My Girls and Me, Part 3 – Taking it Slow
Told in present tense this part is actually near to a year ago this month. Please be forgiving if I slip into past tense as I'm trying to remember as best I can. It should be as clear as day and burned in my thoughts and thankfully Alex will read through and remind and correct any things I have written down wrong or forgotten.
The warmth from Alex's bedroom wafts over my face as I stand there looking at her illuminated nude body. Her back to me, I run my eyes from her head to toes and they linger shortly as I smile in wonder of her beautiful bottom. Her thighs just beginning to form making her look slightly younger than her thirteen years of age. Alex is a late developer and still at that tender age in her first teen year still had a flat chest and yet to have her first period. She takes after my mother and I know her chest will be much smaller than mine. At her age I was already a ‘d' cup and finding allot of ridicule and taunts at school. Especially from the popular girls with what to them were their perfectly small firm titties. I was thankful that Alex would probably not have to endure such things, but truth be known teenage girls will always find even the slightest defect to bully a not so popular girl. As far as I know Alex is well liked and does not have such troubles. She has plenty of friends who still sleepover some weekends and I'm glad she has so many except for the cost of filling the fridge with snacks and drinks on those days.
My eyes look around her room as my motherly duties enter my thoughts just to see how tidy it is and it isn't of course. Clothes strewn all over the floor among other things and I can smell that lovely musty smell from the well worn jeans, panties and other garments mixed with her cheap perfume scents. Small amounts of make up and hair products adorn her dressing table and the mirror that reflects her sleeping quietly. Her desk on the left of the door which still has her half finished homework and her pencil case is empty with pens and pencils all over and the few that have rolled onto the floor. Her laptop is still on and the liquid crystal display has an illuminated picture of the most beautiful girl I know called Billie Piper. Some one she fancies I wonder and after the revelation of me and her kissing and her telling me she wants to make love to me I'm pretty sure she does. Her bed is directly in front of me and the bedside table has a picture of herself me and Charlie sitting facing the bed in a small silver frame. Her bedside lamp is not so bright and seems to almost illuminate her shape giving a hazy aura over her skin.
The thick curtains are shut not letting the street lights intrude. Her wall is painted apple green and unlike most younger girls it is not plastered with pictures of pop stars or any other celebrities but is quite bare. With only another mirror over the bed that has no use but to make the room looks bigger and opposite above her desk another large very focused picture of Billie Piper and Doctor Who, David Tennant.
I close the door behind me and inhale the aromas and warm air letting it envelope my body as I know what I am about to do is going to be wonderful, and I hope to god that Alex will not back out. After all she did instigate it and had said how much she wanted me. I wanted her to and to see her naked body lying in front of me on top of her blue bedspread made me sure that I wanted to love her even more. Make love to her. Touch every part of her body. Make her inner body fill with euphoria and tingle and convulse with orgasms only a mother can give to her daughter.
I step out of my slippers and as I place my bare feet on the ground I feel the softness of her carpet on the soles of my feet. I kick away one of her ‘t' shirts from in front of me as I take another step closer. I can feel the butterflies building up in my stomach and the scariest feeling runs through my veins. I guess I wan to stop but cannot. We have declared our sexual desire and love for one another and I certainly have wanted my daughter for such a long time. I'm so close I can't go back now. I feel terrified that almost in a dream state I wonder if Alex did really kiss me and tell me everything I wanted to hear. Am I just dreaming of the perfect love. Had my mind imagined it all. Had I conjured up all she said and all the emotions. All the things I so desired. Had they all welled up so much that my brain told me that Alex wanted me and wanted to be closer than just masturbating together. For a second I imagined even our special times together could have been imagined, but as I looked upon Alex and the aroma of her room reminds my memory that these things were real. Now a little reassured I become to know that we had kissed. Alex had said she wanted to touch me and make me come and be lovers. Mother and daughter lovers.
