Duel #18

Duellists:

• Father Ignatius (South Africa)
• Jimmy Hat (US)

Referee:

• DrSpin (Australia)

Date:

• Saturday, 30 September 2000

Challenge Words:

Note: Father Ignatius word #3 is not "Klingon", it is "clingon". To prevent pointless waste of authors' duelling time researching the question "What is a clingon?", below appears all the information I have, garnered from http://www.adulttoychest.com/store/ProdMVC-
725x.hmx?UID=23984%2D970138630%
2D7419&CID=&RID

"The CLINGON can help to keep and regain a woman's sensitivity to orgasm with a man during intercourse. The Clingon gives vaginal & G-spot stimulation, clitoral stimulation, and anal stimulation without unnatural vibration. The CLINGON can be manually manipulated, but it is designed to use the rectal and vaginal muscles to move it hands free. The CLINGON can also be manipulated with hip movement. All of the Pyrex products are easy to heat before insertion. Just place in warm water for several minutes before use.

Our select group of ARTISTS create Clingons ONE AT A TIME. Our GLASS BLOWERS USE A 2,500 DEGREE TORCH TO MELT AND SHAPE EACH Clingon BY HAND.

Each Clingon is carefully inspected, twice before completion. First for proper shape, dimensions, and perfect smoothness, then after the Clingon has been annealed in a Special Oven for Strength it is inspected under a POLARISCOPE to insure MAXIMUM STRENGTH for your safety.

WITH PROPER CARE THESE PRODUCTS CAN LAST FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS

All Clingons come in a beautiful PADDED BLACK DRAWSTRING BAG for safe storage."

Original versions:

• alt.sex.stories.moderated archive

Web-site versions:

• "The Trouble With Penises" by Father Ignatius
  - duel version
  - revised version
  
  
• "The Noise in Apartment Six" by Jimmy Hat

DrSpin's rules: None

Referee’s decision:

Referee's Opinion :

Father Ignatius - "The Trouble With Penises" :

The trouble with creating an elaborate set-up for a short story in this genre is that the Write Club three-hour time limit is unforgiving. Nat has a great concept but it takes much of his allotted time to put it into the story. Terrific start, excellent middle, tailed-off end - which is a common Write Club experience, as far as I can see.

Nit-picking done with, it's another very funny Nat story that will improve hugely with an edit and revision. Nat has decided to treat his WC stories as first drafts to be revised and reposted as more complete stories, and I think that is wise, and worthy of consideration for all.

Jimmy Hat - "The Noise in Apartment Six" :

Terrific start, excellent middle, and - bad luck, Nat - a fine finish as well. Smooth and easy use of all nine keywords, and maybe better use of Nat's killer 'clingon' than Nat himself.

Loved this story. Very funny, too. Worthy reading for all.

Referee's Decision :

Jimmy wins.

Both authors should send their stories to the manufacturer of the clingon. They will both assuredly engender increased sales.

DrSpin