The Girls' Guide To The HOTTEST Sex Experience On The Planet! Posted February 1997 Women: Have you ever wished you could have- * The HOTTEST, most pleasurable, oral and vaginal sex imaginable? * Simple, PURE physical satisfaction with no strings attached? * Sex without AIDS or pregnancy fears? * The privacy of masturbation, but the satisfaction and stimulation of sex? * A truly HOT, nasty sex experience to share with your significant other? If you answered "yes" to any of these, then you should consider having sex with a DOG. Wait, don't laugh! I am VERY serious. I know it sounds gross, but you really don't know what you are missing until you've tried it. Thousands of women and girls worldwide agree with me (just read the animal sex newsgroups and web pages), and, by all indications, more women are discovering this secret every day. Women have been having sex with animals for centuries, and I wholeheartedly recommend it to any woman who wants to experience what is possibly the most intense and electrifying sexual experience there is. If you have a dog, chances are he is practically your best friend already. He is more loyal than any man, and loves you completely, unlike many men. He doesn't talk back or argue, and he's always there for you. Why not take it a step further and let him become your sexual lover? Male dogs are naturally horny practically all the time, so helping him relieve some sexual frustration is just a demonstration of your love for him (and a lot of fun for you)! Unlike men, dogs are almost always ready to have sex when you want to, they won't tell all their friends about your experience together (and who cares if they do?), they can't expose you to AIDS or other sexual diseases, and, perhaps best of all, they can't get you pregnant! I'm sure many of you are disgusted by this whole idea, and that's okay. You can just quit reading now and go on with your boring "normal" sex life. But if you want to learn something new, something that will make your present solo, heterosexual, or homosexual sex life take off to incredible new heights, then listen up. I am a 33-year-old middle-class female. I first had sexual contact with a dog when I was 14, and it continued off and on until I went to college. At the time, I always felt ashamed or weird and guilty, and that kind of ruined the experience. After I graduated from college and had my own place, I got another dog. One night, I came home drunk and horny and ended up messing around with Max the way I had with my other dog before I'd left home. Afterwards, the guilty feelings set in again, but I started thinking about it at another level. I've always been a frequent masturbator, and I'd come to realize that it is a woman's perfect right to please her body...there was nothing to feel guilty about acknowledging that I was sexual creature. Along the same lines, I realized that Max was also a sexual creature, only he didn't have any way to relieve himself the way humans do. Therefore, I could not think of any reason it would be wrong for me to please Max as well as myself...if he wanted to do it, how could it be wrong? I decided that if God didn't want us to do it, he wouldn't have made dogs so interested in sniffing and licking human females. Or he wouldn't have made Max interested in being stimulated by humans, either. I decided that it's my body, and my puppy, and I could do what I wanted as long as it didn't hurt either one of us and we both wanted to do it. Okay, enough about me, let's discuss how YOU can enjoy dog sex. There are four areas that I will cover in this guide: Getting started, Oral sex, Vaginal sex and Anal sex. GETTING STARTED If you are still reading this, chances are you are more than just a little bit curious about dogsex, but you're nervous. You worry that it might mean you are "going over the edge." Or that you could be hurt somehow by the experience. Well, it's okay to be nervous...this is a new experience unlike any you have had, and it is certainly not for everyone. Obviously, it is one of the more perverse things you can do. But, in many ways, that's why it's such a HOT thing to do...the nastier things are, the more some of us like them. Do you find that this is true for you and your sexuality? If so, then you should think about letting yourself go and just start to experiment with your Ruff Ruff. You don't have to dive in and have sex with him the first night. If you don't like it after trying the preliminaries, you can stop any time (unlike some asshole men, a dog won't try to FORCE you to keep going if you get him stimulated!). I've never seen a dog get overly aggressive or mean with a woman, so I don't think you should worry about that. Which breeds are best? Any non-neutered males will respond. (Some of the women I have corresponded with say that even some females and neutered males will enjoy licking you.) Males between 9 mos. five years old seem to be the most interested. Dogs with large penises are the best for vaginal and anal sex, but any male will be good for oral sex. Below is a table of comparative penis sizes that was posted in the newsgroups earlier. I think it is pretty accurate. Breed Useable Length Diameter (inches) (inches) Cocker Spaniel 2.0-3.0 0.5-1.0 Greyhound 2.5-3.0 0.5-1.0 Bulldog 2.5-5.0 1.0 Dalmatian. 3.0-4.5 1.0 Collie. 4.0-5.0 1.0 Labrador. 4.0-6.0 1.0 Irish Setter. 4.0-6.0 1.0 German Shepherd. 5.0-7.0 1.5 Great Dane. 5.0-7.0 1.5 Saint Bernard. 7.0-9.0 1.5-1.75 Mastiff. 7.0-8.0 1.5-1.75 I have tried Collies, Labs, Shepherds, and Great Danes. My favorite is the German Shepherd...they are large enough and pretty gentle. So, you have your dog, but how do you get him interested? I suggest that first you get yourself stimulated so that you are producing your natural scent and lubrication. Do this while snuggling with him on the bed or floor so that he can start to smell it. After a few minutes, start with him. Pull the sheath back from his cock and study his cock; get to know it's shape and size. Work the sheath back and forth over it until it expands a little and begins to stick out of the sheath on its own. (If you have the guts, give it a little suck with your lips!) Then gently take hold of the red shaft between your thumb and finger and move it back and forth. His penis should start to grow a lot then. Masturbate him basically like you would a guy. Once it is fully erect, he should be getting pretty horny. (One important thing to remember when handling a dog: While most men like to have their balls rubbed or this is not so with all dogs. I recommend avoiding his testicles altogether, at least at the start.) ORAL SEX Once he is horny, you should move so that your vagina is near his nose and he can get a good whiff of you. About half the dogs who are new at this will respond naturally right then. Dogs are naturally attracted to the scent of a woman's vagina, so many of you have already discovered that Rover likes to sniff your panties or even your crotch. Allowing him to take it a step further is an excellent way to experience some of the greatest oral sex you will ever have in your life! One of the nicest things about allowing a dog to lick your snatch is that most male dogs will spend much more time than a human male providing you with the most electrifying oral sex. A dogs tongue is also much longer and is able to get to many places that a man can't or won't. A dogs tongue is covered with thousands of tiny buds that when he licks your clitoris you will feel sensations that you did not know existed. And, how many of you have had a man give you analingus? Not many i'll bet. Well, I'm hear to tell you that having your ass licked is a great thing, and a dog has no problem doing it for you! If you have never experienced a tongue working from the very top of your slit all the way around to the end of your crack you have truly missed something grand. There are several very good positions for you to try if you want to try this. If you decide that your preference is clitoral/vaginal only I have found one position that works very well. I recommend that you sit on the edge of a bed so that the back