned up.  When I started to dump the dishes
into the sink, she stopped me.

   "There's a dishwasher there, why don't you use it?" she asked.

   "Out of soap.  Besides, if we need dishes we can just wash some of the
ones over there." I said, waving my hand in the direction of the molding
stack of dishes on the counter.

   "You are a true bachelor." she said, wrinkling her nose at the smell of
rotting food emanating from the dishes.

   "You look cute when you wrinkle your nose like that." I said, taking her
up in my arms and kissing her.

   "No way, you're not getting out of it that easy." she smiled up at me.
"But I enjoyed your attempt." I let her go in defeat and began loading the
dishwasher.

   "From freedom to marriage in less than 24 hours." I groaned
melodramatically.

   "I wish I'd brought my whip." she said thoughtfully.  "I guess I can
make do with a belt." she grinned at me.

   "No thanks, I'm not into bondage.  I don't mind water sports though." I
grinned back at her.

   "Water sports?  What are...  Oh!" realization dawned on her.  "Don't
even think about it." she warned.  I just snickered.

   "Don't worry Jenny.  Your naiveté is one of your best features."

   "Oh, and you aren't naive?  You probably read all you know about sex in
your Dad's old Penthouse magazines or something."

   "No fair peeking under my mattress." I said, scraping what looked like
semi-alive fried chicken off of a plate.

   "You do have some?" she asked in surprise.

   "Used to.  I got bored with 'em." I said offhandedly.  She nodded,
looking almost disappointed.

   "Well, let's hurry up and finish those dishes." she said, turning back
to the task at hand.

   "Why?" I groaned.

   "Because if we don't that pile of dishes is going to spawn a new strain
of bacteria that will wipe out half the people in Oregon."

   "Sounds good to me." I yawned.

   "Oh, come on." she said, looking at me exasperatedly.  "Then after this
I want to get all the dirty clothes and things and put them in the washer."


   "Why?"

   "Because I grew up in a clean house and this one is driving me nuts!"
she growled in frustration.

   "Why didn't you just say so?" I said with a grin, reaching for more
dishes to be scraped clean of half-dried, half-rotted food.

   "Men!" she sighed, plopping down on a chair and putting her face in her
hands.  I pulled up a chair next to her.

   "Listen Jenny, this is different for me.  I've never had to worry about
anyone else.  Be patient and put up with my quirks.  I'll try to adjust,
but I won't put up with someone controlling my life."

   "I'm not!  I'm just trying to...  straighten you out a little."

   "Ok, ok.  I admit that I'm not the cleanest person in the world.  I'll
try to change that.  Besides, I can't have you go nuts on me.  If you did,
I'd have a lot more leftovers of my cooking again.  I don't think I'd be
able to stand it." I grinned at her.

   She snickered.  "I don't want to put you through that torture again."

   "Neither do I.  Let's get the dishes, and I'll see if I can figure out a
way to get some soap for the damn dishwasher."



   It took only a few minutes longer to load the dishwasher, and I quickly
figured out that I was low on more than just dishwasher detergent.  I had
two people to feed now, and my supplies were already somewhat depleted
since my last shopping trip had been quite some time before.

   "How about a shopping trip?" I asked as we loaded the last of the dishes
into the washer.

   "Great.  But how do we get there?  Do you have a car?" she saw the look
on my face, then amended herself quickly, "Never mind that, do you even
have a license?"

   "Who needs a license?  I just borrow the neighbor's car every few months
to pick some things up.  I think I can handle a twenty mile round trip on
back roads."

   "This car has seat belts, right?" she asked nervously.

   "Your confidence in me is reassuring."

   "My confidence in you as a person is strong.  My confidence in you as a
driver is a little limited."

   "Don't worry, I rarely top a speed of 120." I grinned.

   "I think I'll stay here." she said flatly, taking the sting out of the
statement with a smirk.

   "Aw, come on.  You can't wear those clothes forever.  I don't mind you
running around nude, but I think other people would start to notice." I
winked at her.

   She rolled her eyes at me, but I ignored her and went to call Mr.
Walker, the farmer a half mile down the road.  We weren't the best of
friends, but we got along.  His wife felt sorry for me and was always
dropping off things, a casserole, a pie, things like that.  The eggs were
partly because of this, although I always paid her.  They were willing to
loan me the car as long as I didn't wreck it and filled up the gas tank
before returning it.

   After the customary greetings, he said it was fine for me to borrow the
car as he and his wife weren't planning to use it until that Sunday for
church.  I thanked him and told Jenny I'd be back in fifteen minutes with
the car.  I don't know what they would have thought if I had shown up with
her, but I didn't want to find out.

   When I arrived at the Walker's house, I was greeted warmly as usual by
the elderly couple.  I turned down a piece of pie, saying I had to get into
town and get everything I needed before sundown, as I didn't want to have
to drive in the dark.  I hopped in the clunky old 1970's era Ford sedan and
drove back to pick up Jenny.

   She walked out after I honked, looking unsure in her jeans and jacket.
She had pulled her hair back in a ponytail, making her look even younger
than she actually was.  She opened the door and climbed in, moving an old
candy wrapper from the passenger seat.

   "Are you sure this thing will make it there and back?" she said, eyeing
the cracked windshield and 8-track stereo.

   "Made it before.  Of course, we can't go into town.  If we're seen
together your parents will hear about it within hours, and I think it's a
little too soon to let them know where you are."

   "So where are we going?"

   "It's not much further to Sandfield.  I go there when I don't feel like
being eyeballed by half the people in town." Jenny nodded and fastened her
seat belt, pulling it tight around her waist.

   "I'm guessing this car doesn't have airbags?" she asked.

   "Only when Mr.  Walker gives Mayor Jackson a ride to church." I said,
pulling out of the driveway onto the main road.

   She laughed.  "If you think he's bad, you should see Judge Williams."

   "I've never seen him.  I only saw the Mayor last 4th of July during one
of his speeches.  My Dad dragged me out for one of his 'I'm guilty for
being away so much' father and son outings."

   We spent the rest of the thirty minute drive swapping family stories.  I
had relatively few to tell, but she easily filled in the gap.  I was almost
in tears by the time we crossed the Sandfield city limits after she told
one particular story about how her Grandmother had chewed out the Mayor in
the middle of a speech for using the word 'hell' in front of 'the
impressionable children'.  We slipped into a comfortable silence as we
drove down the streets of downtown Sandfield.  With over 100,000 people,
Sandfield was the largest city or town within a two hundred mile radius.
This also meant it was the only place within two hundred miles that you
could see one of the big chain retail stores.  I pulled into the parking
lot of one of the larger shopping centers and quickly found a space to
park.

   "First up, getting you some new clothes." I said, opening the door.

   "Are you sure?  What about the money?" she asked worriedly.

   "Don't worry.  Joint bank account.  I balance the checkbook as well.  My
Dad keeps his credit cards and check book, I take care of the bills when
his paycheck arrives.  Besides, I haven't used any of my allowance in the
last two months.  I think I can afford it."

   She still looked uncertain.

   "Come on, I don't know of any better way to spend it.  If you don't,
you'll end up naked, and I'll end up with a mattress stuffed with money.
Not that I don't mind you naked, but it'd be a little embarrassing for you
to go out in public." I grinned.

   "Ok." she sighed resignedly, climbing out of the car.  I walked over and
wrapped my arm around her shoulder.

   "Come on, it'll be fun." I said, walking toward one of the clothing
stores.  "Besides, I need new clothes too.  We'll both suffer."



   We spent the next few hours wandering the stores.  Jenny picked out a
few pairs of jeans, blouses, and skirts.  She's the only female I've ever
heard of that doesn't like looking through clothes.  Of course, it might be
one of my misconceptions of the female side of our race.  But I doubt it.

   I went to look for some slacks for myself.  (I hate jeans.) She was
leaning against one of the displays with her eyes closed, waiting for me
outside one of the dressing rooms.

   "How are you doing?" I asked, concerned.

   "I'm fine." she said, opening her eyes.  "I was just thinking about
things.  People.  The future.  The past."

   "Few people seem to these days.  I'm glad you're not one of them.  Most
people seem content to watch the world pass by and never think about
anything."

   "I've noticed.  People just don't care anymore."

   "I don't know if it's so much people not caring anymore.  It's more
about people not seeing things for what they are.  People see a sitcom on
television and think that's how life is, or should be.  They forget that
life is more than some zany plot some writer thought up at two in the
morning.  Simpler things like 'will I have my job tomorrow' or 'how am I
going to pay the next rent check' are foremost on most people's minds."

   She sighed.  "We're not like everyone else, are we?" she asked quietly,
staring blankly ahead at the lime green wall.

   "No, we're not." I admitted.

   "It's lonely."

   "It is.  Alone in a crowd.  Watching people walk past, all with their
own friends and family."

   "This is depressing."

   I nodded, "Yeah, it is.  I've got what I need, let's go get something to
eat."

   Twenty minutes later we were sitting at a small diner in downtown
Sandfield.  After ordering we relaxed for a moment, the smell of French
fries and car exhaust filling our noses.

   "Boy am I tired." she said, stretching against the cracked vinyl seat of
the booth.

   "Well, we've just been running around for the last three hours looking
for clothes.  We still need to stop for the food supplies.  Oh, and your
dishwasher soap." I smiled lazily, ignoring her playful kick to my shin.

   Our food arrived and we dug hungrily into the greasy fries and greasier
hamburgers.

   "What's your idea of a perfect woman?" she asked, biting into her
burger. I almost choked on a gulp of my soda.

   "Where'd that come from?" I started, my eyes watering from carbonation
going up my nose from my coke.

   "I was just curious, that's all."

   "Well..." I said, thinking.  "She would be around five feet tall, a slim
athletic build, with long dark hair and soft white skin.  She would have
deep brown eyes that I would loose myself in whenever I looked at her.
She'd be intelligent, and think about things few people think about.  She
wouldn't be afraid to say what she thought about me or anyone else.  And
when she would smile, I'd see no one else in the room but her."

   I was treated to one of those smiles as she reached out across the table
and grabbed my hand.  Her small fingers blended with mine.

   "How can you bee so sweet?" she asked.  I was about to reply when the
waitress coughed.

   "Are you ready for your bill?" she asked gruffly, glaring at us.  Our
hands quickly drew back to their proper sides of the table.

   "Sure.  I'm almost done.  How about you?" I asked Jenny.

   "I'm full." she said, looking nervously up at the waitress.

   The waitress slapped down the check and walked away.

   "We need to be more careful." I said, pulling out my checkbook.

   "I wish we didn't have to be." she said.

   "So do I.  Come on, let's go.  I want to get back before it gets too
dark."



   We drove home in silence, each lost in our own thoughts.  We unloaded
our purchases and I went to drop off the car.  I jogged back to the house.
I had never enjoyed being in the woods after dark, even on the road.  Too
many horror novels I suppose.

   I was greeted with a blast of warm air as I walked in.  Jenny had
already built up the fire.  From sounds coming from the kitchen, was now
putting away the groceries we had picked up on our way out of Sandfield.

   "How's it going?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen.

   "About as well as it can be, especially since I don't know where
anything goes."

   "Nothing goes in any particular place.  Shove the non-perishables into
the cupboards.  I'll work on putting the meat into the freezer." Pulling
out one of the ten pound shrink wrapped slabs of hamburger, I went to work
spitting it into meal sized chunks.  A few minutes later I washed my hands
and turned to watch Jenny as she stacked cans of tuna into one of the
cupboards.  I watched her stretch to reach the top shelf, her T-shirt
riding up just enough for me to see an inch or so of her midriff, her jeans
pulling tighter against her firm little behind.  I crept up behind her and
wrapped my arms around her waist.  She lowered the can onto the counter and
turned to face me.

   "What do you think you're doing?" she asked, putting a hand on my chest.


   "Kissing you." I said, and pressed my lips against hers.  We kissed
hotly for a few seconds then broke for air.

