Subject: The alt.sex FAQ, Part 2: COMMONLY USED TERMS AND ACRONYMS ABOUT SEX AND ALT.SEX Newsgroups: alt.sex , alt.sex.wizards COMMONLY USED TERMS AND ACRONYMS ABOUT SEX AND ALT.SEX COMMON TERMS anilingus stimulation of the anus with the mouth areola the dark ring of skin surrounding the nipple bestiality sex with animals bisexual a person who is sexually or romantically attracted to both sexes blue balls see question c4-6 circumcision the surgical procedure of removing the foreskin clitoris the most sensitive external female sex organ, located near the top of the vulva. condom a sheath of latex, plastic, or animal skin worn over the penis to prevent sperm ejaculation into the vagina. cunnilingus stimulation of the vulva with the mouth dental dam a piece of latex placed over the vulva during cunnilingus to protect both partners from STDs diaphragm a dome-shaped cap of rubber designed to cover the cervical opening and prevent sperm from entering the cervix. dildo an artificial penis used in sexual activity. felching consuming the resultant semen after anal sex. fellatio stimulation of the penis with the mouth fisting inserting a whole hand into either the vagina or the anus foreskin skin covering the head of the penis in uncircumsized men frottage sexual pleasure from rubbing against another person gerbiling the activity of Urban Legend status regarding the insertion of a gerbil or similarly-sized rodent into the anus heterosexual a person who is sexually or romantically attracted only to the opposite sex. homosexual a person who is sexually or romantically attracted only to the same sex hymen any tissue that partly or completely covers the vaginal opening incest sexual intercourse between closely related persons IUD intrauterine device, a method of birth control labia external folds of flesh of the vulva. labia majora the thicker, outside labia labia minora the inner labia lesbian a homosexual woman mons mound of flesh located above the vagina obsex Obligated Sexual Comment/Reference; inserted at the end of some posts which otherwise have very little to do with sex prostitution exchange of money for sexual favors rape sexual activity forced upon someone unwilling or unable to give consent rimming see anilingus safeword the code phrase or word used in any sort of B&D/S&M activity that really means "Stop NOW." sodomy often simply refers to anal sex; however, the actual dictionary definition includes anything considered "unnatural or deviate sexual intercourse" which may include everything from oral sex to sex between partners of the same gender swinging consensual sex involving the exchange of marital partners for sexual purposes transvestite an individual who is sexually or emotionally stimulated or satisfied by dressing in clothing of the opposite sex vibrator an electrically driven machine that vibrates vulva collective term referring to a woman's external genitalia water sports sex involving urine or urination (also "scat", sex involving feces) zoophilia see bestiality COMMON ACRONYMS :) :-) smiley, indicates humor or sarcasm (many variations exist) 69 mutual oral sex ASB alt.sex.bondage ASW alt.sex.wizards ASS alt.sex.stories ASSD alt.sex.stories.d APBE alt.pictures.binaries.erotica B&D bondage and discipline (consensual) BDSM Bondage/Discipline/Sadism/Masochism. Generic term. BTW by the way D&S Dominance and Submission FAQ frequently asked question IMHO in my humble/honest opinion IMNSHO in my not so humble opinion LJBF let's just be friends MOTAS member of the appropriate sex MOTOS member of the opposite sex MOTSS member of the same sex S&M,S/M sadism and masochism or sadomasochism SO significant other Subject: The alt.sex FAQ, Part 3: THE SEXUAL ANATOMY OF WOMEN Newsgroups: alt.sex , alt.sex.wizards THE SEXUAL ANATOMY OF WOMEN The Vulva is the external sexual organ of women. There are many questions about the vulva on alt.sex, and this FAQ will begin to attempt to answer some of these. THE VOCABULARY OF THE VULVA Vulva The external female genitals are collectively referred to as The Vulva. All of the words below are part of the vulva. Mons Veneris. The mons veneris, Latin for "hill of Venus" (Roman Goddess of love) is the pad of fatty tissue that covers the pubic bone below the abdomen but above the labia. The mons is sexually sensitive in some women and protects the pubic bone from the impact of sexual intercourse. Labia Majora The labia majora are the outer lips of the vulva, pads of fatty tissue that wrap around the vulva from the mons to the perineum. These labia are usually covered with pubic hair, and contain numerous sweat and oil glands, and it has been suggested that the scent from these are sexually arousing. Labia Minora The labia minora are the inner lips of the vulva, thin stretches of tissue within the labia majora that fold and protect the vagina, urethra, and clitoris. The appearance of labia minora can vary widely, from tiny lips that hide between the labia majora to large lips that protrude. The most common metaphor for the labia minora is that of a flower. Both the inner and outer labia are quite sensitive to touch and pressure. Clitoris The clitoris, a small white oval between the top of the labia minora and the clitoral hood, is a small body of spongy tissue that is highly sexually sensitive. The clitoris is protected by the prepuce, or clitoral hood, a covering of tissue similar to the labia minora. During sexual excitement, the clitoris may extend and the hood retract to make the clitoris more accessible. Some clitori are very small; other women may have large clitori that the hood does not completely cover. Urethra The opening to the urethra is just below the clitoris. It is not related to sex or reproduction, but is instead the passage for urine. The urethra is connected to the bladder. Because the urethra is so close to the anus, women should always wipe themselves from front to back to avoid infecting the vagina and urethra with bacteria. Hymen The opening of the vagina in precoital women (i.e. those who have never had sex before) is typically covered by a thin tissue membrane called the hymen. The