Date: Mon, 21 Feb 2011 22:11:47 -0500 From: Artistic Revelations Subject: An Expression of Love [Disclaimer: All rights reserved. All parts of this document is (c) Copyright 2011 Zachary Taylor Burns, and may not be reproduced in any form without the author's express written consent, except by Nifty personnel for the website. All emails are welcome, and will be replied to as quickly as possible: artistic.revelations@hotmail.com] An Expression of Love by Zachary Taylor Burns There is nothing more simple than the telling of one's own story. There is also nothing more difficult. That sounds like something that Mark Twain would have said. Who knows, maybe he did? The point of this narrative is one simple, four-letter word: Love, or at least the idea of it. I sit here at my desk and I wonder about the past, and if I had done things differently. Where would I be? Would my life be the same, would I still be depressed and aching for a life I might never have? What-ifs. The words that have passed through the lips of everyone on this planet at one time or another. We cannot change the past. The past is what it is. Why do we constantly wonder about something we have no control over or power to change? Truth be told, I would do a lot of things differently, if I could. Unfortunately, such is the power that is the present. An existential right of passage, to become the person I was meant to be, the one whose fate was determined prior to my conception in my mother's womb. Love. Such a powerful motivator to attempt seeking out someone new to potentially date. The characters on this site known as Nifty are typically gorgeous, well-hung personas of unattainable status that it makes me worry for the younger generations who have to live up to such desirable standards. There is more to this life than how hot someone is, or how much money is in their bank account. I don't have an endless supply of wealth, I'm not a QC model, I don't have a ten-inch dick. I'm simply me. I'm human, and live an average life and have striven at all times to be as happy as possible. Life exists for us to learn from, to have as many experiences as possible, and to learn from everything we do. If you go through this life and just "exist" without truly living, then I don't see the point of all this wasted life. Our lives were given meaning, so shouldn't we strive to achieve the ultimate in happiness? All relationships are built on falsehoods. We meet and court someone, and eventually come to believe that he or she is the ultimate, and perfect, person on the planet, that no one else can outshine them, that we love them with 100% of our heart, more than we have ever loved anyone else prior. They can do no wrong, and anything shown to the contrary can be explained away by excuses we create so as not to destroy the ideological existence we've bestowed upon them. Do not allow your rational mind to fall for those misrepresentations of god-like perfection. No one can ever fully know another person, no matter how much you are told to the contrary. We create a fictional backstory that encompasses their lives, whether you realize it or not. It is this fiction that we typically allow ourselves to fall for- these falsehoods that provide the backdrop for potential make-or-break relationship status. Ok, enough of that nonsense. I think I'm only negative about stuff like that because part of me is still in pain over what happened. All I knew about him was what his nametag said: Benjamin. I had no idea how old he was, although if I was to guess I wouldn't have said any older than nineteen or twenty. He didn't look terribly young, either, so perhaps somewhere in between? I was standing in line at the Subway counter, and briefly wondered if there was an age limit to how young an employee could be to work there. Then I realized he was talking to me. I hadn't noticed the gentleman in front of me had moved. "Uh," I was dumbfounded, unable to think clearly as I stared into his chestnut eyes, the same color as the hair that peaked haphazardly from under his company-issued cap. He smiled at me, cleared his throat and suggested I try the Italian Herb and Cheese bread. I nodded my agreement, muttering that I only wanted a six-inch, not footlong. Then, I leaned toward the counter and in a voice only he could hear, said, "Although I'd prefer something much bigger in other things." I shocked myself at the bravado I'd shown, especially if he was under-age. His face burned scarlet and he actually laughed! I fell for him in that instant, and knew I would be spending some unnecessary money for food at this location. I didn't even care that it was slightly out of the way of my