   "You've been in the candy bars we bought." she said, eyes twinkling.

   "Uh oh, she's caught me with my hand in the cookie jar again."

   "I'm not complaining, I just want another taste."

   "Oh certainly, madam.  Only the finest for you." I kissed her again.

   "We'd better stop before we end up rolling around on the floor of the
kitchen.  I don't recommend it, I haven't swept in several years.  Let's
get this done.  Then we can sit in front of the fire and...enjoy
ourselves."

   "Just make sure you eat more candy before then." she smiled impishly at
me.



   *****



   The fire licked at the logs as Jenny and I cuddled on the couch,
enjoying the warmth.  She relaxed against me while I traced the length of
her arm idly, feeling the fine hairs brush against my fingertips.

   "I don't think I've ever felt this relaxed around someone." Jenny said,
bringing her arms up and wrapping them around mine.

   "I've never been around anyone long enough to find out what it's like to
be comfortable around someone." I chuckled.  We slipped into silence for a
few moments.

   "I feel like some hot chocolate, how about you?" I asked.

   "Sounds good to me."



   I walked from the kitchen a few minutes later to find her standing in
front of the big bay window.  The snow covered the trees in a coat of snow,
causing their branches to droop towards the ground.  It was a cold night,
no clouds in sight with a partial moon shining brightly.

   "Beautiful how the moonlight reflects off the snow like that, isn't it?"
Jenny said absently as I walked up behind her.  Wrapping my arms around her
waist, I handed her a mug.  She wrapped her fingers around the warm
ceramic.

   I sat mine on the sill and hugged her against me.  Kissing her on the
top her head, I breathed deep the musky scent of her hair.  I watched her
in the reflection of the firelight off the plate glass window.  She had a
look in her eyes, far off and haunted.

   "What are you thinking about?" I asked her softly.

   "Us.  How long this will last.  I know I'll have to talk to them
eventually.  I just don't want this to end, and it scares me."

   "Everyone has something to fear.  Yours is just a little more real than
most."

   "Why is mine more real than someone else's?  Do I deserve this?  Not
being able to go home, having to be afraid of my parents for what they
might do or say." A spark of anger and defiance flared into her eyes, then
was dampened again by fear.

   "I don't know.  Sometimes I wish I believed in god, so that I could deal
off things that happen as 'gods will'.  But I don't.  So I don't have the
answers, as much as I wish I did."

   She sighed heavily and turned away from the window.  I turned her
towards me.  I knelt so I could look into her eyes without her looking up
at me.

   "Jenny, I have come to know you as well as a person can know another in
two short days.  You are more than just a pretty face, as pretty as your
face may be." I took a deep breath and went on.  "I've come to appreciate
you for your intelligence and insight into things I never knew anyone
besides myself ever thought about.  I've never met anyone like you, and I
love you very, very much." I kissed her gently on the lips, and she hugged
me.

   "Thank you." she whispered.  I felt a tear jump from her face to my
neck, running down and soaking into the cotton of my shirt.

   I held her until she drooped limply in my arms.  I picked her up and lay
her on the couch.  She whimpered as I lay down next to her, then rolled
over and snuggled herself up against me.  Reaching down, I grabbed the worn
quilt draped over the couch arm.  Her hair fluttered in the gust of air,
the ends flipping up to tickle me on the nose as I drew it over us.  Her
warmth soaked through my clothing, washing over me.  As I slipped slowly
into sleep, I wondered how I was ever going to handle sleeping alone again.


   End Chapter Five

   Chapter Six -----------



   The next morning I woke up to the sound of a door slamming.  I figured
Jenny had gotten up early, and groggily sank back into the couch, figuring
on getting a few more minutes sleep.  Then a few things registered in my
mind.  One, the fire was out.  Two, there was a warm, cuddly something
laying next to me, and I didn't have a cat.

   "What the hell is going on here!" a voice demanded.



   I recognized that voice.

   "Dad!" I said in shock and fairly leapt from the couch, turning to where
he stood in the doorway of the kitchen.  His face was glowing bright red,
and I swore that I could see wisps of smoke coming out his ears.

   "I leave for a few days, and I come home to find you, on the couch, with
a girl!  Is this what you do every time I'm gone?  Answer me!"

   "Dad, I..."

   "Shut up!  I want this whore out of this house RIGHT NOW!" He roared.

   A cool wash of rage flowed over me.  My hands trembled with the
intensity of it, balling into tight fists.  Years of anger and frustration
overcame me, building up behind that wall of rage.  Jenny was still lying
on the couch, looking too afraid to move, much less speak.

   My father waited for me to make a move.  When I didn't, he took a step
toward Jenny as if to throw her out himself.  I stepped in front of him.

   "Don't you dare touch her." I said icily.

   "If you're not going to throw this bitch out, I will!" He pushed me out
of the way and went for Jenny again.

   The wall snapped.

   The anger and frustration vented through my fists, as I launched a punch
into my father's face.  He stumbled backwards and took a feeble swing at
me. I tried to duck it, but his fist still skimmed the side of my face.  I
landed a punch in his stomach, causing him to double up and fall against
the wall.  He slid into a sitting position, a dazed look in his eyes and
blood trickling from his nose.  I stood over him panting, fists still
clenched at my sides.  Jenny stood behind us, looking from my Father to me,
eyes wide, wondering what would happen next.

   "Jenny, go grab a washcloth from the kitchen, and soak it in cold
water." I panted, trying to keep my voice from wavering.  She nodded ran
for the kitchen.  I knelt in front of where my Dad lay, dripping blood on
the floor.

   "Are you ok?" I asked, regaining my composure.  He nodded, looking at me
warily.

   "Good, because if I ever hear you so much as say a bad word about her, I
will do it again, only next time you won't be conscious.  If you ever hurt
her in any way, I will kill you in the most painful way I know how." I said
coldly, my eyes rock hard, finishing just as Jenny walked back in.  I took
the washcloth from her and tossed it to him.

   "Clean yourself up.  Jenny and I are going upstairs.  I'll come back
down in a few hours, when we've both had time to cool off." He didn't
respond.  "Let's go." I told Jenny, and wrapped an arm around her.



   Once we were in my room with the door securely locked, I slumped against
a wall and closed my eyes.  My fists ached as if I had just punched them
through a plate glass window.

   "Are you all right?" she asked.

   "Yeah, I'm fine." I said, shaking all over as the adrenaline wore off.

   "You don't look like it." She stepped toward me and ran her hands over
my face, stopping at my left cheek.  "I don't think you felt it, but he
managed to hit you once before he fell." She stood on her toes and kissed
the developing bruise gently.  "All better?" she asked with a small smile.
I chuckled and hugged her against me.  I couldn't tell who was shaking
more, her or me.

   "I'm sorry that that happened.  I didn't expect him home so soon.  He
didn't catch us in the best position, either."

   "No, he didn't." she paused.  "I should thank you, really.  He might
have hurt me, even if only in anger."

   "Blind rage can come in handy sometimes."

   "Hmm.  Why am I so tired?  I just barely got up."

   I glanced at the clock on the dresser.  "Well, it is only six thirty in
the morning."

   "That could be it.  We seem to have gotten into the habit of sleeping in
until ten or eleven."

   "Well, let's get a few more hours sleep.  He's probably down there in
his den getting drunk as we speak.  He'll be passed out within an hour and
sleep longer than we will."

   She agreed, and we tumbled into bed.

   *****

   I opened my eyes slowly, feeling warm breath blowing over my face,
rustling my hair.  Jenny was lying a few inches away, and smiled at me as I
opened my eyes.  She didn't say anything, but pursed her lips and playfully
blew air across my face as my eyes focused on hers.

   Lifting a hand, she stroked my cheek with her fingertips, then let it
drift slowly down to my neck, across my shoulder and down my side.  Her
gentle touch sent sparks skittering across my skin.  Halting at my thigh,
she reversed direction and traced the lines of my back.  All this time she
continued to stare into my eyes, her slight smile staying on her lips.
Suddenly she stopped and looked at me expectantly.

   Taking her cue, I touched her cheek, then let my my fingers drop,
tracing jaw line, down across her neck and shoulder, finally ending up with
my palm gliding over her waist.  From there on, it was a free for all.  We
caressed, tickled and massaged, our breathing becoming deeper.  The
coldness of the room seemed to disappear the more we touched one another.
Finally we kissed one another deeply, holding our lips together until lack
of oxygen made us break apart, only to kiss again once we caught our
breath.

   Our arms wrapped around one another; the kisses, the caresses, the
loving sighs all faded into a dreamlike blur.  A minute became ten, ten
minutes became half an hour, half an hour became two.

   Jenny and I made love for the first time that morning.  Perhaps the
tension of the situation we'd been placed in had pushed us into it; perhaps
it was the intense need for one another stemming from being alone in a
world that didn't accept either of us for what we were.

   I don't know, I didn't want to analyze it then, nor do I now.  I do know
that neither of us regretted the spur of the moment decision, knowing that
both of us had been ready or neither of us would have let the other go
through with it.  Even in the beginning of it all I knew Jenny would never
intentionally do something to hurt me, and I know she trusted me in the
same way.

   When it was all over, we lay together under the warm comforter, wrapped
up in one another's arms and legs, caressing each other in the way only
lovers can.  My face was nuzzled into the nape of her neck, enjoying her
shivers every time I nibbled at the sensitive skin with my lips, inhaling
the shampoo-clean smell of her fine hair.  My hands stroked up and down her
smooth stomach, doing my best not to tickle, though I did let my finger
wiggle into her bellybutton from time to time, just to enjoy making her
giggle and squirm.

   The warm, comforting glow of holding someone you love unconditionally
has caused many a poet and songwriter to write countless words on the
subject.  Anyone who has felt that sensation firsthand knows that none of
those words could ever come close to properly describing the sensations of
safety, comfort, and belonging that simple skin contact causes between two
people who truly love one another.

   "How are you doing?" I asked after several minutes of this, lifting
myself up onto an elbow and stroking her hair.

   "So...  intense." she murmured, twisting around to face me, making sure
not to break skin contact.

   "You liked it?" I grinned.

   "What do you think?" she asked, sounding amused.  Shifting upward, she
kissed me and settled back, nestling her head against my chest.

   "You tired me out." I teased.

   She smiled.  "Well, you tired me out too."

   I smiled back, then glanced at the clock on the wall opposite the bed.
"By now my Dad will be nursing a hangover and wondering where we are."

   "Then we'd better get up."

   "You first."

   She groaned and separated from me, sitting up then tumbling limply onto
the bed.

   "I think I'm still a little trembly." she giggled.

   "Better than me.  I can hardly move." I glanced at her, then looked down
at myself.  "One thing is for sure, we both need a shower."

   Stretching in a way that would make a cat jealous, Jenny agreed.
"Definitely."

   Groaning, I got up and stumbled heavily across the room to where my robe
hung on the wall on a peg.  I pulled it on as Jenny stretched and climbed
slowly out of bed I grabbed my father's borrowed robe and wrapped it around
her.  She squealed as I playfully picked her up.  "What are you doing?" she
demanded.

   "Taking you to the shower."

   "That's sweet, but I can walk."

   "Ah, but it's so much more fun to carry you." I grinned as I managed to
open the door, despite having to fumble with the lock.  The tub in the
bathroom thankfully doubled as a shower.  I didn't really want to risk
running into my Dad if he had decided to use his room to pass out in.

   Jenny took off the robe and waited patiently as I got the hot water
running, then climbed in with me.

   By the time we left the bathroom Jenny and I were wide awake, but not
looking forward to dealing with my father any more than before.  We dressed
when we got back to my room, her putting on a light cotton blouse and a
knee length skirt that she had bought the day before.  When she was ready
she walked over and hugged me tightly.

   "Ready to go and see if my Dad is any more cooperative?" I asked.

   She nodded, giving me one last squeeze before letting go.  "Let's go."
she said quietly.



