("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._ `6_ 6 ) `-. ( ).`-.__.`) (_Y_.)' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-' _..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,' (((' (((-((('' (((( K R I S T E N' S C O L L E C T I O N _________________________________________ WARNING! This text file contains sexually explicit material. If you do not wish to read this type of literature, or you are under age, PLEASE DELETE THIS FILE NOW!!!! _________________________________________ Scroll down to view text -------------------------------------------------------- This work is copyrighted to the author © 2006. Please don't remove the author information or make any changes to this story. You may post freely to non-commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites. Thank you for your consideration. -------------------------------------------------------- A True Fascination With Rape by Silk (obsidianandcream@yahoo.com) *** Ok so I have to give you a little background. I am not a virgin. I had sex with one person about 6 months ago and lets just say that it wasn't enjoyable. No he didn't rape me. Well he didn't really. I mean if the definition of rape is, girl-says-no-guy-doesn't-care- and-girl-doesn't-enjoy-it, well yeah he did. But you know the strange part is, and it took me months to admit it to myself, I wanted him to. (MF, nc, rp, mast, bd) *** Ok so I have to give you a little background. I am not a virgin. I had sex with one person about 6 months ago and lets just say that it wasn't enjoyable. No he didn't rape me. Well he didn't really. I mean if the definition of rape is, girl-says-no-guy-doesn't-care- and-girl-doesn't-enjoy-it, well yeah he did. But you know the strange part is, and it took me months to admit it to myself, I wanted him to. Not the whole stupid "No! No!" and he does it anyway crap but the actually, force-me-down-fuck-me and-make-me-like-it, thing. Now here is the weird part. I came out as a lesbian about a year and a half ago. Yeah, yeah I KNOW. As it was I didn't even cum. I didn't get aroused. Now I know what your thinking. Maybe I don't really like guys. And I haven't all my life. Not that it would have mattered if I did cause I'm fat and I've never even been asked on a date. But, after the incident, my first actually sexual encounter, I started fantasizing like crazy about rape. I searched the net and read everything I could find. There wasn't much so I went to porn and spent a few nights a week watching the stupid two second clips on the porn web sites that were enough to help me cum but full of sucky actors and overly pretty rapists and rape 'victims.' The thing was after I came the whole thing would disgust me. Not myself, I'm usually disgusted by that, but the rape was no longer arousing. And another thing I like watching women be raped by men. Every once in a while I'd watch men raping men but mostly I like watching women be held down and raped. Now if you're a lesbian you can understand me cause you know. I liked the women. Yes I enjoyed pretending I was being raped but I liked the idea of raping a women too. And not as a woman, remember I don't like lesbian rape. Much. But don't get me wrong I like being a woman. I DON'T want to be a man. Ick. But the whole control be in control thing appealed to me. Now I must admit I am a man hater. I've drove two men to hate me with such a passion they kicked me out. The one I fucked 6 months ago included. I am not an easy person to live with. But I don't want to hurt a man with rape. I want him to hurt me. Yeah, yeah I don't get it either. So there it is. My beginning spiral into the pit of rape, pain, and despair. Well actually this one isn't very exciting. If your looking to get off you probably won't do it here. I moved to Massachusetts about a month in a half ago. Kicked out cause I wouldn't fuck the stupid idiot mentioned above. I moved in with a nice family and was a nanny to their kids. Yes I still did the rape porn search. As it turned out that job didn't work and 2 weeks ago I moved again. Into a house with 5 guys in it. It cost me 550 a month including utilities to rent a room with two walls open to the rest of the house and only covered by sheets. Now get your sick perverted mind out of the gutter. I have not fucked any person in the house nor do I expect to. They know I'm lezzi so that shouldn't be a problem. Well shouldn't in all theory. Do keep in mind the first guy I was with was only attracted to me cause I was a lesbian. Back to the room. I was put down right next to the T and I only had to pay first months rent. It was the first place on my list. And when the next month started sneaking around the corner the owner just unhappily expected not to get mine. I still hope to prove him wrong. Back on subject. I can honestly say it started with the Kristen Archives. Or maybe alt.com. I came across The Kristen Archives and nearly wetted myself with joy. Actually I did. Repeatedly. Then after I had a little more knowledge I had a thought. I weigh 200lb last time I checked. I've been to scared to check since then. I also didn't eat for two weeks since then. But I thought there might be guys out there who like fat women. Hmm. This thought occurred one night when I was to horny to think. I had come across a place where you can post