Dreams Hereafter
by Serene Cherry
This story contains
details of explicit sexuality between females.
CHAPTER I
The morning had always been my favorite time of day, since as
long as I could remember. It
happened to be a very clear summer morning in July when I decided
to take a nice walk outside
and take a look at what was going to be my new neighborhood.
Quietly, I left the entrance of
my new apartment and made a calm stroll down my block,
appropriately named Walnut street thanks
to the calm shades of brown found on nearly every building. The
morning air was fresh and
soothing; a tender reminder of why I loved taking long walks
alone with my thoughts. The sun
still sat on the horizon, rising more with each minute and
changing the night's grayness into a
cheerful bright blue.
I wore the same shade of blue over my shoulders as I paced along
the sidewalk in my warm jacket.
After a minute's travel I found myself approaching a vast park
which I had noticed near my
apartment days earlier. My feet were still sensitive to the hard
concrete in my rather worn out
shoes as I looked up at the small sign which stood next to the
main gate. It read 'Tranquil
Gardens'.
Upon reaching the rather secluded entrance to the park, I gently
brushed a lock of my tawny hair
away from my face, placing my hands in my pockets. For a park so
large it didn't appear as if
many people were inside, most likely due to my early rising. I
passed through the gates of
Tranquil Gardens and took in a deep breath as my feet met the
soft grass. The air seemed almost
fresher inside the park, as if I had left the boundaries of the
city streets and entered into
an untouched area of wilderness. I smiled to myself, glad to have
already discovered such a
comforting environment. It seemed almost like something out of a
fairytale.
"I think I'm going to like it here," I said to myself,
softly.
The path led deeper into a wooded area, still lit by the odd lamp
post but gradually growing
brighter as if the light were following my steady stride. A faint
breeze rustled the branches
of the full and green trees, whispering quiet morning sounds
along with the crickets who were
still chirping in the distance.
I almost felt like closing my eyes and imagining that it was
indeed an area of my dreams, as it
felt more inviting than I could have imagined. With that thought,
I made my way to a small
brook near the center of the park and took a seat on what
appeared to be the only wooden bench
in the park, which rested partially under the tallest tree.
The brook's stream was about ankle deep with small stones lining
the bottom. Along the edges of
the water were various flowers which had seemingly grown in
naturally though they were obviously
planted by someone. The colors reflected the warmth of the
flourishing summer season. I
listened to the sounds of the brook for a few minutes, letting my
eyes just rest. After a short
time passed, I heard a small thump a short distance away but
didn't bother looking. I just
continued to rest and breathe silently to myself.
With my feet together, I waited for the sun to find its place in
the sky and bring first light
to the quiet morning. Just as I thought I might doze off from the
soothing voice of the brook,
I was met with a soft utterance near my ear.
"You're sitting in my spot you know."
I almost leapt from the seat out of fright, turning my head to
see a small, thin figure standing
just off to my side. Her hands were holding a number of thick
books and I couldn't make out her
expression. I quickly jumped from my seat and stood on the other
side of the bench, throwing my
hair back into my face clumsily.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I'll go, I'll..."
"No, it's not your fault, I was just teasing," she
giggled.
I finally brought my hand to my face and parted my hair to find a
young woman standing near me,
her hands clutching what appeared to be school books. The sun
rose just above her head, casting
a bright aura around her as I squinted to make out her
expression. She was wearing a pair of
half-glasses which were definitely bifocals, and a white cardigan
which had a little dirt on it
near the waist.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know this was your spot."
"It's all right, It isn't actually," she said in a soft
voice similar to mine. "I do sit in it
often when I'm reading though. What's your name?"
"Holly," I answered.
"My name is Grace. How are you?"
I paused.
"I'm okay I guess, you just startled me is all."
She smiled brightly, gently letting her books rest in one arm.
"That's a first, usually it's the other way around for
me," she giggled. "So you're new here,
Holly?"
I hesitated for a moment.
"Yes, I just moved in yesterday."
She stepped closer, not making a sound in the green grass.
"So you're new to this park then, too?" she asked. I
nodded. "Well, you've found one of the
best spots in it for sure. There aren't many people are out here
this early in the morning."
"Would you like to sit here? I will leave if you want me
to," I said.
She giggled to herself and rubbed a smudge from her bi-focals.
"No, no, I would love some company for a change. Would you
like to sit down on the bench with me
this morning, Holly?"
I shifted slightly, letting my first smile appear.
"Okay... I guess."
Grace stepped over and quietly sat on the bench, her books
resting comfortably in her lap.
"Sit down here and let's talk then," she exclaimed,
smiling.
I moved back beside her and sat down, placing my hands in my lap
nervously. Grace had her books
to attend to but I was empty-handed. I hadn't even brought my
purse out for the walk.
"I... don't really know what to say."
"Well... where do you live, Holly?" she began, soft
with her voice so as to calm my tenseness.
I thought to point out where I lived but soon remembered how far
into the gardens I had
travelled realized that I had already lost my sense of direction.
"Just up a few blocks, on Walnut Street," I said,
softly.
"That's a nice neighborhood. Do you live in an
apartment?"
I nodded again, this time turning to face her on the bench.
"Mmm hmm."
"Do you live by yourself?"
"Yes," I answered. "I haven't even really unpacked
yet."
"No friends here in town to help you?" Grace inquired,
tapping on her books now as if she were
feeling nervous herself.
"No, I don't know anyone here personally."
"Oh," she said, smiling still. I started twiddling with
my thumbs. "So what do you like to do,
Holly?"
"Well, I would like to get a job here soon. I've got a few
writing skills."
"Are you a good writer?" she asked, happily. "I'll
bet you are."
"I... well, I'm okay."
I began to blush, looking at a row of flowers which closely
mimicked the flesh tone of my
cheeks.
"So how old are you, Holly?"
"I'm nineteen. How old are you, Grace?"
"Same," she replied.
She lifted her hands to her glasses and rearranged them again.
Grace had bright green eyes
which were nearly doubled in size through her bifocals; a perfect
match to her tied back
chestnut colored hair which looked so elegant and shiny compared
to my messy, greasy look.
Grace's eyes didn't seem to mind at all somehow. Her gaze was one
of quiet happiness, of
caring and compassion. I looked into them calmly, and she did the
same with mine as if we were
locked in silent communication. We both paid attention to the
sound of the brook as it lulled
us both away from the nervousness of introduction.
"I know, I know. I tripped back there as I noticed you on
the bench. A clumsy, four eyed
bookworm, not worth sitting next to a pretty girl like you,
aren't I?"
I tried to hide my blushing, but at the same time was surprised
by her own self-perception. I
believed she was definitely more attractive than I was for sure.
"Of course not, Grace, that isn't what I was thinking at
all."
"What were you thinking, Holly?"
"I was thinking how nice and pretty you are actually."
Grace let out a small cough, quickly calming herself as she
gripped her books tightly.
"Thank you, Holly; that's so nice of you to say. I wish more
people would talk to me the way you
do."
"How do others talk to you?" I asked.
She didn't answer.
"Ummm... I have classes today but I would love to see you
again sometime," Grace said, quickly
smiling once more. "Can I give you a call?"
"I haven't got my phone connected yet," I replied,
embarrassed.
"Oh... I suppose I could back come here early again
tomorrow; I do pretty much everyday anyway.
It's so easy to fall in love with Tranquil Gardens after visiting
a few times."
"It certainly is wonderful the first time," I added.
Grace rose from the bench, sniffling for a second and holding in
a second cough.
"Goodbye, Holly. I hope to see you again soon."
"Goodbye," I answered, pushing my hair out of my face
and waving a bit.
Grace made her way around the bench and back onto the small dirt
path which she had fallen on
earlier. She looked back several times, smiling a little happier
with each one as she watched
me gaze at her. After a moment, she faded into the surrounding
trees and I was left alone again,
now with the sun high in the sky as a sign of the new dawn. I
hummed to myself for a minute or
two and lied down on the length of the bench, allowing myself to
doze off into a peaceful,
dreamless rest before returning home.
CHAPTER II
I rested my head against my couch armrest for a moment, smiling
to myself. After a few minutes
I looked up at my new apartment, my very messy new apartment. A
few items of clothing were
hanging out of some of the boxes I had opened, nearly blocking
off my view of the window. I
stood from the couch and held my diary in my arms with both hands
after just having written an
entire page about meeting Grace. I then made my way to the
bathroom for what should have been
my morning shower though it was turning out to be more of an
afternoon noon shower.
I set my diary by the sink and kicked off my ugly shoes, then my
socks. After slipping out of
my jeans and shirt I gazed at myself in the mirror wearing only
my underwear. I made a few
faces, some of them smiles, and thought about Grace's smile. She
had said I was pretty; that
was more than enough to brighten me up for the remainder of the
day. With that, I slipped off
my bra and panties and stepped into the shower, thinking about
Grace.
...
The next day I was even more excited about seeing Grace than I
had been before I hesitantly doze
off in my bed. I jumped up as soon as my 6:30 alarm went off and
darted into the shower to get
ready for the day.
I wore a clean pair of black jeans and the same jacket with a
nice collared shirt underneath
and, of course, my favorite earrings. Set with a nice pink hue,
and surrounded by silver, they
were as close to diamonds as I could afford. They dangled each
time I took a step. As a final
touch to my outfit I attempted to curl my hair a bit in the
front, though it didn't turn out as
well as I had hoped. With that, I rushed out the door and headed
towards the park in hopes of
meeting Grace again for the morning.
When I entered the park, that same feeling of quiet happiness
filled my spirit. It was the
perfect place to see Grace, and I quickly made my way along the
grass and then the small dirt
path until I found our bench once more. I had hoped she would
have already been there waiting
for me but she hadn't arrived yet. The bench wood was still a bit
cool from the night air as I
sat down, waiting, hoping. Sure enough, after about ten minutes,
Grace appeared on the very
same path, the sun shining at her back in a calm aura.
"Am I late?" she asked, holding a different set of
schoolbooks.
"Of course not," I replied, moving over to give her
room.
"Good morning," she said, sitting down beside me. I
returned her salutation, smiling for her
and keeping my hands at my sides instead of fidgeting nervously.
"Oh, you're all dressed up
today. Is this for me?"
I began to blush again, looking at my outfit compared to hers.
She wore a similar cardigan but
this time more of an oatmeal color. She had also cleaned her
bifocals of all the smudges they
had been marked with a day earlier.
"Oh, well... sort of... yes."
"That's sweet of you," she answered. "I love your
earrings, too. I think I have a pair just
like them."
I shook my head a bit, letting them dangle. We both giggled.
"Ummm...so, why did you come talk with me yesterday?" I
asked, hoping not to sound rude.
She looked at me. "Well, I've just been feeling a little...
no," she cut herself off. "I noticed
how pretty you were and thought that it would be nice to have a
little company for once."
"For once?" I asked.
"Well, I guess I could get a lot of company if I really
wanted to. I just don't want... that
kind of company. I want someone who I can talk to and laugh with
right now."
"I can talk and even laugh sometimes, too, if I try," I
added.
We both giggled again.
"I can see that."
I moved a little closer to her for once, feeling my heart begin
to race.
"So what are you studying?" I asked, looking at her
books.
