Date: Thu, 23 Feb 2012 13:32:35 -0500 (EST)
From: jaks020101@aol.com
Subject: BrothersAtPlay29

Copyright 2011 Josh. ...All Rights Reserved.



Brothers At Play, part 29



Driving home we talked about what we had planned for Christmas Eve.

Steven was at home when we arrived.  Mom had a late dinner waiting for us.
It was great seeing my parents.  My dad seemed a lot more upbeat than he
had at Thanksgiving.  We kidded him about the fact that this was the first
year he hadn't had a son on the football team and the first time they lost
three games in one year since Alex had been on the team.

"Maybe they should retire this old man," he said, looking at me.

"Sorry.  It was just the heat of moment." We smiled at each other.

We did our Christmas shopping.  Zack and I hung out and went Christmas
shopping.  He told me that John was in town.  He had called Samantha
wanting to see her, but she said that she didn't want to hear about the
break up anymore.  She told him, "You're the one who broke up with him.
Stop being the victim."

"Wow," I said.

"I told her that I told you that John was talking to her about this.  She
said that she hopes you know that she'd keep your secret.  I told her that
your father knows."

We talked about him coming to school with us. His counselor told him that
he most assuredly would be accepted, but no one knew about scholarships.
Two of the faculty at the college agreed to audition him while he was
there.

Kevin had been dating three different guys during the year, but one guy,
Paul seemed to be on his mind the most.  They called each other every day
while we were at home.  Alex told me one night that he saw a lot of Paul at
the apartment and that of all the guys Kevin was dating, he liked Paul the
least.  I had only met him twice.

Christmas Eve day was busy.  Kevin, Steven and I helped my mother prepare
dinner.  We had to have food for five extra people without my father
knowing.  The plan was that Alex and Steven were going to pick up my
grandmother.  Robert and Mark would arrive before my grandmother.  There
was still question as to whether or not David and his wife would show up.
Robert said they were in town and that he thought they wanted to hear how
my father reacted to Robert showing up.

My mother was sure it would all go well.

Alex and Steven took off for my grandmother's.

Dinner was at 6.  It was about 4:30 when the front doorbell rang.  My dad
was in the den.  My mother shouted to my father to get the door.  I thought
my heart was going to jump out of my chest.  My arms tensed.  Kevin, my
mother and I walked out of the kitchen into the living room where we could
see my father open the door.

He looked at us questioningly as he reached for the door knob, as if to
say, who'd be ringing the bell.  He opened the door.  For a second, he
didn't seem to recognize Robert.  Then his facial expression changed
�shock.  "Hi Joe," I heard Robert say.

My father glanced at us and then at Robert.  I thought I was going to pass
out.  "Bobby," he said.  He seemed frozen.

"Ask then in," my mother said.

"Come in, come in," my father said.  He kept staring at Robert, still
froze.  Robert stepped in.  Mark followed.  My mother started toward them.
I kept staring at my father trying to get a read on him.

Robert said, "You look good, Joe."

I swear I saw tears in my father's eyes.  He stepped toward Robert, opened
his arms and pulled Robert into a bear hug.  They held each other.  My
father stepped back.  They both hard tears running from their eyes.

My dad said, "I'm sorry I never,"

"Don't Joe.  No need. We all could have made it different."

Mark looked at us and smiled.

"Come in," my mother said.  More tears from my father and Robert.  I got
choked up, but I didn't cry.

We sat at the dining room table.  My mother poured wine.  We talked.  My
father didn't realize that Alex and Steven were gone until the front door
opened.  In came Alex, holding my grandmother's arm.  Alex said she had
started crying miles before they got to the house.  Robert, who didn't know
she was coming, got to his feet, walked to her as she called out his name
in a tone of voice that sounded both joyous and full of pain.  They hugged.
They both wept.

We all had tears.  But I was surprised and moved to watch my father
actually put his hands to his face and cry.  I wondered if most men cry
when they see their mother cry.  I could only imagine the pain he had
stored away for so many years.  Odd what pride and prejudices do.

"Thank you," my grandmother said to my mother.

"No, not me.  This wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for Josh."

"Come over here," my grandmother said.  "I want to kiss you.  Don't make an
old lady get up."