normal drive home from work. "What would you like on your ham and provolone?" the smooth-faced boy asked. Now it was my turn to laugh. "Is that what I'm having?" He beamed, his eyes twinkling mischievously, and he shrugged noncommittally. "I figured since you couldn't decide what kind of bread..." I matched his smile and nodded. "Very well, ham and provolone it is. What else would I like on my sub?" He tilted his down for a brief moment, staring at the vegetables as he stepped down the counter. "Lettuce," he said as he put some on my sandwich. "Mayo," he added without even looking at me, "and some salt and pepper." "No oregano?" I wondered idly, amazed at how relaxed we both were at this odd exchange of humorous events. He just shook his head, smiling and showing his beautiful white teeth at me as he wrapped my sub and bagged it, then handed it to me. "How much for the sub I didn't order?" I asked, reaching for my wallet. "It's free," he said in a soft voice, looking quickly around to make sure no one else was listening. "You're funny, I like that." "As are you," I assented, not wanting the moment to end so abruptly. "Would you like to have some coffee with me after work?" His smile never faded, but I could see it in his eyes that it was a 'no'. Then, his smile faltering, he confirmed my expected decline. "I have a boyfriend, I'm sorry." I didn't allow our fun banter to dissuade my disappointment, and thanked him again for the gift. At that moment, an older woman came out from the back and asked him to go pull some extra food from the cooler. "Have a nice day," he said with another bright smile, then turned on his heel and went off to do his job. I was walking on air during my short trek outside to my car. As soon as I pulled the door closed, I burst out into a fit of the giggles. "Wow," was all I said, then took a few deep breaths, started the car and headed home. *** I made myself wait three days before returning to have another interaction with Benjamin. Hopeful, but not expecting him to actually be there, I pulled into the parking lot after work, adjusted my tie, smoothed my hair, got out, locked the car and headed inside. He smiled when he saw me, and I knew this was going to be more than a mere customer-employee interaction. "Good evening," he said. I was the only customer in the building, which suited me just fine. "Hi," I said and returned his smile. "What am I going to have this time?" He laughed and blushed. "Sorry about that, I shouldn't have been so bold." I couldn't believe how enamored I was with this kid! He had me completely- hook, line and sinker, wrapped around his pinky finger, eager to do anything he asked. "It was delicious, I'm glad I made such a wise selection." "How about I make you what I usually eat?" he suggested, and I nodded my assent. Smiling, as if he ever stopped, he pulled out a six-inch Italian Herb and Cheese, placed several slices of ham, turkey and provolone, followed by lettuce, tomato, onion, black olives, mayo, green peppers, and a dash of sweet onion sauce, then abruptly wrapped it up, slipped it into a bag and handed it to me. "I can't accept this one without paying for it," I said, determined this time to actually pay for the sub. "Nonsense," he declined. "I'm having fun, and I know you are too." "But you're gonna get in trouble for giving away free food," I protested, my wallet now in my hand. He just shook his head, smiling even more. "Don't worry about it, it will be fine." "Let me at least make it up to you," I suggested. "I'm not trying to pressure you, but let me buy you something to drink." "Tell you what," he said with a defiant glare of his chocolate eyes, "I work again on Thursday after school until closing. Bring me a chocolate and banana smoothie from the gas station down the street and we'll call it even." "It's a deal, see you then," I said and waved as I headed out the door, stunned at how easy this was, at the suddenness of the situation and how happy I felt at the interaction I was having with this teenager. I still didn't know anything about him but he'd just said he worked after school, and since I was certain he didn't look old enough for college, that left him definitely being in his teens. I just hoped he wasn't young enough that would get my ass thrown in jail. *** I returned immediately following work on Thursday, his smoothie in hand as requested. Once again, his face lit up like a Christmas tree the moment he saw me enter, and I beamed right back as I set his drink on the counter top, straw beside the cup. "Here you are Sunshine." "Awesome," he said with excitement as he quickly unwrapped the straw, slid it into the smoothie and sipped it. "Thank you!" "You're welcome," I said, leaning on the counter. "By the way, your mess of a sub last time didn't sit too well with my stomach, but I managed to eat every bite." His smile faded, and he sat his drink on the counter. