Lessa sat, looking at Don's lifeless body.
****
Bell pulled the curtain closed around the bed at the far end of sickbay. Vince was finally sedated, and his leg set about as well as she could do with less than a year's training. It would be a bit shorter than the other, but nothing could be done about that. He was lucky she didn't just cut it off: that would have saved her hours of effort.
She looked over at the other side of the room. Her twin Bella was testing out her bandaged right arm, flexing and not feeling much pain now. That would change once the drugs wore off. Bell would have to see how soon they could be resupplied before being too liberal with the pain killers. Especially if things stayed this bad.
Her eyes glanced over to the door to the... well, morgue. No other name would make the room seem any better. Lessa was still in there, and had been for hours. Shelly sat outside, her expression... Bell couldn't really say. Guessing exactly what was going through the older girl's head was never a good idea. There were depths there that she didn't want to travel down, for all she considered the dark haired girl a friend. Others had said she used to be a happy, care free person. Bell had only seen flashes of that. Almost as if she sensed Bell's thoughts, Shelly looked over. Seeing both twins were free she stood, body protesting physically and emotionally, and both she and Bell walked over to Bella and sat on empty patient beds next to her.
"Vince OK?" Shelly asked. She glanced over at the enclosed area, then back at the twins. Bell nodded.
"Best we can do. None of us are really good at surgery, although it would have been better if Lessa was..."
"Hey, she needs space!" Shelly almost growled her rebuke, and Bell held up her hands in supplication.
"I know! I know! I'm not suggesting she's in the wrong here! I'm just pointing out our medical staff is a bit small and two are somewhat out of action." She looked at her sister, who replied with a meek shrug and rubbed the bandage. "We probably should never ever send the entire medical staff off the ship again. That was stupid." She shook her head.
Shelly reached over and rubbed her back a bit.
"All of us are stupid, in some way or another."
"I'm not", Bella chimed in, but it was an automatic attempt at humor with no real feeling behind it. Shelly ignored her.
"We're more than prepared for some things, and all think we know more than enough to handle the universe outside, but..."
"What HAPPENED to Lessa? I saw it, but... I just can't process it."
Bell looked at Shelly, worry in her eyes.
"Is she going to be OK?"
Shelly closed her eyes, hands clutching each other in her lap.
"She never has been."
****
Lessa sat, looking at Don's lifeless body.
****
Sean and Kine were well on their way to being drunk.
The two sat on opposite sides of the table in the conference room behind the bridge. The tall blond had a pitcher of fruit beer sitting in front of him, half empty, partly covering various displays on the screen built into the table. He wasn't bothering with a mug, as pouring would just take up valuable drinking time. He did consider using a straw, though. Sean, on the other hand, had a bottle of brown liquor and a very small glass. You try and pour more than a shot full down your throat, he learned his first year in the Guard, and it would burn everything both on the way down and on the way back up. Scrolling the figures on his own screen, he downed another shot and automatically got a refill. He looked over at Kine.
"I don't know how you guys can drink that fruit stuff. It goes down like water and takes forever to do anything."
"That's the idea," Kine said, taking another gulp. "Get the kids drunk but not TOO drunk. As for me, Amanda's going to drink whatever I drink so I'm sticking to this."
"She's not here," Sean reminded him, picking up the bottle and offering it. Kine gave a half smile and shook his head, the bottle returning to its proper home at Sean's side.
"So," Kine said, changing the subject, "while we're flush with cash, there's no way we can even think about trying for another planetary orbit without resupplying. We have to find a safe port. After that..." He looked up at the dark skinned teen. "... I'm for finding someplace to hide for a month or two and just listen in on the universe. Find out what the fuck is going on out there before we stumble into something else lethal."
"But WHERE?" Sean just shook his head, rolling the full shot glass in his fingers. Had to pace himself. "Even I thought London was totally safe, immune from conflict. Now... I mean, have you listened to the chatter out there? The entire Hikaru system is blowing up, if even half the stuff is to be believed. Rebels aren't going to let neutral ships anywhere near them, we're probably in the Fed databases by now, and anyplace independent is shutting down and trying not to be noticed. We're fucked."