of your calfs are flat against the edge of the bed. You then lay straight back picking your feet up and placing the on the edge of the bed. This will expose your clitoris, labia and vagina to his waiting tongue. For those of you who would like more but want to prevent him from trying to mount you then the ideal position is reclining on your side, on pillows or cushions, on the floor. All you have to do at that point is to raise your leg a little and he will have access to all of your pussy and ass. For those of you that want that ultimate experience you will have to give give him full and total access to you. This can only happen when you are down on all fours. Now I know that staying in that position for more than a few minutes is not comfortable at all but there is one way that I have found that will be both very comfortable and very enjoying. You kneel at the edge of your bed and then lie the upper part of you body face down onto the bed, keeping your knees on the floor. You then spread your knees apart as much as you dare giving him full access to you. One very important item to remember while you are considering what position you would like to use is that if you do not wish to have him mount you this is not the position to use. Now that we gone over all the wonderful things that a dog can do for you with his tongue, lets talk about what you can do with yours. According to several doctors and veterinarians I have spoken with, a dogs cock is three times cleaner that a man's cock. A dog will spend considerable time every day cleaning it, how many men do you know that do that? So, why not try it? I find that when I am sucking off a dog, I have a tremendous amount of mental stimulation that gets me horny as hell! Just knowing that I am sucking on an animal's dick will get me so horny, that it doesn't take much to get me off. I will usually use a free hand to masturbate while I am sucking him, and I have some of the greatest orgasms this way. Most male dogs will gladly allow you to suck them and there are many positions to do it in. I find that two positions are very good and are easy to accomplish. For those of you that are just starting out and are nervous about doing it I recommend that you have him lie on his back with you next to him. This will give you full access to his cock and be able to control all the action. Get him hard with your hand, then start to lick it. Finally, put the entire penis in your mouth and begin sucking, moving up and down on it like you would a man. Rover will be heaven by this point. While you are moving your mouth over his cock you should try to place the tip of you tongue into the indentation on the head of his cock as this will help him to reach his climax. A dog is different than most mammals as from the time they begin to become aroused until they begin to get soft they will have some form of ejaculate coming from their cocks. At first arousal there is a clear thin fluid that tastes like iron and has the consistency of water, this is his precum that is for lubrication so his knot will slip into the females vagina. At full arousal is when he actually will produce his sperm and you can tell when this happens as his cum will begin to have a slightly salty taste to it. You should be aware that his cum will never be as thick as a mans but he will produce about twice as much as a man. I personally think that dog cum tastes much better than man cum. As he gets closer to his climax you will notice that at the base of his cock there is a very large bulge known as his knot. This knot is used to hold his cock inside a female (dog or human) until he has finished ejaculating. If you are considering going further then you should make a mental note of the size of his cock and knot. The knot for a dog whose cock is 6 inches long and 1 and a half wide can be two inches long and 4 inches wide. My favorite position for performing oral sex on a dog is a subservient one. I lie on my back on the floor next to the couch, with the couch propping up my head, aided by pillows if necessary. Then Max "mounts" the couch, with his paws and upper body on the couch and his cock in my mouth. Then he just fucks my mouth while I use a vibrator in my pussy with one hand and my other hand rubs my clit. I have trained myself to cum about when he does. It is so HOT having hot doggie sperm shoot in your mouth as you cum, too! VAGINAL SEX. Good old screwing thats what this is all about, well not quite. There are a number of things that differ from sex with a man other than the dog can't get you pregnant. At this point I will assume that you have made the decision that you are going to have sexual intercourse with a large dog (75 pounds) and that you are there by yourself. I will be your companion and you may visualize me there. The first discussion is how are we going to do it. There are two prime positions to use, the old standard doggy style and the safer missionary style. (If you choose the missionary position, you can prevent him from getting his knot inside you and we can be in control the whole time.) Ok you want to try the missionary position, you are siting on the edge of a chair, a towel under you to prevent his and your cum from staining the chair, your ass at the very edge legs spread wide apart. Here comes your lover. He sees your warm and wet pussy and at once begins to sniff and lick it. You call him up to you so that he has his front paws on the chair his body between your legs. (I like to put some socks over his front paws so that he can't scratch me accidentally.) Then you take his sheath in hand and begin to stroke it gently and as he begins to swell and extend you guide the end of his cock into you. As he feels the wetness and warmth of you he begins to hump, slowly at first then faster and faster until you feel his knot at the mouth of your vagina. As his cum slowly fills you up you too reach climax. If you allow him to put his knot inside you YOU WILL be together until he gets soft which usually take 15 to 20 minutes but can take up to 45 minutes. The major benefit of the missionary position is that if you do not want to have his knot inside you you can, in almost all cases, prevent it by holding it in your hand. You can also push against his hind legs to both keep his knot out and control the rythmn. But I find that the most satisfying and arousing sensations I feel are caused by the knot being inside me. I try to have my dog put his knot in every time we make love, but whether or not you want to is up to you. I have found that having his knot inside pushes against the inside walls of my vagina in a truly unique way. It also pushes underneath my clitoris and that the sensations of that happening drive me wild. (However, not having the knot inside you can also be fun, as it bumps your clit with each thrust; that is, if your finger isn't working your clit already.) Doggy style is just that, you are down on all fours with him. This position will allow you to fully experience the pleasure of having a canine lover. He will at first sniff then lick you and after the tastes and smells begin to arouse him he will move to a position to mount you. A dog will usually come up directly behind you and mount you that way. Once he has mounted you he will begin to hump trying to get his cock into you, if this is something new to him then you should guide his cock to where it should go, he will do the rest. As the two of you continue he will move faster and faster with his strokes until you feel his knot begin to swell and rub at the lips. At this point we have decision time, If you want it inside you you should totally relax and allow him to slide it in. If you don't want it in you you should reach back with your hand and try to hold the knot with your hand. A simple note of warning, if you use this position and then decide that you don't want his knot in you you may not be able to prevent it from happening. If his knot is in you you WILL have to wait until he gets soft. I do not recommend you trying to remove it as unless your vagina is very large, it will hurt and may even injure you. So if you have