I got kisses.

My dad looked at me and said, "Thank you."

I nodded.

Robert had excused himself earlier to call David.  When he returned I saw
him nod to my mother.  More wine was poured.  Everyone talked.  My
grandmother kept glancing at Mark.  Finally, she asked him what he taught.
Everyone seemed engrossed in conversation when the doorbell rang again.

My dad looked at me.  I shrugged and said, "I'll get it."

I had never met David and his wife.  When I saw him it was like looking at
Alex twenty years older.  I said to him, putting out my hand, "I'm Josh."

"So you're the one responsible for all of this." We shook hands.  "This is
my wife, Claire."

I shook her hand.  "Hi."

"This is long overdue.  Robert said you're dad is receptive." I nodded.

They also didn't know my grandmother would be there and she didn't know
that David was coming, since we weren't sure he would show.  "Very much so.
Your mother is here too," I said.

He looked surprised.  "Not your father.  He's at home." He nodded.

We walked into the living room.  When I closed the door, my dad called out,
"Who was it?"

David and Claire followed me into the dining room.  My dad stood.  My
grandmother cried out, "David." Again she cried.

David walked to his mother.  They embraced.  She wept.  My mother walked to
Claire.  They hugged.  My dad walked up to David, but my grandmother kept
hanging onto him.  David looked at my dad and smiled.  They took each
other's hand.  Finally, my grandmother let David go and he and my father
embraced.

Again, they agreed that what was done was all in the past.  "Let's move
on."

We finally got to have dinner.  My dad said grace.  He thanked me for
bringing everyone back together and thanked God for giving everyone the
opportunity to open their hearts to each other once again.

This was one of the first holiday dinners that we had in many years that I
did not sit waiting for trouble, criticisms and threats.  Alex sat on one
side of me and Kevin on the other.  Every time someone would say something
about me, they'd poke me, nudge me, muss up my hair and say, "and he's so
cute, too."

We had homemade pies for dessert.  Everyone raved about them.

As everyone left, I got a lot of hugs.  My father, Robert and David talked
about getting together soon.  David invited my parents to come to Hawaii.
My dad smiled and said, "Now that the boys are away at college, we might
just do that."

My grandmother stayed with us that night.  Alex and I gave her our room.
He and I slept on the sofa bed in the den.

I like sleeping with Alex.  He lets me cuddle up against him.  It feels
comfortable, familiar and sexy.  Even though were physically about the same
size, I still feel like he's bigger than me and my big brother.  I've often
wondered if I'll ever feel like he's my brother and not my BIG brother.

We curled up under the comforter.  We both were sleeping in our boxers.

"It's weird," he said, lying beside me.  "If you weren't gay, none of this
might have happened."

"Wow, I hadn't thought about that."

"Isn't it weird," he said, staring up at the ceiling.  "Grandma always
seemed so distant and hard, or maybe it was more like scary and
unavailable.  Then there's a crack in the fa�ade and out comes all that
pain.  She must have been holding all that inside."

I rolled onto my side facing him.  "Did Kevin tell you that Mom told us
about her being pregnant to you before they got married?"

"Yes," he said looking at me.

"She also told us that the old man treated you badly and she threw them
out."

"You know, I think I remember that day."

"I don't think I could ever forgive him for that."

"He didn't do it to you."

"I mean if I was Mom."

He sighed.  "I don't think she has.  I think she did it for Dad."

"I never liked him," I said.  "Now, I really don't like him." Alex
chuckled.  "What?"

He looked at me.  "I was just thinking about how he jabs at Mom and you
always jump down his throat.  I remember one time, I think you were about
six or seven and he was critical of something Mom did.  You looked at him
and said, you're breath smells like my dirty socks."

"No.  Did I?"

"Yes, you did.  You've always been like that, sticking up for other people,
especially Mom."

"That's because of you and Kevin." He looked at me.  "You and Kevin always
were protective of me.  I always wanted to be like you."

We talked about all that happened that day.  I rolled onto my back and
listened to him talk about what happened when he and Steven picked up our
grandmother, the old man yelled at him.  "He told me to get out of his
house.  I told him that I'd leave as soon as Grandma was ready to leave.
She was ready to leave, but I couldn't let him just throw me out." He
rolled over facing me.  "Steven told me that he's feeling left out, like
the three of us have a bond that he's not part of."

