The silence fell as she pressed the button on her radio, the song dying just like that. She sighed for the hundredth time and fell onto her bed. Sadly humming a tune that did not exist, Lilly popped her pink bubblegum.
Everything in her ten-year-old life seemed to be wrong. Things were changing, things were dying without the chance to really live. Things died every day in this little girl's world. They died but they were not forgotten. They left such painful scars upon her...
She parted the colorful curtains of her bedroom to see the rain falling down outside. The pitter patter of the droplets echoed down the streets through her beloved city. She could see the puddles flowing down the streets into the sewers; she watched the mists fill the area and thicken. Crystal droplets hit her window noisily and slid down until they had no place else to go. Then they dropped to the ground and shattered like a porcelain plate on a hard floor. Their lives ended as quickly as they had begun, as had the lives of everything in her world.
A single tear fell down the little girl's cheek as she thought of all her losses. Her parents took her away from him, no, stole her away, and then everything else in her world had come crashing down around her. Nothing specific was wrong, besides his absence. Nothing specific, just everything. Everything is wrong without him. That's how it feels.
Tracing a single drop of rain on her window, Lilly saw in reflection her own tear run parallel to it. It only made her sadder. How she wanted the old times back, when she was innocent. Now she's no longer an innocent child, but a forever scarred little girl lost in a dark hallway, or at least that's what everyone's telling her. How she wanted to be happy and feel tears of joy down her beautiful face, not tears of sadness. She felt her torturous tears will haunt her for eternity without his love.
Lilly knew she had to get away for now, just a minute, just a second. She had to escape from here. From this sad, sad bedroom which brought so many memories. She could see him right here beside her, chatting, watching TV and playing with Pokemon cards. Laughing, happy, like nothing in the world could ever be wrong. She could remember them engaged in a game of tag. "Can't catch me, can you? Guess I'm too fast for you." She giggled as he failed to catch her, scurrying around her bed. And last but certainly not least she saw him sitting with her on the bed helping her study. Lilly watched him with awe and total adoration. She looked up at him as he talked, his eyes fixed on the page.
"Y equals mx plus b. And you look at the coordinates and... you're not paying any attention to the math, are you, Lilly?"
"Why not?" he smiled, fascinated by her beauty.
"Because I like gazing into your eyes so much better. I... think I love you..."
Sweet kisses from his lips...
A torrent of diamond tears blinded the little girl's view and the memory was washed from her sight. Wiping the salty moist marks from her face, she opened her door and stepped out, grabbing a pink and blue umbrella from a hook on the wall. She took it and twirled it in her little hand once, then walked on her tip toes down the stairs, quietly before her parents could notice her absence.
She gently opened the door and then closed it softly behind her. She was out. She was free... almost free. She would never ever be free again unless she had him back. Then she'd be free. But she knew hopping would only disappoint her. No, they'll never allow her to see him again.
Lilly stepped out from under the shelter of the porch into the rain. The rain fell hard upon her back, head and shoulders, but she opened her umbrella over her and was shielded from the droplets. Walking down the long street like a lost child, she felt so lonely and so frightened without him. Like there was no one who cared. Silly, she knew her mom and dad said they loved her, but not in the way HE loved her.
"Why did they have to separate us, my love?" She found herself whispering. "Why?" Her childlike soft words had thickened into a louder rumble in her throat. "Why?" she called out. "Why, why, why?" she screamed at everyone, and at no one.
Lilly fell to her knees with a stifled sob. The umbrella landed at her feet, still opened, but somehow it snapped closed after a second or so. The tears began falling once more no matter how much the sobbing little girl tried to stop them. Teardrop after teardrop mixed with the wet rain against her pale, cold, longing face. No use in trying to stop the tears, she knew. They would keep coming and coming forever and ever. Again and again, wearing away at her small face.
A drop crashed to the ground as she stumbled up again. Somehow she was still fairly dry. And it didn't seem like it mattered if she was soaked through or not. It was time to let go. She left the umbrella.
Lilly let the cool clear rain fall over her. She let it rush to soak her pink Barbi T-shirt and cut-off jeans and little white socks and shoes. No, it did not matter anymore. She felt the breeze and the mist clinging to her wet skin like a sheet, like a blanket even, thick, heavy and transparent. She could hear the thunder and the lightning far away, but never seeming to come closer to the child. It threatened but it never attacked.