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to---" I held up my hand, still smiling. "Relax, I just wanted you to know that even though it isn't something I am ever to likely try again, thank you for doing it for me." "Oh," was his reply, and he picked up his drink and took another sip. "These are amazing, would you like to try?" I laughed at his presumptuous tone that spoke miles of his trust in others. "No, but thank you for the offer." "It's amazing, you should try it," he said with a shrug as he turned and reached for a loaf of the usual bread, to which I immediately declined. He turned and stared at me quizzically, and I smiled at him again. "Not hungry?" he asked. "No," I said, although in all honesty I was starving. I just didn't want him to get into trouble for giving away free food. "I had a Big Mac and fries, then stopped for your smoothie." "Oh," he said, and looked crestfallen. My heart broke for him then, he looked so terribly disappointed, and I almost admitted the truth to him but decided against it. "You know," he said, "I've been thinking about what you said the other day." "What was that?" I asked as I leaned against the counter and watched him put the straw to his pouty lips and have another sip of his smoothie. "Whether I'd like to have dinner with you sometime," he muttered sotto voce, face blushing again. He was so beautiful when he blushed. Not to say he wasn't beautiful in general- but the blood rushing to his cheeks added to his character. I had never mentioned anything of the sort, merely a coffee the first time we had met, and was surprised at his fearlessness, despite his having a boyfriend. The rational part of my brain screamed 'No! He has a boyfriend!' while my heart sang something else entirely. The enamored part of me smiled, nodded, and said to him, "I'm glad you remembered," playing along with this intriguing game of humor and wit. "When is a good time for you?" he asked. "I work tomorrow until closing, and from eight until noon Saturday, then I'm free until Sunday at five." "That's pretty specific," I laughed. What was it about the kid that had me so bewitched that I just wanted to sweep him into my arms and whisk him off into the sunset? "Well, you obviously like me or you wouldn't have shown up here three times in the last week," he said with a surety of the events that surprised me. This teenager was certainly quite observant of the world around him. "Is there any place in particular I asked you to go?" I wondered, smiling again. My happiness was like something I had never experienced before. "That new French place on Third and Market," he replied, eyes twinkling, almost as if daring me to turn him down. Which I would not, and could not do at this point even I had wanted to, which I didn't. "Very well, what time?" "I don't know," he replied with a mischievous smile, "I'm not the one who made the reservation." "Right," I smiled back. "Well I suppose I will have to call them again because I've forgotten." He pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket and slid it across the counter. "Text me when you remember." "I'll do that," I said as I scooped up the paper and left without saying another word. After I stepped outside, I turned and discreetly watched through the window for a few moments as he half-turned, smiling as his hand brushed the front of his black jeans, obviously adjusting himself. I smiled, adjusted my own aching member and headed off to the car. I quickly drove home, called 411 for the number of the restaurant and promptly made a reservation for Saturday evening at eight. Pulling the folded paper from my pocket, I saved Benjamin's number in my phone under the nickname "Sunshine". His happiness was all because of me, and I loved every moment of it. I sent him off a text: 'Hey Sunshine, reservations for two at 8 on Sat.' He replied: 'Gr8 cnt wait 2 tlk 2 u. wats ur name?' I had to laugh at the way he texted. Me: 'Zack. What about your boyfriend?' Him: 'dnt tlk abt him, none of his business, we fite all the time neways, guna brake up wit him soon' Me: 'Fair enough. How old are you?' Him: 'jus turnd 17 that ok wit u' I shook my head and smiled. Too late to turn back now, I was already taken in so I sent back a quick reply, 'Yes, it's fine.' Him: 'Gud how old r u' I told him. Him: 'Kewl, ur hot nd smart nd funny 2 b around cnt wait til dinnr' Me: 'Same here. Maybe we could go see a movie too?' Him: 