I fancied the hell out of Brian the first time I saw him. It was in
the first English class I went to at my new school, and he was seated
four chairs in front of me and to the right. He sat there absorbed in
something he was doodling on a pad, his hair flopped slightly forward
and shoulders hunched. I could see that under his t-shirt he was about
as thin as I was, and the observation was backed up by the calves which
jutted out from beneath his long board shorts and disappeared into
white socks surrounded by his artfully untied Nikes. There was a light
blonde fuzz on every bit of his tanned flesh that I could see, though
since that included the back of his neck, one forearm and a couple of
calves, that wasn't too surprising.
He would have been the student paying least attention to the class had
I not been totally absorbed in watching him. Let's backtrack here for a
minute. At the time, I was the only gay person I knew. At thirteen, I
was definitely gay. I wasn't going through a phase. At ten or eleven, I
might have been going through a phase, but three years later? I don't
think so... I was also lacking a certain level of physical development,
which as any young boy will tell you is the worst thing in the world.
Sure, I'd grown a little, and not only in height, over the past few
years, but certain things that would have made me happy were
conspicuous by their absence. I don't think I need to go into the gory
details.
I was sitting in a new English class in a new school because my dad had
been relocated. Not for the first time, I might add, but at least this
time it looked like we might have settled properly for a while. The new
position was pretty permanent -- you either stayed in the management
place for about ten years and then got promoted, or you got made
redundant. I knew my dad was pretty good at what he did, so I figured
that there was every chance we'd be in the same city for long enough
for me to reach adulthood. Which was great because it looked like I
might actually be able to make some friends and keep them.
I was kind of glad that I never came out and found a boyfriend in the
previous place we'd lived in, so there were no strong connections torn
when we left. All the friends I had made were in contact via e-mail,
and I could see them once in a while anyway, so I didn't feel that
displaced. Of course, by the time I'd spotted Brian, I was still
friendless in the new town. I didn't worry -- it was usually a while in
a new place before I found the kind of people I didn't have to act up
around, so I figured I'd bide my time and things would sort themselves
out.
I sat ignoring the English teacher, whose name I'd already forgotten,
instead closely watching Brian. Fortunately my little friend was
behaving himself, and there was no tent to hide in my pants for once.
Usually when I stared at a hot guy and daydreamed about him I would get
hard as nails and nothing would make it go down except a quick visit to
the toilet. This time, though, I was able to sit fairly normally, and
hide my staring by pretending to be intently focussed on the blackboard
rather than on the boy twenty feet in front of it. His hair was truly
amazing, brown with blonde streaks, a little long but not enough to
fall past his ears, and silky smooth by the look of the way the light
fell upon it. I watched the muscles on his left arm flex slightly as he
drew, wondering what he was making a picture of, and also wondering
whether I could remember the last left-handed boy I had fancied.
Of course, given time it came to me -- Nathan. Two schools back, when I
was only ten. He had shoulder length blonde hair and gorgeous feminine
looks, and the closest I had ever got to him was being on the same swim
team for a couple of weeks. I don't think we ever spoke more than two
sentences to each other, but I lusted after him from afar, and envied
his abilities as a swimmer. I was a strong swimmer -- the only sport I
was any good at, since everything else required levels of coordination
that I simply didn't possess -- but Nathan was like a fish. He would
cut through the water as if he had been born there and it was unnatural
for him to be walking around on land. After the first time I saw him
swimming, I really had to check his hands and feet for signs of
webbing. Needless to say I didn't see any, though that didn't stop me
checking him out. Anyway, I digress, this is a story about Brian.
The end of the lesson came and went, and I suddenly realised people
were moving around me. Snapping out of my trance, I quickly shoved my
books into my bag and slung it over my shoulder as I stood up. Straight
into Brian. At the time, I still didn't know his name. Face flushing
bright red, I mumbled an apology, which was graciously accepted with
another mumble and a shy smile. His face was just as lovely as I
remembered it from when he walked into the room at the beginning of the
lesson, and the smile only served to heighten his good looks. And then
he was gone again, moved along in the tide of students pouring from the
classroom. I was left standing, rooted to the spot, though fortunately
my predicament was hidden by the fact that I couldn't barge my way
through the crowd anyway.
I couldn't believe the effect he had on me with that one smile. My
heart was beating hard and fast, so much so that I could hear it
pounding in my ears. I kept looking for Brian for the rest of the day,
but to no avail. He wasn't in any more of my classes, and I began to
worry that it might all have been a dream, that I'd imagined the
fantastic vision of boyhood.
That thought, though, flew out of my mind at my locker after school
that afternoon when I found that Brian's locker was right next to mine.
I closed my door to find him looking my way, and once more he gave me
that electric smile. He extended his hand, and spoke.
"Tom, right?" he asked. I could only nod my head and grin like an idiot
as I shook his hand. His voice was angelic, untouched by puberty. "I'm
Brian. You nearly had me on my ass there in English, you know."
For the briefest of moments, I thought he was angry with me, and I was
about to apologise when I saw the grin on his face -- he was joking. I
really can't remember what I said, but it can't have been the most
intelligent response. And then he was gone once more, explaining that
he'd be late home if he didn't hurry, and his mum was expecting him. I
watched him go, daydreaming once more, and was startled out of my
reverie by the nasal voice of the rent-a-nerd who'd shown me around the
school the previous day.
"You don't want to be seen too much with him, Tom," said the boy, whose name I hadn't even tried to remember.
"Why not?"
"Well, he's.. you know!"
