My Daddy is an Asshole
Hello, My name is Susan. I have a big problem, well two really. I have
been keeping a secret for a long time. You see my father is an
asshole--but nobody knows it.
Here is my other problem, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first
time last night. Good news right? Wrong! It was fine when we were just
friends. I dated a lot, and he knew all about it. I'd suck their
dicks,while they played with my heavy tits. I even let guys fuck and cum
in my ass. It was not a secret, everyone knew I was a slut. Ron and
everyone else thought I was a virgin; that I was saving myself for
marriage cuz I never let a guy fuck my pussy. In a way I guess a part of
me feels like I am a virgin. I have never surrendered myself to a man, I
have never said "I love you" and allowed him to take me completely.
My virginity was stolen from me. I don't even know exactly when my
father took it.
To me sex has always been a dirty little part of life, like shitting or
puking. I mean you get an urge, a certain pressure and you have to
release it. I've had lots of boyfriends. Most of them loved bending me
over and fucking me up the ass. I let them do it as hard and as brutal
as they liked. Lot's of guys would talk dirty to me calling me a whore
or a slut as they squeezed my tits and came in my ass. I never let them
play with my pussy though, I always masturbated myself to orgasam. I
didn't need their filthy hands touching me. I never wanted a man to have
that kind of control over me again.
Then I met Ron.
He was so different. We had a chemistry class together. We had never
really talked. He was a quiet nerdy, boy scout type. Don't get me wrong
he is actually kind of cute if you look past his Urkel glasses, and
fashion tragedy attire. One day he came up to me and out of the blue
said he liked the way I answered one of the Professor's questions.
That's it, just a comment in passing as we walked out the door. I was 19
years old and nobody had ever praised my mind before. When you are a
pretty blonde with big tits, a nice ass, and a rep for being a freak
nasty cum slut; that's not what guys usually want to talk to me about.
Ron really looked at me, in the face. His eyes did not stray to my fat
tits. I never caught him wandering down to my juicy ass. I slowly
accepted that he really thought I was smart and funny. I had never
trusted a man after my father raped me, but somehow we became friends.
As a friend he had a problem with the guys I dated, with the way I let
them treat me.
We were studying for mid terms and had taken a break at Burger King when
one of the loser guys I had been fucking came up to our table. He leaned
across Ron and gave me a hot, wet, kiss.
"Hey Susan, looking good enough to fuck in those jeans, Mmm I sure would
love to see you sucking my dick tonight, what do you say, is it a date?"
"Sure Jim see you around nine".
"Meet me at the door naked. I can't wait to fuck your sweet ass. See ya
slut," he said as he reached out and gave my nipples a friendly little
After he left Ron let me have it. I had never seen him so angry.
"What th fuck is wrong with you?! Why did you let him do that to you. "
I...I could not explain it to him, I did not realy know myself. But I
liked Ron and did not want him mad at me. I guess I should have seen
this coming. I just thought he was different (sigh). Still he was better
than most, so I offered him what I thought any man would want.
"Look I'm sorry. You can fuck me too if you want. I don't know why we
have never done it but I promise to be real good for you. You can do
anything you want to me, except fuck my pussy,"I said with all
No man had ever turned down an offer like that from me. Frankly I was
sitting there waiting for that pathetic, classic male, glazed over look
to settle on Ron's face. For him to start planning all the nasty things
he would do to me.
Imagine my suprise when he started crying, got up and left without a
word. I tried calling him for two days with no luck. I kept playing the
coversation over and over in my mind, but could not figure out what his
But it bothered me.
It made me feel empty and cold to think that I had lost my friend, my
only real friend. I decided to go over to his apt and find a way to make
things right between us. Even if I had to let him fuck my pussy I would.
He meant that much to me.
I knocked on his door and he opened it.
"Come on in Susan, I guess we need to talk."
I followed him and we sat down on his couch. I was nervous and
uncomfortable, and not sure how to start.
"Ron, I'm sorry if I upset you the other day. That guy meant nothing to
me. If you want me to stop talking about other guys I fuck around you, I
will. If you want me I'm yours--I'll do anything for you...I guess if
you say I have to you can fuck me in my pussy too."
I could not look him in the eye I was holding my breath waiting for him
to accept or reject me. Slowly he put his arms around me and pulled me
into a tight bear hug. I started kissing his neck and was pulling my
t-shirt off when he stopped me.
"Susan, keep your clothes on, nothing is going to happen. I have to tell
you something, and it's not going to be easy. Susan--I love you. What's
more I like you. I want to be your friend. I can't bear to watch the way
you let men use you. It hurts too much. So...I think I have to get you
out of my heart. I don't understand what made you this way, but I want
to be there for you, as a friend. A part of me just wants to hold you
and caress you and worship you, to wash away every asshole who has ever
touched you. I want you to love me and respect me. I don't think that's
possible now. It's too painful to be around you all the time. So I'll
have to cut back some, but I'll be there as much as I can.
Ron held me tight for a good 10 minutes. It was slowly sinking in that
he did not want me. He did not find me attractive. I began to wonder if
he was gay. Over the next 3 weeks I saw him a few times. We talked on
the phone every couple of days and even studied together once at the
library. It was not enough, I was used to more. I needed more.
Then it happened.
I was walking across campus and saw Ron talking(laughing really) with
some nerdy bimbo bitch. She was flirting with him. It was so fucking
obvious, to everyone but him. The way she kept putting her hand on his
arm and leaning into him. She had a squeaky little giggle that made me
want to slap her.
How dare she touch my... ? He said he loved me, he was my...?
I don't know what he was, but he was MINE!
I stomped over to them and screamed at her"get your hands off of him he
belongs to me bitch!"
The prissy little sissy slut took one look at me and ran away crying. I
think she went off to find her mommy.
Ron looked startled and in shock.
"What just happened Susan, Why did you do that."
As the adrenaline surge leaked away from me I could not believe what I
had just done. Why had I done it?
"You belong to me. She had no business touching you. You are mine.
I..love you," I said in a small voice. I was so cold, big sloppy tears
were dripping down my face. My teeth were chattering and my nose began
to run. Ron wrapped his arms around me and kissed me slow and deep. He
sucked all the bad air in me out and breathed his sweet essence in.
"I love you too Susan, I guess we need to talk some more."
It has been a long time since I was as scared as I was the night I had
to try and explain my past to Ron. My early teen years were a nightmare,
I had never told anyone all the things my rapist did to me. I told him
the basics that night and it opened the flood gates. I am writing it all
down now, getting it out in the open. I have been a prisoner to my
father's sick cruelty for long enough.
