COMMENTARY: This story isn't too long and the author does not mince words. As short as it is, I still like the fact that she breaks the story down into seven or eight short segments. It gave me a better sense of the story's flow and the segment titles offered a bit of foreshadowing.
A number of things make the sex as hot as it is. Four things specifically come to mind: Kelly's boldness, Kai's relative innocence, the location, and an unexpected visitor. Kelly isn't shy about her body or her expressing her feelings for Kai, both verbally and nonverbally. Kai has never "been with" a woman before and despite being attracted to Kelly is not as bold as her. Most of the "action" takes place on the side of a mountain where the two women first sunbathe and then have sex. Halfway through their tryst the women are interupted by a male hiker/observer.
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