Unsung: On Deaf Ears

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters appearing on the Disney Channel's original series, 'Hannah Montana', created by Michael Poryes, Richard Correll & Barry O'Brien. Characters are copyrighted to 'It's A Laugh productions'. Original characters are copyrighted to the original author (QYM). This series is posted to Girls Loving Girls with full permission of the author. No copyright infringement is intended or implied.

Feedback: Every author in his or her own way makes it a point to ask for feedback when posting a story, well me I don't usually. But there are several reasons as to why a reader should consider taking the time to give it. The simple fact is that giving some form of feedback is truly the most important thing a reader can do after reading and enjoying a story. Hopefully in the process providing that author with at least one viable reason as to what you liked about the story. This small amount of time spent will no doubt inspire the author to write more and possibly at a quicker pace, knowing that they have a fan base who are waiting on their next works. So thanks for the feedback and please keep it comin.

Original Airdate: Tuesday, October 25, 2011 @ 8:30 p.m.

Story Codes: no sex

Help me through the hopeless haze
But my oh my
Tragic eyes
I can't even recognize myself behind
So if the answer is no
Can I change your mind? - Change Your Mind, The Killers

Lilly stared at the cold linoleum. She felt cold all over, despite the balmy Malibu weather. Her mother's hand was tight on her shoulder. A doctor stood apologetically a few feet away.

"There was… a complication we overlooked." He murmured. Lilly wanted to punch him straight on in the nose. It would be so comforting to inflict pain on this man. The hand on her shoulder was close to cutting off her circulation. "It seems there was a preexisting heart condition."

"What does that mean?" Mrs. Truscott questioned. There were clearly defined tear tracks down her face.

The doctor checked the clipboard in front of him, "There was a hole in his heart that was hidden behind a major artery. We didn't look closely enough. The medicine we were giving him for the heart attack agitated the hole, causing his heart to stop."

"And there's nothing you could have done?" Ellen paused, trying to keep her voice strong, "He's… he's gone?"

Lilly tuned them out. She got up and walked down the hall with a purpose in her footsteps. She burst into the stairwell, ignoring her mother's calls down the hall. She pounded each step with an angry foot as she climbed higher and higher and finally burst out onto the roof.

He was gone. Her father was gone. She slammed her fist into the door, wincing as pain bulleted through her knuckles. Keeping her voice low, she found her way to the lip of the roof and berated the air.

"Why did this happen?" She questioned, staring at a passing cloud. "It shouldn't have happened. Not to me."

Her fingers flew to where her promise ring was supposed to sit. Finding it gone was still a disappointment, but it was a dull sensation at this point.

"And I pushed you away, too." Lilly chuckled dryly. "I'm such a smart kid."

"Lillian?" The door to the roof swung open. "I knew you'd be here."

Lilly didn't move from her spot, "I want to be alone, Mom."

"I want to talk."

"I want to be alone."

"And I want to talk. So just listen." Ellen approached her daughter and wrapped the trembling teen up in a tight hug. "Lilly, this was not your fault."

"How can you say that?" Lilly whispered, "I agitated his heart. I made him die."

Ellen swallowed roughly. While losing her husband was a large blow to her emotions, she was also dying on the inside to see her daughter so tormented. She leaned her forehead on Lilly's back, "Baby, you dad was sick, with your relationship or without."

"It was without there at the end," Lilly muttered darkly.

"What?" Ellen could have sworn she misheard that statement, "What was that?"

"I dumped Miley the other day. So that Dad would get better." Lilly explained.

Ellen grimaced, "Lilly, dumping Miley would only hurt your dad."

Lilly shook her head, "He hated her."

"No, Lilly," Ellen denied, "he hated the fact that his daughter was something he couldn't accept."

"Which means he hated me."

"No! If anything he hated himself," Ellen tried to force a smile onto her face. "Please, Lilly… You can't blame yourself for this. It was not your fault."

Lilly pulled free of her mother's grip. At first she thought she would run and just never stop, but she stopped at the door and turned to face her mother. A small frown adorned her face as she noticed for the first time how aged her mother looked.

"I'll… I'll be back… I love you," Lilly darted away, unwilling to let her mom respond.

Tears stained her eyes to the point where she couldn't see where she was going – not that it mattered. She just needed to get away from that hospital, from those doctors. She dodged between pedestrians, ran in front of cars, and generally made her way haphazardly through town.

When she finally looked up at her surroundings, she found herself at Miley's back door. She would have found humor in this if her day wasn't so terrible. Of all the places she could have gone, she had run to the one person she had hurt the most.

Not bothering to knock on the door, Lilly climbed the outside of the house, not paying a wit of attention to her personal safety, knocked in Miley's window, and crawled onto Miley's bed. She lay there, waiting for Miley to return home and find her. She waited for the moment when even her best friend would throw her out.

It felt like hours to Lilly before she heard the front door open and slam shut. Tensing, she buried her face in Miley's pillow, inhaling Miley's scent to keep from panicking. Terrified, she listened as a set of feet came up the stairs and a hand twisted the door knob. She clenched her jaw.