My father is an asshole and I will hate him forever for what he did to
me. I felt so alone, so helpless. Nobody would have believed me,
everyone thought he was a great guy. So did I until I was 15.
My parents got divorced when I was 11.
I still loved my daddy then. I remember feeling sorry for daddy. He
had to leave home, and our friends, and even our dog; and live in that 1
bedroom apt all alone. Just because mommy did not love him anymore. I
tried to adjust to being a divorced kid, and for a while it really was
not bad. My parents were not fighting anymore, and I got to spend every
other weekend with my funny dad. I liked having him all to myself, being
the center of attention. At first I would sleep on his hard sofa bed.
One night though daddy and I were watching tv and both fell asleep. I
woke up in the middle of the night and decided to use daddy's empty bed.
The next morning I awoke to find daddy's heavy arms wrapped around me.
If I'm truthful with myself...it felt nice to feel his hot breath on my
back, to feel his body heat through my thin nightgown.
When I tried to get up he hugged me to him even tighter. I could feel
him pressing into me.
"Dad, dad wake up." I said as I pulled his arm off of me.
Slowly he did. He looked down at me and it took a few seconds for him to
register that his daughter was in bed with him. Finally he smiled,yawned
and said, "good morning beautiful did you sleep well?"
"I sure did, your bed is a lot more comfortable than the sofa. Uh...you
don't mind do you dad?"
He was quiet for a few seconds and then said"no I don't mind. You feel
nice and toasty up against me...shit Susan look at the time it's almost
11:00 if we don't fly out of here you'll be late for soccer and the
coach won't play you."
You have to understand how important soccer was to me at age 11. I was
our team's star player. If I was benched we would lose and all my
friends would blame me.
Today was the championship game.
"Dad please we have to hurry," I squealed as we got out of bed.
"Honey I'm sorry but by the time you shower, use the bathroom, and bush
your teeth...and then I do the same--there is no way we can make it."
An inspiration born of desperation hit me: "Dad what if we use the
bathroom together. While I'm in the shower you can use the bathroom.
Then we will switch."
Dad got a strange look on his face but finally agreed," I guess it is no
worse than us sleeping together", he mumbled.
Dad let me go in and hop in the shower, and a few seconds later I heard
him come in. It felt srange being naked in the same room with my dad
but...well he WAS daddy after all it wasn't like he had never seen me
naked before. This time he could not even see me clearly through the
shower door. When I was finished I cracked the door and was feeling for
Then I saw him.
Daddy was shaving--naked. I must have gasped because he spun around and
tried to cover his penis, but it was way too big to hide. I had never
seen one before and I guess I was curious. I could not stop staring. It
kept getting bigger and longer and was twitching.
"Susan what do you think you are doing!"
my father roared. I was startled back to reality and embarassed. I
jumped back into the shower, closed the door and began to cry.
After a few minutes daddy knocked on the glass.
"C'mon out sweethart it's ok, daddy is sorry he yelled at you," he said
as he opened the shower door.
I was naked and so was daddy. He opened his arms for a hug. It felt
strange hugging him naked. I had never felt his penis press into me
before. It felt so big and hot as it pressed into my bellybutton.
Sudenly daddy lifted me under my arms and gave me a kiss--on both cheeks
and then a light one on the lips. He carried me over to the sink and sat
me on the counter. Now his penis was bumping around between my thighs.
Everything was happening so quickly, I did not know what to say. Daddy
acted like nothing was wrong. He stood between my legs and talked to me
while he finished shaving. As strange as it felt being naked in front of
him, and feeling his penis touch me...I was young and innocent and loved
my daddy. It felt kind of nice to be so close to him. I can remember how
mommy and daddy used to sleep together and shower together. I recall the
laughing and giggling, and soft mummurs that used to come from their
bathroom. It made me feel grownup to be sharing this time with daddy. As
I look back on it I know how wrong it was for daddy to be naked with me,
to lean forward and hold his dick tight against my lower stomach, to
press in to me.
If he had only stopped there I could forgive him, I would still love
If only he had stopped there.
We made it to practice just in time. I still can remember running down
the field ,evading defenders to get in position to score. It was a tough
game. The score was tied. Finally it was just me and their goalie. Over
the noise on the field, over all the other parents screaming, I could
hear him. My father's deep booming voice yelling my name, cheering for
me, willing me to win," Now Susan, Now! You can do it!! She can't stop
you!"he said laughing, powerful, dominant, because he KNEW I would win.
And he was right.
I was carried off the field, by my teammates. I know it was just a
Little Leauge championship, and it really was not all that
important...but how many times do you get carried off the field in a
lifetime. How many times do people scream your name and tell you that
you are the best. Once , maybe twice?
When I finaly made it to my father he bent down and hugged me hard and
said, "congratulations baby, you were better than all of them I am so
proud of you," then he kissed me on the lips and slipped his tounge
inside me for a second or two; before picking me up and swingng me
I called my mom when we got back to dad's apt. She had to work and had
missed the game. Mom was an executive secretary for a lawyer and they
had a big case coming up. He was always making her work late or on
weekends. It was not strange for him to take a last minute business
trip. More often than not mom had to go with him.
"Mom we won! I kicked the winning goal. It was so awesome! I wish you
had been there. "
"Oh honey me too, Mommy is really busy right now. I'll see you tomorrow
after school, bye sweethart."
Dad saw the disappointment on my face. He was sitting in his recliner,
and patted his lap for me to come sit in it with him. I smiled and
scrambled up in his lap and wiggled around trying to get comfortable.
"Oh ho! So I've got a little wiggle worm do I? Well I know how to fix
that," daddy laughed as he began tickling me. His hands were all over
me. Then he did something strange. He lifted my shirt and began playing
with my stomach. He made circles around my belybutton. His hands kept
creeping up my chest till he found my budding nipplets. It did kind of
tickle..but I knew this was wrong.
I did not like it.
How do you tell your daddy to stop touching you? I was 11 fucking years
old! He was my daddy, and I loved him--I did not know what to say. I
remember that I stopped laughing, and sat still while he squeeezed and
played with my breasts for several minutes. I could hear his heavy
breathing, he did not say a word. I became aware that his penis was
pressing into my bottom hard. Finally he stopped.
"What do yo want for dinner Susan, anything you want."
I was an 11 yr old American, so of course I said, "Pizza".
Dad laughed as he put his hands on my butt and slowly pushed me out of
"Big suprise, ok I'll call it in after you
take a bath. You are one stinky, smelly little wiggle worm."