   We didn't say anything as we walked out of my room and down the stairs.
The smell of coffee reached my nose.  My father was sitting at the kitchen
table, a newspaper spread out in front of him.  He looked up as we walked
in eyes flicking from me to Jenny, and back again.  His eyes were slightly
bloodshot and he had the woebegone look of a man who was definitely nursing
a hangover.

   "Morning." he said, wincing at the volume of his own voice.

   "Morning." I answered, not sure what to say.  Jenny stood slightly
behind me and didn't say anything.

   "There's coffee in the pot if you like." he said uneasily.  I nodded,
and walked toward the counter.  I pulled a mug from the cupboard and poured
a cup for myself.  I didn't usually drink coffee, but I did so in the
interests of diplomacy.  Jenny took a mug and went about making herself a
hot chocolate.  A few minutes later we were all sitting uncomfortably at
the table, keeping as much distance as possible while trying not to seem
hostile.  Unable to keep up the tense silence, my Dad spoke first.

   "I'm not sure what's going on here, but I do know I over reacted this
morning.  I said some things I shouldn't have.  Especially to you." he
said, looking at Jenny.  She continued to stare down at her mug.

   "I shouldn't have hit you like I did.  You made a move towards her that
I could have dealt with a bit better." I admitted.  "I care a lot for
Jenny. You weren't the only one who over reacted this morning." I looked up
at him.  "But I meant every word I said."

   He nodded thoughtfully.  "I can tell you care for her.  I have the
bruises to prove it." He grinned wryly.  "You're not the little kid I left
here all those years ago, are you?"

   "No, I'm not." I affirmed.

   "Fine.  I'll abide by what you said.  And you, Jenny; you're welcome to
stay as long as you need to."

   "Thank you." she replied softly.  My father smiled briefly at her and
stood up, the chair legs scraping against the linoleum floor.

   "I need to get some work done, so if you'll excuse me." He walked to the
kitchen door and paused.  "Alex, can I see you for a minute in the den?"

   I nodded and got up.  Jenny looked at me questioningly.  I gave her a
reassuring squeeze on the shoulder, and followed my Dad into the den.  A
half empty bottle of scotch sat on the heavy, old fashioned oak desk.
After sitting down in his chair, he poured himself a glass, then looked at
me.

   "Her first name is Jenny, I've figured that out.  What's her last name?
How do you know her?  Why is she here?" He shot off the questions in rapid
succession.  I took a moment to think my answers through.  He waited
patiently, nursing the glass of scotch.  He was always patient -- when it
suited his needs.

   "Her last name isn't important.  I met her on the bus to school, and
she's here because she has no place else to go."

   "What about her parents?"

   "Her parents...  aren't to fond of her at the moment."

   "Why?"

   "Why doesn't matter.  She's here."

   "It matters to me.  A runaway?  She steal something from her parents?"
He paused for a moment, then said, almost fearfully, "Or is she pregnant?"

   I stared at him in shock.  My teeth grated.  I was having a hard time
trying to keep from hitting him again.  "Pregnant?  Dad, what do you
think..."

   "I don't think, I know." he broke in.  "It was a little hard not to
know, considering the sounds that were coming from your bedroom just an
hour or so ago."

   "What, were you spying on us?" I said angrily.

   "Spying?  Only if you consider not having earplugs in spying." he said
disgustedly.

   I glowered at the floor, staring at a knot in the hardwood floor.  "It's
none of your business what goes on between us." I said stubbornly.

   "Alex, do you know you could go to jail for what you two are doing?
Just looking at her I can tell she's no where near your age!" "Yes, I know.
We know.  I think it's idiotic that two people that care for each other
like we do can't be together, whatever their age.  But she's not going to
tell anyone." I looked up sharply at him.  "Are you?"

   "You haven't answered my question yet.  Is she pregnant?"

   "No." I sighed.  "This morning was the first..." I trailed off.  "Well,
that's none of your business either."

   "Then why is she here?"

   "I still say that's no concern of yours.  I'd be betraying her trust if
I told you.  And frankly, I don't think you'd understand.

   "But she didn't steal anything, and she isn't a runaway, she was pretty
much kicked out.  For the time being at least.  I couldn't just leave her
to live on the streets.  We've only really gotten to know each other in the
last couple of days." I took a deep breath.  "I love her, Dad.  She feels
the same way.  Otherwise, what happened this morning never would have
happened."

   He look surprised, then his expression hardened more, if possible.  "How
do you know you love her?  As far as I know, you've never even gone out on
a date with another girl.  You sure don't have the base of experience you
need to be able to know."

   I sighed, thinking to myself that perhaps I would have had some part of
that base if he had actually been home more than he was.  Or at least
showed that he gave a damn every once in a while.  I fought back the
bitterness I'd thought I'd gotten over years before, and didn't voice my
thoughts.  Instead, I turned toward the wall, staring, thinking.  Thoughts
blurred in my head.  My eyes focused on a picture hanging on the wall.  It
was an old picture of my family, before it fell apart so many years before.
I remembered the occasion clearly; it had been taken during one of the few
times when my father was home and my mother was in a good enough mood to
move from the couch.  We had gone fishing on one of the local lakes.
Slowly those blurry memories came into focus.  Memories of happiness and
belonging rolled across the surface of my mind, then faded as it quivered
and sank below the surface again.  'So brief are moments of happiness in
this life.' I thought to myself.

   Bracing myself, I turned toward him again, where he had again been
patiently waiting, looking at me and swirling his scotch around his glass,
but thankfully not drinking any more of it.

   "There have been few times in my life where I have been truly happy.
One or two of them even involved you, or Mother.  I loved you once, and I
loved Mom.  Loved you, despite the fact that you were home no more then
three or four weeks a year; despite that Mom saw me as little more than a
person to change the channel on the TV for her when the batteries in the
remote went dead.  Now I've realized over the last few years that I don't
love either of you anymore.

   "I can't remember a single time in my life when I was more happy than
I've been these last few days with Jenny.  When I look into her eyes, I see
someone who loves me, not for what I look like, or who I seem to be on the
outside.  She loves me for who I am, not for what she wishes I was.

   "When I look at you, when I look into your eyes, I see nothing more than
a flicker, a flicker of what once was.  Something that I don't think can
ever be again." I turned and strode toward the door.  He didn't stop me,
seemingly frozen in space, unable to move or speak.

   As I slid the door closed, I felt the emotional chasm between us widen.
Then the door thumped against the doorjamb, signaling of a final parting
between two people.  A parting long overdue.

   End Chapter Six

   Chapter Seven -------------

   I walked slowly back to the kitchen where Jenny was still sitting,
staring out the small window above the kitchen sink.  Outside it was
lightly snowing, the flakes falling from dark gray overcast skies.

   'Peaceful outside, tormented within.' I thought to myself.

   Jenny looked at me as I plopped tiredly into the chair next to her.
"What did you talk about?" she asked.

   "Me.  You.  He asked why you couldn't go home." I took a deep breath.
"He asked me if you were pregnant.  He knows about us, Jenny.  Seems we
weren't as careful as we should have been this morning." She looked
panicked.  "Don't worry.  I don't think he's going to tell anyone." I
reassured her.  "At least I hope not.  It depends on how he deals with the
last few words I said."

   "You told him how you felt about him?  What happened after that?" she
asked, wide eyed.

   "He didn't say anything.  He just sat there, looking stunned."

   "I'm sorry I caused all these problems for you." she said sadly,
swirling the lukewarm hot chocolate around the mug, watching the milky
froth swirl around the rim.

   "It wasn't you.  All this has been a long time building up.  I'm a
little relieved that it's over."

   "What's this 'pregnant' business?" she asked.

   I snorted.  "It was the only way he could figure out why I would let you
stay here.  I told you he doesn't know me very well."

   "Obviously not.  He doesn't know how sweet you are." she said with a
fond smile.

   "Yeah, well I don't let it get out much.  Might ruin my reputation." I
grinned weakly.

   Jenny got up and slid onto my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck,
then kissed me softly on the lips.  "Wouldn't want that to happen.  Some
other pretty girl might come along and steal you from me."

   I hugged her then kissed her back.  "To late for anyone else, my heart
is already snagged by a dark haired girl who's just a little too smart for
her own good."

   She smiled and lay her head on my shoulder, her warm breath tickling the
fine hairs on my neck.  I heard the door to the den slide open, and Jenny
looked up at me with a questioning look.  I held finger to my lips.  She
relaxed, eyes falling to half mast, then closed.  Footsteps paused outside
the door, and I could feel my father's gaze roll over us.  I thought I
heard a faint sigh, and then the sound of heavy feet on the creaky stairs.
A few seconds later I heard the door to his bedroom close.

   "I think that's a good sign." I said.  Jenny didn't answer, but
tightened her grip on me.  I felt as if I was a balloon, held to the ground
only by a thin string tied around a little girl's wrist.  The wind was
rising, and god help me if that string broke, or worse, if she let go.  The
last thread to my family had been broken.  No matter how much she needed
me, I needed her more; if anything, just to keep my sanity.

   *****



   The next few days were awkward between Jenny, my Father, and myself.  He
said little to either of us but was always very polite, especially to
Jenny. He left two days after the initial confrontation, off on another
business trip, or so he said.  I thought it was more likely that he
couldn't take the tension anymore, and decided to move on to greener
pastures.  I figured it was just as well.



   We returned to school the next day.  We were afraid that if we stayed
out any longer that the principal would start asking uncomfortable
questions.  I wrote Jenny a note excusing her absences, forging her
father's signature.  I didn't have to worry about myself.  Most of the
staff knew about my living arrangements, so I was left alone on the few
occasions I was absent.  It helped that I was considered rather strange as
well.

   Jenny told me that I could have a very intense, impassive expression on
my face when dealing with people I didn't like very well; I suspect that
this was the expression I had when dealing with the administration of the
school.  Either way, I nurtured this freedom and tried to avoid skipping
school, just in case someday I had a reason to stay home without being
sick. I was sure I wouldn't be questioned.

   Jenny and I boarded the bus together, much to the amazement of Jenny's
little sister.  Her eyes went wide as saucers as she saw me climb the steps
into the school bus, followed closely by Jenny.

   Jenny sat down beside her sister Amanda, who immediately began talking a
mile a minute.  I took my usual spot and stared out the window, trying to
ignore the few whispers spreading through the moist, overheated interior of
the bus.  A few minutes later Jenny left her sister's seat and moved over
to mine, bringing a fresh round of whispers.

   She had a blank look on her face, obviously trying to keep her emotions
in check.  Leaning over, she turned and whispered in my ear.  "She said
that my parents didn't seem to care that I was gone.  When she asked them
where I was, they ignored her.  She said they act as if I never existed."

   I glanced up at her little sister, who was staring at me, eyes still
wide.  Figuring that I had best be on good terms with Jenny's little
sister, I smiled and winked at her.  I got the expected reaction; she
blushed and turned away from me.

   "Well, at least they didn't call the police and report you missing.  If
they had, it wouldn't be long before they got around to picking you and
most likely me up after the word gets around that we're back in school.
How much did you tell her?"

   "Just that I was staying with a friend."

   "Do you think she's guessed who that 'friend' is yet?"

   "She's not dumb, of course she's guessed.  She won't tell my parents
though, even if they would listen.  I have a little dirt on her.  She'd
rather keep quiet and let me be the only one in trouble."

   I chuckled.  "Then everything is fine for right now?"

   "I guess so." She grimaced.  "But I'm not sure about the future."

   "We'll worry about the future when it gets closer."

   She nodded in agreement, and we sat back for the rest of the bus ride.

   Our school was a combination of the seventh through twelfth grades, the
population of our small town not warranting a junior high.  The school was
named after the town founder, Jesse P.  Clark.  No one ever called it that,
though.  Most just referred to it simply as 'the high school'.  It housed
no more than five hundred or so students.  Having been built back in the
1930's it was, although clean, perpetually too hot or too cold, depending
of course on the weather at the time.  There was no air conditioning, so in
the spring and summer months it was stifling.  In the winter it
occasionally got cold enough to see your breath, but usually it was so hot
you felt close to heat exhaustion just sitting in class.  Sports were
nearly nonexistent.  The academics were almost as bad as the sports.  Most
of the children were of the offspring of fifth generation loggers and would
most likely follow in the footsteps of their mothers and fathers, marrying
out of high school and having the children that would make up the seventh
generation of loggers and their wives.