'No we aint goin on a date its jus fun' I was surprised at his candor. Me: 'That's fair enough. I guess I shouldn't offer to pick you up then?' Him: 'no ill walk i dnt live that far' Me: 'Ok see you then' Him: 'K' Had I really upset him when I asked about the movie? I hoped not, because I was genuinely starting to enjoy his company. What if this dinner was something he realized he didn't want? Would he stand me up? Would he text me last minute and say he couldn't come? *sigh* My masturbation fantasies that night consisted of a new star: Benjamin whats-his-name, age 17. At this point, I was too completely taken by him that it didn't matter. I had never imagined myself with someone younger than eighteen, so this was completely new territory for me. Regardless, in my imagination I had quietly walked into his bedroom, where he was laying with eyes closed. He didn't hear me, and I watched in stunned silence as he slid his right hand down the inside of his tight jeans, the black ones he wore for work which perfectly accented his endowment. He moaned, other hand reaching up under his shirt to tweak his nipples, switching back and forth between one and then the other. His right hand now pulled out of his jeans, he used both hands to quickly unbutton and remove them, his throbbing dick slapping up against his stomach, coming all the way to his navel. His pubes were thick, balls shaved smooth, and I walk over, kneel between his legs, bend over so my nose is almost touching, and inhale the sweetest aroma I've ever had the pleasure of enjoying. "You smell amazing," I say, then lick his balls, tasting his sweat. "It's about time you join me," he moans and unbuttons his shirt, fingers expertly tweaking his nipples while I suckle his balls for him, his dick bouncing up and down as it thrust into empty space. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer and wrapped a hand around his thick uncut shaft, fingers playing and teasing his glans as I slowly stroke him, the extra skin sliding up and over and down his head, leaving it glistening with the precum that had begun oozing from his piss hole. I sit up and take his wet knob into my mouth, sucking on it and tasting the sweetness that was his precum. Moaning with his dick in my mouth, I went all the way down his thick shaft, my nose buried in his thick pubic hair, my gag reflex nonexistent as I took him all the way down my throat. "Fuck yes!" he moans, his hips thrusting upward, his fingernails on my upper back leaving trails of red as he dug into my skin, the pain sending me farther and farther into ecstasy, my own hands playing with my own seven-inch dick and balls while I sucked him to near-completion. Before I realized it, it was all over. My dick shot its load, and I was suddenly back on my own bed, penis standing in the air, my own semen covering most of my stomach and chest, such a copious amount such as I'd never ejaculated before. Typically, my load was barely enough to fill a teaspoon, but this time looked like a bucketful. I was surprised at the images my mind had conjured of what I wanted Benjamin's genitals to look like. I typically find it more arousing when a guy has his pubic bush trimmed back, smooth balls, moderate to little body hair, and an uncircumcised dick. The fact that my mind had imagined Benjamin with a full, thick nest of hair was somewhat disconcerting to me, but regardless the fantasy had my blood boiling with desire that my release did little to assuage. I was fairly certain that his dick was circumcised since we lived the United States, a country where it is normal practice to chop away that poor, defenseless foreskin. Personally, I have more of a fascination with a dick that was completely intact, and hoped that he was the exception, although I was certain his manhood would be beautiful regardless. I longed to find out in real life, and hoped against hope that I might find out after our dinner date. I crawled out of bed, cleaned myself off and turned on my laptop to play some solitaire until I was tired enough to go to sleep. *** Saturday morning, I was a mess of nervousness. What would I wear? Should I get a haircut? How would I style my hair afterwards? Should I buy a nice, new outfit? Then, against my better judgment, I decided to simply be myself. He already knew how I looked, he'd seen me in a shirt and tie from my place of employment, knew the way I wore my hair, so I guessed there was no need for me to spruce myself up for him. I also didn't want to appear too classy, even though we were going to an expensive restaurant for dinner. I chose my nicest pair of jeans, the ones that hugged my ass perfectly when I