any doubt's at all I would stick with the missionary position. Well we are now mated and as his knot continues to swell inside you you begin to feel this warm feeling inside you. A dog's body temperature is higher than a humans and his cum is even warmer, and as he cums deep inside you you can feel that warmth. His knot is now fully expanded, his cum is flowing into you, your juices mix with his and at this point you begin to feel his knot begin to throb. I have reached orgasm up to seven times in a row while this is happening. ANAL SEX In finding a good position for male canine/human female anal sex I have tried dozens of positions and found many that work and many that didn't. I have found that the best position is one called a modified doggy position. To get into that position you should first find an open space, very private of course, inside your house or wherever and place a soft pad on the floor for you to kneel on. You then kneel on the pad and get into a normal doggy position. To achieve the correct position you now bring your knees forward and tuck them up into your stomach. Now that you have done that you rest the front of your body on your elbows. Great you have mastered getting into the proper position, now there are some other things you have to do before you call to your lover. We have this little problem with lubrication that has to be solved with something otherwise this will really hurt. I have found that natural oils such as olive or corn oils work best and will not hurt your lover. NEVER NEVER use vaseline or the like as they will make the dog sick or even worse. Well now we know what lubrication we are going to use we must now apply it. It is not enough to just smear a little oil on the outside of your anus for this to work, you must lubricate both outside as well as inside. The easy part is the outside and I leave that until I am in position to do it. To lubricate the inside I use a large eyedropper, that will hold about an once or so of oil, to get the oil inside and when I have done that insert one finger to spread the oil over the muscle. Congratulations you are now ready, you have done your inside lubrication and are in the proper position and here comes your lover. You should now take your oil and rub some on your anus and the area around it. After he has mounted you you will probably have to guide him into you. Once he is inside he will hump just like with vaginal sex. The same precautions concerning his knot should be used here as well. I do not recommend those just starting out to try having him insert his knot. As there is not as much general stimulation with anal sex, you may want to gently masturbate while he is in you. There is one way to increase the stimulation and that is place a dildo or vibrator into your vagina. This will transmit his movement inside you to you clitoris and help you reach climax. I almost always do this and can safely say that the best orgasms I have ever experienced in my life were when doing this. Well, that's it. That's certainly enough info to get you started, but if you need to reach me, feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Guys: GET A LIFE! Do NOT email. I have a boyfriend already, and he's much better in bed than you could ever be. I won't send you any pictures, and I really don't care what you think! I will not answer you! And, if you're thinking about disguising yourself as a woman, I have a little test waiting for you that some lesbians in an AOL chat room gave me to scare off creepy little dweebs like you! Okay, girls, GOOD LUCK. Quit worrying, and get fucking! Take Care Jamie PS: Here are some other guides I downloaded awhile back that make for fun reading. A Woman's Guide To Canine Sex Zoofili, sexual intercourse with animals, has for a long time been a forbidden subject, considered 'sick', unethical and 'kinky' to name only a few classifications. With this text I would like to illuminate one of the kinds within animal sex, namely Canine sex, Dog sex as you would call it. The reason why I write this is to share my knowledge of this kind with other women, who have a similar interest, or who have considered having sex with dogs, but not dared to, or who have not known how to go about or who have not known it existed. HISTORY Zoofili isn't something newly invented, something our 'modern depraved human brains have fallen into', in fact it goes thousands of years back in time, believe it or not. Allready before the Hellas Empire (the Greek) there are legends of humans having intercourse with animals, or half animals. It's quite interesting to read those stories, as a woman, the male is played by an animal and the female by a human woman. Oftenly the texts are very detailed, and most of the times the women get pregnant, giving birth to gods, half- animals or humans with animal looks. Wether one should believe these stories or not, I don't know, but at least it shows us that even before our so called modern time there was some thought of animal intercourse. Whether it occured or not, we don't know for sure, but the thought isn't hard. With the increasing technology mankind left the fields for the cities, and by doing this we also left the farms, which has created a large gap between man and animals, so you could probably think that zoofili has decreased dramaticly, but it's not that simple. Moving to flats in highly populated areas has of course led to having only some pets in the homes, with this the closeness pet-human has increased, and many households have shown that pets, especially dogs, have become a part of the Eastern way of living, the dog has become almost a member of the family, sleeping, eating and beeing a part of the daily routine in a home. This has increased the chance for women to enjoy animal sex, most of the sexual relations has in fact started quite innocent. Some of the women I have met tells me that it started after looking at the dog doing his daily cleaning - that is licking himself and that they had started to fondle with his penis, others tell me their's started by accident when the dog was sexual active and sniffed between their legs, some say it started with the dog trying to hump their legs, as dogs can do when they seek sexual relieve. It's quite hard to give any accurate figures in sex with animals, it's after all taboo, but some reports like the German 'The Haffner Sex Report', from 1992, tells us that about 14% of the farmers on a regular basis practises sex with animals, this includes all kinds of animals found on the farm and of course even men included in the practicing of animal sex. The report also tells us that another 3% of the farmers have at some point 'fooled around' that is, masturbated the animal, played with its genitals etc. This German report based on several thousands of interviews also shows that about 2-3% of all women has at some point tried some kind of dog sex, most of these from populated areas. About 80% of these women have continued having dog sex on a regular basis. This I know from experience, that is if done correctly. Dog sex can be very stimulating, and if done the 'proper' way even more exciting than a 'normal' human to human intercourse. It's very easy to go on with animal sex, most women have fantasies about animal sex, to be taken by a wild animal, to enjoy it as much as the animal, to feel that specific animal lust within your- self. women thinking of animal sex might seem rare, but the truth is contrary. Psychological studies shows that more than 80% of all women has at some point fantisized or dreamt about begin taken by an animal, so it's merely a decision of actually doing it, and if you dare, you will be very happy you tried, believe me. INTRODUCTION Last but not least, I would like to introduce myself to you before we continue in this introduction to Canine Sex. My name is Anna, the rest I wish to keep unknown for the readers, due to the fact I'm a rather respected person in society. I have been a dog fanatic all my life, and I hope that my knowledge will make it easier for those who would like to try dog sex or allready have tried and want some hints