   We walked into the old building together, drawing a few curious looks.
'More fodder for the school rumors.' I thought to myself.

   Jenny followed me to my locker, then I followed her to hers.  Before we
parted to go to our different homerooms, I glanced around quickly to make
sure the coast was clear.  Seeing no one else nearby, I gave her a quick
peck on the lips.  We smiled at each other, communicating our desire for
more than just a quick kiss, but we both knew that under the circumstances
it was impossible.

   "See you at lunch?" I asked.

   "Of course." she said, doing her best to sound cheery; it seemed forced.
I gave her one final hug and we jogged off for homeroom, both of us looking
wistfully over our shoulders until the other could no longer be seen.



   That day of school was hell for both of us.  The first hour was the
longest amount of time we had been apart since Thursday of the previous
week.  My mind wandered constantly to her and how she was handling the
rumors.  I was in all the 'gifted' classes, but gifted in this school just
meant you could read better than average, and the average was pretty bad.

   The teachers didn't notice how distracted I was.  I usually just stared
out the window, so that wasn't too surprising.  They pretty much left me
alone, as they had learned was prudent over time.  I was famous among the
teachers; I was adept at making them look stupid.  As if it was that
difficult to do.  The most recent science books in the building were from
1976.  The history books were even worse; they had been published five
years before the Vietnam war.

   It didn't matter much, the majority of the books were so battered you
were lucky if the page you needed hadn't fallen out years before.  Most of
the teachers hadn't bothered to keep up on current events, either.  Faces
tended to turn red when I started discussing the climate of Venus, or the
composition of a neutron star.  Forget Darwin and the theory of evolution.
Creationism ruled supreme.

   "If you believe that anyone but god almighty created this universe, you
may as well get outta my classroom right now, boy." as one 'science
teacher' had told me once.  Genetics was referred to as "Those ungodly
experiments" and sex-ed was blasphemy reserved for the "big city" schools.

   Consequently, I found that it was easier to stare out the window and do
nothing.  That suited the teachers just fine.  We had an unwritten
understanding: I gave them no trouble and they gave me an A, whether or not
I turned in any work or not.  (Years later I would list myself among the
"home schooled".  In effect I was, despite spending six hours a day in
classrooms for most of my childhood.)



   When lunch period finally rolled around I grabbed my sack lunch from my
locker and headed for the cafeteria.  I found Jenny sitting at a table near
the rear of the room, some distance from the main mass of kids.  Sitting
beside her was another eighth grade girl.  They were talking quietly
between themselves, but stopped as I pulled out a chair next to Jenny and
sat down, resisting the urge to kiss her.  I could tell that she was
resisting the same urge.  If we hadn't it would have caused quite a stir
among the student population and even more of a stir among the teachers in
charge of supervising lunch that day.

   "Hi Jenny, how was class?" I asked.

   "Fine, as far as school goes I guess.  This my my friend, Kallie." she
answered, nodding toward the other girl at the table.

   Kallie was of medium build, with white-blonde hair cut to shoulder
length.  She was pretty, and would have been beautiful if it wasn't for her
sharp, slightly oversized nose and the cool, calculating look in her green
eyes.  She was a sharp contrast to Jenny, with her dark walnut colored,
nearly waist length hair and eyes of equal color.  Where Jenny was somewhat
short, slim and athletic, best described as petite, Kallie was tall, almost
six foot, with slightly overdeveloped breasts for her age and a pronounced
figure.  Jenny was dressed in a pleated navy blue skirt that fell just
short of her knees and a forest green blouse.  Kallie was dressed in worn
jeans and a flannel shirt, giving her a tomboyish look.

   "Nice to meet you, Kallie." I said politely.

   "So you're the guy Jenny's been sleeping with the last few days, eh?"
she said bluntly.  Jenny and I both blushed in embarrassment.

   "I'm guessing you told her most, if not all about us?" I stammered to
Jenny.

   She nodded.  "I trust her.  She was the other person involved in the...
incident that brought up the rumors that started all of this."

   I nodded.  "If you can trust her, I can trust her." Leaning back in my
chair, I turned to Kallie.  "So how did your parents deal with the rumor?"

   "They haven't heard it yet.  They're to busy with keeping my four
younger brothers in line."

   I whistled.  "No wonder you two got walked in on." Now it was her turn
to blush.

   "It's hard to have any privacy when you're the oldest of five kids."

   "I've never had a problem with privacy."

   "I'll bet.  That house all to yourself.  You don't know how lucky you
are." Kallie said, looking at me enviously.

   "I see Jenny has told you quite a bit about me.  Nothing to embarrassing
I hope."

   "Yup.  I haven't been able to get a description of what you look like
naked, but now that I've seen you I can make a pretty good guess." she
said, looking me up and down appraisingly with a grin.

   "You're very straight forward, aren't you?" I said, face flaming red
again.

   "You have to be to live in a three bedroom house with six other people."
she retorted.  "Otherwise you'd never get anything done."

   "Ah." I nodded, doing my best to look understanding, and turned to
Jenny. "So no troubles so far?"

   "I missed you." she said, smiling longingly at me, scooting her chair
closer to mine.

   "I missed you too." I reached out and took her hand, running my thumb
over the skin on the back of her hand.

   "Sheesh, cool off you two before I hafta go get a bucket of ice water."
Kallie grinned.  We just looked defiantly at her, and continued to hold
hands under the table.

   "So when you going to go home?" Kallie asked Jenny curiously.

   "I don't know.  Alex says I can stay as long as I need too, and his Dad
agrees." She grimaced.  "My parent's aren't exactly thrilled with me, and
once the word gets around that I've been staying with a guy who's four
years older than I am, it won't get any better."

   Kallie turned to look at me speculatively.  "You're *four years* older
than she is?  That would make you eighteen!  You don't look a day over
sixteen to me."

   "Want to see my ID?" I challenged.

   "Maybe later.  I love the deer in the headlights look people get when
they have their pictures taken for that kinda thing.  Speaking of deer,
what're you going to do when her Dad finds out and starts after you with a
shotgun?"

   "I can handle myself." I said defensively.  "If I were you, I'd worry
more about your parents finding out your part in these "lesbian" rumors."

   "It wouldn't matter much to my parents one way or another.  I would be
more worried if I were you.  If anyone in this town found out an eighteen
year old guy was messing around with a fourteen year old girl, you'd be
lucky to make it to the county limits without having a few shotgun pellets
stinging your hide."

   "Can you say it any louder?  I don't think cooks in the kitchen heard
you." I said sarcastically.  I knew I should have been controlling myself
better.  After all, she was only afraid of losing what was most likely her
best and possibly only friend to me.  It was no wonder she was a little
hostile.  'Any more hostile and she'd be pulling a gun on me.' I grumbled
to myself.

   "Just settle down you two." Jenny cut in, glaring at both of us.  "Now
both of you are important to me.  I'd rather have you two friends than
enemies."

   Kallie and I looked guiltily at each other.

   "Truce?" Kallie asked.

   "Truce.  Now we'd better eat before lunch period runs out.  I'm
starving."

   "Doesn't look like it to..." Kallie's voice died off as she was nailed
by a glare from Jenny.  She dropped her eyes to her sandwich, and we ate
the rest of the meal in silence.  When the bell rang, Kallie ran off for
fourth period, waving a quick goodbye.  Jenny and I lagged behind, waiting
for the cafeteria to clear out enough for us to be alone.

   "Sorry about Kallie.  She's pretty...  standoffish to other people."

   "I can understand that.  But she sure knows how to get under your skin,
doesn't she?"

   "You should see her when she's at home."

   "I don't think I want to." I grinned, slipping an arm around her as the
last of the students hurried out of the room.  The cooks had already slid
down the stainless steel doors that separated the kitchen from the
cafeteria.  "We'd better get going.  A kiss before we go?"

   "Always." She kissed me gently on the lips, then we parted slowly.  I
waved to her as she jogged off, then went in the opposite direction to
suffer through history.



   *****



   When school let out, I met Jenny out in front of the building.  Kallie
had already boarded her bus, and as usual, our bus was five minutes late.

   "How was your day?" I asked.

   "Boring.  One of these days Mr.  Greene is going to figure out that the
demonstration of what happens when you mix vinegar and baking soda gets a
little old after you've seen it twenty or thirty times."

   I groaned in sympathy in remembrance of eighth grade chemistry as our
bus finally pulled up, and the semi-frozen children slowly climbed aboard.
The heater seemed to be on the fritz again, so Jenny cuddled up against me
for warmth.  I didn't dare put my arm around her, we were drawing enough
stares as it was.



   It was nearly dark when we arrived home, the days being short this time
of year.  After starting the customary fire, I went into the kitchen.
Jenny took off her jacket and stood in front of the fire for a moment,
thawing out.

   "Sit down for a while, do whatever homework you need to, or just relax.
I'm fixing dinner tonight." I called.

   "Let me help.  I'll just feel useless out here if I don't."

   I heard her walking towards the kitchen.  I quickly dropped what I was
doing and blocked her entry into the kitchen.  "It's a surprise." I told
her.  "Don't ruin it.  Let me do this, eh?"

   "Okay." she said suspiciously.  "But I'm going to find out in a little
while, right?"

   "Of course.  It wouldn't be any fun to prepare a surprise and then never
surprise you, now would it?" I raised an eyebrow in my semi-famous 'Spock'
impression.

   She laughed.  "All right, I'll wait.  It better be good, though."

   "It will be." I kissed her on the forehead and pushed her back toward
the living room.  I heard the springs on the couch squeak as she sat down,
and I returned to preparing my surprise.

   End Chapter Seven

   Chapter Eight -------------



   Jenny was staring at the fire when I walked in an hour later, curled up
in a tight ball on the couch, legs tucked under her.

   "You're finally ready?" she asked, peering at me from the couch.

   "Yes.  Just put this on." I gave her a towel I had folded to make a
blindfold."

   "Why?" she asked curiously.

   "Because if you don't, it won't be as much of a surprise.  Come on,
humor me." I pleaded.

   "Oh, fine." she sighed, sliding off the couch onto her feet.  I helped
her put the blindfold on, tying it tightly enough so that she couldn't see
anything.  Turning off all the lights, I led her into the dining room, then
took off the blindfold.  She gasped.

   "This is wonderful!" she exclaimed.  I had laid out a dinner for two,
complete with candles and champagne glasses.  "What's it all for?" she
asked, looking over the food spread across the table.

   "Don't you remember our one week anniversary?"

   She looked stunned.  "Oh, you're so sweet, I'd forgotten!"

   "No, the dessert is sweet." I joked.  "I'm just a guy that has a little
less on my mind than you do."

   "Still, thank you." She hugged me, reaching up and massaging the nape of
my neck in a way that she knew made me shiver every time.

   I kissed her appreciatively and sat down across from her.  "Now, for the
main dish." I announced, then lifted the lid of a large bowl in the center
of the table.

   "Spaghetti!  You even remembered that!" she cried.

   "It's my cooking, but it should be edible.  I talked Mrs.  Walker into
making the French bread though, so that's edible for sure.  The woman
nearly broke into tears when she finally pressured me into telling her I
wanted it for a special dinner with a girl.  She wanted to come over and
help, but I told her I wanted to do it myself, but didn't think I could
manage the bread."

   "It's wonderful.  I can't believe you did all this!" she exclaimed.

   I just smiled across the table at her.  "It was worth it." I lifted my
champagne glass.  "To us, and another week." We clinked glasses, and took a
sip.  "Be careful with that, it's real champagne.  I could drink a few
glasses before I got drunk, but for you it'll be quite a bit less,
considering your size and weight."



