By Strickland83
I drove the rest of the way home damp, with the heater turned up in the car. It was close to sunset when I got home, unpacking as darkness fell. I had taken a shower and changed, and was just heating up some of Mom’s leftovers when I heard a key in the door. I peered around the corner to see the door open and a shock of red hair appear.
“You survived!” Cathy called out. “I wasn’t sure if a trip home would be fatal for you or not.”
“Nope, I went home and lived. I even have pictures to prove it.”
“I’ll need to see those,” she said sternly. Then, “Star did fine without you.”
“I know,” I said, looking at my cat regarding me indifferently as she yawned. She did look especially eager to see Cathy, probably because she had been the one feeding her during my absence.
“Hi, Star,” she said as she rubbed my cat’s head. Star responded by rolling onto her back and stretching. Cathy rubbed her belly and she began purring loudly.
“Something smells good,” Cathy commented, not looking up from Star.
“Mom’s home cooking. Want some?”
“Thanks, but I already ate. I brought leftovers back with me too.”
“It’s nice to go home, isn’t it?”
“It seems that someone has been trying to tell you that,” she said with forceful meaning.
“I know, I know. It’s like going to confession. You put it off as long as you feel you can, dreading it. Then after you finally do it, you feel so much better.”
Cathy finally looked at me and spoke softer. “So was it really nice?”
“It was,” I said, smiling as I remembered Mom and Dad, and Kirsten.
“Did you get to see any of your old friends?”
“Just one,” I said, smiling a little more. Cathy didn’t miss the expression.
“Really? Who is she?”
“I didn’t say it was a she,” I backpedaled.
“Well, unless you’ve suddenly turned gay, no guy smiles that way after meeting up with an old drinking buddy from high school.”
“Okay, her name is Kirsten.”
“Pretty name,” she said
“Yes, and it fits her,” I began, without thinking how talking about my girlfriend might make Cathy feel. My girlfriend. I hadn’t thought specifically about Kirsten that way in a long time, but I suppose that is what she was. At least, I hoped that is what she was. I thought back to how I had spent the holidays with her. I didn’t just think about the sex, but about the time we spent together. I also thought about how she looked wearing that necklace I gave her. I felt myself smiling.
“I know that smile,” Cathy teased me. “That’s the smile of somebody remembering someone special. There’s more to Kirsten than you’re telling me.”
“Maybe,” I said shyly.
“Want to talk about it?” she offered.
I thought about that. “I suppose I have you to thank for this. You and Mrs. Malcolm.” When Cathy’s face showed confusion, I explained, “The old lady I was taking care of before Christmas.” What Cathy said next was not what I was expecting.
“Ted, Mrs. Malcolm passed away right after you left.” She moved next to me and touched me gently on the arm. “I’m sorry.”
I looked into Cathy’s eyes and felt the tears that were starting to blur my vision. “It’s alright. I was just remembering my last conversation with her.” Cathy listened attentively to what I was saying. “She was trying to tell me how important family was, and how I shouldn’t wait until it was too late to see mine.” I noticed a tear slip out of one of Cathy’s eyes. “What?”
Cathy started to cry a little. “Her family hadn’t come to see her until the hospital called to tell them she had passed. Then they showed up, crying and saying they should have been there. I’ve seen that so many times. People wait until it’s too late to be there.”
“Well you changed me while there was still time to go home. Thank you for that.” I leaned forward and kissed her cheek, tasting the salty tear that was there.
“You’re welcome.” She swallowed, wiped her eyes, and sat up straighter. “So tell me about this Kirsten,” she said, sounding a little more eager.
“Do you really want to hear this?” She nodded eagerly. “Okay,” I said, and began to tell her the story of Kirsten. I told her how we met, and had dated over our senior year. I told her how I had run into her at my parents’ house, and how she arranged to get my parents back home in time to spend Christmas with me. I hadn’t intended to tell her so much, but once I started I kept going. I told her about the gifts we gave each other, and I showed Cathy the compass. When I opened it and the needle swung around to the north, I looked off in that direction. I was staring at a curtained window, but in my mind’s eye I saw Kirsten. I wondered if she was looking to the south at that moment and thinking about me.
“Ted?” Cathy asked and I blinked. “I lost you there for awhile. What were you thinking about?” I blushed. “Oh, her. You’re getting serious about her, aren’t you?”
I started to deny it, but I remembered my promise to take a trip with her. I also remembered the nights we had spent together. “I hope so,” I said before I realized it.
“Good. It’s about time you had someone like that in your life.” She reached over to Star and stroked her fur. “I think the old girl’s got competition,” she said.
