Title: Knorg’s Vampire Tarot

Category: Paranormal
Author Pen name: Knorg
Email: paxgronk@hotmail.com
Description: These card stories use a variety of well-known and popular as well as more obscure characters, from Marge Simpson to Elvis, from Bloodrayne to Jon Arbuckle, as well as my own characters. Each story is around 1000 words.

Stories: Death/Rebirth by Vampire, catfight, sex, girl-on-girl, and similar. 

 

Song lyrics used without permission.

Characters/places/trademarks that aren’t mine are used for this parody without permission.

This story concept is a parody of Fifteen Painted Cards from a Vampire Tarot by Neil Gaiman.

 

XII. Hanged Man

 

In the hours before the cold November night John Connor lay on his side in the dank, dark Condemned Cell and reflected upon his life. Blood trickled down his scabbing back; flogged raw the previous day in punishment for most of the lesser crimes of which he’d been accused. The pain was intense but, in a strange way, deserved. There was no denying he’d received a fair trial before the high court, that he was as guilty as hell of just about every crime against the Empress’s laws that he possibly could be.

 

“Last meal.” The warder pushed the tray under the bars of the cage and, as John caught his eye, winked. Moving painfully from his bunk, John ate his last meal; a simple soup and glass of water. The Empress was a traditionalist; she liked the concept of a last meal.

 

***

 

The Empress’ personal executioner led him naked onto the platform. She too was naked but for the leather hood over her head and even that was cut to show her mouth. The Empress loved a show, almost as much as the shouting and clapping crowd, eager to see his blood spilled. Behind the mob, sat on a wooden thrown inlaid with fine jewels, gold, and the bones of humans, sat the empress. There was a red carpet path laid through the crowd; nobody would dare stand on it.

 

John had heard tell that the executioner, Mary-Kate, resented the empress almost as much as the rebels. It was said she despised the blood-change wrought in herself and her sister. Looking into her eyes through the holes in the mask, John could see no evidence of sympathy or compassion. The executioner read the charge sheet to the baying of the crowd; she told them all what they knew: This was John Connor, lieutenant to the rebel leader, one of the most wanted men in the empire. He stood proudly before the crowd and glared over their heads at the Empress. She looked… satisfied. That John’s actions had hurt enough for his death to satisfy the blood empress was another source of pride; he smiled through his gag.

 

The executioner’s similarly masked assistant, her twin sister Ashley, came on to push John to the ground. Together they lifted his feet up to the gibbet and tied him up. His breath steamed in the cold night air as rope was lashed around his ankles. John’s head hung inches off the ground as Ashley roughly forced the bung into his ass; there would be no contamination of blood with faeces. He felt cold lips on the head of his penis; he responded as Mary-Kate gently tongued his shaft, bringing him to hardness. The first precum was leaking into her undead mouth as she pulled off and slipped a too-tight strap-ring down to the base of the swollen meat, tightened it further.

 

The hollers of the crowd increased as Mary-Kate looked to the Empress for assent. She received a single nod. The pale-skinned blonde dropped to her knees so that John’s upturned head hung between her thighs. They called it the ‘Executioners Portion’. The vampire shivered as hot breath ruffled her fair pubic hair. He felt cold hands grasp his shaven skull as he ran his eyes over her. Clearly already excited, her large and swollen labia were glistening with juice. Yanking the gag from his mouth, Mary-Kate pulled John’s face into her crotch.

 

The crowd and empress watched appreciatively as Mary-Kate humped against his face. She rested her head against his belly so that his rampant penis rubbed in her hair. Gasping with pleasure, she felt John’s tongue working on her labia. He wanted to get her off quickly; to speed the execution. Working his tongue inside the alabaster pale flesh he tasted the vampires arousal.

 

Ashley ran her hands down John’s bloodied back, causing him to shake with the pain; to whimper into Mary-Kate’s wet vampire pussy. She didn’t taste the blood; none may drink the blood of the high-court-condemned before the Empress. Clutching him tightly to her cold body, so that her own fingers dug into the shuddering man’s bloody back, Mary-Kate rubbed herself off against John’s face, cumming explosively as he sucked her clit into his mouth and flicked it with an experienced tongue. Sticky vampire juices splashed across his face as Mary-Kate howled, almost fracturing his skull betwixt her thighs.

 

Panting for air she didn’t need as old habits died hard, the masked Mary-Kate stood.

 

“Get the bowl. Get the knife.”

 

Ashley walked to the edge of the wooden platform and lifted a large, deep bowl fashioned from gold. Inside were a knife, and a cloth. The sticky-thighed Mary-Kate took the cloth from the bowl and mopped the juices from John’s face, cleaned his skull of drips. Often, the condemned would be using this time to shout, to harangue the crowd. John was silent. Tossing the Cloth aside, the twins lifted John’s head and pushed the bowl until he hung dead centre over it.

 

Ashley knelt behind him and held his head steady as Mary-Kate took up the knife.

 

“Last words?”

 

The crowd fell silent. John’s eyes found the empress. Hung upside down, dizzy from all the blood rushed to his had, he still spoke clearly,

 

“There is no fate but what we make.”

 

The roaring began anew as Mary-Kate took up the knife and slit John’s throat. Together, the sisters directed the arterial spray into the bowl; when it was filled the entire crowd would be permitted to drink of the condemned man; to share in the Empress’ victory. John seemed to feel no pain, as everything grew harder to see around him. He locked eyes with the Empress as everything faded to white.

 

The Empress’ lady in waiting walked down the red carpet with a goblet and scooped up a cupful of John’s blood from the bowl. Walking sedately back through the crowd she knelt before the Empress. Standing, taking the goblet, the empress drained John’s blood.

 

“My People! I… I…” Groaning suddenly, she grasped at her suddenly bloating stomach, dropped to her knees ”What is this? oh no…

 

The explosion levelled the imperial palace, causing the fleeing warder to turn and watch appreciatively.