Date: Tue, 03 Aug 2004 20:06:12 -0400
From: Jason Leigh <amabfab@hotmail.com>
Subject: Up Close and Personal 6

The story is fiction. It isn't based on any real characters, events, places
and situations. There is no relationship between the names used and that of
any real person.


CHAPTER 6:

	Shane swallowed hard, his mouth was dry. He couldn't think of a
reply to Drew's question, so he tried to stall for time, "What?"

	"You heard me," Drew replied calmly.

	"Leo?" asked Shane. He laughed nervously, "Did I say Leo?"

	Drew nodded, staring at him intently.

	Shane let out a nervous laugh, "I don't know what just happened
... I'm so out of it ... I'm tired ... I wasn't thinking ... No, I was
... I was thinking ... about you ... but I said the wrong name ... I'm
sorry ..."

	"Okay ...but you didn't answer my question, who is Leo?"

	Shane shook his head, "I don't know. He's nobody ... I'm sorry, I
don't know how it happened."

	"Oh, really ...?"

	"Yeah, I was only thinking about you."

	"It's funny how you want to say one thing but you end up saying
another, huh?"

	"Yes, exactly," said Shane, inwardly he sighed with relief because
it seemed he was going to get away with this.

	"So you don't know anyone called Leo?"

	Shane winced inwardly, he couldn't believe he was about to lie,
"No, I don't."

	"And that's all it was, a simple mistake?" Drew asked patiently, a
little too patiently.

	"Yes." Shane held his breath as Drew moved off him, praying
fervently that this was the end of the conversation.

	On the other side of the bed, Drew began, "I love you Shane."

	Shane sighed and thought, "Oh God, here it comes."

	"But what kind of fucking moron do you take me for?" Drew
continued.

	He should've known it was too good to be true. He looked down and
began counting the number of green stripes on the sheets.

	"You drive me crazy ... being with you is like some kind of
rollercoaster.  One minute I want to wring your neck and the next minute I
want to make love to you until we both drop."

	Drew paused and laughed bitterly, "Do you really expect me to
believe that crap? It was just a mistake? We make love and then you blurt
out the wrong name? Who the fuck does that?"

	Shane sighed, "It's not a big deal. I said I was sorry, alright?
You're making this bigger than it really is."

	"The hell I am, Shane. Fuck, I feel like I don't even know you
anymore. You don't talk to me... Yesterday you didn't want to make love and
today you come on to me like some sex starved maniac, and now this."

	Silence filled the room and Shane realized too late as he counted
the twenty eighth stripe on the sheets, that it was his cue to say
something.

	"Are you even listening to me?" demanded Drew.

	"Yes, I am."

	"And ...?"

	"And what?" asked Shane. His head was pounding and he suddenly felt
very sleepy. He didn't want to argue and he didn't feel like offering any
more excuses. He wanted nothing more than to take a shower and fall
straight into bed.

	"You've got nothing else to say?"

	"Well, besides I'm sorry, nothing else comes to mind."

	"You're not taking this seriously."

	"Why should I? You're making something out of nothing."

	"Saying that you love someone else, is nothing?"

	"I said it was a mistake ..."

	Drew interrupted him angrily "Fuck that Shane. All the clues point
to ..."

	"They point to nothing. Why don't you come outright and ask me what
you really want to."

	"Fine, Shane ... Are you cheating on me?"

"No ... I'm not ... and I can't believe you're asking me that?"

	"I'm sorry but what am I supposed to think? I feel like I don't
know you anymore ... Do you still love me?"

	There was a slight pause and then "Yes."

	Drew searched Shane's blue eyes, wanting desperately to believe
him. He made a decision and got off the bed and then went into the
bathroom, shutting the door gently behind him.

	Shane heard the lock click in place and he knew he wasn't wanted in
there.  He sat on the edge of the bed and covered his face with his hands,
wondering what he was doing. He wished he knew the answer. He couldn't get
Leo out of his mind and his relationship with Drew was falling apart. He'd
lied to Drew today for the first time ever. Mostly he'd avoided the truth
but the part about not knowing Leo was a complete lie. He sighed with
relief that Drew hadn't connected Leo Malone on TV last night to the name
he'd let slip.

	The bathroom lock clicked again and Drew walked out with a towel
wrapped around his lean waist and water glistening on his body. He went
into the closet and came out dressed about five minutes later, holding a
black overnight bag stuffed full of clothes.  He ignored Shane and went
around the room picking up things and throwing in the bag.

	Shane watched him and finally asked, "Where are you going?"

	Drew sighed then glanced at Shane briefly, "Out."

	"You're leaving..."

	Drew stopped packing and turned around, "I'll be back tomorrow."

	Shane directed his gaze at the bag full of clothes. Drew saw him
and said quickly, "Maybe the day after or next week, I don't know ... I'll
be at Brian's place ... I'll call you."