A peaceful relaxed feeling washed over her, as if she was in heaven. She felt coolness of the day and the fog upon her, mixing its breath with her own. She heard no bird song or children playing, but it was better or else she'd be broken from her sad reverie. Dripping wet, Lilly laughed in the moment for the only time in three weeks. She laughed because she had forgotten for just a mere second that she wasn't allowed to be in love, because she had forgotten her troubles and was happy all alone. She laughed because she was only ten years old and knew their love will never die.
But she ceased her sweet laughter when she finally remembered. The pain came all over her again as she recalled his last try to hug her, to kiss her, and her angry, screaming parents pushing her inside a car and driving away, far, far away from him... Her hands are empty. And she didn't even look back, she didn't want him see the tears in her eyes because she knew it would cause him so much pain. She just sat in the back seat and wept... and disappeared. Goodbye. Didn't anyone see how she needed him, and how she'd die without him? That night they parted, she locked herself in her room and silently stared at the picture of them in the park. She refused to eat, to play, to go to school... It had rained that night, too, as it rained now.
Lilly passed his apartment on her lonely walk. And she cried again. She hoped to see him gazing out his window or even better, to see him sitting on the balcony. Just a simple glimpse. And maybe he would see her, a lonely and lost little girl standing in the rain, and beckon for her to come into the apartment, just like he used to do when it rained. But there was none of that. Lilly knew which apartment was his and it was dark inside, like one had pulled black curtains over the window. It was dead black in there. No one was home.
In her young, ten-year-old heart it was also black, because it was rotting without his love. Without nothing to fill it, her heart began to rot and turn as black as his apartment. It was cold and she was weaker than ever. Just to touch his face once more and to lay her blonde head gently on his shoulder would not be enough. The only thing that could cure the black heart of hers was knowing they could be together again and love each other as they used to. Then her heart would be warm again.
Settling on a bench in the park, her clothes wet throughout, little girl cried one more time for her misery, but then she restrained. Elsewise she knew she would cry forever...
I'm never going to forget that look on her little face when they took her away from me, leaving me standing there in despair, all by myself watching her big eyes all watery, the tears forming behind her long lashes. Not one tear did fall. She's too strong for that. Instead they built up like a huge wall on a fortress. I don't love you anymore, little girl. I don't have any feelings for you. Is that what they expected me to say? A minute and you were gone from my life. And I just stood there watching you disappear in the distance, unbelieving I could stand there and do nothing while they dragged you away, crying out my name and reaching out for me with your hands. I can't believe I did it. I feel so bad about it, but what choice did I have?
How I want to hold her warm little hands in my own again. How I long to be trapped in one of her soft hugs once more. How I wish I could kiss her just one more time. But I cannot. No. I cannot.
Things had changed since her parents decided that at twenty-five I was too old to be their ten-year-old daughter's friend. I don't think I even realized at first the changes that her absence had on me. I became so artificial, I was never quite myself, for one. I became as cold as I was before she came to me and brightened my life. And last but not least, I always looked sad and struggling along. That was the most noticeable change of all.
I walked home one evening. It was pouring rain. Come to think of it, it had been raining the day we last saw each other. It had been a terrible rainstorm that day, as it was that evening. I opened my umbrella against the rain, the drenching rain everywhere. I looked around at the rainy world I lived in.
Everything seemed so bleak and dreary that day, even since I woke up. In the morning it had not rained but there were grey clouds that covered the whole sky. It looked just like a grey blanket over the blue. The rain coming down thickened and I couldn't see very far because of it. Fog moved through the alleys and roads, weaving through like a treacherous snake. A mist came over everything to make a spooky feel. Yet it was so beautiful. I somehow like these rainy days... somehow.
The pattering of the rain did nothing to soothe me, oddly. Most of the time I hear the rain and I feel calm and relaxed. But not today. I knew it was because I missed my little doll. How could I not miss her? So beautiful, so kind, so loving, so caring. I missed her warm smile and her long telephone calls and how she'd confide in me and talk with me about everything. I missed the way she would run into my hands whenever she saw me and her face would light up every time. I missed the way she would always turn to me to help her out. I missed her giggles, her teasing smiles, her shy kisses... I missed her so badly.
I held out my hand to feel the rain against my hand. It tingled as it hit because of the mist that mixed with it. I shivered a little. It was so cold. Colder than the night and colder than darkness.
As I passed her house on route home, I frowned sadly. The lights were off in her room. I saw the bunny rabbit curtains part as the wind blew through them. The room was empty. Empty as everything else was in my life.