to make it even more pleasing. I have been having sexual intercourse on a regular basis for almost 18 years, the first time was when I was pretty young, about 16, and unexperienced, but liking to experiment with my body. I had had 2 or 3 boys before that encounter, but they were as unexperienced as me, and I hadn't received any pleasure at all. Making love to my dog changed all that for me, it was in fact my dog who gave me my first orgasm, and it was a reel one. At the age of 23 I started a kennel club on the Italian Riviera, including breeding facility. The kennel is quite respected, mostly dealing with pure races or mixed ones of 'high quality'. During this time I have made love to hundreds of dogs, just enjoying to do it with different ones, but of course I have had my favourites. I have dog sex almost every day, and sometimes on weekends when the staff is away, and I'm alone with my husband, I let the dogs make love to me several times, just lying helpless, enjoying orgasm after orgasm. As I told you I like to make love to several dogs, and on weekends when the kennel is closed, I oftenly make love all day with my husband and 6-7 favourite dogs. We both enjoy it immensly, my husband isn't the jealous one, at least not when it comes to dogs making love to me, and he enjoys watching me receiving orgasm after orgasm. I have 2 small children, a boy and a girl, so on the exterior you might say my family look's like an 'ordinary' one. But you don't have to be different because you make love to dogs, the differenc is that you have discovered how more pleasing it is. I hope that what I hearby share with you will come to good use, and that you will enjoy dog sex, and the fantastic joy you can experience. In this guide I will cover cunnilingus, vaginal sex and last fellatio. Anal sex can be performed, but I find that you have to be very experienced with anal sex when you want to make love with a dog in that way, so I have decided not to cover that subject. CUNNILINGUS Cunnilingus is when someone (in this case dog) uses his tongue on the woman's genitals. Anyone who have experienced cunnilingus with a man, or a woman, knows that it is extremly pleasurable, however it's very tireing for the person who does it. The dog's tonuge is build completly different from a human. His tounge has big muscles wich he can use a longer time without getting tired. But what makes cunnilingus so much better with a dog is the construction of his tonuge, and the eagerness he oftenly does it with. The dog's tonuge is, as you probably know, quite big. Thin but broad and long, and very flexible. Anyone who has been licked by a dog (on hands etc.) knows that the surface of it is much rougher than a human's. To a male dog, cunnilingus is something natural to perform. As I told you earlier, many of the relations between woman and dog has started by accident. The female odour from her vagina reminds the male dog very much of the bithes'. Especially if the woman is having her period, during this time the vagina is giving out a specially strong odour. When it comes to dogs and mating procedure, that is the signal for the male dog. When a bitch is in heat it's genitals gets bloodfilled, swollen and gives out a higher amount of odour. The bitch will then, when given a chance, turn her back to the dog, to show the dog that she is ready to be mounted. The male dog will then oftenly sniff att her vagina and lick at it for some time. It's not known why dog's do this, but it's a reflex. After some time he will mount her. This procedure works the same at women. When a dog feels the scent he will approach you and start to sniff, after that he will try to lick you. It's good if the dog is very young and unexperienced, then you will be able to train him to lick you the way you want to, because when it comes to sex, the dogs are very quick learners. more about ages of dogs in the chapter about Basic Canine Sexual Understanding. There are several ways to let the dog perform his cunnilingus. The easiest, and the one that gives you most control, and also lets you see most of the act is when you lie on your back, the dog between your legs, on the ground or in bed. Oftenly the dog, if he is unexperienced in making love to women, is a little frustrated, he doesn't recognise this. It doesn't remind him of making love to a bitch. Therefore it's positive if you guide him with your hands by grabbing gently around his neck. Once he sniffs and starts licking you can let him go, he will remain down there all by himself. The feeling of getting licked by a dog is undescribable. The roughness of his tonuge touching your lips, his tongue massaging your clitoris.well you just have to experience that yourself. By parting your legs as much as possible, you will give your lover maximum access to your femeninity. And by parting your legs, your lips will also part, making the clitoris fully exposed to your lover's tongue. Doing this he will also try to insert his tongue inside you, seeking the source of your secretions and cum. All you have to do is to lean back and to let the expert on this do the job, enjoy! There are several ways to let him lick you which you can enjoy, another one is by putting a big pillow under your buttocks, by doing this you will give him more access to your love hole. The next one which I like to use most of the time is when I place myself with the back of my legs towards the bed, and then 'fall' backward on the bed, leaving my legs hanging down from the knees towards the floor. This position is very comfortable and gives your lover full access to your love cave. These possitions assure you that you have full access to what is happening, and that you are in control and can supervise the sex act which only intensifies the orgasms. At the same time the dog will not be able to mount you, even if he tries to. All you have to do if he tries and you don't want to is to close your legs. A more daring position to receive cunnilingus which is very pleasurable is when you stand 'doggie-style', that is on all four with the dog behind you. The reason why it's daring is that the dog will probably after some cunnilingus try to mount you, due to the fact that you reassemble to the more natural position he knows so familiar. If he tries to mount you it might be difficult to escape his eagerness, that is if you really don't want to 'go the entire way'. One way to 'escape' is to raise yourself up on your knees, making it impossible for him, but if he is heavy, you might be too weak to lift his front paws off the ground. This position is for the more experienced ones, that is, when you have had sex with your dog several times, and you know him better. This position is also very pleasurable. In this position you can part your legs quite much, giving him full access to your crack. The difference is that you will also give him access to your anal opening. When he then performs his licking technique on your vagina, he will also give your anal region lovely tickeling feelings. What is important is that your personal hygene has to be very good. You have to make sure that you have washed yourself before the act, especially around the anal region. The reason, well there are all kinds of bacterias around the anal opening, and his tounge will then spread them to your vagina. It's not too risky, since his tongue wont get deeper than a couple of centimeters, but you have to be very careful with washing yourself so that you don't receive any infection in your vagina. I should mention that the dogs mouth and tounge is very clean, as clean as a human's. So you can't get any infections from his tonuge at cunnilingus, it's only when he licks your anal region he might spread the bacterias to your vagina. The male dog will lick you for quite some time at cunnilingus bringing you off in an orgasm after another, his tonuge will lick inside all folds, seek deep inside your body for the juices your love cave produces, like no man has ever made. However, if you have a problem with him licking you, maybe he gets too eager and wants to mount you, or he looses interest after some time, there