	Shane was silent for a while and said "You're doing what you do
best ...  leaving."

	"I'll be back. I need some time alone. Right now, I don't know if
you even want me here. I need to think about this ... about us ..."

	"So think here ..."

	"I can't, Shane. We've got problems ... I need to be away from
here."

	"And away from me ...?"

	"Well, you are part of the problem," admitted Drew.

	"I can't believe you're doing this. You went away for four months
then you came back and now you're doing it again ..."

	"Why are you bringing that up? Don't make this about me," warned
Drew.

	 "Why shouldn't I? You're the one leaving ... You're the one who
always leaves. First you had commitment issues ... You didn't know if you
still loved me and you had to get away ..."

	"Well I came back, didn't I?"

	"That's not the point."

	"I left not because I wanted to, but because I had to. You're the
one always sending me mixed signals."

	"And you're the one always walking away ... Things have changed,
Drew. I'm not going to wait around for you forever."

	"I don't know if I want you to."

	"What's that supposed to mean? Why did you come back?"

	Drew was silent as he thought of what he was going to say, "I
thought it what was what I wanted ... I thought I wanted you back and I
thought you felt the same way, but you just said you loved someone else
... and now I don't know what to think."

	"I didn't say that ..."

	"Well, you sure as hell came close to it, and you still haven't
convinced me otherwise."

	"What do you want from me?"

	Drew sighed, "I don't know."
	"I'm not perfect," said Shane.

	Drew replied, "And I don't want you to be ..."

	"Going away solves nothing."

	"I know ... I just don't want to be here ... right now."

	Shane said nothing, so Drew grabbed his bag and walked to the
door. He stopped and turned around, "You want know what I want from you? I
want everything ... because when I'm with you, something's always missing
... It's like some part of your heart is sealed to me forever and I just
can't reach it ... no matter how hard I try."

	He reached to open the door, but paused again "Or maybe it's just
me ... I don't know ... I guess I'll figure that out."

	Shane looked down at his hands, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ..."

	"You never mean to, Shane ... but you do it anyway, and it hurts
like hell...  What are you sorry about? Getting caught? Not loving me? Not
loving me enough? Being a jerk? Which? While I'm thinking of us, why don't
you think about that?"

	He yanked the door open and Jasmine ran into the room and jumped
into Shane's laps, yelping as loud as she could.

	Drew paused and looked from her to Shane. "I'm not taking her
... this time."  He closed the door softly behind him.


************


	At 12.10 PM, Jenny walked into her office with a big smile on her
face and two paper plates in her hands. In her right hand was a huge slice
of chocolate cake and in her left hand was another huge slice of strawberry
shortcake. She sat quickly at her desk and began the difficult process of
deciding which one to eat first. Chocolate or strawberry... Strawberry or
chocolate ... Her gaze moved back and forth from one plate to the other
until she finally decided on the chocolate cake. With a satisfied smile,
she raised her fork and was about to dig in when the phone rang. She stared
at it angrily, wondering who it was. Why couldn't they let her eat her
cake, in peace? She sighed, dropped her fork and picked up the phone.

	"Up Close and Personal, Jenny Moe, How may I help you?"

	"Hi, Jenny"

	"Fuck," thought Jenny, "What did he want?"

	"It's Drew."

	"I know ... How may I help you ... Drew?"

	"Uh ... do you have a minute?"

	Jenny stared at the slabs of cake on her desk, "For you Drew, I've
got all the time in the time in the world."

	"Is ...um ... is Shane there?"

	She looked around her office, "Nope, I'm all alone."

	"Have you talked to Shane today?" he asked.

	"No, I haven't seen him."

	"So he hasn't said anything to you?"

	"I said I haven't seen him today."

	"Oh, yeah ... sorry ..."

	"Is everything alright?"

	"No..." began Drew. "I want to ask you ... It's Shane ... He ... I
think ..." He paused.

	"I don't understand ... Is everything alright with you guys?" said
Jenny.

	Drew was silent and then he asked suddenly, "Is Shane seeing
someone else?"

	"WHAT?" Jenny exclaimed.

	Drew repeated, "I said, is Shane seeing ..."

	"No, I heard you the first me," said Jenny as she began
laughing. "Are you kidding me? Do you really want me to answer that?"

	"Yes ... I think so."

	"NO! Damn it. Why the hell do you even have to ask? Shane would
never cheat on you."

	"Well that's what I thought until ..."

	"Until what ...?"

	"No, never mind. And you're sure there's no one else."

	"Why don't you ask him?"

	"I already did."

	"What? You already did? What did he say?"

	"He said he isn't."

	"So why don't you believe him? He won't lie to you."

	"I know ... or at least, I thought I did. It's just a feeling
... Jenny, are you sure? Has he ever said anything about ...?"

	Jenny cut in quickly, "Drew, I don't think we should be having this
conversation. I'm his best friend ... I can't tell you anything he's told
me ..."

	"But ..."