Kine raised his pitcher in a toast.
"To being fucked!"
Sean raised his glass, and both downed their drink.
"Speaking of which," Kine said, leaning back in his chair, "how's Vince? Gonna be OK?"
Sean poured another shot, looked at it, then reluctantly decided he really couldn't send it down after its sibling yet. He leaned back in his own chair as well.
"Yeah... yeah, that's what the girls said. The fucking idiot..." Sean trailed off. He considered, debating how much if anything to say. He picked up his drink again, figuring that would probably really help the decision making process, then put it back down and leaned forward with his arms on the table, looking at Kine.
"Look, man, I have to ask you... have you ever just suddenly lost respect for someone you were with?" Kine looked up, startled, leaning forward on the table as well. Sean's eyes wandered around the room, trying to focus his thoughts. "I mean... he's a bitch. A weak, whiny, bitch. OK, I kinda knew that already, and it was kinda fun and different, but... I want a MAN, damn it! If I wanted a whiny girl, I'd go for girls!"
Kine chuckled.
"Mel and Jenny are twice the man Vince is, and Lessa's dick would split you wide open."
"Exactly! I kind of lived with it before, but... I don't think I can now." He decided it was time for another shot, closing his eyes as the liquid made its way down his throat to do its work. His hands refilled the glass. He sighed, opening his eyes and looking at Kine. "I still care for him, though, and just dumping him now seems... evil."
"Evil, human, same thing."
"And also," Sean went on, his mind suddenly realizing something, "how come I had to go find some punk runaway on a moon to finally find someone who even swung that way, yet we have girls pairing up everywhere?!? Not fair, man!"
"Maybe it's something in the water," Kine chuckled, "or, like you, they're just disappointed in the quality of the boys here but, unlike you, have decided to switch teams."
Sean blew a raspberry.
"Believe me, if looking at one of them did ANYTHING for me I'd probably be tempted." He looked over at Kine and raised an eyebrow. "Any chance of getting you into my cabin?"
"Fuck you!"
"That's what I'm asking."
"I wouldn't fuck you with Lessa's cock!"
****
Lessa sat, looking at Don's lifeless body.
****
"My gods, Amanda, you should have SEEN what she did!"
The three preteens sat on the garden path. Amanda's eyes were wide in unbelieving horror as Sirenia told the tale of Lessa's transformation. Wendi sat silently.
"I just don't believe..."
"Believe!" Sirenia waved her hands in emphases. "I mean, she took off after those soldiers like a demon, and when she got there..." She shuddered. "It was hard to see, but it's like... she just cut them up. Like they were animals. Wendi had the binoculars, she could tell you." They both turned to the brown haired girl. Wendi looked only half seeing at them.
"She was... incredible."
"Incredibly fucked up you mean! She wasn't human!"
Amanda hugged her knees.
"I... we knew the stories about her. I was afraid she was this horrible monster who would kill and eat me when I found out she'd joined our group. But... she's so nice! I LIKE her! She's nothing like the stories!"
"Till now," Sirenia muttered, darkly. She cast a quick glance at Wendi. Her friend was starting to worry her.
"It's like with Sean," Amanda went on. "We all know the Guard, we all know they're as evil as fuck, and I saw what they did to..." she shook her head, getting that image out of her mind. "But once I got to know him, Sean is fine! Even Kine gets along with him! Just like with Lessa, the stories weren't true!"
"But they were," Sirenia countered. "We just never saw the real Lessa. Never saw her... angry."
"But she'll be OK now, right?" Amanda looked over at Wendi, as if that girl knew the mind of her idol. There was silence for a moment, then just as Sirenia was about to go off again they heard Wendi's soft voice.
"Lessa... is amazing. Her form, her style... yeah, she butchered those people, but they'd just killed her love! Who wouldn't do the same?!" She looked at her friends, not noticing the expressions of unease on their faces. "Lessa is such an incredible warrior. To be ABLE to do that, to have the skill and toughness... I want ..."
