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Part
One
1.
He'd
followed Grady's old blue Dodge van from the bar to this rural gravel
road and felt like a complete idiot. It must have been obvious to
Grady on this twisty road that he was being followed. More than
obvious when they both pulled into an open area near a well-lit
electrical transformer station.
He'd
come home early from work and Clara wasn't there. It was Saturday
and he thought she might be at the bar where Grady's band, The Blue
Boys, regularly played. Silly name for a band but Clara loved them
and attended their concerts whenever she could. He didn't see her
at the bar but it was loud and crowded and he could easily have
missed her.
Grady
stood outside his van smoking a cigarette. He waited in his car
and another car parked between them. He realized he'd done a very
stupid thing.
There
was a knock on his car window and he powered it down.
"What
are you doing here?" Clara asked.
"I
took off early tonight."
"You
shouldn't be here, but seeing as you are, help me with the beer."
Clara
stood aside when he opened the car door. She was wearing cute red
cowboy boots with white tassels. A miniskirt, red with white fringe,
hugged her hips and a bandeau top, white, looked adorable along
with the white cowboy hat. The skirt and top together were maybe
nine inches wide, plus the fringe of course. If there'd been no
fringe she would have been nearly naked. As it was she looked devastatingly
and ripely beautiful.
She
opened the trunk to her car and he grabbed two cases of beer --
Michelob which seemed out of place here.
"You've
never met Grady formally."
He'd
seen him play and if one liked country music, no doubt he played
well. Grady was just about the ugliest man he'd ever seen and as
they approached he looked uglier.
Tall,
lanky, pasty white skin, receding chin, a mouth over full of crooked
buck teeth, nose that twisted to the right and beetle eyes beneath
heavy, boney brows. His hair was thin and receding.
Grady
ground out his cigarette underfoot as they approached.
"Grady,
this is Leo," Clara said.
Grady
said, "The beer goes in back, Leo."
Clara
opened the van door. He'd expected to see musical equipment but
instead there was just junk: open cardboard boxes, rags, lumber
and a rolled up foam pad. She pushed a bit of the clutter aside
and he set the beer down.
"You'd
better go now," she said. "I'll be home in a little bit."
Grady
stood next to her, put a hand on her shoulder as he reached in the
van for a beer. He twisted the lid off the bottle and drank heartily,
watching him. Grady stank from the sweat of tonight's performance.
"Some little gal you have here, Leo." He lightly cuffed
her chin.
"You'd
better go," she said, then jumped as Grady did something to
her back.
Her
nipples were outlined in the bandeau's fabric and he could smell
her arousal. She slapped behind her and giggled, raised her eyes
to him. "Go. I'll be home soon."
2.
He
had a well-known restaurant downtown and she would come after the
lunch crowd had thinned, in the early afternoon when he was taking
a break -- as much a break as any restaurateur takes. The first
time they talked he was going through the receipts and getting ready
to prepare the week's order for paper goods while the staff cleaned
up.
The
restaurant and bar stay open from lunch through dinner and later
for people to stop by after a show or movie for dessert or a drink.
The kitchen closes at ten-thirty, the bar at midnight.
She
was pretty enough but he'd never seen her leave with a bar patron.
They sat and talked and became casual friends until the day she
came in with a shiner, face blotchy from weeping. She said her boyfriend
hit her and she didn't want to go back but had nowhere else to go.
He gave her the key to his apartment and about six weeks later they
were married. Clara was twenty-three and beautiful, with breasts
that looked large on her trim frame. True blonde with blue eyes,
her only cosmetic was lipstick, her cheeks never needed blush. He
was forty-two, average looking for his age; this was his second
marriage after nearly twenty years, a few steady girlfriends in
the interval but nothing serious. It took a special woman who was
willing to put up with his demanding schedule and lifestyle.
Clara
stayed at home; when he arrived, usually after one or two in the
morning, she had everything ready for them. Music, soft lights,
wine or coffee, checking by calling earlier, and a light snack.