	"I'm sorry ... You should talk to him. I can't help you. Even if I
know something, which I don't, I wouldn't tell you ... I just can't ... I'm
sorry."

	Drew was silent, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you in the middle
of this..."

	"It's okay."

	"Uh ... would you do me a favor ... please?"

	"Depends ..."

	"Well, um ... could you ... um ...not tell Shane about this call?"

	Jenny thought hard, "I can't lie to him ..."

	"Okay ... um ... if he doesn't ask, could you not talk about it?"

	She sighed, "Okay, I think I can do that."

	"Thanks a lot, Jenny."

	"Sure ... no problem ... Um ... Drew ...? I really think you should
talk to Shane ... It might help ..."

	"I tried that already and he wasn't bothered, he didn't seem to
care ... he ...  I'm sorry I shouldn't be telling you this ... I'm sorry,"
and he hung up.

	Jenny put down the phone and stared blankly into space. She thought
about calling Drew but reconsidered. What the hell was going on? Shane had
a lot of explaining to do.


************


	Shane heard a sharp rap on his door, but he didn't answer because
he knew she was going to come in anyway.

	"Hey," she said, "I brought you some cake."

	Shane smiled, "Hi Jenny."

	She dropped both plates on his desk then walked around and kissed
him lightly on his forehead.

	Shane looked at her in surprise, "What was that for?"

	"Nothing," she said, "I just felt like it."

	Shane nodded as she went back around to the other side and sat
opposite him. She grinned at him and pushed the two plates towards
him. "Choose one."

	Shane stretched his hand for the strawberry shortcake but Jenny
withdrew the plate and pouted.

	"But you know I love strawberry." She said

	"I thought chocolate was your favorite."

	"Well ... chocolate AND strawberry."

	"Why don't you choose, Jenny?"

	"Okay ... I'll have this ... no ... I'll have chocolate ... okay
... okay ... I'll have strawberry."

	She pushed Shane's plate in front of him and then forked out a
large chunk and put it in her mouth.

	As she chewed, she closed her eyes and began moaning out loud. "Do
you know how long I've been waiting for this moment," she said.

	"A long time, I imagine."

	"Too long ..."

	She continued moaning until Shane said, "Could you stop that
please, you sound like you're in the middle of an orgasm."

	Her eyes shot open and she said with a laugh, "Believe me Shane, it
takes a whole lot more than strawberry shortcake."

	Shane smiled and continued watching her; it seemed that in two more
mouthfuls, she would be done eating.

	"So ..." he asked, "What's the cake for...?"

	"It's Emma's birthday today," Jenny said, "She says she's twenty
eight, but I think she looks more like thirty eight ... what do you think?"

	Shane shrugged and watched as she finished with the cake and put
the plate down.

	She smiled at him and said, "How are you doing?"

	He raised an eyebrow in surprise and replied slowly, "Good ... and
how are you ...?"

	"Pretty good," she replied. She was thinking of a way to bring up
Drew without looking too suspicious. Suddenly, she had a bright idea.

	"I was thinking of maybe ... a double date tonight, me, you, Mark
and Drew ...  What do you think?"

	She noticed the dark shadows clouding Shane's bright blue eyes
suddenly as he shifted his gaze away from her, and she felt guilty about
what she was doing ... but...

	Shane shook his head and mumbled, "No. Today isn't a good day."

	Jenny smiled brightly, "Tomorrow?"

	He shook his head again and tried to avoid looking at her.

	Jenny persisted, "Day after that?"

	"Maybe later"

	"Next week?"

	"Much later..."

	"Not sooner...?"

	Shane asked, "When did you become so interested in hanging out with
Drew ...  You don't like him."

	"Actually that's an understatement but ..." She put on an innocent
face, "I just that since we're such good friends, our boyfriends should at
least get acquainted ..."

	Shane looked at her suspiciously, "Oh really? When did Mark become
your boyfriend anyway?"

	Sighing, Jenny said, "Well you see, I realized that calling him my
boyfriend is a slightly more polite phrase than ...uh ... say ... my
sometime fuck partner."

	Shane smiled and hoped the conversation was over.

	Unfortunately, Jenny started again, "You sure we can't do dinner
today?"

	Shane knew he was getting nowhere so he confessed finally, "Drew
left."

	She gasped, "WHEN?!"

	"Yesterday ..."

	Drew conveniently left out that bit of information when he called
her earlier. Bastard! "But ... but ...why ...?" She said out loud. "Oh my
God ...  that's a record ... even for Drew ... you've been together for
... what? Two ...three weeks...? She giggled, "This would definitely go
down in history, for sure."

	"Well, I'm glad it amuses you."

	She clapped her hand to her mouth, "Oh no, I'm sorry."

	Shane smiled, "If it weren't so absurd, I'd probably be laughing
too."

	"You don't look worried."

	"Why would I be?"

	"Well I thought ... I don't know... you look okay ... Don't you
care?"