We both laughed as I headed off to the bathroom. I did smell pretty
bad I thought as I turned the shower on. My hair was stringy with sweat
and I felt salty and dirty all over. I lathered in soap and shampoo and
began to relax into the hot water.
Then it happened.
I heard a sound, someone was in the bathroom with me. The shower door
opened and my dad was standing there naked.
"Dad...? What are you doing?! " I said as I tried to cover my tiny
breasts. I was still feeling a little starnge after our tickle session
bump and grind.
"Hi honey, I was just thinking we're both hungry, hot and smelly--and we
did see each other naked this morning so--why not get clean together.
We'll eat that much faster. You don't mind do you baby? I used to change
your diapers and give you a bath all the time," he said as he climbed in
to the small shower with me.
At first he just lathered up and did not touch me. He was laughing and
talking about the game and suggested we rent a movie for later on.
Slowly I relaxed.
Then it happend.
I dropped the soap. I bent over with shampoo in my eyes trying to pick
it up. I did not realize it then but I must have given my daddy quite a
view of my young pussy and ass. When I finally found it my face was at
crotch level with my dad. His beefy cock was right in front of me.
I was so embarassed. I just stayed there and stared at it. When I
realized what I had done, and that daddy was looking at me I blushed and
started to stand up.
"No honey stay there, it's ok. You are my daughter. It's only natural
that you would be curious. You are becoming a woman, so I guess it is
time we had a talk about sex and biology. There is nothing to be ashamed
about. Go ahead touch it, he won't bite you, He laughed as he placed my
hand on his dick.
I was curious, and did not know any better so I let him do it. It felt
so hard and hot and my fingers could not quite meet as I wrapped them
around daddy's cock.
Daddy sighed and it seemed like his dick got even bigger in my hand.
"C'mon Susan let's finish our shower and then I'll teach you the basics
about sex. Since you are down here anyway and have the soap, why don't
you wash daddy's cock for him, be sure to get my balls and butt too."
I did not say a word as I washed my daddy good, from cock to balls, to
the crack of his ass. I used my hands to lather him and rinsed him off.
I stood up to leave.
"Not so fast young lady, fair is fair, give me the soap..good. Now raise
your arms over your head. Daddy is gong to wash you now.
And he did.
For the next 15 minutes daddy took his time and rubbed and played with,
and soaped, and rinsed every inch of my body.
"Bend over sweetie, I want to clean your little pussy out, before I do
After a few minutes of him messing with my pussy, and digging in my ass;
I finally said,
"Dad, I think I'm clean."
He laughed, seemed to snap out of it and said,
"Yeah I guess you are right".
We got out of the shower and daddy insisted we towel each other off.
He wrapped me in the large towel and began to rub me dry. I could feel
his powerful hands squeezing and cupping and mauling me. He roughly spun
me around and did the same to my plump little ass. Then he took the
towel, put it between my thighs and sawed it back and forth over the
sensitive flesh. Finally he wrapped the towel around his penis and made
me dry him off. On the way out of the bathroom he picked up a bottle of
baby powder and baby oil and led me to his bedroom.
I was very nervous as Daddy made me lay down on his bed. He removed the
towel from around my waist.
"Susan it's time you learned about the differences in men and women's
bodies. I'm going to give you a massage while I teach you. If you have
any questions just let me know. Now do you know what this is...that's
right it's your daddy's penis but it is also called a cock, a dick or a
prick. I want you to use the correct words when we are alone. Now what
is this...yes honey it's your vagina. But it is also called a pussy, a
slit, a snatch or a cunt. Now when a man get's excited because he is
looking at a sexy woman, his dick ge's hard and fat cuz he wants to
stick it in one of a woman's holes. This is called fucking. When you are
older maybe I'll show you, but for now I'll just say men love fucking
women in their wet cunts, in their tight little asses and in their
sweet, round mouths. It is natural for men and women to enjoy each
other," he said as he massaged baby oil deep into my body.
It felt strange to have daddy touch me in places I had barely
touched myself. But he said everything in a normal, matter of fact tone,
and well--he was my daddy. I trusted him, I knew about bad words but I
had never heard most of these before. (Cunt, prick, slit? ) Nothing
daddy did hurt me, in fact it really kind of made me feel tingly and
warm. I had wondered about sex and was kind of glad daddy was being
honest with me.
Even if it made me feel kind of weird.
I did not know how to articulate back then but being naked in front of
daddy, having him play with my pussy, stick his pinkie in my ass and rub
my titties, embarassed me. I was shy about my body, daddy made me feel
like a desireable woman, when I knew that I was not. The conflicting,
confusing, embarassing emotions basically caused me to shut down
whenever daddy touched me like that. I did not participate, but I did
not scream for help.
Daddy rolled me over on my stomach and covered me in baby powder. He
straddled my body, and I could feel his hard cock pressing into my back.
His strong hands gripped and pulled on my flesh. He positioned my body
into an "X" and rubbed my arms, cupped my tits and ran his fingers
around the ouside of my pussy lips.
"Let's see how clean you are after the shower I gave you, he said as he
scooched down, spread my butt cheeks apart and began slowly licking my
This was different. This was more than uncomfortable. I was really
"Daddy no! please stop, don't do that it's wrong!" I found the courage
to say as I tried to crawl away from daddy's tougue as it slithered and
wiggled into my asshole.
He kept holding me down and licking me for several seconds before he
stoped. Then he slid next to me in the bed and pulled my naked body into
his arms and just held me.
"Shh it's ok baby, daddy loves you. You just lay right here. You are
such a beautiful, intelligent woman that I thought you were ready for
more. Most fathers don't start teaching their girls abou sex until after
their period and first real bra. I can see that you are not quite ready
to be a real woman yet. That's ok there is no rush. We'll take it slow,
you are in charge. Whenever we practice sex you can tell me if I'm going
too fast, or if you are uncomfortable. Susan I'm your daddy and I love
you. Now remember this is a private thing just between us. If your mom
found out she might use this as an excuse to keep us apart. If a judge
agreed that you are too young, then I would never see you again. Do you
understand?" he said as he held me snug and secure in his arms.
This was my daddy. He loved me and I loved him. The thought of never
seeing him again was terrifying. What had he really done to me anyway.
He kissed me(done that before) he saw me naked(done that), bathed
me(yup). I think the only thing that was new was that now I got to see
him naked too, I guess at the time I thought that was only fair. The ass
licking though...that was really gross. But at age 11 he was still my
"Deal dad but...no more sex stuff tonight ok?"
"Deal kiddo," he laughed as he tickled me the normal way and hugged me
tight to him. It felt good having my bare skin pressing into my strong
daddy, feeling his deep laughter bubbling up as he hugged and cupped me.