She'd napped and her time with him was devoted to filling any wish
or need. Quiet, if it'd been a hectic night, and a massage, or the
best sex he'd ever had, when and how he wanted it. All given with
a ready smile that he felt was just for him.
On
their honeymoon she asked him what he wanted, anything, and she'd
do it for him. Stay with me, he told her. Stay with me forever.
Just that? she said. I'll do anything for you. Just that, he said.
Then I'll stay with you as long as you want me. Forever, he said.
He'd
never asked her about her past, didn't need to know her secrets.
He thought that door was shut as he made her into the woman he loved.
She told him a little about her boyfriends, her schooling (a year
of college) and family (both parents dead, an older sister she'd
not seen for years). She wasn't intimidated by the restaurant or
the life he led -- host, businessman, successful and well-to-do
with a clientele that had certain expectations.
Two
years later they had the night off and went to a bar where a band
she'd heard about was playing. The bar was déclassé,
the music country/western -- a far cry from the symphony concerts
to which he'd taken her. Clara was animated this night like he'd
almost never seen her, at least not in public. Flushed, talkative,
distracted, and drinking more than usual.
After
the set she said she wanted to tell the band how much she liked
them.
Clara
is cute and terribly sincere and the way she walked to the impromptu
stage -- determined with a slight sway -- made him smile. Grady,
the leader of The Blue Boys, was who she approached. He bent to
hear her over the house music, hand on her shoulder. He said something
to her and she came back with a huge smile on her face.
"I'm
going to get them some beer and he said I could meet the band."
She
had enough money of her own, he checked, and he watched her go to
the bar, leave the bar with both hands full of beers, and follow
Grady though a door to the back.
In
his bar and restaurant they only carried imported beer. That's what
his diners expect. Some of the domestic microbreweries showed promise
but there was nothing decent locally and the last thing he wanted
to do was confuse patrons with an overlong drink menu filled with
names they'd never heard of.
He
somehow thought she'd be gone for just a few minutes but it was
for almost an hour. The place became even more crowded and in an
inattentive moment he lost her seat.
When
she came back the band was playing and she had to hunt for him,
as if she'd forgotten where they'd been sitting. Her face was flushed
more than before, not just her cheeks. She took his hand and said,
"Let's go."
Outside
she said she was okay; she just wanted to go home and to bed early
if that'd be okay. She assured him she was okay.
The
word okay is one of the grievous sins Americans have inflicted on
the English language. Clara knew how he felt and he was surprised
by the onslaught.
3.
He
was unsure what at first made him suspicious and what made him direct
his suspicions to Grady and his band. He knew she liked them and
he knew she often went to hear them while he was at work. Other
than that, she always answered when he called her at home, was attentive
and considerate to his needs -- social and private.
Little
things showed a change. Voices in the background when he called
her at home. A plate used as an ashtray and left in the guest bedroom's
bathroom by the sink. He was surprised he even noticed it since
he never went there. A reluctance on her part to have certain kinds
of sex along with a fresh eagerness to explore other kinds they'd
never attempted before or weren't exactly of interest to him. A
subtle change in her demeanor -- distracted with an abrupt and uncalled
for enthusiasm. Added to this was the sense that there'd been a
change in her daily pattern: old friends dropped, meaningful silences
on the answering machine.
What
made him follow Grady from the bar where he was playing wasn't impulsive.
It was caused by the cover of the band's new CD that Clara kept
in her car. A photograph of the five band members -- a shaggy looking
lot -- with their hands covering the naughty bits of the naked model
in their midst. The model was, of course, Clara.
4.
After
he left the van where Clara and Grady stood, Clara shouted, "Leo,"
and ran up to him. Her hands on his arm, her body against his, she
said, "When I get home tonight, I want you to tell me what
you want me to do. I'll do anything for you. Anything. Because I
love you so much." She released his arm and ran back to Grady,
the fringe on her tiny skirt slapping her butt affectionately with
each step. She wore no underwear.
When
he backed to turn the headlights swung across them. She was on her
knees, her top pushed down to her waist, skirt entirely off her,
her head moving quickly with his hand in her hair. They didn't even
pause to look at him.
