Part 13 of my life in So. California
Life is good. I hadn’t planned on posting any more “diary” entries. I wasn’t going to write any more erotic stories either, but I have. I wasn’t going to write this all down, but hey, that’s what I did.
As I began my senior year in high school, I dreamed of two things: being Alan’s wife some day, and going off to college. In my mind, the two were probably mutually exclusive. If I wanted to succeed in college and be a scientist I needed to concentrate. Thankfully Alan understands all that and is willing to wait.
Waiting doesn’t mean celibacy, though. Alan and I had amazing sex every time he was away from a movie shoot and came to visit me. Even though the man basically fucked for a living, he always saved the best of himself for me. Our lovemaking sessions were marathons with multiple orgasms guaranteed. My lover, with his superb, large cock would whisper how virginally tight I was as he fucked me hard, even though my vagina had long since adapted nicely to large, porn star cocks (as you’d know by reading about me).
Now that my parents knew about him, we could be more open about seeing each other. Like our nude beach vacation to Lake Tahoe, I’d spend nights with him at his hotel when he visited, and then he’d drive me to school the following morning, initiating a lot of inquisitiveness from classmates who saw me get out of his expensive, brand new Range Rover. They all wanted to know who the hunk was, but I’ve kept my secrets this long, why tell everyone now?
At the beginning of November, I began thinking of Thanksgiving. I mentioned the holiday in conversation, maybe to assess how Alan felt about it, seeing he didn’t have any family to spend the holiday with. I wanted to invite him to my house, but I thought he’d want to avoid the tension. When he showed interest I asked, “You really would want to have dinner with us?”
“You want me…us…to be a normal relationship, right? And if we are going to get married, then I need to get to know your parents better, and let them get to know me.”
“I’m sorry if I sounded weird. My God, Thanksgiving!” Then I added, “I’m sorry. I’m too selfish. I thought of my family, and not that you have no one to spend the holiday with like I do. I’ll set it up with my folks.”
“You’re not selfish at all. I’m the selfish one since I don’t want to share you with anyone.”
“Does that mean you won’t let me make any more movies if I wanted to?” I said with a chuckle.
He laughed. “Why? Is that what you want?”
“Not really. I’m just kidding.”
“You know that I’d be all for it if that’s what you wanted. I mean, you’ve accepted that I’m still in the business.”
“In some way it’s weird not being totally jealous. After all, that’s how we met, and maybe that’s why I’m okay with it.”
To that, he said, “And that’s why you’re the woman for me.”
I’d just turned 18 and yet thinking of myself as “woman” remained elusive. I’ve filled out some during my teen years but basically I was still fairly petite and shorter than most of my high school friends. Of course, womanhood isn’t simply stature. I love Alan so much because in his own way he combines tremendous maturity with boyhood joie de vivre. I suppose if you don’t have a bit of both, being a porn actor would drive you nuts (maybe that’s why so many are drugged out zombies). So now I not only had the tense nerves waiting to hear about my early decision admission to college, but just added the tension of Thanksgiving dinner with Alan and my parents. Making porn movies was easier by far!
Thanksgiving was amazing! Alan wore a fantastic pin-striped suit he must have spent a mint on, and in which he looked as handsome as ever. He greeted my parents warmly, though at first they were cool towards him. It wasn’t the first time they’ve talked to him, but it really was the first chance for them to get to know the real Alan, not what they thought about him based on his occupation (and the fact he’d “stolen” their daughter’s heart, hee-hee).
During dinner (traditional all the way, with turkey, gravy, cranberry sauce, etc.) Alan was very open about his work. Dad didn’t really want to hear about it, but Mom asked lots of questions. Her questions confirmed what I already knew; my mom was a sexy older lady who still loved it. Besides my petite frame, I must have got that from her too! Mom and Alan talked about safe sex, with Alan explaining that the company he worked for demanded it, and that all the actors and actresses got tested for STDs regularly.
He admitted that he knew I was underage when we first met, and that he felt protective of me. When my dad questioned his motivation, Alan coolly explained that I seemed very mature and that to him it looked like I knew what I was doing. He said he wasn’t a pedophile, and that even then he was falling in love with me. “I’ve never met a woman until then that I ever thought I could spend my life with,” Alan said. “I know that the business doesn’t lend itself for meeting the right people; however all I needed was to meet one.” He looked at me while he said that, and I saw his immense love for me in his eyes. I think my folks did too.