My pre teen sex life with daddy really did not change much over the next
2 years. I spent every wekend with him, and whenever mom went out of
town on business(sometimes a week or more at a time). I no longer slept
on the couch, I slept with daddy. Dady seemed to like me to sleep next
to him naked so usually I did. He liked showering with me so at least
once over the weekend we did. He often insisted on soaping me himself,
just to be sure I was clean...it felt a little weird but...I let him.
Sometimes though it was clear that he was just playing with my growing
tits and plump ass. sometimes his only goal seemed to be to make me wet.
I never let things get out of hand. I would always stop him. I never let
him make me cum, or put his mouth on me. It was a strange childhood but
I really did not mind at the time. If it had stopped there I could have
forgiven him. I swear to god if it had stopped there I would not hate
him so much today.
It did not stop there.
The phone rang in he middle of the night. Daddy was spooning me. His arm
was draped over my 32 c breasts, and my butt felt warm pressed snug
against his fat 7" cock.
Daddy answered the phone and soon was wide awake. He got out of bed and
asked a series of rapid fire questions to the person on the
other end. Then he hung up.
"Susan honey, wake up...Baby girl I've got some really bad news. Your
mom was in a car accident. That fucking lawyer she works for was driving
drunk on their way home from the airport. He flipped the car and they
ran into a tractor trailer. I'm sorry but she is dead."
Daddy and I stood there consoling each other for a long time.
A lot changed after my mom's death. She had been on a business trip, her
company had a $200,000 insurance policy on all employees. It paid double
if you were dismembered. (Mom neglected to change her policy when she
divorced so dad and I split $400,000 as her co-benificiaries. Her firm
was afraid we would sue because her boss(one of the Partners) was drunk
and caused the accident. They settled out of court diretly with daddy
for $1.7 million.
Dad could not believe his good luck. A woman he no longer loved left him
$200,000 plus his share of the house. He was the executor of the
settlement, and Ins money for me until I turned 21. I lived with him
every day now. He did not have to worry about my mother finding out.
I was 13 years old when my father started drugging and raping me in my
You have to understand that it took me several years to piece together
what he did to me. At the time all I knew was that some mornings I was
waking up fuzzy and groggy with a dry mouth. Whenever that happened
there was blood and what appeared to be mucus in my pussy and sometimes
my ass. I had to talk to someone. For me at that time in my life there
was nobody but daddy.
"Hi sweetie, wow you slept late. Hmm you look awful," he said as he felt
my head for a fever.
"Dad I feel terrible, I am so tired, and my head hurts and...dad there
is something wrong with my vagina--it's bleeding, and infected!"
"Susan are you sure it's not your period? he asked in conern.
I had been having my period for almost 6 months, it was not time, and it
had never been like this. My pussy felt like it was torn, ripped open.
And the thick mucus that was dripping and mixed with blood...?
"No dad this is definitely not my period."
"Ok honey, I think I know what this is(sigh!). Your mom and grandma both
had this. I'm sorry honey but you have a rare form of cervical cancer.
We'll have to get you to the hospital right away so the doctors can
begin the tests and start you on the treatment. The good news is it will
not kill you. We'll get through this together. I promise, he said as he
kissed me and hugged me tight.
I was terrified. I was 13 years old and I had cancer.
"What will the Dr. do to me? I want to know everything. Swear to tell me
the truth daddy," I demanded through bitter tears and a clenched voice.
Daddy clearly was uncomfortable discussing this. The same man who could
talk about pussy fucking and ass licking seemed unwilling to discuss
That scared me even more.
"(Sigh!) Ok honey , I'll tell you. You have a sereis of polyps and
leisions that form in the lining of your vagina. From time to time they
swell and rupture the skin. When they burst blood and puss come out. It
is important to get the area cleaned and medicated immediately. The Drs.
will stick a needle in your vagina and probe for these polyps. They will
scrape the lining and try to stick the needle in and extract the fluid
before it can rupture. Because this is a rare form of cancer several
Drs. will want to examine your vagina and take pictures of it, and probe
it for the medical journals. Ofen this cancer can spread to your ass as
well. The Drs. will stick a needle in you ass to extract the fluid, but
it is a much smaller area. The wil need to insert a tiny camera into
your anal canal to guide the needle. A nurse will hold your cheeks wide
open, while one Dr. inserts the camera, and another does the polyp
scrape. You will need to have this procedure done at least once a month.
In some cases the polyps can spread to your breasts and lead to breast
cancer. A thorough breast exam should be done at least once a week. I
know it sounds horrible but you will get used to it, and I promise I
will be there for you."
"Dad I can't do this. The thought of strangers taking pictures of my
pussy...of it being published?! A needle scraping my vagina, a camera in
my ass--oh dad isin't there anything else we can do? Please daddy,
Daddy thought about it for a long time as he held me.
"Well...we do have the medicine from your mom, I mean, well I guess I
could apply it to the area and search for polyps if you want. But Susan
you have to promise me you will come get me whenever one bursts, and if
it get's too bad you WILL go to the hospital, no arguments. Deal?"
I hugged and kised daddy hard, " thanks, dad, thank you so much, I love
"Ok baby take your clothes off and I will get the medicine, so we can
begin the exam.
Daddy was back in a few minutes with a tube of ointment and a polaroid
"Dad, oh no what's that for. You're not going to..."
"I'm soray Susan but I have to document everything. If your condition
worrsens the Drs. will need a complete record. I plan to buy a video
camerea and will record all of your exams. We must be thorough, we can't
afford modesty. If your treatment works though, no one will ever see
these except for me." Daddy smiled as he led me to the bed and
instructed me to sit down.
"Ok let's get started", he said as he slowly cupped and prodded my left
and then right breasts. He squeezed and pinched them both for several
minutes, as he probed for any evidence of cancerous polyps. He explained
that they often surfaced just below the nipple area , so he spent a
great deal of time circling and tugging on them, flicking them until
they got hard. He took several pictures. In one he instructed me to mash
my tits together, in another he had me pull them wide apart. In the last
one, after my nipples were long and hard he pulled on one and had me
pull on the other to see how much elaasticity remained, before he
snapped the picture.
"Does that hurt honey...No? good. Then the cancer has not spread to your
breasts yet. Now lay back on the bed and let me get a good look at your
I did as daddy asked and spread my legs wide for him. He produced a
flashlight and put his face right in my crotch so he could check me for
polyps. I could feel his hot breath on my pussy. He accidentally bumped
his nose into me several times. Slowly he peeled my pussy lips apart and
reached a finger inside me.