The memory of her sad face as they took her away filled my heart and my world. I fell onto a bench, weeping softly but nonetheless bitterly. It hurt without Lilly. And I was so sure it hurt her without me. The look on her face told it all. The hurt burned up inside and it made me weep until I could cry no more. The rain on my face washed away my tears as I regained my composure and set forth again.
The darkness was falling as I walked closer and closer home. Seeping into the world over the horizon, the darkness gave the whole rainy evening a very mysterious feel. Almost spooky, almost as if one expected to see a ghost on this night. I sure did. Even I felt unnerved now. "Don't worry, there aren't any ghosts," I told myself in a quiet whisper. I laughed at myself.
Rain was still pouring down as I passed the park. Good, I was almost home. Finally. Now I could get out of the cursed rain into my dry apartment. I knew it was going to take forever to dry my jacket. It was pretty wet, not soaked, but a little damp. But something compelled me to stop and take a stroll through this bit of nature in the heart of an urban wonderland. I held my umbrella over me and entered the park.
The trees were wet on their branches, the beads of water on their leaves like a dew early in the morning before the sunrise. The grass was slick and bright green like an emerald. The bushes also were sprinkled with the rain. I made my way to the rose bushes, my feet brushing on the blades of fresh cut green grass. Roses always were my favorite flower.
The roses had grown since I last saw them a week ago. The rain had made the color intensify greatly, and now they bloomed beautiful reds and whites and pinks. I smiled and plucked one delicate red blossom, twirling it in my fingers. But I was careful for the thorns. They hurt when they prick you.
I inhaled the sweet scent that only a rose owns and it reminded me of my pre-teen love. I could feel the cool rain drops on my face, tickling it as did the wondrous sense. I pulled my face from the flower to find two drops of water on my lips. Looking up at the sky, I beheld the sight of the rain coming down onto my face. It was beautiful. I was glad I had come to this park today in the rain.
Gazing up I saw her face for the millionth time. A single tear trickled out from the corner of my eye. The teardrop and the raindrops hit as one, and I couldn't tell the difference. My tear summed up all the tears the sky shed.
Turning my attention to the rose again, I traced each petal with my finger. So soft, so delicate, so perfect. I brushed my lips against them and hoped to find comfort in the kiss. I knew that nothing could equal the comfort she gave me. I threw the red rose to the ground and left it there. It was bringing back memories I had to forget.
I heard singing as I walked to exit the park. Beautiful, haunting singing that I wanted to hear and wanted to shut out. The song it sang was killing me. It was bringing all the memories that I was trying so hard to forget. Us in her bedroom, playfully teasing each other amongst her stuffed animals and toys. A tickle fight in my apartment. A sweet kiss on my cheek as she dashed off to school in her lovely school uniform. A sobbing small girl buried in my shirt as she confided all her problems and asked me for advice. Me soothing her and kissing her forehead, kissing her parted lips, kissing her tears away... "It will be all right I promise, so don't cry. You look so pretty when you're happy, you know. I love you, Lilly... I love you..."
Who was this singer, anyway? Either way, the song she sang hurt my soul. I had to find this singer. Had to stop her, before I went crazy and broke down right here in the middle of the park.
The rain was keeping me from the singer, I knew it was. But I had to find her. A voice in my head begged me to find her.
Lilly heard a voice in the distance, far away. Perhaps it was not so distant. Perhaps it only seemed that way. No matter. There was a voice, seeming to be struggling. With someone or something. She would have gotten up to help, but was glued to her seat by some invisible force she could not stop. It was too powerful for the little girl. She stayed and continued to sing.
She looked and saw a distant figure. It seemed to be looking for someone or something, following a trail or a scent left behind. It shakily stumbled about in search for whatever it was looking for. The being was lost. As lost as she was.
The figure came into focus... and she knew him all too well. The perfect skin, the long black hair, and the famous green jacket. Those bright eyes that reached into her soul and made her feel safe, happy and in love. The quirky smile that always took her breath away, including now as he stood wet and gasping before her very eyes.
It was him.
I held my umbrella high as I stumbled along searching for the owner of the voice. Yet I was still managing to get my green jacket wet. But I didn't care. The jacket was so trivial now. Nothing mattered more than keeping away from the singer. And I had to stop thinking about her. And I had to stop the singer because she brought my love back. And I'd been hiding it so well.