"Everything pretty much," she answered. "I don't
want to close any doors on my future so I'm
taking everything I like."
"Isn't it hard? I could never do that; I would eventually
give up."
There was a long pause. I began to cringe, thinking that I had
somehow upset Grace with my
words. She lowered her head, staring down at her books.
"Don't ever give up hope, Holly... It will always be there
for you."
Her words were sincere, perhaps more memorable than any action. I
felt a surge of emotion rush
through my body as I noticed a single tear run down her cheek.
"Okay," I whispered almost.
Grace raised her head up as I spoke, her eyes a bit watery as she
managed another smile.
"Besides, look how beautiful it is this morning. We should
have some fun."
My eyes brightened.
"Like what?"
"You know, fun," she answered. "Like we always
used to, back when life was more simple. Stand
up." She set her books aside and rose before I did. I stared
up at her for a second, her eyes
seemed so caring. As I continued to gaze, she slid her hands
under my arms. "Up, Holly."
I stood from the bench and blushed a bit more, not sure what to
say. Grace took in a deep
breath, as if she were preparing to jump off the highest diving
board at a pool.
"Okay..." I said, waiting for her to continue.
"Come over here by the stream, and take your shoes
off."
"What?"
"Your shoes," she repeated. "I'll do it too...
come on."
Hesitantly, I proceeded to take off my shoes as Grace watched and
slowly began to remove her
own. She had a nice pair of expensive looking black heeled shoes
compared to my ugly runners.
She didn't seem to care at all that they looked as if a dog had
chewed on them. Once our
footwear was off, we both stood in our socks on the grass, mine
black and Grace's white.
"Now what?"
"Now, off with the socks, too," she stated, smiling
happily.
She quickly got out of hers and tossed them near her shoes,
turning to me as I stood still,
confused and even a bit embarrassed.
"I don't know, Grace, I..."
She stepped towards me. "Oh come on, scaredy cat, get a
little dirty."
Quickly, Grace made a quick lunge towards me, sweeping my feet
out from under me with a swift
trip.
"Grace!"
With tender care I was caught in her outstretched arms and set on
the soft grass. A huge smile
rested on Grace's face.
"Walnut street Karate class, yellow belt," she
declared, grinning.
She reached for my feet and proceeded to take my socks off
herself. I began to giggle
uncontrollably, tickled profusely by her actions. Finally, after
about twenty seconds, Grace
was able to get both socks off, tossing them near my shoes as she
jumped back to her feet.
"Now you can get up and come in with me," she said,
smiling.
"Come in where?"
As I spoke, Grace turned and stepped into the brook's water with
soft steps, sighing for a
second as the cold stream rushed between her feet and ankles. She
raised her arms as if she
were balancing herself on a high wire and made her way to the
center of the calm stream.
"Come in with me, Holly," she smiled. "It's a
little cold but you get used to it."
Without speaking, I looked at the water and then back at Grace.
She looked at me, smiling and
tilting her head to the side a bit. I just couldn't resist. After
looking down at the water
once more, I made a tiny hop from the edge of the brook and
landed right beside her in the
stream, making a small splash that mostly got me.
We both laughed.
"That's more like it," she said. "But I'm not sure
how I'm going to explain my clothes to my
professor now."
"Oh, I'm sorry," I replied, feeling a little guilty.
"Don't be, Holly. I'm glad you jumped in, I couldn't have
done it like that without finding my
face in the water at the same time." She bent down and
picked up a rock, showing it to me as if
it were a piece of jewelry before quickly whipping it downstream,
making it skipping three
times. "You try it now."
I bent over and grabbed a rock, mimicking Grace's toss as closely
as I could. With a small plop
it splashed into the stream, not skipping once.
"Oh fffudge."
"No, Holly, do it with a disc shaped one; kind of like a
frisbee I suppose." She bent over again
and grabbed one like she had described, wiping it off a bit with
her wrist. "Toss away."
I tried once more, this time with a little more power. It still
didn't skip. I felt a little
disappointed.
"I'm no good I guess, Grace."
She smiled, putting her arm around my waist slowly.
"You just need a little practice, Holly, that's all."
I looked in her eyes. This was the closest to each other we had
ever been. I could practically
hear my heartbeat from within my chest.
"I didn't know you went to Karate classes, Grace."
"I started about a month ago. I'm going for a black belt one
day, I hope."
"That would take a long time, wouldn't it?" I asked.
There was another long pause as Grace lowered her eyes for a
moment. After a few moments I
looked down as well, thinking that she was staring at something
by her feet.
"But one day it could happen, Holly, don't you think? One
day?"
I felt a lump growing in my heart; Grace was making me want to
cry somehow. She seemed so
sincere, so determined, I couldn't bring myself to say anything
but what she wanted.
"I guess so... yes, you could do it. Of course you
could."
"I'm sorry, Holly. Thank you. Just talking to you makes me
feel so happy, even a little nervous
too."
"And you do the same for me, Grace," I stated, not sure
really what to say.
Grace closed her eyes, concentrating for a moment before quickly
reverting to her cheerful self
again.
She took in a deep breath. "Well, that was refreshing, don't
you think?"
"Very," I said, a bit more cheery.
"What are you doing later today, Holly," she asked.
"I was wondering if maybe we could have
some lunch together... or something."
Grace definitely sounded nervous, just like she had said, and
just like I would have been had I
asked the same question. She took off her glasses and started
cleaning off the little drops of
water from my big splash.
"Lunch sounds wonderful, Grace, I would love to come.
Where?"
She put her glasses back on, blinking to focus.
"Hmmm... you live on Walnut street, right? I think I know a
good little place on the way here
to the park, you've probably seen it."
"There? Okay, I know it. When though?
"Let's say noonish, that's my lunch break."
"I'll be there," I said, smiling.
"Wonderful," she smiled. "Now, let's get out of
this stream before I freeze my toes off."
Grace stepped out ahead of me, gently holding out her hand.
"Thank you," I said, taking it and stepping out beside
her.
As I knelt over by my ragged runners, Grace knelt to her knees
and set her shoes upon her lap
before me.
"Holly," she said, softly. "I want you to have my
shoes. As a sort of first gift for our
friendship."
My eyes widened.
"Oh, no, I can't, Grace, I can't accept these. They're your
shoes and they look so nice on you,
and..."
She smiled tenderly.
"I know we're the same size, I checked while I was grabbing
for your socks. Please, I want you
to have them, I've always wanted to give a gift to my best
friend."
I felt my emotions pouring to the surface again.
"Best friend?" I asked, in a whisper.
She nodded. "Yes, even though I feel so nervous telling you
this. I must look so stupid right
now."
"No," I began, "I'm honoured, Grace, I..."
"Oh, okay," she replied, softly.
Grace reached forward with her beautiful black shoes, setting
them in my lap. A tear came to my
eye and ran down my cheek, and then a warm smile.
"Thank you so much, Grace. You are the best friend I've ever
met."
She leaned forward and gave me a large hug as I held my clenched
fists against my chest. She
stayed there for a moment, looking over my shoulder and holding
me tight. More tears came to my
face as I waited for a chance to reach up and brush them away.
Grace was so warm against me, so
warm and full of life, I thought. Her heart beat against the back
of my hands, steady and soft
just as her breath in my ear. I closed my eyes, trembling for a
moment, and struggling with the
words I wanted to say. Grace made a sniffle; she was teared up as
well apparently.
When we finally released each other, I opened my mouth; the words
so close to being spoken. I
couldn't find it in myself to say them. Instead, I quickly rubbed
away my tears and looked up
again. Grace was already peering into my eyes.
"Holly, I..." There was a pause that seemed to last
forever. "Why don't you try them on for me."
I took the shoes from my lap.
"Okay," I whispered.
I slipped my black socks back on and loosened the laces a bit on
her shoes before I slid them
both on. Grace was right; they did fit, better than my runners
had even. For so small a gift
it meant more to me than I could have imagined.
"They look beautiful on you, Holly, I'm so glad."
As Grace remained seated, putting on what had been my runners, I
walked back over to the bench
and picked up her schoolbooks. A small flower lied between two of
them, its pedals sticking
out from the top. I brought my nose to the flower and took in the
sweet fragrance. It reminded
me of Grace somehow, and its color was a soft green, almost
identical to her beautiful eyes. I
stared at it for a moment, lost in its familiarities as Grace
tied the laces of my former shoes.
She kept a small cough inward, and then rose fully.
"Your books," I said softly, reaching my arms out for
her to take them.
"Thank you, Holly," she replied, taking them from my
hands with care. "I probably would have
forgot them there actually." I looked down at her feet. I
could see a bit of her socked toe
through a hole in one of the runners. Grace reached for my chin
and lifted my face back up to
hers. "It's okay, Holly, you already make me happy. you
don't have to worry for me, too."
"No, I... I guess I don't. But I can worry 'about' you,
right?"
She smiled.
"I suppose you can. But if you're going to, Holly, I don't
want that to ever make you sad or
anything, that is very important for me."
She kept her hand under my chin for a second then released it.
"Okay..." I said, softly.
"Promise?" she asked, looking at me through her
bifocals tenderly.
There was a pause.
"I promise."
"Goodbye, Holly," she said.
"I'll see you at lunch, Grace."
We came close to each other again, this time both trembling a
bit. A final hug against her warm
body was enough to calm my raised emotions. I felt her
tenderness, her strength, all at once
with her soothing touch. The flower which protruded from her
books lightly brushed up against
my neck as she held her books at my back. Grace took in a deep
breath as we both listened to
the sound of our hearts beating so close to each other. She held
on much tighter than I did,
breathing very quietly in our embrace, almost as if she didn't
want to let go.
CHAPTER III
I set my pen down on the open page of my diary, tapping against
it lightly as my pinky nail
rested between my front teeth. Grace's words continued to stick
in my head, as if she had just
spoken them seconds earlier; 'Don't ever give up hope'. I began
to wonder what Grace thought
about; if she thought about our seeing each other, if she even
really meant everything she said.
She appeared to have a very busy life ahead of her; I wondered
how big a part I played in it.
After closing my diary I fixed up my hair and makeup a bit before
beginning a little maintenance
on my new apartment.
...
The nervous feeling of anticipation I had been feeling a lot
lately wasn't in any less excess as
I closed the door to my apartment and left down the stairs
towards our meeting place for lunch. I actually didn't feel
hungry, my stomach seemed full of butterflies or other crawly
With quick strides, I made my way down Walnut street, staring at
my new shoes as they trudged
along the sidewalk. They reminded me so much of Grace, her
sensitivity, her sense of fashion.
I smiled to myself and thought to skip along the sidewalk instead
of walk, but decided not to
seeing as how I was alone. I restrained myself until I got to the
corner of the small cafe
where we were to meet.
When I stepped in the door, I noticed that the cafe was nearly
deserted. One or two elderly
people sat on benches at the counter and a husband and wife with
their two rather noisy children
sat in a booth in the corner enjoying a family meal. I sat in a
booth by myself near the door,
next to a window where I could see outside. As I took my seat, a
waitress in plain clothing
came up to me.
"Can I get you something, young lady?"
"Oh, I'm actually waiting for someone but... could I get a
lemonade maybe?"
"Sure, I'll be right back, you just wait here," she
said kindly.