After complimenting my mom on the excellent dinner, Alan explained how he’d invested well and hoped to get a degree once he got too old to do his kind of work. He joked about having to “keep up with” me as far as education goes. Since I’ve known him Alan’s been a bit insecure about his lack of a college education, though he is quite a smart man. He got my dad talking about his high-tech career and about my expected major, Biomedical Engineering. Dad was still Dad, but he did warm up some.
On the other hand, Mom was “warm” enough already. Later I whispered to Alan that I bet my mother’s panties were wet. Before we left to go to Alan’s hotel, he promised my mom and dad that he wanted to marry me but that no way would he do anything to mess up my chance at college and the future career I wanted.
Once we left, Alan said he agreed with me about my mom. “You think she’s jealous?” he asked with a silly grin on his face.
“She is horny though,” I said, “and that means my father will get lucky tonight.”
After a good laugh, Alan said, “Not as lucky as me.”
Later, I truly was the lucky one. I’ve probably written this too many times already, however here’s one more time—Alan is a lover by profession, and there is no way I’ll ever grow tired of him making love to me. He fucked me several times during the night in a few of my favorite positions. My orgasms were sublime. The first time, no sooner were we in his room and undressed, was doggie style. He intuitively knew what I wanted. He held onto my hips and pounded me hard; my knees bouncing off the bed with each thrust of his perfect cock. It was just the way I wanted it. The orgasm had me squealing so loudly I knew people in adjacent rooms could hear me. We didn’t care; I was legal now.
We watched television for a while and drank Champagne (you probably know by now how much I love Champagne!) He took me again in the missionary position, much slower this time with lots of eye contact and my legs wrapped around his superb ass. I get a double whammy that way: I’m spread wide so I get his full measure in me, and I get to feel his great ass muscles flex as he goes in and out.
After this session (another full condom—I wasn’t on birth control for the time being because of medical reasons I won’t spell out) we talked about Thanksgiving with my parents and what I thought of how it went down. We talked about my nervous anticipation of college. We talked of marriage. We talked of spending time together around Christmas. Would that be my Christmas present—an engagement ring? I fell asleep with that thought playing through my mind.
I had an amazing sex dream where I was in a gang bang orgy with at least a half dozen men and Alan pulled me away from them and did me anally while they all looked on in wonder. I awoke with a start and a sopping wet pussy. I had been sleeping nestled against Alan’s warmth and I felt his semi-rigid cock ‘nestling’ back. The anal sex dream was interesting, since I’d never done it, being so petite and all, not wanting to be hurt. The dream however let me know that the desire resided in my subconscious mind. I moved down in the bed and took him in my mouth. I may have a small mouth to go along with the rest of me, but one thing the porn business taught me was how to give a decent blow job. I knew he woke up when I heard him utter a moan.
“Mmmmmmm. This is a nice treat to wake up to, though it sure isn’t dawn yet,” Alan said as I sucked his cock. I wanted him to fuck me again, I really did, but something took over within me and I gave him the best BJ I think I ever gave (at least ones not in front of a video camera). “Do you…?” he said, the obvious left unsaid. I nodded but otherwise kept up my rhythm. He’s already so huge, and yet he swelled up (it still amazes me how a man’s cock can get perceptively fatter, no matter how hard he already is, just before he cums) before he let go one stream after another to the back of my mouth. I swallowed all I could but choked anyway.
“That was for you,” I finally managed to say. “You always think of me first in sex so this time it was my turn to think of you.” I fell asleep with the comforting taste of him in my mouth.
It still wasn’t dawn yet when I felt his cock nudge my ass. Spooning against him, I slid him into my soaking wet vagina (another dream?) and almost immediately felt him swell to fill me. Probably still half asleep, he moved against me with slow, deliberate thrusts until I squealed again in orgasmic bliss. Thankfully, he didn’t cum this time—no condom!
Before we got out of bed in the morning I rolled a fresh condom onto him and rode him like no cowgirl ever rode her stallion before (I know, it’s a cheesy line, but the devil made me use it). I loved fucking cowgirl with the biggest of men, since I could control things at my own pace (and depth). I’d learned that early on in making the porn movies. All the directors said it captured well on video, saying I was a good “spinner” and “great moves” came natural to me.
