Chapter 34

'Carter and Tolliver,' Robert Rankin mused, rubbing his somewhat itchy scalp, staring at the assignment sheet. He was riding the second half of a double after a hard-drinking Saturday night that he hadn't fully recovered from by the time he reported for work Sunday night. The pair represented a missed opportunity -- although exactly HOW he had screwed up wasn't at all clear. One day they were going great guns -- he'd played a little with Tolliver's ass and Carter had indicated that they were BOTH approachable -- and then things suddenly went into the deep freeze. Then shifts had changed and he'd rotated to Pediatrics and the two hot nurses had become a fantasy -- and after a while, even THAT had faded.

Now they were back together, sort of, but Tolliver wasn't generating the same smoky aura as before. Too bad -- she'd been HOT in the bathroom that time... One day, he would chase down something that didn't see dollar signs every time she looked at him.

"Good morning, Doctor," a voice purred at his side.

Robert jumped. "Good morning, Nurse Carter."

"Graveyard was bad?" Louise asked solicitously.

"No," Robert sighed. "Saturday night lasted all day Sunday."

Louise nodded. "Why don't you go down and get a quick shower? You'll feel better..."

"Maybe..."

"I'll yell if we need anything, Baby."

Robert's eyes widened. "Uh, thanks!" Yeah, she was smiling... Damn! Was the hunt on again? He shot off down the hall, jet-propelled.

"What was that?" Beth asked.

"I'm warming him up," Louise replied. "It's amazing what you can do to a man's attitude with a word or two. Do you remember how to jiggle that ass? He'll start begging and drooling if you get out there on parade..."

"I dunno -- is it fair to tease him if we're going to end up giving him something else?" Beth wondered.

"Baby, I'm gonna offer him US -- and he can have the other stuff as icing on the cake, if he wants it!" Louise replied.

"OH! Well, then..." Beth grinned from ear to ear. When Rankin emerged from the bathroom freshly showered a few minutes later, she bathed him in a smile that warmed him like a blow dryer from the other end of the hall.

Robert couldn't help it -- he lit up like a Christmas tree -- which only made things hotter...

"Do you want to be here?" Louise asked, "Or do you want me to make the pitch without you?"

"I'll, um, provide moral support," Beth replied, thinking, 'and make sure you don't try to keep him for yourself!'

"So, ladies, how have you been?" Robert asked. It was lousy conversation, but...

"How kind of you to ask!" Louise bubbled. "Busy, of course -- it's amazing the kinds of trouble you can get into if you just try..."

"I'm sure..." 'What does THAT mean?' Robert wondered.

"Say, Doctor, how did you enjoy your gynecology rotation?" Louise asked.

Robert had learned that looking at ailing pussies wasn't a lot of fun, but he played up, "Well, it was certainly interesting. I'm looking to be a GP, but I'll keep my hand in. After all, most female patients will see me first, anyway."

Louise nodded. "How open-minded are you? I'm sure you can't really benefit financially from charity work, but would you be open to a little pro bono work?" She eyed him sidelong. "Or something that is pro bono as far as the IRS is concerned, but is more of a barter?"

Robert sighed inwardly. 'Here it comes. They want some kind of a freebie. God knows what they're offering as payment -- why do women always have to advertise sex and deliver something else?' "I'm pretty busy..."

"I know, Baby, and unless I miss my guess, you're doing your own laundry and nuking your own TV dinners, too. But you could get us out of a jam, and the payoff is, well..." Carter was eyeing him sidelong again -- and she'd called him 'Baby' for the second time today. And Tolliver was standing there, looking hopeful...

"What is it?" he asked, resigned. "Flu shots? The old folks' home?"

Tolliver tittered. Carter looked serious. "Oh, no -- nothing like THAT! Look, Baby -- do you have a moral problem with birth control?"

"Well, no..."

"What about prescribing for, say, mildly under age patients?"

Robert frowned. "What's mildly?"

"Sixteen? Seventeen?"

Robert snorted. "That's when they need it worst!"

"Uh huh." Louise nodded. "And do you have a problem with a lack of parental consent?"

