My First Time
"Kelly's Diary: Excerpt #1"
Season Three: Episode Twelve
(Lifetime No: episode 27)
part one of three
Copyright © 2008
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Summary: In the ALL NEW 12th episode of Season Three of 'My First Time', starts out as many have, two 13 year old best friends discovering sex together. It all begins innocently enough when Kelly moves to Texas (a.k.a Hell) from her home in Cincinati with her parents and becomes friends with Amy.
Original Airdate: Wednesday, February 11, 2009 @ 9:00 p.m.
(following an ALL NEW 'Jessie and Katie (in Friends and Lovers)')
Story Codes: ff, teen, oral
I have no choice except to write all this down, because when I am like really old and married and stuff, I will probably blank all this stuff out from my head like my parents did if I don't have a reminder or something, and I know I hate it when my parents lie and say things like, "Well when we were young we never wore that much makeup or went out all the time or stayed out past nine or anything else fun." That's sort of a distillation. So I'm writing my life down so I can tell my kids that I did that stuff too and that you'd better not do X Y or Z because like, see how much trouble it got me into? And not just because I'm being a like completely repressive crypto-fascist.
"Shhhhh," Amy warned me as we snuck through her yard. I nodded, which she couldn't see as she turned around almost immediately. I sighed. This was usually how it worked. She lead, me follow.
It wasn't my idea, of course, to go spy on her sister instead of watching a video at my house. It usually wasn't. Not that this made any difference to my idiot parents if and or when we got caught. "Well, you didn't have to listen to her. If she said to jump off a bridge, would you?" they would say, in one of those totally meaningless Zen koan parent questions that cause half of all teenage runaways.
This of course ignored the real cause of the problem, which was that they had decided to move from Cincinatti to this godforsaken hellhole of heat and insects called Texas. I screamed and screamed the first time I saw a cockroach that was longer than my thumb, and so did Mom. But did they get smart and move back? Guess.
Anyway, the reason I listened maybe a little too much to Amy, was that we'd moved here in like the middle of a quarter or whatever they used here, and I had like no way to get into the cliques or really make any friends. She was the only one who would talk to me. These people were so stuck up it was sickening. And they called it "The Friendship State" too. Surprise, not. So when I had exactly one friend I could talk to, was it any surprise that sometimes the idea of friendship got in the way of abstract ethical reasoning?
Apparently it was to my parents, but I think they'd spent too long in college, and forgotten what it was like to be sentenced to prison five days a week for twelve years for the crime of being born. They were like that.
So here I was, sneaking around in Amy's back yard, hoping to God I don't run into any of those mutant gasoline powered roaches, because if I do I am going to start screaming and never stop. They fly down here. It is the grossest thing in the entire world, worse than all Friday the 13th movies put together. Even worse than having your brother tongue you. Not that that ever happened to me, but the idea was gross. But at least he was mammalian.
Amy had said, "Hey, my sister's got her boyfriend over," which is what had started it. This time. Us being thirteen each, we knew what a boyfriend was, technically, and had had some sort of relations with guys that went under that name but wasn't really, and of course we'd seen movies, and I had actually read books (one of the reasons, by the way, why I had no friends here - I made the mistake of carrying a book in to school that I was reading voluntarily) that dealt with the topic, both from an abstract level like those books clueless parents give teenagers so they don't have to answer embarrassing questions like "What was the grossest thing you ever did on a date?", and on a more practical level from romance novels read under the covers. Mom didn't approve of things like that, and she'd hassle me about how they perpetuated stereotypes et cetera et cetera et regurgitata, which word I made up in Cincinatti back when I had friends plural.
So, we'd laughed and made up improbable stuff about what they were doing, and laughed ourselves sick at the idea of them doing laundry together or cleaning the gutters or something. It was kind of that sort of late, you know how it gets. I hope.
So as we were sitting there, not saying anything as we tried not to laugh any more, Amy said, "No, I wonder what they are, like, really doing there?"
"Do they kiss?" I asked.
Amy just snorted when I asked this. Sometimes she could be really snooty, when she felt like it. I mean, okay, so I didn't have a big sister, and my seven year old little brother was a little far away from dating, so I just didn't have the opportunities to see this stuff go on in real life, but that was no reason to act like she was special or something. So I said, "I bet you don't know, do you?" just trying to irritate her.
