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Subject: {ASSM} To Whom It May Concern (Esu Migabe)  NOSEX
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Darling,

Where do I start this letter? It could be at a number of points, each one no 
more relevant than the other. Just let's say that the reason that I began it 
here was because that was the thought that was uppermost in my mind when I 
sat down to write this.

Frustration, that's a funny word isn't it? It can have so many different 
meanings in a way. Frustrated with yourself or maybe life, could even be 
your partner but it's your feeling at that particular time and no-one 
else's. The months that have just passed have seen my emotions go through 
unfamiliar territory, hopefully now that is all at an end. Well, I hope so 
anyway.

At the start of it all, I didn't believe that it could have lasted so long. 
A month maybe and then everything would be back to normal. If I had known 
that that one month would have lasted six nearly seven, I think I would have 
given up then.

Human spirit is a strange thing isn't it? We always look on the bright side 
of things, telling ourselves that things will be better soon. When it was 
pointed out to me that it could take a while for things to improve, I 
dismissed them. You're wrong. I know better, well guess what, they were 
right.

There have been tantrums and tears, probably all the different ways that I 
have coped with your illness. Thinking back I don't know how I did it. The 
thoughts that drifted through my mind when you were lying in bed yet again 
because of the tiredness you felt. Was I selfish? Probably.

The times when things seemed to improve only to be knocked back the 
following day. The adage `one step forward, two steps back' used to spring 
into my mind.

The worse thought was just before Christmas, we didn't even know if there 
were going to be any more. Was it the last one after we had shared so many 
together? I think it was the day before Christmas Eve, we got the results. 
You were going to be alright. It was going to take a while but at least it 
wasn't time.

A few days later, they did the medical procedure, we were together. We 
walked to the hospital that morning. I still remember you being amazed that 
it was dark at that time in the morning. It was over by lunchtime and we 
both came home. The following days put you back again and it seemed that 
things were going nowhere.

But the tide has turned. Even though we both know the challenges lie ahead, 
we can deal with them together. Our dreams are intact.

Thank you.


xxxxxx



Wondering,

Will he be ok?

Asking,

Are you alright?

Sighing,

Seeing him sleep

Worrying,

What is wrong?

Knowing,

I must stay strong.


____________________________________________________________________
Foot Notes (C) Esu Migabe February 2006

Please address comments to esu_migabe@hotmail.com

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