I freeze as Alex stirs and in one slow movement she rolls onto her back exposing her delicious body to me. I look to her eyes and they are still shut as I hear her intake a large breath and then exhale. Her naked body I have seen hundred or thousands of times, but now she seems so much more beautiful. I have caressed her so many times. Never with sexual desire toward her. Only with a mothers pure love for a child. As I still do with Charlie. Oh yes Charlie. My sweet angel Charlie. This amazing new thing between Alex and I will have to be hidden from her. Our new love cannot be seen by her. She is to young and innocent to comprehend such an incestuous love between us. Oh god I think for a moment about it. Scared if she were catch us and tell someone. What I would loose. Both of them and the consequences I would face would be bearable, but not loosing my babies. I reconsider Alex and close my eyes to think of such a thing, but my libido and desire for Alex is so strong I consider it for only a second.
Opening my eyes I look upon my teenage goddess. Her skin her legs so long and perfect. The crowning glory of her bald vagina I have seen her manipulate. That first time three years ago when she found her clitoris which she now rubs so vigorously and to see her first orgasm was so beautiful and made me feel proud. Now when her orgasm arrives and rips though her making her breath and body shudder a finger slips inside her cunny and she moans with such sweet delight. Her flat stomach and cute belly button and up to the small undulation of her rib cage between her undeveloped breasts and those sweet succulent tiny nipples. Still light only the tiniest bit darker than her skin but so small and sweet. Soft to the touch and the tiny tips that will harden in my mouth when I get to tease and kiss them. And finally her beautiful face. The first thing anyone notices and admires. Her beautiful brown eyes. Her upturned button nose. Her cascading long brown hair that lays on the bed. Her smile so alluring and bright and as I gaze down upon her tired sleepy face with her mouth slightly open then I remember our kiss.
My hands reach for the belt of my dressing gown and it drapes open. The gown still damp from the bath Charlie and I have just had and where I wrapped her up inside to dry her and I feel the warm air which is cold against my moist skin. In seconds it dries and warms me. I slip the gown off my shoulders and I shudder slightly as the fluffy material runs down my back and falls in a heap to the floor. I cup my large sagging breasts and run my fingers over my hardened nipples. I remember my girls sucking on them as infants and the near orgasms I had while the had there fill of my milk. The times I had to put them in their cot and I would lay on my bed a finish myself off. Many a time my ex husband would suck on them and he knew I would be feeling so turned on after a breast feed and even though I would not now, our lovemaking after felt good and so intense that I very infrequently desire a cock inside me. I make do with my treasure trove of dildo's now, but still is nothing compared to a nice warm big dick pumping inside me. I would love to have a dick to fuck me but in a perfect world could do without the useless bit of skin around one called a man. I'm not saying I'd like a lady boy. Far from it. I still like men, but not sexually anymore. My desire for men is non existent. Like young girls I also have a fascination for prepubescent young boys. Young boys from about four to nine years old turn me on and although they do not have the equipment to satisfy me I could make do with just satisfying their curiosity sucking on their tiny erect penis's.
Standing here naked I feel my body and mind amass with indescribable emotions. Dread, fear, almost sickening but also desire, lust and love. I kneel down beside her bed and my hand slowly moves toward her. It shakes almost willing itself to pull away, but I control it. Almost touching her upper arm I feel the tiny hairs on her come to life and for some reason I'm so scared I will wake her. Why? This is what I want. My baby girl to awaken and show me her love so we can share ourselves together. My finger hover on the tips of the hairs and I will my hand down. It rests so softly upon her arm and her body is warm to the touch. My hand darts back as Alex stirs. I look to her eyes and I see her iris's below her lids moving. Then her eyes begin to open. She yawns and looks as if she's been asleep for days but it's only been about two hours.
As her focus begins to clear rather than be shocked to see me she just smiles and says.
Yes sweetie. I'm here.” I reply and bend forward and kiss her lips.
Alex still regaining consciousness realizes I am naked.
“Mam are we gonna…”
I put a finger to her lips.
“Yes baby. I thought we could just lay together for a bit. Maybe we could play a little with ourselves and… “
Alex pulls my finger away.