"Oh, God, they kiss all the time!" she said, but I was still mad.
"You're making this up," I told her, and she said she wasn't, and so maybe fifteen minutes later we were sneaking around through her yard to go watch them kiss, and if I was wrong I was gonna have to buy her a Drumstick at the 7-11. She eats those things like they're gonna run out someday so she'd better stock up on the taste experience while she has the chance.
And she makes me buy them every chance she gets, so this was like not surprising, and I knew I was going to lose, but my Dad mumbled something about the wages of friendship one time when he loaned his best college friend Mom's new car and it got wrecked, so this was like the same thing. And a lot cheaper. I didn't ever bother figuring out what I would get if I won. There wasn't a point.
So we were sneaking through the bushes around Amy's house. I had enough clue that I wasn't making any noise almost. So her going, "Shhhh!" was kind of annoying. I mean, it was really annoying, but if I said anything then I would have been making noise so it would have liked proved her point. So I kept shut.
Amy claimed they would be on the back porch, which I really had no reason to argue with, but did anyway, so we were especially quiet as we came around the side of her house. This was the time to be absolutely silent. So we were, and really slow, but we finally made it up to the window. There was, thank God, enough room for both of us.
I slowly moved up, and peeked in. And it was dark. Whee. So I stuck my hands around my eyes so it was like a periscope or something and waited for my eyes to adapt. When they finally did, sure enough, they were face to face like it was going out of style. I sighed, quietly, and sure enough, Amy poked a finger in my ribs to make sure I got the point. Yes, Amy, I thought to myself as I poked her back. I don't even know why I bother betting with her any more.
So we watched them go at it for a long time, and it was kind of exciting, I mean, unlike at the movies these people weren't even getting paid to do this to each other, and I kind of liked her boyfriend 'cause he was nice to me when I met him a couple of times. And Amy liked him too, but said he was all wrong for his sister because of it, because she was like the penultimate incarnation of evil, and one of the signs out of Revelations, and it wasn't right for her to contaminate him like that. I thought it had more to do with the way Amy's sister had probably had like thirteen years of taking the blame for Amy like I was getting sort of and had just had enough, but I didn't say anything because she was my friend and I liked her.
I was just getting cramps in my legs and I was going to try to suggest to Amy without talking that maybe it was time to sneak back to the house, when they pulled loose and started talking to each other about something. I couldn't hear what they were saying, even with my ear pressed up against the glass, but when I turned back I got a certain idea about what they were going to do, because Amy's sister who I guess I should start calling Sandy because this is going on a lot longer than I thought it would, but there's like so much I have to write down.
Um, what she was doing was unbuttoning her boyfriend's pants. He's Rob. So she was like unbuttoning Rob's pants, and my legs suddenly didn't hurt any more because I turned entirely into my eyeballs. Amy poked me again, which was entirely unnecessary, so I poked her back.
We were like real close to them, and sort of in their line of vision, but Amy had picked a good spot because we could see everything that went on, which was pretty darn exciting, especially since neither my mom nor Amy's mom would take us to movies where stuff like this went on. And as for sex ed class, forget it. You'd think they would either change the name to reproductive boring biology introduction and birth control class, or like tell us the real stuff, but I'd come to the conclusion last year that the whole purpose of school was to like make sure we never learned the real truth about anything and we'd just accept what we were told without remembering it so if they changed their minds about what they wanted us to think later on, they'd just put it on TV and we'd take it like we'd known it forever.
So I don't know quite what Amy was doing, but I like pushed hard up against the glass so I had a better view of what was going on. And Sandy pulled something I could barely see but I knew what it was out, and then no lie, she slid off the old couch they had back there and got on her knees in front of Rob. And I thought, Oh my God, she's gonna DO IT. So of course Amy had the same thought, so of course she jammed a finger so hard in my ribs I almost screamed, so I slapped her shoulder to tell her to stop. I mean, what was I gonna do, remember that I had to get home and do the dishes or something? Not hardly.
Sandy was like licking at it, and I had this weird idea that it tasted like a Slim Jim or something, which was ridiculous because what was he going to do, pickle it before a hot date, and the idea of him soaking it in like marinade or something was so funny I almost started to laugh but I caught it all in my hands. I was so quiet Amy didn't even poke me, but maybe she wasn't listening anyway.