After about a minute she returned with my lemonade.
"Thank you," I said, reaching for my purse, which I had
remembered to bring this time.
"Don't worry, it's on the house," she smiled. "You
know, you look very familiar to me."
My eyes widened for a moment as I took a sip from my straw.
"Really?"
"Ya, don't you have a funny looking pair of magnifying
glasses that you sometimes wear?" she
asked, grinning a bit.
"Oh, sorry, no. I'm actually new to this neighborhood,"
I answered.
"I must be mistaking you for someone else then. There's
someone who looks almost just like you
who comes in here sometimes; always has books, always orders a
lemonade like you just did."
She gave me a kind wink and proceeded towards the booth with the
family, carrying a coloring
book for the kids who sat restlessly, asking when their food was
coming. I took another sip
from my straw and smiled with the mother as I made contact with
her eyes for a second.
The door to the cafe had a small set of bells near the top which
sounded every time someone
walked in. Even though I thought I was paying attention, I was
snuck up on yet again.
"Hi Holly."
I looked up from my straw and saw Grace standing over me, this
time without her books and her
hands behind her back.
"Hi," I pronounced softly.
Grace motioned for me to scoot over on the seat, which I did,
though I was a bit surprised; the
other side of the booth was empty. She took a seat and looked
down at my lemonade first, and
then back up at me, backing her head up as people with glasses
seemed to do when in close
quarters with others.
"I was just about to ask for the same thing, Holly. You have
good taste."
"For drinks anyway," I answered, looking down at my
outfit for a moment.
We both smiled. I looked up across the room towards the waitress
who now noticed Grace sitting
beside me. She covered her mouth as if she were concealing a
smirk, then walked back over.
"Now, what can I get 'you'?"
"I'll have a lemonade too, please," Grace said, looking
up at her.
"Of course, I should have remembered," she returned,
flashing me a smirk before turning towards
the counter once more.
Grace turned back to me, tilting her glasses down onto her nose a
bit.
"So, did you have fun today in the park?" she asked.
"Oh, yes I did. How did your professor react to the
umm..."
"He didn't seem to mind, but a lot of people noticed in the
hallways when I came in."
"I'm sorry, again."
She smiled. "Don't worry, Holly, I was fine. And besides I
wore this oatmeal colored shirt just
in case I happened to fall over again, see?"
We both made a small laugh, the two kids in the family booth
heard us over their bickering and
looked up at as from across the room.
"I didn't really have the chance to tell you but... I wanted
to say that you look very nice
today," I said, looking down at my glass.
The waitress returned with Grace's lemonade and then went on with
her duties.
"I suppose I didn't really notice, seeing as how your smile
seems to make me feel just as nice."
I blushed.
"You're so flattering, Grace," I mused.
"Well, this whole thing isn't very normal for me. People
don't talk with me very much, or even
spend time with me for that matter."
"I can't imagine why," I replied.
She took a sip from her lemonade and then folded her arms on the
table, setting her chin down on
them.
"I guess not very many people in my life have ever wanted to
just sit down and talk sometimes.
They were always waiting for it to end so that they could get
back to more important things.
But I like to talk to others; it makes me feel like I'm not alone
in life. I want to be able to
say one day that I lived knowing that I was more than just an
object or someone to be sorry for.
I want to live, Holly..."
I looked up at her, our eyes met, this time unhindered by the
lenses of her glasses.
"I... don't really know what to say, Grace."
She perked up again, smiling.
"You don't have to say anything, Holly. It's nice to just
listen sometimes, too."
"Mmm hmm," I nodded.
We stared at each other for the longest time, locked in silent
communication. The gentleness of
Grace's eyes enveloped my consciousness and I smiled softly for
her, gradually letting go of my
anxiety. Grace reached up with her hand, placing it tenderly
against my cheek. I closed my
eyes, letting her fingers soothe my skin. It felt almost as if a
feather were embracing me.
"Holly... Holly?"
She let go of my face, smiling.
"Having a little daydream are we?" she asked.
"Oh... I guess so," I managed to get out.
She closed her eyes as she said, "What do you dream about,
Holly?"
I looked to my sides for a second, feeling the nervousness start
to knock at my door again.
Grace kept her eyes closed and waited, as though she were
listening to a soft serenade.
"I...don't dream very often."
Grace opened her eyes, a little sullied but still cheerful in her
expression.
"You don't dream?" she asked. I nodded hesitantly.
"Well I love to dream. I've always thought
of dreaming as glimpses of a better life, of the next world even.
A place where everyone is
happy and there is no pain or misery, but only love and caring.
Dreams are something to strive
for, to live for, don't you think, Holly?"
I paused, holding onto a nervous smile. What could someone say to
that? Instead of uttering a
respectable reply to her lively words, I let out only a whisper,
signifying that I was listening
at least, but uncertain of what to say.
"Uh huh..."
Grace giggled to herself.
"It feels like I'm talking to a zombie here," she
stated.
I shook my head, quickly livening up.
"I'm sorry, Grace, it's just that I was so in tune with what
you said."
Grace took my hand into hers gently.
"Oh Holly, I wish we could just sit like this and talk for
hours," she pronounced, happily. I
prepared to make my obvious answer which would have been 'why
can't we', but before I could,
Grace gently gripped my hand and took in a calm breath. "You
know what I like to do everyday?"
"What?" I asked.
I immediately thought she was going to mention something very
strange on unethical, something to
make her seem like a complete stranger again, but instead she
said something that was more true
and life-changing than most people can possibly imagine.
"Everyday of my life I try to do something that I've never
done before, or something that I
would normally never consider doing normally. You know that one
special person you met while
you were out by yourself but you never had the courage to go and
try talking, or someone who you
thought was so beautiful they would never, in their right mind,
want to be with you?"
"You do something like that everyday?"
"Yes," she replied. "Today mine was hoping you
would step into the stream with me in the park."
I focused on the last part of her previous sentence; seeing
someone so beautiful that you felt
so nervous about approaching...
"And yesterday's?" I asked, looking at her softly now.
Grace paused, looked down at herself and then back up at me.
"Yesterday's," she said, slowly. "Yesterday's was
having the courage to walk up to you in the
park."
Her words felt like a wave of happiness against my body, so open
and truthful. Grace held my
hand tightly and then let go, unsure of whether her words were
about to scare me off. I reached
up and gently placed my hand on top of hers, returning the smile
that was so much like my own.
At once, the Grace who I saw as above me and so much more secure
was revealed as the caring and
vulnerable woman she truly was. I felt a great weight lift from
my heart as I looked into her
eyes.
"I felt exactly the same way, Grace. I was so nervous then,
I even am now a bit," I said,
letting my shakiness show just a bit.
"Really?" she asked, attentively. I felt her warm hand
beneath my own as I nodded.
"This almost feels like a dream," I whispered to her.
"I hope it isn't," Grace said. "Because it's one
of the best that I've ever had."
We both smiled at each other; a loving smile, the smile of two
friends who shared the same
feelings of happiness in one another. Grace turned her hand over
underneath mine and allowed
our fingers to lock together. For the first time in my life I
felt open, complete, just as
Grace did. I immediately thought of her words, her vow to do
something that she would normally
never do each day. The words came out as if they were spoken by
another person, I was so
frightened.
"Would... would you like to come to my apartment to...
today, Grace?"
She looked at me for a second, her smile still soft, her eyes
still big and cheerful. She
seemed to realize I was beginning the same daily vow she had
taken.
"I would love to, Holly," she said, softly. I felt as
if I was going to faint. Nearly doing
so, I dropped my head against her shoulder, wearily. Grace
giggled. "Was that today's little
risk for you?"
"It was," I managed to let out, only in a whisper.
Grace gently lifted my head with her hand, bringing my eyes back
to hers. A small tear rested
behind her bifocals. She smiled and stood from the table.
"Let's go then, Holly."
"Okay," I answered, just above my breath.
Grace reached out her hand and I took it, rising beside her. We
were almost exactly the same
height. Before we left, she left more than enough change on the
table to cover our two
unfinished lemonades and even tip the waitress who had called her
'the girl with magnifying
glasses' behind her back. I doubt Grace would have resented her
for it, had she known.
CHAPTER IV
It hadn't been much of a lunch, but as I walked with Grace
towards my apartment I thought of it
as one of the best lunch dates I had ever been on. We both walked
down the sidewalk together,
looking at some of the places Grace knew. She pointed them out
and gave them each a little
description as we passed.
"There's the Walnut street office building, which is full of
a whole bunch of small businesses,
including my karate class I might add. And there's..."
Without her books to hold, Grace kept her hands wrapped together
near her stomach, as if to keep
herself warm though the weather was still quite fair for the
early afternoon. I set my hands
behind my back and looked down, letting my new shoes avoid the
cracks in the sidewalk,
playfully. Within a few moments Grace realized what I was doing
and joined in with me.
We both giggled.
"You do this too?" I asked.
"All the time," she replied, trying not to screw up.
Another pedestrian up ahead noticed the two of us walking all
over the sidewalk with large
erratic steps and crossed over to the other side. The next one
wasn't as passive though; he
walked right between us, making Grace almost trip to avoid a
crack. Instead she stepped down
hard and allowed herself to lose our little game.
"I win," I said, happily.
"Hmmphh, that wasn't my fault," she replied.
I looked up from the sidewalk.
"My apartment is right up there, the white building."
I pointed to my building for Grace. She looked at it and nodded.
"Okay, which room though?"
"I'm in 308 I think."
Grace stopped walking, so did I. She reached out her hands and
took mine in both, looking at
them.
"Holly, I actually have to go to class again today, but I
promise I'll come over after I'm done.
Is that okay?"
"Okay, Grace," I answered.
She released my hands and started to turn.
"Oh and don't worry if you haven't unpacked yet, I don't
mind messy apartments at all."
She took the thought right out of my head; I was so worried she
was going to despise the
conditions in my home. I felt very relieved.
"Okay."
Grace turned around again, and then turned back to face me a
second time.
"Hug?" she asked.
"Yes," I replied, beginning to blush a bit.
She walked back towards me and reached out her arms as we
embraced with a gentle hug. I felt
Grace's quiet heartbeat against my chest and sighed. Something as
simple as a hug seemed enough
to make her content. She held her breath the entire time, waiting
for a long pause before
releasing her grip.
"Bye, Holly."
With that she turned and walked off quickly, starting up another
attempt at missing the sidewalk
cracks.
...
After reaching my apartment, I opened the door and stepped in,
immediately noticing the horrid
conditions that Grace was about to see soon. Caught up in
excitement, I threw off my shoes and
jacket, running over to a nearby stack of boxes to begin
unpacking as fast as I could.
I pulled out my phone from one of the boxes but couldn't find the
cord which plugged into the
wall. I then pulled out what little silverware I was able to buy
before moving and placed it in
the kitchen drawers. After what seemed like sixty minutes of work
I looked at the clock and
noticed it was already five.
I rushed into my room and put on a clean pair of jeans, just in
time to hear a quiet knock at my
door from the hallway. After nearly falling over while slipping
on my last pant leg, I jogged
to the door and opened it. Grace stood there, holding a small pot
full of the same light green
species of flower which I had found between her books. She held
it out, politely.