“But mam. I thought we were gonna you know….. do it together. Ya know come like and I wanna make you come?”
“Yes baby I know, but Mummy's a little scared and I want to take it a slow. Just till I feel a bit more comfortable. Ok baby?”
Alex smiles and whispers “Ok mam”
I bend forward and our tongues touch mid air and then our lips meet. Alex places an arm to the back of my head and I rest a hand on her left arm over her warm flat chest.
I Raise a leg onto the bed and with a little grunt of air braking the kiss and a push I find my body against hers. Skin to skin the pulse of electricity that hits me is undeniably sensational. Her right arms move from under me pulling my sagging breasts upward and I pull back to let her arm free as it joins her left behind my head. Then I begin another kiss. Like earlier that evening we kissed for an age still each of us (well I know I was) to scared to really touch more intimately. I pull away and lick the saliva from her mouth and taste her again. Our eyes stair into one another's and I can feel ‘IT'. It is so strong it burrows into my soul. Her eyes pour love into me and it wells up inside and seeps thorough every pour in my body. I feel it all through me and it is so overwhelming. I have been in love only once before and I can feel those intense emotions again. But this is so much more. Giddiness, scared and just undeniable affection for someone and a host of emotions are what I felt for my first love. This was so much more. My daughter had me caught mid heaven and hell. Just looking into her eyes could have made me faint. Tears welled up in my eyes and as I blinked two drops fell onto her face.
“Mummy what's wrong?” Alex whispered.
I almost didn't answer her. “Ohhh baby nothings wrong. I'm just…just so very happy”
Alex smiled and said. “Ya mean with me and you?”
“Yes baby..with me and you”
‘Me and you' those words felt so good to me. I felt them resonate inside me. What they meant to me My baby girl and me. Mother and child. Mummy and daughter. Love between me and my precious girl, now confirmed to the next level I new we would be lovers for ever.
Yes lovers. Us two together and God willing my other baby, Charlie. Women had come and gone and my heart had been broken. Alex and possibly Charlie would fall in love with others, but I knew for this moment Alex loved me, wanted me with all her heart would be with me till I the day I die. I could have died there and then and my whole existence would have been worth the look from her eyes confirming her undeniable love for me. If I died I would have been the happiest mother in the whole universe.
I trace the trail of my tear down her cheek with the biggest smile I think I've ever had and kiss her lips as a smile appears upon her face. I could have stared into her beautiful eyes for eternity and never get tired of them looking back at me. When ever my girls are away the image of Alex's shiny brown eyes and Charlie's big baby blue eyes looking at me comforts me so much. I heart misses them and I cannot wait to see them. If away for the weekend or just a few hours in town I will close my eyes and imagine them here with me. When they return I give them a big hug and kiss and am heart is content again.
I kiss Alex's chin and then between her collar bones dabbing my tongue and wetting her skin. Her head leans forward scrunching her neck and my eyes look up every other second to her eyes as I leave a trail of saliva down between her flat bare chest. Alex is still smiling as my lips and tongue move up and side ways toward her left nipple. The butterflies in my stomach are still making me feel queasy and all intentions of telling Alex we should play with ourselves had gone. Alex lay completely still as if frozen as I neared the centre of her breast. Then I opened my mouth and enveloped her tiny areola. Alex gasped as my tongue fell upon her bud and I could feel it harden. On the tip of my warm soft molesting tongue the tiny nipple felt larger than it was as it was only the size of a tiny pea. I moaned as I sucked gently on it and I felt Alex shudder slightly. I was the first person to kiss her nipple and was proud to be. For most the first time is always meant to be special. Especially for a female. Boys on the other hand can't wait to get laid and there are some girls too. Some wait for marriage. Some for the right person and for Alex I guess I was the right person for her. Her left hand caressed my head as her right hander ran her fingers through my hair. I moved to her right nipple and loved it with the same conviction as the other which was already hard. I lovingly sucked and caressed each nipple and it was so beautiful to feel her chest raise up and down as her breathing quickened and soft tiny moans left her mouth.. I could not help but leave her beautiful smooth flat chest and raise above her face and slip my tongue into her mouth and kiss her with all the love I could muster. Lust between us did not seem to enter here as all I could feel was her love and of course the butterflies and fear I had for loving my daughter way across the boundaries of what I knew was wrong.