Driving
away from the van, Grady and Clara, his fingers tight on the wheel,
down the gravel lane, breathing nosily through his mouth, he had
to pull to the side of the narrow road repeatedly as car after car
and several trucks passed him. Car after car filled with men, at
least it seemed that way but when he got home, after a stiff drink
and he had regained some of his composure, he realized there hadn't
been that many -- vehicles or men. He could always believe they
were lost or it was just a beer party. Clara's trunk held more than
the two cases he'd carried.
He
was pretty sure they'd had her that time at the bar when she and
he first went to see them months and months ago. He was pretty sure
they'd had her many times since -- here at home or when she went
to hear them play. They could be just Grady, him and his four bandmates
or them and a slew of others. He'd had a glimpse tonight of at least
one of the ways they'd had her and he already knew by experience
that when she eventually came home tonight they could successfully
pretend nothing had happened because it wouldn't be grossly obvious
that anything had. His loss of ignorance was his own damn fault.
If
she hadn't dressed to look unbearably cute for them he could possibly
have attempted to forget the whole matter. She'd looked so cute
and so desirable in an utterly unconventional way, whereas he'd
always stressed the conventional and proper. The last thing he'd
wanted was someone who looked like they stepped out of a sleazy
men's magazine. Who was he fooling?
Whenever
he saw her now he'd see her naked, her soft flesh ready to be eagerly
offered up to the hands and lusts of others. In his mind's eye he
saw her unrolling the foam mat and them taking turns on, over and
in her. He could see her on her knees, her head bobbing as Grady
finished his beer. He could see her, when they were done with her,
putting her clothes back on and driving back home to him. And he
could see her come in dancing on her toes, eyes bright, hoping for
a kiss.
She'd
come home, ask him what he wanted and he was at an utter loss for
what to tell her. He wondered if she'd asked Grady months ago what
he wanted and if he hadn't told her exactly -- crudely and precisely
-- and she'd complied completely, would keep on complying because
the one thing he couldn't do, he shouldn't, was ask her was to stop.
Part
Two
1.
The
first time he felt that shooting tingle up his spine was when he
was 16 on the school bus home and was alone except for the farmgirl
sitting on the other side of the aisle a few seats forward. His
stop was 10 minutes ahead, hers was the last.
He
left his seat and sat next to her. "I want you to jerk me off."
He waited a moment while she reddened, looking straight ahead, and
went back to his seat.
She
slid next to him and he unzipped his pants. "Go ahead,"
he said.
She
pulled him out and started stroking. She never looked at him, jerked
steadily.
"That's
right," he said.
In
a week he was cumming in her mouth, on the bus, before the next
to the last stop on the way home.
This
time was just like that. That bright shot up his spine as she came
up to him.
"You
guys play really well," she said. "Anything I can get
you?"
Mid-twenties,
beautiful. He'd never seen her before. She looked like she had money:
new skirt and top and shiny cowgirl boots. She wasn't wearing a
bra.
So
he said it. "I want you to suck my cock. I want to hold you
as my bandmates take your ass, one by one, my dick in your mouth."
She
never lost her smile. "Some beers?"
"Yeah,"
he said. "Some beers. Nothing foreign. In bottles. Not the
watered down tap shit."
"Okay,"
she said.
"Beers
and a blowjob."
"I'll
get them." She turned and went to a table before going to the
bar. Nice ass. He figured he'd never see her again.
The
guys had already left. He picked up his guitar and laid it in its
case, looked to see if the setup was okay and she was back again,
clutching six beers by their necks.
"I
have them."
"Come
on back." She followed him to the room they used during breaks.
About the size of a bedroom, no windows, just one door. He pushed
it open. "Beers, fellas."
There
were five in The Blue Boys, counting him. Drew on the mandolin,
Greg on electric bass, Stu on fiddle, Brian on second guitar. They
looked up. After she was in the room he shut the door.
"I
bet you look just great without those clothes on. Go ahead, hand
out the beers." He flopped in an old stuffed chair, legs out.