He splurged for room service breakfast, and while eating we planned out the next two days. Most of Friday and a part of Saturday we spent driving around the beaches. I got to show him all my haunts and hangouts, including the Redondo pier. We ate dinner at Kincaid’s, and I reminisced about all the times my dad and I ate here and places like Old Tony’s; our father-daughter times I miss a lot.
The reminiscing continued when we drove by the house on So. Catalina, the one Ed Ibanez had rented and where we made the “Young Cleopatra” movie. The rest of the day Alan and I talked about that video shoot, our scenes together, and the crazy ersatz “Egyptian” wardrobe.
“You really astonished me,” Alan said. “I kept thinking how a girl your age could be so into it, so professional in that setting. You were so cute and friendly; I think I fell in love with you then and there. The director…I don’t remember his name…really loved you too, like a father. All the vibes on that set…in that house…were amazing to me. I never felt anything like it before.
The director’s name was Jake, and he had been like a surrogate father to me at a time I was most vulnerable. I wondered how he was doing and whether he still did work for Ed.
One thing Alan didn’t want to talk with me about was Cassie. I guess she was really fucked up now, and he didn’t want to gossip. I vowed to look her up and see if I could help her in some way.
Saturday he took me to an exclusive looking boutique, close but not quite on Rodeo Drive, and bought me a slinky, glittery mini-dress. I nearly died when I heard the price. That night he took me to an L.A. nightclub. They seemed to all know him, and he got the VIP treatment, including getting me into the place and drinking without being carded. My dress was a hot number that I wouldn’t have dared buy on my own. Wearing only a thong and no bra underneath, I felt sinful, and since it was very short, I knew that while dancing I was providing entertainment as only a few other ladies were. Several hunky guys copped feels as I danced by them, and I (and Alan, it seemed) didn’t mind. I even got bookended by a couple of buxom twenty-somethings; one caressing my ass while the other ogled back-and-forth between my body and Alan’s crotch. Later, Alan teased me, “I bet that would be a foursome…those two babes plus us.”
“Hey, I’m horny enough as it is, don’t make it worse!” I said, and then giggled when I realized a few people around us heard me.
“That’s okay, since I want you all to myself. Forever.” His eyes bored through mine as he said it, and suddenly it was as if we were the only ones in the club. In bed later, our lovemaking was worthy of a XXX video. By Sunday morning I was sore and nearly walking bowlegged!
When Alan dropped me off on Sunday, Dad didn’t have much to say, yet Mom and I had a nice talk. Like before, she explained that it would take a while for my dad to accept Alan not only for who he was but also because of all my lies and secrets. She also gave me some insight that part of my dad’s problem with Alan was that he was so diametrically opposed to him, both in personality and in life outlook.
“Is Dad jealous?” I asked, and Mom admitted that that may be part of it.
“You’re his one and only, you know,” she said with a smile.
We talked about the future and it gave me another chance to reiterate that college came first for me, and that Alan understood. I told her about my expectation that Alan would give me a ring at Christmas. She wanted to know if I really loved Alan and that he loved me. Of course I’m still a teenager so what did I know about love? I explained that all I have to go by is my heart, and my heart said that I loved Alan. I believed that Alan’s love for me wasn’t superficial. “My heart says that Alan loves me too,” I said.
“Our hearts are all we have to go by,” she said before giving me a big hug.
We’d never really talked about the porn movies before now, however she brought up the subject with a question about sex. “You must like it,” she said, “so Alan must be quite the lover too, I imagine.”
I smiled. “Now who’s jealous?”
She laughed but admitted that Alan was a hunk and because he was a porn actor she had thought of how big he must be. I assured her that he had the best of equipment and knew how to use it. My mother had always been open about things sexual, but I never imagined we’d ever have a “girl talk” about sex like this one. I saw the dreamy look in her eyes, so I didn’t have the heart to tease her by saying how great it felt. After all, I didn’t have much experience with small ones (even Jimmy was huge to a skinny, naïve, 13-year-old virgin). That’s when I figured out that my dad’s equipment was probably much like he was, small and wiry. We did discuss the merits of different positions, though.
