" Hello, my name is Lucy" , the pretty young brunette told the support group.
" Hi Lucy." Everyone responded. Some of them even sounded like they cared.
" I've been asked to address this group today by Dr. Morrison. I told her that I would be happy to address you all as we have something in common. I too was forced to pose for pictures and movies as a little girl. In my case it was my Uncle and his friends.
" It started on my first birthday. My uncle had bought me a special birthday outfit. It was a burgundy jumper dress. It was cut lower than most, especially on the sides, and was very short barely covering my panties. There was a white sheer top that went underneath the dress. It had long sleeves. A pair of sheer white lycra pantyhose for my legs, black patent shoes and white ribbons for my pigtails completed the outfit. I remember feeling really good, really pretty as my mother helped me get dressed. I loved the way my Uncle cooed over me and while I couldn't understand everything that he was saying I knew that he loved me.
" If only I knew. The day went very well. There were other children from the neighborhood. We were new and I didn't know any of them. I still don't. There was cake and pin the tail on the donkey and tag. My mother hired a clown who made little animals from balloons.
" After the party was over and everyone had left, my mother left for her job. Actually she worked two jobs, afternoon/evenings in the diner and nights as a janitor for a big business in town.
" That evening my Uncle told my mother that he would watch me and she called the Mrs. Phillips and canceled. Usually Mrs. Phillips would come over and sit with me all night. I mean that literally, sitting in a comfortable recliner in my room next to my crib she would rock me until I fell asleep.
" I didn't know many words at that age, but I was bright; still am I suppose. I knew more than most kids at that age. My Uncle talked to me and I heard the word nap. I didn't want to nap and fussed, so he gave me something to drink. Before I knew it I was fast asleep.
" I vaguely remember dreaming, though it wasn't a dream, rather I was waking up a bit and seeing what was going on. One time my Uncle's friend was standing over me, looking at me funny. His hand was on his lower tummy, or so I thought at the time, and he was rubbing it like it hurt him. I didn't like to see people hurting and wanted to give him a hug and make it feel better but I couldn't move my arms. I drifted off to sleep again.
" Some of the other things I remember...I remember waking a bit as someone spanked me. Things were blurry. I wanted to yell but something stuck my mouth closed, though not closed as something soft and icky tasting was inside my mouth. I remember it really hurting, and it went on for a very long time. When the spanking stopped I went to sleep again.
" I woke again to someone smearing something gooey over my face. It felt hot. A bit got in my eye and I tried to rub it but my arms wouldn't work.
" Finally I woke fully. I was lying in my crib, and my muscles hurt. I tried to move but I couldn't. My mouth was still stuck, that icky thing still shoved inside. I looked for Mrs. Phillips but no one was in the chair. I looked across the room and I saw myself in the dressing mirror. I was lying on my tummy, still in my birthday clothes except my shoes had been taken off. White tape was on my face, over my mouth. I had a dress that used a rope for a belt, and that rope was tied around my wrists so they were crossed at the small of my back and then wrapped around my ankles so my legs were bent and pulled close to my hands. Tape wrapped around my legs above my knees. I didn't know what was happening.
" Then I saw a stranger come into my room. A strange man. As I got older I realized he was the man leaning over me playing with himself. He turned to yell something out the door. I heard my Uncle's name and that I was awake. My Uncle came into the room and flipped me roughly over onto my side, so I was facing the mirror. He pulled up my jumper dress and I saw that my pretty panties were gone and the pantyhose had been ripped away from my cunnie area.
" My Uncle picked up a tube of something. I remember thinking that it was toothpaste. He put some of it on his finger and rubbed it all over my cunnie and up inside. It felt good, not like toothpaste at all. He stepped back and I saw the man holding a camera. Mommy had taken a lot of movies of me so I knew that it made pictures that we could see on the wall.
" I looked back at my Uncle. I didn't know why he was staring at me like he was. I didn't have any time to figure things out as it suddenly felt like someone had poured water from the stove on my cunnie. I knew what water from the stove felt like because one time my mother splashed a bit and it burnt my skin. This burned worse than that. I arched my back and screamed. I remember kicking and trying to roll over, anything to get away from the pain that I was feeling down there, inside and outside. I remember the smell. I can't smell that odor without wanting to cover myself down there.
