Author: Closet Fetishist
Written: July 10th, 2010
"You know what?" I say laughing; I am not thinking about what I'm about to spew out next.
" What?" She asks; she's high as fuck as well. Maybe she won't remember.
"I like farts."
She laughs, "Farts?"
"I like to smell 'em,"
"That's weird." Her face is serious now.
The ridiculous lyrics but infectious melody of LCD Soundsystem returns to the room in my silence.
"I gotta go," she says.
So she left.
Dating got difficult after that; almost as if that girl told everyone my secret...maybe she did.
I sit alone at the bar, contemplating my thoughts.
Suddenly, I feel a tap on my shoulder
I spin around slowly to see a...somewhat attractive, fat woman standing behind me. She's dressed in jeans and a T-shirt; she seems normal enough.
"Mind if I sit down?"
"Thanks," she takes the stool right next to me despite the decently empty bar. "My name's Elizabeth, but you can call me Eliza."
"Nice to meet you; Eliza...like Thornberry?"
"Wow, no one ever gets that; obviously watch too many cartoons."
"Don't necessary think that's a bad thing."
"Yeah...still, hard to look mature mentioning Danny Phantom and stuff like that."
"Well, yeah, Danny Phantom is pretty gay."
"Fuck you if you like Danny Phantom."
"Well, I don't love it..."
"So what do you love?"
She looks at me.
We went back to my apartment; I hit the small lamp and took a seat on the couch as I undid my shirt; she pulled hers off and did her pants. She sat on my lap and kissed me; she was heavy but her weight felt good on me...I had always enjoyed pressure on my dick and had never experienced anything like this with a woman or solo. My dick was erect but forced down by the heavy ass.
The loud fart exploded against my lap and sent my woody to new heights. I sniffed the air discreetly.
"It's okay, you don’t have to hide it."
She rises and quickly plants her large ass in my face; my nose pressed right up against her hole. It stinks so good; putrid but wonderful. I want to live inside her crack.
"Sniff deeply," she says, sensually as she puts her hands behind my head, holding me in place.
"Oh God, that was so good."
It was good! I was about to pass out and I loved every minute as I inhaled her anal emissions; her smelly, cabbagey farts.
"Oh, I think I have to take a shit."
She rises off me but I pull her back. She looks at me and I smile.
She nuzzles her hole over my mouth and farts again, filling my mouth with her gas. Then she, fired diarrhea into me and I drank it down like there was no tomorrow. It wasn't pleasant but I wanted it, I could not explain it as I choked on a log flowing from her ass then swallowed it with a gulp.
I licked her so clean that she sparkled.
She massaged my hair as I sniffed her gas, "
I love you."