Date: Sun, 10 Jul 2005 22:56:26 -0500
From: Jason Leigh <jayse@mindless.com>
Subject: Up Close and Personal Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Grey Sky Morning


There'd been just one thing on Shane's mind all through dinner. Now, they
were on the way to his apartment, and it was still on his mind. One, two,
three... shit... the damn elevator was going so fast, that they'd be there
in no time at all... seven, eight. Ding! The doors slid open.

It was now or never... and he was still no where close to a decision.

They walked slowly through the corridor and stopped at his door.

He sighed, "I guess this is goodnight."

Drew leaned against the wall, "Yeah, I guess it is," he said with a smile.

Shane fiddled with his keys and stared at the door while wondering the best
way to bring up the subject. Their last two dates had ended the same way;
fearing rejection, he'd back down at the last second.

Drew reached for him, turning him so that they faced each other. Shane
relaxed and laid his head against Drew's shoulder. A ripple went through
him as Drew's arms pulled him closer; his breath flowing slowly over his
neck and warming his skin. He closed his eyes and let himself get lost in
the simple pleasure of being held by the one he loved.

After a few moments, Drew pulled back and then leaned forward to kiss
him. It was a soft lingering kiss that made Shane long for more, but it
ended all too quickly.

Drew let go of him, so he inserted his key into the lock. All night long,
he'd been weighing the pros and cons of the ultimate question. The answer
seemed clear enough now. He pulled out the key and turned to Drew.

"Would you like to...?" He began tentatively.

"Yes!" Drew cut in and nodded enthusiastically.

Then suddenly, he thought, Oh shit. Was Shane even asking me to...? Did I
sound too eager...? What if he was asking me about something else...?

He had to do something... quickly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. What were you saying?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Do you want to come in?" Shane repeated. He stared at Drew; pretending
calm he didn't feel while his heart pounded so hard, he wondered why Drew
couldn't hear it.

"I don't know... it's pretty late..." Drew replied coolly.

"You don't have to..." Shane said and looked away. Shit. He'd misread
him. He thought they were ready for this.

He stuttered, "I just thought...I don't know what I was thinking..."
Inserting his key once more into the lock, he continued, "You should
go... I don't know I was thinking..."

Drew realized he might've just blown it. He said quickly, "I could come in
for a nightcap...?"

Shane paused. Trying to confirm that he was reading the signals right this
time, he said slowly, "Or a cup of coffee...?"

"Maybe some water...?"

He countered, "Or a game of chess...?"

"I don't play chess," said Drew.

Shane smiled, "Neither do I."

He proceeded to open the door, or tried to, because the key wouldn't
turn. He tried a second and third time, but it didn't turn.

"I'm sorry," he said nervously. "This never happened before."

He struggled with the lock again until Drew moved closer and he felt his
hand come over his. It was cool, steady and reassuring. He sighed and let
the hand guide his slowly in turning the key. The door swung open.

Shane sighed, "Thanks."

"No problem," Drew whispered into his ear before stepping away from him.

Shane led the way in.


***********


"Shane?"

He started and looked around the café, suddenly remembering where he was.

Drew frowned, "You never heard a word I said."

"I'm sorry. What were you...?"

"It doesn't matter. You seem distracted. Are you okay?"

Shane nodded.

Drew watched him quietly, but when Shane tried to meet his gaze, he turned
away. It was uncomfortable and Shane wondered for the umpteenth time, why
he'd agreed to this meeting.

Drew's eyes were downcast at the moment and focused on the steaming cup of
coffee in front of him when Shane said suddenly, "Kiss me."

Drew was startled and he stared at Shane in disbelief, "What?"

Shane repeated, "Kiss me."

"Here? Now...?"

"Yes."

They were in a corner booth; hidden from most customers in the café. Drew
looked over his shoulder, trying to double-check that they weren't being
watched.

He moved from his seat to the opposite side, where Shane sat and reached
for him. "Your wish is my command," he murmured softly.

His lips found Shane's easily. After three years, they couldn't have a
normal conversation with each other, but they could certainly kiss with
ease.

Drew closed his eyes, and Shane tried to close his. Abruptly, he noticed
that the walls of the café had been repainted a dark red; the last time he
was here, it'd been some shade of cream... or brown... now why would he
notice such a trivial thing in a moment like this, he wondered.