hymen, which serves no known function, is usually perforated to allow the flow of menstrual blood to leave the body after puberty. Usually, the hymen stretches across or surrounds some but not all of the vaginal opening. The hymen is the traditional "symbol" of virginity, although being a very thin membrane, it can be torn by vigorous exercise or the insertion of a tampon. Some women are born with hymens so thin as to be almost nonexistant, and intercourse may not tear the hymen in even average women; instead, it may simply stretch. Perineum The perineum is the short stretch of skin starting at the bottom of the vulva and extending to the anus. The perineum in women often tears during birth to accomodate passage of the child, and this is apparently natural. Some physicians may cut the perineum preemptively on the grounds that the "tearing" may be more harmful than a precise scalpel, but studies show that such cutting in fact may increase the potential for infection. Vagina The vagina extends from the vaginal opening to the cervix, the opening to the uterus. The vagina serves as the receptacle for the penis during sexual intercourse, and as the birth canal through which the baby passes during labor. The average vaginal canal is three inches long, possibly four in women who have given birth. This may seem short in relation to the penis, but during sexual arousal the cervix will lift upwards and the fornix may extend upwards into the body as long as necessary to receive the penis. After intercourse, the contraction of the vagina will allow the cervix to rest inside the fornix, which in its relaxed state is a bowl-shaped fitting perfect for the pooling of semen. At either side of the vaginal opening are the Bartholin's glands, which produce small amounts of lubricating fluid, apparently to keep the inner labia moist during periods of sexual excitement. Further within are the hymen glands, which secrete lubricant for the length of the vaginal canal. "G-Spot" The word is in quotes because there is still some debate as to the existance or purpose of the G- spot. In the illustration above, what is indicated as the g-spot in fact points to a region known as the Skenes glands, the purpose of which are unknown. Despite the controversy, one fact remains-- there are many women who claim that pressure on this region of the vagina is extremely pleasurable. Usually, two fingers are used, and because the spot is deep within the tissue, some pressure may be needed. Also, because the Skenes glands are alongside the bladder, some women may found that the increased pressure makes them feel as if they need to urinate. Cervix The cervix is the opening to the uterus. It varies in diameter from 1 to 3 millimeters, depending upon the time in the menstrual cycle the measurement is taken. The cervix is sometimes plugged with cervical mucous to protect the cervix from infection; during ovulation, this mucous becomes a thin fluid to permit the passage of sperm. Uterus The uterus, or womb, is the main female internal reproductive organ. The inner lining of the uterus is called the endometrium, which grows and changes during the menstrual cycle to prepare to receive a fertilized egg, and sheds a layer at the end of every menstrual cycle if fertilization does not happen. The utereus is lined with powerful muscles to push the child out during labor. Ovaries The ovaries perform two functions: the production of estrogen and progesterone, the female sex hormones, and the production of mature ova, or eggs. At birth, the ovaries contain nearly 400,000 ova, and those are all she will ever have. However, that is far more than she will need, since during an average lifespan she will go through about 500 menstrual cycles. After maturing, the single egg travels down the fallopian tube, a journey of three or four days-- this is the period during which a woman is fertile and pregnancy may occur. Eggs that are not fertilized are expelled during menstruation. FREQUENTLY ANSWERED QUESTIONS WHAT IS THE G-SPOT? The Grafenberg spot, or G-spot, is an area located within the anterior (or front) wall of the vagina, about one centimetre from the surface and one-third to one-half way in from the vaginal opening (see illustration and text). It is reported to consist of a system of glands (Skene's glands) and ducts that surround the urethra (Heath, 1984). Some authors write that you must press "deeply" into the tissue with two fingers to reach it with any effectiveness. The significance of the G-spot is that some women (about half) report that it is a highly sensitive area that under the right conditions can be very pleasurable if stimulated. For some women, it can be a primary source of stimulation leading to orgasm during intercourse. Other women report no particular stimulation, and some say that it feels as if they need to urinate. The G-Spot has been linked to the phenomenon known as female ejaculation. To date, there is little data about female ejaculation, although there is some speculation that it is the product of the Skene's glands. WHAT IS TOXIC SHOCK SYNDROME? Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS) is a rare but serious illness which can occur in men, women and children. About half the number of cases reported are associated with using tampons and affect a tiny number of women every year-- only about 1 out of every 1.5 million women who have periods. TSS can occasionally be fatal. Toxic Shock Syndrome can be treated successfully providing it is recognised quickly, and most young people make a full recovery. Younger people may more at risk from the bacteria which are believed to cause this rare condition, because their immune system may not be fully developed. In the unlikely event that you have these symptoms during your period--a high fever (over 102F or 39C), rash, vomiting, diarrhoea, sore throat, dizziness or fainting - you must remove your tampon and consult your doctor immediately. These symptoms can be early warning signs of TSS, which can develop very quickly and may seem like flu to begin with. Do not worry about wasting the doctor's time and