“Yeah, maybe she does,” I said, and we both smiled.
Cathy stood. “I need to get going. We both have to work tomorrow. See you at the hospital.”
“Thanks for everything. For taking care of Star… and for pushing me to do what I really needed to do.”
“Anytime, my friend,” she told me as she left.
I sat on the sofa a long time, holding that compass in my hand and staring at the needle pointing north – pointing to Kirsten.
When I got to work the next day, one of the first things I did when I got a free moment was to put in for vacation.
“Ted? Is this really you?” my supervisor asked, grinning. “You’re taking more vacation? This is unprecedented.” I hardly ever took vacation.
“Yes, well, there’s been a few changes over the holidays. I’m taking a trip with a friend.”
“That’s no problem. You certainly have enough time saved up. I’m just surprised – and glad.”
I had remembered my promise to Kirsten, and I had every intention of keeping it. I had been tied up for too long with my job, making a lot of money working and not having time to spend much of it. Now I had someone to spend it with. I wasn’t going to let life pass me by anymore.
I called Kirsten after work to tell her that I had my vacation scheduled. She was really excited to hear my news. “I was afraid you weren’t serious,” she told me excitedly. “I can’t believe we’re really going to do this.”
“What’s the next step?” I asked her.
“You’ll need a passport, if you don’t already have one. I’ll check on plane and hotel reservations.”
“Okay, but I want to pay for the trip,” I told her.
There was a pause before she spoke. “I can pay my own way,” she said.
“I’m sure you can, but I want to give you this. It’s important to me.”
“Okay,” she said. “If you really want to do that.”
“I do.” I smiled at an old memory. “It’s like the movie popcorn.”
I heard her laughing. “Do you still remember that?”
“How could I forget? It was how we met.”
“I’ll get even with you, you know,” she said, but wouldn’t explain no matter how I asked.
We decided that she’d set everything up but I would pay for it. She said she would call me back in a few days when she had the arrangements set. After that, we talked about how we had spent time together over the holidays.
“If you hadn’t shown up, you wouldn’t have been the only one lonely for Christmas,” she told me.
I was nervous about what I was going to say, but I didn’t let myself dwell on it. I knew I just had to say it. I didn’t see how it could come to a bad end, only a better one. I took a deep breath. Star moved next to me as if to comfort me or give me strength.
“Kirsten, I knew how I felt about you back in high school. You were the most important thing to me. Then, as graduation neared, I did a really stupid thing. I thought something else was more important to me than you were. I chased a dream that could never make me as happy as you could.”
“I thought you said you didn’t dream,” she teased.
“Well, about that. I didn’t tell you the whole truth. Maybe I always dreamed, like you said, and just didn’t remember them. Or maybe I’ve started remembering them now. Either way, I’m aware that I’m dreaming. They’re strange and they don’t always make sense. But when I think about them, I see ways that they could be about you, about how I feel about you. Kirsten, I - ”
She stopped me right there. I wasn’t sure if I was disappointed or relieved, but she told me, “Ted, don’t. I think I know what you’re about to say. If I’m right, then this is not the thing to say over the telephone. It’s something you should say in person. Hold on to that thought awhile. Next time we’re together, if you still feel the same way, tell me then.”
I blew out the breath I had been holding. Star, sensing my tension, tried to bat at my elbow to get me to play with her.
“The next time we’re together, Kirsten, I’ll have something to tell you.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” she said, and it sounded like she was smiling.
We hung up shortly after that, and I quickly fell asleep, exhausted after my shift. I dreamed that night. It was another mix of clouds and turquoise and the feeling that something I was looking for was always a few steps ahead of me no matter how hard I had tried to reach it.
I caught up with Cathy at work the next day when we both had some free time. I pulled her into the lounge where we could talk in private.
“I really need to thank you for what you did for me,” I started.
“Christmas? That was just –“
“No, really, I do. You showed me something, or rather made me see something, which I refused to see. I finally saw what was really important. I finally recognized that what I had been missing in my life, what I had been looking for without realizing it, was right there at home. I walked away from what I really needed. You pushed me to go back there and find it.”
“Ted, don’t ever forget that you made the decision to go. I might have pushed you a little, but it was you who made the choice to go. Give yourself credit for that.”
“I just wanted to tell you thank you.”
“You’re welcome, friend. You need to dance in the rain more.” she told me with a smile.
I was stunned at her words. “How did you know?” I asked.
“Know what? ‘Dancing in the rain’ is a kind of metaphor for letting all your cares go and focusing on the simple things, on what’s really important in life.” Just then, her pager went off. “I need to get back out on the floor.” She touched me on the hand as she stood, then she was gone and the door swung closed behind her.
