Date: Wed, 21 Feb 2007 22:18:40 -0800 (PST) From: Brandon Hamilton <email@example.com> Subject: Derek's Confession This is my first story submission. I had fun writing it and welcome comments. Maybe it will be part of a series, I'm not sure. I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Copyright 2007 by Brandon James. All rights reserved. This story contains graphic sexual content between two brothers. If this sort of thing bothers you, don't read it. Derek's Confession My brother and I never did anything when we were younger. I never saw him naked past adolescence. He never invited me into his room to show me his stash of porn in the hopes I'd suck him off. None of that fantasy shit. But when he asked me to come and visit him while his family was away, there was something in his voice that made me listen closer. "Come on, bro. When's the last time we were able to hang out like real brothers?" I mean, we were close growing up--as close as boys are. Our parents split when we were nine and ten or so. Leaving us to stick it out together. I was as obsessed with him as any little brother would be. And it didn't change when we got older. High school, I showed him off whenever I could. Tried to hook him up with hot girls from my classes. And my senior year, he let me crash in the frat house. And through all that, I don't think I knew how bad I wanted him. I mean, I knew I was gay, but I didn't know that the one guy I was waiting for was the guy I shared the guest bed with each Christmas. That is, until he got married. Then it was always him and Wendy. "Wendy has to wake up early." "Maybe tomorrow night. Wendy and I are going to make it an early night." At first I got it. I mean, of course he should be hitting it when he's got the chance. I'm gay, but I still know what that's gotta be like. Which is why when he started pulling me aside to complain how little he was getting since they were married, how the baby cries all night and Wendy refuses... It's just that he's such a great guy. He should have someone who'll take care of him right. Anyway, so when he called and asked if I'd "sneak away" and catch up, just me and him, when Wendy and Shaun were away, I booked the first ticket home. "You want another beer, man?" Derek asked me. "Nah, I think I'm okay." I didn't want to ask him right off the bat. "Water? Anything?" "Just chill, man. You don't need to wait on me." "I know. I'm just..." He sat down next to me on the couch. "Fuck." He punched the wall and wouldn't look at me. I hadn't seem him do that since I left his bike unlocked and it got stolen. "What's wrong? You can tell me." I said, but he stood back up and started pacing again. "I can't." He sat back down. "I want to tell someone, but I can't." "Is that was this is about? You have something to tell me?" I put my hand on his shoulder. He sat so still. "What is it? Derek, you're okay, right?" "Oh yeah, I'm fine. Sorry. I just get so freaked out sometimes..." He stood back up and got a beer for each of this. I was already pretty drunk, but I didn't want to let him down. "I wish I could be like you. Still single, free to do whatever--fuck whoever"--he looked over at me then--"take what you want when you want it and have it not matter." He looked at me again, but I didn't know what there was to say. "Whatever it is you can tell me." I looked him in the eyes. "I cheated on her, man." He sat down next to me. "I never thought I'd be like Dad, you know. I hate that kind of guy--I mean, I love her. I do. And Shaun. And if I lost him..." He put his head in his hands and I reached out and rubbed his back. I had never known him to cry. "Well, what happened? If you want to talk about it, you can." He hadn't talked to me about his sex life since Christmas. But for a long while I'd heard stories about her not putting out or being stressed because of the baby and him going to jerk off in the garage after she'd gone to bed. "The opportunity arose. And that's all it took." He turned to me. He hadn't been crying. Instead, he looked angry. Like it was my fault. And that's when he kissed me. All at once with his whole body. Tackling me like when we were little, but with his crotch up against mine and his body hard and soft at once. "No, what are you doing?" I said, pushing him away. "I need this Kyle," he said, as if him saying it would convince me. "No you don't. What is this?" I was shocked. If it had been in a porn or whatever, it would have been the kind of thing to turn me off. Out of nowhere and with no real warning. "Okay man. Get ahold of yourself. I mean, I'm flattered and all, but..." But what? Did I want to? The panic or surprise was subsiding, and I noticed I was getting a little aroused at the idea that my big brother would want to fool around. How long had he felt like this? "Do you even like men?" I asked, standing then. "No, it's not like that." He shook his head and wiped the spit from his mouth. "I like you though. Come on, we've always been flirty. You've always let me tease you, right?" I was trying to make a joke out of it, like always. He flailed around like a queen and made a kissy face. "Fuck you, Derek. I'm not some faggy whore you can just leap onto when you're fucked up." "I'm completely sober, dude." "I mean emotionally." I put my jacket on, but fumbled getting my arm into the sleeve. "Just because you're upset or pent up or whatever doesn't mean I want to make out with you. Sometimes I don't know who you think I am." He stood to came up like he was going to hit me. "Do you think gay people are like that? We'll just fuck anything or anyone who asks?" And then he kissed me again. And this time I kissed him back. I don't know why. I guess the part of my brain that was shocked the first time was still in shock. My body was coursing with adrenaline and my heart said yes. He kissed me hard and wrapped his arms around me the way I'd always hoped a man would after sharing a life together. And Derek and I had in a way. When he finally stopped kissing me and pulled away, it was gently, as if he wanted me to see that it was a tender kiss. That is was sober and planned and necessary. "I don't know what I can say, man." He was blushing. "I've wanted this for a long time... And then you came out and it wasn't the right time. And then I went to college and it wasn't the right time. And then I met her and next thing you know we were married..." I didn't know if I should comfort him or leave before