Necrophilia: A Beginner's Guide (FAQ)
By Theoderich (anonymous address)
Very few text files have been written regarding the
sexual tendencies and practices of necrophiliacs. While
most people would prefer to believe that we do not
exist-we most certainly do-as is obvious to anyone who
visits a cemetery during our nightly rampages.
Necrophiliacs prefer to go about their business alone;
sharing is not a part of this alternative lifestyle as
the corpse usually wears out fairly quickly. This is
not to say that the occasional orgy involving four or
five necrophiliacs and about a dozen or so corpses does
not occur, but it is very rare.
In this file I will describe common (and some uncommon)
techniques, which necrophiliacs use to gain
satisfaction from their stiff partners. Hopefully these
vivid descriptions will encourage you to go out to your
local cemetery and to join our ranks!
II: Finding a Partner
Finding a partner for your necrophiliac activities is
definitely the hardest part. You not only have to gain
access to the corpse but you also have to find one,
which suits your tastes. Granted, some necrophiliacs
would screw road kill if given the chance but most of
us are more discriminating. Your chances depend upon
where you pick up your date.
If you have access to a morgue it would definitely be
your best bet as the corpses there are usually the
freshest and have not yet been treated for burial. They
may be a bit chilly because they've been lying in the
meat locker for days but that really shouldn't make a
big difference to the determined necrophiliac.
Cemeteries are a bit harder to deal with as finding a
screwable corpse is harder to do. However, if you know
how to interpret signs this shouldn't be a problem. If
a grave consists of a mound of fresh dirt and is
covered with flowers, chances are that the stiff hasn't
been lying there for too long.
Rotting flowers on the mound usually hint to the state
of the corpse as well. Some people are exclusively into
'porking the bone', i.e. sex with skeletons. In this
case you can dig up almost any grave and hope that the
inhabitant hasn't yet disintegrated into dust. Try to
scope out a fairly secluded cemetery for your passions
unless you like a sense of danger to go along with the
Having anyone catch you in the act is NOT fun, and if
you're picked up by a cop chances are that you won't be
able to screw anything but Bubba behind bars for the
next few decades. People are generally not
understanding of the necrophiliac lifestyle, so it will
probably be a long time before we can come out of the
Depending upon where you are at this point you'll have
either a little or a lot of work to do. The person in
the morgue will obviously have to do little more than
to open the locker, pull the corpse out and bang away.
If you're one of the cemetery people you'll have more
work to do. An experienced necrophiliac is always
equipped with the bare essentials: a shovel, Vaseline
and a box of rubbers.
Why the shovel is needed should be obvious, but if the
ground is hard then you might need more equipment to
dig up your date. Vaseline is used to loosen the corpse
up a bit. This makes it less likely for a body part to
break off while you're having fun and it also prevents
your dick from becoming too irritated while screwing
the dried out pussy.
The BOX of condoms is used to play it safe; no
necrophiliac should be without it. You never know which
STDs your partner had during his/her lifetime, and
believe me; it doesn't get any better after the person
dies. You can put on more than one rubber for extra
protection if it is warranted, but screwing a corpse
without protection is just plain stupid unless you want
to be the next date for a necrophiliac.
If you're in a cemetery try to drag the corpse out of
the grave and behind a bush or to another secluded
place. Pumping away in the grave may seem more
convenient, but it's a severe disadvantage to you if
you need to take off in a hurry. Sometimes the corpse
is too fragile to be moved; in that case make it fast.
Or just break off the head, hand or lower torso and
take it with you for added convenience.
Part IV: Techniques
So now you've got a stiff lying seductively in front of
you, but you have no idea how to start. How you proceed
from this point onward really depends upon what kind of
person you are. The corpse will last longer if you
treat it gently and with care, but if you prefer to go
all out you'll probably receive greater satisfaction.
There are many differences between screwing a live and
a dead person which one needs to be aware of. Firstly,
a corpse will never tell you to "get off of it" if
you're being a bit rough and it will never complain no
matter what "kinky sexual practices" you may employ.
Screwing a corpse is also much more predictable because
you can raise an arm, leg or whatever and it will still
be in that position when you reach for it again. Take
the arms and gently lock them in an embrace behind your
back, or spread the legs to make sex a bit easier.
If you want a great blowjob then lubricate your
partner's mouth, lock it to your preferred width,
insert and go for it. Although there's no tongue
stimulation it's still worthwhile, and it's also safer
than conventional sex.
Corpses can also be recycled if treated properly. If
you're a proficient embalmer you can keep a corpse for
over five years if it has been properly embalmed.
That's free sex whenever you want it! You naturally
don't want to be too rough with an embalmed corpse
because they are more fragile.
One final advantage of screwing corpses is that they
are always in abundance. Based upon your sexual
preferences you can designate a cemetery or a morgue as
your territory and always find fresh partners to screw.
Plus you don't have to resort to cheesy pickup lines or
spend all your money in order to get a date.
Necrophilia is a passion, which is cheaply satisfied.
I hope that this text file will encourage you to go out
and try necrophilia. Not many people do it, but that's
precisely what makes it so much fun; it makes you feel
special! If no living person would touch you with a 10-
foot pole then try having sex with a corpse! Some of
them are real beauties and it's an experience you'll
There is no greater experience for a virgin than having
his/her virginity taken by a corpse.
Anyways, have fun and if you have any experiences you'd
like to share then by all means do! Maybe necrophilia
will enter the mainstream because of your efforts.
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