remember to say you have been wearing a tampon. Do not use tampons again without checking first with your doctor. By using tampons correctly and following the advice below, you will reduce the risk of developing TSS. REMEMBER: * Always wash your hands before and after insertion and removal of a tampon. * Always remove the used tampon before inserting a new one. * Always remember to remove the last tampon at the end of your period. * Never use 2 tampons at once. * Tampons should only be used when you have a period. Subject: The alt.sex FAQ, Part 4: THE SEXUAL ANATOMY OF MEN Newsgroups: alt.sex , alt.sex.wizards THE SEXUAL ANATOMY OF MEN: THE PENIS AND SCROTUM The penis and scrotum are the external sexual organs of men. There are many questions about the penis on alt.sex, and this FAQ will attempt to begin to answer some of them. VOCABULARY OF THE PENIS AND SCROTUM glans The glans is the head of the penis. The glans in uncircumcised men is usually covered by the prepuce. The glans is highly sensitive, as is the corona, the ridge of flesh that connects the glans to the shaft of the penis. corona The 'crown,' a ridge of flesh demarcating where the head of the penis and the shaft join. frenulum, frenum A thin strip of flesh on the underside of the penis that connects the shaft to the head. foreskin, prepuce A roll of skin which covers the head of the penis in uncircumsized men. urethra, meatus The opening at the tip of the penis to allow the passage of both urine and semen. smega A substance with the texture of cheese secreted by glands on each side of the frenulum in uncircumsized men. scrotum The scrotum is a sac that hangs behind and below the penis, and containts the testes, the male sexual glands. The scrotum's primary function is to maintain the testes at approximately 34 C, the temperature at which the testes most effectively produce sperm. Male Internal Sexual Anatomy Testes, Testicles. The male sexual glands, the two testes within the scrotum produce sperm and testosterone. Within each testis is a kilometer of ducts called the seminiferous tubules, the organs which generate sperm. Each testicle produces nearly 150 million sperm every 24 hours. Epididymis The epididymis is a 'holding pen' where sperm produced by the seminiferous tubules mature. The sperm wait here until ejaculation or nocturnal emission Vas deferns The ducts leading from the epididymis to the seminal vesicles. These are the ducts that are cut during the procedure known as vasectomy. Seminal vesicles The seminal vesicles produce semen, a fluid that activates and protects the sperm after it has left the penis during ejaculation Prostate gland Also produces a fluid that makes up the semen. The prostate gland also squeezes shut the urethral duct to the bladder, thus preventing urine from mixing with the semen and disturbing the pH balance required by sperm. Corpa cavernosa The corpa cavernosa are the two spongy bodies of erectile tissue on either side of the penis which become engorged with blood from arteries in the penis, thus causing erection. Ejaculatory Ducts The path through the seminal glands which semen travels during ejaculation. Cowper's Glands The Cowper's glands secrete a small amount of pre-ejaculate fluid prior to orgasm. This fluid neutralizes the acidity within the urethra itself. FREQUENTLY ANSWERED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PENIS. WHAT'S THE AVERAGE SIZE OF THE PENIS? WHAT ARE THE EXTREMES? According to the book Mandens Krop (which is translated from English, but does not give the original title) the average is 15cm and 90% are between 13 and 18cm. The records for a fully functional penis are 1.5cm and 30cm. IS PENIS SIZE IMPORTANT? This is probably one of the most frequently asked questions on alt.sex, and that's a shame, because it's really a pointless question. Penis size is important if and only if you think it is. If you have sex with men and you desire a large penis, then penis size is important to you, and only to you. If you feel your penis should be larger, then penis size is important to you, and only to you. Many women say that too many men are hung up on the size of their penises. The vagina is only eight to thirteen centimeters long, and even a small penis can touch every square centimeter within the vagina. CAN PENIS SIZE BE INCREASED? Yes. There are two surgical procedures to increase penis size-- the Bihari Procedure, and Fat Injection. The Bihari Procedure consists of cutting the ligament that secures the base of the penis to the body. This gives between one-half and two inches of increased length to the penis; however, because the penis is no longer anchored to the body an erection no longer points 'up.' Fat Injection is the process of removing fat from the backs of the thighs and injecting it into the body of the penis to make the penis thicker. Because the body rejects a significant portion of the injection this procedure may need to be repeated several times and each operation carries with it a severe risk of infection. HOW DO I MEASURE MY PENIS? According to Harold Reed, M.D., director of the Reed Centre for Ambulatory Urological Surgery in Bay Harbor, Florida, this is the correct way to measure the length of your penis: First, while standing, get an erection. Okay, now gently angle your, er, equipment down until it is parallel to the floor. Set your ruler against your pubic bone just above the base of the penis, and measure to the tip. Thats how the doctors do it. MY PENIS BENDS DOWN (OR LEFT, OR RIGHT). IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT? One-quarter of all penises bend in some direction and some bend downward even when erect. Unless the bend is severe or causes you pain, there is nothing wrong or abnormal about your penis. It should not interfere with sexual intercourse. Some people report that a downward-bending penis is easier to fellate. In rare cases a condition called Peyrone's Syndrome can arise from childhood diseases. This condition is caused by scarring on one of the two corpa cavernosa within the penis, stunting its effectiveness during erection and causing the