So close, so far
The quietness of my apartment, after the crowded underground, is a God's bless. I can still hear the noise of the street, and maybe some neighbour speaking too loudly or their telly. I take my shoes off first thing, my feet hurt. The clothes I take more slowly, I'll dress them again some other day and they can't be wrinkled. The pantyhose goes after. I feel much better, without the clothes. 'Tis a shame the weather is too cold. I wish I could go to the tropics, and never be cold again. Being naked feels good, feels I own myself. All day long hearing do this, get me that, call that bloke, we need a coffee. They staring at me, what they would not do to grab me, those old pervs. Here no one can see me, me all like they want to see. I can sit without worrying 'bout my legs and if my skirt is too high. I can spread my legs when I sit on the couch, not caring. I'm alone, it feels good. To be by myself, no one watching, no one here. Not having to pretend and to disguise my accent, to be professional and say ``yes sir'' when I want to say ``fuck you''. Fuck you fuck you fuck you.
I wish Pierce was here. I miss him. I sometimes miss my little town, but I hated those people. All minding my business, them. Here I can do what I please, have a boyfriend or not. I get home too tired to want to see anybody. Tomorrow I'll go with Rachel to a pub, perhaps some bloke will find me attractive and fuck my brains out. Ahh, like this. In and out. Good. Tall, very handsome. Big. Ahh. Here. Knows what to do. Takes his time, not a quick fuck and leave. Not that I want to stay for breakfast. No. Ah, yes... He could be rich, I could meet somebody rich. Ahh. A rich bloke, who likes me. Good to me. Lord, with a castle, and money to keep it. Ahh... Very nice, he'll send me flowers, show up at the work with a dozen roses to pick me up. Ahh! Everybody jealous, my boss and all. I'd kiss him very sexily. He'd take me to good restaurants, expensive ones, to the theater. Then to his place. Ahh... Tall, strong. Taking me, right, faster, faster. Ahh... Yes... Like that...
I think she never saw me. I hope not, it's so embarrassing. But what can I do, she's there, all pretty and naked, I can't help. She passes by the window going to the kitchen, that white skin and strawberry blonde hair, I almost faint. I can't sit by the window and watch, I have to hide. I wish I could meet her, but what would I say? She wouldn't give me a second glance, maybe not even a first. I wish I were with her, right now, in her apartment, she naked as she is, not a hint of modesty, just talking about small things before I could gather the will to kiss her and take her to her bedroom. I wonder if she has a boyfriend, I never saw anybody there. Maybe he's richer, and they always go to his place instead.
I wish I was rich and could ask her out, and she would go out with me. We would go out, and she would be leaning on me all night long and suggesting naughtiness with her eyes, and playing with her hair, and her short skirt teasing me to no end. Then we'd get into a room. I'd slowly try to take her clothes off, but she would not let me, not easily. She'd run away, stand up as I sat by her side, then lye on the bed and call me again, until I'd finally get her to strip, after half an hour of this game, and my cock would be as hard as it gets, and she'd take me in her mouth, oh, with her tongue all over and sucking like a pro and I'd hold her hair, ah, shit, already, where's that damn kerchief... I think she's still on her sofa, I wonder if she's asleep. I could find her asleep, naked, and...