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Celestial Reviews 256 - February 7, 1998|
Note: A husband and wife noticed that their little boy's penis was a
little too small so they took him to the doctor. They expressed their
concerns to the doctor. The doctor said to feed the little boy lots of
The next morning, the wife gets up really early and makes a huge stack
of toast. When the little boy comes down to breakfast, the mother says,
"Take the top two slices. The rest are for your father."
Second note: A businessman gets onto a bus and finds a seat next to a
nun at the front of the bus. After some interesting conversation, the
man asks the nun if she would have sex with him.
Surprised by the question, the nun politely declines and gets off at the
next stop. When the bus starts on its way, the bus driver says to the
businessman, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to
have sex with you."
The businessman replies that he'd love to know; so the bus driver tells
him that every Tuesday at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray
to the Lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder,"
says the bus driver, "you could tell her you were God and command her to
have sex with you."
The businessman decides to try this out. So that Tuesday he goes to the
cemetery and waits for the nun, who shows up right on schedule. When
she's in the middle of her prayer, the businessman jumps out from
hiding, dressed in robes and glowing with a mask of God. "I am God! I
have heard your prayers, and I will answer them, but you must have sex
with me first." The nun agrees but asks for anal sex, so that she might
keep her virginity. The businessman agrees to this and quickly sets
about to go to work on the nun.
After the Businessman finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out,
"Ha, ha, I'm the businessman!" The nun replies by whipping off her mask
and shouting, "Ha, ha, I'm the bus driver!"
Third note: I just received a spam ad for a Virtual Girlfriend. This
reminded me of a pre-computer-days joke.
The man was on a business trip. He missed his wife and was getting
horny. After he checked into his hotel room, he went into the bathroom
to do his daily duty. On the wall in the little room next to the toilet
was a nicely padded hole about three inches in diameter with a sign
above it that read, "Your Wife Away from Home." The very thought gave
him a raging hard-on. "What will these hotels think of next?" he
thought, as he guided his engorged cock into the opening which was the
perfect size and at the perfect height. Suddenly he felt an extremely
painful sensation at the end of his cock, and when he withdrew his penis
he found a button nicely sewn to the end of it.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews
for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
"Mrs. Michaels" by Grimace (intergenerational sex) 7, 5, 5
"Nobody's To Blame" by Kim (poignant bisexual threesome) 10, 10, 10
"For Valentine's Day" by DuChamp (bdsm) 10, 5, 4
"JonBenet Rides Again" by George Kranz (satirical essay) 10, 9, 9
"Don't Panic" by DG (sex at Greek folk festival) 10, 9, 9
"Satisfied" by Lord Malinov (seducing hubby) 10, 10, 9.5
"The Minimalist" by Bronwen (pickup and endumpment) 10, 8, 6
"Climbing" by Poison Ivan (relationships) 10, 10, 10
"Star Whores" by Jefferson Morris (sci fi sex parody) 10, 10, 8
"The Gene" by Spoonbender (Platonic Humor) 9.5, 10, 9
"Bad Girl" by Day Dreamer (emerging adolescence) 9, 9, 9
"Bronze Lust" by A Pulp Fan (action adventure sex) 10, 10, 10
"Fearful Love" by Tom (intergenerational sex) 8, 4, 4
* "The Photograph" by JYM (poignant teen pregnancy) 10, 10, 10