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Title |
Christine |
Author |
Shadow Cleric |
Story Code(s) |
M/F |
Length |
2,900 words |
Rating |
Not Good |
Summary |
Dave falls for his new boss, Christine. |
Commentary |
This was a good effort, for a first draft. The dialogue was
good. The dilemma was apparent and there was some
tension in this story. The sex scenes were of an
appropriate length, just enough to give the reader an idea
of what was going on. The characters were well done,
although they were more types than they were fully fleshed
out individuals. This story read like an outline. It was not well formatted. The scenes were bunched together. My advice to ShadowCleric is to find someone to help him (or her?) in completing this story. Because I write reviews of stories, and not first drafts, I cannot recommend this one. This does not mean that there is nothing good about this story, simply that it needs some work. |
ASSM |
Christine |