   So we ate dinner, idle chatter about the day passing between us.  Before
long the champagne started to get to both of us, and the glimmer of her
eyes in the flickering candlelight began to draw more and more of my
attention.  Finally I stood up and walked over to her.  "Now for the second
part of the evening." I announced.

   "There's more?" she asked.

   "Of course!" I took her hand and led her into the living room.  "What
romantic evening would be complete without dancing?" I walked to the old
stereo system in the corner and put on some soft music.  Taking her into my
arms, I held her gently against me.

   "Now, I don't know how to dance, so I apologize if I step on your toes
once in a while." I said with a smile.

   Jenny laughed softly, and we began to sway gently to the music.  She
moved closer to me, pressing close, resting her head on my chest.  We said
nothing for a few minutes, enjoying the feeling of being close to one
another, the music weaving on slowly in the background.

   "Jenny, I have something for you."

   "Really?" she raised her head off my chest and looked up at me.  I
fumbled in my pocket, and finally found it, drawing the small gold locket
and chain from my pocket.  It glimmered in the dim firelight.  Jenny drew
in a sharp breath.  "For me?  But where did you get it?"

   "It was my mother's." I fastened it around her neck for her as she
pulled her long hair out of the way.  She fingered it, clicking it open to
reveal two empty picture sockets.  "It was the only thing she left behind.
I found it on the kitchen table the morning after she left; she had taken
the picture of my father out of it.  Her way of telling my father that it
was over, I suppose.  I tried to give it to him when he came back, but he
told me to keep it, as a memory of my mother.  I did.  Now I want to give
it to you, and maybe put a little happiness into it.  When we next go to
Sandville I'll have our pictures put into it."

   "Thank you." she said tearfully, embracing me tightly.  I hugged her
back.

   "Hey, I didn't mean to make you cry." I said, pushing her hair back over
her ear, then wiping a tear off her cheek.

   "No, I'm sorry.  It's just the nicest, most beautiful thing anyone's
ever given me."

   "I love you, Jenny." I said seriously.

   "I love you too.  Always.  I'll keep it forever.  I'm just sorry that I
don't have anything to give you."

   "You've given me more than you know.  Someone to talk to, someone to
love.  Someone I can depend on, and be depended on by.  That's much more
valuable than any little trinket that I could ever give you." Having said
this, I kissed her.  Her body molded itself to mine, in that perfect
embrace that all lovers seem to share.  We settled onto the couch, and
spent the rest of the evening together in front of the fireplace, bathing
ourselves in the warmth of each other's company.  Eventually we both
drifted off to sleep, the fire dying slowly in the hearth.



   I woke up a few hours later, my back freezing.  The fire had died to
dull coals, letting the cold air encroach on where we lay.

   Jenny was cuddled up against me, shivering violently.  Untangling myself
from her, I lifted her into my arms.  She barely stirred as I cradled her
body against mine, her long hair tumbling over my arm, swishing back and
forth across my stomach as I stumbled my way up to our room.

   'Funny.' I thought, 'I wonder when it became "our" room?' I decided that
it had become our room that first night, when I held her in my arms as she
fell asleep.

   Lying her down gently on the bed, I watched as she lay there, like an
oversized doll, arms and legs limp.  Kneeling on the bed, I kissed her
softly on the cheek.  Pulling the blankets over us, I held her against me,
rubbing her skin where it had been exposed to the cold air of the living
room.

   Laying there, sharing body heat, I reminisced about what had happened in
the last seven days or so; a time span that seemed like a lifetime to me.
It was as if I had never lived before I met Jenny.  Life before her seemed
infinitely distant in the past, and I found myself wanting to forget those
days of isolation and distrust.

   'The here and now is all that matters,' I thought as Jenny squirmed
against me, unconsciously pressing her body tighter against my warmth in
her sleep.  Still, as I fell asleep, I worried about what tomorrow and the
next day might bring.

   I dreamt of the ghosts of people I had known in the past chasing me.  My
mother, my father, my grandparents, and every bully, teacher, or other
adult who had ever threatened or hurt me.  Off in the distance I could hear
Jenny screaming, crying out my name.  As I ran in slow motion from my
pursuers the screams grew louder, until I could see Jenny off in the
distance.  Two figures were standing over her; they laughed horribly, an
awful screeching, grating laugh, like wrenching metal or fingernails being
drawn across a blackboard.  They pulled on her arms, legs, hair, anything
they could get their hands to grip, pulling her away from me.  I tried to
scream for them to stop, to let her go, but no words escaped my mouth.

   I looked around quickly for a weapon, anything to beat their thin,
stick-like arms and twisted claw hands from Jenny, but found nothing.  As I
watched, they started to move away, dragging her with them.  She kicked,
ripped, tore at the grip of her captors, screaming my name, begging me to
help her.  I ran harder, my heart pounding in my throat.  As I came within
an arms distance to them I leapt, grasping at anything that would hold her
to me, save her from the ghouls that were taking her from me.  I felt cool
metal touch my palm, and grabbing it, pulled.  For a moment it strained
against my hand, then with a jerk fell loosely into my palm.

   As suddenly as they had appeared, they vanished, taking Jenny with them,
her screams fading into the distance as if she had fallen into a deep well.
Stopping, I fell to my knees, the sharp rocks that covered the
dust-scattered ground dug painfully into my knees.

   Her final cry echoed in my mind, the desperate plea falling onto my
helpless ears.  Looking down, I opened my hand.  The gleam of gold
glittered in my palm in the dim light.  A sob escaped my throat as I
realized it was her locket, the delicate chain broken, the final link
between us broken with it.

   *****



   A hand shook me violently.  The dreamscape faded to darkness, and I
opened my eyes.  The dim gray light of early morning spilled in from the
bedroom window.

   "Wake up, Alex, wake up!"

   "Wha...?" The nightmare fading, but the image of the dream still
violently fresh in my mind.  "Jenny!" I cried, sitting up and hugging her
tightly.  "Oh god, I'd thought I'd lost you!" I sobbed, holding her in a
death grip, never wanting to let go.  Her arms wriggled free of my grasp
and she hugged me back, reaching up to stroke my neck.

   "Alex, it was just a nightmare, a bad dream.  I'm not going anywhere."
she soothed.

   I slowly relaxed under her soft words and touch, enough to finally lie
down again.  I didn't let go, but she lay down with me.  As my breathing
returned to normal she pulled herself up, propping herself up on one elbow
until she was looking directly down at my face.  She brushed my hair off my
forehead then cradled my chin in her small hands, her slim fingers
massaging my temples.  I closed my eyes again as the clenched muscles of my
arms relaxed around her.  The small gold locket dangled from her neck, it's
small weight pressing into my breastbone, the chain intact.  I let out a
deep shuddering sigh as I told myself that it was all just a dream, a
random firing of synapses during REM sleep.  The logical side of me
believed it.  The emotional side didn't.

   I opened my eyes and looked into her concern filled eyes.

   "Sorry." I mumbled.

   "For what?"

   "For waking you up."

   She smiled, and leaned down and kissed me lightly.  "Let's go back to
sleep.  We don't have to get up for another two hours."

   "All right." I said as she relaxed, laying her head on my chest and
stroking my stomach, a now familiar position for us.  She closed her eyes,
and soon her hand slowed then stopped.  Her breathing evened out into the
soothing rhythm of deep slumber, but I still couldn't fall asleep.  The
image of the shadowed figures still hovered on the edge of my mind.  But
soon the relaxing feeling of her soft body pressing warmly against mine
took it's toll, and I managed to fall into a fitful sleep.

   *****



   I groaned when the alarm went off two hours later.  I felt like I'd
hardly slept.  I kissed Jenny good morning, and we climbed slowly out of
bed.  My back popped as I stood upright and stretched.  We stumbled toward
the shower, rubbing the sleep out of our eyes.

   Half and hour later while at the breakfast table I grumbled about having
to get up so early.  Jenny just smiled brightly and forced me to eat
another piece of toast.  I harumphed in response, mumbling about how
annoying morning people are to the people who aren't.

   The school day went by slowly, as it seemed to every day.  I slept,
read, or stared out the window during classes.  I lived for the evenings
and weekends, when I was able to get to know Jenny better.

   I introduced her to classical music, and she introduced me to the
pleasures of conversation with another intelligent person.  We would spend
many an evening sitting in our favorite spot in front of the fire, talking.
I think I said more words to her in the weeks we were together than I had
in my entire life up to that point.

   Things that I had previously believed only I thought about popped up
frequently in our discussions of anything and everything.  We found out
more about each others pasts, and what we wanted in the future.

   We also discovered something that I've never seen anyone duplicate, even
in the closest of couples.  We had virtually the same reading speeds.
Sometimes we'd just sit down, pop a Bach of Handel CD into the stereo, and
read a good book together.  It was a little eerie finishing a page in a
book, only to have someone else turn the page at just the right moment.
Jenny would usually lay back against my chest, with either her or I holding
the book.  The only time we would loose synch would be when one or the
other fell asleep, which seemed very easy to do with some of the books we
read.

   Kallie and I developed a tenuous friendship over time.  We would most
certainly have never of been friends if it hadn't been for Jenny; we were
just too different.  She was loud, brash, and would say most anything at
any time.  I was quiet, reserved, and would only say something with careful
consideration, if at all.  Jenny was middle of the road, quiet but straight
forward, but outgoing when in the mood.  In other words, we both clicked
with her, but clashed with each other.

   Jenny's parents didn't seem to be loosening up much, if at all.
According to Jenny's sister they still said nothing about her.  I didn't
really want them to, we were both happy the way it was, despite the
constant hovering of our problems outside the protective wall of our
relationship.

   Rumors started getting around about Jenny and I, though.  Getting dirty
looks from teachers and other students at school wasn't an uncommon
occurrence for me.  I pointedly ignored them, as did Jenny.  Someone had
apparently seen Jenny and I kissing in the hallway, and spread it around
school.  Considering how much attention we paid to our surroundings when we
kissed, it wasn't really surprising that we'd been seen.  At least the
rumor that had alienated Jenny from her family, and that had started the
whole affair between Jenny and I had been forgotten, except by Jenny's
parents.

   The house was looking better than it had in years, thanks to Jenny's
insistence that I no longer leave dirty dishes to rot, or soiled clothing
to lay around on the floor until I felt like doing a load of laundry.  We
shared the housework, each of us participating in making the meals and
cleaning up afterward.  Having another person there that cared about you to
help made it almost enjoyable.  Almost.

   Then, when all was quiet, we'd cuddle up together under the blankets and
fall asleep in each other's arms.  I had never been so utterly satisfied
with the way my life was going.  I had someone outlet my thoughts to,
someone to share my interests, and most importantly, someone to love more
than anything for the first time in my life.

   Then life changed on both of us, and our time together at that point in
out lives came to an end.

   End Chapter Eight

   Chapter 9 -------



   One Saturday morning I awoke to someone rapping on the door.  I stumbled
out of bed, only half awake as Jenny and I had been up late the night
before.  We never got up much before noon on weekends; we preferred to stay
in bed, curling up together and chatting sleepily.

   Pulling on my robe I stumbled down the stairs, wondering blearily who it
was.  Jenny never stirred as I got out of bed.  She could sleep through
almost anything, and I didn't have the heart to wake her.

   I pulled open the door, shivering as the February wind cut through the
thin material.  Standing at the door was a man and a woman.  The man was
slightly shorter than myself, somewhat of a fine build.  The woman was a
little over 5'4", her head even with the man's shoulders.  Both wore heavy
winter coats and jeans.  Both also looked a little uncertain.

   "Can I help you?" I asked, holding the robe closed with one hand, the
door with the other.  The man spoke first.

   "Sorry to bother you, but we were told that our daughter, Jenny, might
be staying here.  Is she?"

   I paused, shocked for a moment.  I had thought that we would have to go
to them, yet here they were, looking for her.  I figured that if they were
willing to come out here to a stranger's house to find her, they would most
likely be willing to talk reasonably to Jenny and I.

