Column October 19, 2000
A Few Questions
are models so tall and skinny? It's not like the average woman
is six feet tall and I-stick-my-finger-down-my-throat skinny.
popular performers, actresses and singers especially, short? Not
all, but take a look at this list: Britney Spears, Madonna, Christina
Aguilera, Jennifer Lopez, Ricky Martin, Tom Cruise. Not one person
that could be described as tall, but lots of talent and sex appeal.
Now what was that argument for tall models?
Why do radio
stations play the same songs over and over? Even the ones that
say they don't.
Why do kids
ask so many questions? And why do they ask questions that are
so hard to answer, like: "Why is the sky blue?" and
"How many cars are there in the world?"
Why do people
think that some of my stories are based on fact and not from the
far side of my imagination? I guess I should take it as a compliment.
people read erotica? How many would admit to it?
the line between erotica and pornography? Where do my stories
the rules of English grammar so difficult? And who made the rules
difference between good and classic? What makes a book cross the
line from being popular and good to classic? What makes a movie
a classic instead of merely very, very good?
considered erotica also be considered classic? "The Story
of O," "Lady Chatterly's Lover," "Fanny Hill?"
Will I ever
get published? I guess it would help if I tried. Talent would
also be a big help.
muses female? When my muse isn't visiting me and giving me a story
idea, where does she go? When she's here, should I invite her
for lunch or something?
Why is American
football called FOOT-ball?
are allowed to compete in the Olympics, shouldn't they have their
believe that Professional Wrestling is real? Probably the same
people who think my stories are based on fact. Doesn't matter,
wrestling is still fun to watch, hopefully my stories are fun
Do you smell...
what the Rock... is cooking?
prefer blondes? Or do they really prefer big tits?
like to donate a decent computer to a dead broke writer? E-mail
me ; )
reading these columns? If you are, are you smiling or giggling
at least once per column?
If I'm not
a big fan of Stephen King's writing, then why did I enjoy his
book, "On Writing" so much?
If I made
my stories available in different formats, like WordPerfect or
Palm Pilot, would anybody download them? Would it mean I have
too much time on my hands?
I have a
couple of stories in progress that will be very long, long enough
that they could be called novels. If I tried selling one of them
as an E-book, would anybody buy it?
If I read
about yet another female character with 44DD breasts or a male
character with a thirteen inch cock, will I throw my computer
into the fireplace? Just a note on bra sizes guys; the number
is the measurement in inches of the chest just under the breasts,
then the cup size is determined by the difference between that
measurement and the measurement around the chest over the breasts.
It's the cup size that shows how big the boobs are, not the number.
It's possible for a woman to have a 44 inch chest but have small
breasts, like an A cup. I would guess that somebody like Chyna,
the WWF wrestler, would have something like a 44 inch chest. Of
course, with her implants, she probably is a 44DD (at least).
The opposite is also true, it's possible for a woman to have a
small chest, 32 or 34, and big breasts, like a C cup. In that
case, the breasts would look huge, they would look much larger
than a 44DD chest.
really believe that women are as preoccupied with penis size as
men are with breast size? Get a clue, guys.
note, guys; if a woman's nipples are hard, it doesn't necessarily
mean that we're horny or trying to show off. We could just be
cold. And don't stare, just sneak peeks out of the corner of your
eye. Especially if you or Miss Hard-Nipples is with a Significant
Other. Can you say "Respect"?
a worse pick-up line than, "Are you a model?" Especially
when said to a married twenty-eight year old woman that is barely
five feet tall. Sorry, I might be cute, confident and classy (LOL),
but I'm not model material. And remember, just because my nipples
On a possibly
related note: Does it really hurt when guys are punched, kicked
or otherwise hit in the balls? And why do I have such an urge
to do it? Just one time.
it get so cold so quickly? It seems like just two weeks ago that
it was ninety degrees and we were thinking of going to the beach.
This morning, it was thirty-two degrees and I froze my butt off
when I stepped outside wearing a short skirt. And who says that
leather seats are so hot? If you ask me, they are downright cold!
Can I say
"Thank you" too often to the people who read my stories
and columns? I don't think so, and thanks for all of the E-mails
and notes. You guys encourage me. It's your fault that I keep
writing and posting.<grin>