Mmmm... Drew was deepening the kiss now. His hands were at the sides of
Shane's face, pulling him even closer. The kiss was nice. There was only
one problem, he'd had better.

Nice... pleasant... but it wasn't what he'd expected. Nothing like he
remembered. Not even close...


*************

The nightcap was forgotten, as were coffee and the game of chess. They'd
gotten right down to it; a trail of clothes led to the bedroom where Drew
held Shane in his arms. His fingers stroked Shane's hair and he remarked
suddenly, "I don't think your friend likes me."

Shane took his time in answering, "Who...? Jenny?"

"Yes."

"Oh, I didn't notice," he lied.

"She watched me like a hawk all evening."

"Jenny's a great person. When you get to know her better, you'll see."

"She barely said a word to me."

Shane snuggled closer to Drew under the blankets. He leaned his head
against Drew's chest and sighed, "Don't worry, she'll come around."

"Are you sure? She's your best friend and I don't want to put you on the
spot, but she isn't gonna come between us, is she?"

Shane was silent. He recalled Jenny's objections to Drew, and how she
claimed that she had a bad feeling about him. A woman's intuition, she'd
called it. Considering her past choice of men, Shane seriously doubted this
sixth sense of hers.

"Nothing's going to come between us," Shane reassured him.

"Not even Jenny?"

"Not even Jenny. Promise."

Drew sighed and resumed stroking Shane's hair. "She's single, huh?"

"Yeah."

"I thought so," Drew said.

"Why?"

"Nothing... just a thought."

Shane thought he heard Drew muttering something about Jenny being nothing
but a depressed old maid. He felt the need to defend her so he said
quietly, "Jenny just went through a divorce. Things are kind of tough for
her right now. She's still in the "all-men-are-dogs" phase and she's very
cautious about guys...but she'll come around... she's..."

"Overprotective?" Drew cut in.

"I guess that's a way to put it, but it doesn't matter. She knows how I
feel about you and nothing's going to change that."

The room remained silent and Shane realized that he'd had enough of this
conversation. He moved out of Drew's grip and pushed away sheets covering
them.

"Okay, but I still think she doesn't..." began Drew.

Shane straddled Drew's waist and dipped his head. Taking a nipple into his
mouth, he bit down on it softly then began sucking.

"Mmmmm..." moaned Drew. "Is this an attempt to distract me?"

Shane let off for just a second to ask, "Is it working?"

"Oh, yeah!" Drew responded eagerly.

He made his way upwards; kissing through the light dusting of hair on
Drew's chest. He planted kisses on his shoulders, his neck, his jaw line
and finally his lips.

His hands came up to Drew's face possessively, "You know I'm not going to
let you go,"

Drew smiled, "Is that a threat?"

He leaned forward with his tongue darting out to lick over Drew's chin,
"Yeah, I think so."

Drew writhed under Shane while letting his hands slide down his lover's
back, "You would have a hell of a time trying to get rid of me."

Shane ground himself down, feeling Drew's thick cock growing harder beneath
him, "It's gonna take me a while to tire of this."

"That's all I am to you?" Drew asked with pretend indignation. "A piece of
ass...?"

"Well, you do have one other talent," Shane said thoughtfully.

"My great personality...? My superior intellect...?" Drew suggested.

"No, your lips... or should I say your kiss..."

Drew's hands slid down to cup Shane's butt. He gripped him tight and sat up
at the same time. "My kiss, huh...?"

Shane nodded.

Drew leaned forward and brushed his lips teasingly against Shane's, "It
drives you crazy, huh?"

Shane nodded while straining forward to capture Drew's lips.

Drew shook his head and leaned back, "Patience," he said quietly. He
clutched Shane tighter and thrust upwards to meet his grinding, "Tell me
what it does to you... and maybe... maybe I'll let you have it."

"Your kiss..." Shane growled impatiently. "Your kiss drives me crazy."

His hands came up and pulled Drew to him; pulling his face closer to his
own, and initiating a deep kiss that was unlike the playful teasing Drew
had earlier begun.

"It makes me so fucking hot," he murmured. "It's the only reason I won't
let you go."

In a quick move, Drew held Shane to him then rolled over so that their
positions were reversed and he was on top.

"So how long do you think it's going to last?" he asked as he kissed the
base of Shane's throat.