   "Yes, she is."

   "Could we...  speak to her?" the woman asked in a whisper-soft voice.  I
made a decision.

   "I don't know.  That's up to her.  Come in, and I'll go see if I can
wake her up." I held the door open for them to open.  I motioned them
toward the couch and jogged up the stairs.

   Jenny was still sleeping, her back to me.  The thought that this might
be the last time I'd see her sleeping like this cross my mind, so I looked
upon her for a moment, memorizing the way she looked, long hair spread over
the pillow, her face relaxed, eyes closed.  The covers had slipped down
when I had climbed out of bed revealing one pale shoulder, her slim arm
reaching under the quilt, the contour of her body showing through the heavy
comforter.  For a moment I seriously considered turning around and telling
her parents that she didn't want to talk to them.  But I told myself that
it was selfish to think that way.  I knew what it was like to be alienated
from my parents and I loved her too much to not give her the choice of
making up with them.

   Resigning myself, I walked over and sat on the bed.  I gently shook her
bare shoulder, memorizing the feel of her skin as my fingers trailed over
the smooth surface.

   Jenny turned over and smiled at me sleepily.  "Good morning." The smile
faded as she saw the look on my face.  "What's wrong?" She sat up on one
elbow, causing the comforter to slide down to her hip.  I looked at her
longingly, wishing for more time together.

   "Your parents are downstairs in the living room.  They want to talk to
you.  It's up to you, if you want to talk to them, do.  If not, I'll show
them the door."

   Shock registered on her face.  "They came here?" She fell limply back on
the bed.  Thinking quickly, she made her decision.

   "No, I'll talk to them.  We always knew that I would have to face them
eventually.  I guess now is the time." She slowly got out of bed.  "I'd
better get dressed."

   "Me too." I replied.

   "I don't know if I want you to go down there.  It's between me and my
parents.  You don't have to get involved."

   "I already am.  I told you in the beginning that I'd be there for you,
and that includes now." I said firmly.

   She nodded and smiled at me gratefully.  "I hoped you'd say that."

   We dressed quickly and walked into the living room a few minutes later.
Jenny's parents were sitting patiently on the couch.  When they heard us
come down the stairs they stood up and turned toward us.

   "Hello Jenny." her mother said.

   "Hello, Mom, Dad.  What are you doing here?"

   Jenny's mother spoke us.  "We heard that you were staying here, and were
wondering when you were going to come home."

   "Come home?  You made it pretty clear that I wasn't wanted when you
called me at school a month ago."

   "Your mother heard some rumors that we should have known better than to
believe." Jenny father said.  "Then we heard that you were staying here,
and that you were...  close to this young man over here." He nodded in my
direction.  "We finally figured out that the rumors were just rumors.  We
want you to come home, and your mother is sorry for what she said over the
phone." Jenny's mother bowed her head guiltily.

   "So will you come home?" her mother said.

   Jenny looked uncertain.  "Let me talk to Alex in private for a minute."
Her parents nodded, and Jenny took my hand, leading me into the kitchen.
"What do you think?" Jenny asked anxiously.

   "I don't trust them.  But the main question is, do you want to go with
them?  Do you trust them?  You would be the one living there, not me.  But
don't go because you think you're a burden on me.  You aren't, and I meant
it when you could stay as long as you liked."

   "But what about when you go to college?  What then?  You'll be
struggling for money, even without an extra mouth to feed."

   "We'll work something out." I said stubbornly.

   "Alex, I'd love to stay, but I can't.  I've over stayed my welcome as it
is.  Your Dad still isn't thrilled with me."

   I sighed.  "But I'm afraid that they're going to not let me see you, or
even hurt you."

   Jenny stepped closer to me, reaching up and caressing my cheek.  "They
won't hurt me.  And I'll see you no matter what, they can't keep us
separated all the time."

   "Are you sure?" I said, unconvinced.

   "Yes, I'm sure."

   "I guess I'm just afraid that I'm going to lose you." I sighed.

   "You aren't going to lose me.  I love you Alex, and nothing is going to
change that." She emphasized what she said by standing on tiptoe and
kissing me softly.

   I hugged her tight against me.  "God, I love you too.  I wish you
weren't going, but I know you think you have to." I took her by the
shoulders and looked into her eyes.  "I want you to come to me if anything
happens.  You mean more to me than anything else in the world.  I want you
to remember that.  You'll always be welcome with me.  I'd rather you stayed
here, but it's your life, and your decision.  I've never told you what to
do with your life, and I'm not going to start now."

   "I know, and I will." she said, eyes bright with tears, and I know mine
were the same way.  Holding hands, we walked back into the living room.

   "I'll come home with you." Jenny told them.  They smiled, their posture
slowly relaxing from the stiff-backed positions they'd been in.

   "Do you have anything you need to take with you?" her mother asked.

   Jenny reached up and felt the gold chain that held the locket I had
given her around her neck.  "No.  I have everything I need.  At least
everything I can take with me." she said, looking at me with a smile.

   Jenny's father nodded.  "Then you're ready to go?"

   "Yeah, I guess so."

   I didn't say anything, but led them to the door.

   "Thank you for letting Jenny stay with you." Jenny's mother said as I
opened the door to let them leave.

   "It was my pleasure." I smiled, and they walked out the door, Jenny
lagging behind.

   She paused, then turned to me.  Standing on her toes she kissed me on my
cheek.  "Now don't let this place go down the tubes without me here." she
joked.

   "I won't." I said, my throat constricting.  She smiled and walked to
where her parents were waiting beside a beat up sedan.  I watched as they
got in and drove away, Jenny waving at me from the back seat.  When they
disappeared from view, I stood there for several minutes, gazing down the
road in the direction they'd gone, chest feeling tight and painful.

   Finally, I turned to go back to the house.  It seemed empty, silent now
that she was gone.  Usually there was some sound of her activity in the
house, whether it was the sound of her breathing as I held her, or her
happy humming emanating from where ever she was.  Now all I could hear was
the sound of the wind beating at the house, and the sound of my heartbeat.
I felt hollow and numb as the person who had become part of me, and myself
part of her, drove away from me.  My eyes stung with tears as I sat and
stared at the cold ashes in the fireplace for a long time.

   End Chapter Nine

   Chapter Ten -----------



   I didn't sleep well that night, my thoughts constantly turning to Jenny,
wondering how she was, if she was getting along with her parents.  I missed
her warmth pressing against my side, the comfort and relaxation of holding
her in my arms, hearing her even breathing as she slept, her sweet scent of
her hair teasing my nose.  It took three hours for me to fall asleep, and
only then because I took a pillow and hugged it against me, trying to
pretend that it was Jenny.  It let me sleep, but it was no substitute for
her.

   I woke up the next morning dead tired.  The only reason I even bothered
to get up was so I would be able to see Jenny on the bus and at school.

   The morning seemed drearier than usual; but then again everything had
seemed dreary to me since Jenny had left.  The bus pulled up and I climbed
aboard.  I spotted Jenny sitting alone three seats back, and the day seemed
to brighten as I saw her smiling face looking at me, those dark eyes
connecting with mine.  I almost ran down the isle and took her into my
arms, not caring what anyone thought, just wanting to feel her against me
again, to feel loved.

   "I missed you too." Jenny laughed, and hugged me back.  I held her at
arms length and looked her over, running my hands over her as if looking
for broken bones.

   "You're all right?  They didn't do anything to you?" I said worriedly,
then hugged her against me again.

   "I'm fine, Alex.  I told you I would be."

   "Nothing happened?"

   "Nothing much.  I'll tell you when we can talk in private." She motioned
toward the other people looking on, most scowling, some smiling.  I relaxed
against the seat, and Jenny repositioned herself so she was leaning against
me, my back to the wall of the bus.  The bus driver kept looking up at us
in his mirror, most of the other kids kept stealing glances at us as well.
We rode the rest of the way to school, almost oblivious to the people
around us, locked in our own small ball of warmth.  We skipped first period
and headed for one of the store rooms I knew of; you learn the hiding
places when you're bullied as a kid.  I hadn't been bullied in years, ever
since I had suffered through my growth spurt.  Bullies don't bug you much
when they know you can hit harder than they can.

   Once we were safely locked in the storage room we cuddled up on a pile
of old gym mats stacked in the corner.  One dim sixty watt bulb illuminated
the ten foot square room, most of it claimed by fifty years of discarded
junk.

   "You look exhausted." she told me.

   "You don't look too wide awake yourself." I told her.  "You have bags
under your eyes at least as big as mine, and you're a lot smaller than I
am." I teased.

   "Well, I couldn't sleep.  I'm to used to feeling your bear of a body
holding me.  Plus my parents made me sleep on the couch.  Apparently they
aren't entirely sure that the rumors weren't true, since my sister and I
usually share a room.  It's like they don't want to risk 'infecting' their
only other daughter."

   "That's dumb.  Of course, knowing them it's not so surprising.  Anything
else happen?"

   "Nothing much else.  They treated me pretty nicely, except for making me
sleep on the couch.  I don't know if my back will ever recover.  I never
realized how lumpy a couch could be until I slept on that thing.  It should
be thrown in the dump."

   I laughed.  "Turn over and I'll see if I can work the kinks out of your
back."

   She rolled over gratefully.  Pulling her shirt up, I started working on
her back, hoping some janitor wouldn't walk in on us.

   She let out little groans and sighs of contentment, her tense muscles
loosening under my touch.  Soon she stopped making noise, and the steady
rhythm of her breath indicated that she had fallen asleep.  I pulled her
shirt back down and lay next to her, watching her sleep.  At some point I
must have fallen asleep as well.

   We didn't wake up until halfway through lunch period.  We cursed as we
hurriedly straightened out our clothes and hair, and snuck out of the
closet.  Kallie was sitting at our usual table.  We hurriedly told her what
had happened, finishing right before the bell rang.  Jenny and I parted
reluctantly, each heading for our separate classes.



   The next few months progressed rapidly.  Jenny's parents loosened up
more as word of our romance spread through town.  I received more dirty
looks than ever, but I was happy if it made Jenny's life easier at home.
Her parents made no move to stop us from seeing each other, apparently glad
to have her seeing someone four years older than she was rather than
another girl.  I became disgusted more and more with school as the teachers
and administrators got it into their heads to punish the 'cradle robber'.
Finally I just took the test for the GED and quit high school.  A month
later I left for college, just in time to catch the beginning of spring
quarter.  Jenny saw me off in a tearful goodbye.  Leaving her there was
probably the hardest thing I'd ever done, but she still had several years
of school left.

   I flew down to New Mexico, having my few possessions sent down after me.
Jenny and I wrote every day without fail.  College was tough, but I
struggled through it, flourishing in a school that finally challenged my
intelligence.  For a while it was school, study, write to Jenny, and work.

   Things at home degraded for Jenny as her parents apparently came to the
conclusion that she had no where to run to now that I was gone.  More than
one letter had tear stains on it as she wrote about her latest fight with
her parents.  They had her sleeping in her room again, but now her sister
was sleeping on the couch instead.  Her sister and Kallie were the only
ones she could talk to or depend on, except through our letters.

   Then one day the letters stopped.  One moment we were going full bore, a
five to ten page letter every day; the next, my mailbox was empty.  I
prayed that it was just a disruption in the mail system, that one day I'd
get a load of letters in the mail.  I sent letter after letter back to her,
begging her to write back.  I never got an answer.

   I worried that she had met someone else, that she had forgotten about
me. I tried to dismiss that, thinking she would have still told me or that
there would have been some hint in her letters, but I read our old letters
over and over searching for a hint as to why she'd stopped writing.

   My mind dwelled on her, my school work began to degrade, and one night I
was almost fired from my job.  A week passed where I somehow drug my feet
through the day.  The teachers asked me what was bothering me; one day I
was one of their brightest students, the next I was in a nose dive and
failing miserably.