"Honey you are very dry and tight so I need to loosen you up before I
can proceed. The Dr. has a machine that would spread you open, I only
have my fingers. Try to relax."
For the next few minutes daddy slowly worked on my pussy. As I began to
loosen and drip he added another finger, and went deeper. He spent a
long time running his finger around the rim, and massaging my clit.
"Daddy, you have to stop! Something is happening. I feel so hot,
something is happening! Daddy!!" I shrieked as I had my first true
orgasm. I clamped my legs tight on my daddy's hand and came all over
him. I could see my juices running down his wrist. I was so humiliated.
Daddy's fingers kept moving inside me and soon I had a second orgasm.
"Shh don't worry, that's a good girl, cum for daddy. Your juices have
natural antibodies that will help the medicine work."
Daddy took several pictures of my vagina, all wet and glistening. Then
he got the medicine and slowly worked it into my pussy. The cool cream
was soothing and eased the pain I had been feeling since I woke up with
blood and puss this morning. The medicine was working!
"How does that feel baby," he asked with parental concern as he finished
massaging my cunt.
Let's see I had cum twice, my pussy no longer hurt, and I believed the
cancer treatment was working. As I look back on how easily my father
fooled me, how completely he deceived me I feel so angry. At him sure,
but also at my own stupidity. But then...how was I supposed to know my
daddy was an asshole. To me it was simple. I was hurt, and scared and
came to my daddy for help. When he was finished I felt better. Yes it
was an embarasing place for him to inspect but...he was my daddy, and he
"Thank you daddy I feel so much better."
For the next two years my father drugged me, raped me in my sleep, and
then treated me for it the next day. He gave me thorough exams, video
taped every inch of my pussy. In time the cancer spread to my breasts.
The were often extremely sore and had marks on them as if they had been
bit and squeezed for extended periods. Several months after my diagnosis
I developed cancerous polyps in my rectum. These were extremley painful
and bloody. My father did not rape me every day. No he was too smart
for that. I still don't know what drug he used on me, but it must have
been pretty strong. I think he was afraid I would become addicted to it,
or worse--develop a resistance to it's affect. By spacing out his rapes,
I never did. I don't know exactly how many times he raped me, but I had
a "Polyp burst" at least once a week for over 2 year. By my count that's
easily over 100 rapes.
Some weeks I had multiple ruptures.
For 2 years my father convinced me I had cancer. For 2 years he put his
filthy hands in me and molested my pussy and raped my ass--while I
thanked him for helping me. He looked me in the eye and I swear I could
see the love and concern that he had for me. He appeared to be the
perfect father. Some nights we'd lie in bed naked, and just talk. I
could share my fears and hopes and dreams with him, and he always had
time for me, always seemed interested. I used to wonder why daddy never
remarried, never even dated. I asked him once.
"You are all the woman I need sweethart. Daddy would never bring an
outsider in here to boss you around."
Daddy was real big on privacy and "Outsiders". I guess that's why I had
no real close friends and did not date. I was 15 years old(almost 16),
and it was just me and daddy.
For 2 years my daddy committed some of the most horrible crimes
And then it got worse.
You see I was 15 yrs old when I got pregnant.
Oh I did not believe it at first. I mean how could I be pregnant, I had
never been on a date much less had sex with a boy. I ignored it when I
missed my period. I told myself that the cancer might somehow be
interfering. It was right before I discovered the truth that my dad
purchased a computer. The Internet was still new, but he paid for the
Compuserve service. I was allowed to use it too, and it was not long
before I discovered the History feature. I visited all the sites my dad
bookmarked. Suprise suprise, it was all porn. Story after story about
fathers making love to their daughters. Pictures of young girls, spread
and submissive, getting their pussys fucked by older men. Some sites
catered to Incest, but there were Rape sites as well. This was the first
time I considered the idea of a father raping his daughter. It bothered
me. Why would daddy like such disgusting web sites? I became
One day I checked Daddy's room and found his magazine collection. It was
obscene. This was not Playboy or even Hustler. These were rape
pictures. They were amateur stuff. The girls were spread and ofren tied,
into the most debasing poses. Their eyes were dull and lifeless. On the
Top shelf of daddy's closet there was a box of magazines. As I looked
through these, I ran into a suprise that changed my life.
I was the centerfold.
Pictures of my exams with daddy were in each of the magazines. From
"Girl Toy", to "Young-sluts", to "Daddy's Little Slut", and many more; I
was naked, spread wide and dripping cum. I was different from most of
the other girls because I was usually alert, trusting, sometimes even
smiling in my pictures. You see I did not know I was being raped and
molested. I thought I was gettting an exam, that made me feel good. I
did not know perverts all over America would be jerking off to me, I
thought only my dad or maybe a Dr. would see my pictures.
I felt so cheap, so dirty. I could not bear to look at daddy over the
next couple of days. I was so angry at him. The next time a polyp burst
I could not stand the thought of him taking pictures of me, or letting
him put his fucking hands inside of me.
So I did not tell him.
Of course daddy knew something was wrong. He had after all brutally
raped my ass and drugged me. When I did not come to him like a stupid
little girl for treatment, he came to me.
"How are you feeling today Susan, how is your Cancer,"he asked while
stroking my tits in preperation for an exam.
"Fine," I said as I pulled away from him.
For the next 4 days Daddy raped me harder than he ever had before. I was
shitting blood, my tits had obvious bite marks, and my pussy was full of
puss(sperm). I was now a week overdue for my period FOR THE SECOND
You want to know how stupid I was? I just thought my Cancer had gotten
worse. I sill did not suspect my dad of raping me. I mean how could he,
I would never sleep through something like that. I knew he was sick,
that he was selling my exam pictures. I figured he was probably enjoying
playing in my pussy, when he examined me--but let's be honest my daddy
had been washing my cunt with his bare hands since I was 11 years old. I
had been sleeping naked with his hard dick pressed againt me every night
since I was 13.
Still I felt betrayed by him selling my cancer pictures. I began wearing
a nightgown and panties to bed. I refused to let him bathe me, saying I
was too old for that now.
And I stopped letting him examine me.
For four nights in a row he brutally raped me in my sleep. Each morning
he would ask me how I was and pretend that he loved me. Each morning I
would pretend nothing was wrong as I lay bleeding in a half drugged
I thought I was dying. On the 5th morning I asked to go to the hospital.
Daddy told me to go shower and he would drive me in right away. When I
washed the blood and sperm out of me and stepped out of the shower daddy
was standing there naked. His cock was bobbing up and down and he was
staring at my 34 C tits, fat ass, and nearly hairles cunt.