	"Of course I care ... He is my boyfriend."

	"Is?"

	"He'll be back"

	"You think?"

	"I'm sure."

	"Why? Oh, I know! He left Jasmine with you."

	Shane nodded.

	"I guess he'll be back soon. He can't stay away from her for too
long."

	Shane nodded again.

	"But doesn't that bother you? That he might come back, only because
of her.  ...?"

	"I don't know, should it?"

	Jenny looked at him in surprise, "Come on Shane, what's going on
here?  You're acting ... different ... You're supposed to be Mr. Sensitive
... Mr.  Emotional ... but you're so nonchalant about it all ... Don't you
want him back?"

	"I guess so, but I'm not gonna get myself all worked up about
it. If he comes back, it's gonna be fine ..."

	"And if he doesn't ..."

	"I'll think about it when it happens ..."

	Jenny reached out and held his hand, "Well, I'm happy you're not
all ..."  suddenly she dropped his hand and pointed at the uneaten cake on
his desk, "Are you gonna eat that?"

	"Why? Do you want it?"

	"Are you gonna eat it?"

	"You can have it."

	"Oh Shane, I love you." She declared as she reached for the plate.

	In between mouthfuls, she asked, "Why did he leave?"

	"He thinks I'm cheating on him."

	"What gave him that idea?"

	"Uh ... Something I said."

	"Something like ...?"

	"Something very stupid ..."

	"Stupid?" she wondered. "What ... you declared your love for
someone else in front of me?"

	Shane's heart skipped a beat.

	Jenny laughed, "That would be something, wouldn't it? Oh well
... you don't have to tell me ... I just want to see you happy ... and
... mmm ... this cake is so delicious ... and if being without Drew makes
you happy, because I know it makes me happy ... then I'm right ... mmm
... beside you ... I mean behind you ...uh ...  one hundred percent."

	"Well, I don't think you're going to be happy for too long."

	Jenny pouted as she realized what he was trying to tell her. "I
know a lot of great guys I could hook you up with ..."

	Suddenly she became excited and sat up, "Oh yeah, this new guy,
Michael, just moved in next door to me and he is so hot ... He's Australian
... Oooh, you should hear his accent ... it's so sexy ... it makes you want
to take your clothes off ..."

	"Have you?"

	Jenny grinned, "No .... Not yet ... and ... and he's like a cross
between Brad Pitt and ... uhh ... what's the name of the guy in that movie
where ..."

	"I'm not single, Jenny"

	"I know but he's so cute though... and he's your type ... tall
... long dark hair ... sexy and ... oooh ... you're gonna love this
... he's artistic ... he paints and he sings ... he's got this band ..."

	"I don't want think I want another musician in my life."

	"Huh ... what do you mean another musician? You've never dated
one."

	"Shit," thought Shane. Me and my big mouth! "Just kidding," he said
quickly.

	"Oh! Okay." Her eyes lit up as she began again, "And he's so sweet
and charming ... he brought me flowers yesterday ... daisies ... because he
remembered I'd told him that they were my favorite ..."

	"Well maybe he likes you."

	"No," said Jenny shaking her head. "I met his boyfriend already."

	"His boyfriend ...? And you're trying to ..."

	"Oh, that doesn't matter. Believe me, when I introduce you two, the
sparks are gonna start flying ..."

	"Well, no sparks are going to fly, because I'm not interested."

	"Oh you will be when you meet him."

	Shane laughed, "You never cease to amaze me."

	"Give a pen. I'll write you his number."

	"I don't want it."

	"But he's such a great guy."

	"I've got a great guy in my life already."

	"Who ...? Drew ...?"

	"Yes, Drew."

	Jenny sat back dejectedly. "It would've worked out so perfectly."

	"I love Drew."

	"I'm sure you do."

	"He's great."

	"He's greatness personified."

	"And nice ..."

	"Yeah, he takes the prize."

	"And he's sweet."

	"Sweeter than syrup ..."

	"The sex is great."

	"I'll take your word for it."

	"Why are you so cynical?"

	"About Drew ...? Can't help it ... he always brings out the best in
me."

	"You know I'm not gonna leave him."

	"Not if he leaves you first ... like he's done again and again."

	Shane said nothing; instead he turned and stared out the window.

	Jenny felt a pang of guilt and regret. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
hurt you."

	Shane turned back to know and said, "I know."

	"You know how I feel about Drew. Let's not talk about this
anymore."

	Shane nodded.

	"You and Michael would've made such a great couple though."

	"Drop it, Jenny."

	She grinned, "Okay ... Let's do lunch. Now! I'm starving. My treat
..."

	"You can't be hungry. Not after what you just ate!" said Shane in
surprise.

	"Oh God, yes ... That was just dessert."

	She tugged Shane's hands as she got up. "I'm working
backwards. I've still got room left for some pasta ... and a salad ... no
I'll do soup instead and maybe an appetizer ... or two."