" I felt the sticky give way from my upper lip. My Uncle said something naughty and grabbed a roll of tape from my dresser. He was tall and was next to me in a couple of steps. He lifted me until I was kneeling. This pulled on the rope around my wrists and hurt my wrists and shoulders something awful. He ripped the tape off of my mouth and I remember feeling a sharp pain as the tape took a little skin with it. He used his thumbs to shove the icky cloth, it was a woman's stocking by the way, further into my mouth. I choked on it. He then wrapped the tape around my face tight. My face felt like it was squeezed in a vice. He took off his belt and I remember trying to cringe away from him. I had seen the little boy who lived next door get a whupping from his father with a belt and I thought that was going to happen to me. I even forgot the pain in my cunnie for a moment.
" He didn't hit me with the belt. Rather he looped it through the buckle. Looking back I remember the belt was about two inches wide, about the length of my neck by the way, and had a roller buckle with two tangs. Or is it tines? Those things that fit through holes in the belt and keep it from slipping back out.
" He took the belt and put it over my head. I looked up at him, my eyes wide, not knowing what was going to happen next. He snugged the belt around my neck and then used it to lift me up onto my knees. With my hands tied to my feet this drew up on my legs and my thigh muscles started to cramp. But I really didn't notice this too much, or my still burning cunnie. The belt squeezed my neck. I could breathe but it was wheezy and I had to work at it. My head started to pound and my ears felt like someone was banging on a drum inside them. I could see myself in the mirror, hanging from the belt. It was clipped to a chain over my crib that used to hold my hanging play toy.
" My Uncle let go of the chain and stepped back. He must have pulled on it somewhat as I remember swaying, my knees pivoting on the sheets. I tried to scream but the pressure from the belt kept me from making any sound. The room started to get dark when he suddenly let me down. I plopped onto the mattress face down, my head hanging out over the edge. He pulled my head back and used a knife to cut the tape and pull it back from my mouth though it still wrapped around behind my head, and he pulled the cloth from inside. I drew a long breath and coughed. I wailed.
" My Uncle grabbed me by one of my pigtails and pushed this ugly long thing at my mouth. It came from inside of his zipper and I thought it was a snake, like the one on my favorite cartoon. Before I could shut my mouth he forced it inside until I choked again. He grabbed my other pigtail and used them as handles as he shoved the thing in and out of my mouth. He did it real slow and just as I thought it was going to finally pop out he pushed it back in again.
" By now my cunnie was numb. My neck hurt more and my jaws which were spread as wide as they could be spread by his member. Suddenly something hot and sticky and salty filled my mouth. I tried to swallow the stuff, which smelled like the stuff that was smeared on my face the night before, but there was too much and I spit the rest out. A big glob landed on Uncles boots. His prized leather cowboy boots.
" He howled and held me up on my knees by my left pigtail and he slapped me hard across the face with his right hand. He said something like " witch" which was a word that I knew because I was one for Halloween two weeks before. The slap hurt and I tasted something bitter added to the salty taste of the stuff that came out of his snake.
" He picked up the icky cloth and used it to wipe his boot before pushing it into my mouth again. He wrapped tape around my face tighter than before and even wrapped tape over my eyes. I got them closed just in time.
" He picked me up and dropped me onto the mattress face down. The air went out of my lungs with a whoosh. I felt rough hands lift my wrists and tie something there. Then my arms were pulled away from my body and I was lifted until only my lower tummy was on the mattress. It felt like my arms were going to pull out of my sockets. Then I felt someone tighten the belt around my neck and pulled it around the rope so it pulled my head up. Something was tied around my upper arms pulling them tighter together and putting more strain on my wrists.
" I heard Uncle and his friend leave.
" It felt like forever before I heard my mommies voice. She was yelling and Uncle was yelling and then I felt someone untying me. It was my mommy. She was real careful as she let me free. She held me as the feeling returned to my body, which hurt more than before. I remember looking up into her eyes and seeing anger there. I thought she was mad at me. She touched the spot where my face had been torn and at the finger bruises on the side of my face. She turned to Uncle and called him an Idiot, which he was.
" As she got up with me in her arms she said something to Uncle in a soft voice, something that she had said to me lots of times in my short life. She said, 'Be more careful next time.'
" My nightmare was just starting."
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