The Schoolboys' Alphabet

by Mike Ward

A is the Armchair o'er which I am bent,

B is my Bottom which bared I present,

C is the Cane which sings through the air,

D is my Daddy who strikes with such flair,

E is the Effort he puts into each stroke,

F is the word that back I must choke,

G is the Grimace all over my face,

H the Headmaster saying I'm a disgrace,

I am the boy being caned yet again,

J being the Japes that have ended in pain,

K is the Killjoy who caught me fighting in school,

L for the laughter of schoolmates so cruel,

M is for Mike, that's my name don't you know,

N is for Naked, in the corner, on show,

O is the Ouch that I scream loud and clear,

P is for Punishment upon my poor rear,

Q is the quaking I do in my shoes,

R the Report that I tried hard to lose,

S is for smacking and spanking and shorts,

T for the Thrashing U get till it hurts,

V for Variety, canes and straps on Dad's shelves,

W is what Dad says when six becomes twelve,

X is the criss-cross of stripes on my bum,

Y the quiet Yippee in my bed when I cum,

While Z is for sleeping again on my tum.

© Mike Ward 2004