yourself for rape on the net. I tried looking for it, fighting to wade through the muck of porn that causes the internet to be so slow. Finally I found it. Alt.com I was overjoyed. It was something like the place for alternative lifestyles or something. I posted my profile. FatWomanFerRP was soon up, without a pic cause I didn't want to risk anyone I knew seeing it but in retrospect if they were there to see it they couldn't be one to talk. I specifically put it up for men, and listed my interest in all things I'd ever read about and thought might be interesting. Under what you write about yourself I became one of those horrible profiles where the woman repeated what she wants with out verity. It was something like I Want Rape, Anytime, Anywhere. Raperaperapre etc. You get the picture. I posted it and waited. The next day there was one response. It was more than I expected. I wrote him and sent him a pic of me when I was 18 and had long hair. Not much different looking and the only picture I had. He never wrote back. But as I had gotten a response I felt bold, and horny, and winked at like 10 guys who looked interesting. I wrote to a few in a quick im type way. Don't ask me why I guess I wanted to disguise how I really talked A lot of response after that. One guy stood out. I didn't really get a good pic of him but he did sound most promising. BeYourself was 57, I like older guys and could never date one less then 10 years my senior, and he was a dom. He had two other 'Cherished Whores' and if I earned it I might be number three. I first emphasized that I wanted rape and he wrote back saying that rape to him meant rough sex and pleasure pain. I agreed to meet with him. He had me call to confirm. His voice was very nice and made me think of a professor or something. We decided had arranged to have dinner. Actually it was kinda bad cause I ended up canceling a job interview to meet with him, me who still has no job after 2 weeks of looking, and I left an hour in a half before I was supposed to go. I wasted time, walking around air conditioned stores and when I finally located the place I waited until 10 minutes before we were to meet. At first I waited at the back entrance, then when he did show I got nervous and went to the front. But I am a baby and it was boiling hot so I went back and forth. Finally at the back entrance I met him. Now I can't tell you if he was handsome. I am not a good judge of guys looks due to the fact I don't look at guys. He was orange. Well not orange but a good red orange color. Due to what who knows but he wasn't fat nor ugly. He was bald. And when I shook his hand it was like shaking a ladies, as the grip was so light. He was nice. We talk, I talked to much, and I didn't eat cause I was so nervous. It was really surprising , considering if you look at if a certain way, it was my first date. And he was nice. We had so many of the same interests that it was scary. I liked him as a person and we didn't really talk about any but each other's normal lives. After about 3 hours we left. He took me home. Surprise, surprise, he had a nice car. I mean really nice. Turns out he was an appraiser. Of rich houses. That was a plus. I have often told my mom that if I ever married it would be an old guy, about to croak, who was sticking rich with no family. He dropped me off at the corner of my house. I wasn't trying to hide where I lived. I immediately wrote him after I got home and basically told him I'd like to continue. I received a response rather fast with detailed instructions. I was to email him from then on at his email address. I was to be called my him S. As in the first letter of my name. I could trust him. Green, Red, and Yellow were my safe words. I was a fuck whore. That type of stuff. I reread it about 3 times and then wrote him. I admit I wrote him a rather long letter and explained about an accident I was in when I was little that left major scars. I expected that to scare him off. I told him when I was available. I asked some questions and basically betrayed myself as completely insecure if I hadn't done it already. Then I wrote him back again asking what to do about the alt messages I kept getting. He didn't write back for a day in a half. I was a nervous wreck. I paced continually. I checked my email every 10 minutes. I wasn't even in love or attracted to the guy and I had myself worked up into a tither. When he did write back he said he hadn't read my letters yet but to go ahead and make plans for the weekend. I tortured myself some more. I had just decided he didn't want me and had written me off. It was Sunday afternoon. When he wrote. He said we could meet at the T station by my house. He outlined every move carefully. We would have sushi and watch a movie. Then, while he said he wouldn't give me any details, I would be restrained, blindfolded, impaled on his symbian, I looked it up it's a odd type of vibrator attached to a base, and forced to have multiple orgasms, I must ask to come, and my face, ass and tits would be slapped. I would be forced to suck his cock. He wouldn't fuck my pussy or ass; I had to earn that. I was to be on time. I was to leave a message on his voice mail confirming. I called the wrong number. I knew it was wrong because the last digits he gave me were 1987 and I remember when I first