I saw a bench ahead, and I could tell someone small was sitting at the bench. And I could tell it was the singer by instinct, or some sort of knowledge I never knew I had. It was the singer either way. "Stop," I gasped as I fell towards the bench, the pleading tears filling my vision. The pleading tears begged her to stop. "Please don't sing anymore. It brings too many memories." She could not hear me.
I brushed away the tears and they fell to the ground with the rain on that evening. My view cleared. And I saw the singer. I saw the long, gorgeous blond hair needing to be stroked. I saw the bright eyes that cheered up my bad days and haunted me as I dreamed under the moon and the stars. I saw the perfect, slender body and the gentle hands. The tearstained little cheeks. The haunting, sad, child's face that filled my memory every heartbeat.
It was her.
They were just there staring at each other. No words were needed at such a painful, critical time. Silence is best sometimes. She watched his face longingly. There he is... Always beautiful you know, the way that his long hair falls into his eyes and the shadows are cast off his face. Lilly watched his face and the tears came to her big eyes but they did not spill over. They would not have been noticed anyhow on her rain streaked face. She would not cry over him. No, not in front of him. She was too strong for that. She just sat on the bench watching him as he watched her.
Lilly stopped herself from reaching out to him. She just wanted to reach with her little hand out and touch his hand with her warm soft fingers and feel that rush of love that came through her when she was with him. But could he feel the rush anymore? Her parents yelled at her again and again that he did not love her and never will. "Goodbye... I'm sorry... I was gone... In a flash, in a blink, an instant. The touch would mean everything to me and nothing to you. I was too afraid to reach out... to fight them when they pulled me into the car."
He looked like he wanted to run away. He dropped the umbrella in shock and looked as if he were going to bolt away from her, but it fell silently and no other move was made. All was quiet except for the pattering of the rain and their breathing. In and out, in and out.
She wanted to say something, anything, to turn him back to her, so they could hold each other. But did he love her and could she say anything to change that? What could bring him back into her arms? What could make him hold her little hand? What could make him look at her lovingly again. What could change what her parents have done to them? No action, no words, no touch, nothing...
The thought made Lilly turn away, and the tears finally came over, streaming down the ten-year-old's face. But she was too strong to let him see them, too strong. She just turned away, gazing far away into the distance as the wet drops rolled down her soft cheeks. Looking up into the sky at the rain coming down on them, she bit her lips sadly. She shielded her eyes from everything as the tears slid out again.
He stepped closer to her, as if he wanted to comfort her, the way he did so many times before. But somehow he knew nothing could make her better. Nothing but them being together again. And they both knew it wasn't possible. That was the way it was. They will remain separate souls for the rest of the time. There he was on the other side of the world. Hello over there. Hello, hello. Lilly knew even, at her tender age, that she was never going to accept it but she was going to try hard to.
Her hair was wet and sliding out from the hairstyle it was in. She smoothed it out from behind her ears. The water fell off it and hit the seat of the bench. Lilly glanced back at him. He stared at her with confusion, fear, and some other emotion she couldn't pinpoint. Her lip was trembling spasmodically and her hands quivered. She was nervous about this meeting and at the same time excited to see him. Her heart fluttered.
He turned away, walking back to wherever he came from. Her hopes all were dashed into nothing. Secretly she had a small glimmer of hope that he might say something or even kidnap her, steal her away from her parents and take her somewhere far away, but none of that happened. She sighed, her spirits fallen. She heard his feet brushing through the grass taking him home out of this treacherous rainstorm. She stifled a sob of total loss as the sound of his walk faded off.
Lilly looked behind her. His umbrella. It was still there. She stood from the bench and fell to her knees. She picked up the object and twirled it in her hands. Glancing up, she only saw his dim outline. Becoming darker and darker and leaving her behind once again. Farther and farther away. Goodbye once again. She stood with his black umbrella in hand and took off after him.
"Wait!" Little girl called as she neared him. He turned to her and stopped as he saw her coming. A faint smile came to Lilly's lips as she tried to not break down in front of him. "Please wait!" she cried.
"You forgot your umbrella!" she said, holding up the umbrella. I had forgotten it. I took a step towards her, being careful. I had almost started to cry in front of my little angel. Luckily she had not seen the tears welling up in my eyes. She had turned away just in time. And then they came for the millionth time.
