SUMMARY: David is shaken up over his breakup with his girlfriend. He manages to find a shoulder to cry on, his sister Carmen's.

COMMENTARY: I really like the way this story is constructed. There isn't too much emphasis on the sex, but it is definitely there. I like the fact that the story doesn't feel forced. It seems to have a natural flow to it. There are parts of this story that I found very arousing, and there are other parts that I found very touching. David isn't the narrator, but he does get a lot more attention from the author than does Carmen.

OBJECTIVE ANALYSIS: 9.0 (out of 10)

• Arousal: 4/5
• Editing: 5/5
• Plot and Characters: 5/5

SUBJECTIVE ANALYSIS: Excellent

LINK(S):

• If This World Were Mine - Part 1 (of 1)