Network
NBC (Daytime)

Year (circa)
2002-2005

Dear Diary.

Today I tell you, my trusted diary what I haven't been able to tell her for the last 6 months.

I love you.

Three little words that change people's lives. Words I want to say but can't find the right time or the right way to say them.

How will she react? Will she be mad, disgusted, shocked?

Or will she react the way I always dream she will. With wide eyed joy and by saying I love you back to me and then we would kiss and our lives would be perfect from that moment on.

Yeah right. Life has never worked out that way for anyone.

So, for now I will write down how things started and just get this out of my head and onto paper until I get the courage to say it for real.

If that is even possible.

I should tell you who I'm talking about I guess.

Her name is Belle Black. She is the first girl I made friends with when I moved to Salem two years ago.

I was in a rebelling stage at the time and was fixated with the color black and hiding my appearance with all kinds of bizarre outfits and glasses.

And being the new kid my appearance just brought me more attention and resentment from most of the other kids and that led to teasing and name calling and many other nasty things teenagers do to each other.

Well, this might have been the worst time of my life if not for one girl. Yes, Belle was different from the rest.

She treated me with respect and kindness from day one. She stood up to the other kids on my behalf and invited me over to her house and that was when things started to change for me.

I had a friend. I had someone who cared about me. About what I did. What I thought. What I said and didn't care about how I looked, no matter how strange and different it might have been.

She was nothing but an angel to me and I never forgot it.

As the days went on we became closer and closer. I told her about my family and the problems I was having with my mother and it was such a relief to see how she listened and really seemed sad by how it was making me feel.

The way she hugged me and told me it would be okay made me feel so safe and loved.

I needed that. Alot. And she was there for me every time something new came up and got me down.

It was always strange in a way the way this young girl could have so much love and compassion inside her and how willing she was to share that with me.

As time went on our friendship grew and I began to get my confidence things started turning around for me. I met new people, became popular and even changed my appearance with one red dress. Yes, a dress Belle helped pick out for me I might add. One she told me I would look so sexy in. She told me the boys would be unable to close there mouths when they saw me.

I didn't believe her of course, but she was right. I don't think any of them even saw my face the night of the dance, but they sure wanted to dance with what was filling out my dress.

It was flattering in a way, I can't deny that. The attention was fun for awhile. But, after you see so many eyes staring at your breasts, the attention starts to get a bit creepy and less flattering. But, I did meet a boy and he asked me to dance and he was the most popular boy in school and when I agreed to go out with him I became popular by association.

Again, not something I even knew about until some of the nasty kids pointed it out to me.

It seemed weird that people would like me because I was dating someone they liked, but for the most part it was true.

And through all this Belle was by my side telling me to ignore the rude kids and just enjoy each day as it came.

We still spent alot of time together and that was the time I truly cherished. There was no expectations when I was with her.

I didn't have to be smiling all the time I was on Philip's arm. I didn't have to keep telling Philip where I was going to be or who I was with because Belle was one person he was okay with me seeing. Well, as time went on Philip became more and more possessive and began to get so serious about us and was talking about a lifetime commitment and I was still thinking of going to a prestigious music school to pursue my dream of being an opera singer.

Philip was never to interested in my dreams and figured I would be more than happy to give that up and spend my life with him instead. Now, Philip is a good guy. He really is, but as much as I liked him I knew he wasn't the one for me.

But, I didn't know how to tell him. I was happy with how things were and I hate to think I used him just to be popular and keep the other kids from bothering me, but I might have. At least near the end.

I needed space. And the more I wanted to slow things down, the more he wanted to speed things up and I think all of that mixed with Jan and Mimi's sick joke at the dance led to out breakup. And it was sad. Very sad. I had spent almost a year with him and we had been through so many trying times.

I did love him, but not the way he needed or deserved.

I am not sure when I found this out, but I began to realize I was in love with someone else. That someone being Belle.

And this also caused me a great deal of confusion and stress and mostly because I spent so much time with her and I wasn't sure if I could keep doing this because at first it was just this emotional connection I felt with her.

The ability to share things like friends often do. But, it became more than that over time and that's when I started noticing things like how cute she looked when she smiled. How her lips would curl when she laughed and how deeply she felt something when she was sad. I think I knew that what I felt transcended the normal realm of friendship when I found out she had suffered a serious head injury and was in a coma just last year.

My whole world came to a stop that very moment I was told of this. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how this could be true. How could anything happen to such a sweet young girl. I knew at the time I couldn't live without her and I started thinking of every single moment we had spent together and how much I would have and should have said to her.