"He's done that.  I mean I've tried to be friendly toward him, but he
always says stuff that gets me nuts.  He thinks being gay is wrong.  He
thinks that I'm always starting trouble in the family." Alex poked me.  I
looked at him.  "What you think I always start trouble?"

"Shut up."

"Then why the poke."

"From his point of view you do.  I don't think you do at all.  We just
talked about how you defend Mom.  How you defend me and Kevin.  He sees
that as starting trouble.  From my perspective there is trouble already
started and you step in and say what should be said, but that makes for a
lot more trouble."

"Are you saying that I shouldn't?"

"Josh, no, never.  I love that you've got the balls to stand up and say
what's on your mind.  He doesn't and I think it embarrasses him that you
do.  What I'm saying is that from his perspective he sees it that way.  I
don't see it that way.  We look at the same thing and see different
things." He put his hand on my stomach.  "He's threatened by you.  But he
is our brother." I sighed and nodded.  "He does isolate himself.  He does
judge us.  Well, not me so much.  I'm his older brother.  Kevin is the twin
who sucks up all the attention.  You're the younger brother who outdoes him
in every way.  You're smarter.  You're better looking.  You're a better
athlete." He moved his hand under my boxers and said, "And you're bigger
than all of us." He wrapped his fingers around my flaccid cock.

"I can't help any of that," I said.

He didn't move his hand.  "None of that bothers me or Kevin but it bothers
him."

"I'm not smarter, better looking or more athletic than you or Kevin." I
looked at him and smiled.  "I am bigger." He smiled.  My cock was getting
hard.  He gripped my cock, but moved his index finger over the head of my
cock.  It felt good.  I moved my hand to his crotch.  He was hard.  "I miss
us messing around," I whispered.

"Me too." I moved my hand under his boxers and took hold of his cock.  "We
can't do anything here," he said.

"I know.  This is kind of fun," I said, moving my finger over his cockhead.
"Maybe we can shower together sometime and jerk each other off.  You can
still do that, can't you?" He nodded.

"Do you do stuff with Greg?"

"Seldom.  He still climbs in this bed at night and jerks off and I jerk off
in my bed, but we don't do the mutual stuff."

"If you don't want to do it, we don't have to," I said.

"If I didn't want to, I wouldn't have put my hand where it is."

We lay beside each other, whispering and rubbing.  I told him about Eric
and about being attracted to him.  "Go slowly," he said.  "Don't confuse
feeling empathy and compassion for someone's struggles with being in love
with them." I told him about Brad introducing me to Matt, one of the gay
guys in his house.  "Do you think he's attractive?" I nodded.  "We'll go
for it.  Date.  Take it easy with the sex and especially giving up your
heart."

The entire time we talked, we kept rubbing each other's cockhead.  We both
were leaking pre-cum, which made the rubbing more intense.

"You're getting me close," he whispered.

"Me too.  We can't go to sleep like his.  What can we use?"

He sat up and reached for something on the floor.  I watched.  He had two
of his socks in hand.  "Put his over your cock."

"A sock?"

"You've got a better idea?" I put it over my cock as he put the other one
over his.  "Face me," he said.  We lay facing each other, our noses almost
touching.  We quietly stroked each other.  "Can you come without making
noise," he said and chuckled.  I nodded.

The texture of the cotton sock against my cock was getting me close
quickly.  Suddenly he stopped, grabbed my hand and whispered, "Stop.  I'm
coming." I could feel his body climaxing.  He quietly breathed quickly.  He
sighed and then smiled.

He took the sock off his cock.  "We're still going to do each other in the
shower, right?"

"Definitely," he said, stroking my cock.  Again we were nose to nose.  He
smiled and put his cum socked cock to my nose.  I took it and pressed it
against my nose and breathed in deeply.  He stroked.  I came.

Christmas morning we opened our gifts.  Grandma helped my mother make
breakfast.  After breakfast, Grandma went upstairs and used our bathroom.
Kevin and Steven headed to their bathroom.  My Mom and Dad had already
dressed.  "You can use our shower," Mom said.