"What's your name, honey?"
"Clara,"
she said, looking at him for a minute. "Okay." She handed
out the beers, keeping one for herself.
"Go
on, honey." He watched her as he took a drink. "Show us
what you have."
She
paused, looking at him, then smiled. "Okay."
"I
meant it earlier, Clara. You can leave if you want to." The
guys were watching him and her, not saying a word.
"I
said okay."
"My
name's Grady, honey." Then he introduced the guys. "Clara's
going to give me a blowjob."
She
smiled at him and set her beer down, not taking a drink. Her top
was one of those tubular things, came right off.
"Nice
tits," he said. "Brian's a tit man. Aren't those nice
tits, Brian?"
This
had never happened before and the guys just watched, open-mouthed.
She
took a drink and set her beer down. "I really like the way
you guys play." She unfastened the skirt and let it drop. She
took another drink, set her beer down and removed her undies. "Whatever
you guys want me to do, I'll do it."
"Blowjob
for me while they make up their minds, Clara." He winked at
Stu. The girl had a shaved cunt and you could see everything.
She
knelt by him and he said, "Don't spill any." He slid into
her warm throat without any problem, drinking his beer as her head
bobbed up and down.
He
came down her throat, holding her head with one hand as he finished
his beer. "Next," he said and that's how it started.
At
the end of their break she was on the floor, on her hands and knees,
cum dripping from her ass and snatch, head hanging, breathing more
slowly now, her undies still in her mouth because she had been getting
loud.
"Brian,
get our new fan one of our CDs." He looked down at her. The
girl could take it, but wasn't a whore; she was too much into it.
Brian
handed him a computer burned CD in a paper sleeve. He tossed it
on the floor by her. "There's a restroom down the hall where
you can wash up. That spade out there your boyfriend?"
She
shook her head, pulled out the gag. "Husband."
"Lucky
guy. We play here tomorrow. You coming out to see us?"
"I'd
like to."
"Guys,
we have a real fan. Clara, you come to the show tomorrow our manager
will want a piece, too."
"Okay."
She looked up to him.
"You
did fine, honey. Enjoy the CD. Hope you're here tomorrow."
They
left her, still on her hands and knees, her face splattered with
someone's cum.
2.
She
came nearly every night, was their plaything between sets and after.
She always bought beers, and always told them how much she liked
them.
She
was rich, driving a Mercedes, and dressed rich though as weeks passed
dressed more and more slutty, never wearing underwear so her holes
were always available.
They
didn't really pass her around. It was just that she was so willing.
If there was a party or something, everybody got a piece.
She
never said much about her life, or how her husband was feeling about
how almost every day she was now with the band and two, three, or
twenty others. Glenn, their manager wanted to put her on stage with
them but he'd told him no way.
She
modeled for the CD cover and the photography hadn't cost a dime.
They'd gotten special rates for recording sessions, all because
of her.
Things
were slipping though and he was starting to think it wasn't going
to last. The husband would come after them with a gun, or somebody'd
catch something, or she'd decide she'd had enough. A lot of dicks
had been in her and people talk and things were getting out of hand,
30 or 40 guys, friends of friends of friends, showing up at a party.
Part
of him wanted to slow things down, but another part of him, a part
he hadn't known was there, wanted to punish the bitch, make her
choke on cock, cover her with cum, shove a bottle up her ass bottom
first, and drop her off home for hubby to see. What he'd married.
Whatever they did she always came back, never said no. Just gave
that look for a second, as if she were deciding something, then
smiling and saying, "Okay. I can do that."
This
part of him wasn't entirely a surprise. But it wasn't a part of
who he thought himself to be: kind to dogs and kids, liked apple
pie and bluegrass, and enjoyed a cold beer. A normal guy.
Clara
now. With Clara he got to drink his beer, his cock down her throat,
play bluegrass and he and his buddies got drained day and night.
It
was amazing how much cock the bitch, Clara, sweetie pie, could take.
Her husband could shoot them all and it would have been worth it.
