Date: Tue, 7 Feb 2012 13:54:52 +0200
From: Romy Harb <romy.harb@hotmail.com>
Subject: Little Smile - Chapter 2

The characters and events in this story are completely fictional.

Copyright 2012.  All copyrights reserved


Music was playing in his room:

"If everything was everything but everything is over
Everything could be everything if only we were older
Guess it's just a silly song about you
And how I lost you
And your brown eyes"

As he was putting his clothes on, he thought: "Damn why am I falling for
him?"

So he went to the fountain as he assumed that this is where all students
gather and that it's the crossroads in the campus. He waited for five
minutes and Ryan came saying: "I totally forgot that we didn't arrange a
place to meet, but I figured that you'd come here.

- Yeah it's okay.

- I like to walk. Let's walk. {They walked} So look I'm starving and I hope
that you haven't eaten already, maybe we could grab something to eat.

- Yeah sure!

- Do you like sushi? {Paul shrugs his shoulders} You have tried them,
haven't you? {Paul raises his eyebrows} I can't believe it! You never tried
it! Okay today we're going to try, you're going to try! You'll see it's to
die for.

- Great.

- Yes, so let's walk to that sushi restaurant at the square, you don't
mind, do you?

- Actually I'd like to try. {With an excited smile on his face}

- So tell me, how old are you?

- Twenty.

- Okay, I'm twenty-one. Wait, how come?

- I. I did something else before psychology.

- And what did you do?

- Medicine. For 3 semesters.

- Really! And why did you leave?

- The stress. I couldn't study all my life. I needed something
lighter. It's better for my mind.

- Of course. And why did you choose psychology afterwards?

- Because I like crazy people. {With a smirk on his face}

- {Ryan laughs} That's a good one. Actually we're both crazy for going to a
shrink. {They giggle}

- No we aren't. Tell me, why did you choose psychology?

- I was influenced by some people in my family, some of them were sick. And
I like helping people.

- Aha. And let me ask you. why are you going to a shrink?

- Mmmm my mom died a year ago. I still didn't get out of it.

- Oh, I'm.

- No it's okay.

- And. how did she die?

- Multiple sclerosis. She had it for like ten years. It's something
neurological.

- Yeah I know, it must be awful.

- Yeah. But life goes on. So why did you go to a shrink?

- {Embarrassed} I. I don't want to talk about it.

- Come on, if you ask you should expect to be asked too, right?

- Yeah you're right, unfortunately.

- So?

- I got depressed. Just like that. For no reason. And it won't go away.

- Okay, and how long have you been like this?

- Three years.

- Wow! So it's been since school, right?

- Yeah.

- And why is that?


- I told you. There's no reason. It must be genetic since my mom was
depressed too.

- Yeah sure, but there's always a reason, at least a conscious one. So do
you think you know what caused your depression? Oh look that's the place."

They went inside. It was a little place. Ryan chose for Paul to try.

Paul breaks the silence: "Is it me or this feels like. a date?

- Do you want it to be a date? {Silence} So? Did you like it? The food?

- Emmm. It tastes like. rice. {Ryan laughs} Really, it has no taste.

- Okay, you'll get used to it. At least it's not awful.

- No, it's good.

- You know, I always noticed that people either are in love with sushi or
just hate it. You seem indifferent.

- Mhm.

- Yeah slow down while eating that. {He giggles} So? You didn't answer.

- To what? {With food in his mouth}

- You know, the reason.

- Reason to what? Why are you giving me that look?

- The reason behind your depression.

- I thought we were going to talk about psychology.

- Yeah we'll get there. But now answer me.

- You really want to know? Okay. I think it's because. it's because. I'm
gay. I wasn't very liked at school because I was always the top of my class
so I didn't have friends and when I found out that I am, you know, gay, it
just got worth and combine it with the genetic factor you get this.

- Aha. And when did you find out you were gay?

- When I started liking people and thinking about them sexually it was
always about guys, I have never liked a girl. Sure, I did, but only as
friends.

- Man I'm sorry I shouldn't have made you speak out, it's something
private, you really should learn to speak less about yourself to strangers
that quickly.

- Yeah and now this gets awkward because I'm gay and you're not and
friendships like that just don't work so let's just talk about the damn
major and get out of here.

- Wait. No, don't worry, I don't have a problem with that. Just relax. And,
you really said that we're going to be friends?

- I. {Gets all perplexed}

- Yeah, I'd like that.

- Look, I have to tell you something. I smoke. And I really feel like
smoking right now so I hope you don't get bothered.

- Sure, I smoke too. How much do you smoke?

- Like a pack a day.

- Wow. I barely smoke five a day. And when did you start that nasty habit?

- At fifteen.

- Oh my God, that's too young. I started a year ago when my mom died.

- Yeah I smoke a little at my first year.

- Please don't tell me that I'll become like you.

- {Paul chuckles and offers Ryan a cigarette, they start smoking} I liked
sushi. It's good to try new things, don't you think? {Ryan looks at him
with that playful smile because the poor kid didn't know} So why did you
talk to me that other day, I mean, I'm a total stranger.

- What do you mean?

- I mean maybe I was unresponsive or unfriendly and that you shouldn't have
talked to me? And do you always take new psychology students to eat sushi?

- {Ryan laughs out loud} You're funny. Let's just say that I felt that
you're going to be a good shrink.

- Really. You just felt that.

- Well.

- It's okay, I got it."

And they sat there in that awkward silence. Paul has just realized what he
was doing. He was hoping for something that is going to happen, he was
pushing the guy to say stuff. Even if the guy was gay or if he liked him,
he would do the same mistake again that he did with other guys, he would be
the one with the initiative that leads to a relationship or whatever and
then the other guy would use him and just walk away. Ryan couldn't but
notice the sad look on Paul's face so he just ordered the check. They
walked out of the restaurant and Paul was still silent and upset. So Ryan
proposed:

"Let's go back to the campus, what do you think?"

Paul shrugged his shoulders. So they went. They didn't speak a word all the
way. And when they arrived Paul spoke:

"You know, I should be probably get going, I have a lot to study, so see
you around.

- Hey, come on, {he pushes him by the shoulder to come in the direction of
the garden} you still have like two hours to your class, it's not like you
have time to study anything. Let's go to the garden, I have something to
tell you."

So they go, but Paul is still upset. And as they get by the bench where
there's practically no one, Paul asks:

"So don't you have like work or something? Studying maybe?

- Today I have off. {Paul looks away} I chose to talk to you because we
both study psychology, we both go to a shrink, and because you seem a
friendly good guy, I could see it from your face. I have this sort of
radar, I can spot good people, and that's how I chose my friends. {He stops
to think what to say and Paul is still looking away}

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

They walked out of the garden with happy faces and Ryan asked Paul:

"So what's your full name so I can add you?

- Paul McQueen.

- Okay. I am Ryan LeBlanc so if I didn't add you in a couple of days add
me.

- Great! See you later.

- Ciao!"

They kissed on the cheeks and Paul went back to his car, thinking about
those sad clown eyes.