	Shane stood up, "Then you'd better get started."


**********


	Leo surveyed the crowded restaurant around him with bored
indifference.  Everyone seemed happy, carrying on with their lives, hardly
a care in the world.

	"Aren't you hungry?" a voice asked.

	He looked down at the plate in front of him. "Ah, yes," he
thought. "This was his last meal ... before going into rehab." He pushed
the plate away from him. The smell of food was making his stomach turn.

	"Fuck everyone", he thought resentfully. "Fuck Dr. Greene for
recommending a three month stay in a fucking hell hole in the middle of
nowhere. One session and he thinks he knows everything about me. Okay he's
been my shrink for three years ... but ... but ... fuck him anyway. And
fuck Atlantis for making me go in to see Dr. Greene. Assholes ... they
don't care about me; all they cared about was the tour ... and their
money. He briefly considered leaving them, but remembered he'd just signed
a five year contract with them. Fuck Paul for ... He tried hard to think of
something to hold against Paul, but couldn't come up with anything. Well
fuck him anyway. Oh yeah, he remembered. The most important one of all,
fuck me. How could he miss that?  His life had been going great, fabulous
in fact, until ..."

	"Would you like something else?"

	Leo turned his attention back to Paul, sitting opposite him, who
was more than halfway done with his food.

	"What time am I leaving?"

	Paul sighed. He'd answered this question more times than he cared
to remember. "At 3.45 this afternoon."

	Leo nodded as he looked at his watch; he had approximately two
hours of freedom left.

	He took a sip of water and grimaced at the taste, "And where is
this place again?"

	"You really should pay more attention, Leo. I've repeated this over
and over ..."

	"I don't need a fucking lecture. All I want to know is where ..."

	"It's the Stony Brook Rehabilitation Center in Idaho."

	"Sounds like a retirement home to me," muttered Leo.

	"It's the best. You're gonna like it"

	"Sure I will."

	"I mean it. It's great. Its a thousand acre ranch near the
mountains and there are horses and ..."

	"Do I look like a fucking cowboy to you?" snapped Leo.

	 Paul continued, "I've got the brochures if you want to take a
look."

	"Why hurry? I'll be there in a few hours."

	There was silence until Paul asked, "Don't you like your food?"

	"It's fine."

	"Would you like something else?"

	"No."

	"You should eat something. When you get there, you might not like
what they ..."

	"Okay, mother."

	Paul was very surprised at Leo's sudden compliance and he motioned
for the waiter.

	"I want ..." began Leo. And then he stopped to think.

	The waiter offered him the menu and he flipped through it. He
turned to Paul and asked what he was having. When Paul told him, he nodded
and continued looking until he finally handed it back.

	"I'll have ..."

	The waiter smiled and nodded encouragingly, pen in hand and ready
to write.

	Leo's eyes flickered over to Paul and then back to the waiter,
"I'll have ...  a vodka martini."

	Paul raised his head from his food in surprise, "NO!"

	"No way, Leo. You can't. Get something else."

	The waiter looked from Paul to Leo in confusion.

	"Something else ...? Fine." asked Leo. He turned back to the
waiter, "Scotch and soda, tall glass, lots of ice."

	Paul shook his head angrily and waved the waiter away.

	"Are you fucking crazy?" exploded Paul. "You just got out of the
hospital yesterday ... You're going into rehab today ... and you ... and
you ... Are you fucking crazy?"

	Leo stared idly around the room, "Well, I had to try," and then he
moved his gaze slowly back to Paul.

	"You love doing this, don't you?"

	"Doing what?" asked he innocently.

	"Getting a rise out of me?"

	Leo grinned, "Yeah I couldn't resist ... You're just so easy."

He caught sight of a woman, two tables away, who seemed to have poured
herself into a tight red dress, staring at him. She had blue eyes and long
blonde hair, which she twirled around her fingers. She batted her eyelashes
and licked her lips suggestively. He looked away, totally uninterested.

	He studied a woman who walked in accompanied by a man. She was
small, about 5ft 2inches, he guessed. She was dressed in jeans, an
oversized pink T-shirt and sneakers. Her red hair fell carelessly over her
face and she tossed it back as the man pulled out a chair for her and she
sat down.

Leo looked back at the blonde woman who still staring intently at him. Oh
shit, he thought, now her friend, a brunette, was watching him too. He
watched as they stood up and made their way towards him.

	He turned his attention back to the red head. She was studying the
menu, alone; he wondered briefly where her partner was. Someone brushed
past his shoulder and Leo looked up irritated, and gaped in surprise.

	The person murmured sorry, but didn't bother looking back.

	Leo sat in shock, his mouth wide open as he watched the retreating
figure make his way to the men's room. He looked at Paul, "Did you just see
..."

	Paul dragged his concentration from his steak to Leo, "Huh?"

	Leo shook his head, "Don't worry."