walked, a burgundy button-down shirt, no tie, and my favorite pair of black loafers. Not too posh-looking, but not plain-old daily wear either. I didn't want to overdo it for Benjamin either, because I was certain he didn't have an expensive outfit to wear to go with the atmosphere of the restaurant. I sprayed a bit of my favorite cologne, and was out the door by seven-thirty. The drive to the restaurant didn't usually take longer than ten minutes, but I wanted to be early in case he actually decided to show up. He was standing outside the front door, smoking a cigarette. Normally, that turns me off completely, but there was just something so sexy about the way he was standing there holding the cigarette that made me want to jump him, tear his clothes off and have my way with him. He was wearing a tight black shirt that hugged him and allowed me to see all his contours- from his perky nipples, pierced I was surprised to note, and his soft middle. Good, I thought, none of this business about being a skinny twig. Neither was he anything close to pudgy, just soft, maybe an extra ten pounds or so. "Hi!" he said brightly when he saw me. "Hi Sunshine," I said in reply and held the door open for him, sneaking a glance at his rounded backside as he swayed in front of me. Gorgeous round ass, perfectly accented by his jeans. I told the hostess my name, and she led us directly to our table, a small four-seater near the corner. I positioned myself against the wall so I had a complete view of the restaurant, as well as my date. Wait, no, scratch that. This isn't a date, as he had so bluntly insisted. "Welcome, my name is Sebastian, would you like to see our wine list?" the male server inquired as we settled into our seats. He was dark blonde, hair cut short and spiked, with bright green eyes. "No thank you," I replied with a genial smile, keeping the thought to myself of how extremely good-looking the young server was. "I will please have a water with lemon." Then we both looked at Benjamin. "Oh!" my non-date said with a bright smile, face blushing. Oh, but he was cute! "Um, water for me too please. With lemon," he added as an afterthought. "I'll be right back with those," Sebastian said and strolled off. "Everything is so expensive," Benjamin said as he opened the menu. I watched with amusement as his eyes were in constant motion, flicking back and forth between pages. He was like a kid in a candy store, and I wondered if his parents ever treated him to something this nice. I was so enthralled that I didn't even notice when Sebastian returned with our drinks and a basket of rolls and butter. "Are you ready to order?" Benjamin nodded and grinned, setting his menu down. I hadn't even glanced at the menu, I was so intently focused on my non-date's actions. "I'll have the chicken alfredo, please." "What kind of dressing would you like for your salad?" Sebastian asked as he made a note on his pad. "Ranch please," came the demure reply. Sebastian nodded, scribbled on his pad and turned to me. "For you, sir?" I didn't know what I was really in the mood for, so I said the first thing that came to mind, in the hopes it was on the menu: "I'll have the chicken cordon bleu, please, and a side of your house dressing for my salad." "Very well, I'll return shortly with your meals," Sebastian said with a broad smile and headed off to the kitchen. "You didn't even look at your menu!" Benjamin pointed with. "How did you know what they had?" "Lucky guess," I answered with a wink and smile. "And you can never go wrong with ordering the house dressing." "Impressive," he replied. I smiled again and took a sip of my water, thoughtfully chewing on an ice cube. "So tell me a little about yourself." "What would you like to know?" he wondered, busying his hand with a roll and butter. I suddenly noticed how nervous he was at being here. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all, so I decided to help put him at ease. "Just relax Sunshine, you said yourself this isn't a date," I said with another wink and smile. That eased him up a bit, and he stopped fidgeting. "Do you have any plans after you graduate?" "I enjoy helping people," he replied, then took a small bite of his roll, followed by a sip of water. "I'm thinking about maybe teen counseling, so I can help get them out of unwanted situations." "That sounds quite admirable," I said with a nod. That simple answer, that he wanted to help better the world, told me plenty about his character. "Why do you call me Sunshine?" he asked, taking another sip of water. I laughed. "There was a television show several years ago, and one of the main characters was nicknamed Sunshine, because