Date: Wed, 24 Jan 2007 18:23:37 -0500 (EST) From: high5fiveme (at) lycos (dot) com Subject: first and last real friend chapter two I am going to continue with this because I got some good responses. You don't need to respond but go ahead if you want to. I have decided that I will finish this because I want to do it. If you think this sucks and my writing sucks, I dont care because I have already had enough responses to know someone likes it and, you know, I think I am writing for myself anyway to release what I think life is really all about. If you are underage, you arent supposed to read this because maybe its happened to you, and I guarantee it has happened to someone else. So dont read this because you will find out that others have had the same thoughts as you do. And that would mean that you and all the others who think like you do are thinking like that and that is why you might be thinking it because "it just happens." So go away and read Hardy Boys because no one wants you to find out that what you think might be thought by someone else. And no one wants you to ever think thoughts like this if you haven't already. And if it has alreay happened that you thinks thoughts like this, stop thinking them in the future because it is not what culture wants you to do. I hope this makes sense because it makes absolutely none to me. chapter one ending: Boing!!! Its up again. Time to start the sleepovers with this beautiful kid. I guess time had healed my trauma and I was ready to start preparing for puberty. Bring it on and give me that exquisite feeling. The feeling that relaxes you after a hard days work. The feeling that bonds you with the person who presumeable gives it to you. Give me dopamine or give me death was my battle cry after seeing Tom. Ok....ok....I didnt really learn that word for another thirty years but if I had known it I would have yelled it out! I was a kid who knew what he wanted and how to get it and besides I always wanted to be a psychiatrist. Chapter two: First and last real friend continued... So, now, here I am in this predicament. First day in sixth grade and I get seated next to this absolutely gorgeous boy....Tommy. My life had been in a sexually celebate daze for two years since the tauma of discovering my orgasm and then denying it. But now "The Awakening" had happened. I had no clue but something in my hormones or in my brain just hit me. I was hopelessly infatuated with this kid. I've got designs on the cutest boy in class. He sits next to me in Mrs. King's class. She was clueless, I hoped, because she was so old. How could the teacher know how I felt. How could the other kids have any clue how I felt towards Tommy. Was the goal of my life now to be teacher's pet and make all "A's" or was it to make friends with Tommy. Something in my hormonal structure without me knowing it made me refocus and go for the latter. Tommy lived only three blocks away as it turned out. He had for a year or so lived there, but for some reason I had never noticed him. It was strange how you grow up territorially staying within your neighborhood as small as it may have been. I had only as a friend the next door neighbor: Jerry...the little fat kid whom I played with but couldn't be friends with at school because no one liked him. My god what an asshole I was because I had actually told him that we could only be friends after school and not at school because no one liked him, and if I was a friend at school with him, no one would like me either. My cruelty in this case haunts me to this day. Also, Jerry would have been a great jack off buddie, but we never got into it cause we were so naive. He tried to talk about sexual things, but I never would listen still worried about my earlier experience with the vibrator. I have some consolence by the fact that I know he used to watch me through my open window at night jack off once I started that activity, and also he once mentioned, he had seen me and Tommy together. At least I can say knowing what I know now that his voyeurism gave him some pleasure even though I had been so cruel. The cruelty being further compounded by his acceptance of my rules of friendship. But now that I had discovered this new friend only blocks away and now that this friend gave me something more than just playing games, I had to figure how to work out the relationship. I knew that getting Tommy as a freind was going to be a lot harder than Jerry was because he may not want to be my friend. What if he didn't want me or would be embarassed having me as a friend at school? I had to conjure up all my intelligence and coniving abilities to get this kid: Tommy must become my friend. I was not the most beautiful of kids. I had a well repaired cleft lip unbeknownest to me psychologically. But it was obvious and had driven the girls off early in my life which was a blessing for me as I realized later. But not being a perfect child, I needed to find something else to get Tommy to come be with me. No problem for an outgoing aggressive kid. Afterall, I was teacher's pet immediately. I flirted with Mrs. King and answered all the questions faster than anyone else and showed off my brain every chance I could. Would I have rather showed off my cock to Tommy...hell yeah....In fact, I used to do that to the boys before my vibrator attacked me. Brains are pretty worthless at that age. Later they can get you cars and houses which help get the guys. But for now, my brains would have to be used towards plotting, coniving, flirting and basically planning the ever present male battle on how to get laid. What is amazing was I was going for that without even knowing what it was. Regardless of my one little imperfection, I was an ok looking blond. No idea how tall I was at that age but the same size as Tommy. But I was no match for his