"All my stuff is upstairs," I said.  "We'll use our bathroom when she's
done." Alex and I helped my mother clean the kitchen.

When she came down Alex and I excused ourselves and headed upstairs.  Kevin
was coming out of his room.  I whispered, "Did you and Steven take care of
each other?"

"You're kidding right? I jerked off in the shower." He looked at us as we
went into our room.  He followed.  "You should have told me." I smiled.
Alex headed to the bathroom in his boxers.  Kevin lay down on my bed.  "Is
he still doing the jerk off only thing?" I nodded.  "I'll keep watch out
here," he said.  He left the room.  I started undressing.  Kevin came back
with a book.  He lay on my bed.  "I'll keep watch, but you both owe me."

Alex was shaving.  I stepped into the shower.  Moments later, he joined me.
I was already hard.  I smiled at him as I took hold of his junk.  He soaped
up his hand and then ran his hands over my chest.  "You look great," he
said.  "You know my freshman year I had to fight not to get a spare tire
from all that crap they serve in the commons."

"I've just got a high metabolism."

"It's all the sex you're having."

"No, I'm not having that much sex."

"Between jerking off and Brad and now Zack?"

His cock was hard in my hand.  "And Kevin and you," I said smiling.

He turned me around and ran his hands over my back, my buttocks and then
his finger over my hole.  I bent forward.  He slipped his finger in.  I
moaned.  He turned me around.  With his finger in my ass, he stroked my
cock with his other hand.  I leaned into him, took hold of his cock and
stroked.

We leaned into each other, stroking and moaning.  I was getting close.  I
put both my arms over his shoulders and faced him, pressing myself against
him.  His left hand still behind me, with his finger in my ass, he stroked
my cock with his right hand.  I held on to him.  My climax hit hard.  Cum
shot up between us.

He held me tight against him as I caught my breath.  He looked at me and
said, "You know, all these years and you're still my best male friend."

"I love you, too," I said.

"I know."

I wiped my hands over his cum covered chest and took hold of his cock and
stroked.  He closed his eyes and leaned against the shower wall.  He was
getting close.  "So, if I jerk you off and you come in my mouth without me
putting your cock in my mouth, is that okay?"

"You want my cum?" I nodded.  "Sure," he said.  I got on my knees and
stroked his cock.  I looked up at him.  He looked down at me.  "I'm going
to come," he said.  I stroked him with his cock against my tongue.  He put
his hand on my head.  He grunted and with his hand, he pushed my head
toward him, pressing his cock deep into my mouth as he began to come.

He moaned.  I moaned and swallowed.  We held each other.

Having sex with Kevin is hot, exciting, comfortable and fun.  I love having
sex with him.  It was probably the best sex I'd ever had.  But being with
Alex was different.  I loved sleeping with him.  I loved him putting his
hand on my chest and my cock.  I loved jerking off with him in a sock and
in the shower.  But it wasn't the sex.  It was being in Alex's arms.

We dressed and joined Kevin in our room.  "You owe me," he said to me.  I
laughed.  "Like I'd ever say no to you or anything you wanted to," I
whispered. "Just make the time and find the place."

My dad had called his father asking if he wanted to join us for dinner.  He
said no.  We had a great dinner and pies.  No one complained.  No one
argued.  We all talked, ate and laughed.  It was good.

We dropped Steven off at school on our way back.  Zack was excited.  Alex
was driving.  Kevin was sitting up front.  Zack and I shared the backseat.

With all that I had told Zack, I never told him that Kevin was also gay.  I
had said one thing or another, but he hadn't put it together.

We talked about living in the dorms, classes and people we knew at the high
school.  "You know," Zack said, "there are rumors that Coach Roberts is
gay."

"Yeah," Kevin said.  "I'm pretty sure he is.  When my dad was talking about
knowing gay people he said that one of the coaches was gay."

"Really?" Zack said.  "That's cool.  Too bad he doesn't come out.  I think
there are several gay guys who, if they knew he was gay, would go out for
track.  They're just afraid of being gay and being on a team."

"I get that," Kevin said.  "I mean I used to tell the guys that if they
started that crap, I'd kick them off the team, but it was always there.  I
wouldn't have wanted them to know I was gay."