Amanda's eyes widened in shock.
"No, Wendi..." she whispered.
Wendi stood. Her two childhood friends looked up at her... and Wendi realized that was, in fact, what they were. Friends made when she was a child of eleven. It was time for her to become more.
The two girls watched as Wendi walked down the path through the flowers, and out the door. Sirenia's hand slid over and covered Amanda's.
"We've lost her..."
****
Lessa sat, looking at Don's lifeless body.
****
Hanna sat on the floor, pinning the pattern to the rolled out fabric.
She had always loved sewing, seeing it as a way to take her mind off of her problems, focusing on the narrow point where needle met cloth. She also loved the joy of creation, of turning plain fabric into beautiful clothing. Hanna had some flair for her own designs, but it was using patterns she most loved. Maybe it was she just liked seeing a plan actually work due to her hard work.
She straightened up, looking over the fabric with a critical eye. Who knew when she could get more, so it was important to make the most efficient cuts possible. Maybe if she moved the sleeves over there, that would leave a bigger piece of extra cloth on the right... or, would Jenny prefer no sleeves? Hanna liked seeing her that way...
The cabin door opened, Jenny entering. Her arms and upper body, as always, were filthy, all the more noticeable because she had tossed a clean shirt over the dirt for the walk home. She took the shirt off as soon as the door closed, tossing it on a chair, and walked over to look down at her lover.
"Having fun?"
"No."
She stood, careful not to step on her handiwork, and leaned in for a tender kiss from Jenny. Pulling back, she raised one hand to look at the slight smudge on it from touching Jenny. She cocked an eye at her wife.
"If we ever go on serious water rations, I'm either going to have to stop sleeping with you or stop sewing. Or just claim the grime is a new fashion statement."
"I'm sure some of those girls would believe it," Jenny said contemptuously, leaning in for another quick kiss before stripping off her shoes and shorts and heading towards the bathroom shower. Hanna followed her.
"What's the word out there. What are they going to do?"
"Beats me," Hanna replied, starting the water and testing the temperature. "Rumor is there'll be a meeting tonight or tomorrow telling us what we want to do."
"Two person democracy at work," Hanna agreed, shaking her head.
"It's not that bad." Jenny adjusted the warm water. "If we can't find someplace... are you OK with staying?" She looked over, her eyes worried. Hanna sometimes forgot how young her chosen was, how inexperienced, how insecure. She removed her own clothing, and stepped into the shower.
"I'll go or stay where you and I can be safe and happy." She held out her hand, and taking it Jenny stepped under the water with her.
****
Lessa stood up.
She looked down at her love. They had killed her love. Killed love in her. Killed... and deserved to be killed. She would kill them. All of them. Everywhere. He would want that. He would want their child to grow up with those responsible dead and gutted. As a loving mother, it was her duty.
She looked at the gold lockets on his chest. They looked dull, in the cold light of the room. The love had gone out of them. Maybe if they had the blood of their enemies on them they would glisten again. Her own seemed to shine now, although Lessa thought it would start to fade soon if she did not renew it with the lives of more killers. She knelt down next to the body, reaching around his neck to remove the necklace. Don looked... un-whole without it. Like a husk. That was proper. Standing, Lessa put the necklace around her own neck, then, reached down and held all three lockets in her right hand while the other traced her slightly swollen belly. She'd give them to their child when the time came. He or she would know both Don and Cynthia, keep their memory alive just as Lessa would now.
And she would keep it alive through death and pain inflicted on the deserving.
Letting the necklaces fall between her breasts, she turned towards the door.
****
The twins and Shelly were still sitting in sickbay when the hall door opened, Wendi entering. Bella looked at her with surprised interest.
"What can we do for you? You hurt?"
"No, no," Wendi said, coming up to them. She looked a bit unsure of herself, but still confident. "Is Lessa here?"
"Depends on your definition of 'here'", Shelly muttered. She jumped off the bed onto the floor. "I really should check on her. She's been alone too long in there."