Alex ran her left hand down my spine and stretched trying to reach the top of my buttocks but could not quite reach. As her fingers traced back up my side she found my right breast sagging between us and with somewhat expertise cupped her hand under it and raised my breast onto her chest. I knew she wanted it and I moved up a little to let her suckle me. I put a hand behind her head as her mouth took it in and when I felt her tongue swirl around my long nipple I moaned out loud.
“ Oh baby..oh baby Mummy loves you sooo so much.”
I was in complete heaven. My eldest daughter who had suckled me till she was four was now again devouring my nipple. It was almost as if she remembered how to suck the milk again but I could feel her teeth running up and down my nipple. It began to hurt a little and it really turned me on.
“Oh sweetheart bite Mummy's nipple baby bite a little harder” I asked her.
Alex did not refuse or question my request and began to bite a little harder sending my arousal into overdrive. I moaned louder and louder and even though Alex must have known I felt the pain she didn't stop.
I know Alex and Charlie had heard me making love to a woman before and must have heard me moaning so this was not new to her and knew I was enjoying what she was doing. Alex new what lesbians did in bed and had asked about the sounds she had heard and I did reassure her it was pure pleasure and joy. Telling her even if it did sound as if we were moaning in pain we were enjoying ourselves. I knew in a short while she would know what I meant as I would show her the intense joys of making love and she would experience the same erotic stimulants I have for many years.
It seemed Alex could not get enough of my nipples continuously changing from left to right. I did not complain enjoying the pain switching sides. For over half an hour she bit and sucked on them and I thought her mouth must have hurt.
“You ok baby?” I asked.
And a muffled “huh hmmm” was her reply.
I sat up and in unison Alex moved still latched to one nipple. I cupped her face and pulled her away slowly watching the saliva dribble down my breast and strands that stuck to Alex's chin broke twanging back to my breast. I pulled her face to mine and licked her chin before we lovingly kissed again.
After a few minutes of relishing how Alex had just made me so turned on for some reason I had to know why she had decided one day to kiss me and if she had wanted this for any length of time.
I kissed her lips and still cupping her face I stared into her loving eyes again.
“Yes mam” she replied inquisitively.
“That girl you spoke. You told her what you and I were doing”
“How long when you told her you wanted do the same thing as she was with her mam had you wanted to do it with me?” I should have rephrased but she knew what I meant.
“I dunno mam. I guess after a while. After we had been having our ‘fun times' for a while. It just like happened and I knew I wanted to touch you but I was scared if you didn't want to.”
I smiled. “ Baby I must confess I've loved you all your life you know that?”
“Uh huh.” she replied.
I continued “Well I've always loved little girls and when you asked me about masturbation I really wanted there and then to actually show you not how to please yourself but I wanted to please you.”
“You mean… you wanted to ummmm?”
“Yes baby I wanted to feel your clitty.”
Alex's mouth opened aghast. “ you mean finger me and make me come?” “Yes baby. I really really wanted too so much, but I was scared too aswel.”
“ Wow mam that's mint” she said.
I laughed a little and gave her another small kiss on the lips. “I'm glad you kissed me earlier, but like I said we should take it a little slow so maybe we should. I mean we can kiss and kiss one another titties for now but down there” I pointed to the obvious.” we can start there in a little while.”
A look of disappointment came over her face.
“Sweetie it's not going to be long. I just thought in small steps. I want to show you everything and or cunnies are delicate things to be loved with care. They need special attention. So just for now we should pleasure ourselves and when we are defiantly ready we can go to that point and believe me baby. it'll be worth the wait.”