"House warming gift for you, Holly. I hope you like
them."
I took them from her hands, lowering them so that I could see her
fully.
"Oh, I love them, Grace, thanks so much."
"I actually picked them from Tranquil Gardens, but I'm sure
no one will mind."
"I think so too," I said. "Come in, come in."
Grace stepped passed me and peered around a bit as I closed the
door. We walked into the
kitchen area and I set the flowers down on the already cluttered
table.
"A very nice place you've got here, it's bigger than mine I
think."
"But no where near as clean," I added.
"Well maybe we could fix that, Holly. Would you like me to
help tidy up?"
I pondered her offer for a moment, wondering if it would seem
rude to accept, but decided to say
yes anyway.
"Okay."
...
It didn't take us very long to unpack all of my things, but when
it was finally over we were
both a little exhausted. I felt particularly warm after I had
dropped one of the boxes,
spilling out some of my underwear right at Grace's feet. She
giggled and helped me pick them up
though. After a few more minutes of work, walked into the living
room, allowing Grace the
opportunity to sit down on the couch and stretch her arms above
her head, breathing heavily.
She attempted to hold in a cough.
"There, all settled in now."
I sat down beside her and stretched my legs out for a moment.
Then, for the longest time we
just looked at each other; almost a blank stare, without words
but with great thought. Grace's
green eyes seemed to glimmer from beneath her glasses which
reflected the light from the window.
Her soft features seemed more elegant than usual and her smile
appeared more soothing. Both of
us were very warm and the perspiration from our foreheads showed
through as a result.
"Grace," I said. "Have you ever had a boyfr...
someone special in your life?"
She looked into her lap, then straightened her glasses.
"No... not really. I've never met anyone who was
particularly interested in my life, instead of
just my body."
"Oh," I answered, quietly.
"That's why I like being with you, Holly, because you are
interested in what I have to say. You
enjoy being with me on more than just the physical level."
Grace looked back up into my eyes.
"Yes, I guess you're right."
"And that's why I love being with you, Holly," Grace
said, softly.
I felt the room temperature seemingly double. I turned red at my
cheeks.
"It's... it's very hot in here," I said, stuttering
very noticeably. I stood from the couch and
turned towards the kitchen. "Would you like some...
something to drink, I'll get some drinks,
I'll be right back."
Grace lowered her head.
"Yes, I'd..."
Before she could finish I stepped out of the room and opened the
refrigerator, feeling the first
rush of cool air against my face. I took a deep breath, wondering
if I had really heard Grace
right or had simply imagined it out of exhaustion. I felt my
heart pounding against my chest as
I picked out two cans of Pepsi and walked back into the living
room.
Grace sat with her legs up on the seat and her head tucked into
her arms. I heard a faint sob
from beneath her curled up body. She looked up, her glasses down
to her nose, and tears in her
eyes.
"I'm... I'm sorry, Holly, I didn't mean to scare you like
that. Maybe I should go."
I felt my knees begin to shake.
"No, please don't go, Grace, I..."
"I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable like that. I
know you don't love me that way
and..."
Love. She loved me? Out of all the people I had met and cared for
in my life I never would
have guessed Grace to be the one to express her feelings first.
Possibly because I had never
been with another girl but also because I felt the same way she
did about holding the
importance of another's life before their physical appearance. I
dropped one of the Pepsi cans
as I stood in front of her, trembling and ready to collapse.
"You... love me?" I asked, in a whisper.
Grace looked up at me. Her glasses fell off of her face and onto
her arms. She grew a very
emotional smile beneath her tears and nodded.
"Yes, I do."
I felt as if I were going to pass out. The heat became almost
overwhelming as I fell to my
knees in front of her, gripping the cold soda can as the only
source of cold in the room.
"I love you too, Grace."
She widened her eyes, just as I had the first time I had been
called her best friend. Yet again
the progression of our feelings had crept up on us both
unexpectedly. Grace set her legs back
down on the carpet and opened her arms up. I fell into them and
she hugged me more tightly than
ever before, sniffling as I just began to tear up. She made a
tiny cough near my ear before her
breathing steadied.
"I've always loved you, Holly, I just couldn't bring myself
to tell you. I didn't ever think
that you would feel the same way. I'm... I'm happy."
I raised my head, our faces now directly in front of each other.
"Grace..."
Like the first moment we had hugged, when our lips met the
feeling was a thousand times greater.
It was like nothing I had ever experienced before, or had ever
guessed I would do. Her touch
against my lips was more soft than I had ever imagined, so warm
and soothing. I felt the room
grow a slight bit cooler but at the same time my vision became
shrouded with light, as if the
sun had somehow begun to shine twice as bright. Our tears poured
over our lips slowly, finally
ending, though our first kiss did not for nearly another minute.
My first kiss, I thought,
though it actually wasn't. There was no other description for the
experiencec; it felt more
angelic than any of my previous ones put together. It wasn't a
kiss of lust or pleasure, but
one of love; the kind two feel when they finally realize they
were meant to be together. I
dropped the other soda can abruptly when we finally parted.
"Wow..." Grace said.
"Wow..." I said at nearly the same time.
"Can we do it again?" Grace asked, softly.
"Yes."
Our second kiss was nearly the same, but even more emotional if
that was possible. I felt the
heat seemingly eating away at me and I also felt a warm itch
between my legs at the same time.
The light shined on Grace as it would an angel. Her hair became
damp, as did mine and it stuck
to our faces with perspiration when we parted again.
"That was...incredible, Holly. How do you feel?"
My head began to sway back and forth.
"I feel, I feel... warm."
As I finished speaking, my head flopped into Grace's lap, too
weak to pull itself up. I passed
out from the heat almost immediately.
...
When I awoke I was lying on the couch, the two Pepsi cans resting
on my stomach, and Grace
standing over me as she bit her nails nervously.
"You're all right," she said, letting out a huge sigh.
"I was going to call an ambulance but
your phone..."
"...Isn't hooked up, I know."
I reached for the soda cans on my stomach.
"That's the best I could think of," Grace said, smiling
timidly.
"I think it worked," I answered. "Now I'm feeling
a little cold."
Grace sat down beside me.
"I love you, Holly."
I smiled with her, soothed by the soft words which I knew could
never be worn out.
"I love you, Grace."
"Whenever I even say that to you it feels so wonderful, it
tingles even."
"It does for me too," I added.
Grace looked into her lap.
"Maybe it's because we're not supposed to love each other
like this," she said, quietly.
I sat up, a little concerned.
"What do you mean."
"I mean... I don't think I'm ready to run out and tell
everyone that..."
"That we're gay?" I asked.
Grace nodded.
"Actually, I'm a little surprised myself... when you put it
that way."
"I don't think you just wake up and realize it. Maybe this
is how it is for everyone, I don't
know."
I picked up one of the soda cans and proceeded to open it.
"It feels nice to share it with someone though, not be
alone," Grace said, softly.
As she spoke, I popped open the can, spraying fizz onto my face
and remembering that I had
dropped both cans earlier. Apparently none of my clumsiness had
changed following our little
relvelation.
Grace giggled to herself and just stared at me. After a few
seconds I was able to open my eyes
and stare back. The sun was at her back yet again, as if it
followed her somehow, again casting
a bright aura around her. I watched as she slowly slid across the
couch and brought her face
close to mine, causing the hairs on my arms to stand on end. Her
lips came to my forehead and
kissed me softly, taking in the majority of the pop fizz which
had splashed onto my face. I
took in a deep breath, letting Grace's subtle perfume tickle my
senses. It was a sort of fruity
fragrance, the kind younger kids wore when they couldn't afford
the designer trends. Still, it
suited her more than any expensive perfume did, I thought.
"I tried to bring you to your bed after you passed out, but
I'm not exactly... I couldn't lift
you," Grace said, pulling away.
"I've never preferred the tough, strapping type, Grace. I
love you just as you are."
I was truthful with my words. Grace seemed like an angel in my
arms, just as gentle if not more
than I was, and more beautiful than words could accurately
describe. I reached my arm around
her and brought her close, smiling as the glare from the window
clouded my vision.
"That feels nice, Holly."
I rested my hand on her back.
"What does?"
"Your touch..."
The same tingling feeling which I had felt earlier returned as
Grace whispered her words in my
ear. We both began to move against each other, softly. A soft
grinding as we repositioned
ourselves. I pulled my legs up onto the couch and lied across the
full length of the cushions
and Grace sat upon my thighs, leaning over and tucking herself
between me and the back cushions.
Our hair intertwined a bit as we breathed quietly together. She
then reached out her free hand,
the other tucked under her body, and took hold of my own. She
brought it close to her and gave
my hand a small kiss on the backside.
"I've never... been touched like this before, Holly,"
she whispered.
"Neither have I."
"I love you, Holly, and I trust you..."
With the gentleness of a feather, I set my hand on Grace's
shoulder and ran my fingers up and
down her bare arm. In return, Grace set her head down just above
my chest and closed her eyes,
resting her own hand around my waist. With each soothing stroke
she took deeper, more
comforting breaths, sighing as if it were the first time she had
felt another's touch. Across
the room, the blinds of my apartment windows swayed back and
forth in the calm breeze, cutting
the sunlight into long shards which stretched out over the room
and the couch. I was reminded
of the same peacefulness which we had both encountered in
Tranquil Gardens. The warmth of
Grace's body against mine seemed like a soothing blanket; the
first real indication of
companionship I had felt in my life.
I let my hand move upwards towards her neck, resting my fingers
upon the back of her head under
her chestnut hair. Grace's pulse was steady and calm, full of a
life so giving and
compassionate for having ever talked to me in the first place. I
stared down at her feet which
were clad in another pair in white socks which showed recent dirt
stains. I wondered if the
pair of shoes she had given me were her only pair, as I hadn't
noticed what she had worn when I
answered the door.
Grace turned her head to the side and rested it on my chest,
making only the slightest sound
with her breathing as I ran my hand through the hair at her neck.
Between my legs the feeling
of warmth seemed to vibrate softly. My fingers ran through her
hair, pushing it out of her face
and away from her forehead.
"I love you," I whispered.
Grace's hand lied limp in my palm as I gently reached down and
grasped it. She had fallen
asleep in my arms. I rested it back at my side and let my head
rest on the arm of the couch,
covered by my sleeping companion. Without a sound or movement, I
let myself close my eyes and
drift away into a dreamless sleep, hoping that if I did one day
dream, it would replay the
moment we had first met and the experiences we were sure to share
together in our new life.
CHAPTER V
I awoke with Grace's warm body still huddled up between mine and
the couch, almost silent with
her breathing. The light from the windows was faint, the sun
hadn't risen yet, and the room
felt cool from the open blinds which calmly swept back and forth
in the morning air. I looked
down to see Grace, her glasses hanging off her nose from subtle
movements during the night.
Her hair had fallen into her face and her one leg rested between
my thighs where it was still
slightly warm.
Grace yawned inwardly and cuddled in closer, oblivious to the
fact that I couldn't move with her
on top of me. I reached out and took her hand, rubbing it gently.
"Hey... Good morning, sleepy head," I whispered.
Grace pushed her back against the couch in a stretch and looked
up at me through her hair.
"Holly... is that you?"
