There is nothing which can prepare a woman for motherhood, and several women told Candy Stewart that. Still, one can take practical steps. Candy and Eric did. Eric found them a new apartment with a room for the baby. They moved in June first. With a new crib and passed-along bassinet, the room was furnished and waiting. She took to visiting the room and sitting in the rocker during the last month.

The ultrasound had revealed that she was carrying a girl, and she selected a lot of pink decorations. Eric, who went on many of the shopping trips with her had taken to saying, "Whatever you want, dear." They had agreed that he would have an equal voice in child-rearing, but he didn't seem to consider decor part of that.

She learned to change diapers. The pregnant women of Elizabeth Circle practiced on the babies that either were brought to the circle meeting or woke during the meeting at the hostess's house. Candy had changed Betty's Steve and Grace's Beatrice before either was two months old.

The women were a necessary balance for Eric, who thought of pregnancy as a debilitating disease. He kept asking, "should you be doing that?" Well, yes she should. She stopped wearing heels at Dr. Gabel's suggestion. "Not only are you more vulnerable to falls, your balance is not what you remember, and it will keep changing until well after the delivery." He didn't recommend many other changes until she felt uncomfortable doing things the old way. She told Eric that the doctor had suggested her cutting down on alcohol, and he stopped buying it and stopped drinking at home, himself. That made her careful to not tell Eric that the doctor had also advised her to cut back on coffee. She did, a little, but she didn't want Eric nagging her about coffee.

Still, when his worrying about her wasn't annoying, it was endearing. His interest in the baby's kicks was always endearing. Once he even pulled the car over so that he could feel her kick.

Eric was a good husband -- a good man. He tried to make everything comfortable and safe for her. If he didn't provide any excitement, she could understand. There were two obvious reasons. When anyone started to list the needs of a pregnant woman, excitement was far from the top of the list; Eric simply wasn't an exciting person. Put those together with his worry about her pregnancy, and Eric couldn't imagine that she would want excitement. Really, comfort, safety, and acceptance were higher on her needs list these days than excitement, and Eric provided these.

They made love once a week, on Saturday. She took care of herself on weekdays while he was gone, and she found her libido, even in the periods when the pregnancy was goosing it, easy enough to control that she didn't risk his finding her on Sunday.

One of her problems had been that their lovemaking stopped when he had his climax, leaving her excited but unwilling to bring herself off while he was lying beside her in the bed. That problem was solved when she heard of the advantage of rear-entry sex during pregnancy. Eric was perfectly willing to bring her off with his finger as long as he was in her at the time.

Once, he began fingering her to excite her, and it worked more rapidly than usual. She lay there enjoying his attention and not particularly eager either to interrupt it to change positions or to go through the contortions needed to turn her massive belly over. He took her all the way to climax while she lay there.

When got her breath back, she turned on her side and backed against him. Eric came inside and then took her to another climax with his finger while he enjoyed his.

Some of the women in the circle were exponents of natural childbirth. Betty had been an enthusiast before her delivery. She was much less enthusiastic afterwards. When Dr. Gabel asked Candy about anaesthesia, she had already made up her mind.

"I want to be totally knocked out."

"Well, I've done that, and I can remember when it was standard."

"I'm not a brave person when pain is involved."

"That's the way we'll do it, then."

After church one Sunday, she and Eric asked the Pierces to be godparents. Eric sort of owed them reciprocation, since he was godfather to one of the twins, and she owed Carolyn so much.

Carolyn was genuinely pleased, if not genuinely surprised. She had clearly been expecting the invitation. Bill was even more pleased. Babies were important to him.

"You do have two of your own," Carolyn said to him, and then to her and Eric. "Actually, I can't claim that he ignores the boys. For all Bill's faults as a husband, he was always a hands-on parent. It's just that he lusts after tiny infants to hold in his arms. I guarantee, though, I won't let him take her home with him."

"Now, Carolyn," Bill said, "I always give kids back to their parents. It's the only way that they'll trust me with them."

"Ha! I can remember you telling Nancy Hashimoto 'finders keepers' while holding Alice." Carolyn seemed to be laughing and fighting with Bill at the same time. Paul and Johnny were listening, too. They didn't look worried, although she would expect a fight between their parents to really bother kids.