"From parents who don't want their daughters pregnant, but stupidly don't want them on birth control? Who expect healthy human animals at their sexual peak to ABSTAIN from sex?" Robert ranted. "No!"

Louise eyed Beth poker-faced. "I believe we've hit a hot button!"

"Damned straight!" Robert agreed. "Idiots!" His tone was scathing.

Beth took the plunge. "I'm wondering," she asked. "How do you think boys should be introduced to sex?"

"Well," Robert declared, "not by a girl who knows less than he does!"

"How were YOU taught?" Louise asked, when she got over the shock of Beth's approach.

"Er, uh, by an... older woman..." Robert stammered. His father had hired a hooker for the evening, actually.

"That's a pretty good method, I think," Louise murmured.

Robert worried that he'd made the wrong impression. "It wasn't, um, a relative, or anything..."

"Of course not, Baby," Louise replied, patting his hand. "Was she, um, a professional?"

"Yes, actually." Robert nodded. "My father arranged it."

"Sensible man," Louise approved.

"I'm not drawing a connection," Robert muttered.

"Be patient, Baby," Louise replied. "We're trying to work our way through a minefield. We don't want to ask you to do anything you won't approve of, and we can't really reveal a whole lot..." She smiled. "If we come out the far side, though, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the result..."

"So how illegal is this?" Robert asked.

"Well, it's a shades of grey thing," Louise replied blandly. "In the seventies and eighties, some people would have considered it a public service -- but given the recent moral backlash..." She shrugged. "We belong to a group which has several younger members who are just being introduced to sex. In order to protect them, we need for them to be examined and contraceptives prescribed."

Robert eyed her. "I COULD tell you to tell them to use rubbers..."

Louise nodded. "But you and I both know that they won't, by and large."

"Yeah." Robert just stood there.

"What?" Louise asked.

"I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"There are a couple of pair still out," Louise informed him.

"Thought so," Robert replied. "How many?"

"It's occasional," Louise replied. "We're not the YWCA. Right now, it's one, I think. Maybe two." She thought about it. "From a cost savings standpoint for the patient, it might be nice if you did three." Beth looked a question. "I don't know how good Adele's health insurance is." Beth nodded.

"Okay, so, two or three gyno exams and I prescribe birth control for minors without their parent's consent," Robert mused. "Why can't they just go to a clinic?"

Louise shrugged. "Money. We'd like to keep the whole thing in the group, so to speak. Some of the girls might be ambivalent about describing their sexual experiences. And there are a couple of adults in our group, which opens them up to statutory rape and pedophilia charges if a doctor who doesn't understand the circumstances starts probing..."

"Ah." Things started to make sense. "Tell me about this group." He glanced around, but things were quiet, for the moment.

"It's, umm, intergenerational," Louise explained. "In some areas, the lines get crossed regularly. The group's original make-up was adult women and teenage boys."

Robert blinked. "Mothers and sons?"

"Well, yes and no. You see, the group's original charter was a pact to provide the boys with sex without incest. That rule is still in place. But the group's makeup leads you directly to that conclusion, since just about every adult woman in the group has a son in it." Louise eyed Robert carefully.

"So, you're exchanging sons?"

"More or less," Louise admitted. "Reality is always a bit more complicated."

"I'm fascinated," Robert admitted. "But I don't understand where the young girls come in..."

"Baby, that might require us to air a LOT more dirty laundry -- and we really don't have a grip on you, you know? What I just told you would make a District Attorney drool, knowing that he would CERTAINLY be re-elected after he put a bunch of us in jail..."

"The simple answer is that the boys can't take us out on dates and to school events, you know?" Beth interjected. "So there are girls involved..."

"Girls who know too much," Robert nodded. "Girls who a doctor, smelling something fishy, might press into dangerous admissions..."

Louise nodded.

"Okay, so, what EXACTLY do you want?"

"Well, Baby, can you work with this? Does it all bother you?"

"No, it doesn't bother me. I bet somebody's mother is a hell of an improvement over a hooker..." Robert mused.

Louise nodded. "Judging by the results, you'd be right. I guess it all depends; the minimum would be that you conduct the occasional exam and collect your fee from us..."