	 Paul nodded.

	"Go after him," a voice screamed out to him. A calmer voice said,
"You've got nothing to say to him. It's all over. Get over it." The
maniacal voice screamed out again, "You dumb fuck, don't mess this up
again. GO!" The calm voice, "Ignore him. He didn't see you. He's not
interested." Maniacal voice, "GO coward! GO dumb fuck! GO damn it!"

	He jumped up suddenly as if he'd been pulled "Uh ... I've got to
... uh ... I'll be right back."

	Paul nodded again, distractedly.

	He turned back to see the blonde and brunette staring at him
disappointedly as they got to his table.

	He reached the bathroom and paused, took in a deep breath, and then
pushed the door open.


**********


	Washing his hands at the sink, Shane heard his name called and his
heart skipped a beat. He closed his eyes, cursing whichever gods were
playing a joke on him, and then he opened them again. He could do either of
two things; if he looked up, he would see Leo's reflection in the mirror or
if he turned around, he would see Leo in person. He did neither. Not
because he wanted to, but because he was frozen and he couldn't help it. He
stared unseeingly at the running water and tried to think of something
... anything ...  but his mind was blank.

	"Shane?" Leo called out again, a bit uncertain this time.

	"Good," thought Shane, he'd hated the confident tone he'd heard the
first time. He closed the faucet, and then forced himself to turn slowly.

	His breath caught in the back of his throat, as he caught sight of
Leo.  "Damn, he looks good," was his first thought. He said nothing out
loud, taking in Leo's troubled dark eyes, a few day's worth of stubble on
his chin and cheeks and his dark hair, which was longer than he
remembered. But even with all that, Shane had to correct himself, "He looks
fucking good."

	He wasn't going to make this easy on him so he said nothing. He
knew he was making him nervous, but he really didn't care. He came after me
and not the other way round; let him make the first move.

	"I ... umm..." Leo began.

	Shane lifted one quizzical blonde brow in a look that both managed
to be questioning and insulting.

	Leo gulped hard and tried to start again, "Can ...umm ... can we
talk?"

	"Go ahead," he replied shortly.

	"Umm ... alone ...?"

	"Now's a good time... it will definitely be the second and last
time you'll get me alone."

	In the bright fluorescent light, Shane could see Leo blushing
deeply, his eyes getting darker with embarrassment.

	"Paul told me you called yesterday ... Thanks."

	Shane nodded. When Leo said nothing else, he made a move to step
away from the sink but Leo reached out for his arm, pleading, "Wait
... please don't go."

	Shane shook Leo's hand off and stepped back again. Angry that he'd
let Leo touch him, but strangely pleased at the same time. Erotic images of
both of them slowly began to creep into his mind, but he shook his head to
get rid of them. He hated that he still found Leo so attractive.

	"Focus Shane", he reminded himself. "You're supposed to be angry."

	"I ... I'm sorry ... about what happened ..." said Leo.

	"Don't be ... because I'm not."

	"No, I'm not sorry about what happened ... I mean ... I'm sorry
about what I did afterwards ... about leaving ... the way I did."

	Shane watched him silently.

	"I didn't mean to hurt you ...and ... uh ... I'm sorry."

	"Are you finished?" Shane asked abruptly. He'd considered saying
something but changed his mind. What exactly was the normal response to an
unsolicited apology, he wondered. He didn't care for Leo's apology or
regret. He knew that he was acting unnecessarily hostile, but
unfortunately, he knew that Leo couldn't give what he wanted

	"No ... I mean ... yes ... um ... Shane, it was nothing personal
... I couldn't help it ... I ..."

	 "Nothing personal ...?" Shane cut in angrily, "I have never
understood why people use that phrase, nothing personal. All it means is it
was nothing personal to you but it was personal to me, okay? Shane stopped
suddenly, angry at himself for showing emotions.

	"I can't do this," he said. "I've got to go." He stepped around Leo
and made for the door. His hand was an inch from the door handle when Leo
blurted out suddenly, "I want to see you again."

	Shane stopped and turned around, staring in disbelief at Leo, "You
can't be serious?" he asked.

	"I want ...I need to see you again."

	"Why?"  Shane asked curiously, he couldn't believe what he was
hearing.

	Leo inhaled deeply and thought hard about what he was going to
say. He began slowly, "Because ... I'm intensely attracted to you ... I
can't deny it any longer ... and I can't pretend about how I feel."

	Shane shook his head slowly, "I don't think that would be such a
good idea, Leo."

	"Why? Because of what happened before?"

	"No, I'm past that. There are other things."

	"I know you feel the same way I do."

	"No, Leo ... you have no idea how I feel."

	"Aren't you willing to consider ...?"

	"No ... we shouldn't even be having this conversation. You're with
Joni and I'm with ..."

	"We broke up."