penis to bend almost 90 degrees in that direction. If you feel this may be the case, consult a urologist. WHAT IS CIRCUMCISION AND WHY IS IT DONE? Male circumcision is the surgical removal of the foreskin from the penis. When performed in a hospital, it is usually done shortly after birth by a doctor or midwife. Circumcisions are also given to Jewish boys by a mohel in a ceremony eight days after birth. Some Islamic boys are circumcised when they are older, around age 12. The majority of American boys are circumcised. Common reasons for circumcision include: better hygiene, "normal" or "better" appearance, and "his penis should look like his father's." Common reasons against circumcision include: it is no longer necessary for hygienic reasons; it is a painful, barbaric practice; possibility of infection or surgical error; "normal" or "better" appearance; "his penis should look like his father's."; and "greater sensitivity of uncircumcised penis." WHAT ARE BLUE BALLS? Blue Balls is a real condition! The "correct" term for blue balls is epididymitis, which is an inflammation of the epididymis. In simple terms blue balls occurs when the epididymis get blocked up with sperm that have left the testis but not the penis. The vas deferns are the conduit for the sperm from the testis to the urethra. When they get blocked you get pain. Why blue balls and not "swollen balls," well maybe the connotation is that you balls have the "blues", or maybe its because with all that swelling some of the blood flow is restricted enough to cause some blueing of the area because of pooling blood. WHY IS THE PROSTATE MENTIONED SO OFTEN DURING DISCUSSIONS OF ANAL SEX? The prostate is about the size of a walnut in a normal man, and is immediately behind the rectal wall about three centimeters inside the anus. It can be felt by placing one finger within the anus and feeling along the anterior wall for a round bulb. For some men, touching or rubbing this spot is extremely pleasurable; a rare few can even orgasm through this technique. Others report that the touch is painful or makes them feel as if they need to urinate. The alt.sex FAQ on anal sex answers this question in more detail. Subject: The alt.sex FAQ, Part 5: HAVING S-E-X FOR THE FIRST TIME, FOR BOTH OF YOU. Newsgroups: alt.sex , alt.sex.wizards , alt.sex.first-time HAVING S-E-X FOR THE FIRST TIME, FOR BOTH OF YOU. (The FAQ for alt.sex.first-time) For both partners: HOW DO I HAVE "GOOD" SEX? What follows is not a set of rules. Rules about sex are impossible-- what should matter is that what you do makes you feel good. And "feeling good" should last past the sex itself-- you should not feel anxious afterwards about getting her pregnant or catching some horrible disease, so planning ahead about contraception and safe sex is part of the idea. WHAT TIME SHOULD WE HAVE SEX? When you have sex doesn't really matter. What should matter instead is that you and your partner have sex when you are both comfortable. Some people prefer to make love at the break of dawn, some in the afternoon sun, some in the darkness of night. More important than time of day is the time you have to spend. Give yourself a lot of time to have sex the first time. A weekend is ideal, but at least the whole day, including sleep time. SHOULD WE EAT OR DRINK ANYTHING BEFORE SEX? Avoid eating a heavy meal, since that'll just make you sleepy. Eat light, don't drink too much alcohol, if any at all. It may help you shed inhibitions, but it may also make his erection much more difficult to achieve and you want to spend more time in the bedroom than the bathroom anyway, right? WHERE SHOULD WE HAVE SEX? Where you have sex is probably a more important decision. Finding a place where you both can be private for up to forty-eight hours can be difficult at that age where most people are planning on losing their virginity. But it's worth it. Cars are no longer big enough to have sex in, and the outdoors has less privacy, bugs, sand, and pine needles. A bed is probably the best thing to make love in, still. Hopefully you'll have a room to yourself, with all the amenities that a bedroom affords, including heat, comfort, space, and the bathroom. Take a shower together! If you're about to have sex, you've probably had your hands all over each other before now. Get to know each other's bodies. Take your time. That's what lovemaking is about. WHAT DO WE NEED TO BRING? Bring what you need to make you comfortable. Birth control, condoms, maybe your favorite pillow or a bathrobe. For her: WHAT DO I DO FIRST? You can't expect him to know what makes you feel good. You'll have to tell him or show him, and that may mean taking some of the initiative, taking his hands and placing them where they make you feel good. Go slow. If it's his first time, he may well be totally nervous about what you're about to do, and his penis may not respond at first. Patience, gentleness, and understanding are required to bring it back to life, and that may be hard for you to achieve, but that's why we told you to give yourselves lots of time. WILL IT HURT? You have probably heard horror stories about how much losing your virginity hurts. For a few women, it does, but with the right touch and the right partner, you should be able to take his penis into your body without pain. Have him take his time, use a lubricant, and press his fingers into you, opening you up slowly. Tell him when it feels good and when it hurts. WHAT POSITION SHOULD I USE? Many women prefer to have sex the first time being on top, where they can control the first entry. Others want to be on the bottom and give their lovers that control. Choose what's best for you. Just remember to tell him to go slow, take your time, and if you feel the need, use a commercial lubricant like KY Jelly. For him: WHAT IF I CAN'T GET IT UP? It may sound funny, but your penis, which has worked great for years, may suddenly go on strike at your first chance at "real" sex. That's natural-- you're nervous. Take a deep breath. Do something else for a while with your hands, your lips and your tongue. Try to forget about your anxiety, and