I needed to tell her how I felt. I didn't care if she didn't feel the same at that moment, I just wanted her to know how much she has meant to me and how much I love her. Everyone deserves to know this and if anyone deserved to be loved it was Belle.

I remember going go the hospital the first day I found out and saw all the people who loved her waiting outside her room.

She was loved by everyone who met her. Her family, friends and just those who knew her casually had turned up to show how much they

cared. The bullies at school hated when she stood up to them, but they were all there saddened by this news and it showed me how deeply she affected people's lives, even if she never realized it.

I saw her best friend Mimi there, a girl who I never got along with, but who had been friends with Belle since they were children and I could see how this was killing her and I wanted to go over and tell her things would be okay, but I didn't know how. I wasn't Belle. I wasn't good at making people feel safe. And I didn't know if Mimi would even want me there.

It was still so good to see how much she was loved and I knew her family would help her get through this and I just wanted to do my part.

Eventually I got my turn to go in and see her and I was fortunate enough to go in alone and I say down beside her and looked at her and just burst into tears.

I couldn't stop crying. It hurt so much to see her lying so helpless, with a huge white bandage covering her whole head and tubes hooked up to her arms and nose and it broke me heart to see her this way.

The Belle I know was full of life. Always smiling. Always helping others and to see her like this was almost too much. But, I knew this wasn't about me, so I gathered myself and I took her hand and started talking to her.

The doctors and nurses told us that many patients can hear voices when in coma's and it can be very comforting to have someone talk to them so that's just what I did.

At first it seemed awkward to talk to her and not have her smile back at me and respond in her own unique way, but I got used to it and soon I was saying things I never thought I would.

I was a little scared about saying too much, but I knew this was no time to chicken out and so I looked around and saw I was still alone and leaned over her chest and looked right into her eyes and whispered, "Belle. Can you hear me? Please wake up. I need you to. You have no idea how much. You look so peaceful lying there and I know you will wake up, but I need to tell you some things and I just want you to hear me out."

I finally got up the nerve and even though Belle wasn't awake, I just knew she would hear me and I had to believe this would help her want to wake up. So, I continued.

"Belle, you are the best friend anyone could ever have. You have turned my life around and given me confidence I didn't know I had. You have given me more pep talks than I can count and you have shown me more affection with your expressive eyes, your tender touch and your wonderful need to just hug me when I needed it. And over time I have begun to feel things for you that I wasn't even aware of for the longest time. The fact I missed you when you weren't around. I wanted to hear your voice every night before I went to bed. I wanted to hug you so I could feel close to you and the closer I got the more I wanted and the deeper my feelings became. I often wondered if it was just the love of a friend and yes it was, but I was also becoming attracted to you in ways I didn't know possible. I didn't mean to stare at you when we were trying on new clothes, but I couldn't help it. You are so beautiful in every way. I know that after the sexual attraction began that everything I felt for you was so real and so intense and it was growing every day and I did wonder if you felt anything like this about me, but I could never tell. The looks we shared sometimes felt like we were making love with our eyes. The hugs we shared seemed to linger longer each time. I wondered if it was an accident your hands would brush against my breasts while I tried on a new dress and the worst part about all this is I just didn't know.

Well, now I do know how I feel and I know I am babbling now and please forgive me, but I want you to know that I do love you. Okay, I said it. I love you Belle Brady. And if you wake up, no, check that, WHEN you wake up I promise I will tell you this and live with how things end up.

Okay, I've talked your head off for too long, but do not give up Belle. Do you hear me? You wake up. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you. Your too strong to let this stop you. I will be hear when you wake up and I want you to know this." It took a long time to get it all out but I felt so much better that I did.

And as I stood to get up I felt her hands squeeze mind and I stopped and looked at my hand and saw her fingers move again and I was in shock. I froze. I wanted to yell, but I couldn't. She squeezed my hand again and then I knelt down right close to her pretty face and I looked into her eyes and just then her eyes opened and stared right at me and I jumped back off the chair and screamed that she was awake and the whole room soon filled with her family and friends and nurses and doctors and I was way at the back by this time, but I smiled at her and she smiled back and I knew she recognized me and I felt so good.

I let her family spend some time with her and then they came out and informed me that Belle was out of danger now and they just wanted to keep her overnight for observation and then she could go home.

Nothing I had ever felt before had given me as much joy and made me smile so much than the moment I knew Belle would be okay.

The next few days it was very hard to even get to see Belle. Her family was there around the clock and she was still tired and weak and needed her sleep, so my visits were never as long as I wanted and almost always with others around.

