Meeting Her
Written: March 7, 2002
Where to begin with the torrid affair that was Toran and Jenny? Toran being the greatest writer since sliced bread, and Jenny being one of those Net writers who has earned a Signy Writing award (the equivalent of a People's Choice award for best writer on the net, with votes by anyone getting you there - mine is in the mail, they tell me...). I could begin by giving you the un-official, scandalous version, the one that we leaked to others in the writing community that we were actually a real life team, straying not too far from the stories we both wrote about the things we did to each other. That one had a few of Jenny's real life Net friends writing to me threatening my life for taking away their favorite chew toy. We got some good mileage out of that little story and for just a moment, good ol' Toran was in the spotlight with the infamous Jenny. It was fun.
But that wouldn't be the truth. And what the world needs less of is big fat hairy lies. They are the piles of dog shit on the carefully manicured lawn (rumor has it that the White House lawn is full of these piles - and has been for over forty years...) So here's the skinny: I have no idea what Jenny looks like. Sure, we've sent email back and forth and sure, she's sent me a few pictures of her, presumably real. But this is the Net, of course - who knows whether I was looking at Jenny or a naughty JPG lifted from one or another web page? I sure as hell didn't send her any pictures that had the real me in it (I think Jenny may still think I bear a striking resemblance to Brad Pitt - imagine that). And no, I've never been to England. And no, I'm not filthy rich. And no, I've never entombed Jenny under thousands of pounds of cement (Do You Want To Continue?), buried Jenny in corn (Welcome Home), or even kept her captive in my London hotel room. I'm a big fat hairy liar. Give me a Signy award.
I originally wrote most of this after becoming infatuated with some of Jenny's stories. She has an interesting way of writing - not what you would call conventional. What struck me about her writing was that it was very intense and very devious - it had a way of pulling you in with its rapid fire diction and holding you with the incredible situations into which she wrote herself. I sent her the rough draft of this story, asking permission for using her and she loved it. Not only did she agree to let me post it to the newsies and to one of the sites that had most of her work, as well as mine, but she thought it would be fun to leak out that we were actually a pair and that this was our story. What followed was a series of stories that we both wrote - me writing a few involving us directly and a few with just Jenny. She wrote two stories about me, I think, mostly accounting for her revenge to the horrible things I was doing to her in my stories.
Alas, like all fairy tale relationships, ours came to an abrupt end. Simply, she stopped writing back to me. Once again, jilted with the help of the Net. I may update this forward with a list of the Jenny stories in order but that doesn't sit too well with me - it was all fantasy anyways, right? Who gives a rat's ass which story follows which? Oh, and one more thing - I did change the title from Meeting Jenny to just Meeting Her. When I compiled a list of all my stories for this site I got the uneasy feeling that I looked quite the obsessed freak - Jenny was in, like, five or six titles. So, out goes Jenny and in comes Her. Sorry babe...
Toran