your penis will respond. It's only a temporary thing. SHOULD I TELL HER IF I'M A VIRGIN? Many men think that because they're men, they should be in charge of the sex, regardless of who has the more experience. If you're a virgin and she's not, tell her, and let her lead if she wishes. This is as much a learning experience as a loving one. Don't be afraid to confess the truth. A lot of women would rather know that your fumbling is inexperience, rather than just sheer ineptitude, and will gratefully show you the ways of the world. WILL WE COME AT THE SAME TIME? Don't worry about making orgasm simultaneous, either. Some women do not orgasm during intercourse, and even if your girlfriend is capable of climax, the odds are very much against you coming at the same time. Enjoy yourself, and rely on her to tell you the truth when she's enjoying herself. WHAT IF I ORGASM TOO SOON? If you actually climax much too soon before you wanted to, take your time, take a nap, and try again. The second time you should be much more relaxed and ready to take your time-- so will your penis. AM I BIG ENOUGH? TOO BIG? THE RIGHT SHAPE? Another common concern is size. The average penis is slightly more than five and a half inches in length when erect, and that's more than enough to hit every major nerve center in the vagina, the legendary G-spot included. The vagina is capable of stretching to take a large penis, or shape itself to pleasure a small one. Size has very little to do with your ability as a lover. Another common issue is shape. Some men become concerned because their penis bends downwards, or to the left, and assume that because they never see men like them in erotic movies that they're not normal. Others worry that a downward bend will make sex difficult or painful because the vagina isn't shaped with that bend in mind. Keep in mind that sex can be performed in any number of positions. The penis and vagina can be matched in many different ways, and each new position can bring new pleasures to you and your partner. Some people believe that a downward-bending penis is much easier to perform oral sex upon. WILL I BE A GOOD LOVER? Being a good lover doesn't happen automatically. With the right partner, time, care, and practice, you have everything you need to become a great lover. Your first times, for both you, will be fumbling and awkward, but hopefully they'll be the start of great times for the rest of your lives. -- Subject: The alt.sex FAQ, Part 6: BETTER SEX Newsgroups: alt.sex , alt.sex.wizards THE ALT SEX FAQ PART 6 BETTER SEX It is perhaps a shame that while we live in one of the most advanced cultures in the world and yet know so little about how to make each other happy in that most human of all endeavors, sex. With a few small additions to your sexual vocabulary you can break out of boredom and lead happier, more satisfying sex lives. Here in this FAQ we'll look at three important additions to one's sex life: position, time, and location. SEXUAL POSITIONS Man on top. Everybody starts out in this so-called "missionary position": man on top, woman on the bottom, face-to-face. It's where we were when most of us lost our virginity. This position gets a lot of bad press these days because it's "old-fashioned," or perhaps because it's "patriarchal." Actually, there's nothing wrong with this position; it affords excellent support for thrusting, close intimate contact between lovers, and is an ideal position for conception. The woman may lie with her legs spread wide and to the sides, or may draw them up to her chest. In either position, the man cannot reach her vulva for manual stimulation although in the first he can reach her breasts. A variation on this position is for the woman to sit in a chair or on the edge of a low bed, thus allowing the man to kneel on the floor for thrusting. For heavyset men it can reduce the weight he places upon his partner, and allows for both partners to reach their genitals. Although technically regarded as "superior" to traditional missionary position by many sex therapists, most people who actually have sex feel this position is less "intimate." A third variant of man-on-top is one in which the woman lies on her stomach and the man penetrates her from behind. For many women, this position can stimulate the G-spot; however, it can also cause the penis to strike the cervix, causing pain. While this position has many of the disadvantages of any position where two people are not face-to-face, it is still popular with some couples. Woman on top. This position is highly recommended in the few "how to lose your virginity" manuals still lying around, mostly because it allows the woman to fully control the speed at which sex occurs. There are several different positions classified as "woman on top." The most common is that she straddles his hips, taking his penis inside her, and then lies atop him, either with her legs bent or stretched out. She may also choose to just sit straight up atop him, sliding up and down; this position is both visually stimulating for the man and allows him to play with her breasts freely. Occassionally in adult movies one may see this position done with the woman facing away from her partner. While the sensations giving to both partners in this position are very different and may be very stimulating, most people feel the loss of intimacy involved is not worth the difference. Sitting. This position is for sex in slow motion; the angles are all wrong for any sort of vigorous thrusting. The man sits in a chair or cross-legged on the floor while the woman sits astride him, usually face-to-face although it can work equally well if she faces away. This position is good for caressing and intimacy. Some people recommend rocking chairs for this position. Standing. Remincent of "quickies" and illicit sex in alleyways, standing is actually one of the more complicated positions to achieve, at least face-to-face. Insertion can be difficult; standing, the vagina is not tilted forward for easy access. Since women are on average shorter than their male partners this position may require a short footstool