Her eyes couldn't seem to focus on mine, instead looking at the
whole of my face as she couldn't
focus without her glasses. I gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
"Yes, it's me. It's morning now, Grace."
"Morning?" she replied, a little confused. "Did
we..."
"We fell asleep on each other, yes," I quickly
returned, not answering what she might have
intended to say.
"I can't feel my arm," she said, quietly.
I quickly moved myself away from the back cushions of the couch
and let Grace free her arm.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
"It's okay, Holly, it's always okay. What time is it?"
I looked around for a clock but couldn't find one.
"The sun hasn't risen yet," I answered.
"I'm sorry I dozed off like that, I just get tired
sometimes. You were so gentle and..."
"I've never had someone spend the night before, it was
wonderful."
She finally gathered the strength to lift herself up from my
chest, dropping her glasses from
her face onto my neck.
"Did you dream, Holly?"
I thought of what to say, knowing in the end that our love was
built on trust, on honesty.
"No," I said, sounding a little discouraged.
"You will, Holly, one day, and it will be wonderful."
"As long as I have you, Grace, I don't need to dream."
Grace lowered her head and stood from the couch. She straighted
her wrinkled clothes out and
turned towards the window where the sun still sat on the horizon.
"As long as you have me," she whispered, her back to
me. "I guess some dreams aren't that far
off after all."
I pondered her words for a moment, thinking to myself what they
might have meant. As she always
would, Grace was able to brighten up instantly as if her emotions
flowed from a hot and cold
running tap. I reached for her glasses at my neck and put them
on, playfully. I couldn't see
anything at all in them, but I clearly heard Grace's giggle when
she turned to find them on me.
"I guess I should get cleaned up," I said.
There was a pause.
"Holly?"
"Yes?"
"Would you like to walk with me to the park this
morning?"
"Of course I would," I replied. "Was that you're
risk for today?"
"No," she answered. "I'm still thinking about that
one."
"I can't go out like this," I noted, looking down at
our clothes. They were indeed wrinkled
from our night together on the couch.
"I don't have anything else to wear either," Grace
said.
I removed her glasses and handed them back to her, looking
towards my room.
"Come with me."
...
After searching my newly decorated closets for a few minutes, we
were finally able to pick out
two nice outfits for the both of us. I handed Grace a clean pair
of black jeans and one of my
loose white t-shirts. Grace set them on the bed as I pulled out a
similar outfit, only with a
tank instead of a t-shirt.
"I guess I should leave while you change," I said,
quietly.
Grace didn't reply but gave a passive nod and watched me step out
of the room. I leaned against
the wall on the other side of the door and waited, listening to
Grace's quiet movements. After
a few moments the sounds stopped.
"I'm done now."
I turned and walked back in, getting my first look of Grace
wearing one of my outfits. It fit
her perfectly, though the jeans seemed just a little loose at the
waist without a belt. Grace
tucked in the t-shirt and quickly appeared flawless again.
"It fits," I said.
"Very well too, thank you." Grace walked towards the
door slowly. "I'll let you be alone to
change."
As she passed my arm I reached out my hand and gently took hers.
"You... can stay if you'd like, I won't mind, Grace."
"I... okay," she replied, looking back and forth
between me and the living room.
Just as with all of the other rushes and anxieties I had felt
during my time with Grace, a new
one became apparent, the thought of actually changing in front of
another person. I knew that
to some, such a thing was trivial and almost stupid to dwell
upon, but I wasn't exactly the type
who flashed others on a daily basis or even wore skirts often. I
wondered if what I had said
was my risk for the day, or just something that I wished for
Grace to see.
She stood with her hands behind her back in the door frame as I
walked over to the bed and
pulled off one of many tarnished shirts that I often wore under
my jacket each day. I kept my
back to Grace as I unclasped my bra and set it down on the bed,
reaching for one from my
dresser. The floor began to gently gently creaked; an indication
that Grace was trembling a bit
on her feet. I giggled to myself, wondering if she felt even more
nervous than I did.
"I don't do this often," I said, stopping for a moment.
"What?" Grace asked, quietly, desperately restraining
her eyes.
"Change in front of other people, not even at swimming pools
whenever I can."
I let my hands come to my sides as I turned back towards her.
Grace looked up at the ceiling,
nervously.
"Neither do I... but I usually try to avoid situations like
that altogether," she said, finally
built up the courage to look down at my body. Her eyes remained
on my face for the longest time
before she looked down. "You're beautiful, Holly."
"I guess that's what companions are for, to remind each
other that," I said, trying to sound
calm. "I think you're more beautiful than I am, Grace, for
sure."
She blinked rapidly for a moment, and her legs became noticeably
shaky.
"I love you, Holly, I really do."
"Will you hold me, Grace?" I asked, softly.
With a calm, deep breath, Grace stepped forward and came towards
me, taking me into her arms.
My bare skin met with the material of her t-shirt. She lowered
her head and rested it on my
shoulder as we turned in very slow circles almost like a dance. I
closed my eyes.
"I've always lived in a rush, Holly," Grace said, her
voice becoming softer with each word.
"Pushed into things that I don't think I was ready for. I
was always told that it was best for
me, and that when I was old enough I would be thankful" Her
voice continued to grow softer with
each word, as if the memory of such a past were painful for her.
I felt her tears begin to run
down my chest. "You're the only person in my life who has
taken things slowly, the way they are
meant to be taken with people. I always want to be with you,
Holly, forever."
Forever; perhaps one of the most powerful words when it came to
love. I held Grace tightly and
knew that it was something possible for us. A promise that we
would both keep for the rest of
our lives, and long after that.
I returned Grace's tender embrace and felt her tears upon my body
more than ever before.
"Forever, Grace..."
Her words were less than whispers now, and she spoke without
looking into my eyes.
"Even when we one day part?"
I lowered my head to try to see her eyes though they were still
hidden.
"What do you mean, Grace?"
"I... I want to go to the park now," she pronounced,
holding in a cough.
CHAPTER VI
The morning seemed quiet, peaceful, soothing. Across the horizon,
Grace and I viewed the calm
aurora which rose over the entrance to Tranquil Gardens as we
both entered. It was well before
seven, and the cool air of the night had not yet left the
interior of the park. I held Grace
close to me, keeping us both warm, and she never once took her
eyes away from mine until we
reached our bench and the sounds of the serene brook. We both sat
down, not having said a
single word between us since we had left the apartment. Grace
finally found it in herself to
slide right over beside me and hold me as she had before.
"What did you mean before, about one day?" I asked,
quietly.
Grace peered across the brook at a patch of the flowers which I
thought reminded me of her.
"Do you believe in Heaven, Holly, of angels and life
hereafter?"
"I've... never really thought about it, why?"
"Do you believe in a place where there is no pain or
suffering, where two lovers can live on,
forever?"
"I already live that life with you," I stated.
"But we won't live forever," Grace returned.
"We may not, but hope will, love will."
Grace looked up at me.
"Hope," she whispered. "Hope will always be
there."
"You taught me that, Grace, and I believed you."
"I do too... now," she replied.
I took Grace's hand into my own and looked into her green eyes as
they shimmered with tears yet
to be shed.
"Why are you telling me all of this?"
There was a long pause, and yet Grace couldn't find it in herself
to turn away this time as she
spoke. The honesty, the trust of our love couldn't stop her from
hiding what few knew.
"I'm sick, Holly..."
The words struck me as if the world had only one minute left to
live; a sharp pierce into my
heart which drew forth tears of bewilderment and fear. Grace
continued to hold my hand tight as
she sensed the great pain.
"Sick? I... don't understand."
"It's been like this for a long time now. To only dream of
what a life is like that's normal,
to live every day as if it were your last. But... when I met you
I finally felt as if I were
truly alive. You've taught me what it is to be loved by another,
and to love, and you have given
me what I could never have by myself. Hope."
Tears burst forth from my eyes, and from Grace's as well as I
stared into hers. She took off
her glasses and tossed them onto the grass at our feet, taking me
with both arms. The warmth...
the life inside her. I couldn't accept her words as the truth.
"But you can't be. Your life, your school... you said you
wanted to finish it all."
"I never wanted to give up hope, Holly. I've always tried to
live my life as if nothing were
wrong, as if I would live to see my life lived out at my own
pace. I always believed that one
day I would be happy... and then I met you."
Grace now openly cried in my arms, taking quick, heavy breaths
and gasping for air.
"I don't... want to lose you, Grace. I love you."
"We will always be together, Holly, that was my
promise."
"You won't die, Grace, I know you won't. You're stronger
than I ever could be, you've lived a
happier life than I ever could. I only hope that things will
always be that way for us."
Grace reached her hand under my chin, exactly as she had done
once before.
To live with the knowledge that you would one day die had been
one of my greatest fears. For
those who lived such a way, they could only pass on what little
they could, to tell those of us
who question our lifestyle how truly lucky we were.
"As long as your hope is alive, I can never truly die,
Holly. I'll always be with you, in your
heart, in your dreams..."
"...And in my life, I swear it. Good people don't die."
The wind gently picked up as we held each other, crying for what
seemed like hours though only
minutes passed. The sun rose for us both, bringing the promise of
a new and loving day which we
would spend together. It cast a bright beam upon us both,
illuminating the hope that we both
held as if it were something tangible. Across the brook, the
flowers I adored swayed back and
forth in the growing wind; some strong, some less so. I opened my
eyes to see the smallest
flower in the patch bend against the breeze, finally snapping
from its bed and flailing into the
stream. When it finally left my sight I could still remember its
beauty as vividly as if it
still bloomed.
Grace held me in her arms, feeling the cold now blowing against
her own body as it drew near us.
Our tears met the wind together.
CHAPTER VII
We held each other for nearly an hour, not speaking, but looking
at the calm waters of the brook
instead. Grace kept her eyes closed for the majority of the time,
compensating for her glasses
which she hadn't yet picked up from the grass. Her warm touch
against my skin was more than
enough to help me bear the cool breeze which seemed to circle us
continually. The sun continued
to shine through the trees, persistent and full of a hope all its
own.
Grace opened her eyes every so often to look at me, her tears
finally dried. I let my hand run
up and down her arm as I had before.
"Is this the end of our relationship, or a new
beginning?" I asked.
"I think it's a beginning for us, Holly. I can't keep
anything from you, you deserve to know,
because I love you."
"Are you ever afraid, Grace? Of dying?"
She looked out over the brook again, managing a smile through
what I would have thought to be
misery.
"I think about it sometimes, not very often though. I've
never believed that life should be
about waiting to die, but living the time you have as best you
can."
"And are you?" I asked.
She looked back up at me, gazing into my eyes, softly.
"Of course I am."
A smile came to my face, after what seemed like so long. Grace
was calm and quiet, not
frightened or miserable. She looked upon life as a gift, and knew
that some of life's most
precious things could never end, even in death. I found it in
myself to function under that
same belief. Grace had once said that she didn't want me to worry
for her, so I decided to be
happy for her instead.
"So, where do you live, Grace?" I asked, brightening up
a bit.
"Hmm... about four blocks away from you, near the
university."
"Is it a nice neighborhood?"
"I like it," she replied. "Though it is a little
smoky near my apartment."
"You mean smog?"
Grace made a quiet giggle through her dried tears.