I didn't know, and didn't have the chance to ask, because the other boy
was soon gone himself. I was left alone in what suddenly seemed like a
very empty corridor. I stood thinking for a minute, and then it
occurred to me that "you know' might just have meant "gay'. I held
myself back from fantasising that it might be true, but only for a few
minutes. Then it was daydreaming all the way back to my new house, then
all afternoon and half the evening, sat at my desk failing to work as I
stared out of the window. Every so often a boy would wander down our
street past my window, but none of them were Brian. That night my daily
fantasy was filled with thoughts of what Brian might look like topless,
or even naked. I imagined the soft, downy fuzz on his arms and legs. I
dreamed of kissing his soft, full lips. And above all, I dreamed of
slowly making love to him. It was one of the most amazing climaxes of
my young life.
I woke un-refreshed from a night full of dreams. Dreams of Brian and
nothing else. I stumbled sleepily around the house, so much so that my
mum asked whether I was ill or not, and said that she thought perhaps I
better stay home from school. At that suggestion, I perked up
considerably -- I wasn't the world's biggest fan of school, but it
wasn't that bad, and there was no way I was going to pass up the
opportunity to see Brian again. I spent ages at my locker that morning,
trying to find a reason to stay there until Brian turned up.
I was just about out of excuses not to go to my first class when he
strolled up, flashing me a smile before delving into his locker
briefly. When he'd got his books, we established that we both had
history together first thing, and decided to walk to the class
together, chatting along the way. He seemed a really nice guy, and I
couldn't imagine any reason why people would want to stay away from
him, even if they did suspect he was gay.
Walking into the class, I could see that the reception wasn't exactly
friendly, though nor was it hostile. It was simply indifferent. People
didn't notice Brian, and he didn't seem to notice them. He just put his
head down and walked to the back of the class. I took one of the few
remaining empty seats, the one immediately to his left, and when he saw
me sitting down he smiled.
Throughout the day we had a handful more classes together, and by the
time school was finished for the day we were firm friends. It amazes me
to think back to a time when I could make friends in a day. Adult
friendships are so much more complicated! Once again, Brian had to rush
off, since his mum expected him to be home right after school. I was
later to find out that this was because he had to look after his
younger sister while his mum, a single parent, went out to work a night
shift. But before he left, he'd already invited me to his house over
the weekend, and I'd agreed.
I walked home on cloud nine, almost losing my way because I wasn't
concentrating on where my feet were taking me. As it was, I found
myself wandering through the park our house backed on to, and entering
our garden through the back gate. I had to convince my mum that I had
intentionally taken a walk through the park because it was such a nice
day, and I think she just about believed me. I told her about Brian in
the most restrained way I could -- she still wasn't aware of my
orientation, and I wasn't about to start mentioning boys I fancied at
school.
The weekend couldn't come fast enough for me. Though Brian and I had a
few more classes together on Thursday and Friday, and spent lunchtimes
together, we really didn't have enough time to satisfy me. Or him, it
seems, because we spent an hour on the phone chatting on Thursday
evening when he rang me out of the blue. My mum was just happy that I
had made a new friend so fast, and I don't think she suspected a thing.
I went round on Saturday morning, following the map that Brian had
spent a whole lesson drawing for me. It was a masterpiece, which I kept
for ages afterwards. He always insisted that he couldn't really draw
that well, but as far as I could tell he was a genius. I found the
house with no trouble, and smiled to myself as I saw that it was laid
out to exactly the same plan as my own, both having been constructed
during my new town's economic boom several years previously. I knew the
master bedroom would be at the back of the house on the right, that
there was just enough room in the back garden to put in a small
swimming pool if you were so inclined, and that there was a den
downstairs that was almost inevitably the place Brian and his sister
spent their free time.
The bell was in exactly the right place, and made the right sound. And
before long the door was answered by a woman so similar to my mother
that I wondered if I'd misread the map and just walked round the block.
"Hi, you must be Tom. Brian's not stopped talking about you all week,"
she said, stealing my mum's "friendly and welcoming' smile.
"Mum!" I could hear the embarrassment in Brian's voice before I could see his red-tinged cheeks.
He needn't have worried, though -- my heart was doing back flips in my
chest to think that I had been the hot topic of conversation at his
house for the last few days. I dutifully followed him up to his room,
which was exactly the same one as I had in my own version of the house,
and not decorated too differently. I'd been fortunate to inherit
another boy's room when we moved in, so I didn't need to change the
colour scheme at all. It seemed every young teenager in the town had
the same idea. The walls were covered with posters of sports cars of
all types, and pictures of sports teams -- you know, the usual stuff,
nothing out of the ordinary. Brian seemed like just another nice kid,
and I again wondered what he could have done that was so bad he was
shunned at school.
We sat on his bed and talked about nothing for a while, before his mum
came up and suggested that we do something with our Saturday rather
than just sitting around the whole time. And so we ended up at the
bowling alley. Neither of us could throw the damn things straight to
save our lives, but we seemed to both appreciate the comedy of the
situation, dissolving into fits of laughter after almost every ball
that landed in the gutter five metres down the lane.
We played around on the arcade machines for a little while after we'd
finished our game, until Brian's mum came to pick us up. Back at their
house I was treated to a really good meal, Brian's mum turning out to
be as good a cook as my own, and seemingly eager to please. It was
getting fairly late by the time we were done, and Brian asked if I
would like to stay the night. He said he had stuff I could wear to bed,
and he could fold out his sofa for me to sleep on, so I didn't need to
go home to get anything.