Lilly slowed as she came up to me, the umbrella waving over her. I noticed how small and soaked she was. Dripping wet, her clothes soaked throughout, outlining her slim little body. Why hadn't she brought an umbrella herself? Normally, once, when things where how they should be, I would have walked her home under my umbrella. You're soaked, my love. Come on, I'll walk you back home. Let's go. And she would grin and wrap both her little arms around me and kiss me sweetly like the little angel she was. But no.
She faintly smiled. Why? She stopped inches in front of me, holding out the object to me. I reached out and shakily grasped the handle, my fingers brushing against her own. She slid her hand away from the umbrella, seeing that I had it. She looked down briefly, then up into my eyes.
I gasped seeing her ten-year-old eyes filled with water. Not rain water, either, the water of tears. I felt pity for the poor child. The water shimmered, almost going over her lashes, but it did not. She stopped it from running down her cheeks. I knew she would not let me see her cry.
"Thanks. So long..." I said with my voice wavering. If I watched my little girl much longer I'd break down before her. I moved to turn from her, but she grabbed my hand quickly and stopped me. My mind screamed at her to stop it. Let me go please before something bad happens to both of us. You know how it goes, mi amor. You have to be strong and hide your feelings, hide them behind the lashes, behind the curtains, behind eyes of crystal blue. Hiding away in the darkened corner. Ducking behind a midnight's shadow. You have to hide your love the way they teach you at home, at school... My mind was begging but she could not hear its pleas. She would not let me go.
I looked into her innocent eyes to find the tears finally spilling over. How long had she held them in? They ran down her round cheeks, collecting with the rain running on her face. I felt my heart melting before her inside me. I felt it melting like butter. The tears sprung to my eyes too...
"One last kiss before you go forever," Lilly whispered. I picked her up in my arms and she kissed my lips tenderly. Just a sweet simple kiss. When she let me go I could see the tears beaded at the corner of her eyes. She looked up and let go of my hand. She tried to blink all the tears away. She brushed my cheek with her cold little hand, and a far away look came into her bright blue eyes. I could tell she was remembering all the times we had together. "Goodbye, my love," she sobbed. She turned away. The end.
That was it. Our last kiss, with her in my arms in the middle of the park and rain coming down around us. And both of us crying. I didn't want it to end this way. God I didn't want it to end this way. Please no, let there be another way. There has to be, there has to. Tell me, and I'll give you anything. Just let us be together. No, no, there is no way.
I had no choice to let it end. My pain would be interminable and eat me alive but she would go on living. I hoped. I watched her go and the tears slid down my face. I fell to my knees sobbing.
"I'm sorry ..." I whispered as I cried. The umbrella laid at my side, forgotten. "I'm sorry... but there's no other way... I wish there... was but there's no other... way." My words came soft and quiet between my loud sobs.
Lily walked away, not even trying to stop the tears. It didn't matter. She had now lost him forever. Their last kiss was done and over, a memory, a shadow behind them. Goodbye. That was it. If he was going to say goodbye, so would she. She can't keep fighting, she's only ten years old. There was no more of them. No more walks in the park, no more shakes at the arcade together, no more helping her with her homework in his apartment. Those days she knew were now forever gone. And she'd never be able to have back those days.
Lilly glanced back at him. And she couldn't believe what she saw. He was fallen to his knees crying softly. His head was buried into his hands as he cried. The umbrella lay at his side, the rain beading on the top. She gasped watching him cry. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... but there's no other way... I wish there... was but there's no other... way," he said between his sobs.
Lilly backed away quietly, confused as to what he was saying. She watched him cry as questions rolled through my mind. Something was wrong, terribly wrong, and she had to find out no matter the cost, no matter if it hurt her or not. She had to know what was going on. Let her in on the secrets he held. She knew that the wall would eventually crumble. Time to take action before it builds up again.
"What... what do you mean?" Little girl asked quietly. "What are you talking about?"
His head shot up and he looked right into her eyes. For the first time she saw real fear in his eyes. Fear of pain and of heartache. Fear of the inevitable. Fear of her even. Don't, said his eyes, don't even go there. Let it be. Let it be like you were letting it be before. You were even accepting it, now you have to fight. Oh, why are you so stubborn, little girl?
The silence overcame them. He said nothing to respond to her. He knelt before her, his wonderful blue eyes boring into her soul. For a moment he forgot how young she was. The rain was still coming down around them. A breeze blew, the grass rippling in the park. Silence again. Oh the silence like when they took her away from him that day, stole her away out of his arms and out of his life. Silence.