"Yeah, but she bought her back with her advice to you." She couldn't make heads nor tails of what Bill had said, but she didn't want to make their quarrel explicit to their sons. She delayed asking for an explanation until she and Eric were in the car and away from the church and any audience.

"Years ago," Eric explained, "before they were married. Carolyn was a grad student new in the church, Bill was infatuated with her, and Alice Hashimoto was a toddler. Alice was a great favorite of Bill's (and vice versa). Anyway, she was running around, and Bill caught her. Nancy came over to get her. Bill said 'finders keepers -- losers weepers.' Everybody else within earshot, including Alice, knew Bill was simply being silly. Carolyn bawled him out. I don't remember what Nancy's advice was -- probably to be nicer to Bill. Anyway, Bill was clearly wearing his heart on his sleeve, but that was the first time that I knew Carolyn cared about him at all, though she was in the choir and I barely knew him."

"You know," she said. "I like them, Carolyn especially but Bill and the kids, too. I don't want to see them break up." She could see the strains in that marriage, and feel the strains in hers. A newlywed, much less a pregnant newlywed, doesn't like to see another marriage coming apart. Eric reassured her.

"Well, if you think the level of argument presages a split, you didn't see them before they were married. They had two shouting matches in front of half the congregation. That doesn't even count the one I mentioned. I was really surprised when they got engaged, but they don't seem to fight as much now. Still, I'd be hurt if you started a sentence with 'For all Eric's faults as a husband.' Maybe, when you want to discuss my faults as a husband, you'll discuss them with me rather than with casual acquaintances while our child is within hearing distance."

"Eric," she said, "when I find one, you'll be the first to hear." She couldn't tell him that he was boring. He could no more change that than he could grow an inch taller. He could change what he did, not what he was. She couldn't tell him that he satisfied only a few of her sexual needs. That would make her sound like a slut, as well as making him sound inadequate, and she felt sluttish enough. Soon the baby, bless her heart, kicked. That allowed her to change the subject.

The entire Elizabeth Circle rallied around, even though they were caring for their own and tending the others' babies, too. If it "took a village to raise a child," the circle was determined to be her village -- each of the member's village. Finally, she started to feel contractions one Wednesday afternoon. She called Dr. Gabel's office and spoke to a nurse. She asked how far apart the contractions were.

"I don't know."

"Well, give me your phone number." It seemed an odd request, but she did. "I'll call you right back." She didn't have time to move away from the phone before it rang. It was the nurse again.

"All right, I'm on a phone where I'm not in the way. Tell me when a contraction starts. Whatever else you're doing, tell me. Now, does your husband know?"

"No. He's at work. He works for the States Attorney's Office, and he is probably in court right now." Eric would say 'on trial,' but that sounded too much like a man accused of a crime to her. "Oh! You said to tell you when a contraction starts."

"Yeah. That was it?"

"Yes."

"Okay. You have the hospital picked out?"

"Yes, Evanston Hospital." They went on talking until the next contraction started.

"That's long enough that you're not in an emergency situation. I'll tell doctor, but I'd suggest getting to the hospital now. It'll probably be hours yet, but you are safer waiting in the hospital than waiting until the last minute at home. If you can't reach your husband, you might want to leave him a message. Husbands tend to worry."

"Tell me about it!" Eric had been worrying about her for months. She called for a cab and then called Eric's office. The woman who took the message in the office congratulated her. The cab took her to the ER entrance at the hospital, and she told the nurse on the desk that she was having a baby, but probably not soon. After waiting for a while, another nurse came along with a wheelchair and took her to the Obstetrics Department. "I could really have walked," she said.

"Yeah. Next time come in the front and walk to OB, assuming you feel able to. Once you're in our care, you ride." Another nurse got her into a room and asked when she had eaten last.

"Lunch was maybe noon, maybe earlier. Are you serving dinner this early." She had developed a monstrous appetite since the morning sickness had abated. She had been gaining too much weight and trying to control it, but she didn't feel like controlling her appetite today.

"Not to you. Nothing by mouth, not even water. When were you due?"

"August 5th."