it all got more complicated. "I just--you feel it too, right? It's not just in my head. I've never had a friend like you. Or a lover. I mean, I could tell you anything. And that's so much more..." He sat down and put his hands up to cover his face again. "No, finish," I insisted. "I sound crazy." "No you don't. You sound like you mean it." And that's when he looked me hard in the face, like he was pleading with me to take him seriously. "I do mean it bud. I don't think I'm gay, because I don't like guys. I don't look at gay porn. I don't think of them when I beat off. But sometimes I think of you. The only guy I think of. Going through scenes from when we were younger and rewriting what I should of said and done." He put his hand to the back of my neck. "I don't want to hurt her. I don't ever want to. But you were mine first." He looked down at my crotch and then smiled up at me. "I was going to ask if I was freaking you out, but I guess I have an answer." He looked down again and I blushed and started to cover my growing erection. "No, let me see." And he pulled my hand away and then gently touched the bulge of my jeans so that it tickled. Then felt it harder, feeling out its shape. He kept looking at my face to make sure I was okay. So I closed my eyes and let my head fall back as he continued. He undid the buttons to my jeans and then reached his hand in. He came closer and started kissing my neck, wrapping his big hand around my oozing cock. I could feel his breath on me and his scruff. I tilted my head to give him more of my neck and rocked in my seat so he could get his hand all the way around my shaft. I imagined him jerking off in the garage, thinking of me. Thinking of the time we slept together in the back seat of the car for no reason. The times I watched TV with my head in his lap until I convinced myself he was a little hard. The times he'd tuck me in though I was far too old and would mockingly kiss me on the forehead. And then there we were, fifteen years later with my dick in his fist and his tongue in my mouth. That's when it occurred to me he'd be okay if I touched him back. I pulled his shirt up and felt his chest. He had just the right amount of hair and smiled a little as I felt it. I rubbed up to his nipples and pinched them a little and he kissed me harder. I thought I was getting close, so pulled on his arm to get it out of my pants. "What's wrong?" He licked my juice from his palm and smiled at me. I thought I was going to blow. "Nothing, trust me." And I closed my eyes to catch my breath. "Get on your back," he said. "Hold on." "No," he commanded. "Get on your back. Now." I had never heard him talk to me like that. I did what he said, and laughed a little to myself. "Take off your shirt and jeans." I was still tugging on the last leg of my jeans when he started sucking on my nipples and sniffing my armpit. I left it hanging on to my foot, and found it easier to let him have control if I could think of that one piece of clothes hanging on to me. It was a distraction. Otherwise, I might have come... and who knows what would or wouldn't have happened. "What do you like?" he asked. "Everything." "Everything, huh?" He nibbled a little harder on my nipple and started down like he was going to go down on me, but once he was down there he kept going. He lifted up my legs and sniffed at my sweaty balls and ass. "Just like your brother," he teased. "I guess," I joked. "Who knew?" And with that, he started licking at my balls, and then my hole. He worked me slowly but roughly, like he knew where he wanted the night to go, had rehearsed it in his head so many times. He pulled away and started to massage it with his knuckles. "Like this?" Though he could tell I did. "And this?" he asked, letting one finger in slowly. He was clearly in a hurry to fuck me. And lucky for him I didn't need much preparation. I sat up and kissed him hard, pulling his shirt off over his head. I sucked on his tongue as I undid his belt. As I slid it out of the loops, he grabbed my wrist. "Let me." And he smirked, using his belt to tie my hands together. "Get on the floor," he motioned with his eyes as he said it. And I did, hungry for him. He tied my hands to a leg of the coffee table, and pulled my jeans the rest of the way off. He stood, straddling my chest as his pants came down, and then his boxers. I would never have guessed his dick would be so perfect. Big and thick and shaped to please a man. He knelt there over me so that it barely touched my lips and I opened my mouth for it. "I fucking love this," he beamed, then pulled it away again. "You're starved for my cock, aren't you?" "I'm loving this too." "Say it bro. You want me to fuck you." "Yeah. I want you to. Please." "Say the words or I won't." "I want you to fuck me." "Big brother sex god." I laughed, but said it and meant it. "Big brother sex god." And with that, he went down on me. I can't be sure how long. I nearly came several times. He took turns fingering me and sucking on my hole. Rimming and jerking me and scratching my chest with his beard. Then once I was ready, he crawled up to be eye to eye and asked again. "Do you want me to fuck you?" "If you don't, they will never find the body." He raised my legs up onto his shoulders and lined his big cock head up against my hole. I held my breath and said I was ready. And with one thrust, he fell deep inside me. Then pushed himself up so he could kiss me while we fucked. His hands held the back of my head, then worked on my balls. He grunted and moaned. I squeezed his dick with my body and moved along with him. When I was close, I told him, and he said he wanted it in his mouth. Still fucking me, he curled forward and reached, catching what he could of my load in his mouth. And with that, my body bucking against his, my brother pulled out, shooting his load onto and into my mouth, without warning. Our mess went everywhere. As we lay there in a pile of each other's stuff, I loosed the belt from around my wrists. He caught me doing it and helped me to get comfortable. "You're such a freak," I told him. "But so am I." "Just like I said, man. You're the only guy for me." And with that, we slept. Right there on the carpet, naked together. I dreamt we were in a small boat in the middle of the ocean, no one around for days. No wife, no kid, no real life to return to. And when I woke up, he was still holding on to me. And our weekend had just started.