   Worse, the dreams returned, lasting longer and seeming more clear than
ever before.  I would wake up screaming, twisted in my sheets, dripping
with sweat.  The dark faces of Jenny's captors haunted me, blurred in my
mind, but now I knew them; they were the faces of Jenny's parents.  Twisted
and distorted with a horrific quality, but their faces just the same.

   Two more weeks passed, and I pulled myself up and threw myself into my
work.  I stayed up all night, took a second job when school let out for the
summer, and began to drive myself toward exhaustion and most likely
eventual breakdown.  My eyes were constantly bloodshot.  Bags perpetually
hung under my eyes, and I began to consider flying up to see her, just to
have some closure.

   One night when I was studying, the doorbell rang.  I stood up wearily
from the chair and trudged toward the door.  Pulling it open, I stared,
open mouthed.

   Jenny stood there in the doorway, looking more haggard than I had ever
seen her.  Her hair was in tangles, her grimy-looking clothing torn.  She
stooped, leaning against the door frame.  When she looked up at me, the
look in her eyes tore at my heart, the look of someone who has had her soul
ripped out and stepped on.

   "Alex?" her voice quavered.

   "Jenny?" I gasped.  She stepped toward me and stumbled on the door
frame. Rushing forward I grabbed her before she could fall to the floor.  I
picked her up, feeling how light she was, much lighter than I had
remembered her to be.  I carried her to the couch and sat down, cradling
her in my arms.  She began to cry, clinging to me like I was the last
strand in a fraying rope.  I held her and cried with her.

   She kept saying Alex, Alex, over and over, sobbing, tears running down
her face.  I held her for a long time, gently rubbing her back, brushing
away her tears.  Eventually she calmed down enough to tell me how and why
she had come to me.  She told me the story, breaking into tears at the more
difficult parts.

   "I stopped writing because my parents wouldn't let me.  It got so bad
that I was a prisoner in my own home, not allowed her to leave except for
school, and eventually, they didn't even let me go to that.  I fought with
them, but when I did, they would stop feeding me.  When they thought I had
been really bad, they locked me in the shed out back, sometimes for only an
hour or two, sometimes longer.  Once they locked me in there in the dark
for three days, with only a little water and bread.

   "My little sister slipped me some things but she couldn't do much,
because if she told she probably wouldn't have been believed, then they
might have done the same thing to her.  Then one night my Dad caught me
looking at the locket you gave me, and demanded that I give it to him.  It
was the last thing I had to remember you by, the only thing that kept me
sane.  And he wanted to take it away from me!

   "I refused, and he started to threaten me.  I still said no.  Then he
grabbed me, and tried to tear it from around my neck.  I still have the
marks." she paused, pulling down her t-shirt, showing the still purple
bruises on her shoulders and neck.

   "I fought back, kicking and screaming.  I scratched his face, then he
started cursing.  He hit me hard, in the chest, making me fall to my knees,
then he slapped me, hard.  I collapsed down onto the floor, crying.  Then
he kicked me in the stomach, and I threw up.  Not wanting to be hurt
anymore, I stayed on the floor, crying.  He reached down and pulled the
locket off my neck, and stomped off to his room.  I managed to get up, and
ran out the door when no one was watching."

   She was crying so hard at this point that she could hardly catch her
breath, much less talk.  I had her stop until she calmed down.  After a few
minutes of me quietly rocking her, she managed to continue.

   "I ran down the road, crying.  A woman in a car saw me running and
pulled over.  She got me into the car and wanted to take me to a doctor,
thinking I'd been raped or something.  But I said no, and convinced her to
take me to Kallie's instead.

   "I didn't want her family to see me like I was, so I climbed in her
bedroom window, and waited for her to come in.  She was surprised to see
me, since she hadn't seen me in weeks.  I told her what had happened, and
she started to cry, too.  She got me cleaned up some, but couldn't loan me
any clothes that fit, so I had to wear these.

   "She got me to the bus station and onto a bus to you, since she couldn't
hide me.  After all, she can barely change clothes without being walked in
on.  I was scared to death that my parents would come after me, anyway.  It
took her life savings, but she did it for me, to get me safe.  I rode the
bus for three days, sleeping either on the bus or in the station.  The
police almost got me once, but I ran away and hid until they gave up.
Finally I got here, and managed to find your apartment.  I don't know what
I would have done if I hadn't had your address memorized."

   I sat in shocked silence for a few seconds after she finished her story.
I hated myself for letting this happen to her; I should have flown up these
as soon as I stopped getting her letters.  But who I was especially mad at
was her parents, particularly her father.  Any parents who could treat
their child this way deserved anything that happened to them.

   "God, I'm so sorry Jenny.  I should never have left you with them,
never. I should have known something like this would happen after I left."

   "No, Alex, don't blame yourself.  I was the one that went back with
them. I could have stayed with you, but I didn't.  It's my fault." she said
miserably.

   "Jenny, don't ever blame yourself for this." I said vehemently.  "No one
deserves to be treated the way you were treated by those people.  I
shouldn't even call them people, they don't deserve it.  I promise you that
I will never let them hurt you again, no matter what."

   "How?  They'll be looking for me.  They have the letters, they know
where you live."

   "Well, I'll just have to get to them first.  I'll think of something.
But right now we need to get you something to eat, and then get you to a
doctor."

   "I don't need a doctor, Alex.  All it is are a few bruises."

   "Still, I'll feel better once we get you checked out, if anything just
for evidence against your parents."

   She sighed.  "Okay, as long as I get something to eat first.  I haven't
eaten more than a candy bar in three days."

   "Three days?  No wonder you're so weak!  Just a minute, I hope I have
something in the fridge."

   I carefully slid her off my lap and got up, leaving her to rest on the
couch while I went to the kitchen.  First I whipped up some sandwiches for
starters, then put a big pot of soup on.  I watched her demolish the plate
of sandwiches while I called my doctor.  I knew him from the few times I
had seen him, and hoped I could convince him to see us on such short
notice. I also hoped to get him to not say anything about it to anyone.
God knows I couldn't take her to the hospital, child protective services
would get their hooks into her and I'd lose her to the system.  A plan had
begun to form in my mind, and I'd have to be careful to carry it out
successfully.  If I did, Jenny and I never needed to be separated again.

   Jenny finished the sandwiches and three bowls of soup before she sat
back, full.  I let her rest for a few minutes, and then helped her to the
used car I had bought to get to and from work and school.  Jenny fell
asleep in the passenger seat during the thirty minute ride across town.  I
let her sleep, figuring she needed it.

   Doctor Sampson met us at the door, and we both helped her into an
examination room and onto the table.  He appeared as shocked at her
condition as I had been.  I left the room, telling Jenny that I'd be right
out in the waiting room if she needed me.  She protested, but Dr.  Sampson
and I managed to put her at ease.  I waited nervously in the waiting room
as the doctor examined her.

   A few minutes later he walked out of the examination room looking grim.
He sat next to me in the empty room, looking at me sternly.

   "How is she?" I asked anxiously.

   "She's malnourished and has numerous bruises all over her body.  She
hasn't slept well in weeks, and she shies away from anyone who tries to
touch her.  There's nothing seriously wrong with her, but psychologically
it's going to take a long time to recover.  Now who did this to her?  Where
is she from?  What's her name?  How do you know her?  God help me, if you
did that to her..." he said angrily.

   "I didn't.  I could never do that to anyone, much less her.  It was her
parents.  The bruises came from her father.  He beat her when she refused
to give something to him.  They kept her locked up for weeks, feeding her
very little or not at all if they felt like it.

   "We're close...  friends, and her name and where she's from is no
concern, at least until I'm sure you're not going to tell anyone until I've
had time to make sure that she won't be put back with her parents, or taken
away and put in a home."

   He sighed, leaning back and looking at me speculatively.  "Tell me what
you're planning on doing.  If I agree with your plan, I won't tell anyone,
at least not yet.  I've seen kids go through foster care.  Some of the
homes they put them in would be almost as bad as the one she came from."

   I nodded.  "I was planning on using what I know against them, to get
them to turn over guardianship of her to me."

   He made a face, "That's risky, you know.  They might not give in, or
worse, they could say you did that to her.  She's young, and her court
testimony could be considered questionable."

   "Still, I have to try.  If I can scare them enough, I'm sure they'll do
it.  Do I have your cooperation if it falls though?  Would you testify on
my behalf?"

   "I think you're telling the truth, yes.  I've seen how she clings to
you. I don't think she would do that if you had done that to her.  I'd
testify to that."

   I let out a sigh of relief.  "Thanks Doctor."

   "I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing it for that little girl in there
who's been through a hell of a lot.  I want you to take her home, clean her
up, make sure she's well fed, and put her to bed.  I don't want her moving
anywhere until she's strong enough and has gained some weight back."

   "I understand." We stood up, and walked back to where Jenny was sitting
on the examination table, staring idly at the wall.  She brightened as I
walked into the room.  She tried to jump off the table, and almost fell as
her weakened knees buckled under her weight until the Doctor and I held her
up.

   "Can we go now?" she asked, looking up at the doctor.

   "Yes, you can go.  But listen to me, young lady.  You're to stay in bed
the next few days, and let Alex here take care of you.  You're to eat when
he tells you to, sleep when he tells you to, and pretty much do anything
else he says within reason.  Then you need to come back and see me in a
week."

   "Yes, sir." she said, taking my arm in her hands and holding it against
her, huddling up against my side.

   "Fine, then.  Go home and get some rest."

   We helped Jenny out to the car, and I drove her home.  She fell asleep
again, so I carried her into my apartment.  I undressed her, amazed at how
thin she had become.  Where once had been a smooth, sleek body with a trace
of baby fat was now so thin that I could count her ribs plainly.  Her pubic
bone stood out, and I winced at the purple and black bruises on her arms,
chest, and stomach.

   I undressed myself, and filled the tub.  We soaked for half an hour, her
dozing and me cleaning her gently and washing her hair, working out the
dirt and tangles that had accumulated over the last few weeks.

   I woke her when it was time to get out, and rubbed her softly with a
fresh towel until she looked almost like she had when we were living
together.  Hopefully she would begin to look like that again, as long as I
could keep her out of her parents' grasp.

   Pulling back the covers on my bed, I lay her on the clean sheets, the
first clean bed that she had likely been on in weeks.

   Climbing in after her, I tugged the covers over us.  She cuddled against
me, sighing happily as she sank into my protective embrace.

   Her breathing deepened, and she fell into relaxed sleep as I held her, a
small smile gracing her lips, contented.  I swore again to protect her
against anything that might try to hurt her ever again.  Eventually I too
fell asleep, the first sleep in months that was not tormented by horrific
nightmares.

   End Chapter Ten

   Chapter Eleven -----------



   Jenny woke up screaming many times that first night, her experiences of
the last few months coming back to haunt her.  She would shake like a leaf
for a few minutes until I managed to reassure her that she was safe, then
drift off, only to wake up screaming an hour or so later.  Finally, she
settled down around four a.m.

   I woke a little before two in the afternoon, Jenny still sleeping beside
me.  Slipping out of bed, I prepared a big brunch for the two of us.
Loading a tray, I carried it into the bedroom.  I set it on the night
stand, then sat on the bed next to her and gently shook her shoulder.  She
slowly opened her eyes and looked up into my face hovering over hers.

   "Please let this be real." she whispered.  She reached up and touched my
face, her hand sweeping down from my ear to cradle my chin.

   "It is real!" she sighed happily, and kissed me.

   "Feeling better?" I asked, smiling down at her after the kiss ended.

   "Yes, a lot better.  I'm starving, though."

   "Ah, but I've already thought of that." I reached behind me and set the
tray on her lap.  Her face brightened and she dug in, almost as ravenously
as the night before.

   "Slowly, Jenny.  There's more where that came from.  We need to fatten
you up."

   "If you keep feeding me like this, I'll have to roll out of bed just to
get up!"