	Shane was unmoved, "You broke up? Well that's just too bad. You two
were probably perfect for each other ... No ... sorry ... I shouldn't have
said that.  He sighed, "Leo, it's never going to happen ... again ... What
happened in Los Angeles was a one time thing and I think we should leave it
that way.  Besides you've got your career to think about."

	"I don't give a flying fuck about my career."

	"You will, when you're on the cover of every tabloid in the
country."

	Leo was silent and then he said, "I'll deal with that, if and when
it happens."

	Shane contemplated his decision. He wanted this didn't he? He'd
been waiting for this to happen. He was in love with Leo, and here he was,
offering him ... an affair ... fling ... what exactly was he offering?

	"A fling?" he asked Leo, out loud

	"It could be more."

	"But you're not in love with me, are you?"

	"I ... I don't know," admitted Leo.

	"And yet, you're willing to risk everything for this."

	Leo nodded slowly.

	"We both have things to lose if we do this. You're willing to risk
your career Leo, but I'm not willing to risk my heart. Not again ... I'm
sorry."

	He opened the door and walked out quickly, not waiting to hear
Leo's reply.  Leo's first impulse was to go after him, but he stopped
himself. He ran his hands through his dark hair, not sure if he understood
all that Shane had told him. Was Shane afraid of giving his heart to him or
had he already done so? He heard the door open behind him and he looked
back, hoping to see Shane. It was someone else.

	As Leo walked out, he bumped into Blondie and her friend, Brunette,
who were both giggling excitedly. Blondie gushed out how excited she was to
meet him and told him that she had every single one of his albums. She
offered him her arm to sign his autograph while Brunette offered him the
front of her white top. He looked up hoping to catch a glimpse of Shane,
but he was already gone.


*********


	"You were away so long, I ordered for both of us. I hope that's
okay." said Jenny.

	"Yeah, thanks," said Shane as he sat down.

	"What happened?" she asked.

	"Uh ... there was ... uh ... a long line ... at the bathroom."

	"Oh, okay." She stared closely at Shane, "Are you alright?"

	"What? Yeah ... why wouldn't I be?"

	"Nothing ... you look pale ... like you just saw a ghost or
something."

	"I'm fine."

	Jenny shrugged and took a sip of her white wine, still watching
Shane closely. She noticed his eyes darting frequently behind her. Suddenly
she couldn't take it any longer.

	"What is wrong with you?" She exclaimed turning round to see what
Shane was staring at. She caught sight of Leo walking in with two women who
seemed to have draped themselves on him.

	She said in surprise, "Oh my God, that's Leo Malone. I thought he
was in the hospital... he just OD'd yesterday and he's here."

	"I guess it was nothing serious," muttered Shane.

	"Nothing serious ...? I heard he almost died."

	Shane swallowed hard when he heard that. He'd forgotten about that
in the bathroom. Maybe he should've been less harsh with him.

	"He's so fucking gorgeous," continued Jenny.

	Shane nodded in agreement, "That he is."

	They watched as Leo peeled the two women off his arms and made his
way to his seat. He sat down then scanned the room looking for a particular
face.  Jenny realized suddenly that he was staring at Shane.

	She turned slowly from Leo to Shane and then back to Leo and Shane
again.  Shane was finally able to tear his eyes away from Leo and he saw
Jenny looking at him in astonishment.

	"Shane? Why ... Why is Leo Malone staring at you?"

	Shane thought quickly, "Uh ... we ... I ... bumped into him in the
bathroom and we ... ah ... talked ... it's ... ah ... nothing."

	The explanation satisfied Jenny but she turned to look at Leo one
last time and said to Shane, "He's watching you ... like ... I don't know
... like he knows you ... and ... it's like you've got something he wants."

	Shane laughed nervously, "You're being paranoid, Jenny. Relax."

	"Good thing I'm not you, Shane."

	"Huh?"

	"In LA," giggled Jenny, "I never would've interviewed him. He's too
hot.  I'd rather spend all my time trying to get him into bed."

	Shane blushed and muttered under his breath, "You have no idea."


**********


	Paul signed the check and then turned to Leo. "We should leave for
the airport now."

	Leo slowly looked away from Shane and back to Paul. "I'm not
going," he announced.

	Paul stared at Leo in shock. "We talked about this, Leo. You can't
back out now. I've made all the arrangements. "

	"I can't leave now."

	"Why? What happened? What changed?"

	Leo's gaze shifted back to Shane. "My priorities are slightly
different now."

	"What do you mean? You made a deal with Atlantis. They expect you
to ..." He paused and followed Leo's eyes. "Shane Roderick?" he said
slowly.

	Leo didn't reply.

	Paul sighed and pulled out his cell phone to cancel the plane he'd
booked for Leo. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

	"Yes."

	Paul sat back and said, "I wondered how long it would be, before
you went after him. Nothing ever stops you. But what makes you think he
... Why would he ... Do you really think that he would ..."

	Leo's eyes narrowed with surprise at Paul, "I'm surprised at you
... I thought you knew me better than this."

