By Finbar Saunders.
Usual, bloody stupid legal-type warnings to all those unwelcome people who would obviously, really, no honestly.. Just click right back out of here because they'd managed to drill this far through the web by complete accident (sure they did).
This story, for that is just what it is, a fictional piece from my head and nowhere else, contains words which rhyme with 'luck' and 'punt' and there's also descriptions of the sort of actions which apparently cure acne in young men and give girls a 'bad' reputation.
Oh, and by the way, I really like seeing naked ladies and looking at their naughty bits.
Some of you are too young to read this stuff; or, worse still, live under a totalitarian regime which prohibits this sort of information to be disseminated. If you don't believe you should read these sorts of things, then hit the POWER button on your computer (never use the BACK button, it's for wimps).
All characters, situations, and locations are mostly fictional. Any similarity with any person, living, dead or undead, is coincidental or really good luck on my part.
Not to be archived, reposted, nor redistributed by any means... unless expressly permitted by the author, in writing and accompanied by great gobs of money, paid to the author by the archivist or the poster or the redistributor..
needs all our support in order to provide the world with the best in ALL fiction just send cash to their address, even if it was a scam you only need to risk $10!! ...
(climbs down of soapbox.)
If you should rip this off and pretend it's your own, I'll hunt you down like the dog you are and wrest it from your rotting corpse. If you are careless enough to let a minor read this sort of thing with intent to corrupt, or worse still, think that this stuff is OK to try out on kids then you don't deserve to be of this world, and should expect someone in a hooded black cape to turn up on your doorstep and split your nostrils open with a boat hook.
For all the rest of us pervy bastards, read on with as much pleasure as you can manage, be gentle with me -- this is my first time. Spellings are British and grammar is schoolboy, so just don't bother getting annoyed.
Your best mate: Finbar Saunders, MHaHStADT@hotmail.com
(Oh OK, I know it's a character from VIZ ( www.viz.co.uk ) but I like it!)