"Tell me," she begged him. "Tell me... tell me what's going on!" Her voice sounded tiny and yet so desperate. "I can tell what you're saying has something to do with us! So don't hide it! Just tell me! Please!"
He said nothing. Did he know how much she needed to hear the truth? How much she needed to know?
"What are you afraid of?" She said rather harshly. She fell to her knees in front of him. "What are you afraid of?"
"No..." he whispered, trying to stand and run away. She laid a hand on his shoulder softly.
"Tell me!" she cried. The tears freshly flowed down her little face. Having a life all of their own. Down down running like a stream overflowed. "Tell me! I don't want to be a child anymore... I have to know! I deserve to know! Tell me!" She was nearly screaming at him.
"I'm afraid your parents will hurt you if they find out we're together again!" he cried, turning away. "That's what I'm afraid of!" She could see the tears running down his face, glistening with a light that was not there. He blinked his eyes sadly, and tears slipped from under his lashes.
"What... why... I don't... I don't understand," She whimpered, stumbling for words confusedly. She didn't understand his concerns, his worries. Nothing had made sense for a while now. All a cluttered mess in her head.
"Your father..." he whispered, fear in his eyes. "Your father said so. He spoke to me before they took you away. He said if he found out you were seeing me again he would punish you so hard you won't be able to go to school for weeks." He looked into her eyes. "And I can't let it happen to you... even if we must not be together... I won't let them harm you... no matter what cost there is..."
He looked up into the sky at the rain coming down. His ebony hair, the color of midnight, fell into his eyes, shielding from her eyes the tears she couldn't see. "Now you know, my angel..."
It grew silent again. Lilly hated the silence. She hated the cold silence that grows and swallows people alive, tearing apart their souls. That was happening to her right now as the pain set in. She had thought maybe that he was not going through any pain at all. Yeah right. Now she saw that he was going through as much pain as she was, if not more.
Her mind protested to what he said. That there was no way for them to be together. That they had no chance to be alone. That there was nothing they could do to stop it. Her mind screamed out to protest, to find a way. There had to be a way.
"I don't... I don't care," Lilly said quietly. He looked up. A startled look came over his eyes. She continued, "I don't care if they hurt me, it doesn't matter. I don't care if they kill me if I can't be with you again. All that matters is that... that I'm with you."
"Listen to me!" he said in a sharp voice, like he was scolding her. He grabbed her tiny shoulders with both hands. "You have to stay away from me!"
"I don't want to see something happen to you! I won't ever let anyone hurt you! I won't ever let you be in pain! Ever!"
He broke down crying into his hands. His sobs racked his body as the rain fell around them. Lilly reached out to him, pulling his body closer to herself. He pulled away, stopping his crying long enough to jerk away from the little girl's touch. His eyes seemed so cold as they looked at her, like a knife in her gentle heart. His look was of pain, ultimate sorrow and agony.
"You go your way and I'll go mine..." he said, his voice cracking at the pain of the thought. Lilly reached out to him, but he shoved her away. How could she let him push her away, when she knew he loved her so? The tears silently ran their course down her cheeks.
"No! No! No!" She flung herself into his arms desperately. He pushed her away once again. "No!" Lilly screamed, scrambling to him. But he kept pushing her away from him.
"Stop it!" he screamed at her. "Give it up, you can't... there's no way. You're only ten, Lilly!"
"No!" She cried in a voice hoarse from crying. She fell into him and wrapped her slender arms around him. Clinging to him, she said, "I'm not letting you go. I'm not letting you go now or ever."
"Why are you always so stubborn?"
"Please... oh please no!" She started to cry but she wouldn't let him go. She was crying so hard, her thin little body shaking against his own. Protesting, no, no, no. Please no, don't do this to me again! I'll go crazy if we can't be with each other. Some thing in her rebelled against every shred of doubt she had ever had, and she hung onto him and wouldn't let go. "Please... stop it..."
"No. No," Lilly said. She looked up into his eyes, her own watering like a fountain. She gritted her teeth in pain. "Don't tell me that you've given up on us. You can't give up. The love we have... it's too strong. You can't give up on it, and on us." She paused to take a breath. "Because together we can make it somehow. We have to try. We're not going to get anywhere without trying. We have to try, we have to!" She smiled for the first time in so long. A real smile. "Together we can do anything. Not even death can stop us. But you've got to... you've got to believe in us. You've got to believe in me, and I've got to believe in you. And I do believe in you. I believe in you." She wrapped her tiny but strong arms around him more tightly and went on, "Do you... do you believe in me?"