"What kind of fee are we taking about?" Robert asked. There was an obvious answer hanging out there, but Nurse Carter had made that silly comment about his laundry and cooking...

"Why, us, Baby!" Louise smiled. "We'll provide you with a little relief for all that tension we see in you all the time..." She reached up and caressed his neck.

Robert almost shot a wad in his underwear. "Sex?" he gasped.

"Yes, Baby. You look at our little girls, and we jump your bones -- something we've been wanting to do, anyway. Right Beth?"

"Uh huh!" Beth nodded vigorously.

'I do NOT believe this...' Robert thought, shaking. He was twenty-eight and visibly unremarkable -- not particularly good-looking, but not ugly. Sex was something he didn't EVER get enough of -- largely because he had to get to first base with a woman to let her know what he did for a living. Being a doctor was a draw, but it drew gold-diggers, by and large, and when they figured out what a resident was, they hit the street. Before he got into medical school, he hadn't even had that... "That's the minimum?" he croaked. "What's the max?"

"You'd have to jump in and join our little group, Baby. That would mean that you would be a lot more involved in what's going on, and it would require a commitment or two from you, to ensure the group's safety..." She paused. "Frankly, for Beth and me it's not a gain, because we would have to share you -- but for you there would be several benefits..."

"Like what?"

"Well, for starters, since the young things have started arriving, the ratio of males to females has shifted. There are more of us, ummm, requiring service than there are guys to do it, if you get my meaning..." Louise eyed him sidelong.

'I have died and gone to Heaven...' "Are there a lot of women in this group, then?" he croaked.

Louise did some counting on her fingers. "About a dozen -- and there are four more in-bound. Of course, the boys aren't sharing some of the younger stuff, having staked claims..." She eyed him. "Baby, you're looking kind of flushed..."

"I wonder why?" Robert burbled. "And what do I have to do to join this group?"

Louise grimaced. "That's where things get tricky. You see, all of us have skeletons in our closets to keep us from blabbing all about the group and getting everyone trashed -- even the sweet young things. Some of those skeletons are manufactured; we would want to manufacture one for you..."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that we video you doing something illegal, immoral, and fun, Baby. In this case, there is an obvious option."

"There is?"

"Baby, we're walking the line, here. I need some kind of indication..." Louise replied.

"This is pretty hot," Robert sighed. "I don't see how I can pass... So what terrible thing are you thinking will work for my initiation?"

"Well, Baby, what we're looking for today is three pelvic exams and three contraceptive prescriptions, max. Of those, two will be teenage girls. If one of them pays you directly, and we video it, that's a pretty solid skeleton to stick in YOUR closet..."

"Yikes! You aren't kidding! Sex with a minor during an exam?" That was VERY scary! Robert blanched.

"Well, I was thinking after, Baby. After all, we want you practicing medicine, not thrown under the jail!" Louise corrected him. "We wouldn't video the exam, and we wouldn't want to even allude to the fact that it happened. But it's still statutory rape, at a minimum, and pedophilia to some..." Louise watched her prey closely; he was about to bolt! Quickly, she flicked her eyes at Beth, her expression intent.

Beth got it. She very deliberately stepped in close, pinning Robert's upper arm in her cleavage while taking his hand in hers. "All of us have basically the same thing... You should see what they have on ME! Movies of older women having sex with teenage boys are just as bad as the opposite, believe me..."

"Maybe, but I'm a..." Robert began.

"And we're nurses, Baby, and naughty or not, they'd nail us to the cross, too..." Louise pointed out.

"Yeah..." Robert settled down. Or, more correctly, his arm told his dick to tell his brain to butt out...

"You COULD just do the minimums -- that would mean that Beth and I don't have to share -- but you ALREADY know too much..." Louise pointed out. "We're... exposed."

Robert nodded. "So now you HAVE to have something, right?"

"Uh huh."

"So I might as well..."

"Uh huh."

Robert puffed out a breath. "Where is this stuff archived?"

"Only one person knows," Beth replied. "And he's a genius at such things. I know he isn't keeping them anywhere that they can be found..."

"It's just protection, Baby, I promise. We just need to be covered," Louise insisted.