when he smiled, the room lit up. Your smile does that as well." "It does?" I nodded, and he smiled again, unintentionally proving my point. The world did, indeed, seem less darker when he flashed his beautiful teeth. "Is that okay?" He blushed again and nodded. At that instant there was a scream from the kitchen, followed by a small explosion, followed immediately by everyone in panic-mode as mass-fleeing occurred by those who didn't want to get caught in the crossfire of exploding shrapnel, or worse, fire. We both laughed at the suddenness of it all and headed out the door as well, where we stood on the sidewalk, gazing into each other's eyes. I was completely unaware of the hustle and bustle going on around us as other parties scrambled to get to their cars and get as far away as possible. I wasn't terribly concerned because there had been no smoke issuing from the kitchen. "What do we do now?" Benjamin asked, and slipped his hand into mine. I was surprised at yet another bold move by my non-date. "We could always go for a walk," I suggested. He shook his head and removed his hand from mine. "Someone might see." By 'someone' I assumed he meant his boyfriend, but I didn't press the issue. "We could always go somewhere else and eat." "It's all right," he said and shook his head. "Thank you though, for making me feel wanted." He turned and started to walk away. I couldn't just allow him to head off like that! "Wait," I said as I walked up behind him. "How about I take you for a coffee or something." "No," he said with a shake of his head, frowning. "Look, we both know where this is going to go. You will buy me dinner, we'll go to a movie or something, almost as if we're dating, we'll talk, text or whatever, and I'll to like you more and more, and you'll like me more, and then we'll get to a point where I will feel more awful than I already do about being with Joey. You'll want to have sex. I already want you to pound my ass, and all the time we'll both be worried about Joey, will he find out? Let's just stop it right now. It was fun, you made me feel amazing, but I can't cheat on Joey like that." I was completely taken aback by a wisdom beyond his years. "Wow," was all I could say. "Well, then, it was nice meeting you and I wish you the best." He didn't say anything, just stared into my eyes for a long moment, then turned and walked off. "Wow," I said again, then turned and got into my car and drove home, depressed because I had allowed myself the hope that for just a few days, I thought I might have found a chance at happiness. *** Sunday was spent moping around feeling sorry for myself, unable to stop berating myself for how stupid I had been to ever think I had a chance with Benjamin. Monday, I went back to work on autopilot, doing enough of my job to get by but not really caring at all of the outcome. Went home, ate little, slept. Tuesday was spent the same, as was Wednesday and Thursday. Friday, I woke up feeling completely stupid for my actions the last few days, and vowed that I was done feeling sorry for myself, that it hadn't meant anything to either of us, that he was just a stupid teenager who didn't know what he wanted. That thought made me feel much better, and by the end of the workday, I was looking forward to my weekend. I was going to go out with some friends, party, get drunk, maybe find a hot someone for a one-night stand, and forget all about Benjamin. I headed home, stripped out my clothes, got into the shower and was halfway through a jack-off session when my phone went off. His ringtone. A text message, or telephone call? I jumped out, dried my hands off and grabbed my cell, quickly opening up the new text I had received. Sunshine: 'Wat u doin' I laughed. Did I really have the nerve to tell him? I wondered as I looked down at my still rock-hard dick. Sure I did. It would prove to him that he was missing something great. Me: 'Jacking off.' Him: 'Send pic.' Me: 'No, that would be cheating on your boyfriend.' Him: 'Plz, ill send u sum bak' At that point I didn't care, yet again, for the consequences. I was thinking with my dick, which is a bad idea for all parties involved. Try not to do it. Me: 'Ok I send you one, you send me one?' Him: 'K' Oh my God, I couldn't believe I was about to do this! I stroked my dick a few times, got it looking nice and hard, and snapped a picture, sending it before I changed my mind. It wasn't long before I received a picture message in return. I was actually nervous to see it. Would it be like my fantasies? Cut, uncut? Oh, I hoped it was a nice dick. I opened the message, and was pleasantly surprised. "Fuck," I moaned, stroking my dick even