"No, cigarette smoke, silly. All of the smokers like to use
the benches near my home."
"You don't like smokers?" I asked.
"Well, I don't like what they do, but I don't dislike them
as people. I understand how hard it
is to quit."
"I think it would be a lot easier if they didn't start at
all," I added. "Maybe we should stop
glamorizing it the way we do, in books, on TV."
Grace and I smiled.
"I suppose it has to start somewhere."
Grace leaned over and retrieved her glasses, putting them back on
and standing from the bench to
stretch. Her hair blew in the calm breeze and the sun reflected
off her bifocals as always.
She continued to stretch, eventually moving into a more
complicated position.
"I've never seen that stretch before," I said, smiling.
"Oh, I like to do yoga every so often," Grace replied.
"I actually had a class for this too, but
I bought a book on it instead, so I could do it at home."
Grace stretched her legs and spread them far apart, leaning
towards the ground with her
outstretched arms.
"It looks hard," I said.
"Would you like me to show you some, Holly?" she asked.
"We might be seen."
Grace giggled, straining a bit from her maneuver.
"It's not like we're naked or anything. I guess it could be
today's risk for you."
"Okay... I guess."
Grace stood fully once more.
"Come stand beside me then, Holly," she said. "You
don't usually do yoga in jeans, but we won't
try any really hard positions, okay?"
"Right."
I stood next to Grace and watched her position. She stood with
her feet balanced, and her hands
together in sort of a prayer position. I quickly mimicked it.
"Let's try... the sun salutation, that's a nice one,"
she said, smiling. "Stand like me... okay
now take in a deep breath... good. Raise your hands above your
head, kind of like reaching for
the sun or something, I'm not sure how that goes."
We both giggled.
"I take it you don't know a lot about the spiritual side of
yoga," I said, grinning.
"Well, there's only so much in the book I've got," she
replied. "Okay, now keep your arms up and
bend them back behind you, get those hips forward..."
Grace was doing the movements twice as well as I was, but I was
doing okay for a first try. It
felt so nice to exercise with Grace in the park. She was quick to
cheer herself up and I admired
her for that. The cold that had chilled our bodies moments
earlier began to fade as a warm,
burning sensation built up in our limbs.
"Now start to breath out while bringing your arms forward,
and touch the ground," Grace said,
watching me out of the corner of her eye.
"Like this?"
"No, no...do it without bending your knees, Holly, like I
am."
I grunted as I attempted to do it correctly. I wasn't exact the
most flexible person in the
world.
"Easy for you to say," I managed to say, in a heavy
breath.
"Well, it all takes practice, Holly, you'll get it
someday."
We continued our yoga until we got into some even more
compromising positions for the two of us,
seeing as how we were both wearing jeans. At one point we were
both down on our hands and knees
in a position that Grace called the cobra; we couldn't help but
giggle at each other for how it
might have looked to anyone watching. When we finally finished,
Grace came back into the
starting position with her hands together in a prayer. We did it
two more times before she
finally noticed me struggling with each position.
"Shall we do it again?" she asked, looking over to see
me sitting down on the grass heaving.
"Ohhh... sure, that was easy."
I slumped my back down to the grass and stared up at the sky and
the branches of the nearby
tree. Grace gave me a scolding look before smiling once more.
"You should try this stuff more often, Holly, it's a great
energizer."
I continued to breath heavily.
"Ya, maybe after I regain my lost strength from trying this
stuff so early in the morning."
Grace bent down to her knees near my legs and sat with her hands
in her lap.
"I'm glad you tried it with me though, Holly. Thank
you."
"It was great," I said, inbetween breaths. "We
should try it again sometime... next year."
Grace smiled softly, and then lied down on the grass beside me,
directly in line with my eyes.
She put her arm around my waist, as she had done the night
before.
"How can I repay you?" she asked, softly.
"Just... be here with me." I whispered.
She smiled her soft smile.
"For as long as I can, Holly."
I paused for a brief moment, looking into her eyes and admiring
her soft features. Grace let her
bifocals come down to her nose, coughing inwardly. I took a deep
breath, staring at her soft
expression.
"Will you die, Grace?"
"One day," she whispered, looking away for a moment.
"But it's not our choice to decide when.
I'm here now, Holly, and I'm living the way I want to. If I do
focus on anything in the future
it's our life together, not the day I will die."
"Don't ever leave me," I whispered.
She looked down at herself once more, closing her eyes.
"I have to go now, Holly. I'm... late for class."
"Please stay, Grace... please."
"I wish I could just stay here with you, forever," she
said, softly. "I'll stay, for as long as
I can."
"Okay..."
She sat back up and waited for me to stand first. I stood over
her and just looked down at her
silently. Grace looked down at the brook off to her side, a
bright glint in her eyes.
"I remember when I first came to this park, Holly. It was
with my mother when I was twelve. We
sat together under this tree, the bench wasn't here back then,
and neither were the flowers. I
loved it here so much. It was the day before I found out... And
ever since then I've always
come back here to try and relive that same happiness I felt when
I was a child, but through all
of these years it never felt the same until I found you sleeping
so quietly on the bench. I
wondered if I was dreaming, if our meeting was real."
"And what do you feel when you come here to the park
now?" I asked.
"When I'm with you, Holly, it's almost as if I'm reliving
that day, but not only here in the
park but... everywhere."
"I love you so much, Grace, and I hope we'll always be
together."
There was a pause.
"Don't ever lose that hope, Holly. If we should ever part,
or not be together for any time."
"Don't say that, Grace," I said, reaching for her hand.
She lowered her head and allowed me to take her hand. It trembled
slightly.
"I'm... not afraid anymore, Holly."
"Afraid?" I asked, softly.
"Afraid of being alone, afraid of not living the way I
wanted to, afraid that I would never find
love in the time I have."
"You don't ever have to be afraid again," I whispered.
Grace wrapped her arms around my neck and brought her face close
to mine. Her tears broke
through the barrier she had put up to restrain them, but I
couldn't cry with her. I knew that
she didn't want me to be sad for her. We kissed each other
openly, a kiss of love, as was our
every embrace. My heart pleaded the words that I almost couldn't
say out of a fear that my
answer would not be met. Our lips parted, Grace let go.
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Grace, I love
you. Will you stay with me?"
The pause lasted for an eternity, our hands held on together.
Grace cried still. I could not.
"I will, Holly, I will."
I felt her hair with my fingers, struck with a surge of joy.
"Grace."
"But... I have to go now."
"Don't leave, Grace."
"I will always be with you, Holly," she said. "As
long as you don't give up that hope."
Grace rose to leave. I grasped her hand, holding her back.
"I'll be here tomorrow, I promise," I said, not wanting
to tear up.
She peered down at my hand.
"Okay."
"Grace," I said, watching her green eyes flutter with
tears. "What if you don't come?"
Her gaze remained soft, loving, and full of hope.
"If I don't come," she said, pausing for a long moment
and looking towards the stream. "One may
always dream..."
I didn't ever want to let go, but gradually I let her fingers
slip away. For the first time in
our relationship I felt apart from her feelings, her life. Grace
stepped back as I stared into
her eyes, once filled with a hope that I felt present only in my
own heart somehow. I opened my
mouth to speak, but could not breath life into the words I wanted
to say. I looked towards the
brook where the flowers watched on silently. When I looked back,
Grace was gone.
CHAPTER VIII
The sun became covered with clouds for the first time since I had
visited the park as I walked
down the path of Tranquil Gardens to return home. The warmth
still beat down on the trees and
flowers, but I felt empty somehow, without Grace by my side. I
found myself continually looking
back, hoping that she would come running up the path to be with
me, but soon I reached the end
of the path and she did not come.
"I'll see her tomorrow," I said to myself.
"Tomorrow."
I let myself walk slowly on the sidewalk, staring down at my
shoes, Grace's shoes, and
remembering the day she had given them to me. I managed a smile
for the first time since
leavingI the park.
When I reached my home I stared up at my building, noticing the
blue sky above it, and the
clouds which had gathered. I sat at home for hours, alone with my
thoughts. I wondered how
Grace truly felt about our love. A love which, to some, would
never be accepted or understood.
I imagined Grace, alone somewhere, scolded by those who had
caused her the pain I felt when I
held her; the pain which seemed to vanish whenever she merely
spent time with me throwing rocks
in streams or sitting in my home.
I managed to fall asleep for a short time. It was a sleep without
dreams, as all of my nights
had been. My rest was a pleasant relief from being away from the
one I loved, but it could not
distance my thoughts from her. I woke many times, hoping to see
her in my arms as she had been
the night we had slept together.
After only a short period of time, I stood from my couch, filled
with a strange anxiety. I
walked into my room and picked up Grace's old clothes which she
had left from our evening
together and pressed them hard against my cheek.
I'll see you again, Grace..."
The clothes faintly smelled of her, not the smell of any fancy
perfume, but her hair or rather
her shampoo. Even without her face before me, I could see her
features in my head as clearly
as if she were standing before me. I cried for her until the sun
no longer shone in the sky.
Before I turned away from the window, I whispered the words that
had become more important in my
life than I had ever thought possible.
"I hope..."
That night, I fell asleep on the couch again instead of my bed.
...
The next day seemed to arrive sluggishly. I awoke to find myself
shivering, thanks to the open
window and a cold breeze. I rose and made haste to get ready for
our next meeting, throwing on
some clean clothes and brushing my hair as best I could. Before
leaving my home, I grabbed
Grace's clothes and put them into a bag which I carried out the
door on the way out.
Outside, the air was still chilled and only a few cars lined the
usually busy traffic lanes. It
was early morning, my favorite time of day. I entered the park,
hoping to find Grace sitting on
the bench early for perhaps the first time. The bench was empty,
as was the rest of the park.
I walked over to the bench and sat down, setting Grace's clothes
down beside me.
Minutes passed, the sun rose higher, and Grace did not come. I
looked behind myself every so
often, hoping to see Grace come skipping down the path with her
loving smile. My hand rested on
the bag of clean clothes, gradually tightening my grip as the
minutes continued to pass. Soon
the sun found its place high in the sky; the first time it had
reached its highest point
without Grace with me to see it.
I closed my eyes, trembling as I felt a tear run down my cheek.
"Don't leave me, don't leave me," I repeated to myself
under my breath.
I lied down across the bench, hoping... crying. The feeling of
fear and anxiety pressed against
my heart, lost in the worry that she wouldn't ever show up, that
she was truly gone. I waited
on the bench until the sun left the sky. I was alone...
CHAPTER IX
I returned to the park every day, and every day I sat alone on
the bench for as long as I could
before leaving. My love for Grace gave me the strength to return,
the strength to keep the hope
that one day we would walk together again. Her memory beat deep
within my heart, willing me
onward each day, reminding me of the love we shared and the
memories we created through our
experiences together.
A great time had passed. I had a job as a writer, I studied many
subjects in university, I took karate
lessons, I practiced yoga nearly every day, and I wore glasses. I
often slept on my couch,
crying at night and waiting for the day I would see Grace again.
My happiness for life itself
pushed me forward, and our vow to try something new each day had
lived on for the time we had
been separated. I had never held anyone closer to my heart than
Grace, though many others had
entered and left my life since we had last met. I lived the same
pain that Grace once had, but
with the strength of hope and undying love to guide me each day;
something that she had never
had, but gave to me as what I still refused to call a 'final'
gift.