He walked over to me and began to kiss me hard, powerfully. Now daddy
had kissed me before, on the lips even. But this kiss was different it
went on and on. He backed me up against the glass door and his cock was
bumping into my hip. his hands were on my breasts, caressing them,
tugging on me. At first I kissed him back the way I always did, to
satisfy him, to get him to leave me alone. But this time he would not be
satisfied. This time he demanded more from me. Daddy lowered his head to
my breast and licked, and sucked and nibbled on them--hard.
I had enough.
"Daddy stop, let me go that's enough, I cried as I tried to push him
He stopped for a moment. Then he looked me in the eye and said," You
know don't you. You know that I have been fucking you don't you, you
little slut. Well that was nothing. I'm tired of fucking you while you
sleep. I want to hear you beg, scream plead for mercy. I want to see
your titties shake as you try to get away. I want to see the look of
fear and resignation in your eyes when you realize that you belong to
me; that I can do anything I want to your body, and there is NOTHING you
can do to stop me. Come on Susan it's time to get raped by daddy," he
laughed as he pulled and jerked me down the hallway to his bedroom and
threw me on the bed. I tried to kick him in his dick but he must have
been expecting it. He caught my leg and twisted me onto my stomach.
"No matter how many times I fuck your wet little pussy, I can't help
wanting to fuck your tight little ass. Ass, pussy, pussy,ass. I can
never decide which to fuck first. I was going to be tender with you and
fuck your cunt nice and slow for our first real time together--but since
your tried to kick me, I guess we'll do this the hard way."
My father started smacking me on my bottom with hard, loud cracks.
"I(Smack) own(whack) this beautiful,round little (thwack) ass! I am
going to fuck it(pound) suck it, lick it and stick it," he declared as
he beat my ass. I was screaming and crying so hard I lost count but I
assume he hit me 16 times cause at the end he said,"here is one to grow
Tears blinded my eyes, snot was dripping from my nose, and I could not
catch my breath. But I still tried to get away. I managed to throw
myself off the bed and crawl to the door.
Daddy caught me.
He pressed his weight down behind me kicked my legs apart and began
forcing his way inside my dry ass. I felt the pressure build and
clenched my cheeks together as hard as I could. Even though he had raped
my ass many times before, I had always been asleep, passive. Now I was
awake, fighting him, dry and clenched. I might have been able to keep
him out if he had not pounded me on the back.
The air rushed out of me and he slammed his fat cock home. My half
healed ass scabs re-opened and I was soon slick with blood and pre-cum.
Daddy reached around and played with my tits, as he fucked me on the
floor of his bedroom. It went on and on. I have no idea how long. He
took his time and savored every moment. He would pound me, ram himself
deep inside of me, and then rest there. I could feel his hot breath and
sweat on my back. He reached down and began finger fucking my pussy. It
was cruel and brutal. Apparently fucking me when I was awake was much
more satisfying. He did not allow himself to cum while I was on the
"Get up Susan" I want to taste you now. I am going to lick your sweet,
fresh pussy. You are going to whimper and moan and cum like the hot
little whore we both know you are. I am going to make you beg your daddy
to fuck you. You will spread your tasty snatch and offer yourself to me.
I am raping you now, but soon we will be making love. Daddy knows your
body so well. He still loves you. You are my woman. Submit to me. Give
daddy your pussy. You don't have a choice."
Daddy licked me for a long time. He was too strong for me to stop him
from spreading my legs and burying his face in my snatch. He sniffed,
and licked and drooled in my pussy for so long. He kept sucking and
kissing my clit. At first I was scared I would cum, that I would give
him the satisfaction of humiliating me. But as daddy continued raping me
with his mouth, I realized that I was to angry(and scared) to cum. How
dare he put that filthy mouth on me. His grunts and slobbers disgusted
me. I would never cum for my rapist,
I would never cum for a man I hated.
Even if he was my daddy.
He was pretty angry at my defiance. I was supposed to be a helpless
defenseless, submissive little girl. Daddy never expected or prepared
for resistance. He was completely suprised when I grabbed the head
between my legs and scratched him down the side of his face. He roared
in pain ad disbelief.
"You scratched me you filthy bitch, you scratched your own father!
You'll pay for that."
He ripped my legs open and positioned his dick at my entrance. He
laughed as he slid into me. He went slow and made me feel every inch.
Deeper, and deeper until he reached the bottom of my young cunt.
And then he stopped.
He did not fuck me right away. Instead he taunted me, invited me to try
and escape. He suggested that if I begged hard enough he might let me
go. At first I said nothing, I refused to give him the satisfction
but...what if it was true. Some people say rape is just about power.
What if I gave him somethng, anything to get him not to fuck me.
I had to try.
"Daddy, I'm sorry for scratching you. I still love you, please don't
hurt me any more. Please daddy don't rape me again. You are my daddy
this is wrong. I'll do anything."
Daddy bounced around a little and made tiny thrusts forward. his fingers
kept playing with my tits and clit.
"Good baby, but not good enough. I want to hear you beg me to fuck you.
Like you are a slut who needs her daddy's fat cock to rip her apart. I
want to hear you say the words. Like you are desperate for it. Then
maybe it will be enough. Do it Susan, beg daddy like the cock whore you
are. Do a good enough job and this is all over., he promised as his dick
twitched and jerked inside me. He pulled out and slammed in again and
I did not know what to do. I knew I could not get him off of me. I knew
his dick was just about ready to rape me. I wanted to believe him. This
was my only chance, as slim as it was what else could I do.
"Daddy I need your cock, I've always wanted it. I want to lick it and
suck it all night. I love your cock daddy. The way you press it into me
while I sleep. I bet it tasts so good daddy, won't you let me taste it?
My ass is all itchy, it misses you daddy. I can see now I was wrong to
resist. I am your woman dad. You can do anything you want to me. You own
me. I'm just a dirty, filthy cock loving slut who needs her daddy to
rape her. Thank you for raping me all these years. You are so good to
me. I love you dad. Don't wait any more fuck me daddy, fuck me right
now! I need it now! Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy fuck your little girl's
I was crying in desperation and frustration. In my heart I knew what was
about to happen. I tried to convince myself that he might have mercy on
me, after all I had done everything he asked. Maybe he would keep his
word and let me go.
Daddy slowed things down and just held me for a few minutes. He began to
kiss me softly, tenderley. He kept whispering my name and telling me how
much he loved me. He was making soft shushing noises as he played in my
ass and rubbed my clit.