It seemed there was only one obstacle, however: Brian's mum. When he
asked her whether it was ok if I could stay, she looked pained, as if
it was a big issue between them. Excusing both of them for a couple of
minutes, Brian's mum led him into another room to talk to him. I
struggled to hear what was being said, but to no avail. Eventually,
they emerged, Brian looking upset and shaken. He walked over to me,
unwilling to make eye contact.
"My mum says that if you're going to stay here you I have to tell you something first, and see if you still want to stay."
I was confused. What could he possibly have to admit to me that would
make me want to leave? I followed him to the den that I knew would be
downstairs, and we sat down on opposite ends of the sofa, facing each
other. Brian seemed unwilling to speak, but I decided that prompting
would probably only make things worse, so I waited for him to compose
himself.
"Tom, I have to tell you something before you stay the night. If you
don't want to stay, I'll understand, and my mum will take you home. I
hope we can still be friends."
With that, he seemed to retreat back into his shell again for a while.
Eventually, the suspense was killing me, and I tried to lighten the
mood and encourage him to speak.
"Come on, Brian, it can't be that bad. You're not dying are you?"
He just looked at me, his eyes on the verge of welling up with tears, and suddenly let it all out in one go.
"Tom, I'm gay, ok? That's why the other kids at school didn't want you
to speak to me and be my friend. My mum made me tell you because my old
best friend's mum found out and stopped him seeing me. Now my mum makes
me tell anyone who's going to stay the night in case it bothers them."
He really was crying by this time, but continued to speak.
"It's ok, you can go now if you want, I don't blame you. I didn't want
to be this way, but there's nothing I can do about it. I lose all my
friends this way," he said between sobs, and buried his face in the
crook of his arm.
I felt a massive surge of sympathy for him, and got up off the sofa to
move closer. He felt the weight shifting and looked up at me, the
sadness tinged with a little anger.
"Go on, just go and leave me alone!" he wailed.
I just moved closer, and said in the softest voice I could manage, "No."
Brian's face came up slowly once more, and his eyes searched mine.
"You mean you don't mind?"
"No, Brian, I don't mind."
"And you're still my friend?"
"Well," I said, boldness sweeping through me like never before, "I'd kind of like to be more than that, if that's ok with you."
The look on Brian's face was priceless -- confusion scrunched his
features up. I wouldn't say he looked ugly, but he was certainly not
his most beautiful right then. I couldn't stand to see him trying to
work out what I meant, so I leaned forward and kissed him lightly on
the mouth. The confusion was swept away, replaced by joy as Brian
jumped up and grabbed me in a bear hug. It was then I noticed his mum
watching us from the foot of the stairs. She smiled at me, before
turning and leaving us, closing the door behind her.
My dreams were full of Brian. I imagined the soft kiss we had shared. I
imagined that we hadn't been too shy to do anything more than cuddle
each other when we went to bed. I imagined we'd been brave enough to
change into our bedclothes in front of each other, so that I could have
seen his wonderful form. Then I dreamt we woke next to each other, arms
and legs intertwined. Except that when I thought about it, when I
became properly aware of my surroundings, I realised that the last part
wasn't a dream at all. Brian and I genuinely were that close.
I could feel the light pressure of his arm draped over my chest, and
his knee somewhere about my groin, in very close proximity to my
morning hard-on. I needed to pee really badly, a fact which was
exasperated by the pressure of his knee on my lower abdomen, and so I
very carefully extracted myself, trying not to wake him. I made my way
to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I was done, I stood looking at
myself in the mirror.
I did this every morning, but this time there was something different
there. There was a spark in my eyes, replacing the slightly dead part
of my soul I was used to seeing. I smiled, realising that it was the
companionship I'd been blessed with that had made the difference.
Perhaps this new town would be better than all the rest.
Walking out of the bathroom, I almost ran headlong into Brian's mum,
who gave me a strange smile before walking past to take her morning
shower. It seemed she wasn't upset that I'd stayed the night, and also
seemed quite happy with Brian's choices. I didn't know what my parents
would say when I told them, but I figured it would have to be soon,
especially if Brian and I were to be a couple.
Walking back into his room, I noticed he had woken. When he saw me
coming in, something like relief flashed across his face, and he held
out his arms to me. I could hardly refuse, so I joined him on the bed
in a big hug, interspersed every so often with a sloppy kiss. I could
feel his boner poking into my leg, and when I pointed this out, he
started to panic. I laughed and told him it was ok, and that I didn't
mind. Truthfully, I was very far from minding. I craved to touch it, to
feel it, to absorb its warmth. It didn't feel much bigger than my own,
and that was only a little over four inches. Perhaps finally I'd found
someone else who was as undeveloped as myself.
I didn't have the chance to find out, though, as before long we were
taking our showers and heading down for breakfast. I didn't have clean
clothes to wear, so I borrowed some of Brian's, which fit me quite well
-- they were a little large on him, a little small on me, but overall
not bad at all. It felt nice to be wearing his stuff, like we were
close enough already that we lived in each other's clothes.
It was difficult to eat with such a vision of perfection sat across
from me. I don't have a clue what we ate that morning. It could have
been mud for all the notice I took. My eyes were riveted on his face.
Occasionally, Brian would look up, notice me watching him and smile
that smile of his. It melted me on the stool. I actually forgot to
close my mouth and drooled slightly before I regained my senses. I'm
sure I heard his mum laughing somewhere off to the right, but she could
have been in Japan for all I cared.
Sunday was a blur. I know we talked, and played around in his room, and
I certainly remember more than a little kissing went on, but all too
soon it was time for me to go home. His mum gave me a lift -- it was a
fifteen minute walk, and a slow drizzle was falling that would have
soaked me had I travelled on foot. Brian and I sat in the back of the
car holding hands, grinning like idiots and occasionally breaking out
into random fits of giggles for no apparent reason. I could see his mum
looking in the rear view mirror at us, and noticed that strange smile
again.