I took the initiative and went to talk to my father. Before he could say a word, I climbed onto his lap much like I used to do when I was a little girl and told him I loved him, and that he was the best dad ever. I apologized once more for all the deception that has hurt him.
He said something like “I’m the one who should apologize. I’m sorry for not believing that you were still the smart girl I raised. I can never be pleased with what you did, but I can never be displeased with who you are. It’s just hard for your father to let go of his Candy.”
We hugged and kissed (father-daughter kisses—don’t get the wrong idea!) before I said that he didn’t have to ‘let go’ of anyone, and that I would always strive to make him proud of me.
That was my momentous Thanksgiving weekend.
December sure felt like a long month. I grew more and more nervous as Christmas approached, looking forward to seeing Alan again and waiting to hear from Cal Poly for early decision. That’s where I had decided I wanted to go to college.
I won’t detail everything that happened around Christmas. I did get the two presents I wanted more than anything else. I got my acceptance letter from Cal Poly SLO, and I got my ring from Alan. My ‘rock’ must have cost him a mint; it was so beautiful, and I cried when he slipped it onto my trembling finger. As we poised on the brink of 2012, I was now an engaged, college bound woman!
I still had high school to finish, however my diamond ring quickly made me a celebrity. When I showed girls a picture of Alan, many of those who had never seen him drop me off didn’t believe he was real. Of course, the same girls thought my ring was a fake, too. What did I care, I had Alan and they didn’t. Only my closest friends knew what Alan did for a living.
As winter turned to spring, I petitioned the school to allow Alan to be my date for the Senior Prom, but even with him being my fiancé, they wouldn’t bend the rules. He was too old. Instead, Alan told me he’d surprise me with a special ‘prom’ of my own. When he told me this he had the boyish gleam in his eye; then I knew that the surprise would be kinky or crazy. No prom for me, but I couldn’t wait for the date anyway.
Because I wasn’t writing stories anymore, most of my long-time correspondences dried up to only a few. One e-mail friend, Brian from England, wrote me that he was sick and facing a serious operation. I feared the worst when after that I didn’t receive any e-mails, and haven’t heard from him since. All I could do was pray that instead of dying, maybe he just didn’t want to converse with me anymore. I’ll most likely never know, thus the anonymity of the Internet.
My dad and I are all patched up now. He told me he was worried that I was looking so much to the future I wasn’t savoring my last high school year. I took it to heart by trying to enjoy my friendships and let the future take care of itself. He keeps telling me that he has no worries about how well I’ll do in college, and that Alan is the luckiest man alive. I surprised him by giving him the biggest kiss. I embarrassed him a little but I wanted to show him one more time how much I loved him and that in many ways I was still his ‘Candy’ as he nicknamed me so long ago.
As ‘Prom Night’ approached, Alan strangely asked if my best friend Hannah was going to the prom. When I told him no, he surprised me by asking if it would be okay for her to join us on our date. Hannah has battled a weight problem through high school, but she wasn’t fat. Her biggest problem was poor self-esteem. She’d lost her virginity to a total loser, and seemed to attract only the dullest boys. After my ‘secret’ was out she was one of the few friends who actually met Alan. After that, that’s all she ever talked about.
“What was he like in bed?”
“Was he really big?”
“Did you make it with him in front of the camera?” were some of her incessant questions. (She didn’t know EVERYTHING about me, after all.)
When he asked me about Hannah, I said, “Why? Does your little prom plan involve sex in any way? Because, let me tell you mister, I won’t entertain a threesome or anything like that.” He assured me it wasn’t about sex with him or me. I didn’t know what he had planned, but he’s never played games with me before so I had to assume it would be good.
That evening I wore the slinky dress he bought for me on Thanksgiving weekend. After he picked me up he refused to tell me where we were going. When we picked up Hannah, she already had the glow about her, and it wouldn’t have surprised me to find out she’d masturbated before dressing. Her black dress wasn’t any way as sexy as mine, but it did look good on her nonetheless, contrasting nicely with her dirty blond hair. Her first question to me was whether she looked fat in it. She didn’t, and I assured her of that fact. As we drove toward L.A. Hannah directed her full attention to Alan, wanting to know more about where we were partying. Truthfully, if we weren’t going anywhere, Hannah’s full attention would still be on Alan. All he’d say was that we were going to a private party.