"I get it." Robert wasn't happy, but the cost/benefit analysis said that he stood to gain quite a lot -- IF they weren't lying about blackmailing him! "How do I protect myself from the group?"

"You don't, Baby. If you could, then it would be a Mexican standoff."

"And that isn't good enough?"

Louise thought about it. "Can we have a minute, Baby?" She waved Beth around the counter and they went back into a corner. "What do you think?"

"Well we obviously can't give him the goods on EVERYBODY..." Beth mused. "But I can see why he's scared."

"One of us, maybe?" Louise suggested. "The others would still be shielded."

"It's scary, but it would demonstrate our good faith," Beth sighed.

"Okay." Louise led them back to the station counter. "Tell you what -- you can have a video of one of us. We shouldn't, but, we understand how scary it all is."

"Which one?" Robert asked.

"Take your pick."

"Tolliver."

"Oh, Dear," Beth exclaimed. "I'm not sure what they have on video..."

"Well, you could make a new one..." Louise mused. "Would that be okay, Doc?"

"Yeah, that would be fine," Robert agreed. Watching Nurse Tolliver fuck some kid would be WELL worth the price of admission...

"Okay, Baby. I have to make some phone calls. Can you be ready right after shift? I'd like to get the one that's most urgent done by five..." Louise murmured.

"Yeah, no problem. I'll go down to OB-GYN and pick up a few things for my kit." Robert walked away from the nurses station in a haze. 'Now let me get this straight -- I'm going to give a couple of gyno exams to teenage girls -- and then I'm going to fuck one, on video. And THEN I'm going to watch while Nurse Tolliver fucks a boy, ALSO on video... Man... I have to be dreaming...'

Louise called Adele and asked her if it would be cheaper for her if she didn't have to pay for a doctor visit for herself and Alyssa. "Well, yeah..." Adele admitted. "I have an ungodly co-pay. I'm on part-time, and my insurance sucks. The laundry doesn't give me a damned thing, either -- this is from the bakery."

"So if I got you in with a doctor and he examined you and prescribed for free, that would be a good thing?" Louise asked.

"Very," Adele agreed. "I could cancel the appointment with the doctor I have... When? I'm running risks..."

"Tonight? When you get home?"

"Where, for God's sake?"

"Your house."

"This guy makes house calls? For free? Is this the guy you were talking about this morning?"

"Well, not for free," Louise explained. "Yeah, it's him. We're going to induct him as a group member. I'm going to want Alyssa to fuck him, so we get him on video."

Adele bit her lip. "Well, okay. I'm sure you're going to discuss this with Damian..."

"No, I'm not," Louise replied. "The boys have been a little too full of themselves lately. I'm going to shrink their heads a bit, if I can."

"Alyssa won't like it if Damian holds this against her," Adele warned. "What about Sonya?"

"We'll hold her for backup, if you and Candace succeed with Ms. Ho," Louise promised.

"Okay. Say, maybe we ought to get him to look at Brie..." Adele mused.

"That might scare him off, but we can hold her for last," Louise agreed. "Oh, and I need Randy."

"Why?"

"We promised the good doctor a video of Beth fucking him."

"Ooooookay. I'll tell him not to do anything that will cause him to run out of semen..." Adele chuckled and hung up and called Alyssa.

"Mama?"

"Hi, Sissy. Look, don't go anywhere -- we're seeing the doctor tonight instead of tomorrow. Tell your little sister and your brother to stay put, too. She's going to get seen, and... Is Randy there? I need to talk to him."

"Okay. RAAAANDY!" Alyssa yelled, covering the mouthpiece of the phone.

"Yeah?" Randy wandered in out of the kitchen.

"Mama." Alyssa shoved the phone at him.

"Mama?"

"Yeah, it's me. Look, don't run off anywhere today, and keep your dick in your pants -- Beth needs it tonight."

Nonplussed at the unusual directive, Randy grunted, "Oh, okay."

"Beth and Louise are bringing a doctor to the house to examine us and put us all on birth control -- and then he'll fuck Alyssa on video so we can be covered against him talking about the group. Don't tell her -- I don't want her all worked up about that. After that, I guess, Beth will do you -- I'm not that clear on why. Got all that?"