In the time that had passed, I had kept my promise to return to
the park each day, to keep the
hope that Grace was alive and that she would be there for me, to
love and to hold as we once
had. I knew that no length of time could distinguish our love for
each other. I knew Grace and
I were meant to be together, and her words stayed with me through
all of the days gone by,
through all of the tears shed.
It was that day I waited for a short period of time before
leaving for the park, Grace's clothes
in hand. It felt as if a lifetime had gone by, time enough to
truly test the bounds of my hope
for Grace.
I left my apartment, taking in a breath of fresh air, and passing
the old cafe where we had once
met. Skipping along the path, I smiled to myself softly, avoiding
the cracks in the sidewalk,
watching Grace's shoes move effortlessly on my feet. My glasses
slid down my nose and rose back
up with each stride, shining in the sun's light after passing
each intersection between the
buildings. The streets were lined with cars, leaving for work as
they did each day.
I entered Tranquil Gardens, our park, hoping to see Grace there
already as a result of my
lateness. She was not near our bench. The branches of the trees
waved back and forth in the
light wind along with my hair which I allowed to flail into my
face as I approached the bench.
The golden leaves fell gently from the large tree overhead to the
browned grass, carried by the
quiet wind. I held onto Grace's clothing with both hands,
wrapping my arms around them as she
had once done with her schoolbooks when we had first met. I
embraced the memory tightly,
knowing that I would never forget that day, and wishing that she
with me.
The water of the brook was cold as I came to one knee and let my
fingers dip into it. I thought
of myself in bare feet, laughing with Grace and tossing rocks;
just living. Living the way we
both wanted to even though I hadn't realized it at the time. I
remembered our laughing, our
giggling, and our crying together, cherishing the memories which
were now more important than
ever. I often wondered when I cried if my tears were of sadness,
or of happiness. I believed
them to be tears of life, of one's hope and desire, and dreams.
A voice rose above the brook.
"Is everything all right?"
I spun around, hoping to see Grace again, smiling happily and
looking at me with her beautiful
green eyes. It wasn't Grace, but a middle aged woman with black
hair; the first person I had
seen in Tranquil Gardens besides Grace. She had not made a sound
and yet she was directly
beside me as I continued to cry.
"No... I'm waiting for someone," I managed to say.
"Why are you crying, child?" the soft voice asked.
"I... I don't know..."
The woman wore a white garment that seemed to be bright even in
its shadowed areas. Her eyes
showed a similar gentleness to Grace's; the look of love and
compassion. Her voice was just as
soft as her appearance.
"Who do you weep for?"
"Grace," I answered softly.
"Do you care for her?" she asked.
I looked up at her, surprised.
"Yes, do you know where she is?"
"I'm sorry, I do not," she replied quietly. "Why
do you wait for her?"
I looked down, the tears running down my cheeks and onto my
clothes.
"I... I care for her, with all of my heart."
Her smile was soft as she looked upon me. The sun began to blind
my vision slightly.
"How long have you waited here for her?" she asked.
"Six years..."
"Will you continue to wait for her should she not
come?"
I paused, looking down at myself, my shoes.
"I will always wait...for as long as I live."
"Why, child?" she asked, quietly.
"Because I... love her."
She smiled, and reached out her hand slowly. I took it. Instantly
my hate, my pain, and my
sorrow were taken away. Her touch held a gentleness I could not
describe. My tears came to an
end.
"I do hope that you one day see the one you love again, my
child. For two lovers, a life is
sometimes a long time to wait, but it will never let them be
apart if they truly love each
other. You will see Grace again. But until then..."
"Until then?" I asked.
Her smile remained as she released my hand and turned towards the
path. Her footsteps were
silent as she found it and vanished into the trees. I looked
down. In my hand she had left a
small gold pendant which glimmered in the morning light. I opened
it slowly. Inside was a
ticking clock and the inscription 'One May Always Dream'. I held
it tight in my hand for a
moment, looking back to where I had last saw the woman, my eyes
with tears. The pendant rested
around my neck as I left the park, holding Grace's clothing
tightly, hoping... wishing.
CHAPTER X
The morning had always been my favorite time of day, always. It
was a cool autumn day when I
arose and found myself lying on my couch, like so many nights in
my past. The sun sat on the
horizon, as it had nearly every day for years, waiting to fully
find its way into the sky. It
was that day I decided to visit Tranquil Gardens for the last
time.
I left my home wearing my jacket; the one which I had kept for
six years, and the one that I had
first hugged Grace in. Outside the air was fresh, quiet and
peaceful. The sun peaked over the
buildings calmly, as if to wait for my arrival into the park. The
streets were empty, no one
walked along the sidewalk, and the sound of my feet skipping
along the path echoed through the
vast buildings which lined Walnut street. I avoided the cracks
without effort, and I was able
to travel faster than I ever had before as I skipped along.
Grace's shoes clicked against the
concrete path with each stride, sounding far off in the distance
as I approached the entrance to
Tranquil Gardens.
The sign at the entrance gleamed in the morning light and I
pushed my tawny hair out of my face
to see it fully. I calmly passed into the boundaries of the park,
embracing the same feeling
which I had once felt on my first arrival, and taking in the air
which seemed endlessly fresh.
It still felt like a setting out of a fairytale.
"I was right," I whispered to myself, remembering the
first words I had ever uttered upon my
entrance into the park.
The golden trees along the path rustled in the faint breeze,
dropping their leaves as slowly as
the tears of my memories, leaving the dirt path clear for my feet
to walk. I closed my eyes,
able to guide myself along the path as easily as if they were
open. Soon, I approached the
sound of the gentle brook, and the rustle of the tree which
sheltered our bench.
My eyes remained closed. I passed the trunk of the tree and
reached out my hands for the bench.
It came into my hands and I came to a stop, opening my eyes
slowly amidst the near blinding
light of the still rising sun.
Grace lied on the bench, huddled up as she had once done on my
couch, silent in a gentle sleep.
The sun shone down on her as it would an angel, staying with her
through every slight movement
she made. She was there, she was with me, she came back...
My tears burst forth as I became filled with an incredible
happiness, hardly believing my eyes
as they looked down upon the most beautiful, caring person I had
ever met. I felt my knees
tremble, my heart race, just as they had the first time we met. I
reached out my hand, almost
blinded from tears of absolute joy. My arm cast no shadow on her
as I whispered almost too
softly for anyone to hear, but she did.
"Grace..."
She curled up tighter, making her first sound above the brook's
quiet flow. Her arms stretched
out and finally came to her face, filling with life as she awoke
to my gentle call.
"Holly..."
I fell to my knees in front of her, the sun behind at my back but
still shining perfectly down
upon her. Grace opened her eyes, her beautiful green eyes. The
tears coursed down my cheeks as
I took her hand into mine and felt the warmth of life within her.
"Hi," I whispered, smiling with joy.
She looked upon me, her eyes able to focus without her glasses,
which rested on her nose.
"Why are you crying, Holly?" she asked.
"I... thought I would never see you again. I thought that
you had left me."
"I didn't leave you, Holly. I've always been here, waiting
for you ever since that day. I never
gave up hope, I never stopped loving you."
"I... I've been waiting to, Grace, and I've never stopped
loving you," I said.
Grace sat up slowly, pushing her chestnut hair out of her face.
Her features glowed in the
undying light which surrounded her, and she looked just as she
had the first day we had met; she
had not aged.
"I must have dozed off," she said softly. "I'm
sorry."
I wrapped my arms around her, feeling the same loving person I
had felt the first time we had
embraced each other.
"You don't ever have to be sorry, Grace. You taught me
that."
We parted, our eyes still locked together. Grace looked around
for a moment, seeing clearly for
the first time. She took her glasses from the tip of her nose and
held them in front of her.
"I can see, Holly. I don't need..."
"And what do you see, Grace?" I asked, softly.
She set her glasses down.
"I see the one I love, the one that I always want to be
with. Forever."
"Forever," I whispered.
Grace leaned forward, we kissed. It lasted for longer than any of
our others, and it was filled
with the happiness that I had waited for after so long. There
were no more troubles anymore.
There was no pain, no suffering, no fears, only the love that we
had waited for so long to live
again. Our lips parted, we stared at each other, wrapped in a joy
that coursed through us both.
"Can we... make love, Holly?" Grace asked, softer than
ever before.
My heart jumped within my chest.
"Was that your risk for today?" I asked.
"It's my risk for all of the time that we've spent apart,
for every day that you waited, and
kept hope."
"Yes, Grace..."
We both continued to smile, just staring at each other and not
really sure what to say or do.
Grace finally built up the courage to lean forward and rub her
hand up against my cheek and
hair, breathing softly and trembling at the same time.
"I love you, Holly. I think you're the most beautiful girl
I've ever met."
"Grace," I whispered.
I reached out my arms and assisted Grace up from the bench. We
held each other, walking next
to the edge of the brook and finding a soft place upon the grass.
Grace lied her back down
and looked up at me with her big green eyes, smiling and
trembling just as I was.
"Do you remember the night we spent together, Holly? The way
you touched me?"
"Yes."
"Do it again," she whispered.
Grace lifted her arms above her head and closed her eyes. Her
soft, beautiful body lied before
me, trembling in anticipation. I let my hands rest on her
stomach, caressing her skin through
the material of her shirt, my shirt; the same one she had worn
the last time we had seen each
other. Grace took in a deep breath with each pass of my fingers
across her navel, and we both
giggled out loud.
"I love you, Holly. I trust you."
My fingers unfastened the button on Grace's jeans. I began to
feel warm, and the wonderful
feeling between my own legs returned just as it had the first
time we lied together on the
couch. Our breathing quickened, and Grace's eyes remained closed.
My arms shook with
nervousness as I pulled her jeans slowly down her legs. Grace let
out a quiet sigh, resting her
arms on her stomach.
"Grace, you are wonderful," I whispered, listening to
her breathing which calmly mixed with the
soothing flow of the brook nearby.
Her jeans reached her knees, and then her ankles. Grace jerked
her legs and kicked them off,
sighing in between her heavy breaths. Her chest heaved up and
down, anxiously. I let my
fingers run up and down her thighs, feeling her silky skin and
the warmth of her body in the
bright sunlight. Grace moaned for the first time, tensing up as
my fingers passed near her
beautiful vagina. She began to writhe slowly, moving her legs and
tensing her toes in
anticipation. The first touch of my lips against her soft skin
sent jolts through both of our
bodies.
"Oh Holly..."
I began to kiss Grace's thigh, inhaling her soft fragrance with
each gentle pass, and squinting
as my head still didn't seem to cast a shadow upon her. After a
deep breath, she began moaning
quietly, keeping her eyes closed as the leaves gently fell to the
ground around us.
The moment finally came. With one final pass across Grace's warm
thigh, I rested my lips upon
her, kissing her vagina softly, still through the wet material.
Her moaning remained calm as
she continued to breathe deeply, gentle with her movements
beneath my embrace. It was the most
erotic moment of my life. Between my legs, I felt the same
arousal press against my own
underwear, slowing growing more warm. The soothing heat surged
through us both, willing us
forward and building our passion to heights I never knew were
possible.
