Tainted Lime Reviews Issue #40
May 13, 2002
Stories reviewed in this issue:
Mike has the hots for Kellie, the redhead lesbian in his office. But she is a lesbian, so he doesn't have much hopes of it turning into anything. And then one night, while he is working late, Kellie stops by his office. They get to talking, Kellie informs him that her lover, Alyssa, is out of town. Mike and Kellie end up going out to dinner together.
At dinner, Kellie lets the cat out of the bag: she's not strictly gay, and Alyssa doesn't mind if Kellie gets a little cock on the side.
You can probably guess what happens next.
But you may not guess what happens a few weeks later, when Alyssa is back in town.
The writing is generally very good, with only a few minor lapses. The story-telling is generally good, too, but when the lesbian relationship between Kellie and Alyssa starts to be revealed, too much male sex fantasy creeps in, killing off the believability that had been created earlier on.
What this story really is, then, is an attempt to make a ridiculous male stroke story seem plausible. And while the author didn't quite pull it off, he came as close as I've ever seen in ASSM.
The things that happen in the Walmart parking lot. The woman in this story has just bought a new yellow SUV with one of those inflatable mattresses in the back. And she is horny as hell. She calls her latest flame and lets him know she can't wait, and he obliges her by jumping in the back and giving that blow-up bed a rip-roaring test drive.
The best part of this story is the insatiable lust the participants have for one another. And while there isn't much in the way of a plot, it is a vivid, sexy scene.
David, a guy who spends way too much time at his neighborhood bar, has become obsessed with Shayne, a gorgeous woman who comes in on Fridays to unwind from a long week of work.
What would happen if David got the nerve to actually say something to this goddess? Would they talk? Would they become friends? Would they eventually become lovers?
Now there isn't much in the way of sex in this story, and the David character didn't light much of a fire for me. If you're looking for a fun read, this is definitely not it. But, as a character study of a pitiful, lonely man, this story is superb.
A man and his wife enjoy experimenting sexually, but Juliette always hesitates when the idea of attending a swinger's club arises. But experimental people cannot deny their true nature. They eventually decide to attend "The Power Exchange," just to see what it's like.
The original plan is just to sit and watch, but Juliette's libido gets the best of her. Before she knows it, she's blowing her husband on the pool table before an appreciative audience.
Afterwards, they head home for a good night's sleep, but wake up hornier than ever.
The writing isn't the sharpest I've seen - there were several minor misspellings, typos, and silly grammar mistakes. Nor is the plot especially interesting. But the sex is torrid, and it's easy to forgive a `their' that should have been a `there' when the sex is this hot.
In Dudley Do-Right cartoons, Snidely Whiplash gets just as much screen time as Dudley. There is a good reason for this: even though Dudley is good, Dudley is dull. Without Snidely to add interest to the story, no one would care one iota about Dudley.
Dudley Do-Right in this story is played by Nathan, a Renaissance Man attending graduate school at the University of Maryland. Nathan is a ballroom dancer, a Humanist, he's competent in the arts of self-defense, and he's an all-around sensitive guy.
Nathan's Nell is a mocha-skinned beauty named Mina. After an evening of dancing, Nathan looks for Mina outside the club only to see her being led away by a Snidely-like bad guy. Nathan, of course, foils the dastardly criminal.
The problem with Dudley Do-Right cartoons is Nell doesn't know how to properly thank a hero. This is not a problem in "Fatwa," as Mina and Nathan have a rousing roll on the futon back at Nathan's picturesque student apartment.
Unfortunately, this story does not contain even the smallest hint of humor, leaving us with a melodrama that takes itself far too seriously. On top of that, the bad guys aren't around enough to keep me from getting annoyed by Nathan's perfection. And on top of all that, the dialogue is not realistic - these people talk like they know they're being quoted in a story.
But the story is exceptionally good in other ways. It's technically flawless, the prose flows effortlessly, and it has some interesting comments to make about fanaticism. It also has some rockin' hot sex.
And that ain't bad.
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