"Yeah, I got it." 'Weird as it is...'

"Keep everybody home and save your juice -- you never know how much you'll need," Adele admonished her son. "I have another errand, so I may be late -- if that happens, go ahead and run things -- make sure your sisters get examined and try to hold them for me."

"Okay, Mama, whatever..."

"Bye."

Alyssa eyed Randy. "What's the big secret?"

"Nothing. I guess there is a woman coming over who wants a piece of me..." Randy looked smug and walked off.

Alyssa shook her head. "This place is Sex Central..." She went off to brief Brie.

Louise's next call was to Sonya, who was happy to hear from her. "We'll be over right after work -- probably before four. Give me your address..." Sonya did so, along with a set of VERY careful directions -- she did NOT want to end up pregnant because they couldn't find her! "Okay, now, tell us where your mother works -- we're going to try to deal with her, too." Sonya gave her the info -- as expected, it was an Asian place on the north side. Jiang Yi worked in the kitchen; such was her shame that even away from Chinatown, she couldn't work in a customer-facing job, or the restaurant would lose its Chinese customers. "Okay, Baby, we'll see you in a few hours. I'm sending some ladies to see your mother -- wish us luck!" Sonya did so, fervently.

Louise then briefed Candace, passing the addresses and other information. "Now, you know that Adele is going with me, right?" Candace reminded her.

"Yeah. We should be able to keep Dear Doctor busy for a while. If things are going well, maybe you can send her home early," Louise replied. "Oh, and I'll need the camera, of course..."

"This is getting hairy," Candace complained. "I hope we don't wash each other out! Maybe we should wait on Ms. Ho..."

"It'll be all right -- we just have to multi-task some. Stay in touch!" Louise hung up.

At three, just before Candace arrived to collect Adele at the Hayes home, Louise and Beth collected a somewhat nervous Dr. Rankin, bundling him into Beth's car. "You're not on for another double tonight, are you?" Louise asked.

"No..."

"Good. You'll get a chance to wind down after, then."

Robert began wondering for the umpteenth time whether he'd made the right decision; while the description of the activities on tap for the evening beat anything that he expected to happen in his small apartment by a wide margin, things seemed to be quickly moving out of his hands.

Despite the fact that she had never actually met any of the trio that arrived at her house that afternoon, Sonya was almost tearfully happy to see them. "This gentleman is a doctor, Baby," the black lady in the nurse's uniform told her. "He's going to give you an examination, and then prescribe birth control for you, okay?"

"Okay!"

Robert eyed the girl, an odd mix of Oriental and black genes. She was obviously distressed, so he fished in his bag and dragged out some papers. "Since I've never seen you before, I'm going to need some of your health history," he announced, handing her a form. "Why don't you run through this with the nurse while we prepare for the exam?" Louise looked at him oddly, so he explained, "She needs to settle down a bit before the exam, or I'm going to end up believing she has hypertension..." He glanced around. "Sonya, we're going to need to do a pelvic exam -- do you know what that is?"

"Um, yeah. Me on my back with my legs open while you look up..." Sonya stopped, embarrassed.

"Exactly." Robert gave his best bedside smile. "Normally, we use a specially built table with footrests, but we're going to have to improvise. Do you have any suggestions? Beds aren't really good places..." He glanced around the living room. "We need good light, too."

"The kitchen?" Sonya suggested. "The table isn't super-duper, but it will take me..."

Robert turned to Beth. "If you would take a look? If it appears to be okay, we need to sanitize it a bit." Beth nodded, went into the kitchen, and checked the table. It would do. Waving wordlessly at the door, she beckoned Dr. Rankin to the kitchen. Meanwhile, Louise helped Sonya with the history form.

Ten minutes later, all was ready -- except Sonya. Louise led her into the kitchen where Robert stumbled upon a lack. "We didn't bring any johnnies or anything -- do you want a drape?"

Sonya bit her lip. "You have to see everything anyway -- I'll be okay."

"Good girl! Let me see your form, then, while you undress..." Robert turned away.

While Sonya peeled off her various items of clothing, he asked her questions about her health history. Beth helped Sonya onto the table, then took her temperature and blood pressure, adding it to her informal chart, then announced, "We're ready, Doctor."