Then Sandy got down to like serious sucking on this thing, or maybe I should say something else but I don't know the word because what she was doing was moving her head so it went in and out of her mouth. Rob must've liked it because he like tried to grab on to the cushions.
I was like completely fascinated by all this. So was Rob, although his eyes were completely shut and I could almost hear him making noise. But I guess he was sort of in the middle of the action so he didn't have to look.
Sandy was doing it, and I guess she'd done it before or something, because she was really going at it, and she wasn't looking like she was gonna get sick or anything like I'd heard about. And Rob wasn't complaining I don't think.
I was a little startled by the feeling of wet that I got between my legs, but like I said, this was really fascinating, and I kept thinking like What if it was me doing that? Because Rob really looked like he was enjoying it and Sandy didn't look unhappy either though I couldn't see her face. It was really exciting and I wished sort of that Amy wasn't there because I sort of knew what to do when I got that feeling, and one of these days I was going to get it right and have one, except I had this sort of worry that once I figured out how to do it I wouldn't stop. But I didn't think it was too serious a problem.
So what I did instead, was sort of rub my legs together, which made me feel all sort of better, even if it wasn't quite good enough. I even glanced at Amy to make sure she wasn't watching, then tried to open my mouth like Sandy's had to be. Sort of practice.
Rob was starting to like thrash around a little on the couch, and I forgot what I was doing again and watched really hard. He was pulling the cushions up, and it almost looked like he kicked Sandy once, but I guess not or she didn't mind or something because she kept going. Faster, even. You could hear him by now, and he sounded really out of breath, and something else which I guess was what a seriously on the edge guy sounded like because I'd never heard anything like that before. He was really into this.
Finally, he had what we would call in English class a climax, because he let go of the cushions and grabbed Sandy's head, and he made a noise I could hear easily, and his back like arched completely off the couch, almost pushing Sandy over, and he kind of just twitched there for a while, and then he like collapsed back on the couch.
You had to wonder what it tasted like, so I did, but I guess Sandy was wondering too, because while I was rubbing my thighs together and hoping Amy wasn't looking at me, Sandy got up off the floor and rolled something which had to be a condom off his dick and then buried it in the trash. I guess she didn't want to leave it on the couch or something. I mean, it seemed like a good idea to me.
Sandy put like a towel or something on Rob's lap, I guess to catch the stragglers, and then just climbed on top and started kissing him again. She was moving back and forth too, and I wondered if she was trying to get him up again for a second shot, when I wasn't busy trying to pretend it was me up there on top of Rob's lap rubbing back and forth. I don't know what Sandy felt like but I felt darn good, and I resolved to ditch Amy when we got back to my house and try some of this out in the bathroom while I was faking a shower. And it was my house, so there wasn't gonna be any question of who got the bathroom first.
Amy poked me in the shoulder, lightly, which is why I didn't slap her harder than I did last time, and did it again when I didn't look at her, so I did. She was grinning like any lunatic you've ever seen, and pointed at them with her hand about waist level so they couldn't see it. When she held up two fingers, I nodded, and she turned back to the window and we both started watching again. I mean, I wasn't completely clueless, I could tell when a party was over, and this one wasn't yet.
They stopped kissing for a second, and Sandy got off Rob's lap. I was busy watching him stuff himself back in his underwear and zip up his pants when another poke from Amy distracted me enough that I noticed Sandy dropping her underwear on the couch. Oh my, I thought, her turn. How nice, they take turns. I'd have to make sure that happened to me when I got a real boyfriend I wanted to do things with.
Rob got up, and Sandy sat down, and then they laughed at something, and Sandy handed Rob a little pillow which he stuck under his knees. I guess he had more delicate bones than Sandy or he wasn't used to it or something. Mental note, have a pillow, I told myself.
Sandy pulled her skirt up, and you could see everything, sort of, but it wasn't that interesting because I saw it every time I could stand to look at myself naked in the mirror. Except she had more hair. And she had more curves, which meant more fat. That made me feel a little better, I mean, it was pretty obvious Rob didn't think she was too ugly to talk to or anything else, and she had more curves ie fat than I did. Even if her boobs were bigger. I've got these little high bouncers of pain on my chest, and Mom said that when they get bigger they'll stop hurting which I am like counting the days for, or I would be if I knew when it would happen.