"You have to kiss me back Susan, that's it stick out your tounge so I
can suck it for you...mmm so good baby. See how nice daddy can make you
feel? I told you I would not fuck you, or cum inside of you. You've been
such a good little girl for daddy. Daddy needs you to bounce up and down
on his cock a litte. That's right, oh yeah, that's nice. Now a little
harder, uh, harder! Yeah, now hold it. Keep kissing me, press those tits
into me. Oh god you are such a fucking slut, such a good girl."
I had been trying not to rest my full weight on daddy's cock, to bounce
just a little bit. But my knees were getting tired. As I felt my self
sinking down on the meat inside of me, I started getting wet. Daddy had
been playing with my clit for over 10 minutes--I could not help it. I
could smell my juices now. I could hear them squishing and sloshing as I
rode on daddy's fat cock. He was mashing and kneading my ass meat in his
hands while he cupped me, while he fucked me. Every once in a while he
stopped sucking my tounge and would concentrate on a nipple, on
smelling, and sniffing my tits.
Daddy still was not really fucking me. Not ripping into me like we both
knew he wanted. He was making me ride him. Every time I sank down on him
he held me in place for a few seconds. I could feel him fill me
completely. I could feel him pulse and throb, and twitch in time to the
beating of my clit. I began to hold the slightest hope that he would not
hurt me, that he would not cum inside of me.
I forgot one thing: My daddy is an asshole.
"I knew it! I knew you would enjoy this, that you needed this. Your hot
little body has been begging for my cock for years. Well you are going
to get it, no more of your teasing. Can you feel daddy's cock Susan? Do
you know how hard I'm going to fuck you? Oh god you are sooo fucking
tight. I, uh, own uh, this, uh cunt!"
I just closed my eyes and tried to endure it. But the tears kept rolling
down my face. I did not beg him not rape me any more, I knew it would
not help. I just let him fuck me, and suck me, and lick me and stick me
over, and over again. He laid me down in the missionary position and
began powerfucking me. My tits were shaking wildly. My pussy was being
ripped and abused as he pounded me. I had to make one final attempt.
"You promised dad, you promised not to do this. Please don't cum inside
of me. Ok, I knew you were going to fuck me, but you don't have to cum
inside of me. Pleease, stop take it out, take it ou..NO!!!!" I shrieked
as he spurted his cum inside me. It felt like piss to me and looked like
snot. Finally daddy rolled off of me. I thought it was over.
I was wrong.
Even though he had cum inside me that was not enough for him. He had
raped my ass, sucked my pussy, and fucked my cunt..but he had missed my
mouth. As I laid there sobbing in the fetal position daddy straddled my
face and said,"open up slut you're not through yet," as he forced my
mouth open and shoved his slimy prick inside of me. As he raped my mouth
with his fat cock I gagged on him and could taste my own juices and
blood. I was trying not to black out, and did not even plan to resist
Then daddy made a mistake.
"That's right bitch get me nice and hard so I can finish fucking your
sweet ass. I'll never get enough, I will rape you forarrrggh!!! You bit
me, you fuck!!!!, you bit my dickshiiit!!"
Daddy screamed in fear like a little sissy bitch. Blood was dripping
freely from his cock. While her grabbed a towel, I ran to the kitchen
got a butcher's knife and locked myself in my room.
It was several hours later when he knocked on the door. "Susan honey we
need to talk."
"Stay away from me, I'm calling the police."
"I don't think that's such a good idea. If you do that. I'll make sure
everyone sees your home movies and naked pictures. I'll spread them all
over town. You are not even 16 yet, so you will have to live in a foster
home for the next 2 years. If a Dr. examines your blood he will find
that you are a long time drug user, and I'll say that you attacked me.
You will have to get up on that stand and tell the whole world how
stupid you were, how I fooled you and raped you for years. Who is going
to believe that you did not know it was wrong to sleep naked in my bed,
to let me wash your cunt, and soap your fat little titties? What jury is
going to believe you were so innocent that you thought it was ok for
daddy to videotape your pussy, and give you breast exams? Really Susan
come on. Did you know I can pass a lie detector test? I ve done it
before. No Susan, I don't think you really want to call the police, he
said as he laughed at me through the door.
"I hate you, I will never forgive you. I can't stand to be around you. I
never want to see you again, " I screamed in rage at his betrayal.
"(sigh) I can see that now. I'm sorry honey I know I let things get out
of hand. I really did plan to seduce you at first but...well you were
just so cute I could not resist. Here is what I suggest. You will be 16
in a couple of months. With a parent's permission you can be declared an
emancipated minor. I will set you up in your own apt and give you a
healthy allowance. As the Executor of your estate, at my discretion I
can increase your access to your money or deny it until you turn 21. In
this state a rape must be reported in 5 years or it cannot be
prosecuted. When you turn 21 we'll be free of each other for good, if
that' what you want. I hope you'll give your dad a second chance. We are
all we have. I promise no more sex stuff unless you ask for it. You are
in control. Do we have a deal?"
I moved out of my father's house in 3 months and got my own apt. I
finished high school, got good grades and went to college. After being
brutally raped and molested for years you might think I would be turned
off from sex.
In a way I was.
I would never let a man control me, dominate me. My body belonged to
me. Missionary sex terrified me. Feeling a man on top of me, was too
submissive. The idea of a penis in my vagina was repugnant. I think I
will always see my father's snotty cum-piss. I will always think of his
fucking hands probing me, examining my pussy.
I will always think of the sister or brother that I aborted(murdered?).
No matter how badly I wish it were not true, I have been having sexual
feelings since I was 11 years old. Since daddy used to tickle my tits
and washed my pussy with hs hands. Hot, nasty sex is a part of me. I
like it, I want it, I need it.
I just don't need it from my daddy.
When I let a man fuck my ass I don't have to look at him. He can't get
me pregnant. No matter how degrading some people think anal sex is,
nothing gives a man more control, more power to change your life, than
missionary pussy sex.
When I sucked a cock I always know in the back of my mind that I can
bite it, that I can clamp down on it and grind his dick up if he gets
too rough. Even though I have been raped, drugged, molested, videotaped
and abused in some ways I am still a virgin. I mean I have never given
myself to a man willingly, completely. No one has ever been given my
pussy, not to fondle, not to suck, and certainly not to fuck. I thought
that I would never want to.
I thought I could never let somebody have me like that.
As I sat next to Ron on the couch in his apt. I knew that hours had
passed. For most of my story I had not looked at him, I could not meet
his eyes. I could not stand to see pity or disgust, or worse lust in
him. I looked at him now, and his face was unreadable. Somehow I found
the courge to say, "I never thought I would find someone that I could
trust eough, love eough to give my virginity to. Then I found you."