or convenient staircase step to make it possible. At any rate, someone may want a friendly wall to hold both of them up during this act. Another variant of standing is similar to the third one in man- on-top; the woman faces the wall or bookcase or whatever she's using to hold herself up and the man penetrates her vagina from behind. This position is considerably easier than face-to-face standing, and many people like it for it's "naughty" or "illicit" connotations. Side-by-side These positions all mirror the "on top" positions, except that the partners now lie on their sides on the bed. They can be achieved face-to-face, at an angle or from behind. The one difficulty with this position face-to-face is that someone has to rest their leg atop their partners; after only a few minutes this sometimes causes cramping and pain. Done when the woman faces away from the man, it can be slow, relaxing; one can almost fall asleep comfortably like this. In this position, it is known as "spooning." (The term applies mostly to the act of sleeping in that position, not necessarily the act of sex.) Rear-entry Although several positions already described can also be covered under this term, most people use this term to describe the position in which the woman kneels on her hands and knees while the man enters her from behind. Some people strongly dislike this position because of the lack of intimacy and the suggestion of male "dominance"; others like it for the freedom and strength that can be employed during the act of intercourse. The term "doggy style" has been employed to describe this position in the past, although this descriptive is inaccurate at best. TIME When should we have sex? When you have sex is a decision you will start to make only after you've gotten through the initial "all the time!" stage. Eventually, though, any person will develop a habit of making love with a certain pattern. Acquiring that pattern is the start of boredom; breaking that pattern can be the road to a new discovery. If you and your partner are prone to making love only at night, try it for breakfast instead. Run home during lunch for a quickie. No time is more significant to lovemaking than any other, except that the time be good for both you and your partner. LOCATION Where should we have sex? In bed, to start with. Seriously, there is no "better" place to make love than a bed. It's designed to hole people lying down; it's even designed for them to be a little rambunctious. However, like time of day, location can become boring with repetition. Moving your sex life into a different room can be as much of a change as night and day. For starters, try the living room; most have a couch. Spread a blanket on the floor, start a fire in the fireplace if you have one, feed each other small, intimate snacks like grapes and champagne, and enjoy. A quickie on the kitchen floor (so popular since Indecent Proposal) can be fun as well. What about the shower? The shower, as well as the swimming pool, have their disadvantages. For one thing, lubricant doesn't last very long in environments of such overwhelming volumes of water. For another, usually the only position available is standing, with all of the attendant problems of differences in height. However, it's frequently the only place other thant he bedroom where both of you are likely to be comfortable and naked, especially in winter. And outdoors? Having sex outdoors has its own challenges and rewards. Many people feel that sex outdoors is closer to nature; others feel it is more illicit, "in full view of the whole sky." If you're going to have sex outdoors in any position other than standing, plan ahead of time to bring a blanket. Avoid using bug spray and sun block until afterwards-- both taste awful. On the other hand, sunburns on your genitals can be excrutiating; take care. Caveat lover... Having sex in strange places is a turn-on for many. How strange a place you want to make love is a matter of some concern of course, since outside of the privacy of your own home, having sex in full view is likely to arouse the interest of the local constabulary. Getting arrested for public indecency is likely to catch the attention of your employer as well. Plan any such dalliances in advance and scope out your intended rendezvous point for possible problems, interruptions, and routes of escape if necessary. And whatever you do, put your used condoms and wrappers in the trash can; stopping litter isn't just good citizenship, here's it's a matter of sheer good taste. -- Subject: The alt.sex FAQ, Part 8: FELLATIO - ORAL SEX UPON A PENIS Newsgroups: alt.sex , alt.sex.wizards FELLATIO - ORAL SEX UPON A PENIS What is Fellatio? Fellatio, giving head, giving a blow-job. Many men love this kind of stimulation, and many people, both women and men, like giving it. Fellatio is the act of applying your lips to a man's penis with the purpose of giving him pleasure. There are few tips to fellatio that can be given other than practice. The lips and the tongue are the major sources of stimulation, and it is with the lips and tongue that you should apply the attention to make him feel good. Both men and women respond well to pressure and rhythm. A steady, strong stroke will be enough to get the reaction you're looking for. What if it doesn't smell or taste good? If the smell isn't something you enjoy, then tell him to go take a shower! While this is something you're doing primarily for his pleasure, that doesn't mean you have to suffer if he's lacking in hygiene! And if you're worried about germs, your mouth has millions more germs than a clean penis. What is "deep throating?" Deep throating is the act of taking the penis down past your gag reflex. In reality, this particular sexual adventure is very overrated. The best way to give fellatio is still with the lips and tongue, taking only as much as you can without gagging. However, for those that want to know, the basic lesson is still practice. Take the penis as far as you can without choking, and then close your eyes and concentrate, taking each quarter inch, telling yourself that you won't