Rob started rubbing around on her thighs, right around her sensitive spots, and she looked like that was the right thing to do, because she grabbed onto the seat cushions just like Rob had. It was kind of funny. He rubbed all around, almost like he was massaging it, and then Sandy couldn't stand it any more. I could almost hear her whining for something which I could guess what it was, but when he didn't do what she wanted, she grabbed his head, early I thought, and stuck him right where she wanted him.
I couldn't see what he was doing, of course, but I had a good imagination, and it was sort of in overdrive at this point, and I was going to have to change panties before I went to sleep. Sandy was like stroking his hair, and had almost the same look that he did earlier except it was like she was more in touch with the world or something because of the way she kept stroking his head.
Amy made this little noise, and I looked over at her to see what she wanted. From the way her eyes were closed, though, I don't really think she wanted anything from me, so I turned back to the window and made sure that I didn't look at her any more. I also made a little resolution to not make noises like that because I was kind of embarrassed for her even though, thinking about it later, I guess I would have made a noise like that sooner or later myself. I mean, I knew we were both thinking about the same thing, and it was like tremendously exciting, and so I guess what it all came down to was that I was glad it was her that did it first. I wasn't going to let her forget it either.
Rob's hands were still rubbing around on Sandy's legs, and then he stuck them under her butt, which she sort of helped him with by lifting up a little, and then he did something back there which I hoped wasn't gross because she like shoved herself into his face and her hands slipped off his head and almost ripped the cushions in half. She made a noise too, like Amy's except I hoped Sandy's was louder because I could hear her pretty well, and I hoped they hadn't heard Amy the same way.
This went on and on for what was like forever, and I was sort of hoping that she would finish finally, because all I could think about was getting back to my house and my bathroom with the locked door and the nice sound-deadening shower and testing some of this out, but I guess Sandy wasn't as bothered as I was or something because like I said, it was taking like forever. She almost started beating on Rob's head at one point, which almost spoiled the mood for me and everything else because I was going to laugh so hard, but then she started doing the twist on the couch and grabbed Rob's head and liked shoved him even harder into her crotch and let out something which sounded like an old train whistle. I had to stop and put my hands over my mouth when I heard that one.
But I don't think anyone was listening to me, because Sandy like levitated off the couch, even more than Rob had, and like held him in there and I swear to God, I saw this as clear as day, her legs were stretched out on the floor and they were like, vibrating, I am not making this up, it was the weirdest thing. This was something I'd never ever heard about, so I paid attention when I wasn't watching her face. Her face was like, I dunno, but someday I want a boyfriend to make me make that face. It was like a complete epiphany sort of thing. I guess if you've ever seen it, you know what I'm talking about. Like she was plugged into God or something.
She hung there for a really long time, longer than Rob had, her legs just buzzing away like she was having epilepsy or something, and then finally fell back on the couch. Then she started to cry, which really surprised me. I mean, what, she didn't like it or something? Want to trade? I wanted to ask but of course didn't. Rob got up real quick and like held her, which I thought was really sweet but then like I said he was always nice to me. She held on to him like she was drowning, so I guess it wasn't him that made her cry, or something. I had no idea.
Amy poked me one last time, and I was gonna slap her like completely through the window or at least try, but when I looked so I could aim, she was pointing back the way we came. I guess she wanted to tell me the show was over, which I could kind of guess when Sandy burst into tears, but I kind of wanted to see what the end of that was going to be, sort of waiting for the credits. But I do that in movies too, and Amy hates it, so like do you need two guesses to tell me what we did next?
When we got out to her front yard, she took off running, so I did too even though I was looking around trying to figure out why she was running. No clue. I swear, sometimes I wonder if it's like sunspots that make her act like that, I mean, it's like she's not quite in the same world the rest of us live in, and it's like she gets messages that the rest of us just do not get. That's nicer than saying she's a lunatic, which I'm sure is not literally true because it has nothing to do with anything as predictable as the phases of the moon.
She ran all the way to my house, and so did I, about thirty feet behind her all the way. This was going to tire me out, and besides if I wasn't careful she was going to beat me into the bathroom, though right now I was beginning to think of a shower instead of you know. This place is so hot and wet that nothing evaporates, it just sort of drips off you like mosquito gravy, which by the way there were plenty of this time of year too. This place was just completely gross to live in.