is a way to improve his cunnilingus. By applying some powder sugar from time to time on the opening of your pussy, he will get more eager about licking you, the double effect, caused by the sugar and your odour will drive both him and you crazy. This way he will not go as deep as earlier inside you, he will more lick your outsides. If you wish him to put his tonuge inside you, there is another trick. However this is quite 'messy'. Therefore it's good if you have a big towell under you and another one to dry you off from time to time, since your genitals will get all moisty, and dripping with his saliva. The trick is as follows: You apply some honey on your inner lips, around the clitoris, and then you try to insert some honey into your vagina. The deeper you get, the deeper he will seek for it with his tongue. The more you apply the longer will he be at it. To apply it in your body you can use your fingers or the ultimate way, a drop- bottle, for instance an eye-dropper-bottle or similar. By inserting it a couple of centimeters and letting a larger amount of honey enter you, the liquid will be in your vagina, spreading neatly. And when the tongue seeks for it, the honey will try to move out of the pressure inside your vagina, thus giving a constant pouring source, which will make your dog even more eager in licking you, and which will make it the most delightful orgasm you have ever received. By also applying some honey or sugar on your tighs, breasts, buttocks and belly, your dog will give you a lovely cleaning act in which he washes your entire body clean with his tongue, giving you great sensations. However it is very important that you don't do this too often, at the beginning of a relationship you can use this method to train him, the reason is that too much sugar and honey will cause your dog toth problems. BASIC CANINE SEXUAL UNDERSTANDING Having sex to a dog requires pretty much from the dog too. The first time dogs have sex they learn their 'male' part, and it's harder to change his way to act after he has learned his part once. Therefore, if you want the ultimate experience and life companion lover, then you should start with a puppet, or a dog about 12-18 months old without any earlier knowledge in sexual intercourse. Now I know that this is quite difficult to arrange, after all you'll have to use what you have. As a consolation I can assure you that training with the dog a couple of weeks oftenly improves the act. Although ultimate feeling, physically as well as mentally, is when a dog makes love to you, you don't have to go the whole way. although that is oftenly the highlight in the relation- ship. But for those who think of having intercourse I would like to say some things about the dogs' penises. Most think that the dogs penises are huge or extremly tiny, this is a normal missunderstanding. It's hard to give any accurate figures about the dogs' penis when at erection due to the fact that dogs have for a long time been mixed at breeding, creating new breeds, with completly new features, as well as size of penis. In this chart I have tried to give you as much of the truth about the dogs, I have oftenly referred to the 'clean-breeds' that is the more unmixed breed, but many dogs lack their ancestor's genes. Note: 1 inch = 2.5 cm As you can see, the size of the penis when it's erected, follows the size of the dog. The bigger the dog, the bigger the penis. And if you compare it with the human male penis, you find that several of the dogs have an average size equal to the human. When speaking of human penises the size is not so important they say, well I don't know if I can agree completly. Of course it's the technique and the passion that decides whether it feels good, but a thick penis feels even better than a thin, due to the fact that the friction towards the clitoris is higher, caused by the enlargement of the vagina. When it comes to dogs, the size looses almost all importance due to the way it's built. A dog's penis looks completly different, at first sight, if compared to a male human. Instead of having a foreskin like the human, it's entire shape is like the tip of the human male, that means reddish, and very sensitive to touches. The lack of foreskin, which has a function of protecting the sensitive tip of the human penis, is equaled by a 'coat' in which the entire penis withdraws when it's not erected. This coat is furry, and denotes at first look if it's a male or a female dog. The penis is much larger than the sheat is, and when erected it draws back, at the same time the penis pushes out and enlarges outside the sheat. The penis is also looking different in it's basic looks. Instead of having the so familiar and sensitive 'mushroom', like the human, it is pointy at the tip, then growing larger after 2-3 cm. As you read earlier, the entire penis is as sensitive as the human's tip. At the front of the penis the dog has a small hole from which he ejaculates, this looks a little different than a human penis, which has a crack, otherwise the function is the same, the size almost equivalent, but the pleasure can be even greater. The reason, well, the dog is one of few animals that have special 'features'. When a dog gets aroused his penis erects and leaves the protective sheat. Unlike a human the dog creates the sperm while his penis is erected, and he is aroused. Another thing that differs is that the dog's penis will 'cum' during the entire sex act, from the first moments of erection to the end of the intercourse, this makes the intercourse more pleasurable in many ways, which I will cover later. Another very interesting feature, is the one that makes the sex act extremly pleasurable, the knot. When a dog enters the bitch and starts his humping motion in her vagina, he also starts cumming instantly. But after some time, when the male dog reaches 'reel orgasm' then the base of his penis will swell. The male dog will then try to push this knot inside the bitche's vagina. Once inside he will not move any longer, instead he will keep a constant pressure to assure that the knot is really inside. During these seconds the knot will start swelling even more inside the vagina to such a size that it won't be able to extract. During this time the dog will start to ejaculate even more intensly inside the vagina. The knot's function will then be to keep the mating couple together for some time, which I will cover later. The reason is to ensure that the sperm is deposited deep inside the vagina and to increase the chance for insemination. Many women I have introduced to dog sex find that once performed, it's the knot that really attracts them to making love with the dog, and I do nothing but agree. Now I know that women who look at the erected penis might find it slimy and 'dirty'. The truth is it's more clean than a human's penis. The dog licks himself clean several times a day, now, how many times a week do you think a man washes his penis? 