	"Is he worth it? Do you think you'll get him?"

	"I don't know Paul ... but I intend to."


***********


	Shane looked at the phone as it rang. He knew who it was, and he
didn't feel like talking to Drew. He looked over at Jasmine and said, "If
you tell me to, I'll get the phone."

	Jasmine stared at him with soft, unblinking brown eyes. Shane
smiled at her, "I guess not."

	He ignored the phone and stared unseeingly at the television. There
was a beep and he heard the voicemail give off the recorded message, and
then Drew's voice, "Shane ... Are you there? Please pick up ..." there was
a slight pause and then he sighed, "I guess you're not home ... uh
... how're you doing?  I ... uh ...I've been doing a lot of thinking
... and uh ... I won't be home tomorrow ... maybe next week ... uh ... call
me when you get back. As if an afterthought, he added, "I miss you."

	Shane exhaled softly when the message was over. He began debating
whether or not to call back. The phone rang again, interrupting his
thoughts and he stared at it in surprise. It couldn't be Drew again. Maybe
it was Jenny. He leaned over and answered it.

	"Hello?"

	"Shane, hi ... it's Leo"

	"Leo? Uh ... hi ... what do you want?"

	"That's not a nice way to speak to ..."

	"What do you want, Leo?" Shane repeated.

	He sighed and said, "You forgot something of yours with me."

	Shane was surprised, "What? What is it?"

	"Uh ...it's your pen."

	Shane was silent and then he burst out laughing, "No, Leo. That's
not going to work this time."

	"Huh?" asked Leo innocently.

	"I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work."

	"I don't know what you're talking about Shane, but I think it's
yours. You should take a look at it ... I could bring it over ..."

	"NO!" exclaimed Shane. "You don't have to. I know it isn't mine
..."

	The door bell rang suddenly and he looked at the door, deciding
that it was probably Jenny. No one else came by unannounced.

"Could you hold on a second, Leo?"

"Sure."

He walked to the door and flung it open, glad to have some company. "Leo!"
he gasped out in surprise.

	There he was leaning against the door frame, casually dressed in
faded jeans and a dark T-shirt and holding a cell phone to his ear.

	"Hi, Shane," he said with a small smile.

	"What are you doing here?"

	Leo smiled even wider and dug his hand in his back pocket. He
pulled out a pen and swung it in front of Shane's face. "I know this is
yours. You forgot it ..."

	Shane couldn't help but laugh. He shook his head, "Not again,
Leo. That's not mine. You've used that excuse one too many times."

	Leo persisted, "Are you sure? I distinctly remember you using this
today ..."

	"In the bathroom ...? I don't think so."

	"Well maybe if you let me in, we could figure it..."

	Shane pulled the door closely to his back. "That isn't a good idea
Leo. I know what's going to happen if you come in ..."

	Leo grinned, "Absolutely nothing."

	"I don't trust you."

	"You should."

	"Fine, I don't trust myself."

	"That's better ... but it means you want the same thing I do."

	"I never denied that Leo. I just don't think I can ... deal with
it."

	Leo took a step forward and moved his face closer to Shane's, "Are
you sure ... are you sure you can't deal with this?" He put his two hands
on the sides of Shane's face and pulled his mouth to his.

	Shane's senses went into overdrive. He was aware of how much he'd
wanted and needed this to happen. He tried to hold back at first, but when
he felt Leo's tongue trying to part his lips, he gave up any form of
resistance and deepened the kiss. He let Leo's tongue plunge into his mouth
and slide against his tongue.

	He heard a low moan come from the back of his own throat as he
pulled Leo even closer to him. "Oh God, where is my self control," he
wondered. He was obviously not a disciplined person where Leo Malone was
concerned.

	Shane realized that things were spiraling out of control when he
felt Leo's hard organ rubbing against his and he realized that his hands
were moving slowly underneath Leo's shirt and up his back. Leo was
determined to turn him on, and it seemed that he was succeeding.

	Quickly, he pulled his hands out and pushed Leo away. His breath
was coming out in short pants.

	"I ... you ... we shouldn't have done that ... You should go," said
Shane half-heartedly.

	Leo reached out for him again, "Shane ..."

	"No ... I said ... you ... you ... should leave now," he said with
more resolve.

	Shane stepped backwards into the apartment and shut the door
quickly. He leaned against it and ran his hands through his hair. Jasmine
lay on the couch, still watching him and he turned to her, "I did the right
thing, didn't I?"

	She blinked, and then put her head down on her paws. Shane sighed,
"Who the fuck am I kidding?"

	He turned around and opened the door. Leo was still there, a huge
smile on his face, "I hoped you would change your mind."

	Shane grabbed the front of his T-shirt and pulled him in, "Shut up
... and kiss me ..."


TO BE CONTINUED...


Thoughts ... Comments ... Email me! amabfab@hotmail.com