harder. He was uncut, his foreskin wrapped tightly halfway covering his head, which had a bead of precum dripping down. His pubes were trimmed almost tight against his skin. Fuck, he was so hot! I quickly sent him off another picture, this time from below, a shot of my balls, dick dangling over top of them. He sent another back, a full body shot, his pierced nipples, slightly rounded stomach, dick pointing up against his stomach, coming up almost to his navel. He had his glans pierced! I sent him off a quick text: 'Fuck you're so hot I'm gonna cum for you' His reply was almost instantaneous: 'no! dnt cum yet I wanna cum ovr nd u can empty ur ballz in2 my hole' What?! But he had a boyfriend! And after last Saturday, he had made it clear that he didn't want anything more to do with me! Fuck. Me: 'You really want me to fuck you?' Him: 'Fuk yes ur so fukn hot i rly wnt you 2 fuk me' And another right after that: 'Dnt bring up joey eithr!' I couldn't help but laugh again. 'Joey who?' Him: 'can I cum ovr' Me: 'And what if you get here and change your mind?' Him: 'idk. can I cum ovr or not' Me: 'Ok." My mind screaming at me that I was being stupid again, I texted him my address. Him: 'K, b there in 10' I didn't reply, just sat my phone on counter, jumped back in the shower and cleaned up, my dick begging for some hot release. Soon, I said to my balls and rubbed them thoughtfully, soon. Sure enough, just after I'd dried off, slid on a pair of red gym shorts, put on some deodorant and my best cologne, there was a knock on my door. "Fuck," I whispered, suddenly all nerves. I took a quick look around to make sure everything was in place, not that there was time to pick anything up anyway. I opened the door, and he was inside in a flash, already stripping out of his shirt. "Fuck me, tear my hole open," he moaned as he threw his shirt on the floor and slid his gray sweats to the floor. There he was, in all his naked glory, uncut pierced dick poking up against his stomach. I was on my knees in an instant, deepthroating every inch of him all the way to his trimmed pubic hair. He moaned and grabbed my hair, holding me in place. "Zack!" he moaned again, and pulled out of my mouth, throwing himself facedown over the arm of the sofa, his beautiful rosebud peaking up at me. His entire ass was hairless; whether shaved, or natural, it didn't matter. I crawled forward and slammed my tongue into him, furiously and achingly rimming him, making his hole as wet as possible for its next invasion. "Fuck me, now," he demanded. I was on my feet in an instant, my dick pressed against his hole. "Bareback?" I asked, remembering his text that said he wanted me to empty my balls inside him. He turned and looked at me over his shoulder, smiling. I took that as a yes, put some spit on my dick and pushed. "Yes!" he screamed, "all the way, don't stop!" Damn, but I loved a guy who wanted it rough. I pushed, my dick sliding all the way in until our balls were touching beneath us. His fingers dug into the sofa cushion and he moaned something unintelligible as he pushed back against me. It didn't take long for my balls to start boiling, letting me know how close I was to shooting my load. "I'm gonna cum in you," I warned. "Fuck yes, fill me with that big load of your cum," he whimpered, head still buried in the cushions. "Dig your nails into my back!" I did exactly that, leaving ten trails of red in the wake of my fingers as they tore into him, my dick pumping in and out as fast as I could. "Here it comes!" I said and pounded into him one last time, my balls releasing my pent-up aggression after a week of non-activity and coating his insides with a hot, sticky mess. His body convulsed as I reached under and stroked his throbbing dick until I felt a jet of hotness shooting out, after which I pulled my dick out and sank into the sofa next to him. "Fuck, that was so hot!" I said, my head back against the headrest, my fingers sticky with his cum. I sat back up, brought my fingers to my lips, and swallowed down every drop of his sweet, delicious cum. At that point, he started giggling like a little schoolgirl. "What?" I asked, surprised. "I can't believe you really did it!" he said and lay his head on my lap, looking up at me. "You begged me to fuck you, and then you showed up on my doorstep," I said with a smile and traced my fingers across his lips, making him shiver with delight. "Why wouldn't I?" "Is this just going to be about sex for you?" he asked and suddenly sat up, hands covering his junk. "No!" I exclaimed and sat up straighter. "Why would you think that?" "Because I begged for sex and you gave it to me," he said and stood up, reaching