I didn't manage to catch up to her before she climbed in through my window we'd left unlocked, but at least she didn't shut it before I got there. She even helped me in, for which I thought about forgiving her for the like improvised marathon we'd just been on.
We both just kind of collapsed on the floor of my bedroom and tried to breathe quietly. I was just glad to get back in the air conditioning, though I was sure I was going to leave like this Kelly shaped spot of sweat on the carpet.
Eventually we passed below like the hundred degree mark again, because Amy said, sort of up at the ceiling, "Oh, man, that was SOOOO COOOL!" Then she turned to look at me and asked, "Don't you think?"
"Yeah," I had to agree. "Wow, did you see-" and so we talked it over start to finish about five times, and made sure that neither of us had missed anything, which sort of wasn't possible the way we were both staring, but we wanted to make sure. I didn't mention the noise Amy made, though, because just as I was about to, I wondered all of a sudden if she'd seen me rubbing my legs together and I thought if I brought her thing up then she'd bring that up and then we'd both be like terminally embarrassed. So I didn't mention it.
Eventually, though, we got the facts straight, and then there was quiet for a long time, I guess as we thought about it. I know I was thinking about it, and taking a shower again, and of course I didn't actually know what Amy was thinking about but I bet it was something similar.
So I was startled when she asked, "Have you ever kissed a guy?"
"No," I said without thinking, which was a bad idea because then she was going to tell me all about the time she kissed this one guy she was dating before she broke up with him, I mean, it couldn't have been that serious or they would have been together more than a couple of weeks and like had more than two dates or something. More wages of friendship, I guess, is what I thought, so I asked, "Did you?"
I was sort of getting ready to tell it at the same time as her because I remembered it so well, when she said "No, not really."
I was completely blown away. I mean, she'd SAID she did, so like I blew out before I could stop myself entirely, "But you said-"
"He kissed me like on the cheek, and I didn't want you to think I was like a prude or something," she sighed, and picked at the sole on her sneakers. "I mean, I'm like the only girl in seventh grade who hasn't gotten kissed yet."
This was so completely astonishing, that I couldn't even say anything for a long time. She kept picking at her shoe.
"Well," I finally said lamely, so it wouldn't be so quiet any more, "I mean, I haven't gotten kissed either yet..." Amy looked up at me, and it was like one of those moments where you really connect with someone else.
"I thought you had," she finally told me, and I was like sort of insulted, in a way because it was like she wasn't listening to me again, and I hated that, but in a way it was like a compliment or something that she thought it was believable that I'd been kissed.
So I shook my head, and she shook her head, and it was so sad that it was sort of funny. I mean, we certainly looked better than that painted tart Laura who already had like this real boyfriend in high school and made it a point to show up to a party or school or whenever she got the chance with her makeup all smeared like it was evidence that SHE had someone to kiss, thank you very much. So I got a major case of the suppressed giggles, which weren't suppressed any more when Amy asked what was so funny, and I managed to tell her without I hoped making any embarrassing noises while I was trying to talk and laugh at the same time. She thought it was sort of funny too, when I explained it, which I guess is why I like her.
So like girls do when they truly hate someone, we started making fun of Laura and her sluttish ways, and imitating her, I mean, not only was she like this total slut apparently, but she kissed so much teacher butt at school it was sickening, and she had way too much money too, and, well, she had so much going for her that she really deserved nothing but contempt, which we heaped on in like shovelfuls.
When we'd finally run that topic into the ground, or I guess buried it, we kind of leaned back on the bed, which is where we'd moved at some point, I dunno why Amy did but I was glad to get out of the wet spot I'd left on the floor. I guess it wasn't really a wet spot but the whole idea of just laying there in my own sweat was like completely sickening.
We sighed, taking a breather, and just looked at each other for a while. I mean, I couldn't see anything permanently wrong with Amy as far as the kiss-me department, so I couldn't figure out why she hadn't been. I knew why I hadn't been - I was chicken. Yes, you read it right here, Kelly Ferguson is too much of a coward to let any guy actually make lip lock with her. Ha. So much for my ego.
Written by
Wednesday Night on...
(Spring 2009)
* * 8:00 * *
Slash TV
* * 8:30 * *
Jessie and Katie
* * 9:00 * *
My First Time
* * 9:30 * *
Unsung