|
Alley of OoPS : 390 |
Title |
The Handyman |
Author |
J. Edwins |
Length |
8,700 words |
Main Character |
Male |
Combination(s) |
Twosome (1 Female, 1 Male) |
Orientation(s) |
Heterosexual (Female, Male) |
Relationship(s) |
Aquaintances |
Kink(s) |
-- |
Setting(s) |
Home |
Genre(s) |
-- |
Caution(s) |
-- |
Summary |
A handyman becomes friendly with Pam, the 32-year-old daughter one of his clients. |
Commentary |
This story is somewhat arousing. The author takes the time to build the story up, and I can appreciate that. Unfortunately the author also goes into a little bit more detail than I care for when it comes to the sex. This is a well written story. It flows well enough. The characters seem real. In particular, the way that the narrator has to push Pam, to get her to tell him what she wants him to do, struck a chord with me. I liked the tone of the narration, but prefer more dialogue than is present in this story. Some of the paragraphs seem longish and unwieldy. This story has potential, but it isn't quite there. It is well written and somewhat arousing. The main problem that I have with this story is that the author explicitly gives too much away in the narration. I feel that it would work better if he gave less detail and allowed the reader to fill in the rest with his/her own imagination. I have given this story a Good. |
Arousal |
3 out of 5 |
Editing |
4 out of 5 |
Plot and |
4 out of 5 |
Objective |
7.0 out of 10 |
Subjective |
Good |