beauty. The beauty that only a blond Arian could have. Oh boy, how german is that!. Well he was german with a little English in him to give him the cherub cheeks. I was Irish and German. And if you wanta know how the fetish works: well, if you parade a blond guy in front of me to this day, I will turn around and follow like a puppy dog after him. He is my master. I am puddy in a blond guy's hands. Suck me! Spank me! Roll over and play dead...Ok whatever you say! It has taken some work to accept different fetishes as I grew older. There was one other cute boy in class named John. He was an athlete. I thought he was cute but he was a brunette! I was afraid that Tommy might hook up with him instead of me, but he seemed to talk at recess with this other big kid who was quite pudgey. His name was Ronnie and he was a little feminine acting. You know, he had that kinda sweet way of talking and walked very gently even though he was huge. As we would play dodge ball or sports he would have that sort of girly way of throwing. And I swear as he ran, he seemed to run with a sort of swish to the left and right. It was hard for him to finish anything but last because of the distance he had to run. I was consoled seeing Tom hanging out with Ronnie instead of John who had his ugly but athletic group. Surely, I had a chance over Ronnie with Tom since I was second fastest in the class, class brain in math and soon to be teachers pet I was sure. So my only adjustment was I had to groom myself a little more and then figure out how to get him to like me. At first, I was chicken to approach Tommy on the playground and break into his relationship with Ronnie. So my encounters were in the classroom only. I would try to help him with a couple of problems when we were doing math. He seemed to appreciate the help but the brain thing was more a brain drain than getting me anywhere. Also, we were separated pretty quickly as we would get caught talking during quiet time and our laughing while Mrs. King played "the girls or boys get to go first thingy" that teachers used to quiet us didn't endear us with the other boys either. It was probably best Tom got put somewhere else in the room because I might never have gotten anything done since I would sit and stare at him and get a hardon which is always a distraction from work. At home that first couple of weeks, I would notice that if I talked about Tommy and made a mental picture of him while reviewing my days fun with next door Jerry, I would get a hardon. Jerry was in another classroom this year and needed my telling him how much fun I had at school since the day was always a misery for him. How strange this whole thing was. I really couldn't let Jerry know I was fetishing Tommy or was hard, but I felt compelled to talk in secret ways about about this boy at school I wanted to get to know. I found I could get rid of my hardon and the spacey feeling by playing a game with Jerry. Nothing about looking at or being around Jerry got me hard at all. However, at night all alone in my bed I could think about Tommy uninterrupted in bed. And if I was on my stomach, I could think about Tommy and rub my dick against the bed and the sensation would be incredible. For some reason, if I did this rubbing of my dick while thinking of Tommy, I didnt have the fear that I had from my traumatic experience of two years ago. In fact, the whole experience now seemed to be something desireable and somehow Tommy seemed to be linked to it. A few weeks passed and I finally found an opportunity to approach Tommy on the playground where all true relationships began. It was on the jungle gym which was a domed shaped, strong steel device with lots of rungs and places to step. The game to play was tag where you had to be on the same rung as the other person to tag him and make him "it." I dont know how many kids were on the jungle gym but when I became "it," I know I just chased Tommy and no one else to get to touch him. Finally, I got him even though he was very hard to catch since he was very athletic as well as beautiful. The great thing was he went after me in return and ignored the others. After a couple of exchanges and a few complaints from the others who weren't getting chased including Ronnie who was there, too, but whom I ignored, the bell rang. Tom got down and straightened everything up because he had to be in good shape all the time with all the clothes neat. He, of course, carried a comb which he took out and combed his hair. Why he did it, I dont know because I rarely looked into the mirror or had any reason to look so good. Clean clothes was all I needed and my mom always took care of that. I started inside but Tommy came up next to me and put his arm around my shoulder and said that was fun. He then quickly asked "Do you wanta come over after school and play." Oh my god, I dont know what happened. Here I was the aggressive person, and Tommy had put his arm around me which was the ultimate in friendship among boys in my days. It meant, hey I like you and its ok if we touch each other and play together, hang out together, spend the rest of our lives together! Well, maybe not quite the latter was meant, but that is the way I wanted it. How had this happened? I was doing all the planning and scouting of him and he made the first move? I don't even remember what I said. I think I blacked out. I dont remember anything about that day unless that day was the day I spent the night at his house. I am sure I must have gone home and asked my mom if I could go over to his house and if it was a Friday, probably his mom called mine and said I could stay for dinner and spend the night. What we did and the games we played and what we talked about that first time, I have no recollection of, but boy I do remember what happened when we went to bed. Tommy's room