"Excuse me," Zack said.  He looked shocked.  "You mean Josh."

Kevin looked back.  "Didn't you tell him?"

"I guess not."

Zack sat with his mouth open.  "You're fucking kidding me.  You're on our
team?"

Kevin and Alex laughed.  So did I.

"Oh my God," he said.  "Well, just for the record.  I go both ways."

"You're bi?" Kevin said.

"Bi?  No, not bi.  Both ways meaning I can bottom or top."

More laughter.

"And I'm really good, too.  You can ask Josh."

Plans had changed.  Kim decided she wanted to fly in and spend the time
with Alex.  I guess they were going to use the time Greg was away to have
alone time together.  Zack and I would stay with Kevin.  James wasn't
coming back until classes started.  He was taking off skiing with a girl he
recently met through Kim, and another couple.

I asked Kevin if he wanted time alone with Zack.  He thought about it and
decided against it.  He seemed really focused on Paul.

Zack was with us for four days.  He had two auditions.  Kevin drove us to
campus and then went to work.  I walked Zack to the music building and then
sat outside reading.  He seemed nervous but said that kind of energy works
for him.  When he came out after the first audition he looked pleased.  The
woman said he did well.

The next day was another audition.  That one turned out to be a lot
tougher.  In the first audition, he played music he brought with him and
was given a piece to play that he knew.  In the second audition, he had to
sight read and play along with the professor.  Also, he was asked to play
piano.  Again he played music that he brought with him but then was given
music he had not brought with him.

"How did you do?" I asked.

"I think I did okay.  Playing along side him was tough.  I think he was
doing things to throw me off, but I hung in there.  The piano piece was
tough, but luckily I was familiar with it but had never played it."

Zack is the kind of musician who hears a piece of pop music and can play it
by ear.  Obviously, classical music is a lot more difficult.  But, being
familiar with the piece he had never played before gave him an advantage.

Kevin drove and gave me the keys.  I was to pick him up later in the day.
We drove into town and had lunch.  When we got back to the apartment he
wanted to take a shower.  When he went into the bathroom, I stood in the
bedroom trying to decide if I should join him or not.  My cock said yes,
but my brain said maybe not.  My cock won.

I decided if the locked the bathroom door, I'd take that as a no.  I
undressed.  I walked to the bathroom.  The door was ajar.  I smiled.  I
walked into the bathroom.  He was in the shower.  I opened the door.  "You
mind company?"

He smiled.  "Wow," he said.  "So, this has been one of my fantasies."

"Yeah, what's that?"

He took the soap in his hand and started soaping my chest.  "To be in the
locker room showers with you after a big game and have you stand there
while I wash you."

"But there's no big game and this isn't the locker room."

He smiled, moving his hand to my junk.  "Yeah, but we can imagine that
part."

"Do I get to wash you," I asked.

"Josh, you can do anything you want to me." I laughed.

He slowly washed my chest, playing with my nipples, my hands and arms and
shoulders.  "Fuck, you've got such a fantastic body.  I have wet dreams
about our body." I laughed.  He bent down and washed my feet, my legs and
my balls and hard cock.  He took my cock into his mouth and gave me head.
I had to stop him.  He turned me around and washed my back.  He washed my
buttocks and ran his finger down the crack of my ass.  I bent forward.  He
pressed his finger against my hole.  "Is this okay," he asked.



"Very," I said.

He slid his finger inside of me.  I moaned.  He reached between my legs and
stroked my cock.  When I got close, I stopped him.  "Your turn," I said.

Zack's smooth body is slim but tight.  I washed his arms and shoulders and
chest.  When I knelt before him and washed his legs, his cock rubbed
against my face.  I took it into my mouth and deep into my throat.  I
sucked his cock and played with his balls.  He stopped me.

I stood and washed his back and fingered his hole.  He moaned.

We faced each other and kissed.  I stroked his cock.  He stroked mine.
"I'm close," I moaned.  He stroked me hard and moved his face, inches from
my cock.  "I'm going to come," I said.  He kept stroking.  I held the walls
of the shower as I came.

