Finalist March 2003


Best Humour Story
2003

Free Babes on Cam

by
Kenny N Gamera

<loading e-mail reader>

"You have spam.
"You have spam.
"From Spam-I-Am

That Spam-I-Am
That Spam-I-Am
I do not like that Spam-I-Am

"Do you like free babes on cam?"

I do not like them, Spam-I-Am
I do not like free babes on cam

"Would you like them clothed or bare?"

I would not like them clothed or bare.
I do not want them in my hair.
I do not like free babes on cam.
I do not like them, Spam-I-Am.

"Would you like them in the 'hood?
"Would you like them suckin' wood?"

I do not like them in the 'hood.
I do not like them suckin' wood.
I would not like them clothed or bare.
I do not want them in my hair.
I do not like free babes on cam.
I do not like them, Spam-I-Am.

"Would you watch them eating box?
"Would you leer at Courtney Cox?"

Not eating box. Not Courtney Cox.
Not in the hood. Not sucking wood.
I would not like them clothed or bare.
I do not want them in my hair.
I do not like free babes on cam.
I do not like them, Spam-I-Am.

"Would you? Could you? With a mom?
"Watch 'em! See them! It'll turn ya'on!"

I would not, could not with a mom.

"You may like them. You will see.
"You may like them on net TV."

I would not, could not on net TV.
Not with a mom. You let me be.

Not eating box. Not Courtney Cox.
Not in the hood. Not sucking wood.
I would not like them clothed or bare.
I do not want them in my hair.
I do not like free babes on cam.
I do not like them, Spam-I-Am.

"A train! A train! A train! A train!
Could you watch them pull a train?"

Not a train, Not on net TV.
Not with a mom. You let me be.

Not eating box. Not Courtney Cox.
Not in the hood. Not sucking wood.
I would not like them clothed or bare.
I do not want them in my hair.
I do not like free babes on cam.
I do not like them, Spam-I-Am.

"Say! In the park. There in the park.
"Would you watch them in the park?"

I would not, could not in the park.

"Would you watch them if they were from Spain?"

I would not, could not if they were from Spain.
Not in the park. Not pulling a train.
Not with a mom. Not on net TV.
I do not like them, Spam, you see.

"Would you watch them with a goat?"

Ick, would not, could not with a goat.

"Would you watch them on a boat?"

I could not, would not on boat.
I will not, will not with a goat.
Not pulling a train. Not on net TV.
Not with a mom. You let me be.

Not eating box. Not Courtney Cox.
Not in the hood. Not sucking wood.
I would not like them clothed or bare.
I do not want them in my hair.
I do not like free babes on cam.
I do not like them, Spam-I-Am.

"You do not like them. So you say.
"Try them! Try them! And you may.
"Try them and you may, I say."

Spam, if you will let me be.
I will try them. You will see.

<Please give your credit if you are old>
<Please give us now. Do as you're told>

Say! I see no babes on cam.
I don't! I hate this, Spam-I-Am.
This is nothing but a rotten scam.
Oh, I do not like you, Spam-I-Am.

2003 Kenny N Gamera