But, I wasn't complaining one bit. I was happy just to see her and watch her smile and get better each day.

At night's I would go home and cry and then laugh and then wonder if she heard me tell her I loved her. And if she did, how would it change things for us.

I didn't think about that too long though, I tried to focus on Belle getting better and then I could address the feelings I have and see how she felt in return.

It was about two weeks before Belle was able to go out of the house on her own and it was also the first time we had had a chance to be alone since that day in her hospital room when I poured my heart out to her.

She knocked on my door and we went up to my room and she sat down on my bed and I sat down beside her and as I looked at that sweet face and what she had been through I just began crying again.

Just couldn't control myself and I was balling my eyes out and Belle as always held me close and consoled me again.

As I gained my composure I felt so silly. She didn't need to come over and make me feel better her first day out.

I knew she didn't mind though. And the way she held me in her arms just felt so right.

I looked into her eyes and tried to read anything about how she felt and I just couldn't tell. She was smiling at me and that always made me feel good, but she is just so friendly that I didn't want to get this wrong.

We finally started talking and soon it had been an hour and that's another thing I love about her, she is so easy to talk to. She just listens to me so well. She cares about me and I try and do the same and I get lost in our talks sometimes and it's such a great feeling.

She asked me how I was doing since I broke up with Philip and I didn't have much to say expect I was doing okay and was much better now that she was here.

There was a long pause and we both said at the exact same time, "I need to tell you something"

Well, this was it I thought. She was going to tell me she heard everything I said and then let me down easy that she didn't feel the same and she was happy with Sean.

Oh god. This was the longest pause in the history of the world.

I so wanted her to go first. So, I waited and finally said she should go first and she agreed.

She stood up and walked over to the bedroom door and closed it tight and locked it. She then started pacing in front of the bed, which always drove me crazy and finally she started to talk.

"First let me say I am so happy to be here with you right now. I don't remember much about the past couple weeks, but I do remember missing you. I remember sitting up at nights wanting to talk to you on the phone, but then falling asleep before I could even make a call. I remember how great everyone has been since this happened and how lucky I am to have such a great family and amazing friends.

I remember the feeling I had when I woke up and you were the first face I saw. And I remember the way I would fall asleep thinking of so many things. I was just happy to be able to dream again. And I have never felt more clear than last night.

Everything fell into place. My memories seemed to all come back to me at once and now I'm here.

Where I want to be. Where I need to be.

I remember everything you said to me when I was in a coma. And I now know that your words are what brought me back to where I am now. And the reason they brought me back is that I saw for the first time what love really feels like.

Your words were beautiful and they touched me like nothing I've ever felt before, but I know this may sound surreal and maybe it is, but I felt your love. Not just in your words, but in your touch. In your breath. In your blood. In your tears. I felt it flow through your hands and into my body and it was unmistakable and unforgettable and even though I had felt many things for you before that, it was at that moment that they all became clear to me."

It was at this moment that she came right over to me and took both my hands and looked so deep into my eyes I could feel her inside me. Her touch sent shivers throughout my body and I just held onto her hands and let her continue.

"Chloe, we have been through so much together over the last two years and we become so close it's almost scary. I never knew I could feel so many different things for one person until I met you.

I've felt such a strong bond between us since the day we first met. And that bond has grown so much over this short time and I have spent many a night wondering just what it is I was feeling for you and I don't think I was ever ready for what I discovered.

I didn't know how or why this has happening to me or us, but every time I looked at you in the past couple months I didn't see my friend. Instead I saw a beautiful woman. I saw an amazingly sexy woman. And when I saw you the feelings inside of me were not just that of your friend anymore.

No, I realized that my connection to you was more than just a mental one, it was also becoming a physical one. I couldn't deny it anymore, I was and am very attracted to you. You don't need to say a thing. I just needed to this out and tell you how I feel."

OMG!!! I was in shock at what Belle had just told me. She opened up her heart and said everything I had ever dreamed she would and I had to find out if I was dreaming or not and so instead of giving her the same words I leaned over and kissed her softly.

The kiss was so perfect. So soft. So sweet. So tender. She kissed me back and her arms were holding me close and I was holding her so tight and as we broke the kiss and looked into each other's eyes I knew right then and there that I was in love with her and sure could see and feel her love for me and she stood up and slowly began to remove her top and I just reached over and helped her off with it and then I stood up and turned around so she could unzip my dress and she did and I let if fall to the floor and Belle picked it up and sat it nicely on my dresser and I turned back towards her and I wanted to kiss her so much and she gave me that cute little smile and it just made me feel so happy and I pulled her close and kissed her again, this time it was much longer and so passionate.