3,4 or maybe even 5? The slime, is actually not slime. The penis has a more 'rubber-like' material which makes it 'glancy'. Of course it's a little damp, but the wetness is secretion, and when erected it's mostly pre-cum. I suggest that a short sponge bath with warm sudsy water may be just the thing to get you over any feeling that your dog's penis is unclean. VAGINAL SEX Finally you have decided that you want to go the whole way with the love making, and I do nothing than congratulate. If you follow the advice given in this text, and you're a lucky dog owner, then you can experience one of few moments a woman can. However, dogs are a lot like men, the first time with a dog can be pretty frustrating. You might be unfamiliar with the dog's reactions, the dog might be too excited and you might be scared of the act afterwards. The first times it's just like making love to a teenage boy, too hot. in other words you might not enjoy it the first times, but training and practice will after a couple of times bring you off in fantastic orgasms, even better than an 'ordinary'-making would. Making love to a dog can be very simple, as simple as making love to a man, or even easier, since the dog wont have 'modes' of readiness, he will always be ready for you. However I recomend you to have these items handy when the itch starts, just to make your pleasure even greater and to make it good and unharmful for you. - 2 pairs of socks, (4 socks- small size), the socks you will put on your lover's paws to prevent them from scratching you. This is of course not needed in all positions, but in most you'd prefer to have the socks on his paws. - 1 big towell, for placing under you, (or him), so that sperm and your cum wont stain the bed, carpet, chairs, or whatever you decide to make love on. - 1 small towell or napkins, to dry your genitals from time to time and after the session. - 1 or several pillows to make it comfortable for you and to place your vagina in such an angle to his penis it's both easy and pleasurable for you and your canine lover. - (small table- optional, directions for a good table will be given later) Now it's time to start the session. By letting the dog lick you for some time, he will also get aroused from the act, since he recognises your vaginal odour. Thus his penis will erect. But if it's not fully erect you can help him get hard by massaging the sheat for some time until the tip of his penis appears. Then, by pulling the sheat forwards, and backwards, just like you would do on a man with his foreskin, you try to erect his entire penis. At the beginning it might take you some time to understand what kind of treatment your dog gets aroused from, but the dog's penis is very sensitive, so you wont have too much trouble getting your lover hard and ready for the joy. You wont have to think too much about lubrication. If you let the dog lick you for some time, that oftenly is enough, and as you already know the dog starts cumming almost instantly when his penis erects, at the beginning the spurts are very slow and the amount of liquid is very small, but the more aroused he gets the more liquid will he produce. It's important that you dont arouse your dog more than needed with your hands, because if he is unexperienced or it's the first time he makes love to you, he might reach his orgasm very early, and then I know that I would like him to be inside my body. Now being prepared to make him enter you, you should be aware of the fact that it will be quite 'messy' and you shouldn't be afraid of getting his semen in your body, in fact it's very hard not too when you want to make love to a dog. Therefore it's wise to have a big towell under you so that his cum wont stain any precious items. I should add that a dog's sperm CAN NOT get you pregnant! Therefore you don't have to be afraid of that problem. There are several positions in which you can make love to your dog, however the number of positions are fewer than making love to a man due to the fact your lover is 4-legged. Each position has an advantage, but it's good if you know something about all positions, which one gives the most pleasure, in which the penis enters you the deepest, in which your clitoris is mostly stimulated and the most important, in which position you are likely to end up in a 'tie' with the dog. Down here follows a few of the positions, these are the ones that work the best, but of course experimenting is the best way of finding out which position you enjoy the most. - Missionary position. The missionary position is probably the most used position thru time. In the missionary position the woman lies on her back and the man is above. The missionary position can also be used when making love to a dog, it gives the woman a chance to supervise the entire session and to see the entire process. The missionary position can be performed in bed or on the floor. If the dog is a big one, it's good if you have 1 or more pillows, the big 'hard' model is preferable, which can be placed under your body. By placing them under your buttocks, the lower part of your body will be in such an angle that the penis can be inserted easily into your vagina. When in position you guide your lover's penis, to make it easier for him to enter you, and when he is inside you just try to relax. The lubricating semen of his will make it extremly easy, and within a few seconds he will start to make the so familiar 'humping' motions. What is interesting and enjoyable is that the rythm is pretty fast and the session is very wet. The time the dog will hump depends very much on the dog and his experience. The first times for a dog can be very fast, in some cases less than a minute, in more trained dogs over 4-5 minutes, but don't be frustrated if the dog doesn't hump for more than 2 minutes or so, he will learn to keep up with it for a longer time by training with him often. During the entire session the dog will cum inside you, lubricating the walls of your vagina. But when a dog approaches 'reel' orgasm his penis will start to swell even more, especially the base of his erection. Now this is the moment to decide whether you should let him cum inside you and to let him get in a tie with you or not. If you don't want to then you try to push him away by grabbing gently around the base of his penis, however it's the tie that makes it extremly pleasurable, and by not coming in a tie with your lover, you wont get the ultimate feeling. If you let him keep humping you his penis will swell even more, and suddenly he will stop with his entire shaft inside you, at the same time you will feel how warm semen spurts inside you, his penis pulsing. The amount of semen in each jet is increased, and the waterish and tranparent appereance of it is changed into a more whitish liquid which reminds very much of human sperm. Just a few seconds later his penis reaches such a size that the base of it will be up to 3 times the diameter. You might think it will hurt immensly, this is however not true. The base of the penis that has swollen to such a size is located just inside the vagina, and the reason why it doesn't hurt is that the vaginal opening isn't stretched. The knot will be in your vagina where it's very flexible, instead of feeling pain you will feel your body filled in a very pleasurable way. A dog's body temperature is very much higher than a human's, therefore you will feel his warm seed spurting deep inside the vagina, and due to the pressure caused by his enlarged penis, it will soon spread in your entire vagina, however nothing will leak, due to the knot. During a minute or two you will feel his penis swell even more, and you will probably panic at some point when you think that he will swell to such a size he will trash you. but that's not so. The vagina is very flexible, don't forget that it's built in such a way it can accomodate a babies head and body if needed to, but it's not needed to when making love with a dog. The enlargement comes slowly and the vagina accomodates to the size easily. During the tie the dog might start to lick your face, the reason a dog does this is to show his appreciation, to show his mate he is thankful that he has been chosen to make her pregnant. What is important to give a thought to before you end up in a tie is that you don't really know how long you will be in a tie with the dog. 