I felt myself start to shiver as I looked at him, as I waited for his
response. He had not said a word as I told my story. As I searched his
face, I saw the cool, unreadable mask that he had plastered on, begin to
crack. Soon he was crying sobbing like a baby. It was...sweet,
predictable I suppose, but I really did not want to console anybody
right now. I did not want pity, even from the man I loved.
"(Sigh) he is a kind, sweet, sexy little nerd and I love him. I guess I
can put up with it," I thought to myself and smiled, and held him.
Finally he stopped sobbing and let go of me. He looked at me and a
coldness descended on his eyes. "Your father deserves to die for what he
did. I am going to kill him."
I could not believe what I was hearing, this was insane. I did not
anticipate Ron's reaction.
It got worse.
"No, killing him is not enough. He needs to be beaten, broken, scared
for his life. He needs to be violated and betrayed like you were. I am
going to rape your father...and I want you to help. When he is broken,
raped, crying on the floor like a weak little sissy bitch, begging his
baby girl for mercy--then I will spit in his face, piss on him and pull
I had to stop this, I had to stop this right now. Ron had lost his mind.
He was seething. This was not braggadoccio or macho male shit. He was
serious. An evil was settling over him. No, that's not quite right. This
was more like righteous indignation, it was almost biblical. The kind of
rage that would allow you to stone a person, or let fire come down from
heaven and consume him. There was no mercy in it, no doubt, or desire to
hold off. It was zealous. Ron was looking forward to executing his
"Ron, I know you care, I know you are doing this for me but...it is not
necessary. I have gotten past this. I don't want to lose you. You'll be
arrested and I'll be alone again. My father is an asshole, he is not
worth going to jail over. Please don't do this."
Ron gave me a sad smile and said," I love you Susan, you are worth
this. No matter what you say you are NOT over what your father did to
you. I am going to hear him say that he is sorry for what he did. I want
to taste his tears, I want to see him crawl to you naked and kiss your
feet. But...I don't intend to go to jail. I'm in no hurry. We have
plenty of time to plan his murder. Nobody knows what he did to you. You
never reported it. You have not even seen the man in 3 years. We live
100 miles away. We can beat him, rape him, kill him and be back on
campus before anyone knows we were gone. Plus we can alibi each other.
Let's wait until after you are 21. Why would a multi millionaire kill
her kind, sweet daddy. The police won't even suspect us. We'll get rid
of all his videotapes, magazines, pictures and computer files. I love
you baby, and I want to do this for us. I will beat him. I will rape
him, I have to...but if you insist, if you really insist I won't kill
him, I'll just castrate the fucker." I looked into the eyes of the man I
loved and kissed him deeply. He pulled me up into his lap and I felt him
get hard beneath me. Then he bega ntickling me and kissing my neck. It
felt so warm, so familiar so right. I had 2 years to talk him out of
killing my father. I had to admit it was a nice fantasy. The idea of
watching Ron rape him, hearing him beg ME for help, maybe fucking saying
he was sorry just one time--well it did make me feel pretty damn good.
Maybe it was because Ron was touching my cunt through my jeans, but I
started becoming aroused at the idea of raping daddy. I could fuck him
with a dildo until HE bled. I could not help chuckling at the image of
my strong daddy naked with a dildo in his butt saying,"Please Susan,
help me, don't rape me, I'm your daddy, don't castrate me!"
Maybe I would feel sorry for him.
Maybe we would just scare the shit out of him. Maybe we would not touch
him at all.
Heh, then again...maybe we would.
After all, my daddy is an asshole.
As I was writing this story I kept looking for the point where I would
say "Jaz come on you twisted prick, this is just too ridiculous." I'm
not sure if it is a commentary on me or the society in which we live
that I never reached that point. Help me out, where did I cross the
line. I mean we know incest happens every day all over America. It seems
to me that a horny, single father would be more likely to get away with
prolonged incest than a married one. It seems to me that it would build
from inappropriate touching and fondling before it got to true sex. Mybe
a grope and a grab while she was sleeping. Ok, so that is not too
Hmm how about the drugged sex? Well a father would certainly have plenty
of opportunities to slip a drug into his daughter's food or drink, to
make sure she did not wake up during sex.
So no problem there.
Really it came down to, how do you cover up the pain of the rape, the
blood, and cum, and bruising.? Why wouldn't she go to the Dr? Then it
hit me, little kids(and big ones too) hate the Dr. They are scared of
needles. The first (and second, and third...)time a Dr. grabbed my balls
and told me to cough I almost hit him. I am not old enough to have had a
full prostate/rectal exam but it is coming up in a few years.
Lord help me.
My point is if a Dr. came at me with a needle, and said he was going to
stick it in my dick, one of us would probably have to die.
In a previous story(Rape/ Betrayal #6 It's a wonderful life") I explored
the idea of a father lying to his daughter to get sex. I decided to
revisit this concept. Be honest with yourself. At age 13 what kind of
lies could your parents get away with. Let's face it these are the same
mother fuckers who convinced us there was a jolly fat man in a red suit
that flew all over the world on reindeer and gave out presents to all
good boys and girls. For many American kids this is the first lie we
remember. They had us writing letters, and going to malls and sitting in
some old winos lap, laying out milk and cookies, hanging
stockings...whatever other sick shit they could think up. Somwhere in
there was this baby who came from a woman who had never had sex, he
could walk on water and had all kinds of other super powers. I remember
asking my dad, looking him right in the eye if there was a Santa Claus.
"Of course there is Jaz, and a Baby Jesus and an invisible god, and an
Easter bunny and a man in the moon, it's all true you dumb fucker" he
said(or words to that effect) with a paternal chuckle and a pat on the
Sooner or later we find out that we have been betrayed, that we have
been lied to. I had a friend in school who was 15 and still believed in
Santa. It was cerepy. See he just KNEW his dad would never, ever lie to
him. There's an old saying "fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice
shame on me." My parents burned their freebie when I was 6 years old. Oh
I loved them, and trusted them for the most part but...I always knew in
the back of my mind that if it suited them they MIGHT lie to me,
convincingly--to my face.
So come on, be honest. When you were a kid did your parents lie to you?
Did they tell you about doggie(kitty, goldfish, and hamster)heaven?
If they had wanted to fool you into beliving you had cancer could they
have done it? C'mon you know the answer.
On that comforting note, good night, sleep tight and don't let your
fucking parents bite.
There, now I can rest easy.
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