called him the last four digits were 1986 the same as my birth year. A woman answered and I said I was calling to leave a message. I tell you it freaked me out to think that this might be one of his girls. She said why don't I just talk to her and I asked if this was the right number. She said yes. Finally I asked if he lived there. She said no. I finally did get his number right and left a message. He emailed me 5 minutes later and told me to take a shower. I had already planned on it. But as it happened I ended up taking three before I left. Stupid girl I am I decided to wear a brand new black shirt. I put it on right after my shower and ended up covered in black fuzz that didn't come off. I took a shower again and after much scrubbing got it off but made the same mistake again. After a third shower I chose a shirt with out that material. As it was I was overly pissed. He wrote back and asked if my previous injuries let me kneel. I told him I could do anything but stay standing for more than 3 hours and jump. He picked me up at 7:30 and we went to his place. He had a mannequin at the top of his stairs. His place was above a sewing store and had no separate rooms. We watched Last Holiday with Queen Latifa and had sushi. He had a beautiful chair in his living room and I kept admiring it. It wasn't until I looked at it for the 5th or 6th time that I realized there was a whip, and other kinky stuff of it. After the sushi, which was excellent, he put padded wrist cuffs on me, a collar, and a blindfold also padded. Then he took off my shoes and pulled me up. He pulled off my shirt and took off my pants. I am fat remember so I have this neat corset thing that acts as a bra and goes down to hook under the crotch while flattening my stomach. He took off that too. Then my well worn cotton black under wear. Then he just touched me very lightly, here and there. I remember his face was rough a little from growing all day. He let me over to the symbian, I could see through the bottom of the blindfold, and told me to sit on it and put it in my pussy. I did and it was odd but not uncomfortable. Then he turned it on and for the first time I felt vibration there. It wasn't all that its cracked up to be. He had it on for a while then he put his cock in my mouth. It was odd. I could taste salty pre-cum on it and it tasted better then mine. But the texture was different. It was rather smooth and the head was distinct. I did the best I could. I had read a lot so I did what I remembered. I expected him to cum but he didn't. He pulled out of my mouth and turned the vibrator up. I enjoyed it a little but it wasn't stimulating. I tried but I couldn't cum. I asked to cum once but wasn't sure if I was going to so he never said yes. It was not enjoyable, the story of my life. He put his dick back in my mouth which I think I liked better then trying to cum myself. I had set out on this to please him not be please though hopefully that would be a bonus. I kinda swallowed his dick a couple times and whenever I did it I gagged but I think I liked it. Finally he went back to torturing me with the stupid sybian. I kept telling him it wasn't working but he kept telling me to relax. Finally I told him I wasn't getting anywhere. He turned it off and pulled me up. It was a relief to be off it. He took off the blind fold and put me in his bed. We laid there side my side and I told him I hadn't been able to cum with another person. I mentioned the lezzi thing but kinda glossed over the majority of it. We talked. He touched my pussy and said it was pretty. I don't know why, I don't think so, but I've now been told twice that I have a pretty pussy. Men are odd. I then sucked his dick. I licked his balls. It was odd but I got the feeling I would enjoy it one day. Finally he put on a rubber and fucked my pussy. Now here is where part of my problem is. As a teen I masturbated I enjoyed the attentions of a red ,octagonal vase that is just the size of my pussy. Therefore my pussy is large. I couldn't even feel his dick. He finally pulled out cause and told me he wasn't going to cum unless I did. Disappointing I'm sure as I didn't and he finally took me home. I wrote him an apology and told him I'd like to try again. He wrote back and said sure I should email him in the next couple of days if I didn't hear from him. And that I could do what I wanted with the alt messages but I should be careful. So I wrote this guy Duc who emailed my alt account. He's really into rape. We're going to meet Wednesday. Maybe he'll rape me. I think I'm looking forward to him raping my mouth. Ok the afterword... I do not condone rape, its wrong, don't do it. Blah, blah, blah. This is fiction, its not real, blah, blah, blah. I did mention real web sites. They're cool check them out. This is my first story be nice. I wasn't trying to win a prize or even be largely entertaining. I plan on writing a second one. Keep reading please. Tell me what you think. And do you want to edit for me? I would be grateful! Share with me. Any bizarre stories? obsidianandcream@yahoo.com ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ This story was written as an adult fantasy. The author does not condone the described behavior in real life. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Kristen's collection - Directory 46