“I'm ready now mam. I wanna do it now….Pleeeease?“
“We will baby just not now. And remember sweetie you mustn't tell a sole and especially Charlie. She must not know. For now any way. Ok ?“
“Duh. I know mam but do u reckon Charlie will do this with us?”
“Sorry?” I said”
“ I mean do ya reckon she'll want to masturbate with us?”
“With us?” I was shocked. “Do you mean..eeerrr uh God you mean. You want her too?”
“ I guess” she said..“yeah I do.”
“ well sweetie I guess it might happen, but with us.. I don't thinks so.”
“Why not?” Alex asks.
“Well I don't know. Why do you think she should?” why I was asking her I don't know
“Haway mam if we can why can't she?”
She had a point.
“Well baby she's far too young and you know I let you and her make your own choices and until she decides whatever she decides we'll wait till then…… Just one thing Alex?”
“Yeah” she said.
I couldn't quite believe I was asking her this. “I take it you mean this in the context that you want Charlie here with us?”
“I Guess.” was all she said.
I needed to know exactly what Alex meant by ‘ I guess'
“ I guess huh. What you mean is you like Charlie.. The same way you like me”
“Yeah I guess” she said.
“There are those words again Alex what do you really mean?” I spoke in an almost sterner tone.
“ Mam don't …..you know?”
Question after question. “Obviously not young lady”
“I like her mam……I like.”
I'd obviously touched a nerve as Alex began to look as if she was going to cry .So I decided to comfort her by finishing what I thought was what she was trying to say.
“You love Charlie I know but you like her in a sexy way too?”
With a little bubbling of tears Alex answered “Yes mam”
I wiped way the tears and said. “Baby don't cry. I'm not mad at you it's just she's too young at the moment and we've only just begun and yes, I like her that way too but she's way too young. You understand?”
Alex nodded, tears still rolling down her cheeks.
“Alex baby. Just one last thing?” Here it was the big question.. “ Do you like little girls?”
I couldn't believe I'd just asked my teen daughter that question. I mean coming out as a lesbian was hard enough for me and here I was asking a teenager if she was a child lover. Surprised and shocked Alex answered quickly and with boldness and certainty but still crying.
“Yes mam I do. I love Charlie and I yes I do like girls. The younger ones like Beth and Sophie. ‘Wow' I thought. Alex was crying ashamedly so I just hushed in her ear as I cuddled her telling it was ok and whispered. “It's ok baby. I know it's was hard to tell me but I'm like you.”
Alex pulled back and looked into my eyes. ”You mean you too?” Alex like a child who cries till they are noticed stopped.
“Yes baby. I like little girls too. I love and adore little girls.” I wipe the tears from her cheeks as she begins to smile. “I've always love little girls especially you two little things.” Alex's smile became a grin. “Only one thing sweetheart I have never and you must also never under any circumstances ever touch a little girl in a sexual way. Ok. You must promise me and especially not Charlie until I know she is ready. You promise me?”
Alex nodded and said a simple “huh huh I promise mam”
I smiled at her and said “Good girl. Oh yes little Beth and Sophie are such beautiful girls and ever so delectable.”
Hmmm I thought for a second I shouldn't have used the word delectable. But what the hell it's true they are so deliciously sweet and bar my two girls I am so in love with them.
“So baby kiss Mummy again and let me see you touch your bunny while I kiss your boobs.”
We kissed again and slid own to lie on the bed and in a few seconds Alex was sliding a finger up and down her sweet bald vagina while I lovingly sucked on her tiny nipples.
I also began to masturbate myself and the smell of the room changed to that of sex and our orgasms where as beautiful if not more euphoric than ever.
I felt comfortable to take our relationship slow and knew Alex wanted to fasten the pace. But still this was I though the best way.
Alex has helped in a small way to recount the past year and she certainly wants to help with the next part. Our first time exploring other parts of our bodies.
Alex is such a treasure and I love her so much so my applause for her being so helpful and letting me tell all about us.
Please leave comments good or bad and I'll continue if wanted.