"Give her more time," Bell said. "There's no hurry now."
The sound of the morgue door opening silenced them. Bell and Bella stood, all four watching as Lessa walked up to them. The three gold lockets gleamed in the light. Shelly looked from them up to Lessa's eyes. The gleam she saw there... was frightening.
"Are you OK, Lessa?" Bella asked. Lessa nodded.
"I'm fine." And... she sounded fine. She sounded... calm. Normal. The sound made Shelly shudder. She'd rather her love be a blubbering mess, at this stage, than to have her be like... this.
Lessa's eyes noticed Wendi, and she raised an eyebrow at the girl. Wendi swallowed, licked her lips, returning the gaze. She seemed to steel herself.
****
Wendy looked up at the goddess before her.
Lessa seemed to glow, with power... and purpose. She held herself like no woman Wendy had ever seen, half noble, half animal. Before, she had been someone to admire. As Lessa stood before her now, she... Wendi wanted to worship her.
"Lessa, I... I'm sorry for your loss. It's all our loss. I know... oh, fuck!" She shook her head, embarrassed, exasperated. All the well thought out words were gone. They all sounded so trite in her mind. She had not expected to feel this way before someone she had known for so long. She looked up at the amused, impatient Lessa. Wendi dropped to one knee.
"Lessa, I want to serve you. I want you to be my teacher. Teach me to fight."
****
The twins and Shelly gasped. Shelly's mind was a whirl. What was this girl thinking? Lessa was hers! SHE was going to serve Lessa, now that she was alone and needed someone! Not some...
Lessa stepped forward, her right hand reaching out to rest on the kneeling girl's head.
"What do you want?" she asked, softly. Wendi bowed her head.
"I want to be your apprentice, squire, ward, whatever. I want you to teach me how to fight and kill, like you do. In return I'll serve you in all ways, protect you and the baby." She looked up, her eyes pleading. "Please, Mistress."
****
Lessa's eyes were wide in shock. She had never even considered... but... she looked down at the girl. There was steel in this one. Raw steel, hot, malleable. Wendi could be forged into a blade, sharp enough to cut the toughest foe. And she could use allies in her as yet unformulated quest. Yes... yes....
"I'm going to dark places, little one. Places no good, sane, person would choose to follow. If you make yourself mine... you will be as my arm, to be commanded at will and obeyed without a second's thought. I will forge you into a weapon, to strike where I Will. Is this what you want?"
"Yes, Mistress..."
"NO!" Shelly looked at the two of them in horror. "Lessa! I'm your only...!"
Lessa regarded her closest friend, eyes sad.
"You won't like what I'm going to do, my love. You won't go there... and you wouldn't survive."
****
Shelly just looked at her. Just looked at the woman she loved. What did she... oh, gods. She's going to...
Shelly closed her eyes. It had come to this. She had seen Lessa in the bloodlust once, before they had abandoned the Federation. Seen the Other. The Horror. There would be no stopping her. Lessa would kill and maim and destroy until some sense of inner vengeance was sated. Shelly would be left behind, left to watch the horizon to see if her love would ever return. It had almost killed her once. The fear, the not knowing. Now...
Her eyes opened, and Shelly dropped to a knee.
"Teach me to survive."
Lessa's eyes bulged. The twins just looked between all of them as if they'd gone insane. Lessa shook her head, a moment's sanity seeming to return to that face.
"Shelly, you don't want..."
"I will never leave your side again, my lovely Lessa. If you're going into the darkness... take me with you."
Wendi stared at Shelly with profound respect. Reaching over, she took the sixteen year olds hand before gazing back up to her idol.
"Teach us, and let us serve you."
Lessa looked down at the two girls... two women. They offered their lives to her. Offered to not let her go off alone, into the darkness. Offered not to try and steer her from this path... but to help her come out the other side alive and sane.
She put a hand on each young woman's head, a line from a book she read long ago appearing before her eyes.
"I accept your lives. I will be your Mistress."