We spoke again on the phone that night. We'd been apart for only two
hours, and yet we managed to find another couple of hours of things to
say to each other. The next day at school, when we could find a little
privacy, Brian gave me the picture he'd been doodling while we were on
the phone to each other. It was a sketch of me and him kissing
surrounded by a heart. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen, and
I took the risk of giving him a hug. Luckily we didn't get caught.
I soon became included in the treatment that Brian received from the
other kids. We weren't taunted, we weren't bullied, but nor were we
included in anything. Rooms would go quiet when we walked in, and the
noise would return at a much lower level after an awkward silence.
Not that we cared, because we had each other. Every spare moment we
could spend together we did, sitting far too close for just friends. It
must have been fairly obvious to the other kids what was going on,
though thankfully nothing was ever said explicitly. Eventually, the
attitude of a few of our more informed and mature colleagues changed
slightly, and we at least got a few encouraging signs from people who
clearly wanted to be our friends, but were still afraid to be
associated openly with us. We even managed to make one of the quieter
boys in the year open up to us.
Daniel was always pretty much ignored by the rest of the year, possibly
because he was actually only 12 but had been advanced a year for being
clever. Of course, that should have meant he simply hung out with the
kids his age, but he never did. One lunchtime, Brian and I were sat on
a low wall which ran alongside a basketball court in the school
grounds, chatting quietly and watching all the different cliques in the
playground. We'd seen Daniel sitting on the opposite wall, occasionally
glancing in our direction nervously. Brian and I eventually decided to
go over and talk to him, figuring that he was all alone and being seen
with us couldn't make things any worse.
He nearly ran when we approached. You could see his legs tensing, his
hands on the wall ready to push away, but we didn't give him the
chance. It's not like we were overly aggressive about it, but he had
been watching us not too surreptitiously for quite a while and we were
determined to find out why.
"Hey, Daniel," said Brian as we sat, one on either side of the nervous boy. "How's things?"
"Er, not bad, I guess," Daniel replied, clearly more nervous than ever.
"Is there something you wanted to ask us?" asked Brian.
There wasn't any menace to the question -- Brian sounded genuinely
interested, and like he wanted to put Daniel at his ease, despite the
fact that he was hemmed in.
"Um, no, I don't think so."
"Oh, right. We were just kind of wondering why you kept staring. But if you don't want anything, we'll be off."
Brian and I started to rise, and were almost ready to walk off when Daniel spoke.
"Um, guys, actually there was something."
"Yeah?" I said, turning back to him. Brian and I stayed standing for the moment.
"Can I... can I talk to you some time?"
"Now?" Brian asked.
"No, not now. Later. Would that be okay?" Daniel asked. His nerves were relaxed slightly,
but he was still visibly shaking.
"Sure," said Brian. "You know where I live, don't you? You're only over on McPherson Street, right?"
"Yeah, I know where you live. Shall I come over after school?"
‘Yeah," said Brian. "Come over about six and we'll talk."
When we'd moved away from Daniel, who was still seated on the wall
looking a little shaky, I asked Brian if he knew what the boy wanted.
"I've got a fair idea," he said, with a sly smile on his face. I didn't
need to probe further -- I had my own idea, and I was fairly sure it
was the same as Brian's.
I wolfed down my dinner and made it round to Brian's for just after
five, which left just under an hour to talk about what we would say to
Daniel if he asked us if we were gay. Well, ok, we actually had about
fifteen minutes after we'd said hello properly... Anyway, we decided to
be honest with him if he asked serious questions. Put it this way --
things couldn't get any worse at school, so there really was nothing to
lose by telling him that we were actually a couple.
Daniel turned up at six on the dot. I'd have put money on him having
waited just round the corner until the time was right. Brian's mum was
slightly confused to find another friend from school visiting within
the space of a fortnight, but she did the usual friendly mum act to
Daniel.
The kid, for his part, was too nervous to really notice whether or not
he was welcome. He wouldn't make eye contact with anyone, and all his
answers were mumbled. Eventually, it was pretty clear that he was
uncomfortable, so Brian and I decided to take him up to Brian's room to
see if he would calm down a little. We sat him down in Brian's office
chair, and both sat on the bed watching as he plucked up the courage to
speak.
I have to admit that he looked kind of cute there, legs not quite
reaching for the floor and oversize shirt hanging off his shoulders.
Thinking back, he was rather well dressed that afternoon, not like most
of the kids in the neighbourhood who followed the scruffier the better
philosophy. In excited, jumpy tones, Daniel finally spoke.
"Is it true what they say about you two? You know, that you're... well, you know!"
"What?" responded Brian. "That we're gay?"
Daniel's head came up sharply, with a combination of shock and a little
panic in his eyes. But he nodded -- he had wanted to ask that.
"Yeah," said Brian. "We are."
As if to emphasize, he took hold of my hand. It was then that I
realised that despite his confident exterior, Brian was actually as
nervous as Daniel was -- his hand was sweaty and his grip a little too
strong for just holding hands.
"Um, how did you find out?"
"We just decided one day," I said, making sure that the tone was
sarcastic, but hopefully not mocking. Both Daniel and Brian gave
nervous little laughs. At least I had lightened the atmosphere a little.
"You just know, Daniel," said Brian, after a pause to think. "You look
at boys instead of girls. Sometimes you'll see a boy and he'll make
your heart leap in your chest. You notice things about your friends
that most people don't think you should be noticing. Like with Tom, I
saw his eyes, and that was it."