Are tongues began exploring each other's mouths and are hands moved up and down each other's bodies and I felt the warmth coming from Belle and put my hands behind her back and unhooked her bra and she took a step back so I could remove it and she did the same to me and then I knelt down in front of her and leaned in and kissed her inner thighs and then slid down her cute little pink panties and stood back up but let my fingers linger on her pussy and slowly I began to rub her pussy and we kissed again and those sweet little moans she let out were like music to my ears.

I brought my fingers up to her mouth and she licked them off so slowly, looking right into my eyes and she got them nice and wet and I slid them back down and started really rubbing her clit and she parted her thighs and lowered herself to the bed and I put my knee up against her side and let my fingers continue to rub her now moist pussy and I lowered my body down to her and she grabbed my breasts and kissed them all over and then took one nipple into her mouth and licked and sucked and nibbled on it until it was rock hard and then she switched to the other nipple and licked it all over and put it into between those soft lips of hers and sucked it deep into her mouth and it just sent a rush of excitement through my body and I saw her look into my eyes and smiled and I had to kiss her again and I just put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her to the pillow and covered her mouth with mine and soon we were kissing so hard and passionately and I was so wet right now I couldn't believe it.

After kissing for so long, I kissed her chin and neck and then moved down to her very firm breasts and touched them for the first time with my hands and just caressed them so softly, learning every inch of them before I took her nipples into my fingers and then into my mouth and once again heard that sweet little moan of her's and it just made me smile and want to make her do that all day long.

Belle was breathing heavier now as I continued to lick her hard nipples and rub her now very damp pussy very hard and so was I. I then kissed my way down her sexy tummy and put both her legs up on the bed and pushed them apart and climbed up between them and was now inches away from her sexy pussy and I just looked into her eyes and she looked so peaceful and happy and I lowered my head to her pussy and slid my tongue all the way up her pussy lips and then back down.

Her pussy was so sweet and I couldn't get enough and so I dove back in and was really licking her hard and fast as my fingers were rubbing her clit faster and faster now and she was moving her hips just as fast towards me and I could tell from her actions and sounds she was loving this as much as I was.

Everything just felt so right. Like we had being doing this our whole lives, yet it was our first time and like so many things we did together before, this to just came naturally to us. I really believe we were meant to be together and now we get to show each other how we really feel and I was only just beginning.

I slid a finger inside her warm pussy and pushed it in deep and then slowly moved it in and out, never letting my tongue move away from her delicious pussy, constantly licking and sucking on her clit and she was really getting loud now with her moans and sighs and screams of passion and it made me hot just watching and listening to her.

My fingers were now pushing in and out of her at a very fast pace and she was moving her hips back and forth to meet each of my thrusts and I could tell she was getting close to having an orgasm and I just started slamming my fingers into her pussy harder and harder and my tongue was all over her clit, furiously licking it as fast and hard as I could and Belle grabbed my head and held it tightly as she screamed out and tensed up and then became oh so still and I moved back up to her and pushed the hair away from her face and just enjoyed how happy she looked and gave her a soft kiss and she opened her eyes and kissed me back and then rolled me over onto my back and straddled my chest and pushed my arms above my head and I tried to bring them back to grab her very sexy breasts and she pushed them back over my head and leaned down and kissed me and shook her finger in front of my nose saying no, no, no and I did as she asked and kept my hands above my head as she continued to kiss me.

After a very long time of some seriously hot kissing Belle slid down my body, while keeping her hands over my large breasts and she licked them and kissed them all over, sucking on my nipples until they were rock hard and then she continued to suck and lick them, spending a long time with her hands and mouth and tongue licking and caressing my breasts and just the touch of her hands on them made me feel so hot and she really did love my breasts and I loved how much time she would spend on them each time we made love.

She did make her way down to my very anxious pussy and started rubbing my pussy lips with her fingers and she wasted no time finding my clit and licking it very fast and hard as I lie back and grabbed my breasts in my hands and played with my nipples as Belle worked her magic on my now dripping pussy.

Her tongue was moving so fast over my clit I felt I would cum way too soon, but I didn't care, I knew it wouldn't be the only time and I just smiled and enjoyed Belle's enthusiastic pussy licking and was almost surprised when I felt two of Belle's fingers slide into my pussy and she had them pushing so hard and deep right from the start. This continue for what seemed like an eternity, with Belle giving me orgasm after orgasm and I was so tired by the time she finished that I just pulled her back down to me, kissed her softly and then fell asleep beside her and was so happy to wake up in her arms, just the way I always dreamed it would be.