"Well, that's good. It won't be a premie, and it won't have grown so big as to require a caesarian. Don't quote me; I don't do diagnosis, and anything can go wrong. It's just that hitting the due date is best." She didn't think she had hit the due date. This morning she had expected to have a week to go.

She had got used to being special. Eric overdid it, but even strangers had treated her with special consideration for the past two months. Now that her time had come and she needed that special consideration, she was merely the patient they didn't have to worry about yet.

They told her to strip to the skin and gave her a gown to wear. It provided totally inadequate cover, especially with her belly taking up so much of it. She got into bed, mostly to cover herself with the sheet. Even that was ripped away when a young doctor came in to stick his finger further up her than Eric ever had.

"Less than an inch dilation," he said. "It'll be a while yet." He went out, tearing off his thin glove and throwing it away.

"Damned personal for a guy whose name I don't know," she commented to herself.

"I don't know," a nurse who had overheard said. "Some resident has to check, and would it really make you happier if it was somebody you would be meeting socially?" The nurse had a point, and right then her next contraction started.

She kept quiet about the next examination. Soon afterwards, Dr. Gabel came in and made his own. He asked permission, at least.

"What is that?" She asked.

"The os, the mouth of your uterus, has to open large enough that her head can come through." Candy would really prefer that all the rest of Penny came through, too, but she figured the doctor intended that as well. "That requires it to stretch much more than it has already, but the first portion of the stretching takes longer. It is coming along well, and probably we should get you to prep now. Nurse!" The last was hardly louder than his comments to her, but it was urgent enough to get the attention of the nurse. Dr. Gabel went off to another patient, and she was transferred onto a rolling sort of cart.

They took her down a long hall to another room and did all sorts of washing and shaving. Eric came in to see her just before the delivery room was ready for her. They gowned him and gave him gloves and a mask, and he held her hand while she was rolled into the delivery room. Then they made him let go. They shifted her onto the operating table, and the anaesthesiologist took over. Soon after, she was asleep.

When she woke up, Eric was there, and she felt empty. Penny was no longer part of her. Eric was talking, but not making any sense.

"What?" she managed to ask.

"I saw Penelope. She's fine, perfect. They said you'll want this." He offered her a glass of water, and she really needed it. She managed to sip a little through the straw, and her mouth felt less dry.

"Thanks. How is..." Saying that much was a strain.

"Penny is fine. I saw her briefly, and the nurses reported that she is okay." That was good news, and she relaxed. That put her back to a doze, but she noted every move as they rolled her back to her room and put her to bed again. Eric followed soon after, but they put him out after only a brief visit. That was all right; she needed her sleep.

The next day, she went home, and the need to take care of her baby consumed her. Eric provided her food and any cleaning which got done. When she didn't change the baby or mix the formula she watched Eric do so. Although he hadn't had the lessons from her Circle, he seemed to do the job right. Eric had a new camera, and kept taking pictures. Afraid she looked as bad as she felt, she soon persuaded him to leave her out the photos, but he showed her some cute ones of Penny.

Sunday, when Eric went to church, she recaptured the kitchen. She cooked dinner in between caring for Penny. Although she had had a sinful amount of rest, the double exertion stretched her. Never mind the pot roast, Penny sometimes needed two people working at once to take care of her. She changed her while she cried for her bottle. Then, while Candy was giving her the bottle, she pooped. Eric was due back, and all she'd been able to do about the dinner was turn off the gas a little after the timer rang. Finally, Eric came in.

"The day Penny is baptized, the choir is going to sing a song to her." This was his report of the service, and a rather puzzling report, too.

"Is this new?" she asked. "I don't remember that at Beatrice's baptism -- or at Steve's."

"The choir only does it for kids of choir members." That was good, that meant that nobody doubted that Eric was the father. Wait! Wasn't Carolyn in the choir? And Maureen? Well, both knew, but both were friends.

"That's nice of them. Do you want to change her? I changed her before her bottle, but she pooped again."

He took Penny willingly enough, and she went to finish the dinner preparation. When dinner was ready, she went to find them. He was holding Penny in his arms and grinning at her.

She wished that she had the camera to record that scene. Those two looked like a family.