I was a little taken aback -- I'd never really discussed with Brian
what it was he liked about me, and here he was telling someone else. It
was nice, I decided. And my eyes? Right then, I wasn't so sure that
Brian was talking about the right person, though her reassured me later
that he certainly was.
"So you two are like, boyfriends then?"
"Yeah, I guess we are," I replied, suddenly realising that was exactly what we were. It felt good.
"Oh," said Daniel, clearly disappointed.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Well, I was kind of not sure, and then I saw Brian, and I thought he was really good looking, and, well, you know..."
"You fancy Brian?"
"Yeah. Look, I'm sorry, I don't want to take him away from you or anything, Tom. Please don't get angry at me."
"Hey, it's ok, I'm not angry. Besides, I can see what there is to like about him."
Brian was blushing furiously by this point. I don't think he was entirely comfortable being talked about like this.
"So, um, what happens now?" asked Daniel. "You aren't going to tell anyone are you?"
"Not if you don't want us to," I said. "And besides, I think you better
wait a while before being so sure you're gay. I mean, how long have you
been having these feelings?"
"Since I was moved up this year and saw Brian. I guess that makes it a couple of months."
"Then you can't be entirely sure you're gay. Give it a while. Don't box yourself in just yet."
"But you guys are so sure," he said.
"Well, I am," I said. "I can't speak for Brian, but I started feeling
this way a few years ago. I'm thirteen now -- I think it's a pretty
sure fire bet that I'm that way inclined."
Brian nodded, indicating that he, too, was pretty sure about his orientation.
"Can I hang out with you guys at school?" I looked at Brian, and at exactly the same time we both nodded.
"Yeah," I said. "We could do with some more friends. As long as you can put up with being seen with us."
"Yeah, that would be cool. Thanks, guys. I've got to get home now -- my
mum doesn't know I got out through my window. She thinks I've been
doing my homework. She'll freak if she finds I'm not there."
We showed him to the door and out into the cool evening air. He seemed
a lot happier leaving, and actually spoke to Brian's mum this time. She
was just bemused by the small presence who had appeared fifteen minutes
earlier and was now leaving again.
Daniel became a regular fixture hanging out with Brian and myself at
lunchtimes. It seemed to help his confidence, and it also seemed that
now he was seen by the kids his age to be hanging out with the cool
older kids (I don't think our reputation spanned the age gap), they
accepted him, and wanted him as a friend. Consequentially, we actually
only saw him briefly at lunchtime and after school after about the
first two weeks of hanging out with us.
So it was a bit of a surprise three weeks later when we were
interrupted in the middle of something (ok, so we were kissing. Again.
It's not a crime, you know...) by Brian's mum shouting upstairs that
Daniel was there to see us. Readjusting ourselves to hide rather
obvious tents in our jeans, we wandered downstairs to see what he
wanted.
Brian's mum directed us to the den, saying that she was cleaning in the
kitchen and living room, and the den was the best place for four boys
to hang out.
"Four boys?" asked Brian.
"Yes," his mum replied. "Daniel turned up with a friend, and said he
just had to see you if you were in, so I sent him down there and said
you'd both be down in a minute."
Perplexed, we made our way downstairs, to find Daniel and another boy
around his age seated on the sofa, whispering and giggling. When they
noticed us, the boy with Daniel suddenly went very quiet and shy.
Daniel, at least, was able to speak.
"Um, Brian, Tom, I'd like you to meet Ed. Ed, this is Brian and Tom."
"Right," said Brian. "It's very nice to meet you, Ed. I'm not quite
sure what is so important that you had to come around and introduce us
to him, though, Dan."
"This is what's so important," said Daniel, and he leaned over to his
new friend and kissed him. Ed kissed back, and before long Brian had to
clear his throat so the pair remembered we were in the room.
"Wow," I said. "Guess you found someone, then?"
Daniel didn't answer, he just grinned and nodded. I have to admit that
both Brian and I had grins on our faces watching the two of them.
Though we were only a year older, they seemed so young and cute. It
certainly felt like Brian and I had been together more than just a
couple of months -- we felt like veterans in the whole dating game.
For the first few months, we didn't need anything more in our
relationship than the kissing and hugging, which we did on a fairly
permanent basis while we were alone. But we were both horny thirteen
year old boys, so something more was bound to happen sooner or later. I
masturbated pretty much every night to thoughts of Brian, and the
little I'd seen of his body, and I managed to get a confession from him
that he thought about me when he played with himself.
It was a Friday night, this time at my place, that things finally went
a little further than the kissing. To be honest, I think we were both
aching for it. Brian had the night off from looking after his sister,
and my parents were out, so we had the night and the house to
ourselves. It started off pretty normal, watching TV and a couple of
films, both in our night-time uniform of loose shorts and t-shirts,
cuddled up under a blanket on the sofa. We'd both changed at different
times, finding excuses not to see each other change, though we didn't
realise at the time that we both desperately wanted to see the other
one naked.
Under the blanket, with Brian cuddled into my back, I could feel his
boner pressing into the bottom of my spine. It was driving me mad, just
having it sat there and not being able to touch it. Eventually, I
couldn't take it any longer, and turned over to face him. Immediately
we were kissing, and this time, rather than putting both my arms around
him, I let my right hand slide down into his crotch, and made a very
blatant grab for his dick.
Brian moaned loudly as I made contact and my fingers closed around the
hot rod of flesh that was gutting out of his groin. I broke the kiss
and looked at his face for conformation. He nodded eagerly in answer to
the unspoken question, and I continued, sliding my hand up until it was
able to slip underneath the waistband and onto his flesh. I worked my
way down to the junction of his dick and his body, feeling a few very
light and wispy pubic hairs there. There were probably a few more than
I had, but I wasn't too upset -- since I'd started going out with
Brian, my development was really beginning to happen in earnest. I put
it down to his good influence on me.