Back
when he was in high school, farmgirl drank his cum until the end
of the year. They never talked. She came over, sat next to him,
and he had it out all ready for her. She'd jerk him off, he'd let
her know and she'd drop her mouth onto him catching it all.
The
bus driver watched them, knew what was going on and he'd wondered
if she treated the driver at the last stop. She didn't ride the
bus the next year, had a boyfriend with a car and so it was over.
That
was going to happen with Clara, too. One day it'd be over.
Part Three
1.
She
was last to leave, as usual. She'd stop at a gas station and use
the restroom facilities to clean up as much as she could, not that
it mattered after earlier.
Images
still flashed from tonight, kind of like driving for a long time.
Afterwards, when you shut your eyes the road comes at you. For her
the images were of ankles, red faces, fat bellies, and dicks of
all sizes and shapes. Ankles were from her being on the pad. Turning
away from the one on her, what she usually saw were ankles, shoes,
socks, jeans, or bare feet. Mostly shoes tonight, it was outside.
She
poured a cup of coffee from the thermos, drank it down and poured
another. She wouldn't think of Leo just yet. She felt stoned, lethargic
and it was late, after four, and soon it would be dawn. She had
a half hour drive home.
One
of the boys had put her things in the car. She cleaned herself the
best she could with paper towels, put on the skirt and bandeau top.
Pulled on her boots.
She
finished her second cup of coffee and poured the last.
Okay.
She took a deep breath and let it out. Ready to go home.
She
shut the car door, turned the key, and started down the gravel lane.
2.
Steve,
her boyfriend before Leo, had just about killed her for no reason.
She'd said no, a silly thing to do because it didn't really matter,
but she didn't want to so he slugged her. She still said no and
a beating followed. When he was done with her afterward, getting
in the end what he'd wanted all along, he left her lying on the
floor and went to sleep in the bedroom.
Leo
took her in. Sweet, gentle man. He didn't look it. Tall and muscular,
Leo was her first black lover. They fit nicely, got along perfectly,
and when he asked she said yes. On their honeymoon she'd told him
she'd do anything he wanted and meant it.
So
there was this life with Leo, better than any her wildest dreams.
Six months ago she runs into Grady and he tells her what he wants
and she says sure and after tonight she doesn't know what Leo will
say.
Leo
knew, probably had known for weeks and that little show Grady and
she'd put on meant he really knew if there'd been any doubt.
If
he wanted to know why, she wasn't sure she could tell him. He satisfied
her completely where Grady and his buddies didn't. Not completely.
Not satisfied either.
It
was like they took her on a journey she needed to go on but maybe
the journey wasn't to where she needed to be going. The problem
was it was long past time for considering whether she should be
going there. She'd started and didn't know how to stop or if she
wanted to stop, though she wasn't sure she really liked it. If Leo
would keep her she wouldn't anymore. She'd promise and keep her
promise and . . .
No,
that wasn't true at all. Some part of her enjoyed being the center
of attention. Thrived on what they said about her and what they
did to her. How they didn't really care. She was a hole to them.
A willing hole. Their bucket.
In
the restroom's mirror, after washing, her face and chest were still
red. Wet hair hung in strands along her face. She didn't bruise
easily but bruises were already beginning to show. She was sore,
too.
Next
time they'd better be happy with blowjobs. That's all Grady ever
wanted anyway. One hand holding her head, the other his beer. He
didn't care. Once he got his he just sat back for a while, until
it was time for another beer. He didn't care what was happening,
what his friends were doing to her. His jeans would fall to the
ground, he never wore underwear, and he was in her throat.
Brian
liked to use beer bottles, Stu liked her ass, Glenn the manager
didn't care where he was as long it was in. If it was just the band
things moved quickly. She was passed off to the next one while they
talked about this or that.
Fifteen
minutes to home. She was tired. Every now and again someone would
get imaginative. Put a leash on her, make her the receptacle for
fresh garden produce, make her do things while they laughed, like
lick their boots, or give some kid his first blowjob.
She
knew she surprised Grady each time she came back. He wasn't usually
the instigator. He called her honey or sweetie pie, and once he
got his he sat back. But the band as a group made her put on shows.
