Author: Closet Fetishist
Written: October 5th, 2011
"Dude, I have to get laid tonight; it's been like three weeks!" I yell to him over the bar noise; it was surprisingly busy for a Thursday night.
"Damn man, yeah, totally," Doug looks around the room, scoping it out."Oh, shit; right there."
The two of them stare at a perfect woman sitting along the far wall of the bar; her, token fat friend, is there talking to her and just, generally, being an annoying pig and guzzling down beer with permanent tears in her eyes.
"I'm going for it," Doug says.
"No way, man; you can take her friend," I say, laughing.
"Hey fuck you!"
"Look, I actually have a shot with that bitch; you, you got nothing to offer her. You gotta hone up your skills; fuck your way up the pussy ladder. You can't start at the top of Mount Clit; you have to start at...Dumpy Rock."
"You're a world class asshole."
"Welcome to the real world Doug," I say as I walk towards the hottie.
I was drunk, I don't really remember how I got to her apartment but that's really the next time I was fully conscious.
I wake up and see the still fan above me, hanging from a popcorn ceiling that I'd never seen before. I try to get up but I'm stuck; I look up, my arms are tied to gold metal bed posts. I look down, my legs are tied to the same. What the fuck? The girl at the bar...was she into this shit; wait, what the hell did we do? Did we do anything? What day is it?
"Hey!" I call out.
It's not two seconds that the woman from the bar comes in; she's stark naked. I'm immediately aroused looking at her perfect cream body; her slender body, her big perky breasts presented to me like a gift from God. Her hips puffed out just a little; no doubt giving her a perfect, round ass as clean as her smooth pussy.
"Hey sleepyhead; I thought I might have lost you."
"No, nope...what happened; why am I tied up?"
The woman giggled, "Because, silly...I like to have fun."
"Oh do you?" I ask, cutely; hell, I'll go again, I don't remember a thing and she's fucking steaming hot!
"Yup! Wanna see?"
"Sure hunny; come on up here and show daddy how you have fun."
The girl nods aggressively and races to the bed; she lays down over me and facing my junk. She runs a finger around my sack and I shudder with delight.
She starts stroking me and I feel ready to cum almost instantly; it fills up inside me ready to explode.
I can't even react before the woman is off my junk and sitting on my face with her stinky fart sealed in.
I fight and scream but she doesn't budge as I am trapped in a nightmare of eggy smell.
"This is what you deserve you fucking pig! I hope you choke on this!"
Oh God! The fart streams quickly up my nose and mouth; it burns, makes my eyes water as I gag on the smell.
"By the way, Doug texted you; he hooked up with that fat bitch and it was totally awesome."
She was pissed; I must have said something last night and that text didn't help me.
"Not until you cum to my stinky farts!"
My now flaccid penis didn't seem like it was going to get excited anytime soon. This would be a long night.