He stood and faced me.  His face and lips were covered with cum.  I stroked
his cock.  We kissed.  I licked his face.  He moaned and began coming.

We held each other.  He felt good in my arms.  I don't think either one of
us wanted to let go.

Standing in the bedroom, drying off, he said, "John was an absolute fool to
give you up."

"You're pretty special yourself," I said.  He smiled.

Two days later, Kevin and I drove Zack to the airport.  I felt sad when we
dropped him off.  "You care about him," Kevin said, driving away.

"Yeah, a lot.  He's never had it easy.  No dad, no siblings, always picked
on at school."

"Not when you were around."

"No, but there was always jokes because he was so into music rather than
sports."

"You think you could be in love with him?"

"I don't know.  I love him.  I want him for a friend forever."

We drove back to the apartment.  Kevin said, "I hope you're horny because
you're not getting much sleep tonight.  I've been waiting days."

I smiled and nodded.  He looked at me and said in a very serious voice,
"Paul is coming to spend time here."

"When?"

"Two days."

"The dorms won't be open.  I'll be in the way."

"No you won't.  You don't mind sleeping on the sofa bed, do you?"

"No," I said.  I felt sad.

"He's wanting us to be exclusive.  I haven't said yes, but I probably
will."

I looked at him.  "So," I said, taking a breath, which quivered in my
chest, "that means that we won't be doing anything."

"Well, we're not exclusive yet.  I don't know if I want to be.  But I
wanted to tell you that he wants to be and I'm thinking about it."

I nodded, wishing I had a place to stay.

"We're having dinner with Alex and Kim," he said checking his watch as we
climbed the stairs.  We had at least two hours before it was time for
dinner.  We went into the apartment.  I went to the refrigerator for a
bottle of water.  As I lifted the bottle to my mouth he grabbed my crotch.
I swallowed and smiled, wondering what he had in mind.  Whatever it was it
was going to be hard to do and not think about this not happening anymore.

He unsnapped my jeans and pulled them and my boxers down to my knees.  He
turned me around and bent me over the counter.  "We have a bed," I said.  I
felt his tongue on my butt hole.  I reached for my cock, but he pushed my
hand away.  I heard him spit.  Leaning forward, I rested my arms on the
counter and held on.  He rubbed his cock head over my wet hole and then
pressed in.  He moaned.  I grunted.  He held my hips and fucked me.

He pushed my shirt up and said, "Pull this off." I did.

He fucked me while running his hands up and down my back, my sides, around
to my chest and to my junk. He leaned forward pressing his chest against my
back.  I turned my head.  We kissed.  He kept fucking me.  "You like this
don't you," he whispered.

"Yes," I said.

He was breathing hard.  I expected him to slow down to make it last, but he
didn't.  He pressed deep into me and moaned loudly.  He was coming.

With his dick still up my ass, he rested against my back, his arms around
me.  I listened to him breathing.  "When was the last time you fucked
someone?" I asked.

"Last time I fucked you.  What about you?"

"I fucked Zack over Thanksgiving."

He kissed me, still breathing hard.  "Condoms?"

"Yeah.  This time we just jerked each other.  Why don't you fuck the guys
you date?"

"I don't want to be fucked by just some date, so I just don't go there.  It
feels really intimate to me."

I kissed him.  He started slowly thrusting again.  I chuckled.  "Again?"

"Yeah, sure, why you too sore?"

"No, but I'd rather be on my back, looking up at you."

We undressed at went to his bed.  He put his cock in me but lay down on me
not moving.  We held each other.  "Why can't I jerk off?"

"Because I want you to fuck me and fuck me hard," he said smiling.

"Then get busy, because I want to come."

He fucked me with me lying on my back, my legs to my chest.  We kissed.  He
pulled my hair.  He bit my neck.  He grabbed and held onto my cock and
balls and kept fucking me.  When he came, I held him tight against me.

Lying on me, between breaths, he whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I know." He looked at me and smiled.

When I returned from the bathroom, he was on the bed but on his knees.  He
looked at me.  "I know you like it the other way, but this time can we,"

"Shut up and bend over," I said.

"Fuck, yeah."

I spit on his ass and rubbed my cockhead around his hole.  "You better hold
onto to something," I said.