Brian's dick was just about the same size as mine, though without being
able to see them both to compare, it was a little difficult to say.
Thankfully he was uncut, like me, so I could play with his foreskin. I
rolled it around between my thumb and forefinger, before slowly
starting to stroke it up and down. At this, Brian tensed. I could sense
he was seriously turned on already, and it wouldn't be long before he
came, so I sped the pace up to match his excitement.
Sure enough, he only lasted for a couple of minutes before pumping a
few shots out into my hand. His cum was thin and watery, not the thick
stuff I had once seen an older boy shoot. I sniffed it, but wasn't
brave enough to lick it up, so I just wiped my hand on my shorts.
Brian was totally out of it, lying on his back and panting. When he finally came round, he gave me a huge smile.
"Thanks, Tom, that was amazing. The best ever. Want me to do you?"
"Later," I said, with a grin, before leaning in for another kiss and a long hug. I really was falling in love.
"Later' turned out to be the next morning, though I was happy to wait
for Brian to reciprocate. We'd fallen asleep on the sofa the night
before, and I woke to the wonderful feeling of someone else's hand on
my morning hard-on. I actually had to make Brian wait for a minute as I
ran to the bathroom to relieve an aching bladder. That was almost a
disastrous move, because Brian tried very hard to make me laugh before
I made it, and I was in serious danger of having an accident for the
first time in a long time when he shouted that I should make sure it
was nice and clean when I was done.
When I came back, Brian had the blanket tucked up under his chin, and I
smiled, thinking he looked so angelic there with his eyes closed and a
half-smile on his lips. The illusion didn't last long, though --
clearly he knew I was there watching him, and grabbed me round both
legs, causing me to fall forwards over him. Then he reached up and
pulled my shorts to the floor, which of course meant that I was forced
to try to get his clothes off. After all, it was only fair that if I
was showing everything off to the world, so should he.
We wrestled around for a while, laughing hysterically, eventually
shedding all of our clothes. Brian pinned me, holding my arms over my
head and lying down on top of me, his now very hard dick poking into my
groin. Though I could easily have overpowered him, I didn't really want
to. Would you?
After a long, breathless pause where we just looked each other in the
eyes, not saying a thing, Brian leaned in and kissed me. We kissed
passionately for quite a while, and got the grinding motion going
again. It was a whole new experience, feeling his skin on mine as we
humped against each other. I could actually feel his foreskin being
rolled backwards over the head of his dick, and a little smear of
precum that felt cold as it dried.
I reached down to feel his shaft -- I remembered what it felt like last
night, and I desperately wanted to touch it again. But Brian stopped me
and shook his head, mouthing the words "my turn' before rolling off to
one side. For the first time I got to really have a good look at his
body, as he lay there and regarded mine.
There was hardly any muscle tone to his torso, which I thought was
great. I'd always fancied skinny boys, and Brian was the epitome of
that type. He had a slightly concave chest, and a bellybutton that was
not an innie nor an outtie -- it was just flush with his stomach. His
dick was gorgeous, though I would be inclined to say that -- it wasn't
far from being a mirror image of mine. Of course, he was slightly
hairier than me, but his dick was almost exactly the same size, with
the same overhang of foreskin over the head. If anything, his balls
were slightly smaller than mine, but I did remember that he shot a
little more than I usually did last night. All in all, though, I wasn't
complaining.
Nor, it seems, was Brian. He had my dick in one hand, rolling the skin
around over the hard shaft below. I couldn't remember being this hard
ever in my life before, nor could I remember leaking precum like I was.
It was literally dribbling out, an experience which was totally new to
me, since I usually only had a drop or two when I did this for myself.
Brian picked some of it up and started working it into the foreskin as
he slid it back and forth over my head. The feeling was beyond belief.
I'd love to give you an in-depth story of how wonderful Brian's first
go at wanking me was, but to be honest it was total sensory overload
time, and I don't remember much more before Brian was shaking me awake.
"Tom, get up! Your parents are home!"
Nothing can get you instantly awake like those words. We ran around,
grabbing anything that would incriminate us, before dashing into my
bedroom. Fortunately, my parents had taken a couple of minutes getting
some shopping they'd done on the way home out of the car, so we had
time to throw on our night clothes and pretend we just hadn't got
dressed yet. We sat on my bed playing a video game, hoping that we
looked innocent when my mum came in.
A minute later, mum was knocking on my door, and I shouted it was ok to
come in. She gave us the usual parent thing about doing something
useful with our day, but only really half-heartedly, before leaving us
to it. I had an on-suite shower, so I told Brian I was going to get
clean. He got a wicked look in his eye, and grabbed hold of me. I had a
fair idea what he wanted, so I played along.
"Well," I said, "if you're not going to let go, I'll have to take you with me."
With that, I started trying to drag my way across the floor with a
limpet attached to one leg. After a couple of minutes' struggle, we
gave up the charade, and just got into the shower together. It was a
bit tight, but I was happy to put up with being a little cramped if it
meant we could be that intimate. It was fun washing every area of each
other, and we both managed to stay calm enough to get all the important
parts washed before we broke out into a frenzy of sexual passion. The
soap kept our bodies nice and slick as we humped together, and before
long I felt a shot of Brian's cum hit my nipple. We both saw it before
the water washed away, and laughed at the shot. My own orgasm was dry,
my balls having been drained earlier that morning, but no less intense
for that fact.