was upstairs totally isolated from the rest of the house. You would walk up the stairs and at the top of the stairs was a door. Hearing anyone coming was easy because the stairs were wooden and there was no way for an adult to sneak up on the room without being heard. The door had a lock on it, too, and it was standard in those days for a boy to lock his room for some reason when you had friends over. Even though parents were strict in those days, you always had your privacy behind close doors. A boy's room was his, and he could do whatever he wanted in it. You didn't even have to keep it clean, but Tom's room was immaculate just as his dress was impeccable. I don't know how long we had been in his room or what games we played because I was still in a daze but woke up quickly and memory started working again when we got ready for bed. For some reason most boys seemed to have double beds in those days. I am not sure if the queen had been invented yet. Tommy's bed came into full focus in my mind the minute I dropped my jeans to prepare for bed. We all slept in our underwear which was exclusively tighty whities as they say today. I know that Tommy was the first to take off his shirt in front of his big dresser mirror. He loved to look at himself in the mirror which was fine with me because as soon as we started to undress and my mind woke out of the stupor, I could feel that feeling in my groin, and I was hard as a rock which I didn't want Tom to see when I took off my pants. He then dropped his pants and was down to his undies. I too dropped mine but headed towards his bed. Tommy hesitated and looked at himself some more and combed his hair. My god he had curly hair and it was beautiful; why did he have to comb it? Just get in bed boy! It was still warm weather at night and the heat from the house came up into the upstairs. Just a white sheet was all that was needed to cover us and we had the one window open to let out the warm air. The window airconditioner was on the other side of the room in the other window, but that was not needed on this night. Finally, after grooming and checking out how his underwear looked on himself, Tom came and jumped in bed next to me. I was lying on my stomach pretending that I was falling asleep because that's what you are supposed to be in bed for and lying on my stomach served two purposes: the most obvious was to hide my dick's erection and the other was I could sneak peaks at Tom in his underwear standing in front of the mirror and get these feelings from my dick by rubbing it ever so slightly against he bed. Tom was not hard or else had a really small dick, and I couldnt tell. When he jumped in bed, he immediately snuggled up next to me which sent an absolute shock through my system. He asked "Are you tired?" I said "No not really." So he suggested "Why dont we give each other a back rub and that will relax us." How the hell was that gonna relax me? I was already shooting with these feelings and my mind seemed so alive. If he touched me, I was sure it was gonna get worse. I said, though, "Sure!" I hadn't a chance to raise my arm and take the aggressive movement towards his back when he put his hand on my back and began to rub sofly with one hand up and down my back. Of course, I couldnt rub my dick against the bed now, but it wasn't necessary because I just shut my eyes and pictured him doing this to me and it served the same purpose. He did it for a minute or so and said "Ok. Its your turn." Boy how much I wanted to do that even though I was enjoying the touch of his hand; for some reason, rubbing him was going to be something I seemed to want to do more than having it done to me. I reached over and and rubbed his back ever so gently trying not to make it a tickle but to give him and me a sensation to remember. My mind shot with wanting to ask to do more. How could I get him to turn over or how could I touch his butt or anything more. My dick was throbbing it seemed as I rubbed his soft back. So I just went down and rubbed his legs without asking and hoping I didnt get in trouble. Instead he said "That feels really good." and he spread his legs. I now had some control over the situation and continued the leg massage and rubbed between his legs just a little and as close to his underwear as possible. Then back up to his back and again came down to the elastic of his underwear wondering how I could get my hand on his butt. It was all so soft and my state of relaxation was hitting me more and more having been firing all that dopamine in my brain projecting my love on this boy, I guess I must have had some kind of orgasm sending in the serotonin to calm this process down because I began to feel exhausted. Tom went "My turn!" Which words brought me back to earth from wherever my brain firings had taken me. He then rubbed me in exactly in the same manner and in the same places as I had done. So now I knew I was safe to venture out to unknown places and see what happens, but you know after this second massage I was finished and so did Tommy seem to be. Without saying a word, I just turned my head and fell asleep. I'm afraid I reacted as one does with a woman after you cum much to their dismay. But, dammit, this was the beginning for me to find the way I could put myself to sleep for the many years to follow. It was a nice way and better than sleeping pills, I guess. And I heard no complaint from Tommy because I assume the same happened to him that night. It would be some time though before I figured the whole thing out and what I was really doing. What's amazing, though, is Tommy was seemingly going to be my teacher. Hope this is somewhat enjoyable and a little erotic in places. If it brings back your own memories maybe that alone is good. I will continue to write and try to finish this experience of these two boys.