He drove to a city block place that looked to be a deserted group of warehouses. We pulled up in front of one of the dilapidated buildings and I was shocked when a man in what looked like a valet’s jacket immediately came out and approached the Range Rover. Alan nonchalantly turned the driver’s seat over to the guy before escorting us from the vehicle to the door. As we entered what ended up being a vestibule, the largest man I ever saw met us, nodded to Alan, and held the next door open for us.
“What club is this?” I asked as we entered the dim, music filled room.
“A private club,” Alan enigmatically answered. “Don’t worry, you’ll know people here.”
Know people? Who would I know but…? Suddenly a man came up to me quickly and lifted me off the floor and into his strong arms. “Damn, it really is you! I didn’t believe your buddy here…oh sorry, your fiancé…when he told me. You’re the sexiest little thing, and now you’re legal!”
“C’mon Rod, put me down. My legal status never bothered you when you were fucking Cleopatra, did it?”
“Maybe a little,” he said.
I chuckled. “There’s nothing ‘little’ about you,” I said as I gave the front of his pants an affectionate squeeze. The man often called Big Rod in the porn business was one of those who, along with Alan, got to stretch my pussy in Ed Ibanez’s Young Cleopatra movie.
Alan’s comment about knowing people here made sense now. This was a party of the porn-producing crowd. While Rod and I talked, Alan greeted everyone else, introducing an awestruck Hannah as my friend. Rod was soon joined by a host of others I’d worked with, such as the brash Horst, the fiery red-haired (and big boobed) Cherry, and Alex, he of the flowing blond locks.
And then there was Santiago. “Eighteen now, huh?” he said before pulling me to him and kissing me. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman like you, Candy. Look at you, Alan’s a lucky man; make sure he never forgets that.”
Santiago called me a woman, not a girl. That was special.
I was surrounded by friends, and that’s what they were, I realized. I was underage when they worked with me. They could’ve gone to prison. But somehow I touched each of their sometimes jaded lives in a way that made them remember me beyond the sex. I can’t explain how gratifying this reunion made me feel. And then I realized that was exactly Alan’s intent. On the night my Senior Prom was being held, and all the usual memories that go along with it for all high-schoolers, he was showing me some things I was too young to recognize at the time; memories I’m just getting around to understanding fully. I’m also learning more and more every day about what love really is.
I was quite occupied, but every once in a while I’d espy Alan and Hannah talking to others. Hannah couldn’t hide the fact that her panties were probably soaked; she was so taken by the gorgeous porn actors and actresses. I wondered if Alan’s plan included getting Hannah laid. Now that would be interesting.
The party in many ways was like a family reunion. We all mingled, talked, danced and drank. After a while a dazed Hannah pulled me into the ladies room. “You really did have sex with all these guys!”
“You didn’t believe me?” I said, but I was smiling. She wasn’t drunk, at least yet, but she sure was horny.
“Do you think any of them would…you know…”
“Yes, most of them will fuck you. Is that what you want?”
She nodded vigorously, and then giggled. About ten minutes later I saw Hannah and Big Rod dancing. Rod caught my eye, smiled, and made a slight hip thrust to indicate to me his intentions. Good for Hannah. Rod will have her singing.
Finally, with a champagne flute in hand, I plunked down on a sofa next to my lover. He was watching Hannah and Rod too. He said to me, “I hope she knows what she’s getting into, or more appropriately what’s getting into her.”
“She has to find out…like I did,” I said, and then thanked him for bringing me here. “I guess you know me better than I know myself.”
He laughed, “Don’t give me that shit. I don’t think I know anyone more self-aware than you.”
Just then Rod led Hannah toward a side door. I asked, “Is that a bedroom?”
Alan said, “Sort of. This place gets used by a swingers’ club most of the time, so there are several ‘play’ rooms, including a big public room so if you wanted you could watch and be watched. That room,” pointing the door Rod and Hannah had just used, “is a private room, I think.”
“Besides Hannah, will there be a lot of sex tonight? I mean, you guys do it for a living and you all work together.”
He said, “Oh yes, there’ll be sex tonight. For example, Santiago and Cherry will be working together in a couple of weeks, and they’ll want to test out a few things, if you catch my meaning.”