"Huh?" Shane asked in confusion, it was getting rather difficult to carry
on a conversation with Drew's lips hot and wet against his skin

"Us...? How long...?" Drew asked while sucking and biting his way down.

Did Drew expect him to speak now? To form actual words... now? His hands
were digging into Drew's shoulders and pushing him down. "Ahh... a day or
two..." Shane replied finally.

Drew stopped suddenly, "I'm serious. I want to know what we've got here."

Shane's eyes were closed; lips parted slightly as he panted shallowly and a
light sheen of sweat covered his skin. His hands slid off Drew's shoulders
as he strived to string words together, "We've got... ahh... something."

Drew sat up and stared at Shane in silence.

"We've got something serious," Shane offered again.

Drew looked away.

"I think..." Shane began slowly. "I think I'm in love with you."

Drew's full attention was brought back to Shane. "I know," he replied,
"that I'm in love with you."

Shane closed his eyes, and then reopened them after a few seconds, "Drew?"

There was a certain tone in the way his name was called that made Drew move
closer to Shane again, "Yeah."

"Move in."

"With you?"

Shane remained silent.

Drew's lips curved into a smile, "Well you know...I can't afford the rent
in a place like this..."

Shane closed his eyes again, in a bid to hide any hesitation that could be
visible to Drew if he looked too hard. When he opened them once more, they
were neutral and their focus was drawn back to Drew's mouth. The desire to
kiss the soft, full, wet lips was almost overwhelming, "You could pay me in
kind..."

Drew leaned in close, his mouth hovering just above Shane's lips, "And what
exactly would that be?"

"This," said Shane as he gave in to his desires, closed the short distance
between them, and covered Drew's lips with his.



************

Drew's eyes shot open to find Shane's gaze focused on him. He'd suddenly
realized that he might as well have been kissing a mannequin, because Shane
was not participating in the kiss.  He pulled back and murmured, "You're
not into this?"  Shane bit down on his lower lip and shook his head.  Drew
sighed and rested his head against the wood paneled booth. "What's wrong,
Shane?"  "It's different," he responded.  "What's different?"  "Us," Shane
said after a short silence.  "And by us, I suppose you're referring to our
relationship?"  "Or what's left of it," added Shane.  Drew moved once more;
he went back to his seat at the opposite end of the table, widening the gap
between them.  He reached for his cup of coffee and gripped it tight, as
though receiving warmth from it.  Inhaling deeply, he said with a soft
voice, "It seems you've got a lot on your mind."  "I... I don't know where
to start."  "Let's start with the kiss. Why?"  "I don't know... no I do
know... but it's complicated..."  "Try me."  "I've heard a saying... that
at the end... you start remembering the beginning."  Drew took in a sharp
intake of breath, "At the end?" he repeated.  Shane nodded and stared down
at his hands splayed on the table. He couldn't bear to look at Drew right
now.  Drew's voice sounded small and forced, "This morning we agreed that
we'd try to work things out..."  "I know but I've been doing a lot of
thinking..."  "So within a couple of hours you analyzed our relationship
and decided it's over?"  "That's unfair, Drew. This decision is the hardest
one I've ever had to make," Shane said angrily, he lowered his voice and
continued, "and don't you dare insinuate that I decided to end
this... us... at the spur of the moment."  "So you'd already planned this
then? Tell me why we're here? Tell me why you made me kiss you? It couldn't
possibly make me feel any worse than I already do."  Shane leaned back on
his chair and looked away, "I can't talk to you when you're like this."
Drew put his hands to his temples and rubbed at them slowly, "I don't know
what you want from me, Shane. I thought we were here to rebuild what we
had, but then you say it's over... what do you expect from me?"

"I don't know... I'm sorry."

"No, lets not do the apology thing anymore. We both know of what little
value they are..."

"Drew, I..."

"No, Shane. You listen to me. You said I wasn't being fair to you
earlier. Well, let's talk about fairness... you think this is fair to
me... you string me along like a fool...

Shane cut in, "I didn't..."

Drew carried on like he hadn't heard a word, "And then you tell me it's
over, in a goddamn coffee shop of all places. Three fucking years, and you
want to end it this way?"