I knew I was lucky to have friends like her. She and Mrs. Malcolm, and probably many others, were trying to show me what I needed to do. It was because of them that I finally went home to Kirsten. Kirsten gave me her love, and reminded me how to dance in the rain. She showed me how to let all my cares go and heal myself. Now if I could just not screw up the relationship with Kirsten, maybe I’d finally find the happiness that had eluded me all these years.
I called Kirsten often, and even called my parents now at least once a week. It was almost strange having a real relationship with my parents again. It was nice, too.
A few weeks after Christmas, I was at work on Friday afternoon when Dan came looking for me.
“I was passing through the lobby a little while ago and I saw this hot chick asking for directions,” he told me.
“So did you help her out?” I asked. He was famous for always checking out good looking women wandering around the hospital.
“I couldn’t, but I think she was asking for our department. Maybe we’re getting somebody new in the department. I’d sure like to train her.”
“Dan, she’s probably just looking for a friend,” Cathy said as two women came around the corner. One was a volunteer from the university. The other was Kirsten.
“That’s her,” Dan whispered to me.
“Kirsten!” I said, dumfounded.
“Surprise!” she said, grinning broadly.
“Do you two know each other?” Dan asked. “Because if you don’t…”
“Get lost, Dan,” I said teasingly. Then to Kirsten, “What are you doing here?”
“Is that how you greet me? Because if you’re not happy to see me, it sounds like Dan here might be able to make me feel welcome.”
Instead of answering her question, I walked up to her, took her in my arms, and kissed her. In the background, I could hear people clapping.
When I let her go, she said, “Now that’s a welcome.”
I just stood there, grinning and looking at her.
Cathy spoke up. “Since Ted is too star struck to introduce us, I’m Cathy and this is Dan. We work with Ted.”
That snapped me out of the spell I was under. “Sorry, uhm, everybody, this is Kirsten.”
“Yeah, we figured that part out,” Cathy teased.
“It’s very nice to meet all of you,” Kirsten said, shaking hands with Cathy. “Is he always this quiet at work?”
Dan jumped at the chance to speak. “No, just when a beautiful woman comes to visit him – which doesn’t happen often enough.”
I blushed mightily. Everybody laughed at me, even Kirsten. Then she turned and kissed me, whispering loudly enough for everyone to hear, “I think that’s sweet.” I blushed even harder. I could feel how much my face was heating.
When I managed to regain some of my composure, I asked Kirsten, “What brings you here?”
“You, silly. I decided to surprise you and visit for the weekend.”
My face fell. “I wish you had called first. I have to work all weekend.”
I didn’t notice Cathy, but she slipped out. When she came back in, she came right up to me. “Ted, I need to take some time off next week. Would you swap shifts with me?”
It took me a few minutes to realize what she was doing. “Do you mean –“
“Of course I do, silly. I just worked it out with Tina. Now I can’t do anything about today, but you two have tomorrow and Sunday off to spend together.”
Kirsten said with meaning, “I can’t thank you enough, Cathy. That is so nice of you.”
“We do this for each other all the time. Actually, Ted’s usually the one doing it for me. I’m just paying him back for the times he’s helped me. You can hang out here with him if you want until he gets off in about four hours.”
“I’d really like that, if it’s okay?” She looked at Cathy, and then at me.
“Sure. I just hope you don’t get too bored,” I said.
“Nonsense, I want to see what you do at work.”
“Not much,” Dan teased. Cathy shot him a dirty look. “What?”
“Don’t mind him,” I told Kirsten.
He looked Kirsten over. “You’re a peacock.” Before she could ask what he meant, he explained, “Beautiful to look at.” Then he walked out.
Cathy remembered something that needed doing and we found ourselves alone. I gave Kirsten a warmer welcoming kiss.
“I’m so glad you decided to surprise me,” I told her.
“I’m so glad your friend gave up her weekend for us to be together. I didn’t realize you worked weekends.”
“We take turns. Hospitals never close, you know?”
We spent the next few hours together, her following me around. We had a few chances to visit with my friends, and Kirsten seemed genuinely interested in what I did. Eventually, it was time for me to get off. I met with my replacement, we told everyone goodbye, and walked out to the parking lot. I had Kirsten follow me to my place.
When we got to the door, I realized my embarrassment as I remembered how messy the place was. I certainly wasn’t expecting an overnight guest when I left that morning. I didn’t mind having Kirsten for the weekend; I just wished I had cleaned up the place for her.