Robert turned around and examined Sonya thoroughly, maintaining his professional persona. Pulling on gloves, he palpated her trunk and internal organs and examined her eyes, ears, nose and throat as he normally would, then checked her breasts. "Okay, lie back and we'll move on to the pelvic exam." Beth helped Sonya lie back and she and Louise positioned the girl's feet on the table edge while Robert prepared a speculum. "So, Sonya, You've had intercourse recently?"

"Saturday."

"And was this your first time?"

"Yes, Doctor."

Robert inserted, rotated, and opened the speculum, then examined Sonya's vagina and cervix. "All appears to be well..." He withdrew the speculum. "I can see that your hymen took a beating recently, but that's to be expected."

"Am I pregnant?" Sonya asked anxiously.

"Well, it would be several days before we could tell that," Robert replied, "but I'm going to give you a pill that will ensure that you don't remain that way, even if you are, okay?"

"Yes! Great!"

"I'm glad that you're properly concerned about such things," Robert declared somewhat unctuously, "so we can move on to contraception. We can try a patch that you wear over an ovary..."

"Mom would find it and hit the roof!" Sonya exclaimed.

"Or pills..."

"Same thing, in the long run," Sonya replied.

"Or I can order an injection that lasts three months," Robert finished.

"I'll take it!"

Robert grimaced. "Of course, there are issues with obtaining and paying for them... Do you have a health insurance card or anything?"

Sonya was taken aback, but Louise came to the rescue. "I took the liberty of discussing this with the pharmacy in the ER, Doctor. They dispensed to me on the understanding that you would provide the prescription. The group will cover the costs."

"Very well, Nurse. How well did you second-guess me?" He rattled off the names of the morning -after pill and the contraceptive injection. Louise smiled and produced both, so Robert sat down and wrote out the prescriptions. "I'm not going to ask what kind of sleight-of-hand you're going to use here, Nurse..."

"The same one the free clinic does, Doctor," Louise smiled back. "I have friends there, too."

"Very well. Sonya, you may sit up. Nurse, could you get her some water?" He delivered the pill; Sonya took it so fast that he was afraid she might choke on it. "Okay, if you'll hop down and bend over, we can do the injection." Beth helped Sonya down from the table and Louise presented the syringe and the medication, then wiped a patch on Sonya's ass cheek with a prep pad. It was over before Sonya was even prepared for it. "There you go! You can dress, now." Robert smiled at his new teenage patient.

While Sonya dressed, the medical team cleaned up after themselves. "Now, if you have any issues that you think might be related to the shot, let someone know -- preferably one of the nurses. The pill may upset your stomach and cause cramping for twenty-four hours or so, and may throw off your menstrual cycle. Again, if there appears to be a problem, get in touch with the nurses. I'll be seeing you in three months for your next injection, unless our paths cross sooner. Any questions?" Robert asked.

"No, Doctor."

"Good. It's been a pleasure." Robert swept out of the room.

Once he was gone, Sonya grabbed Beth by the wrist. Louise stopped, too. "How do I reach you?"

"You call Alyssa or Randy or Randy's mother, Sweetie -- they'll pass the word. Okay?" Beth replied.

"Okay." Sonya looked troubled for a moment. "Who's paying for this?"

"This time?" Louise smiled. "We are, Baby. Next time, though, you can."

"How? I don't have any money..."

"The same way we're gonna do it, Baby," Louise grinned. "You can fuck the doctor."

"Oh!" Sonya watched, wide-eyed, as the trio let themselves out.

"That went well," Robert observed, getting into the car.

"With any luck," Beth chuckled, "that was the hard one!" The trio drove off.

Meanwhile, Martin Garber paced his living room. "I don't know how I let myself get talked into this!" he complained.

"I do, Dad," Hank chuckled. "Relax! How bad can it be?"

"Fucking a woman I've never met while wearing a mask like the Lone Ranger? I really don't know..." Martin muttered. "Have you seen this woman?"

"No, but Sonya is hot!"

"Yeah, okay. I'll be in my study."