The close call had been a little too close for my liking. That
afternoon, I made a decision. I've always been one for snap decisions,
though this would probably have more effect on my life than any other.
You see, I'd decided to tell my parents. To come out to the most
important people in my life.
Despite my instant decision, I didn't at first have the courage of my
convictions, and it took Brian telling me how well things might go to
convince me to go through with it. We decided that Brian should stay
with me while I told them, in case I needed someone to hide behind. I
knew my dad wasn't a violent person, but my mum's stares had been known
to stop hardened criminals dead in their tracks and look at their feet
uncomfortably, mumbling apologies.
We found them in the living room, my mum reading a magazine and my dad
getting his weekly fix of motor sport action. I really didn't know how
to start, so I just sat down in a chair while Brian stood to my left,
and uttered the most trite and over-used line I could have used.
"Mum, Dad, I need to talk to you."
My mum looked up straight away, but it took her shoving my dad in the
arm to get him to take notice. I think she saw how nervous I was.
"Yes, Tom?" she said, when I had the attention of both of my parents.
"Um, I really don't know how to say this, so I'm not going to mess around. Um, I'm not into girls."
My dad just looked perplexed, but I could see my mum's eyes widen as
she realised what I was saying. Her gaze turned to Brian, and then back
to me. By the time this had happened, my dad had caught on, and his
mouth literally dropped open. I'd never seen anyone's jaw hit the floor
before, but I swear if my dad's chest hadn't been there, his would have
been on the carpet.
"You're.. you're gay?" he said when he'd regained muscle control of the errant jawbone.
I was paralysed. I couldn't say anything, I couldn't even nod a
response. My parents had always been fairly liberal in their views,
having been hippies when it was the in thing. They didn't hold any
strong religious beliefs, either, so there was no spiritual reason that
my being gay should be wrong. I think it was just a shock for them.
Like most people, they thought that having a gay kid was something that
happened to other people, and you read about it in magazines. They
clearly never thought it would happen to them, but now it was.
"I...er, Brian, I think you ought to go home for a while," said my mum after a painful silence.
Brian looked at me before responding. I nodded, and so Brian left, mouthing the words "call me' as he went. I nodded again.
After Brian had left, the questions began to come. It appeared the
floodgates had been opened, because I didn't stop answering them for
about an hour. Of course, they asked about Brian, and I told them the
truth. My mum asked us how far we'd gone, and I was thankful that my
dad told her quite firmly that it was none of her business, even if I
was gay. They asked if I was sure, and how I knew, which was a question
I always expected -- the answer had been provided by a gay youth
website, and was quite simple: I asked them how they knew they were
straight. My mum even managed to laugh slightly when she realised she
couldn't answer that for certain. It was strained, though, and I could
see that she was deeply uncomfortable.
Eventually, I was told to go to my room for a while whilst my parents
talked about the news, and how to deal with it. I wasn't about to argue
-- I'd not been sent to my room for several years, but I was more than
happy to be out of that room right then. I grabbed a drink out of the
kitchen on the way past to wet my very dry throat, and headed into my
room, prepared for a long wait.
I was surprised, then, that only about ten minutes later a knock came
at my door. I shouted for whoever it was to come in, and was a little
taken aback to find that it was my dad. He gave me a warm smile and sat
down beside me on the bed. I figured he must have gone mad or
something, because this certainly wasn't the response I expected from
my macho dad.
"That's quite a bit of news, Tom. Are you really sure you're gay?"
"Yes! Why don't you believe me?!"
"Whoa, it's ok, son, you don't have to take my head off. It's just a bit of a shock. Can you see that?"
"Yeah," I conceded. "I expected you to be really angry with me."
"Well, your mum's a little shocked, and I think it'll take a bit of
getting used to, but we're not angry. We know you didn't choose to be
gay -- who would with the way you'll get treated by society?"
"Yeah, but have you seen Brian?" I said. That made my dad chuckle.
"Not really my type, Tom, but if that's what makes you happy..."
"It is, dad, it really is." He smiled at that, and gave me a one-armed
hug. It made me remember all the times we used to spend together, the
way he would protect me from the world when we were out camping.
"What do you think about it, though, dad?" I asked.
"I really don't know what to make of it, Tom. It's not like you're any
different today than yesterday, and I loved you yesterday, so why
should things change? I can't say it's the way I'd have preferred
things to turn out, but then that's because I wanted plenty of
grandchildren. Who knows, perhaps you could adopt..."
The last was said with not a little irony, but I knew my dad meant
well. We sat there for a minute, not saying anything, but at the same
time not searching for anything to say either. Eventually, my dad
heaved himself up from the bed to leave.
"I think there's a thirteen year old boy somewhere near here who would
like to hear how things went. Why don't you go and see him for the
afternoon, give your mum and I some time to talk."
"Ok, I will. Thanks."
"That's ok. You want a lift over? It's a fair walk, isn't it?"
"It's only fifteen minutes. It's ok, dad, I want to walk."
"Ok," he said, with a smile, before leaving and shutting the door
behind him. I fell onto my back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I
didn't know quite how to feel. Being totally analytical about it, I
should have been happy that things had gone so well, but I was worried
about my mum, so I was distracted. Grabbing a few things, I packed a
bag ready to spend the night at Brian's place if I decided to give my
parents even more time to get used to things.
Brian was at his door before I even rang the bell, with a guilty look on his face.
"I was looking out for you from my sister's room," he admitted as he
led me down to the den. "So, what happened then? What did your mum and
dad say after I left?"