'Normal' time for being in a tie is about 5-15 minutes. However it's not rare you find dogs end up in a tie over 30-45 minutes, especially the bigger dogs. I can give you an example, with a lover I have been in a tie for about 4-5 minutes which is the shortest, but with the same dog I have been in a tie for over one hour. Therefore you should be calm and have more free time than you would when making love to a man. This is the main difference in the sex act between a man and a dog. A dog wont leave you after he cums, instead he will remain hard inside you, cumming all the time he is in you. NOTE: that when you end up in a tie with the dog, don't try to use force to pull out his penis. This can be painful for you and can hurt the dog for life. Therefore it's important you don't have to suddenly go to the kitchen to take something out of the owen or similar. When the knot has swollen in such a size it reaches it's maximum your vagina will probably be full of his seed, and there is more to cum. A dog produces about 2-6 times the amount of sperm a man does! But after all that's not the thing that will bring you off. The missionary position will give you a maximum of clitorial stimulation. But you will also get stimulation of your clitoris and breasts by his fur, and it feels extremly exciting having his humping body in contact with your naked skin. If you don't get yourself off before the tie (the thing I like to do is to time my orgasm with the tie), you have plenty of chance during the tie. Due to the knot just inside your vaginal opening your labia will pout out, making the clitoris protruding very much from between the vaginal lips. This gives you an excellent chance to masturbate. It oftenly doesn't take more than a few touches due to the fact his knot is pulsing inside you, stimulating the clitoris from inside. It's during these moments you can, if you're lucky, receive something called Multiple Orgasms. This is something only women can receive, not men. During multiple orgasm, your body will be flooded by an orgasm after another, your vagina twitching and squeezing your lover's penis uncontrollably for several minutes, leaving your body in a state of frenzy! This is the ultimate feeling a woman can receive from a penis and only 10% of all women will receive this ultimate feeling when making love to man. Now I know from experience that that chance is increased immensly when making love to a dog, due to the presecne of his penis, and the fabulous knot inside, which gives unmerciful stimulation during the entire tie. During the later part of the tie you will feel your lover's penis start to get smaller, and you will also feel that his spurts aren't as powerful as earlier. The liquid will also consist of less sperm and a more clinging substance. The reason of this is to 'close' the entrance to your womb, to create something like a plug to hold the sperm that has entered in your womb inside it. This plug has the function of assuring that a high amount of the dog's sperm will remain inside the womb and to make a pregnancy possible. However, you can't get pregnant, but you can enjoy the new sensation and the knowledge that your womb and vagina is filled with doggie sperm. When the dog finally pulls out his penis a lot of the sperm he has deposited in your pussy will gush out, therefore it's wise to have a small towell or napkins to dry yourself. You might think that the sex act is ended by him pulling out, but you are probably wrong. If your dog is a 'well-behaved' dog he will do something that will astound you. When two dogs have had sex together the male will start a licking session of the bitche's cunt, the reason is that this gives a signal to the bitch that the intercourse is ended. And by doing this the male dog starts the bitche's aftermating reflex. This makes the vaginal muscle to close even tighter, and to hold as much sperm as possible inside the vagina, but also to create a plug at the entrence of the vagina. When the dog has pulled out of you, he will then try to lick you, encourage him if he doesn't, the sensation of his tongue touching your used vagina, cleaning up the sperm coated entrance is like a balsam effect. He will be at it until no more sperm comes out, and if you want him to continue all you have to do is to squeeze with your vaginal muscles, like you would do when you want to stop peeing. This will make the muscles contract, letting even more sperm from your vagina pour out to your great sensation. Only know the intercourse is complete! I hope you enjoyed it! - 'Doggie-style'. This position means that you are standing on all four, or even lying on your stomach if the dog is a little one. However this doesn't give you as much stimulation as the missionary and it doesn't give you too much control either. For instance it's difficult not to end up in a tie in this position since you wont be able to stop him from doing it. But this is the closest you will get to reminding the dog of a female dog, which oftenly makes it easier for the dog to coop with. - 'Riding'. The riding position is good when having a smaller or middle sized dog. However it can be difficult to perform if the dog is very eager. Normally a dog doesn't like to be on his back, since he feels very vulnerable. Therefore this is for dogs who have been trained in the other positions. But if the dog can handle the riding position then the you will be able to decide the rhytm, speed and even if you want the knot inside you or not when you approach a tie with your lover. FELLATIO Fellatio, cocksucking, as you would call it, isn't something all women would agree of doing. About 25% of all women performs fellatio on their lover, but performing fellatio on a dog seems to be something else. Me myself, I don't see any bigger difference between a human or a canine penis. It can be very stimulating to feel a dog's penis in your mouth, to see it so close, to feel his seed spurt continously. A dog's sperm is very similar to a human's. The first drops taste like the human precum, that is very salty. But when a dog approaches orgasm his semen starts to change it's ingredients into a higher consistency of sperm. With this change the taste changes as well into a more spicy taste. When the orgasm seizes in it's intensity the seed gets more 'oily', and the taste less bitter. It's hard not to get sperm in your mouth when performing fellatio on your dog lover, since he cums all the time during erection. Therefore it might be good if you have a towell or paper napkin close so that you can clean it up if you don't want to swollow it. For those who have not swallowed sperm I should mention that canine as well as human sperm is very rich in protein, and that you shouldn't be afraid of swallowing it. I know some women don't like the taste of it, but that's something you get used to, so that after a while you even come to enjoy the honey liquid your lover produces for you. Performing fellatio is something of an experiment, to see what the dog likes, each dog has it's own ego and is very different when it comes to sex. But I should mention that massaging his testecles is not recommended, since a dog finds that scary! What your lover might enjoy is when you let the tip of your tonuge play on the tip of his pointy penis, especially if you try to tickle the hole of his tip. A dog doesn't enjoy the suction as well as a human would, he enjoys more the humping style, and when he comes and his knot swells it's good if you hold a hand behind his knot steadily since that's the sign for him that he is in the vagina. If you let go of the knot he might hump in your mouth, making you gag. Fellatio is something that you have to enjoy to make without feeling that you are pushed into doing it by somebody. It's something you have to feel like doing. AT LAST Canine Sex can, as I told you earlier, be very enjoyable if performed 'correctly'. There are a lot of women out there who have tried canine sex, and who perform it on a regular basis, with that I mean from once a week to several times a day. I hope that this text has illuminated the subject which has been taboo for such a long time, and I hope that you women who perform dog sex, who have wanted to try, or who haven't even thought of it might find this text worthy reading. I have a lot of experiences in making love to dogs. As I told you I have been making love with dogs for a long time, and I have learned much about sex by doing this. The early teenage relations with dogs I have had, has increased the sexual drive for me enormously, and I have also started to enjoy sex with men more than earlier. Dog sex is something every woman can enjoy who have a dog or is close to a dog for some time. Anyone from the outbored housewife to the teenage girls who are too afraid of going out with boys, risking pregnancy or venerial diseases. For these dog sex is the ultimate sexual relationship, the dog won't tell anybody, and it will enjoy it as much as you do. The final guide: Dogs are the greatest sex-toy invented, for both men and