“Who are you working with next?” I asked.
He looked at me, probably analyzing my motivation for asking. “There are a few here, but I don’t need trial runs. I’ve worked with them all before.” He figured it out. Jealousy had spiked within me, something I’d convinced myself wouldn’t happen. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Hannah’s voice first shouting “Oh my God!” before uttering several loud “Ohhhhh” sounds.
Alan chuckled and then said, “You’ve told me how Hannah was one of your few friends who you told about the movies, and how she kept bugging you for all the salacious details. Well, I figured out she had self-esteem issues the first time I saw her. I calculated that getting her a taste, so to speak,” he chuckled again, “would go a long way in fixing that.”
It was my turn to chuckle as more screams emanated from the room Rod had taken Hannah. Whether they were orgasmic screams or not, I couldn’t tell. The noise got the attention of the rest of the partiers though. When word spread that Rod was doing a “civilian” (and a teenager to boot) a crowd gathered by the door which was soon cracked open so the voyeurs could see for themselves.
(I used the term “civilian” since that’s what I’ve heard Jake the director call non-actors and non-crew at a porn location. There were other civilians at this party besides me and Hannah; some of the attendees were with their spouses or significant others.)
“I know, you want to see, too,” Alan said as he took me by the hand and led me to join the voyeur crowd.
I looked between the gawkers to see glimpses of Big Rod nailing my best friend from behind doggie-style. Hannah had her head back and was howling like a she-wolf might howl at the moon. I was happy to see Rod was wearing a condom, which shone nicely from the glistening wetness it was plunging in and out of.
Big Rod grunted, signaling his orgasm. When he eventually pulled out, a cheer rose up from the onlookers. Hannah must have been too well-fucked to be embarrassed that she’d put on a show. It looked as if Alan was right again.
Alan leaned in behind me and whispered in my ear, “I bet we could put on a show to end all shows.”
I smiled back at him, saying “Most of these folks have already seen that show.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, with all my heart,” I replied, remembering how difficult it had been at first for him to say those three words.
No, we didn’t put on a show. On the other hand, Hannah did, this time with Horst and another guy I didn’t know double teaming her senseless. No doubt Hannah would be sore by morning, but hopefully she’d feel better about herself. I spent some time talking with Santiago and Alex about their work and love lives after I gave them the lowdown on my quickly approaching college days. When I asked about Cassie, Santiago just shook his head. I guess she’d descended too far, and I blamed myself.
Alan overheard the last part of the conversation. He stepped next to me and said, like he read my mind, “Don’t blame yourself for it, sweetheart. Cassie’s that kind of girl, you know, maybe doomed from the start. It’s not your fault.” He was correct, but his words didn’t make me feel better.
We saw Hannah again after she’d been fucked by another stud. By that time it was early morning and I figured she’d better be getting home before someone screwed her bareback and got her pregnant or worse. I corralled her into the ladies room where I helped her clean up, straighten out her dress, and reapply some makeup. She thanked me profusely for bringing her along. I told her the truth that it was all Alan’s idea and that the party had been a surprise for me too. "They all think I'm pretty!" she declared. Whether improved self-esteem or delusion, she was happy. When we went back to gather Alan, she gave him a big kiss as thanks, but not before she felt his crotch, and with a bewildered smile on his face he gave her ass a squeeze in return.
After taking Hannah home, we went to Alan’s hotel room. There, it finally was our turn to put on a show, though no one was watching.
Oh, the stories she told at school the following week! Thankfully her tales of getting laid by porn stars were not believed by many. She did carry on with a new glow about her, though.
There’s not much else to write about. I tried to capture the conversations as I remember them.
I studied hard for finals, did well, and prepared for my journey to San Luis Obispo in July. I’d bought a new car, a sporty little Ford Focus hatchback. Nothing showy for my new life away from home but it was cute and had enough pep for me. Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll find a cool job when I get there, before the September rush. Or maybe I’d join Alan in one of his movie projects if he’s not that far away. In reality, I don’t know if I’d ever make another movie, but at least now I’m legal!
If you liked this, e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know what you think of my writing. You’ve read the other parts of my story, haven’t you? This is Part 13. You can find the previous parts at the Cotton Candy web site