Drew's words cut through Shane deeply, but he struggled to put himself
together and began speaking haltingly, "I didn't mean for it to end this
way... I didn't plan this... It just happened. When we talked this morning,
I thought we could continue... but we can't do this any more. Every time
we're together, something goes wrong. It's nothing like what we had
before."

He looked up into Drew's hurt eyes and continued, "We've been dating three
years now, but that's stretching it, because we've been together far less
than that."

"We just needed space from each other, that's all."

"We might've needed some space before, but now there's this huge crater
between us, and I don't think it's going to get any smaller."

"That's a bit of an overstatement, don't you think?"

"When we talk, we're like strangers; we talk about coffee, the weather, our
jobs... we don't have anything in common anymore. When we kiss... it
isn't... I don't feel... it's nothing like that night, three years ago..."

"So that's what that was about..."

Shane nodded. "Sometimes I forget that we're still together. I used to want
to spend every second of every single day with you, but now it seems that
you can't wait to get the hell away from me each time we're together."

Shane sighed softly and resumed, "And you want to know something, I found
that I just didn't care anymore."

Drew stiffened for a moment.

"Each time you left, I missed you less and now I don't care anymore. About
our relationship, whether or not you're with me... what we used to have
... it seems like another lifetime... and I just can't think of a reason
why we're still together."

There was certainly no indication that Drew had heard a word Shane said in
the last few minutes. His fingers had begun drumming a steady rhythm on the
table, and they neither faltered nor quickened when Shane's speech came to
an end. His gaze lingered on an old couple seated a few tables away before
coming to rest on Shane.

His fingers finally stopped drumming and he said quietly, "I know leaving
you wasn't always the right thing to do..."

Shane cut in quickly, "And I know what role I had to play the last
time... I might've done the same thing if you'd done... what I did."

"What you did...," Drew reiterated, "was tell me that you were in love with
someone else."

"It was..."

"A mistake... I know... but what I still haven't figured out," Drew said
thoughtfully, "is where you went wrong. Did you mean for me not to hear it,
or did you just call out the wrong name?"

"We've gone over this before..."

"I know, and I'd like to go over it again. Oh... you don't want to? Why? It
makes you uncomfortable? Makes you feel guilty?"

"Perhaps if you'd been around more often, I would've had an easier time
remembering your name," Shane shot back.

Drew smiled grimly, "Touché."

For a few moments, there was nothing but the humming sounds of other
patrons in the café talking, sipping coffee and eating.

"We've been in a half assed relationship for as long as I remember," Drew
said suddenly. "You never wanting me enough... and me... well, I never
wanted to admit that you didn't want me half as much as I wanted you."

He raised a hand to silence Shane. "Don't... don't say a word. I want to
get this off my chest now."

Leaning forward, he grabbed a sugar packet and began shaking it vigorously.

"It seemed that for every step I took to get closer, you took ten steps
backwards... and when I tried to retreat, you'd come running back to me. I
was okay with that, for the most part... just as long as I felt needed by
you once in a while; I thought everything would be okay."

The sugar packet tore open. They both watched its crystalline contents
spill haphazardly across the table. Drew dropped the empty sachet and
proceeded to trace patterns in the granulated sugar.

Shane began speaking slowly, "I didn't know you felt that way. You
should've said something..."

"And what would you have done differently?" Drew smirked.

"I would've shown you what you meant... mean... to me. I would've shown you
how much I cared for you."

Drew looked at Shane long and hard before responding, "That wouldn't have
been enough... because what you felt was never enough."

Shane felt anger flare for a moment and he waited a few moments to keep it
under control, "You've got no right to question what I felt for you
then... not when you turned your back on me every chance you got..."

 "Because," Drew interrupted, "I never did feel that we were worth fighting
for... You wouldn't admit it then and you won't admit it then, but I was
never the most important person in your life..."

"What?"

Drew smiled to himself, "I was in second place when in the beginning and I
suppose it only makes sense that I would be in second place at the end..."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Shane demanded.

"Jenny never liked me."

"What does she have to do with this?"

"Everything... Tell me she didn't put you up to with this... From the look
on your face, I guess she did... Doesn't surprise me... She always treated
me like I wasn't good enough for you...and you never took my side..."

"Drew... I never took her side either... and it never was about sides,
anyway... you wanted me to choose between you and my best friend..."

"Would that have been so bad?"