choke, that you can take it out at any time, and slowly swallow it down. Then rise off of it just as slowly. Are there any special spots on the penis? Every penis is different, and each has its sensitive spots and its preferred ways of being handled. Listen to your lover. The sounds he makes and the feel of his body tensing are your best clues that you're going this right. Should I use my hands? Feel free to grasp with your hands whatever of the penis you can't fit into your mouth. Many men like as much stimulation as possible, and the feel of a wet mouth and a saliva-slicked hand are enough to send them to the brink of orgasm very quickly. What is 69? Some people feel that the best position to perform oral sex is the 69 position, where each partner lies with their head by the other's genitals. For fellatio, this even makes sense-- most penises curve upwards, towards the head, and in this position that curve matches the curve of the throat. However, it is difficult to both perform and appreciate oral sex at the same time. Try the position, or kneel by his body, but at least in the beginning do one thing at a time. My boyfriend wants me to swallow. What do I do? Which brings us to a sensitive issue: swallowing ejaculate. For many men, this is important to them-- they like to feel that by swallowing their semen, you complete this act of lovemaking and accept a part of themselves into your body. But many people don't like the taste of semen and can't bring themselves. Talk about this beforehand-- let him know if you can't handle it, and that it's not personal. Can I make my seminal fluids taste better? Macrobiotic nutritionists have actually done research on this question, and the answer is in: you are what you eat. Common sense dictates that if you taste good, your lover will want to eat you more often, so improving your body's taste and smell should be important to you. In general, nutritionsists say that alkaline-based foods such as meets and fish produce a butter, fish taste. Dairy products, which contain a high bacterial putrefaction level create the foulest tasting fluids by far. (Dissent: almost everyone I know says that there is one worse than a high-dairy content-- asparagus. You can't miss the taste of asparagus-laced semen.) Acidic fruits, such as sweets, fruits, and alcohol give bodily fluids a pleasant, sugary flavor. Chemically processed liquors will cause an extremely acidic taste, however, so if you're going to drink alcohol, drink high- quality, naturally fermented beers (Rolling Rock or Kirin) or sake. What are the contents of semen? The question of semen content arises especially among persons who regularly swallow semen, as in fellatio, and who are concerned about calorie intake and nutritional substances. The average ejaculate contains aboutonia, ascorbic acid, blood-group antigens, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine, deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA), fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid, sodium, sorbitol, spermidine, spermine, urea, uric acid, vitamin b12, and zinc. The caloric content of an average ejaculate is estimated to be approximately 15 calories. A last word. There is only one true way to do fellatio, and that's with enthusiasm. You have to love what you're doing to him, either because you love him or you love sucking cock. Loving both is best! Faked orgasms have nothing on lackluster fellatio. -- Subject: The alt.sex FAQ, Part 9: ANAL SEX AND ANALINGUS Newsgroups: alt.sex , alt.sex.wizards THE ALT.SEX FAQ, PART 9. ANAL INTERCOURSE AND ANALINGUS 1. Why would anyone want to have anal sex? For many people, anal sex is the ultimate taboo. Buttfucking makes it sound crude and dirty, sodomy sounds technical. In the 1990's, anal sex has been given the bad rap because of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, is most easily transmitted by anal intercourse. But some people love anal sex. Others hate it. Others haven't tried it yet and are curious. And many people are attracted to it precisely because it's so taboo and mysterious. 2. What is analingus? One other part of the body that some people enjoy licking, or having licked, is the anus. The anus has half the nerve endings in the pelvic region and many people find touching it to be sexually arousing. Although we haven't mentioned safer sex yet as part of this series, we will here: the anus and rectum carry many diseases that live quite benignly in your lower digestive tract, but which can be harmful in your mouth or stomach. Performing anilingus is a very risky behavior for a variety of bacterial infections. Refer to the section on safer sex techniques for ways to protect yourself if you or your partner enjoys this activity. 3. Does anal sex hurt? Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong. With enough lubricant and enough patience, it's entirely possible to enjoy anal sex as a safe and fulfilling part of your sex life. However, some people may never like it, and if your lover is one of those people, respect their limits. Don't force the idea upon them. 4. Can anal sex actually give pleasure? The pleasure of anal sex is derived from many things. Doing something "nasty" appeals to many people, especially about sex. Doing something different to spice up a sex life that has become something of a bore can be part of it. And the physical sensations available during anal sex are uniquely different from anything else. The rectum is lined with nerve endings, some of which signal the brain to 'reward' you with good feelings when stimulated. For men, the prostate gland can be a source of powerful pleasure. And for a thrusting penis, the tight ring of the anus can be a new and strong sensation to enjoy. 