Would play maniacally fast as she was taken again and again by their
friends, made to lick any spilled cum from the floor or carpet.
And
if Leo wanted her to explain she couldn't. There was no way to put
into words just why she'd consent to giving a long line of rednecks
blowjobs while squatting naked over a bottle.
No
way to explain the men's room parties. The times in Grady's old
van behind a bar. Or the times in their home when strangers used
her for hours. Men she'd never seen before, would never see again.
Grady
might hold both Leo and her in contempt because of the things she
let them do to her, but the color of Leo's skin was never mentioned,
nor his wealth.
She
lost her virginity when she was 15, had boyfriends, gone to college
for a year, had been around a little. Was proficient in the things
men liked not because of numbers but because of long term relationships
where there was give and take.
Sure
some of her lovers got excited and were rough sometimes, but nothing
out of the ordinary. No group sex. She'd never done it with a woman.
No parties or nights where the morning after she didn't know what
she'd done. No crazy sorority type things. It had been community
college and then Steve came along and she'd worked in the mall at
a cellphone store trying to explain the difference between what
they carried and Verizon and . . .
She
was home. She parked in the basement and took the elevator up, dreading
it.
Hopefully
Leo was asleep. She wouldn't need to say anything until later, maybe
tonight. She'd stay home, The Blue Boys weren't playing. Nothing
had been planned.
Their
apartment faced west and there were great sunsets over the city.
She wouldn't be able to see the predawn light.
She
turned the knob, opened the door and lights were on. Damn. And her
hair was still wet. She couldn't even pretend.
Leo
had been sleeping in a chair. He looked up. She shut the door behind
her, walked down the hall toward him.
"Clara,"
he said. "You okay?"
"Honey,
I'm . . ."
"Don't.
You don't need to say anything. You don't need to justify yourself
to me. Ever. What time is it?" He looked at his watch, "5:39,"
and stood. "Let's go to bed."
"Honey,
I'm . . ."
"Hush,"
he said, touching her lips.
He
walked past, turned off the hall light, came back. "Come on."
"Leo,
I . . ."
"You
want something to eat first?"
"No,
I . . ."
"Then
let's go to bed." He guided her to their room, turning out
the lights as they went.
"Go
on," he said. "I want to watch you undress." He sat
on the bed.
She
was shy all of a sudden. "Okay." She turned around, her
back to him and took off her top, stepped out of her boots, and
slipped out of her skirt.
"You're
so damned beautiful. Turn around."
She
hesitated, then turned slowly.
"I
need to not take you for granted." He stood and removed his
tie, tossed it to his dresser rather than being careful. He opened
his shirt and the color of his skin, smooth and muscular, began
to fill the room.
"We'll
talk tonight, unless . . ."
"I'll
be home."
"Sure?"
He smiled.
"For
sure."
"Good."
His
pants off he lowered his boxers, left them on the floor. "I
assume you're up to it. I want what what's his name got tonight."
"Grady."
"That's
right. Grady. If you're too tired . . ."
"No.
Sure." She fell to her knees.
His
dick was in her mouth, fast and deep.
"You
won't break, will you?" He held her head and thrust deeper.
She tried to hold him as he used her, thrusting rapidly. She took
a breath every other stroke, exhaled on the next. Shallow quick
breaths, like a pump, he the piston, rapidly in and out, blocking
and unblocking her breath.
He
took a long time, holding her head where the neck and skull meet,
banging her face, her saliva pouring from her mouth, until he came.
Then he stopped, in her deep, until he finished.
She
gasped when he pulled out, his dick still in her mouth. She looked
up and met his eyes. He was swaying a little, and smiling down at
her.
"You
can tell your Grady, I'm willing to share. But when I want you,
you had better be here. Understand?"
He
still held her head, his prick still in her mouth.
"Good,"
he said, and let go.
"I'll
do anything you want, Leo. Anything."
"I
know you will, Clara. You already have." He ruffled her hair.
"Let's go to bed."
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