"What happened to my window?" Miley murmured. She went over to it, noticing for the first time that something was amiss in her room. The window had been roughly pushed open – which could only mean someone, or something, had invaded her space. She whirled around, catching sight of the blonde hair nestled on her bed. "Lilly?"

Lilly moaned slightly, trying to keep her emotions in check. "Uh…"

"Your mom is worried sick," Miley kept her distance, both physically and emotionally. "You need to leave."

"Can't." Lilly murmured. Her body shuddered.

"Well you have to get out of my room. In case you hadn't forgotten, you dumped me?" Miley hissed, bitter agony lacing her words.

"Please." Lilly knew her face was bright red and was glad it was hidden by bedding.

"No."

Lilly pulled her face out of the stuffed prison and stared long and hard at Miley, "I need you."

"And I needed you. Looks like neither of us get what we want."

"I'll… I'll just go…" Lilly staggered to the window and prepared to climb out again.

"Don't." Miley relented. It was too hard pretending that she didn't care. She hurried to Lilly's side and pulled the other girl to the bed again, "What happened?"

"Daddy… he's gone…" Lilly whispered into Miley's ear before tightening her arms around her body defensively.

"Your dad? But I thought it was a minor heart attack."

"Well it wasn't," Lilly snapped.

"Lilly, is this why… why you did it?"

Lilly shook her head slowly. "I thought…. I thought maybe if we weren't… us…. Maybe my dad would get better. I mean, we were fighting that night about it..."

Miley shook her head. "I can't believe you!"

Lilly stiffened, "I'm sorry. Really, I am."

"That doesn't change anything, Lillian Truscott! You threw our relationship away because you thought your dad would feel a little better? That's so stupid I don't know what to say." Miley grumbled, falling into an angry silence.

"I'd give anything to take it back," Lilly was fresh out of tears. There was too much trauma for her tear ducts to cope with.

"Well you can't." Miley hissed. "I'll stay with you until you can walk on your own, but then you've got to leave."

Lilly closed her eyes, "What if I said I couldn't walk without you."

"I'd say you were out of luck."

Lilly rubbed her nose on her sleeve, "I get it. Well… bye…"

Instead of using the window, Lilly headed to the door and left the safe way, knowing Miley wouldn't stop her if she went that way. She passed Jackson and Mr. Stewart on her way out and ignored their sympathetic stares.

She trudged down the street to her house, hoping the building would be vacant when she got there. Luck was with her and the driveway was deserted. She picked her way through the house to her parent's bathroom, opened the lid to the toilet, and emptied her stomach.

Sitting on her knees on the bathroom rug, she stared at the toilet seat with grave disdain.

"I am an idiot."

"Completely stupid."

"Wouldn't be able to keep a good thing in my life if my life depended on it."

She laughed hysterically.

"And now… now I'm talking to myself."

"Way to go, Truscott. If you thought your life couldn't get worse…. Well, wait, it just did."

The phone rang distantly and she pulled herself to her feet. She flushed the toilet and wandered to the nearest phone.

"Hello?"

"Lilly, dear, is that you?" Ellen questioned. She sounded exhausted.

"Yeah."

"I called Miley's earlier, but they said you'd just left. Why didn't you pick up when I called before?"

"You called?" Lilly tried to think back – she hadn't heard the phone ring.

"Yes. Please, stay at home. I'll be back soon with some Chinese take-out."

Lilly stood motionlessly as the dial tone assaulted her ears. Slowly, she placed the phone back on the cradle and closed her eyes. This had to be a nightmare. Just a freakishly bad dream.

Dinner was silent. Lilly stared blankly at the television set as her mother stared blankly at the floor. Will had gotten out of work early and was sitting on the floor with a container of noodles on his lap. The room was stiff.

Lilly wished that she had the energy and will power to turn the television on so that she was staring at something other than a black void. Instead, she took another bite of fried rice. Her stomach was full after only a few bites, but she persisted in eating. She was aware that though her hunger was gone, her body needed something to run on, so she forced half the container down her throat.

"I'm going to bed."

Ellen nodded, "Love you."

Lilly nodded, "Yeah.. Night, Will."

"Night, Lil."

She went to her room and quickly exchanged her clothes for pajamas and curled up in her bed. Despite her exhaustion, she found that her whirling mind would allow no peace for her. She drilled holes in the ceiling with her eyes.

When it was nine-thirty, she could no longer just sit idly in her bed and wish that she had died rather than her dad. She found her cell phone and pressed one on speed-dial before she could change her mind. It rang four times in succession, which she expected, before going to voicemail.

"Hey, y'all. You've reached Miley Stewart. I didn't pick up the phone, so just leave me a message. Thanks." Lilly waited patiently. She knew she deserved this silence just as much as Miley didn't deserve what had happened recently.

"Miley… It's Lilly. I really need to talk to you. I know that's probably the last thing you want right now, but I'd really like a chance to explain myself better. To try and, well, fix things. I understand if you never want to see me again… but I have to try. I love you, Miley."