SUMMARY: Mac and Pam double date with Rick and Deb.

COMMENTARY: Wow! This story is hot. It sizzles. There isn't a whole lot dialogue, and normally that would bother me, but this time it doesn't. The author does a wonderful job with describing the scene that involves these four people. The focus doesn't rest for too long in any one place. Also, the author does more than just describe physical actions, but also gets into describing the emotional state of his characters.

On the down side, there are a number of spelling errors. At times this may confuse the reader as to who is doing what to whom. While the spelling errors are an eyesore, they were not so many as to interfere with my enjoyment the story.

...

Okay, I've decided to blab on a little more, so bare with me -- er -- bear with me. I was thinking about this story, after rereading it, and I began to wonder about what it was that made me like it so much. I think that it has to do with the narration. Specifically, the narrator, Mac, allows Pam to -- er -- pull him into a situation that both arouses and distresses him at the same time. His descriptions give the impression that he isn't the only one experiencing mixed emotions. The end result is a wild sex scene involving Mac and Pam and Deb and Rick, in which it turns out that his anxiety was groundless. I don't know if I can explain it any better than that, but I enjoyed this story so much that I felt that I should take another crack at explaining it to you.

OBJECTIVE ANALYSIS: 9.0 (out of 10)

• Arousal: 5/5
• Editing: 4/5
• Plot and Characters: 4/5

SUBJECTIVE ANALYSIS: Outstanding