As a parent, I always kept an eye on my kids to make sure they were happy, doing well at school, not in trouble with the police, and so on and so on.
So when my daughter looked a little as if she'd been crying, I went on red alert. I said "You look as if you've been crying, sweetheart. Is anything the matter?"
"Oh no, Dad" Marilyn said. I just had something in my eye."
I felt it was bullshit, but I respected her right to privacy. I said "Well, let me know if you need any advice or help."
"I will, Dad!"
A few days later, I saw tears on her cheeks. I said "What's wrong honey?"
"I've been watching a sad movie on TV, Dad, it's nothing."
"Hmmmm" I replied, not believing a word of it, but not wanting to pressure her into telling me if she didn't want to.
A few days later, when I approached her room to tell her breakfast was ready, I heard her crying. Her sound made prickles stand up on the back of my neck.
I knocked and poked my head in her room. She was sitting up in bed crying, with a box of tissues beside her. She quickly mopped up the tears and tried to smile as I said "Breakfast!"
I went further into the room, asking "Anything I can help you with?"
"No Dad, it's just something I have to get through on my own."
I backed off, not sure of what to do. If only her mother were here. Maybe she'd know what to do.
Sometimes a parent feels so helpless. Day after day, she looked sad. If only I knew what was wrong. My little girl's smile was gone.
After a few more days I got a note from her teacher, saying that her work was deteriorating, and she seemed depressed. I had to do something.
I said to her "Marilyn, could you just talk to me for a second? I don't want to pry, but you're really not happy, are you! If you could just tell me, maybe we could work out a solution together."
She opened her mouth as if she was going to say something. I got ready to listen attentively. Then she changed her mind, saying "Oh no, Dad! I can't tell you."
"Is there anyone you can tell?"
"NO! Definitely NOT!" she blurted out.
I began to back off again, feeling confused and rejected and utterly helpless.
Marilyn saw the look on my face and said "Oh, I'm sorry Dad! Come here! Give us a hug!"
We hugged and I felt a bit relieved. Then she said "Well okay Dad. There is something I can tell you about it. I'm in love with someone and I know he can't ever love me back. Not the way I want him to, anyway."
I breathed a sigh of relief. At least I knew what the problem was. "Honey, you're probably the most beautiful person in the state, physically as well as your nature as a person. I don't see how anyone could even control themselves in your presence, let alone not love you back."
"Oh thank you Dad! Thank you! I've just got to wait until I get over him, one day. If I ever do."
"Well, most teenagers get crushes on someone for a while, but sooner or later..."
"Oh no Dad! That's not like this at all. It's not even remotely like a crush! This is the real thing. True love. Marriage. Lifetime stuff. "Come near my man and I'll rip yer ovaries out". That sort of stuff."
"Well honey, maybe he is meant for you. You have excellent judgement of people. If you love him that much, maybe he is your true love. Maybe you should fight to win his love, and then..."
"Oh Dad! No. No. I'm going to have to tell you. Come here, Dad. Sit down. Take me by the hands. Now look at me. Dad, the one I love.. is.. Oh shit, this is so hard!"
I started to speak, but her look stopped me. My daughter said "Dad. I'm just going to blurt this out. I'm going to force myself. It's stupid, it's crazy, but... I'm in love with you, Dad!"
I gasped. That was the last thing I expected. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect her to say that!
"Oh honey, I never suspected.."
Again she silenced me. "That's why it's so hopeless, Dad. You're my fucking father, for God's sake! Pardon the French!"
"Oh, it's alright Dad. It's not your fault. It's just something I've got to work through, that's all. I've been in love with you all my life, but now that I'm growing, it's beginning to interfere with my needs for sex and marriage and, you know, my dreams of a lifetime of happiness with my true love, and stuff. What a mess! What a confusing, hopeless mess!"
"Oh no honey. You don't have to work through anything. I've got something to tell you too. I've been in love with you ever since I held you in my arms when you were born" I said.
"Yes, well, fathers do love their daughters, don't they," said Marilyn.
"Marriage, sex, true love for a lifetime, "come near my woman and I'll cut your balls off and feed them to you through a straw". That sort of thing" I said.
"Oh!.. Dad!.. Oh!.. Really? Oh my god! Really? Do you mean..." Marilyn was practically in shock.
"I'm in love with you, too, honey. Always have been. Always will be!"
"Oh my god! This is unbelievable! Oh Dad, what are we going to do? We're father and daughter, for god's sake!"
"Well," I said. "A few months ago I came across a group of people on the net who believe in incest. They believe it's a beautiful thing, not a perversion and not abuse. Some of them even believe it's true love. I wonder if I could find them again?"
"Oh I hope so Dad. Maybe if we read a lot about it, we could get a clearer view of what's happening to us."
"Yes. Everything will be alright. We'll work it out. We're both in love with each other so we'll work something out. Well. Let's go into the kitchen and celebrate with a cup of tea, honey!" I said.
My daughter shyly took me by the hand and we began to walk towards the kitchen. Then she paused and looked down. "Um, Dad?"
"There is something we could do to celebrate that's better than a cup of tea." said Marilyn
She pointed her foot up, this way and that, looking down at it. Her cheeks began to look a little flushed. She said "We could, um, you know, have sex. If you like."
She looked shyly up at me, through her hair, which was now covering her face.
"Oh darling, you're so sweet! Yes, let's do that. But are you sure this isn't too sudden for you?"
"Dad! I've been dreaming of having sex with you for years! Day and night. I've had it with you ten thousand times, in my mind. You're in my veins, in my blood. It's never far from my thoughts. No, it's certainly not too sudden! I've had enough fantasy. I want to make it become real, now. What do we do first?"
"Well, let's see. Should we take off our clothes?"
"Oh yes. Let's take off our clothes and get into bed! Oh Daddy, you're my darling!"
I turned around I began to walk back to the bedroom as if I were escorting her down the aisle, singing the Bridal March.
"Ba dum bada, ba dum bada, ba dum dada dum bada dum dada!" I sang.
"Oh Dad! I really do feel married to you! You're wonderful! This morning I was crying over you, and now I'm so happy I could burst!"
"We're both a bit nervous, aren't we!" I said.
"Absolutely!" said my daughter. "But once we have sex we'll feel calmer. The new relationship will be established and real to us once we have sex. C'mon, Dad! Take off your clothes."
My daughter Marilyn already had her dress halfway off. I've seen her naked body nearly every day, but never once did I ever think I'd be making love with it for the rest of my life.
When we were both naked we climbed into bed. "What should we do first?" I said, not wanting to do anything that might diminish my daughter's enjoyment of her first time with me.
"We should lie here in each other's arms, Daddy. And cuddle. And let nature take its course."
My daughter turned on her side and put her leg and her arm over me, and lay her head on my chest, near my shoulder. I felt an erection growing quickly. It felt thick in response to my daughter.
My daughter shyly wrapped her hand softly around my penis and held it. "Oh Dad! This is wonderful! I'm so in love with you Daddy!"
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