Around us the leaves continued to fall, creating subtle breaks in
the rays of the sun upon my
body. The waters of the brook trickled with a gentle rhythm in
our ears, mixed evenly with our
breathing. Grace was at peace; we both were, and the sensations
were slowing beginning to drown
us both in a tranquil bliss, one without lust but gentleness,
devotion.
Grace moaned louder, opening her eyes narrowly. I lifted my lips
from her warm vagina and saw
her gentle gaze, the endearment of her eyes more clearly than
ever.
"Are you happy, Grace?" I asked, softly.
After a short pause, she sat up and smiled softly, coming to her
knees as I did as well.
"I've never been more happy in my entire life," she
whispered.
Grace leaned forward and kissed me. I closed my eyes. Her hands
gently became rested on my
shoulders, then ran down my arms until she reached my hips. I
kept my eyes closed and slowly
slid my arms out of my jacket, letting it fall behind me just as
Grace began to mimic what I had
just done with her jeans. She undid the button and began to blush
profusely.
"What is it?" I asked.
"I've never done this before, Holly, I..."
"Let your instincts guide you," I whispered. "And
don't be afraid, Grace."
"Okay," she answered, quietly.
With that, I took her hands into my own and guided them to the
base of my cardigan. For one
last fleeting moment, Grace peered at my body, fully clothed and
waiting for her soft embrace,
the embrace of an angel.
Gently, she pulled my t-shirt over my head, revealing the last
item of clothing above my waist.
I peered down as Grace gently let her hands run across my bra in
a caress that felt truly
divine. I let out a quiet moan, causing Grace to look back up
into my eyes, pulling her hands
away.
"Did I hurt you?" she asked softly, frightened even.
I softened my expression, sighing.
"No, Grace, your touch is... nice."
She looked back down at my bra and smiled, a tear rolling down
her cheek. We were both still
trembling, unable to abandon the anxiety of making love to each
other for the first time, and
filled with an excitement that we were unsure of how to express.
Grace's tenderness showed
through in her every subtle action. The love, the admiration, all
of the things I had hoped I
would feel again for so long.
The leaves continued to fall around us, creating a perfect circle
as if a storm had enveloped
us but both but left us in peace amidst the calm center. Grace
reached under my arms and
unclasped my bra, blushing at her cheeks uncontrollably as we
both sat on our knees. She held
onto the straps and slowly let my bra fall to my lap, pulling her
hands away and staring at my
breasts with clear eyes for the first time.
"You're so beautiful, Holly," she pronounced, nervously
almost.
"Thank you, Grace," I whispered, returning her smile.
She reached her hands out once more, this time taking my bare
skin into her hands just above my
stomach, then reaching upwards and cupping my breasts gently. I
let out a more prominent moan.
Grace continued to blush. Her touch against my bare flesh was a
soft as a feather, warm and
caring but a little ticklish at the same time. Grace let her
fingers run over each small mound,
holding her breath, smiling, and narrowing her eyes. After a
moment, she slowly moved one of
her hands away, setting it between her legs as if to hold
something in. Our bodies both pulsed
with a vibrant energy, bombarding our senses.
"Oh, Holly, I feel so..."
She looked down at herself, and finally let her other hand return
to her knee as she looked back
up at me, flushed and red.
"So do I, Grace," I whispered.
With my continued words of support, Grace seemed to calm
slightly, allowing her trembling to
slow and her breath to become paced once more. She had not
coughed once since I had roused her.
Slowly, she leaned her head forward, placing a delicate kiss upon
my breast. Her warm breath
sent shivers down my spine as she backed away. I immediately let
out a great moan, louder than
all others before it. It felt as if I had reached a small peak of
excitement, quickly subsiding
as Grace calmly blew against my bare skin.
The entire park seemed to grow brighter, and the sound of the
brook more rhthmic, as she spread
her knees further apart and let out a whimper in between her
breaths. Grace gazed down as my
hand gently reached between her legs, slowly beginning to caress
her. After a short pause, she
let out a deep whimper, looking up into the sky and letting the
light shine on her soft face.
"Holly..."
After a long sigh, Grace leaned forward and hugged me tightly.
"Yes?" I asked.
Without speaking, Grace reached for the bottom of her own shirt,
pulling it off slowly and
letting it fall to the grass.
"Do I look okay?" she asked, peering at herself.
"Perfect, Grace..."
She smiled, letting another tear run down her cheek as she pushed
her hair out of her face.
"Thank you, Holly," she said softly.
I felt tears begin to run down my own cheek; a cry of happiness,
of experiencing such a
wonderful thing with the one I loved. Our eyes became watered but
neither of us wanted to truly
cry, we were too happy.
"I never dreamed this could happen between us," I
whispered.
"Some dreams are worth waiting for," Grace replied.
I didn't answer but instead I reached out my hands and set them
on her shoulders, gently pulling
the straps of her bra down her arms. Grace looked down at herself
and smiled, still blushing as
she let out another sigh. She reached behind herself and
unclasped her bra; it fell into her
lap. I stared at her beautiful breasts as they rested bare before
me.
"They're so beautiful, Grace," I said quietly.
She looked up at me.
"Thank you," she answered, very slowly.
I looked up into the sky, the brightness of the sun, and then
back down at Grace. The same
light shone on her as she sat before me with a single garment of
clothing left on, and tears of
happiness in her eyes. I had once said she looked similar to an
angel, but she wasn't at all
similar; she was even more beautiful. I blinked my eyes and the
tears ran down my cheeks as I
let my hands embrace her breasts for the first time. Like I had
felt with my own, Grace sighed
and began to whimper rather than moan, remaining slightly more
quiet than I had been, but
cherishing every second of my touch as much as she cherished my
presence at her side.
"Oh, Grace..."
She finally looked directly at me, then down at my body.
"Do you feel the same way I do, Holly?"
"Yes," I whispered.
Slowly, she reached past my unbuttoned jeans.
Upon her touch, I let out a quiet moan, releasing her breasts as
a second peak of excitement
coursed through my body. I slowly lowered myself backwards,
gently resting my back on the soft
grass. Grace removed her hand and took a hold of my jeans,
sliding them down my thighs with
gentle care. They stopped at my knees as Grace stretched her legs
out behind her and lied down
on her stomach, resting softly on my jeans.
Without speaking, Grace removed the final layer of clothing
between her and my vagina. The
sensations of the next few moments were the most passionate I had
ever felt. The brightness of
the park soon exploded into a white light which remained even as
I closed my eyes.
I let my hips writhe back and forth, pressing into the soft grass
and tickling myself at the
same time. The excitement I felt grew to tremendous levels, and I
moaned as loud as I could;
crying, not holding back. Another explosion of light, another
jolt of pleasure as Grace kissed
my body, my vagina.
All at once I cried out, unable to control my excitement, my
emotions. It was the most
incredible feeling I had ever experienced. It was the happiest
and most special moment of my
life, and I was so happy to have shared it with the one I loved.
Soon, Grace brought herself up just above my face, smiling
softly, her face still blushing. The
sound of the brook came back into our ears gradually
"How did it... feel?" she asked quietly.
I smiled, and narrowed my eyes in the blinding light which
covered her entire body.
"It was heavenly, Grace," I whispered.
She lifted herself up and came beside me before lying down once
more. Our eyes were parallel,
full of tears and happiness. Our love seemed so alive now, so
powerful, that I felt more than
complete. It was the first time I truly accepted my life with
Grace and how wonderful it was;
we were both living the way we had always wanted. Our care for
each other beat in our hearts as
we stared at each other, lying on the grass near the quiet brook.
Nearly every leaf from the
tree overhead had fallen, and yet none had touched us somehow.
The sun's rays seemed to shelter
us both with a bright protection and soothing heat. The wind
rustled the hair into our faces
every few seconds, but we still continued to look at each other,
into the love which could be
seen in both of our gazes, as clear as the waters of the brook.
"I love you, Holly. I wish there were more to say for what I
feel when I'm with you."
"You don't have to say anything," I replied. "I
love you just as much, Grace."
With that, Grace looked down at herself, and I did too. We didn't
have to speak, but removed
the last garments of clothes we were wearing and stood up
together, naked but more comfortable
with each other than ever before. Grace took my hand and held it
tight, not wanting to let go.
We made our way to the bench, our bench, and sat down.
...
We held each other for the longest time, not sure what to say but
knowing that our love would
never die even though we could never truly be together.
"Why did you leave me, Grace?" I asked, letting the
tears run down my cheeks slowly.
She ran her fingers through my hair, smiling softly, her touch
lighter than a feather's.
"I said I'd always be with you, Holly, and I will."
"I don't want this day to ever end," I whispered.
Grace wiped away the tears from my cheek, and looked out across
the waters where the flowers
stood strong in the gentle breeze, full of life and untouched by
the autumn weather.
"It doesn't have to, Holly. As long as you don't forget me,
we can always come back."
I looked up and let my hand come to Grace's chin, pulling it
towards mine gently.
"I'll never forget you, Grace... I love you."
Our kiss was the most passionate of all our embraces. A final
consummation of my affection for
Grace, and the last time we ever had to affirm our love for each
other. Her angelic body
remained close to mine, forever lit by the warm rays of the sun,
and forever happy as I wished
her to be. We made love on the bench until our tears finally came
to an end, but it was a new
beginning for us both, I believed.
Our love was special, our love was forever. I held Grace in my
arms, her memory the last gift I
would receive from her. When we were together there was no pain,
no suffering, no death, just
the love of two women who had cared for each other more than they
ever thought possible. She
taught me to live, she taught me to have hope. Hope enough to
push forward with her love as a
light to guide me through the darkness.
We both held each other, forever, until we fell asleep in each
others' arms. When I awoke, the
love and affection of the one I loved remained with me as I found
myself alone on the bench.
The sun sat in the sky and shined down upon me, reminding me of
the life I still had to live,
and how happy it was going to be.
I peered down at my pendant, and then looked up to the sky one
final time to see a single light
green flower fall from the trees and land in my lap. It was
Grace's flower, her reminder, her
promise that we would see each other again. In its pedals glowed
the color of Grace's caring
eyes, so full of life and hope. I took the beautiful flower into
my hand and set it in my hair,
standing fully and walking towards the brook, full of an endless
happiness. I stood in the
center of the stream in Grace's shoes and bent over to take a
final stone in my hand. Looking
down at it, I opened the pendant and smiled softly, whispering
the words that a loving girl had
once said before tossing the stone as hard as I could and
skipping it for the first time.
"One may always dream..."
...
Grace died of cancer eight days after we met. It spread to her
lungs shortly after her
nineteenth birthday, but she lived on long enough to have
experienced a happy life in my arms.
Her wish to live her life without fear came true for the short
time we were together. Her
memory would always be with me, and so would her love, forever. I
knew from that day forth she
would never be truly dead; she would live on in my dreams, just
as she promised and I always
hoped. Love can exist between two women, and my love for Grace
would live on, for always.
Until the day we would hold each other, and walk together once
more...
END
For my girlfriend, the one I care for and will always love for as
long as I live.
"Don't ever give up hope, it will always be there for
you."
http://www.asstr.org/~serenecherry
I would love any comments at serenecherry@hotmail.com