| Q: | Where can I find the stories you review? |
| A: |
With each review you'll find a link to the story in the ASSM archive.
Better yet, learn how to use your ISP's newsgroup feature to read
alt.sex.stories.moderated yourself.
|
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| Q: | How do you choose stories to review? |
| A: |
I scan the subject lines in alt.sex.stories.moderated. If it looks
like something I might enjoy, I read the story. If the story was
posted by someone other than the author, or if the story is a
repost, I will usually skip it.
|
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| Q: | What do the stars mean? |
| A: |
Most stories I review are quite good, so the rating system is
skewed to differentiate between good stories. In my opinion,
any story rated three stars or higher is worth reading. A one-star
story is pure dreck. A two-star story may have some niche appeal. Five
stars are reserved for the very best stories.
|
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| Q: | Will you review the first chapter of my novel or serial? |
| A: |
No. It doesn't make much sense to review a partial story.
|
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| Q: | Will you monitor the newsgroup every day for several months collecting every piece to my serial and then read it all when I finally get around to posting the final part? |
| A: |
No. Especially if I try to do it for multiple stories, I don't have the
patience or organizational skill to gather up several pieces of several
stories over a long period of time.
|
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| Q: | If I post my novel all at once, will you review it? |
| A: |
No. Given the choice between reviewing one novel and twenty short stories,
I will choose to review twenty short stories.
|
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| Q: | But doesn't that mean you won't review any long stories at all? |
| A: |
Yes. I may occasionally read a long story if it is posted in just a few
pieces on one day, but if it's much longer than 20,000 words, I probably
won't.
|
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| Q: | What about a series? |
| A: |
I will review individual stories of a series, but it is unlikely that
I will read every issue of the series. I will try to review them as
if they were stand-alone stories, although I'll admit that it won't
be easy to do so, and I may not be completely successful.
|
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| Q: | What kind of stories might you enjoy? |
| A: |
I prefer consensual stories, and I dislike humiliation and pedophilia.
Science fiction, celebrity stories, mind control, incest - there are
many genres that I think are boring or ridiculous. While no-sex stories
may be an interesting change of pace, I have a strong preference for
sexual content.
|
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| Q: | If I email you my stories, will you review them? |
| A: |
No. I review stories I find in alt.sex.stories.moderated. I will not
review or read unsolicited manuscripts. Any story sent to me in email
will be deleted unread.
|
| |
| Q: | I sent you email but you never wrote back. |
| A: |
I appreciate hearing from you, but my time for the Tainted Lime
Reviews is limited. I'd rather spend my time reading stories and
writing reviews than discussing the mechanics of the review
process. I'm sorry for the lack of response, but I'm sure you
understand.
|
| |
| Q: | Will you send me email when you review one of my stories? |
| A: |
I have a system in place for reviewing stories, and emailing authors
doesn't fit into it. If I ever get time to find a way to do this easily,
then I will do this later. Thanks for the suggestion.
|
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| Q: | Do you have a website? |
| A: |
You're looking at it.
http://www.asstr.org/~TaintedLime/
|
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| Q: | Can I quote your review on my web site? |
| A: |
Yes, as long as you include the following note: This review is taken
from The Tainted Lime Reviews Issue #XXX, by TaintedLime@aol.com
(http://www.asstr.org/~TaintedLime/).
|
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| Q: | You reviewed one of my stories, but you didn't get it. |
| A: |
I think I'm a careful reader, more careful than most. If I didn't
get it, you should consider the possibility that it wasn't written
clearly.
|
| |
| Q: | What are your credentials for reviewing stories? |
| A: |
Other than the time and desire to do so, I have very few qualifications
for this job. Years ago I wrote a few stories for ASS under a different
nym. One story was even well-received. I have also editted hundreds of
stories for other authors. But mostly I do this because I think regular
reviews can enliven what I perceive to be a newsgroup that is suffering
from slow decay.
|
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| Q: | I found a grammar mistake in one of your reviews. |
| A: |
I make frequently mistakes. I self-edit, and I often skip the spell-checker.
I only hope that ASSM authors do as I say, not as I do.
|
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| Q: | I don't want you to review my stories.
|
| A: |
If I read it, I will review it. If you're not willing to have your stories
commented on, then perhaps you are not ready to post them publicly.
|
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| Q: | How dare you review stories! I refuse to post my stories to ASSM as long as you're reviewing stories. |
| A: |
I humbly request that you reconsider your stance. I believe that regular
reviews are a valuable service to readers and authors alike, and withholding
stories from the reading public helps no one.
|
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| Q: | You didn't like my story just because you don't like the genre. Why do you review stories in genres you don't like? |
| A: |
I don't purposely read stories in genres I don't like, but if I am fooled
into reading something I don't enjoy, I will review it, and since I didn't
enjoy it, I won't review it positively.
|
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| Q: | Why did you give away the surprise ending of this story? |
| A: |
I do provide a story synopsis as part of the review, and there is always
a decision to make: at what point do I let the reader discover the rest
of the story for himself? As of today, I don't think I've given away a
surprise ending of any story. I won't go out of my way to hide something
implied in the story codes or that is strongly implied early in the story.
For example, if a story is titled "Ghost Story," the synopsis will almost
certainly mention the ghost.
|
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| Q: | Where can I go to see more discussion of stories? |
| A: |
Some story discussion takes place in
alt.sex.stories.d (the "d" stands
for "discussion"), although there is more off-topic conversation and
on-topic flaming than anything else. But as far as unmoderated Usenet
newsgroups go, it's a nice place.
|
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| Q: | Do you read alt.sex.stories.d? |
| A: |
I scan ASSD regularly, but I don't follow it closely.
|
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| Q: | You said my story was shot full of grammar mistakes. How do I fix them? |
| A: |
Read and memorize Strunk & White's Elements of Style, and find
someone to proofread for you.
|
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| Q: | Where can I find a proofreader? |
| A: |
A list of people who will proofread erotic stories is kept on
http://www.asstr.org/proofreaders.html. You might also ask for
volunteers in alt.sex.stories.d.
|
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| Q: | Will you organize those holiday story competitions like Celeste used to do? |
| A: |
I feel uncomfortable doing this while the reviews are still so young.
If these reviews eventually gain a good reputation among readers, I would
like to organize a competition or two. We'll have to see how it goes.
|
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| Q: | How come there is so much dreck in ASSM? |
| A: |
A lot of good stories get posted here, but most authors leave when
they don't get feedback from readers. If you want to continue to
read the kind of stories you like, after you read a story, send a
simple "thank you" to the author. It's rare for an author to get
more than two or three notes from readers, so even a single note
makes a big difference.
|
| |
| Q: | I want to set up my own reviews. Let's get
together and coordinate our efforts. |
| A: |
I strongly encourage others to review stories in ASSM. While I am
interested in hearing your ideas for coordinating our efforts, I think
it would be better if we kept our distance. Drop me a line. We'll talk.
|
| |
| Q: | Who are you really? |
| A: |
I'm not anybody. While I posted using a different nym a few years ago,
I haven't posted using that nym for a long time.
|
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| Q: | What do all the weird story codes mean? |
| A: |
Uther Pendragon maintains the story code FAQ for readers. It is posted
regularly to ASSM and can be found on his website at
http://www.asstr.org/~Uther_Pendragon/code/scfr.htm.
|