5. What do I need to have anal sex? The most important pieces of advice anyone can give on anal sex are: lubricants, condoms, and patience. The most commonly available lubricant is KY-Jelly, a greaseless, odorless substance available at most drug stores. Better lubricants include Astroglide, ID, Wet, or ForePlay, some of which are available at better drug stores, and most of which are available in some form at adult toy stores. Do not buy anything that is oil-based. Make sure the lubricant you buy is rated "condom compatible." Nothing else will do. Oil- based lubricants such as vaseline or baby oil will destroy a condom long before you're done having sex. And many oil-based sub- stances will coat the lining of the rectum, providing a haven for many potential infections. 6. Do I have to use a condom? Even if you're sure that both you and your partner are disease- free, using a condom is still a good idea. The rectum is home to lots of infectious bacteria that can cause burning and urethritis of the penis. It will also help you clean up afterwards. 7. I'm worried that anal sex will be messy. Anal sex can be messy, but such a mess can be avoided; after all, most people can tell when they have to go to the bathroom. A condom will help with cleanup, of course, and if you're really concerned, a commercial enema, like Fleet, will help beforehand. If you do use a commercial enema, read the instructions carefully. 8. How do we prepare for anal sex? Patience is the third and final thing you need to make anal sex possible. Initial penetration is always the most difficult part of anal sex-- the anus is a tight ring of flesh at the opening of the rectum designed to control the elimination of bodily waste. It is partially under voluntary control, and partially reflexive to stim- ulation. Your partner has to relax, and you have to go slow to coax it into opening enough to recieve your penis. Start with a well- lubricated finger or a slim (smaller than your penis) dildo. The dildo is more realistic, but your fingers can flex and feel what they're doing inside her ass. Slide one finger in slowly, letting her adjust to it. Take your finger all the way out, then push it back in again. Give her anus time to get used to this kind of activity. Then slide a second finger in. Consider how big your penis is and realize that two fingers is probably enough. 9. What position should we use for anal sex? For actual intercourse, picking a position can be important. Many women want to be on top, to regulate how fast penetration occurs. Other like to lie on their stomachs, or crouch doggy-style, or to be penetrated while lying on their sides. Choose what's best before you start. As always, control yourself. Take your time and use lots of lubricant. People who like anal sex say that "too much lube is almost enough." Listen to your partner-- if she tells you it starts to hurt, back off. Eventually, a time will come during your lovemaking where her anus will relax enough to allow the head of your cock to 'pop' into her. If she is completely relaxed, that pop should feel completely painless. Now just because you're inside her is no reason to start pounding away like mad. Let her body adjust. Take your time. Eventually you will both be ready for more. 10. Can I get pregnant from anal sex? It is not *technically* possible to get pregnant from anal sex; there is no way for semen to get from the rectal tract to the vaginal tract. However, anal sex is still not a very good method of birth control. Semen leaking from the anus after intercourse may drip across the perineum (the short stretch of skin separating vulva and anus) and cause what is known as a 'splash' conception. The failure rate for this is surprisingly high! 8% of couples of who use anal sex as a method of birth control have babies each year. 11. What if I don't like it? You may find that anal sex just isn't for you. That's fine. Nothing says that you have to indulge in something that doesn't make you feel good. -- Subject: The alt.sex FAQ, Part 7: CUNNILINGUS - ORAL SEX UPON A VULVA Newsgroups: alt.sex , alt.sex.wizards CUNNILINGUS - ORAL SEX UPON A VULVA What is cunnilingus? Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love to a vagina with your mouth and tongue. It is a delicate skill, requiring patience, practice, and dedication to get it right, but any woman you learn to do it right for will appreciate you all the more for it. What applies to the penis applies to the vulva-- every one is different, requiring a different touch to make its owner happy. But few tools can equal the tongue for the amount of pleasure it can deliver to a happy vagina. This article assumes that you know what a vulva looks like and can identify with some precision the mons veneris, labia majora, clitoral hood, clitoris, labia minora, urethra, vagina, and perineum, to name them (approximately) from top to bottom. How fast should I go? This isn't an attack. Don't go after the clitoris like a fireman attacking a fire. Quite often at first, the clitoris is far too sensitive for direct stimulation. Lick around it, stimulating the hood, teasing her inner labia, tasting her. Take your time and listen to her. Some women make noise, and some do not. It will be a while before you learn exactly what your lover prefers as far as oral sex is concerned. Some women may like additional stimulation-- a finger or two into the vagina, or perhaps even the anus. She may want your hands to reach up and play with her breasts, or she may want your fingers to hold her labia apart so that your tongue can get at her vulva more directly. I've heard cunnilingus doesn't taste good. If the taste or smell bothers you or is a concern, ask her to wash first. Most people who enjoy cunnilingus agree that a clean vagina is a good, if acquired, taste. As a woman nears her climax, she may want more direct stimulation. In general, fast, rhythmic stimulation is most effective at causing climax-- but there shouldn't be a rush to get there. Take your time and learn to appreciate what you can do for her. What about cunnilingus during menstruation? Some people are particularly turned off at the suggestion of cunnilingus during menstruation. If it is a concern to you, then wait. A tampon may well hold the blood back, as will a diaphragm, but some men can't stand the taste anyway. If your partner is healthy, however, there is no particular danger in menstrual blood, and some women find that orgasms during their periods allievate cramps.