   I laughed.  "Better to have you over nourished than undernourished."
Settling back, I watched her eat.  I wasn't particularly hungry, and she
was eating enough food for the both of us.  A few minutes later she began
to slow down, however.  I coaxed her to eat a few more bites, but finally
she just fell back against the pillow, groaning.

   "Full?" I questioned, rubbing her stomach.

   "Very.  I haven't felt this good in a long time."

   "Neither have I." I paused.  "Do you know how much I missed you, Jenny?"

   "No, but I know how much I missed you, and I'm sure you missed me just
as much." she smiled.

   "I dreamt about you every night.  When your letters stopped coming, I
just, well, fell apart.  I couldn't work, I couldn't concentrate at school.
My mind just kept drifting to you.  I was worried sick, but I didn't come
to see you.  I was worried that you had found someone else, someone closer
to your own age, and didn't want to hurt me any more than you had to." I
took a deep breath.  "I guess I just want to say that I'm sorry.  Sorry for
letting them hurt you, and sorry for doubting you."

   "Why?" she asked gently.  "This is the second time you've taken me in,
both times when I felt things couldn't get any worse.

   "You've fed me, taken me to a doctor, and cared for me when no one else
was able to.  You couldn't have stopped my parents from doing what they
did, and it wasn't your fault that I went back there when I knew what they
were capable of."

   "But I should have shown up earlier, stopped them before your father
could hit you, before they could abuse you like they did..." I trailed off
as Jenny sat up took my head between her hands, staring urgently into my
eyes.

   "Alex, I love you but you can be so thick headed sometimes!  Listen to
me.  It wasn't your fault.  They did it to me, not you.  There wasn't a
single thing you could do about it, you were thousands of miles away at the
time."

   "I still feel guilty."

   "I don't know what I'm going to do with you." she sighed.

   "Keep me?" I asked with a small smile.

   She smiled back, "I wouldn't sell you for anything, much less give you
up."

   "That's good to know."

   She rested her head on my chest and listened to my heartbeat, as if she
was still on some level unsure of whether or not I really existed.  I
played with her hair as I thought.

   "If I told you that I had an idea that might let you stay with me
permanently, if it worked out, what you say?"

   "I'd say that would be perfect.  I can't remember a time that I've been
happier than I was for that month living with you."

   "Well I think I might know how."

   She sat up and looked at me in surprise.  "Really?  How?"

   "We have enough evidence to convict them on child abuse charges,
assault, child neglect, and whatever else a lawyer and I can dream up.  I
was thinking about blackmailing them into signing custody of you over to
me. I'm over eighteen years old.  I could be your legal guardian, and you
could live with me until you're eighteen.  Or longer." I added shyly.

   "Oh Alex, I'd love to!  It would be perfect, I'd never have to leave you
again!" She hugged me tightly, giving me a big kiss.

   "Wait, wait.  We don't know if it will work yet or not.  Your parents
might refuse.  But I'm going to make it damn difficult for them to do so,
and if they don't...  well, I'll deal with that if it happens.  Legally or
not, I'm not letting them take you back there again, ever."

   "Whatever you want to do, you have my consent, as long as I don't have
to see them."

   "You won't.  I promise."

   Jenny cuddled up next to me again, closing her eyes sleepily.  Dr.
Sampson had said that she'd be sleeping a lot over the next few days as her
body healed itself.  I stroked her hair, my fingers tracing down her back.
The hard knobs of her vertebrae were easily felt with my fingertips through
her skin.  Anger over what they had done to her, the only person I had ever
truly loved, filled me again.  How they could treat someone the way they
had treated her amazed me.  It amazed me even more that they had done it to
their own daughter, someone that they were supposed to protect and love,
not starve and beat.

   She eventually fell asleep under my loving touch, and I held her and
stared at the ceiling, wondering about the future of humanity.  If we
couldn't even care properly for our children, how were we ever going to get
along without wiping ourselves off the planet, like some bacteria being
wiped off the surface of a dirty petrii dish by a high school biology
student?

   My mind also wandered to the reasons why people fall in love.  Was it
some instinct, driven by the chemical reactions in the brain we call
emotions?  Why did we get so much pleasure from another's touch?  Simple
hormones, or something more, something deep in the consciousness of every
human, even in the minds of the most horrific people in human history?
Hitler had children, a wife.  He likely loved them, despite his atrocities.


   Then why couldn't two people in a remote town in the western United
States simply love their daughter, the way that I loved her?

   Why did they have to do such horrible things, even though they claimed
to follow "The teachings of God"?  Why did the Crusades happen?  Why the
holy wars in the middle east, over something as simple as a few square
miles of territory that was said to be "Holy"?  Why did people desire power
over other people, at any cost, even the lives or the happiness of those
you love?  Strive for what you think is right, no matter if it's right or
not or interferes with what others think is right.  Opinions are
everything, and yours are always the best for you, your family, and all of
humanity.  "The grand future awaits us, just follow me, and all will be
saved" they say.  They, as in the politicians, the religious leaders, the
dictators, and the leaders of the large and small nations of the world.

   The smart over the stupid, the powerful over the weak.  Then we look
back, and try to see the whole picture, beyond this tiny speck in the
universe we call home, to the great beyond.  Then you look back and see
nothing can be more important than two people in love, two people that care
for each other more than anything else in that big black void we call a
universe.

   More than anything in the universe, you say?  How could anything be more
important than the universe?  What binds together life?  Proteins, amino
acids?  What use is the universe if no one is able to observe it,
happenings great and small?  What's the point if we destroy ourselves in
the process of worrying about what will happen the next day, over mere tiny
fractions of a micron of mass in comparison to the universe, mass we happen
to live on, which we call "land"?  What is the point in killing one another
over political power, which is simply another name for control over our
fellow human beings?

   When it's all simplified, all we have are a few minute chemical
reactions in an organic mass that we call our bodies; the thoughts, the
emotions, the ideas.  That is what we need to guard, not land, not
happiness, not freedom.  Certainly, freedom and happiness are important to
life.  But what use is happiness when your mind is empty?  You might as
well be a well fed house cat.  What's the use of freedom if you have
nothing more to do than swim in circles until you die, like the salmon?

   Thoughts and ideas are the fabric of consciousness.  Those seemingly
random electrical impulses racing along nerve paths, the hormones flooding
the brain in response to a simple touch.  When two people connect, share
consciousness in however rudimentary way, ideas grow exponentially.

   Our greatest assets are not the national forests, the mineral reserves,
or glittering metals and chemical compounds.  Our greatest asset is each
other.  No one person can put together the most complex space mission, no
one person can save wildlife from being destroyed, no one person can stop
the violence.  No one person can save humanity.

   Jenny and I had connected all those months before, during the cold
winter months in northern Oregon.  Even if humanity wiped itself out
sometime in the future, we would have shared those thoughts, those ideas,
those feelings.  Chemical reactions, yes.  But have they made a difference
in the long run, those few billionths of a second in comparison to the eons
of time?

   I hope so.

   End Chapter Eleven

   Chapter Twelve --------------



   Jenny spent the next week in bed, being fed the most fattening foods I
could find.  She enjoyed everything from chocolate cake with ice cream to
strawberries and whipped cream.  She had gained several pounds by the end
of the week, her ribs receding under a healthy layer of body fat.
Thankfully, her dreams seemed to fade some.  She began to sleep better,
only waking once or twice a night.  The only time I left the apartment was
for groceries.  I had taken time off work, wanting to be sure to be there
to take care of her through the first few weeks.

   We visited Dr.  Sampson the following week, and he announced Jenny to be
progressing satisfactorily.  He told her to get out and get a little
exercise so that the gained weight wouldn't turn into fat with no muscle to
back it up.  Jenny and I laughed about the later, her days in bed were a
combination of rest, food, and periods of intense activity.  I'm sure you
can guess what was going on during those periods of intense activity; our
passion for each other hadn't declined in the least since we had last been
together.

   We began to take morning walks, morning being the only suitable time to
do any sort of exercise outdoors, at least until Jenny had adjusted better
to the climate.  We used the time to talk, discussing any of a million
topics.  It still amazed me how much information she had managed to jam
into her head in the short span of fourteen years.  She did well in history
and English, while I excelled in science.  While she enjoyed poetry and
Shakespeare, I enjoyed philosophy and science fiction.

   We had a lot to learn from each other, and about each other, mentally
and physically.  We had thought we had known each other's bodies well
before, but one of us had never been stuck in bed for a couple of weeks
either.

   I talked to a few lawyers, and found one willing to write up the papers
for what little money I had.  At then end of the second week I was certain
that Jenny was well enough for me to leave for a few days.  Then I spoke to
Dr.  Sampson, and he agreed to let Jenny stay with his wife and himself for
the few days that I was gone.  I didn't want to leave Jenny alone,
especially if someone showed up at our apartment.

   Jenny protested, saying she could take care of herself, but I didn't
budge.  She was a little huffy when a couple of days later I dropped her
off at the Sampson's house, but I knew she understood my reasons.

   I caught an early flight to Portland, and then caught a smaller plane to
Sandville.  Renting a car, I drove to the house and picked up the clothes
Jenny had left behind there when she went home with her parents.  Jenny had
been forced to wear some of my clothes during the few times she had been
dressed over the last couple of weeks.  The last of my money had gone to
the lawyer and the plane tickets so we couldn't afford new ones, especially
when we had some already, provided we wait until I could get back from
Oregon.

   Signs that my Father had come and gone a few times since I had left
remained in a small stack of moldy dishes next to the sink.  The house had
taken on the musty smell a building gets when it hasn't been lived in for a
while.  It was summer now, and a family of robins had nested in the chimney
judging from the constant chirping emanating hollowly from the fireplace. I
dared not stop to rest, fearing I might loose my nerve completely.

   I piled the clothes into a few boxes and tossed them in the back seat of
the car.  Thinking fondly of my old friends, I stopped by the Walker's
place for a moment to say hello.  Mrs.  Walker tried to get me to stay for
lunch, but I refused saying I had business that I had to attend to before
anything else.

   "Maybe dinner." I told her, since my plane didn't leave until the next
day.  I hoped that dealing with Jenny's parents would take a small portion
of the time I had until then.  Mrs.  Walker pushed a fresh cinnamon roll
into my hand as I said goodbye and climbed into the car.

   My nervousness increased with every foot the car traveled closer to my
confrontation with Mr.  and Mrs.  Baker.  I had the documents securely in a
manila envelope on the passenger seat.

   As I drove up the driveway, I composed myself and put a professional,
take-no-crap look on my face.  Mr.  Baker came out the front door as I
climbed out of my car in of the small, slightly run-down house.  When he
saw who it was, he got a surprised look on his face and called back inside
for his wife.  She came out, wiping her hands on her apron.  I walked up to
them, manila envelope under my arm.

   "I need to talk to you about a few legal matters, Mr.  and Mrs.  Baker."
I said coldly.  "Can I please come inside so we can talk this over more
privately?"

   "What do ya want to talk to us about exactly?" Mr.  Baker asked, a
suspicious look on his face.

   "Let's just say it includes one of your daughters that no longer lives
with you." I let a little of the hatred I felt for both of them leak into
the look.  Mr.  Baker's face hardened, while Mrs.  Baker's paled slightly.

   Mr.  Baker thought it over for a second, and then nodded.  Climbing up
the creaky stairs, they ushered me inside through the dark front hallway
and into the slightly brighter living room.  It smelled of stale cigar
smoke, and most of the furniture looked as if it had been sitting there
since the early 70's, and was about as clean.  They sat, and I took a chair
across from them.

   "So where's our daughter?" he asked.

   "Where she is is of no consequence to you.  I'm here to let you know
that you are never seeing your daughter again.  You will also sign over
legal guardianship of Jenny to me."

   "And why would we want to do that?" Mr.  Baker scoffed.  Mrs.  Baker
just sat, her fingers gripping the arm of the sofa so tightly it looked as
if the bright orange material was about to tear off in her hands.

   "I think you know why.  I have evidence against you and Mrs.  Baker that
would convict you both of various forms of child abuse, ranging from simple
neg