Date: Wed, 21 Mar 2012 09:53:51 +0100 From: Benjamin J. Conner Subject: The Freak Poem: To Be Alive This peom is a response of my editor Tod, who helped me with it and has a huge heart. I thought it would be great to publish it next to the story, because it touched my heart. (Short) stories by Benjamin J. Conner: "A Question of love" Adult-Youth section "Red Cherries" Young-friends section "The Freak" Adult-Youth section Feedback is very welcome to: bennyjck@hotmail.com I appreciate any kind of feedback to the poem - and will forward it to the author. ---------------------------------------------------------- To Be Alive A poem inspired by the story titled "The Freak" written by Benjamin J. Conner. What does it mean to be alive? I look out the window of my small dark world and see a bright sun in a blue sky. Soft white clouds drifting by on sweet scented winds. I hear children laughing and playing amidst the gentle encouragement of their mums and papas. Is this what it means to be alive? What does it mean to be alive? For me it means a dark room with a locked door and a window with bars. It means hunger, thirst and the smell of my own unwashed body. It means harsh words and the pain of deserved punishment delivered amidst coarse, drunken laughter. What does it mean to be alive? Oh how I long for that life in the bright place, but I only deserve this life in the dark place, because I am a freak and a burden. I know this is true because my mum and papa tell me so and I believe them. I would cry for this truth, but I don't remember how. What does it mean to be alive? I heard once that there is a papa way up in the sky and his name is God. I heard that he has made a home for me where I can be in the bright place all the time. I was told that he loves me and that it doesn't matter if I am a freak and a burden. If this is true then why does he make me stay here in this dark place? What does it mean to be alive? I don't know. I single tear runs down my cheek. I am so tired. I curl up on my tattered mattress and with my thumb in my mouth, I gently rock myself to sleep. Please God, can I come home now? I don't want to be alive any more. Tod Greyson- March 18th, 2012.