Shane remained silent. The aroma of fresh brewed coffee and pastries didn't
seem so pleasant to him anymore... in fact, he felt nauseous right now.

"On one hand Shane; you've got your best friend..." Drew continued, "And on
the other hand; you've got your lover...your partner... your significant
other... your boyfriend... now that shouldn't have been so hard, should
it?"

Shane pushed his lukewarm coffee to the left side of the table... he
wondered if he was turning green right now.

Drew went on bitterly, "Being the one you came home to and fucked every
night should've given me an edge over her, don't you think?"

When Shane said nothing, Drew wondered if he'd gone too far. He felt
something close to regret and sighed, "I'm sorry... that was a cheap shot."

Shane nodded.

The silence was becoming unbearable, so Drew began drumming his fingers on
the table again.

"Can I get you guys anything else?" asked an incredibly high pitched perky
voice.

They both turned to find a smiling waitress; blonde and barely out of her
teens with a pen poised in one hand, ready to scribble down in the notepad
held in the other hand.

"No, thanks," Drew replied.

She turned to Shane, "May I get you something?"

Shane found that he couldn't speak... or didn't want to. He was sick of
talking at this point. He wanted to leave. Now.

The silence dragged on so Drew came to his rescue, "Uhh... he's
good. Thanks."

"Alrightey," She gushed. "I'll just take these..."

She reached for the cups and turned to Shane one last time, "May I just say
one thing...like I really love your show, Shane Roderick. I'm like one of
your biggest fans... and I would ask for your autograph like right
now... but we're not supposed to... uhhh... what's the word
now... fraternize with clients..."

Shane found his voice finally, "Uh... thanks... Maggie."

A look of wonder came over her face, "Oh my god... like how do you know my
name? Are you like psychic or something...?"

Shane's eyes dropped to her name tag once more.

She followed his gaze and giggled, "Oh, okay... I was like totally..."

It occurred to Drew that she might be there all day, so he cut in quickly,
"I'd like another latte, please."

She blinked and turned her attention to Drew, once more. "Alrightey, I'll
be right back," she said with obvious disappointment before sashaying away.

They shared a smile once she was gone. The sudden appearance of Maggie
seemed to have cleared the air between them.

Shane glanced at his watch and sighed, "I'm sorry it had to end this
way. You know I never meant to hurt to you."

"I know you never mean to hurt anyone, Shane." Drew leaned over and took
Shane's hand in his.

A few moments passed in silence and then he asked quietly, "Jasmine?"

"She's yours. She was my gift to you."

Drew nodded.

"You know you were only the best thing that ever happened to me..." He
stopped and looked into Shane's eyes. "I just thought you should know."

"Don't do this, Drew," Shane said. He tried to withdraw his hand from
Drew's grip, but he couldn't.

"No. Let's do this. It's over, isn't it? Letting our feelings out isn't
going to cause any harm, is it? Or don't you have any feelings left for
me?"

Shane tried to withdraw his hand once more but Drew tightened his grip,
"That's not the point."

"Then what is the point?"

"I don't want to do this anymore, Drew. We're no good for each other
anymore...That's why I had to end it..."

Drew let go finally. He'd seen the beginnings of tears in Shane's
eyes... it was the one thing he could never bear to see; Shane crying.

He stood up abruptly. "I'll be there tomorrow, while you're at work, to
pick up Jasmine and the rest of my stuff."

He withdrew his wallet and dropped a few bills on the table.

"I hope he makes you happy."

Shane didn't think his heart could beat any faster than it'd been doing,
but it suddenly did. "What?" he asked in shock.

"Leo... or whatever his name was... I hope he makes you happy."

Shane's mouth was too dry to put words together.

Drew smiled, "Oh, I know you too well, Shane. You'd never leave me unless
you were running into someone else's arms."

He made to walk away then paused.

"Don't get me wrong," he added. "I'm not okay with it... I never was... but
you see; I'd been in second place so long that it never did matter when he
came along."

With that, Drew walked away for the last time.


***************


It was 10.30 a.m. and already, her day wasn't going well. She'd snapped at
Mark and Susan, and she couldn't even remember why. Shane was avoiding her
and she didn't know why. He'd left before she had a chance to talk to him
yesterday, he hadn't returned her calls and he'd walked past her today
without saying a word... even though she was talking to him. She needed a
donut. With chocolate and sprinkles. Or anything else that could make her
happy.