women. They are ALWAYS horny, and get really enthusiastic about sex. A dogs penis mostly stays hidden in his sheath, so get your dog used to you pulling his sheath back, exposing his dick. A dogs penis is very different from a human penis in shape. I'll give dimensions for Hamlet (my Great Dane). When the dog is fully sexually aroused, the tip of the penis is tapered to a point, with a small, round hole in the end. The taper widens sharply to a diameter of about an inch, then the shaft is about 4 inches long. This meets a swelling of flesh of almost 3 inches in diameter. This is his knot. Then there is a further inch or so of shaft, before it joins the flesh at his groin. Take a deep breath here, that is about 8 inches of dog-flesh! The entire length is more sensitive than the glans of a mans penis. At full arousal, the knot can either be hidden in the sheath, which stretches around it, or outside, with the sheath pulled right back. If it is fully exposed, you will have to wait for the swelling to recede before you can pull the sheath back down. Masturbation. Jerking your dog off. Great! They love it; never seem to get enough (although, by the gods of Gorgonzola, I do my best to give them enough!). Get naked. Heaps more fun. Caress your dog all over his body, around his rump, and over his balls. Tease him a bit. You can tell when they are REALLY turned on, they will butt their heads into your groin if you stop. When you and he are ready, kneel beside him (if you are right handed, kneel on his left side) facing slightly toward his rear. With your left hand, keep caressing him, scratching his head, back and chest. Reach under his belly with your right hand, and between his rear legs. Start by stroking his sheath, then actually hold it with your whole hand and pull it forward and backward along his dick. When he starts swelling, follow the contours of his knot inside his sheath with your fingers opening and closing as they pass over it. Do not touch the sensitive flesh at this stage, or he'll go soft on you, he won't enjoy it. He will probably be humping his hips as you are rubbing him now, and you can increase your tempo to match his. While his knot is covered by the sheath, you can squeeze it quite hard, and pull on it quite strongly; it will increase the intensity of his orgasm. By now he should be squirting dog cum quite freely. It is almost clear for the first few squirts, and pales to a milky colour later. Keep you fist closed around his knot, and undulate your fingers. Perfect the technique that your dog likes best. He will probably reach his head around and lick his penis while he's cumming. They like the taste of their own cum, and the feel of their tongues on their dicks. At this point, you can sustain his pleasure, and increase your own by lightly tweaking the tip of his dick with the fingers of your left hand. Keep your other hand clasped around his sheath. You will be rewarded with a volley of fresh squirts of cum. At this stage, I often lick the tip with my tongue, or downright suck on his dick, and drink his cum. NO TEETH!! Don't even touch that sensitive flesh with your teeth! Don't be afraid to swallow the dog-cum. It tastes slightly salty, and goes down the throat a lot easier than human cum. Highly recommended. When his orgasm is starting to wane, he will probably just wander off, head down, dick hanging between his knees. Girls, dogs love to mount people, and they are passionate, fiery lovers. Get naked. Play with your dog, and get him excited, and aroused. Let him lick your vagina, as that seems to act as a great stimulant for you both. For missionary style, sit on the edge of the bed, feet on the floor. Now pat your shoulders and invite your dog to put his paws up there. When he does, lie back, and he will walk his back feet forward between you legs until he is laying on your stomach, with his sheath right over your entrance. Lift your left leg and wrap it over his rump to pull him forward, as you use your right hand to guide his penis into your vagina. It helps to have a partner assisting here. It is easiest for the dog if you keep the tips of your fingers clasping his sheath as a guide when he starts humping into you; it helps stop him pulling out too far. Caution:- if your dog is one of the Giant Breeds, DON'T try to 'tie' with him. When dogs are mating, the knot at the base of their penis swells and lodges inside the bitch, and they get stuck together for up to half an hour, unable to separate. Part of natures delightful way of increasing the chance of impregnation. If you are unable to accommodate a swelling of flesh almost as large as a tennis ball, you may get badly injured (try explaining THAT away at the Accident and Emergency department of the local Hospital!). Seriously though, if he swells inside you, and you aren't able to accommodate him, you will be stuck, in extreme pain, for up to half an hour. If you are unsure, buy a sex toy of similar dimensions as your dogs dick, and practise on that. When it becomes natural and pleasurable, by all means, tie with your dog. Heather has told me that being tied to Hamlet is both erotic, and very fulfilling. He will cum inside you, and that is quite erotic, and you cannot get pregnant from a dog. Go for it, and good luck! Letting your dog mount you 'doggy style' is quite natural for the dog, and satisfying too. As above, play with him, get him excited, and then just bend over. For smaller breeds (German Shepherd, Labrador etc) you will probably have to kneel. Pat your back, and rump, inviting him to mount. He will place his paws on your back. Just bend right over, and he will slide forward and enter you almost effortlessly. It is likely you now have long, red scratches down your back from his claws. Oh well, just say you have a passionate lover! Again, reach around and guide his dick with your hand. He will hump quite enthusiastically, so will need some guidance, and restraint. If he does tie to you, he may want to step off you, and turn away, so you are rump to rump, with him still tied into you. This is natural, as it is how they mate normally with bitches. A variation for both men and woman is to have your dog lie on his back on the bed. Straddle him with your knees, facing forward, and lower yourself onto his penis. You can reach around and scratch his balls while you are riding him, or bend forward and let him lick your face. Both are good fun. A couple of extra points about male dogs:- it is more pleasant sucking on their dicks after they have a bath. It is quite natural for a male dog to have a build-up of a mixture of body fluids, dead skin, and general scum inside their sheath. It probably won't kill you, but the thought of it in my mouth makes me feel queasy, so a quick cleaning session is called for. Dogs are great partners in threesomes (in any combinations of humans and dogs). Experiment, have fun. Spend some time during your love-making with your doggy partner to praise them, and re- assure them. Fondle them, cuddle them, and generally treat them like an equal. They are giving the gift of their love to you too, so don't take them for granted. Afterward, lie with them, hug them, talk softly to them. If you own a dog, and don't have sex with them, think on this; Dogs love sex. They enjoy the sensations of orgasm, and unless you help them to achieve it, cannot achieve it themselves. Think on how frustrated you would be if you couldn't even masturbate yourself when you were horny. As a dog owner, you have taken the animal from his natural habitat where he would mate at every opportunity if he could, and put him in an environment where sex just isn't available. If you love your dog, you should extend the gift of sexual release toward him or her. It will deepen their love for you, and your love for them. I'm not asking you to engage in wild sexual odysseys with your dog (I can highly recommend it as fun, though!!), but at least you could jerk off your male dog, or rub the clitoris of your bitch to relieve them. It isn't unhealthy, it isn't sick, it isn't even perverted (I mean, animal breeders do it for a living). It is love.