Alley of OoPS : 315


Title

The Needle and the Dungeon

Author

MichaelD38


Part

1 of 3

Story Code(s)

F/M, F/F, Teen, BDSM

Length

20,600 words

Rating

Excellent

Arousal Factor

High

Story Factor

Ultra

Summary

Ashley is curious about "deviant" sex. David has built a virtual reality device. The device is designed specifically for sexual experimentation. It allows Ashley try quite a few things out that she would have been too afraid to try in real life.

Commentary

So far I really like this story. Whether the last two thirds of the story are as good as the first one third is another matter.

I like both Ashley and David. Both seem to be seeking something through experimenting with the virtual reality devices. Their lives are incomplete. They need something more, but are not quite sure where to find it. Then again, I might just be seeing things.

The supporting cast is just as well drawn as the main characters. If I were to single out one of them, it would have to be Jasmine. She is the artificial intelligence that runs David's virtual reality machines. She is only a computer, but she exhibits some behaviors that make her seem like more than just a machine.

Read the author's warning at the beginning of the story. It should give you an idea if this is something that might squick you. I highly recommend what I have read so far. It is entertaining, arousing, and thought provoking. I cannot think of a better combination. On the other hand I can accept that some people might be revolted by some of the scenes in this story.


Part

2 of 3

Story Code(s)

F/M, Teen, Caution

Length

17,200 words

Rating

Very Good

Arousal Factor

Average

Story Factor

High

Summary

Ashley and David begin to develop a special relationship. Ashley finally tells her parents about what she has been doing and where she has been. Their reactions are not very supportive.

Commentary

There is more plot development in this part of the story than there is anything else. There aren't any significant characters introduced. Everything pretty much grows out of what MichaelD38 set up in Part 1.

It does seem that in this segment the story shifts from one that is solely about personal exploration and sexual experimentation, to one that is also about two people growing together. Ashley is still the focus of the story, but David seems to become an important part of her life.


Part

3 of 3

Story Code(s)

F/M, F/F, Teen, Caution

Length

17,900 words

Rating

Excellent

Arousal Factor

Average

Story Factor

High

Summary

Despite being pregnant and against David's wishes, Ashley attempts to complete the most difficult virtual reality program that he has built.

Commentary

This segment wraps up the loose ends that were left exposed at the end of the last segment. While there are some arousing scenes, I found this third of the story to be more like the second one than the first. In other words it was not about sex, but about something else. Part Two seemed to be about plot development. Part Three seems to be about character development.


Part

Complete

Story Code(s)

F/M, F/F, Teen, Caution

Length

55,800 words

Rating

Excellent

Arousal Factor

Average

Story Factor

High

Commentary

I enjoyed this story quite a bit. To paraphrase what I said earlier it is arousing, riveting, and touching. I was not aroused more than I was riveted and touched, so I would have to say that if you are looking for stroke material then you should look elsewhere.

One thing I really enjoyed about reading this story was visualizing the various VR scenarios that Ashley was experiencing. Some had horrific elements in them and some did not.

In the end this story is a romance of sorts. The more extreme activities might frighten off some who like romance. If you are such a person then I encourage you to attempt to read this story. It about much more than just sex, and for that matter it is also about more than just romance. At its heart I think this story is about "coming of age" or growing up.