As I opened the door, I tried to watch her face for signs of disapproval. It wasn’t easy to keep her in view as we walked in, but she didn’t seem too displeased from what I could see. Star came to the door to see who was there. She meowed when she saw me, and rubbed against Kirsten’s leg.
Kirsten bent down. “Hello, kitty,” she said as she petted Star. “Have you been lonely? Does mean Teddy keep you locked up all alone in here while he’s at work?”
I ran my hand over Star’s head. “Yes, mean old Teddy keeps her locked up all alone while he’s out having fun at work.”
“Poor kitty,” Kirsten said. Then she looked up. “Show me around the rest of the place,” she said.
“Any part in particular you’d like to see?” I asked, hoping I could guess her answer.
“Well… how about the bedroom? I’m sure I’ll be spending a lot of time in there so I should probably get an idea of what it looks like,” she said, raising her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.
“I was hoping you might feel that way,” I said happily.
Kirsten took my arm in both her hands as I turned towards the hall. We hadn’t gone two steps before I stopped. She looked into my eyes, expectantly, with surprise.
“I should have told you this at Christmas.” I thought about that and added, “I should have said this back in high school. I was stupid and a fool for not saying it. I let other things that seemed important at the time take precedence.”
Kirsten stopped me by placing a finger on my lips. “Stop beating yourself up over what you should have done. Just say what you want to say.”
I felt a warmth inside. At times it seemed like Kirsten knew me even better than I knew myself. That made what I wanted to say to her even easier. I took both of her hands in mine, held them against my chest, and spoke up, finally feeling the courage to actually say what I had felt for years. “Kirsten, I’ve known this in my heart ever since I met you. I’m sorry I never told you before, but… I love you.”
A warm smile spread across her face. “I know,” she said softly. “I’ve known that for years. I’ve just been waiting for you to say it.”
It was like a weight had been lifted off me. All these years, wanting to tell her how I felt and regretting that I hadn’t had the courage, or hadn’t wanted to take the risk, had been weighing me down. Then I realized that she hadn’t said how she felt. Did she feel the same way about me?
She must have seen the change in my expression, the different look on my face. I felt her squeeze my hands as she told me, “I love you too, Ted. I always have.”
My relief was complete. She did feel the same way about me. Then I realized that I should never have doubted it. I thought back about the things she had done for me. Not just at Christmas, but even in high school. I felt very stupid as I realized she had been telling me – with her actions – all along.
Kirsten indicated the direction to the bedroom with her head. “Now that that is out of the way, can we go have the rest of this conversation in your bed?”
At first I was a little shocked, but then I thought about where we were headed before I stopped. I also thought about how things had gone between us over Christmas and realized that this was exactly what her surprise visit was all about. I grinned stupidly and pulled her with me to my bedroom.
As I walked through the door and flipped on the light, I panicked. This room was even messier than the living room. The bed was unmade (and the sheets needed changing), discarded clothes were strewn around, and to make matters worse, a wadded up tissue was on the nightstand from what I had done the night before while thinking about Kirsten. I was a slob.
Kirsten surely couldn’t help but notice, but she didn’t make any sign that it bothered her. She just gave the messy room a quick look and then turned to me, putting her arms around my neck. She was smiling sweetly, perhaps expectantly, as she looked at me. That look made my heart melt. If I had any doubt, which I didn’t, when I spoke those words to her, the way she made me feel at that moment would have erased it. I was finally coming to realize what I had missed all those years, what I had given up in the futile search for something better. I wasn’t going to find anything better than what I had right there in my arms. I think she knew what I was thinking, because we spoke no words. She slid her arms from around my neck and we undressed in front of each other.
We both smiled as we progressed. It was obvious each of us enjoyed what we were seeing. To accent the point, my erection popped free when I removed the last piece of my clothes. She hugged me again, and I savored the feeling of her naked body against mine. The warm feeling of body to body, man to woman, is such a comforting sensation. Beyond eroticism, it gives such satisfaction and joy. I was savoring that joy as Kirsten kissed me and pressed her body hard against mine.
She held my hand as she crawled into my bed, not needing to look back to see if I was following. There was no other place I wanted to be than with her. She turned over and I was on top of her, kissing her, fondling her, savoring her. I had missed her but I didn’t have to pretend any longer. She was there with me, wanting me as much as I wanted her. I slipped my arms beneath her and held myself to her, savoring the closeness.
After a few minutes, she moved her lips to the side, away from mine. Breathing heavily, she said, “This is nice, but don’t you want more?”