He chuckled and then grunted loudly as I pressed deep into him.  I fucked
him hard, the way he wanted.  When I got close I pulled out and had him
stand.  I fucked him bent over.  I pulled out and had him lie face down.  I
climbed on, pressed into him and thrust.  I bit down on his shoulder as I
came.

Neither of us moved as I came off my climax.  He turned his head toward me.
We kissed.  "I know that's not your favorite way to do this, but once in a
while,"

"I'm good with it.  I like that you like it.  I wouldn't want to do it like
that always."

"We should shower."

"Are you okay?" he asked, standing in the shower.  I looked at him.  "I
shouldn't have fucked you like that.  I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay."

"Then what is it?" I sighed.  "The Paul thing?" I shrugged.  "Josh, you
know how I feel about you."

"No, no, I get it.  Really.  And sometime I'll be telling you the same
thing.  It's just an adjustment." He wrapped his arms around me.

"You're the one person in my life that I never want to hurt."

"I'm not hurt.  Really.  Just a little sad, but I was like that when Alex
told me and I'm fine with it.  I promise."

He kissed me.  "I love you," he said. We held each other.

We had dinner with Kim and Alex and watched a movie.  Then Kevin and I went
back to his apartment and climbed in bed.  Naked, we made out.  Leisurely
we sucked each other.  With him on his back and legs wrapped around me, I
fucked him.  He fell asleep first with his arm around me and his leg over
me.

I liked being in his bed and in his arms again.  I wanted him to be in love
and I wanted him to be happy, but I'd miss this part of our relationship.

Kevin went to the airport and picked up Paul.  I had talked to Alex.  He
insisted that I should sleep on his sofa.  "I talked to Kim.  She was the
one who said that you should sleep there."

"I wish the dorms were open."

Kim called me.  "I insist you stay with us.  You can sleep in Greg's bed
until he arrives."

"No.  I'll sleep on the sofa."



I stayed with Alex and Kim.  At first I did feel like I was in the way, but
soon they made me feel comfortable.  I really do love Kim.  It was
beginning to feel like we were family and I liked that.

Kevin, Alex and I worked at the bookstore until classes started.  James
came back the weekend the dorms were opening.  Paul, who also lived in the
dorms, but not the dorms I lived in, moved out of Kevin's apartment.

I had been talking to Brad.  He was coming back that same weekend but would
be at the frat house until Sunday night �big party on Saturday and pro
football game on Sunday.  Brad invited me to the party.  I told him I'd see
him in the dorms Sunday night.

Eric's dad was driving him back to school.  He'd be in sometime on
Saturday.

Saturday afternoon, Kevin dropped me off at the dorms. "So," he said
glancing at me.

"You and Paul are exclusive," I said.

He nodded.  "I'll pick you up tomorrow �pro games and a party."

"Okay," I said getting out of the car.

I called Brad.  "Hey, this party tomorrow, is it for only the bros or could
I come."

"I'll be right there," he said.

"No, not tonight.  Tomorrow."

"I'm on my way.  You're partying with me tonight."

"I'm not staying there all night."

"We'll go back to the dorms."

"What should I wear?"

"Jeans and tee shirt is fine.  Matt's here.  I told him you're gay.  So,
maybe you won't be going to the dorms tonight."

Brad called me when he got to the dorms.  "I'm outside.  Come on down."

I had showered, put on a long sleeve tee shirt and a tee shirt over that
and tucked them into a pair of jeans that fight tight around my hips but
loose in the waist.  I zipped up my hoodie sweatshirt and headed out.

I walked into the headlights of Brad's car.  I waved at him.  When I got
in, he laughed.  "What?"

"Fuck, you look hot."

"Jeans?  Hot?"

"Yeah, the way you fit in them.  I swear I can see your junk."

"You're just wanting head," I said.  "Oh that reminds me.  You owe me."

He laughed.  "Maybe later," he said as he pulled away.  "Matt is excited
about you coming.  He wanted to come with me, but I told him to slow his
motor."



Well, again, this is a good place to stop.  And again, I want to thank most
of you for the emails.  It really helps knowing that people are reading my
story and enjoying it.  For those of you who are finding so many faults
with it for one reason or another -get a life.


Josh