She knew those words were not her own. Those words were from her heart. Her pure child's heart spoke out every bit of love that she had for him. And if that couldn't convince him nothing could.
"But..." he began. She knew his mind was screaming no, leave her now so she can live unharmed, but there's always that little rebel inside us all that appears right in the nick of time, the little rebel that fights for what it knows is right and against all that oppose it. The little rebel that was his heart.
"I know we can do it," she whispered. Rain slid down her pale face, dripping from her long golden hair. Her wet clothes clung to her thin little body, but she didn't care. She felt so warm in his arms. The heat of his body felt so good to her. She hadn't felt this way in so long. In eternity it felt like. How could she give this wonderful feeling up? She knew they could survive, together. She knew it. They were strong. They supported each other. They helped each other to grow strong, to reach the top. That's what love's all about, and in that case they had the strongest kind of love that there was. How could he not believe in what they had? In their love? In their beauty? It didn't matter that she was so much younger than him, it didn't matter that she was still a little child. But he had to believe. He had to, he just had to! Please believe in us! Please believe!
Lilly sniffled slightly and held herself to him. Her body was shaking so badly, trembling like a dying leaf on autumn wind. He laid a hand on her trembling back, as if he were trying to still her. It was a gentle caress, but the child's entire body slowly relaxed under his one hand. It made her realized how much she actually needed his touch. That was how special he was, no matter what anyone said, in it he always showed love for her. That was something in him that had always drawn her to him.
"I need you..." She whispered under her breath. "You need me. Together we will thrive and become strong. Please..." Lilly breathed out and felt his heart beating softly. She listened and relaxed against him.
It grew silent again. But it was a very different silence than before. In this silence her hope was growing. Her hope grew and grew and bubbled over. And as the hope grew it pushed out all the pain she'd had for so long now. All the pain was pushed away as the hope grew and the silence echoed.
He smiled at her, her words sinking in. She was right and he knew it. He knew it because he loved her more than anything. He knew that together they could make it. Maybe before he didn't really look into his heart well enough. Maybe it was fear. Maybe it was something else that stopped him from realizing it before.
"I believe in you."
She felt relief flood her being. She let out her breath. She didn't know she'd been holding it.
"We can make it. But only together. We'll run away where no one will find us and hurt us ever again. Will you promise? Will you care for me?" She laid her head on his shoulder.
"Yes... I promise. I love you. I love you. And our love will make us strong enough to conquer anything." He cupped her head in his hand. The gentle, loving touch sent electricity rushing through the little girl. Could he feel it too? She knew he could. He'd felt it all along. "I'm ... I'm sorry. I'll never doubt us again, I promise."
"You never did doubt. You were afraid for me, but you never doubt us." She smiled at him broadly. Then a burst of joy overcame her as she realized he was back. He was back. Joyful tears clouded her big eyes. In a burst of gladness, she pulled herself to him, kissing his mouth passionately with all the love she'd kept stored inside her since the beginning of time.
When their lips met it was like heaven, like every thing she had ever achieved was for this moment. She kissed him, and was the happiest girl in the universe. Her hands slid to hold around his neck, pulling her body as close to his as deemed possible. She could feel his hands holding her up and running up and down her back. He was driving her wild. The kiss deepened and deepened, like it would never end. And she never wanted it to end. A rush went through her as she felt their bodies pressed closely against each other. She moaned with happiness. Sparks all over. This was love for sure.
The kiss was broken, and Lilly laid her head on his shoulder again. "I love you, I love you, I love you," little girl whispered softly in his ear. He gently kissed her neck. She laid against him feeling happier than ever in my entire life.
"I love you, my Princess," he whispered in her little ear. She could feel hot tears running down his cheeks with joy at the moment. This moment they'd both been waiting for forever. Like a ripple love flowed through them from their hearts all the way out to the ends of their fingers. Then he touched her lips with his again for another passionate kiss, this one even deeper than the first. Her small arms wound around his neck again, pulling her ten-year-old body to press against his chest. His hands slid up her body, which tingled from his touch. A soft moan escaped her shiny lips as she felt his kisses driving to her soul. She held him close as they kissed. She'd never let him go.
His arms around her, hers around him, their lips sealed together as one. They knelt in the park holding each other, their love renewed once again, though in truth it never had been broken. And the rain poured down around them...
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