It took me only a few seconds to come up with a response. I opened my mouth but spoke from my heart, looking at her hair on the pillow. “How much I get doesn’t matter. What matters is that it’s with you. Whatever I get here will be more than enough.” Then I moved away from her. I was sitting on my knees, between her legs, when I finally met her eyes. I could see her eyes were moist with tears. My words had the desired effect. I gently spread her lips open with one hand, guiding my cock into her with the other, as I leaned forward again. I help myself over her on my arms as I felt her pussy enveloping my hardness. We smiled at each other as I breathed, “This feels so good,” with much feeling. She smiled in answer and I lowered myself fully onto her body. Yes, it did feel so good at that moment.
I started moving and I could feel her moving as well. We each worked to seek not our own pleasure but each other’s pleasure. It was giving, not taking, as we made love on my bed. I pressed my face to the side of hers and kissed her. In that kiss, I felt strands of her hair and even a few tears against my lips. I felt her.
She cried out as I filled her, our joining complete. Even though we were finished, I held myself tightly to her. I was soft now, unable to thrust anymore, but unwilling to let her go just yet. I felt her contracting pussy squeeze my limp dick from her slippery confines, felt a flood of our wetness dampen the sheets beneath us, and still had no desire to move from her. I turned my face to hers and kissed her ferociously, pouring out my passion into her mouth. I pulled her even more tightly to my spent body, not wanting to let go.
I felt her giggle against me. “Are you ever going to let me go?” she asked happily.
“Nope. Never,” I declared.
“Uhm, then the bed is going to get a lot wetter soon. I really need to pee.”
“I have more sheets.”
She giggled harder. “Come on, I need to get up.”
“If you must. But let it be known that it wasn’t me who wanted to get up.”
Outright laughing now, she said, “Okay, now let me up before you do have to change the sheets.”
I moved aside, reluctantly, and she ran off to the bathroom. She returned a few minutes later. Sitting next to me on the bed, she spoke softly. “I’m glad you didn’t want to get up.”
“How could I? Lying there on top of you, inside you, I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
“That’s sweet.” Then, changing her tone, “Now let’s talk about our vacation.”
“You’ll have to help me out. I haven’t taken a real vacation in –“
“A very long, long time,” she completed for me. “Don’t worry, I’ll show you what to do.”
Running a hand up her side and trying to cup her breast, I told her, “I’m sure you will.” She relaxed her arm and let me touch her there. We both smiled.
“I have everything setup. You just have to pay for it. But I can pay for my share if you want.”
“No, I said I wanted to do this and I mean it. Just tell me who to pay and how much.”
“The flight is on hold, you can do that over the Internet. I found this really neat villa where we can stay.”
“A villa?”
“Don’t worry. We’re just renting the guest house. We’ll need to rent a jeep also. The villa is kind of outside of town.”
“I’m sure it will all be wonderful. I can’t wait.”
“Me, too! Just think, the next time we see each other, we will be on our way.”
We finally got out of bed and I rummaged around the kitchen for something to eat while she got her papers together. She had borrowed one of my t-shirts to wear and she looked great in it. Every time I looked at her, I started getting hard all over again because I knew she had absolutely nothing on under that shirt. I had put on shorts and a t-shirt, realizing underwear would be unnecessary and only slow things down later.
I paid for the airline tickets over the Internet. I had to make a phone call to pay the deposit for the villa and the rental car. As I made the payments, it became more real to me that I was going to take a vacation. That we were really going to take a vacation. Not so long ago, Kirsten was just a distant (though fond) memory. Soon, we’d be dancing in the sand.
The End
This story is Copyright © 2010 by
Strickland83. All rights reserved.
Afterword
The idea for this story came to me around Thanksgiving of last year, when I saw a television commercial. It was about a medical worker who couldn’t get home for the holidays, so his family showed up at his apartment and prepared the Thanksgiving meal while he was at work. When he got home after work, his family surprised him with the celebration he thought he was going to miss. Over the years, I’ve spoken with friends who worked unbelievable hours in hospitals. We discussed how they could work eighteen, twenty-four and even thirty-six hour shifts. We also discussed how their social lives suffered. For many of them, their circle of friends was little more than the people they worked with. From these experiences, a story was born.
I worked with a few new team members for this story. Thanks go out to Rachael, Girl Friday, Doctor B, Lisa and my ever helpful proofreader, Terry Steyaert. I also want to thank Tony for sharing the story about Christmas with his cat and giving me the idea of including his cat, Star, in the story. I could never get so many details right in my stories without the input and help from all these friends. It takes many hours to research, write, edit and post each chapter that you read in an hour or less. Thanks also to you, my readers, for taking the time to enjoy what I create.
Strickland83
May, 2010
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