I gave him the briefest run-down I could, including all the personal
questions my mum had asked, and how my dad had got me off the hook.
"Yeah, my mum asked loads of awkward questions when I told her. Did they ask you if you're sure you're gay?"
"Yeah," I said, rolling my eyes heavenwards, "only about fifty times. I think they might believe me now, though."
"Well, the worst of it's over. You've told them, and your dad didn't go
mad. You'll just have to get your mum to realise it's not that bad.
Perhaps she could talk to mine."
"Maybe. I dunno."
We fell silent for a while. I think Brian could sense I wasn't in the
mood for being talkative, having spent a lot of the afternoon
explaining myself, so he suggested we go to the local skate shop, where
he said he had something to show me. The shop was one of our favourite
haunts, and we spent so much time there we were known by every member
of staff, and even got a discount on some of the stuff and first dibs
on the stuff that was about to be discounted. We both skated a lot, at
a time when it wasn't really that fashionable to do so, so we often had
the old concrete skate park to ourselves.
When we got to the shop, we went through all the greetings, seeing what
was new with the two teenage lads who ran the shop at the weekend.
Before long, though, Brian was dragging me across to the other side of
the shop, holding my hand. The guys there knew about us, and had always
been really cool. Brian and I both suspected they were a couple
themselves, since they spent so much of their time together and didn't
mind us being openly gay. We never talked about it with them, though --
we were far too scared we might offend them, I think.
Anyway, when we got to the far left corner of the shop, I found what
Brian wanted me to see -- there was a rack of stick-on temporary
tattoos, with loads of tribal designs and a few of the classic
"skull-in-flames' types.
"Want to mess around with some of these?" Brian asked.
"I dunno," I said. "Aren't they sort of kids' things?"
"No way, man. Some of these are really cool!" replied Brian, excitedly
looking through the designs. I had to admit there were some pretty good
designs there.
"And besides," he added, "they don't have to all go on our arms or anything..."
The last was said in such a suggestive way that I couldn't possibly
miss the meaning. It was that which made my mind up, and five minutes
later we were leaving the shop with a brown paper bag containing quite
a few of the designs. Back at Brian's house, we were fed by his mum,
who was on her way out for the evening, having been asked out on a date
by one of the men she worked with. As payment for our dinner, we were
forced to help decide what she should wear, and I was sent into fits of
hysterics by Brian really camping it up as he did his best fashion
designer impression. He wasn't usually a macho guy, but this was so far
from his normal demeanour I could almost see him as a different person.
Fortunately for us, Brian's little sister was staying overnight at a
friend's house, so we had the place to ourselves, our second night
alone in succession. We watched TV for a while, slowly getting each
other undressed as we kissed and rolled about on the sofa. Before long,
we were both stark naked, and not far from being hard.
I was quite ready for a bit of messing around, but Brian had other
ideas. He jumped up and ran into the kitchen, his cute little dick
leading the way, and his pert ass following. He came back with a bowl
of water and some kitchen towel, and just when I thought things might
be getting a bit kinky, he ran off again, only to return with the paper
bag containing the tattoos. Then I realised, to my immense relief, what
the water and towels were for -- the back of the transfers had to be
wet for them to come off and stick to our skin.
Brian tipped the contents of the bag out on the floor, and lined them all up for me to look at.
"I'm going to put one on you first," he declared. "Which one do you want? I'll decide where to put it."
Looking through the designs, I spied the one which had really taken my
fancy earlier in the shop -- a tribal design with rose vines
intertwined through it, which I thought would look great on my arm. But
Brian had other ideas. When I told him which I wanted, he ordered me to
lie back, and went about positioning the tattoo right above my dick on
my lower abdomen. It was barely further up than the top of my tiny
excuses for pubic hairs, but if that was where Brian wanted it, who was
I to argue?
He went to work applying it, making me flinch when I discovered the
water was ice-cold, and laughing at my reaction. I had to admit,
though, that it looked really cool where it was, and Brian would be the
only other person to see it, since it sat just below the waistband of
my shorts. Then it was Brian's turn to choose a design, and mine to
place it upon his body.
I was getting seriously turned on by the game, and it was a good thing
Brian had put the first tattoo in place when he had, or he might not
have been able to get it stuck down behind my rock-hard shaft. I wasn't
going to just copy Brian's positioning, though, so I had him turn over
onto his stomach.
This gave me a perfect opportunity to look his body over, and I took
it, running my hands up and down the soft skin of his back. He shivered
in delight when my fingertips brushed the top of his crack, but I
decided I wasn't quite ready to go there yet, and didn't continue to
touch him there. It did give me an idea, though -- I decided to put the
little devil cartoon character Brian had chosen right above his crack,
on his lower back. You'd be able to see it when he wore Speedos for
swim class, and I had a quiet chuckle at the thought.
Putting it in place, I made sure I used plenty of water to pay Brian
back. I have to admit, the tattoo looked damn hot where it was. That
was as far as we got with the tattoos that night, though. We were both
turned on so much that we couldn't resist each other, and made out
right there on the sofa. Our night was made even more perfect when
Brian's mum rang to say that she had had a little too much to drink and
would be staying at a girlfriend's house that night, leaving Brian and
me the run of the house all night long.
Needless to say, we took full advantage of the situation, relaxing in
the hot-tub in Brian's mum's huge bathroom, taking plenty of time (and
a whole bar of soap!) to make sure we were both thoroughly clean.
Happily, the tattoos were quite resilient, and stayed on perfectly
throughout the whole experience. The last thing I remembered before
falling asleep was holding Brian and thinking how cute he looked with
that little devil over his ass as he stepped from the hot-tub...
The End