for his clothes. "Whoa!" I said and pulled him back onto the sofa. "We've spent the last two weeks flirting. I really like you, you make me laugh and I can't get you out of my mind! Just because I fucked you doesn't mean it's only about sex!" "And what if one of us has an STD?" I was shocked. "I don't, I get tested every six weeks." "Bullshit," he countered. "Everyone says that, and no one does it. More like every six years." "I'll show you every printout I have that proves every time I get tested!" I said, standing up and heading to my desk for the folder that contained exactly that. I handed it to him, and he sat there stunned as he leafed through the papers. "See? Now, are you clean or not?" He looked at me sheepishly for a moment, then looked down and pulled on his sweats. "I don't know, I've never been tested." "Oh geez," I said as I sank into my desk chair. "Look, I have to go, I shouldn't have come here," he said and pulled his shirt over his head. "You're so damn confusing!" I exclaimed and stood up, sliding my gym shorts on so I wasn't the only naked one in the room. "You flirt with me like crazy, make me think you're the coolest guy on the planet, refuse to let me buy you dinner, don't speak to me for a week, then come over and let me fuck you bareback, and you don't even know if you have any diseases. What the fuck do you want from me?" He was backed up against the door, hands in the pockets of his sweats, looking at the floor. He just shrugged, not saying anything. "You think this is some sort of game?" I asked, stepping up to him and placing both hands against the door, blocking him in with my body. "You think you can just tease every poor sucker who walks in to buy food, and get away with it?" I leaned down and kissed him. He didn't move for a second, then kissed me back with fervor. After I pulled him back to the sofa, never breaking our intense liplock, he sank back, breathing heavily, then stared at me for a brief moment. "We broke up." And he launched himself into a fit of tears. Wow. What could I say to that? I couldn't think of anything, so I just sat there and held him, my arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders, trying to soothe his pain away. Eventually his crying subsided, and shortly after that he fell into a peaceful sleep. I didn't move the entire time, just held him in my arms, trying to protect him from the world. When I awoke, he was gone. I looked at the clock, which read 12:15 am. Not bothering to look for him because I knew he wouldn't be hiding elsewhere in my apartment, I went for my cell and sent him a message: 'Are you ok?' Him: 'No' Me: 'Why did you leave?' Him: 'Wat gud wud it b 4 me 2 stay' Me: 'I don't know, but I could have consoled you for as long as you needed.' Him: 'it wudnt fukn mattr cuz im jus fukd up nd dnt deserve ne1' Me: 'Don't say that! You're a great kid, and I'm glad you opened up to me.' Him: 'I fukn cried on ur sofa y the fuk wud u wana c me aftr that?' Me: 'Because I care about you and don't want to see you hurt!' Him: 'im goin 2 sleep' I sighed, knowing he was just ignoring the situation, and texted an honest reply: 'Ok, I'm here if you want to talk, no matter what time of day or night.' I didn't get a reply, and sincerely hoped he was going to be all right. Break-ups can be difficult, especially for someone so young and inexperienced at how to deal with the rough emotions. The only thing I knew to do was wait, and hope he opened up to me. *** I wish I could tell you a happy ending, I really do. But events in real-life are never a 100% guarantee of true happiness. It was a learning experience for me, one mistake that I will never make again. After Benjamin left me sleeping on my sofa, I tried several times to make contact but he never replied back, to my texts or my calls. I never thought it prudent to go back to Subway, for fear that he would accuse me of stalking. I've only seen him once since our rendezvous, and he was with some other guy. They both looked extremely happy, so I wasn't about to intrude. Benjamin's eighteenth birthday was a few days ago, which is what prompted me to write this in the first place. I can't help but wonder what he is doing right now. Will he ever read this? Does he have the same regrets and worries about what we did? Benjamin, if you ever DO see this, this message is for you and you alone: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have allowed us to take things so far, knowing how lost you were feeling about everything, about Joey, about life in general. Just know that our time together, short though it was, meant a lot to me, and I hope that someday you are truly happy. The End