Jiang Yi might not be able to face customers, but there was no question who was in charge of the kitchen at Dong's Palace. The place did Thai and Vietnamese as well as Chinese; no one seemed to care about her exact heritage, as long as she wasn't Korean or Japanese. Jiang Yi was haranguing a couple of busboys in a singsong voice when called to the kitchen door by the owner. "These ladies asked to see you, by name," he said. Candace smiled a dismissal and he wandered off.

"I don't know you," Jiang Yi declared, peering up at them suspiciously.

"We've never met," Adele replied, "but I've seen you around."

"I have, too," Candace added. "At Rambo's, for instance."

"Okay," Jiang Yi eyed them. "So what do you want?"

"Can we go somewhere a bit more private?" Candace suggested.

Jiang Yi looked at her watch. "I'm not off quite yet. Out back?"

"Fine."

Jiang Yi stuck her head back into the kitchen, "You two get that dishwasher loaded! I'll be right back!" She led them down a back hallway. "Idiots! They move like slugs! Men!" She led them through a door and out into the alley; no one else was around. Turning, she demanded, "Okay, now what?"

"Men irritate you, don't they, Hon?" Candace began. "From what I've seen it's a supply and demand thing."

"Meaning what?" Jiang Yi snapped, adding, "Hon?"

"Meaning very few of them would step up to supply YOUR demand," Candace said easily.

"That's your business?" Jiang Yi snapped.

"We can fix it."

"How?" Jiang Yi waved at herself. "Makeovers? If you two are beauty reps, forget it!"

"Do I look like a beauty rep?" Adele asked. "This is different."

"Different, how?"

"We represent a group of men and women who have some common interests. One of your daughter's friends indicated to us that you might benefit from membership," Adele explained.

"Oh? What common interests? What's in it for me?" Jiang Yi asked flatly.

"Sex, Honey. That's the common bond. And that's what's in it for you," Candace took over.

"Men don't have sex with me."

"I can produce two who will," Candace replied, levelly, "today."

"Old men?"

"One of them is just a bit older than your daughter."

"You lie!" Jiang Yi crossed her arms over her chest. "Prove it!"

"When do you get off?" Candace asked.

Jiang Yi glanced at her watch. "Thirty minutes."

"How about this?" Candace asked. "If you haven't had two different dicks in you by eight o'clock, I'll pay you two hundred dollars."

Jiang Yi eyed her tall blonde opponent, rocked. "What do I have to do? What is this going to cost me?"

"Time. We'll want you to become a member of our group. There's an initiation, of sorts -- but it's fucking, so that shouldn't be any big deal. After that, if you want to fuck, you don't have to go out and parade yourself around or play games, you just make a couple of phone calls and you'll get a dick to play with. No strings," Candace replied.

"Probably dirty old men in wheelchairs," Jiang Yi disparaged. She spun on Adele. "How many have YOU had?"

"Ummm, three? They were ALL good..." Adele replied.

Jiang Yi didn't believe a word, but it was the damnedest thing she'd ever heard... "One of my daughter's friends?"

"My daughter knows yours," Adele replied. "I've met Sonya."

'I HAVE to see this -- if I end up dead in an alley!' "Thirty minutes," she grunted. "Let's go inside. Have the waiter bring you soup while you wait." She led them through the back of the restaurant to the kitchen and entered without looking back.

Candace got on the phone. "Hank? We're on. Look, talk to your dad -- it's not going to be any picnic at the start. Ms. Ho is short, stocky, and angry at men in general. She's... not incredibly good-looking, either, but I need you guys not to show that you're bothered by it, you know? She'll be looking for an excuse to hit the street..."

"Great!" Hank rolled his eyes. "Let me get Dad..."

Hank got Martin and Candace made explanations to him, including, "I had to bet her two hundred dollars that you two would do her. I'd like to keep that money."

"You're not making her sound any too appetizing..." Martin opined.

"She's short, wide, blocky, flat-faced -- and she hasn't had a dick in a long time and is angry about it. But she isn't Quasimodo or anything. Just a chunky Chinese chick," Candace explained.

"Reminds me of 'Nam," Martin grunted. "Drag her over. We'll handle it."