She pushed her door open and suddenly caught sight of Shane at the far end
of the corridor.

"Hey," She called out, "Wait up."

He glanced back at her, but began walking. Was it just her, or did it seem
like the closer she got, the faster he walked? She moved faster and
eventually caught up to him.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah. Sure," He replied shortly without even looking at her.

"What are you up to?" She tried her luck again.

Silence then, "Nothing."

Jenny realized she was practically jogging just to keep up with Shane's
quick pace. "You're in a hurry. What's going on?"

"I'm going to take off early today, that's all."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Uh huh."

"Do want to talk about it?"

"If I did, I would've come to you."

She grasped his arm, bringing him to a halt and said sharply, "What the
hell is going on Shane?"

He peeled her fingers off his arm, "This really isn't a good time."

"Does this have anything to do with Drew? Did you talk to him yesterday?
How did it go?"

"Like I said, this really isn't a good time."

"Did I do something?"

For the first time, his eyes flickered down to hers and she caught sight of
something she couldn't explain.

"Are you mad at me? What's going on?" She asked.

He sighed and looked away, "I think... maybe... we need some space..."

"Huh?" That was certainly the last thing she'd expected to hear him say.

"Me and you... we need some space... from each other..."

"Space...? What are you talking about? It's not like we're dating... we're
friends..."

"I know... our relationship is..."

"What?"

"It's smothering okay. We need a break from each other."

Jen was puzzled, "You don't smother me, Shane."

He sighed, "I know."

"Oh." It dawned on her suddenly, "You think... that... I... I smother you?"

He didn't say a word and resumed walking again.

She stared at him walking away, and then ran up to him one more time.

"Hey... Where do you think you're going? You can't drop a bombshell like
that and just walk away."

He stopped and looked at her expectantly, "So...?"

"We need to talk about this."

"So talk."

"Well for one thing, I don't smother you... and... and... I... oh
shit... where the hell is this coming from anyway? We were fine
yesterday. Did you just wake up and decide that I'd put a pillow to your
face last night or something? I mean give me a break... I just try to be a
good friend and this is the thanks I get?"

"Are you done now?"

"Uhh... I guess so."

"Then I'll see you later."

He made to walk away, but she grabbed his arm, "Does this have anything to
do with Drew?"

"No."

She smirked, "Liar. What did he say? He put you up to this, didn't he?"

Shane recalled that he'd heard similar words from Drew yesterday. "Drew
didn't put me up to anything."

"Liar," She repeated. "I know you too well."

"Yeah. Everyone seems to know me better than I know myself."

"No, I didn't mean it that way..."

"Jen. I don't care. I'm not in the mood for this. I don't want to talk. In
fact, I'm sick of talking. If I hear another word about love or
relationships or feelings... I'll kill myself."

"Oh, okay. I certainly don't want that to happen."

"Shane?"

They both spun around to find Nadine, a studio assistant, looking at them
hesitantly, "I hate to interrupt but you just got something delivered to
your office."

Shane was glad that he finally had an opportunity to leave Jenny. "Thanks,"
he said and walked away.

"He isn't going to kill himself... is he?" Nadine whispered to Jenny.

"I sure hope not," Jenny replied. "We'll be out of jobs if he does."

Shane glanced back and called out, "I heard that."

Jenny flashed him an innocent smile and lowered her voice to Nadine,
"What's the delivery?"

"Roses... lots and lots of them... I stopped counting after 28 vases... I
don't think there's a single orange rose left in New York."

"Orange Roses...? Lots and lots of orange roses...?"

"Uh huh... he's still dating that Drew guy, right?"

Jenny bit down on her lip thoughtfully, "You know... I really don't
know..."

"I tried to peek but all the envelopes were sealed shut."

"What envelopes?"

"It's so weird... there's an envelope in each vase..."

"That is certainly weird." Jenny replied then began walking away.

She glanced at Nadine, "What're you waiting for?"

"Huh? Where're you going?"

"Where else...? To Shane's office. This...we gotta see."


To be continued...


Break ups? One of the hardest things in the world to do... and one of the
hardest to write! Thanks to all you guys (and ladies) who wrote to me.

Any more thoughts and comments? Send em to jayse@mindless.com